tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5430551647649189542012-02-10T23:14:52.601ZMichael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comBlogger1382125MoneyIsTheWayhttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-80674248710861674112012-02-10T13:12:00.004Z2012-02-10T21:48:52.852Z2012-02-10T21:48:52.852Z

I could be halfway to paradise. I wouldn't even know it in this hell. To wait for love is just to waste your life away.This blog is a hell that no one understands. I should write those songs. All love songs - because I'm quite a romantic guy, really.I'm not waiting until Valentine's Day. I live by my own rules. So here's a melancholic Burt Bacharach classic for my angel.Oh, and a blast from the

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-28089816486551282932012-02-09T16:34:00.003Z2012-02-10T08:55:53.819Z2012-02-10T08:55:53.819Z

I've been speaking to Stephen Hester, chief executive of Royal Bank of Scotland - as if you didn't know. What, do you live in a cave?This is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, you're an animal. (Well, thanks, Stephen. That's a great way to start off.) Oh, don't get upset. You know what I mean. You're like me. (You're an animal?) Yeah. A commercial animal. I'm an animal for the burning, and money

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-58120962467786394992012-02-09T11:47:00.001Z2012-02-09T11:51:31.432Z2012-02-09T11:51:31.432Z

Oh. "The Hartford". Yes. Whatever the fuck that is. Well, my intern tells me it's one of the biggest insurers in the US of A: The Hartford Financial Services Group - if you can imagine that. (Can you imagine? Ha! It's a funny old world.) And Liam McGee is the chief executive. Our John had a go at him yesterday. Really put the boot in. And I don't even have a fucking intern. Let's have it right.

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-8526686115249380512012-02-08T11:13:00.003Z2012-02-10T23:14:52.607Z2012-02-10T23:14:52.607Z

Atwater Capital is/was a hedge fund founded by Lee Pollock and Kris Green. I wonder if they're having a closing down sale. There might be some cheap money on offer. It's unlikely though. Lee and Kris will probably return any money to investors. That's what normally happens in these situations.It's a sad time, but I think the guys will move on from this and become successful somewhere else. Hedge

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-35380732661039875962012-02-07T15:44:00.004Z2012-02-07T16:09:57.512Z2012-02-07T16:09:57.512Z

That's straight from the horse's mouth, that is: my dear friend and fellow financial shaman and UBS investment banking boss, ladies and gentlemen, Mr Carsten Kengeter.Yes, indeed. [Oh no, not "indeed"! I'm just hoping it's not the word du jour. That would fucking finish me!] Er, Carsten phoned me a couple of hours ago, angry, totally upset. Why? 'Oh, why?!' Well, dear reader(s), read what he said

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-24558513359675680872012-02-07T11:18:00.000Z2012-02-07T11:21:01.169Z2012-02-07T11:21:01.169Z

A new asset management thing, this Coherence Capital Partners, and Sal Naro is the chief executive. He's such a great guy.So, Sal Naro, he phoned me yesterday, and he said: 'Mr Fowke, sir, Coherence Capital Partners seeks to exploit opportunities in bonds, loans, CDS, index and structured products across the fixed income markets. Coherence Capital expects to generate returns utilizing capital

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-4242359873835559522012-02-06T11:01:00.002Z2012-02-06T11:33:37.294Z2012-02-06T11:33:37.294Z

The dead shark, the FSA, says it, in some consumer awareness survey - which I have absolutely no desire to take a look at because I am aloof from such things. Is this the whole truth though? Who cares?! Not I! And not you? Will we listen to a dead shark that swims through the oceans of our minds as if it were still alive? Is that what we've been reduced to? Are we sad enough? Is this where the

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-5884270861026736452012-02-03T11:21:00.003Z2012-02-06T13:02:10.045Z2012-02-06T13:02:10.045Z

Take a look at this absolute nonsense. Absolute nonsense, I say! Mr Philip Pearson manages the GLG Technology Equity fund. Well, this absurd man has got the idea in his head that Facebook is somehow undervalued. He probably imagines that it's worth a trillion dollars. Ha! Oh, let me say it again (with rather less respect): has Phil ever been on Facebook? I've got some loose change in my pocket.

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-86232160677408781452012-02-02T17:15:00.002Z2012-02-02T17:18:24.271Z2012-02-02T17:18:24.271Z

All over the walls, amazingly. And there are about fifty crucifixes placed at strategic points. He's not in any danger though. Well, I mean, he won't be, unless he talks. Is he stupid/mad/reckless enough to write a book about his time as Goldman's PR chief?It'll come as no surprise to you that Lloyd has been on the phone to me. This is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, great f**king news about

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-43902150678227298822012-02-02T12:28:00.005Z2012-02-02T14:19:17.551Z2012-02-02T14:19:17.551Z

Ah, I just love happy endings. I'm glad Lloyd and Lee were able to kiss and make up. Well, after the razors, of course. It could have been worse, far worse. We all know what an animal that Viniar is. I mean, Viniar didn't get the contract - which was cancelled anyway - but when Lee went to New York he had to let all the executives slash at him, and Viniar was out of control by all accounts.

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-19340099248613767412012-02-01T17:00:00.001Z2012-02-01T17:02:21.121Z2012-02-01T17:02:21.121Z

Oh, don't worry, I'm not actually going to write on this subject. I just wanted a crazy title. But what would I do? Well, during the day I'd get a bit of kip in my coffin. Then in the night I'd go out looking for women to bite. So, nothing out of the ordinary, really. Basically, I can't think of anything to write about.I'm listening to Japan's Exorcising Ghosts. It's decent stuff, but my main

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-71439104423407475062012-02-01T12:10:00.001Z2012-02-01T12:13:02.683Z2012-02-01T12:13:02.683Z

Michael Fowke says: 'Let's strip ALL the bankers of everything they have. Let's take away their honours, their bonuses, their salaries, their houses, their cars, their nice suits, their watches, their wives, their husbands (eh?), their girlfriends, their boyfriends (whatever), and even their children. Then we can all live in North Korea and fucking starve to death.'Michael ... Oh, me. I'm Michael

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-76691329438139583282012-01-31T15:13:00.003Z2012-01-31T17:25:17.906Z2012-01-31T17:25:17.906Z

Cheese and onion rolls. (Like sausage rolls for vegetarians.) Crisps. Yoghurt. A can of coke. None of that diet muck. I'm still depressed, and a bit angry. Charlie's chakras? Oh, Charles Kirwan-Taylor won't have any fucking chakras by the time I've finished with him! Remember when I stopped them whirling? That was nothing.The last post of the month. I haven't been too literary this year - yet. I

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-58666269331299292712012-01-31T11:54:00.002Z2012-01-31T11:57:56.101Z2012-01-31T11:57:56.101Z

And I don't even care, so I don't know why I'm using the exclamation marks. All I know is that it's bad news for Charlie's aura and his chakras.I tried my best to help these people. Charlie gave me his word of honour that he wouldn't leave RAB Capital. But then so did Stephen Couttie.I'm not speaking to them, any of them. Michael Alen-Buckley phoned me a couple of hours ago. I put the phone down

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-6269359270845778792012-01-30T12:19:00.001Z2012-01-30T12:20:55.541Z2012-01-30T12:20:55.541Z

Michael Fowke says: 'Go and get a job in a fucking hedge fund, Stephen, if you want to earn millions and millions and millions of pounds.'I'm Michael Fowke, by the way, the world's foremost financial shaman. I'm the author of this blog, but I guess you know that.This Stephen Hester, I spent a couple of days in the desert with him when he first became chief executive of Royal Bank of Scotland. I

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-77715648927231326922012-01-29T15:43:00.012Z2012-02-06T13:05:17.146Z2012-02-06T13:05:17.146Z

There was a great drama on BBC Four last week about David Bailey, We'll Take Manhattan. Hopefully, the BBC will show it again so I can record it.It cheered me up and depressed me. Bailey is someone I can relate to. We have the same hero, Picasso.I don't want to say any more than that.Except this: I know I've got to sort myself out. Depression is a waste of life. If I could overcome my sense of

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-5670783804651054472012-01-27T11:44:00.000Z2012-01-27T11:46:12.432Z2012-01-27T11:46:12.432Z

Isn't it amazing, some of the stuff that goes on? This nutty Philippe Gougenheim character is supposed to be the big boss of hedge funds at Unigestion. But that's not good enough for him, oh no. (No!) Yes, he's running away to start his own hedge fund, this "Glasnost" whatever. Philippe wants to be open and transparent and all liquid - personally, I'm saying/writing. Forget about the hedge fund (

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-19151497625938192482012-01-26T12:17:00.003Z2012-01-26T12:25:42.783Z2012-01-26T12:25:42.783Z

Yesterday. Just decided. Just like that. 'Oh, what shall we do today? I know, let's fine Einhorn £7.2 million. We need some new carpets.' Absolutely outrageous!'On 9 June 2009, Einhorn was a party to a telephone conference in which it was disclosed to him by a corporate broker acting on behalf of Punch Taverns Plc that Punch was at an advanced stage of the process towards a significant equity

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-36557190294447269772012-01-25T17:13:00.001Z2012-01-25T17:16:22.865Z2012-01-25T17:16:22.865Z

And he's just resigned from Fortress Investment Group, where he was the chief executive - of all things! Bloody hell! I'm trying to concentrate on writing about finance here while dealing with all kinds of nonsense. There are literally morons shouting in the street outside my window. There is a cat screeching. (Do cats screech? Maybe it's howling.) Not my cat, thank God. I hate cats. However, I

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-74543018109498308492012-01-25T11:25:00.003Z2012-01-25T11:34:08.916Z2012-01-25T11:34:08.916Z

Well, he phoned me. I'm not saying he called my name. I'm not saying I heard my name on the wind all the way from New York. That would be fucking ridiculous and I'm surprised you fell for it. Do you believe everything I tell you?No, he phoned me, late last night, out of the blue. This is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, how you doing, boy? (What do you want, Lloyd? Who have I got to hit now?)

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-81565627039960357582012-01-23T13:35:00.006Z2012-01-24T07:25:32.678Z2012-01-24T07:25:32.678Z

And I have to agree with him. Iain Stewart is the manager of Newton Investment Management's Newton Real Return fund, by the way. I only wish I had enough money to buy gold. I'm investing in the next best thing: baked beans. I have fifty tins now. I reckon that when Western civilization collapses I'll be able to trade these beans in for fifty houses. Not that I'll need fifty houses. I'll only need

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-14502756547892058092012-01-20T17:50:00.004Z2012-01-20T20:20:59.415Z2012-01-20T20:20:59.415Z

There's no subject, and no pain. 'What?!' Oh, I wish! And no fears, and no troubles, ha, really, nothing to worry about? In my dreams! I'm trapped, a prisoner, a monkey, a fly. I'm stuck, a fly with intelligence, in jam, almost as bad as the ones I despise, those flies without intelligence. The jam of cold reality, it is. I can't escape my consciousness, can I? And my consciousness can't escape

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-58625429617657808682012-01-19T12:15:00.001Z2012-01-19T12:18:13.024Z2012-01-19T12:18:13.024Z

Anyone else? Yes. Spyridion Adondakis, Jesse Tortora, and Sandeep Goyal. All charged yesterday in America. They've been accused of insider trading. I don't know all the details. I don't have an intern, so what do you expect? The truth is, I'm not interested in all the details. I have problems in my life that I'm trying to deal with, and you want me to focus my attention on some guys I've never

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-12757053170834765992012-01-18T16:04:00.003Z2012-01-18T19:16:06.287Z2012-01-18T19:16:06.287Z

It's a smart move. I think dealing with all those cold earth wanderers at Man Group has worn him out. They don't have a mystical bone in their body(s?), while my dear friend Noam has loads. He's well out of it! He's moved to a non-executive role, whatever that means. [It means he's now chairman of the company's interest in the US - my intern.] I don't have an intern! Apologies for that. Which

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-543055164764918954.post-55649554937619237622012-01-18T10:56:00.003Z2012-01-18T11:02:08.997Z2012-01-18T11:02:08.997Z

There's always some - why wasn't I told sooner? Actually, why wasn't I told full stop? [I need a new intern.] Oh, it doesn't matter, I suppose. Those poor souls over at Bloomberg have all the details. It's a new hedge fund. (Surprise, surprise.) Based in Chicago, of all places. It's called Anchor Bolt Capital, of all things. (As you might have guessed, or maybe you saw the title of this post, or

Michael Fowkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01256575427122383710noreply@blogger.com