motherbumper

pink isn't always cute but is always dominating

2009-11-03T14:54:00.003-05:00

@TheCaffeinatrix and Moi in Central Park, as it should be Last week I had to pleasure of escaping the routine of my life and wreak some beautiful havoc with friends new and old. Yes folks, the AimingLow crew blasted through Boston and New York and the recaps are gathered over yonder. Anyhow, on the last day I was lollygagging around my hotel room -- because I'm really good at lollygagging, so

Verified as Complex in Nature

2009-10-21T10:21:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we went to the doctor and sure enough they confirmed what we suspected: Gigi is four. I'm not sure how it happened but it's true. She is four. FOUR. One, two, three, four. Overdone sentiments about wrinkles in time will be skipped and I'll just go directly to screaming with a generous helping of denial. We sat in the office for almost an hour discussing complex issues like

Coming to a city near you... it's MOTHERBUMPER LIVE!

2009-10-18T16:39:00.001-04:00

Do you live anywhere near the following cities? TORONTO BOSTON NEW YORK CITY Yes? You do? AWESOME -- check these awesome tidbits out: TORONTO Catherine of Her Bad Mother fame and I are leading a course called Hands On Small Business (HOSB) over the next few weeks and there are four opportunities for you to join in. In a nutshell this is a course put together with the lovely ladies of Kirsty

Battle of the... oh just plain Battle, m'kay?

2009-10-13T14:20:00.000-04:00

This past Thanksgiving weekend made me thankful for good brakes, baby wipes, and reality television. First up: good brakes and baby wipes. I saw more vomit this weekend than anyone should have to in a seventy-two hour period. Unfortunately, most of it was from me. Saturday we went to a big shingding and just as we sat for dinner, the sudden realization that I was going to lose it all over

Yup, It's Monday

2009-09-28T09:38:00.002-04:00

It's raining like it's Noah-time, my coffee isn't strong enough, and Mount Laundry has reached new heights. Plus my so-called "baby" is turning four next week. This shocks me. So I spent some time this weekend looking for a gift. Do you think she'd prefer the Sir John A. Macdonald Canadian Legends action figure? Or the Sir Wilfrid Laurier? I guess it boils down to if she wants to pretend

Drained

2009-09-22T11:29:00.009-04:00

"YES, we must go NOW." There is a pause in the exasperation. "Yes, I mean it: NOW." We have new neighbours but I'm not sure exactly which apartment they have rented but I can hear them loud and clear through my bathroom drains. Loud and freakin' clear. Ai, the joys of apartment living. These new neighbours obviously have offspring which is unusual in this building full of decaying folk. Oh,

Don't go forth and multiply

2009-09-17T10:02:00.008-04:00

He sat on the edge and for a few seconds I thought he was a goner. He seemed frozen but then suddenly, he turned around placing his back to the mix below. He wasn't going anywhere fast. It was disappointing; his previous lack of movement made me think he was either intoxicated or hypnotized by the fumes and he was going to take the plunge. It was hard to tell which way he was going to go. I

Mean Green Salad Machine

2009-09-07T15:56:00.001-04:00

Not the black ones! That's what everyone just loves to hear screamed out in public. But she still yells it. Mind you, she is not quite four years old and she is just talking about lettuce. But it still shocks me every time I present a transgression on her plate. The latest offenders were the benign Oak Leaf and the equally gentle Lollo Rossa. Rejected only because of the colour of their

garboil

2009-08-26T09:38:00.000-04:00

Not Very Wordless Wednesday Series this week featuring: Men's underwear that made me giggle. Right after I snapped this on my phone, an old man wearing a fedora came up and started gingerly feeling the leg elastic with two fingers. I covered my daughter's eyes and backed out of the store. Yes, I let my three year old give me a pedicure, why do you ask? I think she did a pretty damn good job.

Misinformation: I never learn

2009-08-24T13:16:00.003-04:00

Seriously, I bitch about someone I don't even know on my blog and karma comes and kicks my ass with a cold in the middle of a humidity heat wave. THANK YOU KARMA - just what I needed to remind me that payback is always waiting with his scythe to mow me down BIG TIME. Payback is so unoriginal, he doesn't even pretend to not be ripping off the reaper, he just hangs out in a dirty bathrobe with a

It's All About Me: A Selfish Rant in less than Four Hundred Words

2009-08-18T16:44:00.004-04:00

This morning I had all my "me" time taken from me by a ruthless mom. Okay, to be completely fair, she didn't know she was stealing all my "me" time but did she really have to talk the entire time we sat in the bleachers "watching" our kids in swim class? From the moment I sat my butt down and gave my polite daily "howdy" nod to all the other moms and dads, she started talking about this, that

whine, cheese, and home reno

2009-08-12T22:00:00.007-04:00

SB and I revisited the great "should we keep the digital box?" debate since as a family, we watch sooooo little tv and yet we pay all those heaps of important monies to maintain -- monies we actually rarely see and only appear as numbers on a screen somewhere. Hey - do you ever think about your money and how it doesn't really exist and then you get scared because OMG what if the computers take

It's Monday and I'm Bejeweled

2009-08-10T08:13:00.000-04:00

This is where a post would appear if I had actually sat down and written one last night instead of becoming hopelessly addicted to Bejeweled on the iTouch and losing all track of time. I actually fell asleep while clutching the game between my little paws and SB woke me up by laughing at my latest addiction. I certainly hope you are pleased with yourself MamaTulip -- I squarely place the blame on

Partner in Crime

2009-08-05T08:47:00.000-04:00

Like I said, who gave her permission to grow up while I wasn't looking? I will never be able to resist looking into these eyes and wanting to give her the moon. Good thing she doesn't know to ask for it. Yet. Yup, this is my wordy Wordless Wednesday.

Because Growing Up is Hard To Do (for everybody involved - EVERYONE)

2009-08-03T23:09:00.001-04:00

After a brief hiatus from parenting (me BlogHer, she Grandparents), we are back to being a family unit. Truthfully, it's reeking havoc with my new found sloth sleep habits. Oh my word I could sleep all day and work all night if being a parent would let me. Sun tans never suited me and vitamin D comes in pill form, right? They wouldn't put it in pill form if it didn't work, right? Not sure who "

This isn't a BlogHer Recap (alternate title: Viva La Siesta!)

2009-07-28T17:33:00.007-04:00

Random lines from posts I've started but failed to finish: (1) Hi. My name is motherbumper and I'm a "booyah" abuser. As in, I use the word "booyah" to punctuate too many thoughts in a "yada yada yada" kind of way. (2) My deep-dish and uncomfortable thoughts on free stuff. When it comes to free stuff, I don't go looking for it but don't get me wrong, booyah! I luuuurve free stuff. Hell, if swag

well heeled women make strange post fodder

2009-07-20T12:43:00.001-04:00

For the past three hours, I've been wearing my high heels that I recently purchased. The reason I have been wearing them to do the dishes, play tea party, and do the laundry is due to a life-lesson learned back in days of yore. Once many moons ago I procured the most excellent of fancy shoes - stacked suede clogs embroidered with dragons and flowers -- and loved them like no other (well, at

You there?

2009-07-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

Holy crap, how did it get to be THIS WEEK ALREADY?!? This Thursday night, with the help of some very special sponsors and some super beautiful ladies (The Bloggess, Green Mom Review/ IzzyMom, Mrs. Fussypants, Playgroups Are No Place For Children, Velveteen Mind, and me), The 3rd Annual People's Party is kicking off in Chicago and this is my way of saying "you coming?" and thank you to those

Wordless Wednesday: Fulfilling a Dream Edition

2009-07-15T11:36:00.000-04:00

Finally I got to see the Pacific up close. Stanley Park, last Wednesday, with my daughter and beloved friends. Can't think of a better way to complete a life long dream of making it to British Columbia. for more Wordless Wednesday Participants

grunt click whistle?

2009-07-13T10:11:00.000-04:00

I think I forget how to blog... or is that blaaaaaaa-gah? All I know is we left Toronto for two weeks and we came back to the same piles of garbage. What's say we torch the place and all pick up and move 100 kms to the to the right? If we all do it we can plead ignorance. This is a group effort folks, you in? Just dropped this at camp and I'm still trying to get my head out of BC time. Share

finally I can say something!

2009-06-27T14:53:00.002-04:00

Holy crow, finally I can say something about this because OH MY WORD, what started as a pipe dream (ed. note: not actually achieved by pipe) is now a reality: This lady and I are driving across Canada (well, skipping parts but not because we didn't want to go there, we wanted to go EVERYWHERE but because that pesky thing called reality got in the way and dictated that we must break it up.) And

free just makes it even better

2009-06-25T08:07:00.002-04:00

Pssssssst my American friends... wanna know how to get something lovely (hint: Estée Lauder) for free? Check out my review blog today for details.

contagious illusions of grandeur

2009-06-24T11:00:00.001-04:00

When I worked at the Infectious Disease clinic (which was less infectious than it sounds), the head honcho doctor dude told me the two most filthy places we come in contact with on a regular basis are pop cans and envelopes. He told me this while leaning up against the front of my desk watching me lick a stack of 100 envelopes while drinking an icy cold pop in front of large oscillating fan. Dude

little fish, big smile

2009-06-18T10:52:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was my daughter's last day of nursery school. It was the first time in her little lifetime that she woke up and actually yelled "LET'S GO TO SCHOOL!" And yes, she said it with an exclamation point which for the record looks like a fist-pump in real life. Both her dad and I were kinda confused by this reaction and when I asked why she was so excited to go to school, she said without

I Was Wrong

2009-06-15T20:50:00.054-04:00

Well look at that: the cat isn't trying to kill me as originally thought when the act of cleaning my face almost sent me to the hospital. My bad on the accusation front because it turns out it's my daughter who is trying to do something to the cat and he was probably hiding from her when he made face washing deadly. And I'm not sure exactly what my daughter is up to but here's an example: Today