Mormon Mommy Blogs

Dear MMB:

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:43:00 +0000

Dear MMB:

So often I come away from church feeling bad about myself. Am I the only one? Are there any other women feeling SO overwhelmed - trying to do everything? Taking care of family, church callings, service, Visiting teaching, school, kids school, supporting our husbands... At the end of the day I'm left feeling exhausted and like I have no talents, I'm not worthy or I just don't measure up. Am I the only one that feels this way?

Help MMB, you're my only hope! (Not really. I've just always wanted to quote Star Wars...)

Thanks for such a wonderful forum for us to all come and feel excepted!

~Robin

Raise your hand if you have ever felt this way. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? We all know who it is that is making us feel this way, right? The trick is kicking that great deceiver out before he wrecks havoc on our self worth.

How do you do it?
How do you get rid of those thoughts?
What do you do when you find yourself starting to feel "less than"?
Is there a secret formula or haka that you chant?
Share your thoughts and ideas with us all!

Discussion Wednesday: Gratitude

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:01:00 +0000

Thanksgiving is in 23 days. (you're welcome)
It's the time of year where people start feeling grateful.
Grateful for family, friends, the gospel and things.

What do you do to feel gratitude?
Are there specific things you do personally to foster gratitude?
What about as a family?
Then further, how do you maintain the feelings of gratitude all year long?

General Conference Discussion - President Monson

Crazylandblog@gmail.com (Motherboard) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:39:00 +0000

I used to consider myself, patient, non-confrontational, and even a morning person . . . and then I had children. It’s hard to meet the new "real" you and learn to love her despite her weaknesses.

President Monson gave the talk “School Thy Feelings, O My Brother” during the Priesthood session of General Conference. I absolutely do not question his judgment on this, but I just want to mention that anyone who thinks anger management is largely a men’s issue has not spent much time in the mind of a stay-at-home mom.

I struggle with anger. I do not have temper tantrums. I do not hit my children, scream violently, or throw objects, but I get upset. And it is a challenge for me to let those feelings go so that I can move on with my day. During one period of great humility, I went to Borders and asked the information desk for a good book on Anger Management for mothers. The man eyed me suspiciously and probably wanted to push the red Child Protective Services button under his counter, so I hurried to explain that it wasn’t about violent anger, just angry feelings. Basically, I wanted to get past looking at my children with exorcism eyes. Anyway, enough about me . . . How does this talk speak to you?

“If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry.”

“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”

“May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say.”

It's a great talk. You can read it here, or watch it here or listen to it here.

Then come back and join in the discussion:

1. Do you have any "tricks" or strategies that help you to keep your anger under control rather than let it flare up?

2. The stories President Monson shared seem to imply that forgiveness is an important component of overcoming anger. Do you have any experiences or goals to share about forgiveness vs. anger?

3. President Monson mentioned several common triggers for anger: "It can come when things don’t turn out the way we want. It might be a reaction to something which is said of us or to us. We may experience it when people don’t behave the way we want them to behave. Perhaps it comes when we have to wait for something longer than we expected. We might feel angry when others can’t see things from our perspective. There seem to be countless possible reasons for anger." What are your triggers for anger, and how can recognizing them help you "choose to refrain from becoming angry"?

Crunch Time

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:07:00 +0000

The batteries for my MP3 player died 90 seconds into my walk this morning. I actually contemplated turning around and going home. I mean, walking without music? What on earth was I supposed to do?

I didn't turn around. I looked up and listened.

Usually when I am walking and listening to my tunes, my eyes are cast down... watching the road so I don't trip and break my leg. I am consumed with my music and oblivious to the world around me. This morning? I had nothing to occupy my brain except my thoughts.

I was astounded with how noisy it is at 6:30 in the morning. Usually all I hear are my various imaginary boyfriends singing to me... this morning I heard so many other things.

The crunch, crunch, crunch of my shoes on the gravel, and the jingling of bells from the necks of goats in the nearby pasture. The swishing of the horses tails, and their snorting at me as I passed by. There was the occasional whirring of the passing biker or the pounding feet of the jogger "passing on your right".

Crunch, crunch, crunch of my shoes as I heard the ba-donk ba-donk ba-donk of the cars on the interstate veering to far to the right and the whistle of the commuter train as it whizzed past. There was the mooing of a cow waking up, and the distant hum of an airplane overhead.

Crunch, crunch, crunch of my shoes as the roosters started to crow and the buzzing of a chainsaw sounded. I heard the Spanish being spoken by the construction workers and dogs barking. I heard the sprinklers giving the earth a drink and the rushing water in the creek.
The birds. My, how loud they are! They sing such beautiful songs, this early in the morning...

I saw the farmer changing his water, and throwing a stick for his dog to chase. I saw you leaving for work this morning, and starting your car. I saw you stumbling out to get your paper, all bleary eyed and still asleep. I saw you looking out your window at me, watching me huff & puff by, drinking your morning drink. I saw the sun starting to peek its golden rays over the mountains.

I found myself caught up in my thoughts. For those 30 minutes of my shoes crunching on the gravel, I could hear whatever I chose to hear and see whatever I chose to see. For those 30 minutes I could be that famous singer that I fantasized about when I listened to my MP3 player. I could be that amazing writer who everyone talks about or THAT kind of mother who has endless adventures with her children and spouse and is always a joy to be around. For those 30 minutes of crunch time, my mind could trick me into seeing, hearing or believing anything.

As those last rays of sun started to shine over the mountains, and I could see the end of my journey in sight... What did I choose?

I chose to believe in me. And to be happy.

~You can read more from motherboard on her blog Crazyland: Tales from the Motherboard.

*Are you interested in guest posting on MMB?
email us at mmbguestpost@gmail.com with your submissions.*

Sunday Devotional

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:26:00 +0000

Dear MMB

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 10:34:00 +0000

Dear MMB:

I would really like to get some ideas on what to do- - In my family, we have one spouse who goes to church with their 5 children. The other spouse wants nothing to do with the church. They have been baptized and went while in their youth, however now? They are totally uninterested... How do you raise 5 kids in this type of situation? How do you teach your children about being an eternal family, when we are not one? How do you live the gospel, have FHE and scripture study, and family prayers without ostracizing the non-practicing spouse? What can I do? Please help!

Thanks for all the hard work you put into MMB! It is the highlight of my mornings and I love not having to bookmark blogs anymore!

Thanks,

~Becky

OK Ladies! Lets put our thinking caps on, and offer support to Becky!

Are there any of you out there in similar situations?

How do you handle this?

What suggestions do you have?

What would YOU do and how would you feel?

Discussion Wednesday - Grocery Shopping

SweetMommyBingham@gmail.com (MomBabe) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

So I have a question for all of you.... How much do you spend on groceries? I spend about a million dollars every month. Okay, not really, but it feels like a lot. I just figured it out and I'm averaging about $30 a day on groceries for a family of 6. To break it down even more, that's $5 a day per person. This includes diapers and formula and toilet paper and everything. And while $30 a day doesn't SOUND so bad, that's $840 a month! A MONTH! I'm sure I could do much better.

HELP ME.

Wonder Woman. Have you seen her?

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 10:50:00 +0000

Cartoons are a weakness of mine. I love to watch them with my children. We have our favorite ones-- Sponge Bob; Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends; Phineas & Ferb; Jimmy Neutron and The Justice League. The Justice League is great because it has ALL the superheroes-- so you can get your superhero fix with just one show.

I have always been a Wonder Woman fan. I even dressed up like her for Halloween when I was a kid. My costume was awesome! It came complete with the lasso of truth, the crown she wears and the indestructible bracelets. I felt indestructible when I was in my costume . . . like I could accomplish anything I set my mind too. (thanks Mom for making it for me!)

I watched the TV show religiously-- Lynda Carter was fantastic as Wonder Woman. How many of us twirled, trying to change into her? I know I did.

When I was a kid, Wonder Woman was fighting the evil-doers-- saving us from ourselves. She lassoed people with her lasso of truth, and immediately everyone was honest. When she was around, there was no deception.

Today? Well. I think the term wonder woman has a taken a different tone.

You know the wonder woman I am talking about, right? The wonder woman who looks amazing all the time. She is the wonder woman whose home is never dirty, and is decorated not only to the nines, but those decorations change monthly. This version of wonder has children that never smart-mouth, fight with their siblings or throw fits. They can read by the age of four and are always clean. She is the PTA President, the neighborhood block captain, and the leader of the local women's organization. She volunteers for not only the week of scout camp, but girls camp too. She reads her scriptures daily, exercises religiously, and makes everything from scratch. One would never know she had seven kids--naturally-- because her belly is as flat as a 17 year old's, and her breasts are round and perky.

I tried for years after I was married and having my babies to be THAT wonder woman. But, my kids were fighting, my house was a mess, and my breasts were so not perky. I could hardly keep my head above water. How did our modern wonder woman do it all? I was mystified. I wanted to BE wonder woman, but it just wasn't happening.

It clicked with me, after my 3^rd baby, that I already was a wonder woman of sorts--- just not the one that Society was touting. I can not do it all, nor should I try. I will never be a fashion diva, wearing the latest greatest styles. My home will never be decorated monthly, and I will never be the high powered executive. That is not who I am, and that is OK.

I am Me, a Mother. I am raising little people to be their own version of super. I can teach my children about the lasso of truth, and the indestructible bracelet . . . it just will not be the way society wants.

I have been abundantly blessed with over-the-top levels of hormones in my home. I have three beautiful, talented, and smart daughters. When I look at my daughters I see the struggles they will be facing. I understand those struggles. I know that they will want to compare all their weaknesses to everyone else's strengths. I know that they will want to compare and contrast everyone to themselves
. . . and my beautiful, talented, smart daughters will think they are less than others.

I want my beautiful, talented, smart daughters to realize that they ARE, right now, the version of Wonder Woman from my youth. They inspire me to be better. They inspire me to not deceive and to be truthful. They do have those indestructible bracelets -- we all do -- the knowledge that God loves them and they have divine worth. If they sear that knowledge into their brains, into their hearts, then they will be indestructible and nothing will stop them.

I want my daughters to know that they do not have to be the Wonder Woman that society taunts them with. They can be whomever and whatever they choose. The world is there for their taking. I want them to know that they can be not only their version of Wonder Woman, but also Wonderful Women.

~You can read more from motherboard on her blog Crazyland: Tales from the Motherboard.

*Are you interested in guest posting on MMB?
email us at mmbguestpost@gmail.com with your submissions.*

General Conference Discussion- D. Todd Christofferson

Crazylandblog@gmail.com (Motherboard) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:56:00 +0000

This week we will discuss Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s talk, “Moral Discipline,” I don’t know if you saw this recent devotional by Elder Oaks, but I’ve been thinking a lot about how our society honors wickedness and belittles efforts for righteousness. Morality is the new minority, but Elder Christofferson gives us a call to battle.

“Moral discipline is the consistent exercise of agency to choose the right because it is right, even when it is hard.”

“Societies will struggle in vain to establish the common good until sin is denounced as sin…”

“Moral discipline is learned at home.”

“At a minimum, moral discipline will be of immense help to us as we deal with whatever stresses and challenges may come in a disintegrating society.”

PART ONE: STUDY THE TALK.

Elder Christofferson’s talk was delivered during the Sunday afternoon session of conference. You can read it here, or watch it here or listen to it here.

PART TWO: COME BACK HERE AND JOIN IN ON THE DISCUSSION OF ANY OR ALL OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. The discussion will be open throughout the week.

He tells a story about President James E. Faust's courage to denounce sin as sin when he was interviewing for a military promotion. Do you have any experiences to share where you, like President Faust, had the chance to speak out for truth even when it was difficult? What blessings came from it?
In the talk we studied last week, Elder Bednar encouraged us to make our choices more consistent with what we know, and Elder Christofferson now encourages us to do the same. It seems that the necessary element to get from knowing to doing is simply "discipline." What are ways that we can draw upon or even find the discipline we need to do what we know is right?
How can we help our children to understand this principle of moral discipline? Elder Christofferson says it is "learned at home," and it may be the only place it is learned. Our own example is imperative, but what are other ideas for helping children to understand the importance of "choosing the right because it is right, even when it is hard"?

Higher Ground

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:17:00 +0000

Summertime usually brings rain in our part of the world. Nearly every day, the clouds build on drafts of warm air, tension increasing exponentially with the heat of the day, until the air is so ponderously pregnant with unreleased moisture that the humidity becomes almost unbearable. Finally, the cumulus clouds burst, accompanied by brief but violent claps of thunder and the occasional lightning-struck power outage. Tension is released, damp heat is eased, and active children take a breather from strenuous outside play time.

I've lived here most of my life, with a brief hiatus from southern mountain living to attend college in Utah, then to accompany my husband to graduate school in Memphis and its requisite internships in east Tennessee, South Carolina and Charlotte, NC. These summer storms were an integral part of my experience growing up, and I missed them when I was gone. Now, I'm disappointed when some natural fluke of circumstance keeps our storms at bay. I need that excuse to sit and snuggle on the couch with my kids, to have a contemplative moment, to listen for an instant to the great evidence of God's love that is rain.

We moved into our house on May 14, just before the daily thundershower ritual gets into full swing. Our house was new, and we had to take care of all the new house things: install blinds, get a lawnmower, put in a mailbox.

Shortly after we moved in, I came home just as one of these wonderful summer storms burst. As I drove up to the mailbox, I noticed some movement on the ground, but attributed it to the swiftly falling raindrops that were quickly soaking the interior of my car, my left arm, and my hair. I reached out to open the mailbox and immediately recoiled from a sight I could not believe.

Our mailman had placed a small adhesive plastic sleeve on the inside of the mailbox door, into which he inserted a small business-card sized piece of paper inscribed with our last name. The plastic sleeve was bulging with hundreds, maybe thousands, of ant eggs. Tiny sugar ants streamed too and from my mailbox, marching up and down the post in perfectly precise military formation.

I left the mail and slammed the door to the mailbox, racing inside, eerily shaken by a bunch of insects a tiny fraction of my size.

Later, after the sun came out and turned the fallen rain into a steamy mist rising from the pavement of my driveway, I decided the ants could not have my mail. I purposefully strode outside, and when I opened the mailbox I nearly accused myself of having an acid trip right there in my driveway, because no evidence remained of either the ants or their eggs.

It took me a moment to realize what had happened: as soon as the storm dried up, they took their babies home and left my mailbox alone. I suddenly understood what they were doing. When it rains a bunch in a short period of time, their home gets flooded. And so they took their most precious and defenseless family members to the highest, driest place they could find: the little plastic sleeve in my mailbox.

That summer, I avoided my mailbox whenever it rained. I knew it would be in use by some pretty fierce mamas. I admired their tenacity from a distance -- it took an awesome group effort to preserve their progeny, but when faced with adversity, they did what they had to to survive.

We heard on the news last night of a woman who was arrested for trying to trade drugs for food. She took her two small children to a local barbecue restaurant, ordered them some peanut butter sandwiches, and then, since she had no money, tried to bribe the cashier with two Xanax pills. My heart nearly broke. She didn't order multiple racks of ribs and whole cherry pies. She ordered peanut butter sandwiches. I mourn for the lost innocence of her little ones -- but I understand what she was doing. If I can't feed them, I'll do what I have to do to help them.

Can you imagine the circumstances that must exist for her to have access to Xanax pills, but not peanut butter and jelly? Some awful combination of poor choices and bad circumstances are depriving her unaccountable children of the life that every kid deserves. I can't decide whether to be sad or angry. Maybe both.

We are all faced with difficult circumstances, especially in this unfavorable economic climate. We may have to do things we never thought we'd have to to take care of our families. I think of those ants carrying their eggs to my mailbox, and I envision my house surrounded by flood waters -- literal and figurative. I hope that I am strong enough to continually find higher ground to protect my babies from the encroaching tide of drowning, devastating filth that seeks to weaken and infiltrate the insulation from the world I seek to establish in my home. I hope I can always find a dry, cozy spot where the warmth and comfort of the Gospel will get us through the toughest of times.

~InkMom (as in I'm Not Crazy Mommy, except with a K instead of a C because I don't want to be IncMom) has been happily married to CPod since day one, which was just about 12 years ago. They have three little boys: G-Dog and ConMan are twins (they just turned 4), and Lil' MayDay is 2. She lives in beautiful western North Carolina, and loves it. She says she will never leave because she goes through separation anxiety when she thinks about residing some place outside of those mountains. She is a mom, a musician, a teacher, a bookkeeper, a writer, a housekeeper, a scullery maid, a thinker, a runner, a daughter and a sister . . . but you'll learn all that eventually if she keeps posting and you keep reading. Inkmom blogs at I'm (not) Crazy Mommy

Sunday Devotional

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 10:56:00 +0000

Dear MMB: Twitter me this

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:16:00 +0000

Dear MMB:

Loved your entry on how to link blog updates with Twitter & Facebook. Brilliant!

Along the same lines, I was wondering if you could write a post on a basic introduction of how to effectively use Twitter? With all the @, #, etc., it can get quite confusing – let alone not missing an update by anyone!

Everybody keeps talking about the awesome-ness of Twitter, but I feel out of the loop – probably because I feel a bit lost on it.

Cheers!
Jo

Well Jo, I have to admit that I am a twitter novice too. I had no idea how to answer your questions, so I asked the veteran, Jane from Seagull Fountain. She let it slip to me recently at a blogging conference we were both attending, that she is a twitter genius. She even made a presenatation at BYU on twitter and social networking. Who better to answer your questions that an expert?

Take it away, Jane.

Ah, Twitter. There are so many skeptics. But think of it this way -- where Facebook is great for connecting with old friends, Twitter is great for making new ones -- both for business-networking-type purposes and for friendship (and you can hook up your accounts so what you say on Twitter automatically goes on your Facebook status update too, or not).

There's a pretty vibrant Mommy Twitter scene (in Utah and around the world), and it's fun to check in for a few minutes here and there during the day and see what's on people's minds. Sometimes when I'm stuck for a word or need a recommendation, I turn to Twitter instead of Google, and the whole old-news thing about (especially stay-at-home-)moms using the Internet for some much-needed adult interaction during the day is doubly true for Twitter.

Twitter makes the world at once bigger and smaller. I met hilarious Charlotte (@latermom) on Twitter because she follows Stephanie (@sahans), who I met on Twitter and then bonded with at the South Jordan Chick-Fil-A and several local blogger events. Anyway, Charlotte (who I haven't met IRL yet) turns out to have been the college roommate of my friend Tara's (@WellRndedWoman) good friend Susan (@bbbforme). Charlotte lives in Maine, Stephanie and I live in Utah, and Tara and Susan live in Arizona. We talk to Natasha (@SomethingGirl) who lives in Canada, and Kirsty (@kirstyt) who lives in Australia.

During General Conference a couple weeks ago, 1400 members around the globe used the hashtag (keyword) #ldsconf to spread faith, doctrine, and good feeling. The church is pretty progressive about asking us to be a presence for good on the internet and in social media. Of course you should only do it if you enjoy it, and you shouldn't neglect your real life, but the friendships you make can become real, whether you meet at a Polynesian-sauce-fueled tweetup, or just dream of someday finding out whether Charlotte's six kids really are as crazy as they sometimes sound.

For some basic how-to's and links to other resources, check out the podcast and post on Twitter that I presented at BYU several months ago.

And to answer your specific questions:

@ = The marker of a Twitter handle. I'm @seagullfountain, so to respond to me or mention me, or to make sure that I see a tweet of yours, you'd include @seagullfountain somewhere in the tweet. If you put @seagullfountain at the very beginning, then only people who follow both you and I will see the tweet; if you put it anywhere else in your message, then everyone following you will see it.

# = The marker (hashtag) for a keyword. You can search Twitter (a search box is now on the Twitter sign-in page) for anything you're interested it. It's a good way to find people to follow. Say, for example you want to follow people who talk about their cats -- search for "cats" or "#cats." The # sign isn't actually necessary for the keyword recognition, but it lets other people know that you're talking about some proper thing (see the @ldsconf example), kind of like a boolean search term.

If you've used Facebook before, Twitter is simple. The most important thing is finding good people to follow and getting them to follow you back. I no longer automatically follow people back if I don't recognize their names, but whenever anyone responds to me (by using the @seagullfountain marker), I check out their profile and almost always start following them back. Twitter is a conversation, and the more you make real conversation, the funner it is.

Good luck, and let me know your handle when you join! (And if you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them!)

You can read more from Jane on her wildly famous blog, Seagull Fountain, or follow her witty tweets on Twitter-- @seagullfountain

We have some Questions... Let's see if you have the answers

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:06:00 +0000

As participants/readers of the MMB:

1) Would you be interested in attending/supporting an MMB version of BlogHer? Meaning, a 2 day conference type meet-n-greet event with sponsors, Key note speakers, break-out classes, food and fine entertainment? (I sounded like a commercial right there...)

2) How much would you be willing to pay for the event? The price of a one day ticket, or a whole package deal? Would you be interested in Hotel rates? When would you like to see it happen? Around General Conference Time? Women's Conference or Pioneer Day? What about National No Diet Day or Chocolate Chip Day? (those are true blue holidays!)

Tell us when you would be inclined to want to attend. (remembering that June/August is off limits--those are when the big dogs play!)

3) If you have a business would you be interested in participating? Either by being one of our sponsors OR where you could have a booth, hand out samples of your product etc on our "live blogging floor"?

4) What type of "Break-out" classes would you be interested in attending? Blog design? Blogging 101? Photography classes or writing classes? Tell us what you would like to learn.

Please leave your comments, suggestions and all hail praises in our comments! We want to hear what you want, and what you would enjoy! Then, we will try and make it happen.

Discussion Wednesday - Switching Gears

SweetMommyBingham@gmail.com (MomBabe) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

A big chunk of WHO I AM comes down to one little thing.

I'm a Mormon.

And I know that not everyone who reads my blog IS (Mormon, that is.)

So I use language and references that, as someone raised in an LDS home, would know.

Without bothering to explain it for everyone else.

I just don't have the time to do it, ya' know?

But sometimes, I think I'm coming awfully close to misrepresenting who we are as a whole.

I mean, I'm not particularly tactful, in real life, or on the blog.

And I have a wicked sense of humor.

So when I have to switch gears from snarky/funny to spiritual/religious, I have a hard time.

When is it appropriate to show that softer side?

But If Not . . .

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:02:00 +0000

Recently, I have been watching someone I love go through a very difficult thing. My heart aches for her, as we sit and talk, and run the "what if's" over as she struggles to make sense of her new reality.

As this trial for my loved one has unfolded, I have found myself reflecting on one of my favorite stories from the Old Testament, the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

I love this story because of three little words...

But if not...

The Three Amigos, as I lovingly call them (please don't thrust me down to hell for that one...) refuse to bow down to the King's idols. The King is angry, and tells his servants to make his fiery furnace seven times hotter than usual so he can burn these guys alive. The King mocks them, and says that if they didn't fall down and worship his idol properly, he would thrust them into the fiery furnace and they would burn to death. And really, who did they think would deliver them? Not their silly God. He, their King, was the one with all the power.

I love this next part...

My Three heroes say: " If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to ^adeliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king" "But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not ^aserve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up"

But if not...

Essentially they were saying that they know that God could deliver them from the Kings hands, but if not, they would never stop believing in their God, and they would never turn their hearts from Him.

At various times we are all thrown into "the fiery furnace" with things we wish the Lord would take away. Things that we would rather not have to deal with or even experience. Sometimes we can pray and pray and pray, and nothing seems to change. That fiery furnace, so to speak is still there. Our trials do not go away...

Some would find themselves wondering where God is? Why is he not answering my righteous desire? That's where the whole but if not business happens.

Sometimes we have to do hard things. We can go to church, read our scriptures, pray, and those hard things are still there, every morning waiting for us. No matter what we do, they just wont go away and we are still in that furnace.

That is when we turn to the but if not phrase... "Lord, I need you take this trial from me. I can't do this anymore. But if not, I will still be true and faithful to you." It's how we react in the but if not part of our lives that the Lord is interested in seeing. And I think, that's the hardest one to give.

I mean, who doesn't want to have their trials removed? I know I do. But if not, I will stand firm. It will be hard but I will not waiver. I know, just like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego did, that the Lord is perfectly capable of delivering us from our own personal "fiery furnaces". However, sometimes he doesn't. And the whole but if not part means that even if my crappy stuff is still here in the morning, I will be steadfast and immovable in my commitment to Christ.

Sometimes our faith is pushed to the very edge, and we have to rely on that but if not principal. We have to trust that even though things aren't turning out the way we want them to, God is still in control and aware of us. We know that Heavenly Father will not try us beyond what we can handle, and further, we know that these trials are what make us not only a better person, but also take us one step closer to being more like Him.

We have to have faith that God will deliver us from the trials of teenagers going astray... but if not...

We have to have faith that God will deliver us from the trials of sick children... but if not...

We have to have faith that God will help us sell our home... but if not...

We have to have faith that God will deliver us from a wayward spouse or a difficult marriage... but if not...

We have to have faith that God will deliver us from the trial of not being able to have children... But if not... We will still believe in God and we will still press forward in Faith.

That is the test that God has sent us here to perform. He wants to see what will happen when we are faced with that but if not part of our faith.

How are you doing?

You can read more posts by motherboard on her blog Crazyland: Tales from the Motherboard.

*Are you interested in guest posting on MMB?
email us at mmbguestpost@gmail.com with your submissions.*

General Conference Discussion

Crazylandblog@gmail.com (Motherboard) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:25:00 +0000

In an effort to focus on our shared doctrine and faith and to encourage each other in our efforts to live what we believe, we have started a new weekly feature here on the MMB. Each Monday we will invite you to study one of the most recent General Conference talks and participate in a discussion about applying the counsel in our lives. Here's how it works:

PART ONE: READ, WATCH OR LISTEN TO THE ASSIGNED GENERAL CONFERENCE TALK (THIS WEEK IT'S ELDER BEDNAR'S). You can find it here:

To read “More Diligent and Concerned at Home”

To watch or listen to “More Diligent and Concerned at Home”

Elder David A. Bednar, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, gave this talk, “More Diligent and Concerned at Home,” during the Saturday morning session of the October 2009 General Conference. He emphasized three important keys to achieving eternal goals in our families:

Express love— and show it.
Bear testimony— and live it.
Be consistent.

PART TWO: COME BACK HERE AND JOIN IN ON THE DISCUSSION OF ANY OR ALL OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. The discussion will be open throughout the week.

When Elder Bednar encourages us to express love and bear testimony to our families, he acknowledges that we might feel "unsure, awkward, or even perhaps a bit embarrassed." What ideas do you have that are ways to overcome those feelings and "both create and look for opportunities" to express love and bear testimony?
Several times in this talk, Elder Bednar encourages us to "consistently do more of what we know is right and become better." It is often easy to recognize the gap between what we know and what we do, and then feel guilty or discouraged and do nothing about it. What can you do to close that gap and move intentionally and hopefully towards living with more integrity?
Elder Bednar said: "Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable, But . . . [they] can lead to significant spiritual results." Do you have an experience or testimony to share about how the "seemingly small things" have made a positive difference in your home or family?

This feature is run by our newest, permanent feature writer-- Stephanie from Diapers and Divinity

Stephanie is a mom to three young children that have almost completely consumed her brain. With what is left of it, she likes to blog at Diapers and Divinity, study the gospel, and plan fantasy vacations that she never takes. She and her family live in the great white north part of the country, where her husband is attending law school and working full time. Stephanie is switching to first person now because that was getting awkward. I've had a full life with many great opportunities like education, mission, travel, and cool jobs, but I'm learning that this stage of life where I am now (which sometimes mistakenly feels a little bit like a plateau), will be the time that I look back on as the years of my greatest influence. And that's the faith that keeps me ticking. Chocolate and naps help too.

My Spiritual Track

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 07:03:00 +0000

A few months ago, I wrote an article about religion. It consisted on interviews I had with several people of different faiths. I interviewed a Messianic Jewish woman, a Catholic, a Protestant, and a Mormon. Each person I interviewed held a contentment in their respected religion. Upon completion of the article, I prayed I would have the same contentment. I held a longing for a peace about religion and struggled with which one of the two were greater, a relationship with our Heavenly Father or religion?

I was no stranger to religion. I was raised Catholic and Baptist, (my father was Catholic, my mother Baptist) and for five years I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses. After leaving the Witnesses, I spent four years trying to find the 'right' religion.

"Religion is man-made and not instituted by God," I told myself. I thought by visiting several churches and reading my Bible, I could teach my children what they needed to know. I wanted them to have a spiritual foundation, but I found it was more difficult not having a solid foundation of my own.

I briefly went back to the Catholic Church, finding some solitude of peace when I attended Mass. I still needed more scriptural knowledge, so my search for a home church continued. I found a little log cabin of a church that reminded me of the church I attended with my grandmother in Alabama. It was non-denominational, yet leaned towards Pentecostal. During the praise session, I was often moved to tears. I found myself wanting to gravitate towards others Christians, but something was still very much lacking in my soul.

Throughout my years, I have known and befriended a good amount of LDS people and used to joke that they were in my 'LDS Collection' of friends. It never seemed to fail that when I met someone I really liked and asked what church they attended, they'd tell me they were LDS.

I had the missionaries over to my house a few times over the years, but nothing they said ever resonated with me. I wasn't truly listening to what they had to say, because my mind (and heart) was completely closed to the notion of learning about Mormonism.

In March 2009, I had a strange and interesting dream. The dream haunted me and it was weeks before I told anyone the contents. In my dream, I was panicked because I was late arriving to something very important. I remember walking into a changing room and changing into a white jumpsuit. I remember going into a baptismal font and being baptized. Instead of feeling good about the baptism, I felt dread and overwhelming sadness. I remember in my dream looking out towards the people watching the baptism. All were smiling, but they were all strangers. My husband and my children were not in attendance. This dread caused me to question my decision. In my dream, a voice said to me that I would never have peace if I couldn't accept the gift and be happy. I needed to stop concentrating on the people who weren't there…but be joyous for GOD was there! I distinctly remember a tall man in the baptismal font motioning for me to walk towards him. I remember his smile and the way I felt when he baptized me. I can still hear the sound of the Spirit telling me I was not alone.

The dream was compelling and distorted, but the message was clear. However, I discounted the notion of joining the Mormon Church and took the dream to mean that I had to rely on God and not myself.

I spent the next few months devouring books about Jesus Christ and our Creator. I read my Bible and starting to work on the article about religion. While sitting at my kitchen table with my Bible opened, I asked God for direction. I remember seeing the letters: L D S in my mind and thought to myself that I never have given them a fair chance. I didn't really have anything to lose, nor did I believe my life would change so dramatically.

The two missionaries, Elder Bailey and Elder Bjorkman entered my home and it was as if I knew them both my entire life. There were no awkward silences between the three of us. I had made a promise to myself that I would be open to being taught, so I had already read The Book of Mormon and given up coffee…just to see if I could.

There were many instances during my study with Elder Bjorkman and Elder Bailey where I felt the Spirit. The most poignant moment was during my baptismal interview in which I had a sudden feeling of angst come over me. After a few seconds, a calming peace ran through my body and the words, "This is the beginning of your life, stay firm,"ran through my head.

The days before my baptism were difficult. My husband refused to allow my children to attend church and wouldn't allow the children to attend the baptism. He also chose not to attend.

As I walked down the baptismal font and I saw Elder Bjorkman, I realized all those times in which he looked familiar made sense. I remembered in my dream the person who had baptized me and it was him! When I asked him to baptize me, I didn't think anything of it…other than it just seemed right. I can't even articulate into words what that moment was like. It was a missing piece to a puzzle that finally came together to make perfect sense. I will never forget it as long as I live.

I've realized religion is not greater than the relationship we have with our Heavenly Father, but the right religion enhances our relationship. Opening my heart to the whispers of the Holy Spirit has given me what I always wanted: Contentment. While it hasn't been easy since my baptism, my world is chaotic and filled with adversity; there is still a peace and overwhelming contentment that never leaves me.

And it is with that...I know I'm on the right spiritual track.

Jaime Chase is a wife, mother of four and lives in Anchorage, Alaska. She is a writer and public speaker. She is currently studying to receive her Bachelor's Degree in Religion and Philosophy. She currently writes on her blog, Chase N Kids, and is working on her second book, a memoir about her life and religion.

Sunday Devotional

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:54:00 +0000

Discussion Wednesday - Candy

SweetMommyBingham@gmail.com (MomBabe) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

I love Halloween.

I don't love passing out candy.

I love trick or treating.

I love having my kids march up to your house and shout

"Twick or Tweat!"

at the top of their lungs.

But I turn off all the lights at my own house, shut the curtains, and have the TV on as low as possible.

Hypocritical? Yes.

Wrong? Maybe.

How do you do handle trick or treaters?

Guilt: The Motherload

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 07:28:00 +0000

I consider myself a practical woman. I don’t expect to be an all-encompassing superhero. I scoff at the idea of quilting my own bedding, growing and canning my own vegetables, keeping my home in magazine-ready condition, scrap-booking in any form that includes more than sliding photos into plastic pockets, making recipes with more than four or five ingredients, and teaching all my children to play classical musical instruments. Now I don’t scoff at most of these endeavors individually; in fact, I’ve dabbled in some of them and tried to learn new things. But the concept that I should be doing all of them (or even several of them) in my life in order to be a “whole” woman is absolutely preposterous. Holding yourself to a standard like that is emotional suicide.

However, I have a firm testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I want to be the best person I can be. Sometimes I look at my world, and the acquaintances I have, and other people near and far that I know and love, and I have a thousand ideas of things I wish I could do to help them– to do good deeds, to better fulfill my own responsibilities, callings, and commitments, to be a servant in the Christian sense, and to make the world a better place. And then I have days where feeding my children and picking up one room and restocking the toilet paper in all the bathrooms is all I get done. A lot of days are like that. But in the back of my mind is a long to-do list of things to be and deeds to carry out. And once they sit on that list for a while, they start to feel heavy to me. They gnaw at me. They turn into a feeling. They become guilt.

I want to make it clear that intellectually I know that’s not right. I know that my work with my family is the most important work I can do. But I struggle sometimes with realistic expectations about what else I should be accomplishing. It’s difficult to gauge how much of that is my own wishful thinking, how much of it is inspired direction from the Lord, and how much of it is simply my fears about what someone else might expect of me or how I might be judged by others. During my daily devotional time on Saturday (otherwise knows as a shower), I thought about this question and the thought that occurred to me and sort of clarified this issue for me is that the Lord does not expect more from me than what I have already covenanted with him– my simple promises that I made at baptism and when I renew those promises while taking the Sacrament or worshiping in the temple. He doesn’t hold me to a standard higher than that. I felt like this was a right answer and I had it on my mind most of the day.

That night, I attended a fireside by Sister Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President. She was in town doing some training and invited all the local women to come and meet with her in the evening. I love Sister Beck; her messages have inspired me on several occasions. She shared her testimony at the beginning of the meeting and then opened up the rest of the meeting for questions and answers. Even though I felt like I had received an answer to my question that morning in the shower, I kept feeling prompted to ask my question out loud. So toward the end of the meeting, I barely raised my hand in front of my chest, her eyes fixed on me and she called on me. My best guess is that there were an excess of 2,000 women in attendance. An usher wriggled his way through the crowd and brought me the microphone.

“You’ve touched on this a little bit in some of your other answers, how we go to church and read scriptures and learn so many things we can do, and sometimes it’s overwhelming. I would like your insight on the role of guilt in an LDS woman’s life. I know there is good guilt and bad guilt, but what role should guilt play and what role should it not play?”

I want to share some of her answers. Part of it was in direct response to my question, and part of it came up throughout the rest of the meeting, but they all gave me greater clarity and direction, and feeling the Spirit as she shared these things confirmed for me that God was behind this advice.

Any thought that tells you “You are not good enough” is from Satan. If the thought tells you “You can do better, and I’ll help you,” it is from Heavenly Father.
There will never be enough of you to do all your heart wants to do.
Pray, eliminate your distractions, and follow the Spirit.
We impose things on ourselves that the Lord would never impose.
Be an example of joyful gospel living.
Beg for miracles every morning. Recognize and give thanks for them every night.
Navigate this experience you’ve been given with dignity, faith, hope and charity.
She recommended a three-column to-do list every day: #1) The essentials (short list of things that are eternally important: Pray, read scriptures, maybe some days the list will include temple or service or family time), #2) Should do (feed children, clean clothes, go to work, etc.), #3) Nice to do (wish list). Whatever you do, make sure the essentials happen, and work hard on your should list, and you’ll be surprised how often you get around to things on your “nice to do” list. She also said that women cannot work all three shifts in a day. We can do one well, one pretty well, and we need one shift to rest and take care of ourselves. She recommended deciding which shift was the most important time of the day when we need to be at our very best (for her it was the afternoon into the evening when kids came home from school and prepared for bed, etc.), and then use the other shifts to help us prepare for and get ready for the important shift (maybe prepare dinner in the morning, rest well at night, etc.).
Women are leaders. “Influence is ultimate leadership.”

Anyway, I walked away from that meeting with a greater understanding of how much good simply doing the essentials in our life can do, and does do. When we do them, we ARE changing the world for good. I also sensed that God is much more proud of what we ARE doing than he is worried about what we’re NOT doing. And I also learned (again) that I need to pray harder and more sincerely to get specific direction each day, and to let the Spirit help me navigate my priorities. I felt the confirmation that He will help me with that if I give him the opportunity. And I learned to give myself permission to ignore the guilt and embrace the important accomplishment of simple obedience. Guilt is totally overrated.

Stephanie is a mom to three young children that have almost completely consumed her brain. With what is left of it, she likes to blog at Diapers and Divinity, study the gospel, and plan fantasy vacations that she never takes. She and her family live in the great white north part of the country, where her husband is attending law school and working full time. Stephanie is switching to first person now because that was getting awkward. I've had a full life with many great opportunities like education, mission, travel, and cool jobs, but I'm learning that this stage of life where I am now (which sometimes mistakenly feels a little bit like a plateau), will be the time that I look back on as the years of my greatest influence. And that's the faith that keeps me ticking. Chocolate and naps help too.

Sunday Devotional

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 10:49:00 +0000

Ride for the children

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:16:00 +0000

Come join “Ride for the Children” on October 10^th 2009 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at This is the Place Heritage Park in Salt Lake City, Utah. Ride for the Children will benefit World Peace Parents Foundation, a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt public charity.

Ride for the Children is a Bikers Family Festival! That’s right…a family festival for bikers of all ages, sizes and shapes. Here is what you will enjoy:

Unique biking events for all ages.
A bike parade
A family bike ride in, through and around the Heritage Park Pioneer Village.
Competitive bike races
A biking treasure hunt
Giant blow up jumping castles and slides.
Live music and Entertainment
Food and drink provided by Red Robin
A benefit raffle.
Heritage Park train ride
A tricycle obstacle course for the little ones (under age four)
Four hours of action-packed family fun with or without your favorite bike. For the serious cyclist this is a time to share the love of biking with your family.

Admission only $5 for parking; Entry fees for access to all biking contests is $8. Enjoy the train ride and carnival blow ups all day for $10. Entertainment is included in your admission. Food sold per item. Children under 3 are free.

Please come and spend time having fun with family and friends, get a tax deduction, and help in the effort to empower The Family at our “Ride for the Children” event!

For more information visit our website at http://www.beginwiththechildren.com

“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children [and] we must become the change we want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

Life is a Delicate Balancing Act

SweetMommyBingham@gmail.com (MomBabe) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Balance: \ˈba-lən(t)s\ noun- an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements; mental and emotional steadiness; a state of equilibrium.

*****

Life is a balancing act. I know that, you know that, we all know that. But knowing is completely different from doing. I KNOW I should prioritize. I KNOW I should do A and B before I get to C, but most days, I just want C.

I have two kinds of days. I have days when I'm completely overwhelmed with all I have to do; and I have days when I'm underwhelmed and feel like there's nothing to do. (and trust me, while the latter sounds nice in theory, it's really not)

My everyday life is pretty busy. I have certain obligations that I have to take care of. (obligations=children) but I struggle with feelings of guilt, and depression, and confidence. There's no way I can do everything that is expected of me. And if I were to give into the world's view of a perfect mom, I'd have even more things to feel guilty about.

Balancing "life" is something I struggle with. I have a constant internal debate about whether or not I'm spending enough time with my kids. Am I spending enough time on my husband? Am I spending enough time on me? Am I spending too much time on me? Is my house clean enough, are my children nice enough, are they happy enough?

The debate is endless. I have a hard time achieving the balance that my life needs. I have days when I'm completely overwhelmed with all I have to do. Doctor's appointments, dental appointments, playdates... and I don't foresee it getting LESS busy as my kids get older. No, I think it's going to get busiER. Oh my life, school buses? school events? PTA? GAH! what's a woman to do?

So I've been trying to get together a game plan of how I'm going to balance life. My list? long. giant. horrendous. enormous. HUGE.

And I've gone over and over it. I've edited it. I've taken out "extras" and edited out the unnecessary things. But it's still approximately 87 miles long. and I struggle.

I struggle with the guilt of spending time on the computer instead of outside with my children. I struggle with the guilt of cleaning the house instead of taking them to the park. I worry that I don't put them first, but then I think, of course I put them first! But that little voice in the back of my head says, "really? you think so?"

I believe that there are a top three when it comes to priorities. Me, my family, and the Lord. I have obligations to all these people. So, how do I make the time? Where does the balance come in? I firmly believe that if I put the Lord first, that everything else will be taken care of.

So, why haven't I been doing it? Why haven't I been putting Him first?

I know I should read the scriptures everyday. I know that we should have family scripture study time. I should be teaching my children how to be like Jesus by example, not just with words. And if I'm the example, how well am I doing?

I admit, we don't get family scripture time in every day. Sometimes, it's all we can do to make it to church on Sunday. We have Family Home Evening every week. We have family prayer, but in this day and age, is it enough?

(It's now time for the cheesy cliched analogy...) I can't stand still. When I think I have everything under control, when I start getting too sure of myself, that's when life knocks me on my rear. I need to remember to keep moving forward. To keep striving for balance. I'll never have it if I am just complacent.

Discussion Wednesday - Eating Habits

SweetMommyBingham@gmail.com (MomBabe) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +0000

How do you feed yourself and your family?

Do you try to have mainly vegetables?

Or do you have meat at every meal?

Do you have a garden?

If not, how much do you spend on produce?

Are you trying to instill good eating habits in your children?

Or even in yourself?

Do you make everything from scratch?

Or do you specialize in faux-made dinners?

How do you feed your family?

Lucy

mormonmommyblogs@gmail.com (Mormon Mommy Blogs) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:57:00 +0000

Shawni Eyre Pothier is the mother of five children between the ages of eleven and two. She received a bachelor’s degree from Brigham Young University and is an accomplished writer, speaker and presenter. Shawni is also in demand as a photographer specializing in images of children and families. You can read more from Shawni on her blog Life

Nothing can really prepare you to get a phone call from the geneticist telling you that your child has a really rare syndrome that will change her life, and that of your family's forever...even if you and your husband already knew it in your hearts.

And as much as we kind of knew it was coming, I do wish the geneticist would have at least told me to sit down, or find a quiet place...I mean, she MUST have been able to hear the chaos going on around me on a Friday afternoon when my house was filled with the whole neighborhood.

I'll never quite forget standing there folding laundry trying to squelch the tears that were burning to come out amidst my kids and their friends asking intermittently for a snack, help with their roller blades, wanting a drink, etc. I know kids have an automatic button that tells them they need to start talking to an adult the second she gets on the phone and not give up (at least mine do), and usually I can multi-task. But not that Friday. Not while I felt like my whole world was suddenly swimming around me.

Our two-year-old, Lucy, has worried us from the time she was nine weeks old and was still not smiling. I mean, we have four older children who went through all the steps: smiling, gurgling, cooing, laughing…but not Lu. Lucy was serious. She was slow to crawl. And she had no intention of walking until she neared her second birthday. There was no doubt about it: something was different.

So, after myriads of doctor appointments, unanswered questions, and mixed emotions, we finally found a geneticist who could help. She suspected a couple different syndromes…the tests were conducted, and our answer came in that dreaded phone call on that Friday afternoon.

Lucy has a syndrome called "Bardet-Biedl." It's extremely rare, and we are just coming to grips with the fact that we can't go in and sit down with the geneticist and get a concrete run-down of all the things that will change in life. It's different for every child. But most of the children diagnosed have health problems, are overweight all their lives, and the most heartbreaking thing for us is that the majority of these kids lose their vision. Most of them become legally blind by the time they are teenagers, sometimes as early as age eight or nine.

The geneticist had brought up a few different possibilities before this one. Each one she mentioned before I mentally checked it off my list right after I heard the symptoms. I knew Lucy didn't' have them. But when she mentioned this one we started to worry. It matched Lucy.

I never looked it up. I felt that the more I pushed it away, the more likely it would be that it would just disappear. I didn't want to know the symptoms. I didn't want it to become reality. To me it felt like it just couldn't happen to Lucy if we didn't know anything about it.

But Dave knew we definitely needed to test her for it. He had a bad feeling about it right from the start. And as much as I tried to bounce that bad feeling off of me, it gradually seeped in, little by little.

One early morning Dave came back into our room completely ashen-faced after he had checked on Lucy who had been crying. The sun still wasn't up and it was still pretty dim in Lucy's room. He claimed she couldn't see him. (Night vision is the first thing to go with Bardet-Biedl.) I rolled over and sleepily told him he was just too worried about the whole thing...he must be reading into things. Lucy is just too stubborn. She just didn't want to look at him.

But two weeks later on another early morning the same thing happened to me. The exact same thing. And the worry started seeping deeper. By that afternoon, though, I was telling myself the same thing I told Dave. Lucy's just so stubborn. She just didn't want to look at me. She must have just been tired. Surely she was just in a funny mood.

The next week we were at Dave's brother's house. We were gathering the kids to head home that night and when I came out Dave and Max were talking to Lu in the shadow of our car. When I got closer Max told me Lucy couldn't see. I smiled and told him sure she could. But I knew he was right as soon as I looked at her. She was looking through us. She looked just like a blind person. She reached to show us where our noses were when we asked but she missed...by a long shot. Her eyes were just as beautiful as ever...but they couldn't see us. They couldn't see a thing.

The ride home was slow motion. It was like Dave and I were sitting in a bubble in the front seat. We didn't talk...just sat with tears in our eyes thinking what this meant. It was like the commotion and noise of all the kids in the back turned swirly and far away...and completely muted as we sat thinking about Lu.

So, Lucy fit into what this syndrome outlined. Now we just had to wait for the geneticist to tell us what we already knew.

Though we don't know so much of what we will eventually learn about this syndrome, we do know with all our hearts that we adore this child. Each of us in our family could absolutely eat her up. She is so endearing and her smile (that was slow to come when she was little) melts our hearts every time she throws it at us...which is a lot. And we're so grateful for that. We're so grateful that although she may learn things a little slowly, she'll still have her mental capacities. We're so grateful she can walk and she can breathe easily and she can throw out hugs and kisses like nobody's business. We are so thankful that only one in five of our kids has to deal with this (apparently each of them had a 30% chance to have this syndrome with us as their parents). Although this has hit us hard, we know it could be something much, much worse, and we are so thankful that it’s not.

Dave and I are determined to become experts on Bardet-Biedl and to learn everything we possibly can and to help Lucy progress in every way she can. I have loved watching Dave come home each night and work with her on various things. I have loved watching the kids work with her, hearing them pray for her (their bowed heads sometimes coming up with teary eyes), listening to them talk about her.

One thing's for sure: we couldn't be more thankful to have this little girl in our family. We feel like we have been blessed and prepared each step of the way. And we feel like she makes our family whole in so many ways.

Love you Lu.

Shawni and her mother, Linda Eyre, wrote a book on motherhood shortly before Lucy was diagnosed with her syndrome. In honor of Lucy and the wonderful resources they have found that support children that deal with issues of vision loss, Linda and Shawni have decided to donate a portion of the book proceeds to the Foundation for Fighting Blindness and to the Foundation for Blind Children…wonderful organizations that help hundreds of thousands of individuals with vision problems. For more information please click here.