Firstly she gave birth to me. Wow! Now that has to be something to shout about. She gave me the greatest gift that can be given to any human – and that is life. She carried me for nine months before I gasped for air and then loved me throughout my childhood, on through my teenage years and well into adulthood.

Of her childhood I know little except that at some point her mother and father separated and divorced and with her other siblings was deposited into a home with strangers. I can only imagine the pain experienced for a child to be plucked from their surroundings and placed into the care of strangers.

At the tender age of 14 she left school and took up employment. In 1957 she was married and took up residence with my father in a two bedroom fibro house at Peakhurst South, a southern suburb in the city of Sydney Australia at the age of 18, and then gave birth to me when she was 20 years of age.

When I was six years old she decided that she wanted to learn the piano and at the same time I was included in the equation. This is when I took my first piano lessons and developed my love for music.

Throughout my childhood, although a stay at home mum, she was always busying herself by teaching Sunday school, taking on piano students, teaching Scripture at our local school and even took on the responsibility of a foster child when I was nine.

Back To School

Mum was always willing to learn new things. There was an insatiable desire that she had to learn new things and meet new people. It was unstoppable, and culminated when I was nearly  eighteen years of age when she announced that she was going to go back to school with the intentions of becoming a school teacher.

So while I was nearing the end of my own studies at school my mother attended a local college to study for her year 11 exams. She did so well that she skipped a year and was promoted straight into teacher’s college. That’s where she spent the next three years before qualifying as a fully fledged primary school teacher.

From that day on she continued to keep learning and ultimately became a teacher at the very school that I had started out at the age of 4. By the time she retired she had reached the position of executive teacher, and if she had so desired could have gone on to become principal.

When I wrote the orchestral music for a musical that was performed at our church there was mum volunteering to conduct a full orchestra, something she had never done before, but fearlessly she stepped up and successfully did just that.

She was the first one in our family who owned an apple computer and even to this day, now in her seventies, keeps up to date with the latest technologies that are available to use.

Gifted as a cook. Creative with her hands  - producing works of art that adorn our beds and my children’s beds. Always taking part in this group and that group. Recently she had her photo in a local newspaper as she championed a cause in her local area to keep a space free for the walking of dogs and for health and recreation for the dog owners.

Fearless. Motivated. Avid learner. Proactive. Creative.

That’s my mother.

And the other thing that tops it all is the fact that she had me in church from the very day that I was born, and it is because of that positioning that I eventually met my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. My faith is a direct result of her spiritual influence on my life throughout those years.

I love her and respect her for all the good that she has deposited into my life through word and action.

She also invested into my life the love of books by buying me and reading to me the books that won book awards. I know that I am a writer today because of her direct influence in that area.

My mother, and her name is June, as she was born in the month of June, inspires me to be the same to my children and grand children along with all those others, like yourself, that I have the privilege of influencing throughout my lifetime.

May I encourage you to be proud of someone in your life, and don’t ever forget to tell them.

Share below in the comments who you are proud of in your life?

No related posts.

Motivational Memo Blog -

According to a 2-year study conducted by Northwestern National Life Insurance, 72 percent of American workers experience frequent physical and mental conditions that are directly related to stress in their jobs – that’s 3 out of 4 are getting sick from their jobs.

Fact is, if you want to FREELY follow your passion and increase your personal wellness, you must be your own boss.

This means that you must quit the job you hate and start for the first time in your life waking up in the morning excited to go to work!

7 Things You Must Sacrifice

You just need to be aware of 7 things you must sacrifice when you quit your job and become your own boss:

1. Boredom
2. Stress
3. Company Rules
4. Rush-hour
5. Bad Bosses & Co-workers
6. Repetitive Work
7. Vacations on Permission

These might seem to be good things to let go of. So, why am I saying you have to sacrifice them?

Unfortunately, you will sacrifice these things because you’ve been used to them for so long that your newly acquired freedom will confuse you. You won’t feel at ease in the beginning.

Surprisingly, you will be out of your comfort zone struggling to manage your new FREEDOM:

1. You’re doing exciting work that you’re passionate about DAILY! (sacrificing boredom)
2. This in turn increases your overall well-being (sacrificing stress)
3. You set your own rules and freely choose your working hours (sacrificing company rules)
4. You don’t spend stressful hours commuting (sacrificing rush-hour)
5. You don’t have to work with people you don’t like (sacrificing bad bosses and coworkers)
6. You bring your creativity and full potential back to life (sacrificing repetitive work)
7. You take vacations whenever you like without asking for permission! (sacrificing imposed vacations)

This new freedom will take you some time to embrace and make it part of your comfort zone.

Now, you’ll probably be asking, “What is the first thing I should do to plan a safe quit from my current job and start experiencing this new freedom?”

Well, the first step is to find your lost passion and discover your purpose in life.

Finding your purpose gives you clarity.

And clarity increases your personal power.

And your increased personal power will help you start forging a bright new future and a NEW PASSIONATE FREEDOM.

Do you think it’s easy to make the sacrifice? Let’s discuss in the comments section.

Mohamed Tohami is a bestselling author and the creator of “The P.A.S. Technique: The World’s Easiest Way To Find Your Passion and Purpose In Life”. If you want to set your heart & soul free from the prison of the paycheck and discover how to proudly follow your passion, give a visit to his Transformational Motivation blog now.

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1. Easter’s Sacrifice
2. The Intelligent Way To Make Money In The Pursuit Of Your Passion
3. Passion

Motivational Memo Blog -

They particularly played a dominant role in my life when I was nine years old and my parents decided to invite a twelve-year-old boy to live with us.

Being super-athletic, on the very first day he attended my school, he was challenged to race the fastest boy in the school. With mixed feelings I celebrated the fact that the boy who had just moved into our house was now the toast of the school and faster than the fastest.

He could swim (which I struggled with and in fact nearly drowned in a twenty five meter swimming race in front of a crowd of onlookers), he could run fast, he could jump high, he could play any sport, was clever with his hands and could make anything. It appeared that he could do everything that I couldn’t.

So all in all I, as the boy who played the piano, and who always came last in running races, I found myself shrinking more and more back into my shell.

But after three years the star left our home and I was once again able to come out from under his bright and shining light that had cast such a shadow over my life.

So What Next?

I overcame fear through action. There was no other cure.

I destroyed timidity by placing myself in situations where I was forced to oil my wheels of self-confidence. At times I made myself vulnerable and even fallible. It made me stronger no matter the results.

And lastly, when it came to self-pity I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I stood in front of the mirror and spoke to myself sternly. At the same time I listed all the things that I could be grateful for. I focused on my strengths, not my weaknesses.

So What Now?

These lessons, which I learnt as a boy, are the very same lessons that I have needed to repeat as an adult, for those giants of fear, timidity and self pity have reared their ugly heads time and time again throughout my life in many different forms.

So what have I done to defeat them time and time again?

Living Life As An Overcomer

Apply these following three steps and watch victory become your companion.

1. Action cures fear. That’s right. If you sit around and wallow in your fear then nothing will ever change. Lift a finger. Speak a word. Do something, no matter how minuscule it might seem to you and watch how courage will be infused into your being to do even more.

2. Stand tall. Speak Confidently. Act confidently. Walk confidently. Put a smile on your face and watch timidity leave.

3. Replace self-pity with an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings and stop whining. Refuse to feel sorry for yourself. Help others.

So there you have it. You have all that you need to live a victorious life.

And while we’re here please share with us how you have defeated these three giants in your day-to-day life.

Related posts:

1. How To Risk More & Fear Less
2. Why Fear Is Not All That It Is Cracked Up To Be

Motivational Memo Blog -

I think it was when I heard read to me The Owl & The Pussy Cat as a child. Then as a teenager I had a teacher introduce me to the works of Geoffrey Chaucer and John Donne.

So from time to time I play with words – and as I was a song lyricist for many years and a librettist, I from time to time wander back and tinker with words.

Some time ago on Facebook I published this poem – and thought that it deserved a place on my blog. So here it is entitled – From That Heart. Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. Why I’m In The Heart To Heart Resuscitation Business
2. The Heart Playground

Motivational Memo Blog -

One thing that all of us have in common is the ability to focus on external objects or events. Today I was watching my beloved Baltimore Ravens play the Houston Texans for the AFC playoff hunt.

Maybe you don’t care a lick about American Football and I am alright with that, but I want to use this as an example for this post.

Let’s back up for a moment. At 1:00 pm on Sunday January the 15th the Ravens and the Texans played each other for a chance to go to the AFC championship game against the New England Patriots next Sunday. So my wife and I are eagerly watching the game as my son, who could care less about Football begins to watch Scooby Doo on his computer. Wow, great for my wife and I because we won’t be distracted with the 100th comment by my son of, “when will this be over so I can watch ICarly?”

The game has started and the Ravens are winning for a while and my attention is directly focused on the game. No thoughts of money, work , health, relationships or any other thoughts that commonly go through my head. Oh what a feeling to be free of the trivial worries/thoughts that I have daily.

You see, my focus was on one thing and one thing only, the Ravens Football game. After many close calls the Ravens did eventually win the game and will go on to play at New England next week for the AFC Championship game much to my delight I might add.

So for four hours my thoughts and attention were on the game until it was over. My reality for four hours was the game and nothing else other than the occasional bathroom break.

Why am I telling you about the Football game and reality? What you focus on becomes real to you whether it is “real” or not.

When your thoughts are spiraling out of control with fear, worry and stress, yes it happens to the best of us, begin to change your focus on something that makes you feel good instead. The truth is that most worries will work themselves out if you do not add any more stress to it by focusing your attention on them. Trust me, the phrase “Let Go and Let God is around for a reason.”

How to change your focus to a better feeling place

There are many ways that I use to get my focus in alignment with how I really want to feel. Below are some really easy ways that work.

• Do something creative like drawing, coloring, decorating etc to activate your creative right brain.
• Take five minutes and do some breathing exercises. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for eight seconds, and then exhale for four seconds. Do this at least three times to feel more focused.
• Exercise for fifteen minutes. Exercise does not have to be strenuous either. Do whatever feels good, get’s your lungs pumping and get’s your body moving. I’ll leave how you do that up to you.
• Go for a drive. Take the family or go solo for a nice country drive. Before my family and I moved to the Country we would take Sunday drives out here just to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle of it all.
• Get Cooking. I love to learn new recipes and try them out at home. Baking is fun and creative and you can give away the goodies to your friends and family.
• The best thing you can do with your energy is to focus it where you’d like to see further expansion. If you want to see more joy in this world then focus on joy. If you want to see more peace then focus on peace. If you want to see more prosperity in this world then focus on prosperity. Is this making sense yet?

What’s fun about these exercises is that you can train your brain to focus on what you want to instead of allowing every thought and reaction that normally comes your way. What else is great about focusing your reality is that you will gain some sense of managing the thoughts that come through your head each day.

This post was written by Justin Mazza of  Mazzastick.com. Justin has immersed himself with knowledge and experience for over 15 years pertaining to the fields of psychology, personal development, spirituality, physical health and vitality, and metaphysical studies. Have a look at his coaching page and get an email, phone or Skype session with him.

Related posts:

1. How To Gain The Winner’s Advantage Through The Power Of Focus
2. 3 Ways That You Can Make A Real Difference

Motivational Memo Blog -

Prince Bhavik • Nature yields her most profound secrets to those who are determined to uncover them, only the worthy of it who has put in equal amounts of effort will realize these secrets, only the strong

Sue Z. Hart • Optimist: someone who isn’t sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy but is tickled silly just to be in the play. ~Robert Brault

Paul O’Donoghue • The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.

Rodney White • You often hear people exclaim that they tried. I say; “try works best when you add the umph!” ~ Rod White

Michael Martel • Courage is being scared to death… and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

Carol Dorn • Ah now that is great.

Jenny Triplett • “To the world you may be just one person but to one person you may be the world.” We live it and breathe it everyday.

Carol Dorn • I was working with a manager who lost her way. In this period of business so many get lost so I drive you back to the center. I motivate and guide you to you. I will bring you home to your core. I speak as though I was touching you. A poet not a reporter , so take this as a reminder my friends and relax

Chad Stewart • On the Plains of Hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions, who, at the Dawn of Victory, sat down to wait, and waiting, died – George W. Cecil

Terri Armstrong • Chad – that has been one of my favorite quotes for years – thanks for sharing.

Ronald Collier • In this year we should all try: ” To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life” … Robert Louis Stevenson

This is something I take to heart…

Damon Lawrenson (lion) • If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get more of what you have always got! definition of insanity is doing the same things expecting different results!

Ronald Collier • “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can somehow become great.” – Mark Twain  ”If you don’t try, you will never succeed”

Pamela Winter, DTM • Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I have discovered 10,000 ways in which it will NOT work.”

Chad Stewart • What do dreams know of boundaries – Amelia Earhart

Michael J W Morgan • Hi there everyone, One of the quotes that stays with me is just ten words of two letters each and this is “If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me.” Short and powerful.

Kevin Lankford • “A setback is a setup for a comeback!” Wille Jolley

Jacquelyn Badgette • “A wise man never talk as much as he/she listen” Proverbs

Chad Stewart • The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward – Amelia Earhart

Michelle Barr • “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” — e.e. cummings  Life-changer!

Joshua Johnson • The goldfish in the glass bowl will never understand the existence of the ocean.

Chad Stewart • A Time To Believe

To believe is to know that

every day is a new beginning.

Is to trust that miracles happen,

and dreams really do come true.

To believe is to see angels

dancing among the clouds,

To know the wonder of a stardust sky

and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,

The innocence of a child’s eyes

and the beauty of an aging hand,

for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength

and courage that lies within us

When it’s time to pick up

the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know

we are not alone,

That life is a gift

and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know

that wonderful surprises are just

waiting to happen,

And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe

* Morbitzer

Dr. Thom A. Lisk • Believe! Who was it that said… “I believe, help me in my unbelief.” He was speaking to the author of life, Jesus.

Terri Dunevant • Dr. Thom, thanks for reminding us that even the desperate father of a sick child can have a problem with “believing”. But it really is that simple : )

Prof P.K.Keshap • Dear friends – In the coming year may the Lord give You and Your Family Jolly January, Fantastic February, Majestic March, Appealing April, Meaningful May, Joyful June & July, Attractive August, Successful September, Outstanding October, Novel November, Delightful December and every month be filled with Marvelous Mondays, Thoughtful Tuesdays, Wonderful Wednesdays, Thankful Thursdays, Funtastic Fridays, Superb Saturdays & Sweetest Sundays.

Chad Stewart • Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,

The flying cloud, the frosty light;

The year is dying in the night;

Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go;

Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,

For those that here we see no more,

Ring out the feud of rich and poor,

Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,

And ancient forms of party strife;

Ring in the nobler modes of life,

With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care the sin,

The faithless coldness of the times;

Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,

But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,

The civic slander and the spite;

Ring in the love of truth and right,

Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,

Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;

Ring out the thousand wars of old,

Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,

The larger heart, the kindlier hand;

Ring out the darkness of the land,

Ring in the Christ that is to be.

- Tennyson

Prof P.K.Keshap • Liked it. Intellectuals belong to the world. Intellect too. Thanks for sharing.

Dr. Thom A. Lisk • “This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad.”

Pensamentos C. • “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got.” (Albert Einstein)

Peter Ross • If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride and never quit, you’ll be a winner…(Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, University of Alabama, 1958-1982)

Tommi Lloyd • “We do not attract that which we want, but that which we are”. Steve Allen

Dr. Houston Vetter – DocResults – Life Coaching • You ALREADY ARE infinite, eternal, unlimited, perfect and complete. Once you get that half as good as you have I’m finite, small, limited, imperfect and incomplete down, your life will shift in the most amazing ways possible. Without any effort on your part.- My Grampa Vetter

Allen Klein • “Give away what you want to attract.”

Michael Licalsi • The Power Of Positive Thinking Is A Force So Great Its Enabled Ordinary People To Achieve Goals Beyond Their Wildest Dreams

Diane Minnich • “When I wake up in the morning I have two choices. I can be happy or I can be unhappy. I’m not an idiot, I choose to be happy.” Norman Vincent Peale

Dr. Thom A. Lisk • Norman Vincent Peale was my friend and mentor: Read: The Power of Positive Thinking, his classic best seller.

Laura Rhodes  • Evolve or die!

Allen Klein • Give away what you want to attract.

Renée Ouellette-Annis • Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. – Carl Gustav Jung

Peter G. J. Sinclair – Motivator • Secret To A Perfect Life: practice forgive-ness & pursue forget-ness!

Jose Manuel Valle Alvarez • Wake up happy every day and follow happiness as a philosophy of life…… at home, at the job, with your fiends.. always try to be happy and keep smile …. your life will be better …. happy new year to all of you…….

Carol Dorn • Peter thank you for posting the “Secret To a Perfect Life…………”

This is my favorite for where I am now.

Rajeev Rajdeep • Never allow others to control your emotions. Never depend others to shape your life.

Kat Smith • Life is a highway and I’m gonna ride it all night long! This is a lyric from a Rascal Flats song and it hit me as a great way to look at life. Most things we cannot control, so just ride it and enjoy the view and the adventure.

Chris Mitchell • The biggest mistake you can make in life, is not doing something because you are scared you’ll make a mistake!

Larry D. Patton • Wherever your attention goes energy flows and results show-up!

Related posts:

1. 87 Inspirational & Motivational Quotes To Impact Your Life
2. 52 Inspirational Quotes That Have Changed People’s Lives
3. 52 Inspirational Quotes By Peter G. James Sinclair

Motivational Memo Blog -

That statement caused me to pause for a moment and review my life. To be honest, until that point I hadn’t really thought about it much.

But the more I considered it, it started to raise a couple of questions in my mind’s eye.

• Is persistence something that you are born with?
• Or is persistence something that one needs to develop?

I really don’t have a definitive answer for such questions. All I know is this – that unless you persist you will never, ever succeed at anything.

One of the reasons that we often fail to persist is that when we set out to do a task or pursue a dream we are quickly faced with rejection.

But it is so important to recognize that in most cases rejection is simply another human’s opinion.

My Current Persistence Project

Currently I am embarking upon the pursuit of a literary agent and an international publisher for my works of fiction.

To date I have queried in excess of 100 literary agents and have received at least 60 rejections.

So what does that mean?

I have a more than 40% chance of success – and while I’m at it I will seek out other agents, improve my presentation of my creations and myself, and thus increase my odds for success.

Persist. Persist. Persist.

This skill of persistence is something that I have had to develop throughout my entire life – and it has taught me many things.

Persistence Taught Me…

Persistence taught me how to swim even though I nearly drowned.

Persistence taught me to play the piano although I was humiliated when  I failed one of my piano exams.

Persistence taught me to self-publish and successfully sell 3 books although the previous 3 books had been rejected by just about every literary agent and publisher in my nation.

Persistence taught me to start a domestic/commercial cleaning business when I was retrenched. I have never worked for another man in a full-time capacity since.

Persistence taught me to start a web design company when I was neither a web designer nor a technician.

Persistence taught me how to sell profitable businesses when people around me said I couldn’t and that I wouldn’t.

Persistence taught me to purchase a hair salon when I had no experience in that industry.

Persistence helped me to overcome a debilitating bout of pneumonia and two crippling frozen shoulder afflictions – along with a dose of faith in someone much bigger and smarter than myself.

Persistence taught me that anything is possible, anything can be learned, anything can be overcome, and that anything can be achieved.

Steve Pavlina defines persistence as, ‘the ability to maintain action regardless of your feelings. You press on even when you feel like quitting.’

So Where Do You Find This Unbeatable Spirit?

Well there are a number of ways to strengthen the persistent streak within your being, but know this that it requires discipline – self discipline.

But know this. You have it within you to succeed.

So here they are.

1. Have a HUGE Dream

Your desire must be greater than your mire, and your BIG dream will shine as a beacon, even in your darkest night, to encourage you to press on and to guide you.

2. Read BIG THINKING Books

Books – from the Bible to motivational/inspirational books to biographies about overcomers. Fill your heart and mind with the fuel found within these books that will build belief within you and transport you all the way to success.

3. Associate with BIG THINKERS

Take them out to lunch. Shout them a coffee. Ask questions. Listen. Take notes. Interview. Watch or listen to recordings made by big thinkers. Success is contagious.

4. Discipline YOUR DAY

Productivity arises from a disciplined life.

As I currently work from my home office, and in fact it has always been my desire to do so, I find myself in a local coffee shop at 6am each morning where I spend at least two hours in meditation, prayer, study, journaling, writing (like this article you’re reading right now) and planning.

On returning to my home office I have, awaiting me on my desk, a written list of the 6 major things I need to complete that day in order to move my life and businesses forward.

I systematically work through that list until completion. If anything is not completed on that day it is simply transferred to the next day’s list of 6.

At this point in my life I am spending my afternoons at my local library where I am editing my latest book. Each day I tackle just one chapter. By removing myself from my home office for a few hours into a quiet environment, such as a library, it helps me to focus more effectively.

So let me encourage you to persist, and maybe you’d like to add your own answer to the question in the comments section below – ‘How long must I persist to achieve success?’

Related posts:

1. Long Live Passion
2. Poss-Ability
3. Why The Long Name?

Motivational Memo Blog -

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” ~ Unknown

As a 10 year veteran high school teacher, I’ve spent a lot of time working in the trenches with teens who struggle to find their way in life.

I’ve found that nestled in the daily grind of that youthful struggle are six fundamental lessons of life that we would all do well to remember as we live out our own lives learning and growing and groping our own way through it.

Lesson #1: People want to fit in

There are a dizzying number of styles, personalities and character types on the campus where I teach.

But what I’ve found very interesting is that those who dress similarly, or listen to the same music, or have the same hobbies or interests tend to congregate together. Those who think similarly tend to find kindred spirits and friendship in each other.

Even those who make a point to be independent thinkers, free spirits stomping their own paths through life, and for whom “conformity” is a 4-letter word, are startlingly similar to those who likewise claim to be different and unlike everyone else.

In other words, they reject the mainstream and all its group-acceptance and create their own sub-mainstream group-acceptance.

It is the human condition of almost everyone to want to be accepted, to fit in with others of the group with which they identify. They want to feel like they belong, like there’s somewhere on the planet that feels like home.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be liked or wanting a place to put up your feet and call home. That’s normal and natural. But sometimes people look for acceptance in ways or with people and groups that are destructive.

I’ve known many kids who let themselves get too intimate too early because of their unfulfilled need for parental intimacy at home. Many of my kids over the years have looked for the sense of family, of acceptance, of belonging in a gang when it wasn’t provided by a mom and dad.

The bottom line?

There is great good we can do by opening up our groups and circle of friends to others. Friendships are forged and people are blessed and lives are changed.

Lesson #2: Fitting in can harm the pursuit of happiness

I’ve known kids, trying desperately to be accepted by others, conform to standards not their own. I’ve seen heart-broken girls crying for allowing boys to do things they wish they hadn’t allowed. I’ve seen guys whose grades and future opportunities began rapidly sliding away as they started using drugs and skipping school to fit in. I’ve seen personalities and attitudes change in the process of conforming to a group dynamic.

And it’s all so sad.

The problems begin when the desire to fit in trumps values and standards and sends us down ugly paths that corrupt and undermine what we’re comfortable with for the sake of being accepted by a crowd that doesn’t share our standards.

Making even small compromises to our values always leaves us diminished and emptier than before. So don’t make them. If you have already compromised, return to your values and start to honor them and protect them and practice living with integrity to them. It is only in upholding our values that we begin to feel the power of integrity.

No matter how much emotional camouflage we hide them behind, the constant violation of principle-centered values will slowly gnaw at us from the inside in our quiet moments … until we decide to return to them or totally snuff them out with indifference to self and family and conscience.

Lesson #3: Outward expressions do not always paint an accurate internal portrait

Many people are good at presenting a pretty picture of happiness while their insides are infected with gut-churning pain. But if you pay attention, you can catch the signs.

I remember one student who from the outside seemed to be about as happy as most. But it turned out that she had been abused by a family member for years and was blamed for the legal complications he incurred for the abuse. Her life was in turmoil and no one really knew.

It’s important to look for the clues: changes in personality, changes in activity and interests, changes in sleep patterns. And it’s important to reach out to those who are struggling. If we don’t reach out, who will? If everyone thought someone else will step forward and fill the need, no needs would ever be filled and the world would sink in its own stagnation.

Instead, look around. Open your eyes. Get in tune with the beat of others’ hearts. And then reach out. Let them know you care, that if they want, you’re there to talk. It can make a difference. It can make a huge difference. It can change the world, one heart, one person, one soul at a time.

That’s exactly what Peter did here when he solicited my advice (along with others) for “Struggling Sam” back in the middle of November, 2011. It was a touching example of that compassion and kindness and desire to help others that shone through as he reached out to other to reach out to Sam.

Lesson #4: People matter

The idea that people are important, that they matter has also been reinforced over the last decade of teaching high school.

For those youth who have had significant struggles with life, it was usually a person (a friend, a boy or girl friend, a teacher, a counselor) who became the catalyst to the changes necessary to lift the fog of their disillusionment with life to see light again and experience happiness and joy once more.

Badly parented youth have shared stories with me of their loneliness and depression, their bitter rage and insecurities until that one special person reached out and stepped into their lives and lifted them by force of their love and compassion and friendship. It made all the difference. It has even saved lives.

Lesson #5: External motivation can’t overcome internal apathy

No amount of external pressure or incentives or motivational speeches can do much for a person who just doesn’t care.

I know, I’ve tried. I’ve given some of my best motivational speeches, shared my most inspiring examples and reached out to students whose grades were in the dumpster. And for some, it just didn’t matter. There was no internal drive at all. They didn’t care. They didn’t believe caring would make a difference.

If you feel like life is meaningless, after all, why would you look for meaning? If you believe you are dumb, why would you try to learn something new? If you “know” you’ll be dead by the time you turn 21, why would you plan for long-term success?

I’m not a fatalist, however. I do believe we can touch lives. But the touching has to be in the area of helping them see a light, a reason to question their beliefs and dislodge apathy from their hearts and minds. That has to be the first step before the next can be taken. They have to awaken to the prospect of the possible. Really, we all have to care and care enough to initiate change in our lives to counter the powerful drag of inertia.

How do you do that? Well, it’s very different for different people. But if you can catch a vision of possibility and see yourself stepping into that possibility, then desire can start to be given breath to.

So daydream of something better. See yourself there, experiencing it, however unbelievably at first. Ask yourself how it could be accomplished. Imagine yourself taking the proper steps to accomplish it. Feel the desire well up inside. Feed it. Then take a step toward your dream.

And it won’t be long before the spark of desire and hope begins to burn a little brighter until it is the conflagration of passion.

Lesson #6: Some things simply don’t matter

I once had a student who literally got into a physical fight with her best friend during lunch because they both had purchased the same exact prom dress and neither were willing to take it back. Neither were allowed to go to prom because of the fight.

I’ve known kids who ended friendships because one was friends with someone the other didn’t like. I’ve watched kids jump off the proverbial cliff because someone told someone else that they said they didn’t like her makeup or thought she was mean to her boyfriend or some other ultimately trivial matter.

Kids get in fights and end relationships over a look, an expression, a glance, or a word.

The media inundates us with trivia and speaks of it in tones as though it mattered. Perhaps we’ve lost the ability to discern between significant and insignificant things. Or perhaps we’ve always drowned ourselves in trivial affairs.

Either way, we do ourselves, each other, and life itself a disservice by making mountains out of molehills

Afterthoughts

They say that the best way to learn a subject is to teach it. I agree. As I interact in class and teach them what I know about the art of living, I’ve learned the greater lesson.

And for that, I’m grateful.

Your Turn

We would love to know what life lessons you learned from school or from your school-aged years. Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Ken Wert is a high school teacher and personal development blogger at Meant to be Happy where he inspires readers to live with purpose, act with character, think with clarity and grow with courage. Follow him on Twitter at KenWertM2bH and subscribe to his free monthly newsletter and receive his free eBook, called A Walk Through Happiness

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Motivational Memo Blog -

As I found that I could not present such a topic with such eloquence as this master, I felt compelled to allow him to share the first 3 chapters of this work, with you.

The thoughts contained are what I would call profound. I trust you find them so.

The majority of mortals, Paulinus, complain bitterly of the spitefulness of Nature, because we are born for a brief span of life, because even this space that has been granted to us rushes by so speedily and so swiftly that all save a very few find life at an end just when they are getting ready to live. Nor is it merely the common herd and the unthinking crowd that bemoan what is, as men deem it, an universal ill; the same feeling has called forth complaint also from men who were famous. It was this that made the greatest of physicians exclaim that “life is short, art is long;” it was this that led Aristotle, while expostulating with Nature, to enter an indictment most unbecoming to a wise man—that, in point of age, she has shown such favour to animals that they drag out five or ten lifetimes, but that a much shorter limit is fixed for man, though he is born for so many and such great achievements.

It is not that we have a short space of time, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested. But when it is squandered in luxury and carelessness, when it is devoted to no good end, forced at last by the ultimate necessity we perceive that it has passed away before we were aware that it was passing. So it is—the life we receive is not short, but we make it so, nor do we have any lack of it, but are wasteful of it. Just as great and princely wealth is scattered in a moment when it comes into the hands of a bad owner, while wealth however limited, if it is entrusted to a good guardian, increases by use, so our life is amply long for him who orders it properly.

Why do we complain of Nature?

She has shown herself kindly; life, if you know how to use it, is long. But one man is possessed by an avarice that is insatiable, another by a toilsome devotion to tasks that are useless; one man is besotted with wine, another is paralyzed by sloth; one man is exhausted by an ambition that always hangs upon the decision of others, another, driven on by the greed of the trader, is led over all lands and all seas by the hope of gain; some are tormented by a passion for war and are always either bent upon inflicting danger upon others or concerned about their own; some there are who are worn out by voluntary servitude in a thankless attendance upon the great; many are kept busy either in the pursuit of other men’s fortune or in complaining of their own; many, following no fixed aim, shifting and inconstant and dissatisfied, are plunged by their fickleness into plans that are ever new; some have no fixed principle by which to direct their course, but Fate takes them unawares while they loll and yawn—so surely does it happen that I cannot doubt the truth of that utterance which the greatest of poets delivered with all the seeming of an oracle: “The part of life we really live is small. For all the rest of existence is not life, but merely time. Vices beset us and surround us on every side, and they do not permit us to rise anew and lift up our eyes for the discernment of truth, but they keep us down when once they have overwhelmed us and we are chained to lust. Their victims are never allowed to return to their true selves; if ever they chance to find some release, like the waters of the deep sea which continue to heave even after the storm is past, they are tossed about, and no rest from their lusts abides.

Think you that I am speaking of the wretches whose evils are admitted? Look at those whose prosperity men flock to behold; they are smothered by their blessings. To how many are riches a burden! From how many do eloquence and the daily straining to display their powers draw forth blood! How many are pale from constant pleasures! To how many does the throng of clients that crowd about them leave no freedom! In short, run through the list of all these men from the lowest to the highest—this man desires an advocate, this one answers the call, that one is on trial, that one defends him, that one gives sentence; no one asserts his claim to himself, everyone is wasted for the sake of another. Ask about the men whose names are known by heart, and you will see that these are the marks that distinguish them: A cultivates B and B cultivates C; no one is his own master. And then certain men show the most senseless indignation—they complain of the insolence of their superiors, because they were too busy to see them when they wished an audience! But can anyone have the hardihood to complain of the pride of another when he himself has no time to attend to himself? After all, no matter who you are, the great man does sometimes look toward you even if his face is insolent, he does sometimes condescend to listen to your words, he permits you to appear at his side; but you never deign to look upon yourself, to give ear to yourself. There is no reason, therefore, to count anyone in debt for such services, seeing that, when you performed them, you had no wish for another’s company, but could not endure your own.

Though all the brilliant intellects of the ages were to concentrate upon this one theme…

…never could they adequately express their wonder at this dense darkness of the human mind. Men do not suffer anyone to seize their estates, and they rush to stones and arms if there is even the slightest dispute about the limit of their lands, yet they allow others to trespass upon their life—nay, they themselves even lead in those who will eventually possess it. No one is to be found who is willing to distribute his money, yet among how many does each one of us distribute his life! In guarding their fortune men are often closefisted, yet, when it comes to the matter of wasting time, in the case of the one thing in which it is right to be miserly, they show themselves most prodigal. And so I should like to lay hold upon someone from the company of older men and say: “I see that you have reached the farthest limit of human life, you are pressing hard upon your hundredth year, or are even beyond it; come now, recall your life and make a reckoning. Consider how much of your time was taken up with a moneylender, how much with a mistress, how much with a patron, how much with a client, how much in wrangling with your wife, how much in punishing your slaves, how much in rushing about the city on social duties.

Add the diseases which we have caused by our own acts, add, too, the time that has lain idle and unused; you will see that you have fewer years to your credit than you count. Look back in memory and consider when you ever had a fixed plan, how few days have passed as you had intended, when you were ever at your own disposal, when your face ever wore its natural expression, when your mind was ever unperturbed, what work you have achieved in so long a life, how many have robbed you of life when you were not aware of what you were losing, how much was taken up in useless sorrow, in foolish joy, in greedy desire, in the allurements of society, how little of yourself was left to you; you will perceive that you are dying before your season!” What, then, is the reason of this? You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last. You have all the fears of mortals and all the desires of immortals.

You will hear many men saying: “After my fiftieth year I shall retire into leisure, my sixtieth year shall release me from public duties.” And what guarantee, pray, have you that your life will last longer? Who will suffer your course to be just as you plan it? Are you not ashamed to reserve for yourself only the remnant of life, and to set apart for wisdom only that time which cannot be devoted to any business? How late it is to begin to live just when we must cease to live! What foolish forgetfulness of mortality to postpone wholesome plans to the fiftieth and sixtieth year, and to intend to begin life at a point to which few have attained!

Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Seneca the Younger) (c. 4 BC – AD 65) was a Roman stoic philosopher, statesman, dramatist and humorist of the Silver Age of Latin literature. He was tutor and later advisor to the Emperor Nero.

Source: On The Shortness Of Life

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‘Like wounded oyster, he mends his shell with pearl.’

To pass through a lifetime, while living on planet earth, unscathed would take a miracle

Now don’t get me wrong. I believe in miracles, but at the same time I’m a realist.

Just like you, I have scars to prove that at times life’s battles have inflicted me, pierced me, and at times even sought to kill me.

I have bled all over the carpet (figuratively speaking) while at other times I have suffered in silence.

Thomas Hardy’s poem WOUNDS highlights the silent suffering often experienced by those of us who have been harmed.

Allow me to share it with you here…

I CLIMBED to the crest,

And, fog-festooned,

The sun lay west

Like a crimson wound:

Like that wound of mine

Of which none knew,

For I’d given no sign

That it pierced me through.

But I don’t want to focus on wounds alone. I want to draw you forward towards the healing process – so that just like the oyster your wounds can be transformed into priceless pearl.

So here are five indispensable ways to help you to grow strong through adversity for the rest of your days.

1. Forgive

In any relationship with any human – including yourself – you are going to be disappointed, let down, spoken to harshly, misunderstood and the list goes on and on.

You have two choices. You can hold on to your anger at the injustice or you can simply forgive.

Forgive others. Forgive yourself.

Once you do that it’s like a huge load has been lifted off your being. Sometimes it takes a minute to reach the point of total forgiveness, while at other times it can take years. Allow time to do its work to assist you in the process of forgiveness.

The reverse works as well. If you know that you have wounded another – go to that person and apologize. But don’t leave this one for years. Deal with at as soon as you are made aware of it. Whether they accept it or not is irrelevant. Your positive act will liberate you.

2. Forget

Stop rehearsing your hurts. Bury whatever wound has been inflicted. Conduct a funeral service if you wish. Stop talking about it. Forget it, and move on.

Whatever you have faced and forgotten will build character into your being. Life is too short to hang around any minute longer crying over a festering wound.

3. Forego

Revenge will solve nothing. It will simply turn your wounds into a gangrenous life threatening mess of stinking and rotting flesh.

Seek restitution if you can. If not, practice forgive-ness and pursue forget-ness.

Stop thinking that the world owes you an apology. It doesn’t owe you a thing. You owe life a debt to live a life free from the pursuit of constant restitution from those who have harmed you.

4. Fortify

Protect your heart. Don’t be stupid. Many of the wounds inflicted upon us are the direct result of our own naivety.

That’s why in business I put written contracts in place with clear guidelines and exit strategies just in case everything goes pear shaped.

I am also extremely selective when it comes to those whom I open my heart to, but at the same time I am not afraid of vulnerability, because I’ve learnt to transform my wounds into pearl.

5. Forte

This is a musical term that means loud.

Live life loud. Live life boisterous.

Know that wounds will come, but that they will make you stronger if you approach them in the right manner and with the right attitude.

Just like a broken bone, once mended, it is stronger at that healing point. So too is your life once healed of a wound.

Be like a child who skins their knee time and time again. A Band-Aid and a kiss solve everything, and they run off to play as if nothing ever happened.

So kiss yourself. Bandage yourself. Pray for those who have harmed you, and be actively involved in the healing process of your own life – all the way to victory.

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