Good? Bad? Yummy!

In toddler food land, that of macaroni and cheese, hot dogs and chicken nuggets, parents often find themselves stressed regarding their child’s food intake. It’s hard enough to get your child to eat, let alone find a balance to be the force of good vs. junk food.

For parents of children with food allergies or other dietary restrictions, meeting the Food Pyramid standards can be even harder.

Below are some great (and reputable sites) that will help you determine how much your little one should be eating. It includes  a great recipe resource guide to help parents of picky eaters.

5 sites for advice on getting toddlers to eat, and eat well

• Daily nutritional requirements for toddler recommendations by  a Registered Dietitian for iVillage Parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpnutrition/0,,3b1k,00.html
  
• Key recommendations for nutrition in toddlers from the American Family Physicians Website (see great chart a bit down the page)
  AAFP.org/afp/2006/1101/p1527.html
• A roundup of research on obesity in kids by the Maternal and Child health library of Georgetown Univ.
  Mchlibrary.info/KnowledgePaths/kp_overweight.html
• Advice on getting some variety in your toddler’s diet from Kidshealth
  Kidshealth.org/parent/food/general/toddler_food.html
  
• Healthy recipes for kids from Kids Heath, including those with dietary restrictions.
  http://kidshealth.org/kid/recipes/index.html

Good luck!

Photo courtesy of Flickr Commons Chapaghetti by Josepher

P.S. Don’t forget to see other posts (and chart) about the  Food Pyramid For Toddlers.

Very Quick Update

Leanne Clark responded to my post, Now I’m Making my kids fat,” by tweeting: Can’t we stop beating up on moms? Dads work, too! RT @MomsToWork And now I’m making my kids fat by working, says study. ”

She’s right.

Why don’t we see headlines like this?

Working Dads Make Kids Sick: Children of Dads with flexible work hours are healthier and happier.

You can read more from  Leanne Clark on working mom guilt and challenging stereotypes at Careerlifeconnection.com

Read, sing, dance with this video, Gotta Keep Reading with your little and big kids.

Students and faculty Ocoee Middle School in Florida made the video to promote reading — changing the lyrics to a song by the Black-Eyed Peas.

Oprah Winfrey filmed a segment of her show on the school’s grounds, and announced that she and Target would pay for a “wall-to-wall” makeover of the school library, including new furniture, new computers and 2,000 books, reported the Orlando  Sentinel.

They managed to get almost 1,700 kids pumped up about something you know I love,” Winfrey said.

Fabulous.

Are you a mom looking to get back to work? Changing jobs? Twitter is a goldmine if you can weed out the tweat from the twaff  … oops, the wheat from the chaff.

We asked Katrina Kibben, Monster.com’s social media ninja, for her top Twitter people to follow to get you back to work:

For Twitter career advice and resume tips

For someone who hasn’t looked for a job recently, it’s hard to figure out what to do and where to start. There are a ton of details to consider: resumes, cover letters, interviews, etc., but where should you look?

With 50 million tweets sent per day, there’s a lot of information floating around via Twitter about everything from coffee to careers.

How can you uncover great career advice through all that noise?

To get started, here are some top career experts and Web sites that provide engaging, interesting, and thought-provoking job search advice via their Twitter feeds.  Start to follow these job search and career advice experts:

1. @JobHuntOrg- Susan Joyce is the woman behind this massive database of career information. Her Tweets cover the entire landscape of career content, from cover letters to accepting offers.
2. @Keppie_Careers and @ValueIntoWords - Miriam and Jacqui bring unique perceptions to career advice. They have also started a group of career advice experts called the #careercollective.
3. @LauraLabovich- Laura is a former recruiter from Walt Disney World and brings a wealth of “behind the scenes” experience to her articles and Tweets.
4. @Louise-Fletcher -  Louise is a hysterical, creative resume writer with unique real world experience that will make you laugh, then think, and then update your resume.
5. @MonsterCareers- This Twitter feed is focused on job seekers and combines the vast career knowledge and resources of Monster and the best of the web into an easy to follow feed. (Disclosure: Katrina is one of the “voices” behind this account for Monster.com. You can follow her at @KatrinaKibben).

Who do you follow on Twitter for advice? Tell us to win $25 gift certificate from Barnes and Noble

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter for Job Search and Career Advice? Do you use the hashtags? #jobsearch #career #advice

Win a $25 gift certificate in three easy steps by:

1. Enter the name of your favorite Twitter account for job advice below or tell us how you’ve got a job via Twitter.

2. Tweet your recommendation copying @MomstoWork and @KatrinaKibben.

3. Come back to visit. MomstoWork will draw a lucky winner out of a virtual hat a week from today to win a $25 Barnes and Noble gift certificate.  Sorry we only have one.

Photo of Ninja Mummy via FlickR creative commons license by  Team Dalog.

Children whose mothers work part-time are less likely to be overweight than children whose moms are in full-time work or not in the workforce, according to new Australian research.

The study looked at the impact of mothers’ hours of paid work on children’s lifestyle and weight at ages 4-5 years and 6-7 years, using data from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children (an amazing study by the way.)

The study found children whose mothers worked part-time were less likely to be overweight, watched less TV, ate less junk food and were more physically active than children whose mothers were working full-time or at home full-time.

You can read more about the study by downloading a press release from  The Murdoch Childrens Research Institute, in collaboration with the University of New England and the Australian National University.

It’s an interesting study.

Of course, working part-time is a wonderful solution for working parents (men and women). Sadly, here in the United States, the concept of part-time doesn’t seem as well advanced as other parts of the world.

My experience is that:

1. Part-time work is great if you can afford. Many people can’t — and they’re the ones (often those in poorly-paid jobs) who often don’t have the voice to lobby for increased flexibility.
2. The US lags behind Australia and the UK when it comes to job sharing. I’ve seen many people job share some very senior jobs in Australia.
3. Many part-timers lose benefits in the U.S. That’s a powerful disincentive.

And who hasn’t stuck their kids in front of the TV at some time? I have. I do. And I will continue to do so at times. My kids are banned from watching Monday to Friday but I am not above breaking my own rule when I have a work deadline.

As someone who works full-time (but telecommutes so I have flexibility) and knows how to cook fast and nutritional meals (my mother taught restaurant management, had her own French restaurant and was a fantastic cook),  I don’t know how to respond to this.

I tend to think a huge amount of this problem relates to the lost art of cooking.

In France, where I lived for a few years, cooking dinner was like a weight around working women’s necks, a big fat albatross made out of Normandy butter. That horrible pressure to churn out a four course meal for lunch … and hold down a full-time job.

I do see people struggle to get basic meals on the table ..  and find it so hard that they resort to packets, snacks, takeout and prepackaged meals.

We eat simply most nights. A bowl of pasta and salad, some lentils and rice other nights, a stir fry another … It isn’t difficult or expensive, but it takes practice and timing to do it night after night.

(But I am very lucky. We can afford a cleaner to come in regularly to clean up our well-used kitchen where I churn out hot breakfasts and dinners six to seven days a week. I know many people can’t, and if they’re like me, a huge deterrent to cooking often is the big bloody mess it makes.)

P.S. My kids are skinny as rakes so far.

I loved our guest bloggers’ post about guilt being like our pelvic floor … deep, dark and hidden until after we have kids.  And it made me think about my own guilt …

My guiltiest mom moments

Mother guilt is like a TV ad: It interrupts my regularly scheduled programming at defined intervals in an annoying and invasive way.

And like a TV ad, the volume of the guilty ads is much LOUDER than my regular programming.

These guilty ads appear like clockwork at these times:

When my kids are sick. Or even malingering. Take today. One of my sons grumbled this morning about feeling a little sick and my plans flew out the window. I can’t cope with the idea of sending him to school when he’s feeling bad. #FAIL. Of course, 10 minutes later he looks okay and is definitely resisting efforts to stay in bed. Now he’s watching television and I am writing. TV!!!!????? #FAIL

And now a word from our detractors ….

When my kids do something wrong. Take the watch that makes me sick. A blue and orange Gap watch came home mysteriously in a school bag three weeks ago. It was “given”  to one of my sons, who could not remember the name of the child who generously parted with this expensive gift.  After some discussion, a polite word for what really happened, the watch disappeared, only to be found buried under a pile of winter hats. Did my son steal the watch? Is he heading for a life of crime? Have I been stern enough about the watch? What happened to the kid who lost the watch? Is he in trouble with his parents?  (I know, I know, I should’ve been tougher when my son nicked candy at CVS when he was three and escaped without apprehension until it was too late, and we were miles away, for us to force him to return it.)

Nobody’s missing the watch. There it sits, on our sideboard, a big orange guilty reminder of my failure to teach my children about valuing other people’s possessions. #FAIL.

The watch joins other things in my life that make me feel guilty. The clothes that were always too small, the expensive CD and book of educational poetry for the kids that they’ve refused to listen to once,  the interesting foods that we’ve never eaten, the garage full of junk …and  the endless piles of worthy books (Toni Morrison’s Jazz, for example) that should’ve been read but were neglected for yet another murder mystery (The Girl with Dragon Tattoo. Fun!!) or another episode of Project Runway. #FAIL

During school vacations. This is the worst for me. See my post about how I feel bad working during summer about “forcing” my children to do camps. http://momstowork.com/10/20/maria-shriver-summer-vacation-more-stressful-than-anything-else/

Gap watch of guilt

When I have to go away for work. I feel bad that my spouse has to cope alone. I do note that he presumes I’m capable enough to cope when he has to work from 6 a.m until midnight for weeks in a row, not seeing any of us. Maybe I should do the same … #FAIL.

When I do the occasional, very indulgent thing, like getting a haircut when I should be doing educational or worthy activities with my children. #FAIL.

If only I could TiVo my life to skip the guilty ads we’d all be so much happier.

In the meantime, let’s say no to unnecessary and unwarranted guilt!!!!

Start by singing our MomstoWork NO to Guilt song .. It is silly but we loved making it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52S-UudcVnE

Go Oprah!

So far, 138,709 people have signed Oprah’s pledge, promising to make their cars “No Phone Zones.”

Why don’t you join her? We have.

Make your car a no-phone zone today

Make that 138,710 pledges, Oprah!

Oprah's no phone zone pledge

Swear off dangerous driving that could put your kids and someone else’s at risk by signing Oprah’s pledge today.

At MomstoWork, we’ve already taken the pledge to give up talking and texting on our cell phones. See Mom, did you ever drive and talk on your cell phone?

It’s not easy, and we’ve slipped. As Oprah says, it is very addictive.

If only we could give up sex, drugs and rockn’roll behind the wheel, too. We jest, badly.

DUCCY  is dangerous

You can read our other posts on Driving while Under the Influence of Excess Chatter  and Yabbering (DUCCY) here.

Jayne Jennings & Valerie McDougall founded Guilt Free Business Mothers.com after conducting an international survey of women business owners and work life balance. Their free e-White Paper on the results, including strategies of successful work life balancers, is now available.

In this guest blog they share a result that set them thinking about pelvic floor muscles:

The pelvic floor of motherhood!

Guilt, we’ve found, is like your pelvic floor.

Until motherhood you don’t really give it too much attention. Then bang! You become aware very quickly of its existence and the struggle to keep it under control.

Guilt reared its head as a surprisingly strong burden for women, particularly mothers, in our NewNorma.com research project on the work life balance of self-employed women.[1]

Work life juggle ain't easy for working moms

• “Women feel more guilt and there are so many extra expectations on women, especially those with children at home.“

• “I don’t think there’s one woman who doesn’t feel guilt and I think men don’t really understand. And it’s guilt about everything. I remember when I was working for a large corporate and turned up late to pick up my kids from school. I’d be frantic on my drive there, feeling guilty that I left the meeting early and feeling guilty that I left my children there standing waiting for me. Guilty about where are you going, what you are spending, you feel guilty about relationships, you feel guilty about everything. It’s just disgusting. Women need to stop it.“

Working moms are way too tough on themselves

But are we our own worst enemies when it comes to guilt?

These responses may suggest we are:

Perhaps the root of the problem lies in our beliefs and expectations of ourselves?  We want to be the best mother we can — ensuring our children have everything they need to be happy and healthy.  We want to be there for them. And shouldn’t that mean being always patient, loving and kind?

Alongside the mother role, we want, or in many cases, need to generate an income to meet household expenses, and the opportunity to seek success in our own right as career or business women.

When we fail the impossible expectations we set ourselves in our multiple roles, we deem ourselves to be ‘bad mothers’.

How many of us could reel off a list of times when we judged ourselves to be ‘bad mother’? (MTW comment: Every day!)

We can readily recount times when we have felt far from being  ideal mothers –  yelling because we’ve felt tired and cranky, missing a daughter’s first day of school due to work commitments, working when they were home sick … we could go on.

The effects of mother guilt are concerning.

When mothers are away from children to go to work or for other reasons, it’s not their absence that most affects children, but the guilt they  feel.

We believe this is particularly destructive because guilt can show up as resentment, anger, low energy levels and low self-esteem.

How to say no to guilt

So what can we do about kicking the guilt trip? Many women start up their own businesses to gain a greater sense of flexibility around the hours they work.  One woman told us how her inspiration to start her business and have more life work balance came about in response to guilt and stress:

• I was a single parent with two small children for 11 years and building my career in a corporate firm I experienced all the guilt and stress that goes with that and missed so much of their schooling events/activities and had to be at work for extended hours.

But there is no guarantee of avoiding guilt simply with business ownership – in fact it can be worsened, according to a study of New Zealand women entrepreneurs.  “The feelings of guilt some of these women experienced when leaving their children with others (particularly caregivers or nannies) was considerable…”.[2]

Through our own research some women reported even feeling guilty because they believed they enjoyed their businesses too much!

Whether at home, in your own business or as an employee, there is no simple answer to guilt.

Any mothers suffering from guilt should take heart that they are not alone and know that she is in good company.  During the 2008 US election campaign, now First Lady Michelle Obama told a mainly female audience: “I’m always living with the guilt that if I’m spending too much time at work, then I’m not giving enough time to my girls. And if I’m with my girls, then I’m not doing enough for work — or you name it. It’s a guilt that we all live with in this room. Can I hear an amen ..?”

The question lingering in our minds is that as women, are we hardwired for guilt?

Get the free e-White Paper on the results, including strategies of successful work life balancers, is now available.

You can follow the New Normas, Valerie and Jayne, on Twitter.com/@guiltfreebizmum

[2] J Kirkwood, (Department of Management, University of Otago, Dunedin, New Zealand) & B Tootell,  (Department of Human Resource Management, Massey University, Palmerston North, New Zealand)

Laugh, cry, agonize, relive bad moments of mothering, lust for food, laugh at pretentiousness and answer these book club questions:

• What is the significance of the stairs on the book’s cover?
• Is Lorrie Moore criticizing working mothers?
• Does she teach pretentiously named courses like the ones she lampoons?
• Have you ever done anything that could have easily caused great harm or worse to your child … but it didn’t? Is this luck?
• What is her favorite bird? Kidding.

This is my all time favorite book club book!!! We talked for two hours solidly and we could have talked for hours.

I love Philippe Petit in Man on Wire, and Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann (which starts with Petit’s amazing walk in New York’s skies) captured some of the magic.

Let the Great World Spin was described as “The first great 9/11 novel” by Esquire Magazine, says McCann’s site.

By the way, Man on Wire (about Petit’s walk between the World Trade Centers) is an absolutely engrossing ‘family’ film. We all watched it one night, my dad and my seven year old twins. And then we watched it again the next morning. Transfixed. For the adults, there was a certain post Sept. 11 fascination and horror. For the kids, there was just gob-smacking amazement.

For a great book club activity, consider a screening of the film (or the first 20 minutes) before discussing the book.

That’s my plan. We’re doing Let the Great World Spin for our next book club. Will let you know whether it was a conversation starter or killer.