MOMMA'S LITTLE HELPER

Mommy Guilt

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:15:36 PST

"Fear and guilt are the only enemies

of man." -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

According to dictionary.com the definition of guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. The guilt gene is triggered the minute we become a mothers. Guilt it weighs us down. It creeps into our psyches and keeps us up at night.

There are two types of guilt one is for something that we have actually done. The other is for something with think we should have done. Most moms I know feel the latter. We imagine a thousand and one offenses we have yet commit on a daily basis called "The Shouldas". For example -- I shoulda baked homemade cookies for that school party. We convince ourselves that our kids will be scared for life because we sent store bought cookies to school for the class party instead of homemade cookies.

In our minds, we have created the perfect mother. She is part Donna Reed, the 1950s ideal mother, she looks like Heidi Klum and she is successful in business as Martha Stewart. Wow! How about that the perfect mom! She takes care of the house, looks perfect and kicks ass in the board room. Easy role model to live up too. Totally reasonable!

Here's the deal -- guilt cripples us. It makes us ineffective mothers. It binds our hearts and minds. We sweat the small stuff to such an extent it has made us for lack of a better word crazy. We focus on all the things we didn't do instead of all the thousand and one things we do everyday. At some point, we will have to cut ourselves a break. Because you know who are the real victims here? Our families. Yes, because feeling guilty makes us neurotic and crazed women who run around chasing our tails day after day. Guilt pulls us out of the present moment, out of the here and now.

Guilt does not allow us to enjoy all the wonderful things we do for our families. Guilt doesn't allow us to enjoy our families or allow us to enjoy being mothers for that matter!!! It keeps us suspended in this hyper alter-reality in which every mom looks like Heidi Klum, bakes cookies and makes a six figure income. It this world, moms are tireless robots who meet every need of every person in their lives. And that, that is just not only unrealistic it's crazy!

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Hosting a Vitrual Pity Party

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 08:19:29 PDT

Did you have one of those days where you just wanted to chuck it all in? Call it a day. Say "I'm done here!" You wonder to yourself, "Does anyone notice how hard I am working?" All the trips to the grocery store, every tantrum you soothe, every cheesy bread you bake -- does anyone see it? If a tree fell in the forest and nobody noticed it...does it really matter?

I am working on a mood today. Hank, my bathroom scale, totally pissed me off this morning by telling me that I have gained 1.6 pounds since last week. Even though I have been busting my ass at the gym. Then I had the pleasure of dealing with a howling three year old whose tantrum lasted 40 minutes. It started boiling up inside me as I was comparison shopping laundry detergents wondering what the generic version would do to our clothes. Was the six dollars in savings really worth it? And we work so hard, where does all our money go? I want it back. Then as I was doing laundry, the dryer was full of clothes. It is ALWAYS full of clothes!!! It's the little things that break you down by piling up day after day after day.

I then had an epiphany!!! An online pity party for all you hardworking mommies out there. Just scroll down to the "Comments" section and write whatever you want down there and I'll post it. You can scream, shout, swear, complain, threaten to leave your family--whatever YOU want to say you have the forum to say it.

Because today I am so sittin' on that pity pot today. I am throwin' myself a par-tay. So, feel free to join me.

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It's A Wonderful Life

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:11:32 PDT

I was at Bed, Bath & Beyond last week, and it's BEYOND me as to why they are putting up Christmas stuff THREE WEEKS before Halloween! But it got me thinking about one of my all time favorite Christmas movies, It's A Wonderful Life. Growing up, we didn't really have any family traditions to speak of, the only one that comes to mind is watching It's A Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve. Now, back in the day waaay before cable TV, as you remember, we only had a few channels. And every Christmas Eve, Channel 11 (PBS) would broadcast It's A Wonderful Life at 10 pm. We'd watch it every year. Or should I say, I would try to stay up and watch it, it's three hours long and some years I'd just pass out only to wake up to George Bailey running through the streets screaming,"I love you Bedford Falls!"

The movie is about family man George Bailey. The guy who does everything right. Yet, the market crashes and he loses everything. In deep despair, he decides to throw himself off of a bridge. George is then rescued by an angel, named Clarence, who is trying to get his wings. George admonishes Clarence for saving his life, telling him emphatically life would be better if he'd never been born, if he just didn't exist. So, Clarence being the crafty angel he is, takes George on a journey, showing him what life would have been like if he'd never been born.

It got me thinking about depression. One of the causes of depression is that people feel as though their lives don't really matter, like they are not really making a difference. Or like George Bailey, life goes pear shaped, they lose something like a job or money, and they feel as though they are a complete failure, like their loved ones would be better off with out them.

There is so much we do every single day that we take for granted, like making dinner for our families, reading books to our kids and working hard at our jobs. The countless little things you do every single day for the people in your life... that's what makes you a hero. That's how you are making a difference. Now, take a moment and pretend that Clarence is taking you on tour of what life would be like for your family and friends if YOU didn't exist. Are you seeing some holes there? Who would do all the things that you do every day?

And finally, it really doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank. The true meaning of success can't be measured in dollars in cents, by a promotion or by a job. Like Clarence told George,"Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends."

Coming out of the Closet

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:34:16 PDT

Over the years, I have witnessed friends coming out of the closet. I have always admired their strength and resilience. I mean, to tell the world who you truly are knowing that you could seriously jeopardize your career, your relationships, that you could be the target of ridicule and scrutiny is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Knowing that by telling the truth about yourself, people might never perceive you in the same way again.

I feel like I have been living a double life for the last several months. This blog is my coming out so to speak. Nope, I am not gay. I am an intuitive. Although, most of my friends and family have been really supportive, the response I hear most often is "Yeah, not surprised, you always seem to know stuff." Yet, I am still a bit nervous. Will you stop reading my blog? Will my pr clients leave me? Will my friends stop talking to me? Who knows?

For my entire life, I have always worked hard to fit in...usually extremely unsuccessfully I might add. My life has always been this strange dichotomy. In college I was an Art History major and in a sorority, two pieces that never fit easily together. Now I am a marketing consultant/writer/intuitive. That's a lot of slashes...isn't it?

About ten years ago, I was on my way to work, riding the L, going to my high pressure marketing job at Chicago magazine. I was writing in my journal and the idea suddenly appeared that I wanted to be a minister. This thought freaked me out. My life at that time was 180 degrees from being a minister. I mean, I didn't even to go church! So, I stuffed the thought down and let it go. And now, ten years later I find myself getting my degree in Holistic Ministry, working with people to help them lead better lives, the lives that they were meant to lead.

So as I start this new chapter of my life, I hope you'll continue to join me on this journey. Actually most of the touchy feely inspirational stuff I blog about comes from the work and studying I have been doing. The one thing I want to reiterate is that I am still me -- this is just another part of me. I will still blog about diets, purses, sex, poop and shoes! Trust me!

If you want to learn more about what an intuitive is, visit my new website at www.intuityou.com. As always, I'd love to hear from you, so shoot me an email at mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com or at amelia@intuityou.com.

The Anti-Vaccine Movement

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:31:57 PDT

As more and more cases of H1N1 (aka The Swine Flu) are being reported, my timing for completing my four part vaccine series with the anti-vaccine movement does seem a bit odd. Or does it? I guess it depends on which side of this argument you stand. During the last several weeks, I have been hosting a conversation on Twitter Moms titled, "Swine Flu --How Worried Are You?" The responses have been enlightening. Moms on both sides of the argument have been weighing in, along with concerned and confused moms just looking for more information.

What is the Anti-Vaccine Movement?

The anti-vaccination movement (AVM) purports the following:

Denies a causal connection between vaccines and the eradication or significant reduction of diseases like smallpox, polio, measles, and rubella.
Perceives vaccines as causing diseases, e.g., it claims that the MMR (mumps-measles-rubella) vaccine causes autism. Either way, the AVM proponents oppose vaccination against disease.

Is the AVM anti-vaccine?

Not totally, many in the AVM believe that homeopathic vaccines are safer and are looking to the government to test vaccines for safety to ensure any potentially harmful substances (like Mercury for instance) are removed. Another camp believes in Nosodes, which is a homeopathic preparation made from matter from a sick animal or person. Substances such as respiratory discharges or diseased tissues are used to make the vaccine.

What are the core beliefs of the AVM?

Some of the core beliefs behind the anti-vaccine movements range from:

It's a government conspiracy to keep the public misinformed about the harmful side effects of vaccines
The pharmaceutical companies are using fear mongering to make a profit off vaccines
Our bodies can naturally produce the anti-bodies to ward off disease
And finally, our doctors push vaccines for a profit.

Are there any actual MDs against vaccines?

Yes, Dr. Mendelsohn. He wrote a book titled Confessions of a Medical Heretic and he has been anti-vaccine since 1983. Dr. Mendelsohn has also written many papers on mumps, measles, rubella, whopping cough, diphtheria, chicken pox, tuberculous, and sudden infant death syndrome. You can visit his website alternative-doctor.com for more information.

Still want more info?

If you want more information on the anti-vaccine movement, you can visit the following websites:

And finally...

In conclusion, I wanted to present to you a 360 degree view of vaccines. Honestly, by far, this has been the most controversial of all my posts (that includes even the poop and sex blogs)!!! I have received interesting email from both sides. My goal was to be as objective as possible and just provide the information and let MLH readers decide.

I have procrastinated writing this last post because quite frankly I am having a difficult time biting my tongue -- about this particular post especially. But as I said in past posts, I am not a doctor, I am a mommy blogger and it is ultimately up to you to make the right decisions for your family. All I will say is that my entire family has had our seasonal flu shots. Now that Swine Flu shot, the jury is still out on that one! :)

Here are links to MLH's previous vaccine posts:

Meet Two Angry Moms

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:32:16 PDT

Hamburgers, french fries, chicken nuggets, pizza, pop, chips, cookies...on any given day that's what kids across America are eating for lunch. And it's no wonder that childhood obesity have more than tripled in the past two decades. For years, Amy Kalafa would pack healthy lunches for her kids, only to find that she was being undermined by the school's unhealthy offerings. So she did what any angry mom would do, she made a movie. She partnered with Susan Rubin, MD (aka the "other mom"), and a leader in the better school food movement.

The movie Two Angry Moms is part expose and part "how to" outlining this grass roots revolution to improve the nutritional quality of school food. According to former Texas Agricultural Secretary Susan Combs, "It will take 2 million angry moms to change school food." This gave Amy an idea.... Build from 2 to 2 million angry moms.

So if you are angry and want to do something, you can go to the Angry Moms website for a list of resources. Here are a few I like:

If you'd like to join the Two Angry Moms movement, here are some ideas for you:

Add your name to the Two Angry Moms Pledge
You can host a Two Angry Moms Screening

Detox Diet Day 27 of 28

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:32:31 PDT

Hard to believe it's day 27 of day 28, of our Gillian McKeith's Slim for Life Detox Diet. I know the big question on your mind is, so how much weight have you lost? How's Hank? But, before I get to all that there a few things I want to say. Of course, that trainer telling me that I was carrying around 50 pounds of fat was like a bucket of cold water in my face. This "process" has been about two years in the making. I didn't wake up 27 days ago and say, "Let's go on a highly restrictive, pretty much vegetarian diet to lose a bunch of weight as quickly as possible." Yes, losing weight is important, but it was just ONE of the many motivating factors that prompted us to do this.

For me, I have been making lifestyle changes for the last two years. I stopped drinking wine and coffee first. Then I started taking probiotics (everyone should be on them!!!), supplements and vitamins along with incorporating meditation and Reiki sessions. Then I started working out or walking three to four days a week. Then I eliminated red meat, which to be honest wasn't a huge sacrifice for me, I have never been much of a lover of red meat. Then I started doing more research on health & wellness and took an Introduction to Natural Healing class. I am working on my BS in Holistic Ministry with a specialty in women's health issues. Now, after all this, I am ready to not only lose weight but change my life and luckily so is my husband.

It's All About the Numbers

I have lost nine pounds, dropped two dress sizes (12 regular to an 8 petite), wearing a small top and dropped one pants size (12 to a 10). My stomach has shrunk, although I have not measured it. But honestly, I see the weight loss mostly in my stomach.

Eric, my husband, has lost 15 pounds, can fit into his tight jeans and has probably lost at least three inches from his waste. He micro-brew beer gut is gone.

My Relationship with Hank

I have to fess up, Hank did get to me. I have weighed myself a few times, since I broke up with him. Mostly after going out to eat. I wanted to find out how much damage I had done. We are working on our relationship. I have to say, I view him as more of a scale now. He know longer holds all the power in our relationship. Hank to me now is like that ex-boyfriend that you had that passionate affair with. You know the one you were totally in love with, completely blinded by passion. Then you run into him a few years later and wonder what you ever saw in him. He's just a guy you used to date. My hubby on the other hand is having a full on affair with Hank. He's on him every morning, but that's his deal not mine.

The Good, Bad and the Rock Bottom
In the last 27 days, well, it's certainly has been a journey for me and my family. Aside from the weight loss, I feel great. I no longer have eczema on my hands. My nails which used to be so brittle are really strong. Eric's asthma has completely cleared up. Most of the food is delicious and it does curb your cravings for the bad stuff. I have also learned that I was eating stuff I really didn't even like or crave just because it was there. I am more of a salty, crunchy girl. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy chocolate. After my HS reunion, I went back to the diet the very next day, normally I would have used that as an excuse to eat crap, but I didn't.

Now for "The Ugly": Alena had some Cheetos and she left them on the table. I ate them. I ate them all. She asked for her Cheetos and Eric told her I ate them. She then started crying and said,"Why? Why would mommy do that?" That was the rock bottom moment.

Are we done yet?

Nope, we're not. If this was a marathon, I am about a third of a way to the finish line. My goal is to lose 20 more pounds. I am 5 feet and a half inch and that will get me into the ideal weight zone. My husband, who was a red meat lover, is now forwarding me vegetarian recipes. Which forced me to ask him, who are you and what did you do with my husband?

I have to be honest with you, I am a bit concerned about keeping this up for the long run. McKeith's rule is the 80/20 rule, 80 percent of the time eat healthy and 20 percent indulge in treats. For us, this really has been a massive change of lifestyle. And of course, you know I'll keep you posted.

BTW here's a pic from my 20 year HS reunion and the skinny blonde, that's my friend Kathrine.

Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:31:05 PDT

Now, there was a time
when they used to say
that behind ev'ry great man,
there had to be a great woman.
But oh, in these times of change,
you know that it's no longer true.
So we're comin' out of the kitchen,
'cause there's something we forgot to say to you.
We say, Sisters are doin' it for themselves,
standin' on their own two feet
and ringin' on their own bells.
We say, Sisters are doin' it
for themselves.
Now, this is a song to celebrate
the conscious liberation of the female state.
Mothers, daughters,
and their daughters too, woh yeah,
woman to woman,
we're singing with you, ooh, ooh.
The "inferior sex" has got a new exterior.
We got doctors, lawyers, politicians too,
ooh ooh ooh, ooh.
Ev'rybody, take a look around.
Can you see, can you see, can you see,
there's a woman right next to you.
We say, Sisters are doin' it for themselves,
standin' on their own two feet
and ringin' on their own bells.
Sisters are doin' it
for themselves.
Now we ain't makin' stories,
and we ain't layin' plans.
Don't you know that a man still loves a woman,
and a woman still loves a man
just the same, though.
Ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh.
Sisters are doin' it
for themselves.

By Annie Lenox

I have always thought of this song as a rallying cry for women. The power in Annie Lenox's voice always makes me want to just rip off my bra and start marching in the streets. Up until last week, I thought of woman's rights as an issue that's been settled. Well, I can't begin to tell you how painfully ignorant I have been. Yes, I watched Oprah. She hosted Nickolas Kristof and Sheryl Wudunn authors of the book Half the Sky. After watching, I thought about doing a blog, but I figured Oprah has a wee bigger audience than MLH. I let it go.

Then, I was listening to one of my teachers, Reverend Ed Bacon over at All Saints Church in Pasadena, CA. His sermon was on women's rights. And during his sermon, he quoted one of my all time favorite quotes, a quote which in the last week I have been running across over and over again.

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God...We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us." -- Marianne Williamson

Then Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi announces she pregnant. According to her fertility doctor, her pregnancy is a miracle because of her endometriosis. During one of those post Emmy fashion re-cap shows, Padma was voted worst dressed. Now in hindsight, she was probably trying to conceal her pregnancy. She was probably walking the red carpet happy about her show, happy about her pregnancy. Only to be torn down the next day by the "fashion police." I used to love the fashion re-cap shows, the stars, the clothes, the jewelry, now I feel a bit dirty after watching them.

All this made me wonder. Are the sister doin' it for themselves? Really? When young women in Afghanistan are getting battery acid thrown in their faces just for walking to school. Just because they want to get an education. Just because they want a better life. And me, living in my blissed out cocoon, so totally ignorant to it all. How am I spending my time? Watching the fashion police, watching another "sister" getting torn down by other "sisters" because she didn't wear the right dress to an event. I am ashamed of myself and of us. Women around the world deserve better. And women here can do better not only for them but for each other.

So where do we go from here? What can we do? We can no longer claim ignorance for starters. Now we know better. It all starts with education. We need to educate ourselves on this issue. If you want more information please visit the following sites:

Half The Sky

Women For Women

Oprah.com

Let's start doin' it for each other.

PiX Cosmetics is Pitch Perfect

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:10:00 PDT

So one of the perks of being a mommy blogger, besides the money, is that people send you free stuff to try out. Okay, you get that "besides the money" is a joke, right? I mean honestly, every time one of my little old aunties reads my blog for the first time, we have the exact same conversation.

Old Auntie: So I read your blog.

Me: Great! What did you think?

Old Auntie: It's good. Do you get paid for it?

Me: Um, no. I mean not yet. Maybe someday, when I have a lot of readers.

Old Auntie: Then why do you write it then?

Me: Well, because I love to write. It's kinda nice to have people actually read what you write.

Old Auntie: But you don't make any money?

Me: Nope, nadda. But I could someday.

Old Auntie: Oh, I see. Good for you sweetie.

But, I do get free stuff, like MAKEUP!! I love, love, love makeup!!! I am a total makeup junkie. When I walk into Sephora my eyes dilate and my jaw hangs open. I walk around in a happy daze. Like a kid in the proverbial candy store. I am literally overcome by all the lotions and potions all lined up under the bright lights. Each one has been created to make us look younger, prettier, and sexier. It's hope, sex and love in a jar, tube, powder, and/or lip gloss.

PiX Cosmetics a mineral based make up line, was kind enough to send some samples over for me to try out. So what does "mineral based" mean exactly? PiX Cosmetics are hypoallergenic, oil-free and do not contain harsh dyes, perfumes, preservatives or alcohol. And, they aren't tested on animals. All good stuff. I must say, I had this impression that mineral based makeup was like, I don't know, was like thinner, not quite as rich as "regular" make up. But with PiX that is definitely NOT the case. This makeup is so rich and luxurious.

For the last four days, I have been wearing Owner and Makeup Artist Leann Swisher's fav fall colors:

PiX Mineral Eyeshadows Sunlight ($12), a soft nude pink with a hint of shimmer and Bliss ($12), a warm copper brown. The eyeshadows not only last all day, but Bliss is so easy to apply, you know how applying the dark color in the crease of the eye is a bit tricky, not so with Bliss, it's blissfully easy to apply.
The PiX StiX Eyeliner in Brown ($14) again stays on all day and is so, so, so very easy to apply. I feel like a pro!
The PiX Mineral Blush "O" ($15) I normally don't wear blush, I do a bronzer but I do like how this blush gives me that youthful, healthy rosy cheeked glow.
The Moisturizing Lip Gloss Sweetie ($15) now lip gloss is like crack for me. I love it! This is now my new fav lip gloss, not only because of the sheeny pink color but it stays on! This little gloss goes the distance! For sure!

PiX is pitch perfect on all fronts -- the price is right, the colors are soooo pretty, it lasts all day long and its good for your skin. What more could ya possible ask from your makeup? I'll tell ya...nadda.

Oh, one more thing, Leann does Mommy Makeovers with her hubby, who's a photographer. So if you want to bring out your inner super model or want to do a maternity or infant portrait, check out Byran Swisher Photography.

Cultivating Gratitude

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:21:59 PDT

"Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing." ~ Zig Ziglar

According to the Merriam- Webster Dictionary, gratitude means, the state of being grateful : THANKFULNESS. Okay, so gratitude, to live a happy and fulfilled life we need it. But, the real question is how do we get more of it? And most importantly, how do we teach our kids gratitude? I believe it's the little changes that make the biggest difference. At least, that's what I tell my clients when I do intuitive holistic health and wellness consultations. But, I do believe it to be true.

Here are a few easy ways to cultivate gratitude in your life every day:

Notice what makes you happy -- Is it a vanilla latte? A sunset? For me it's a big leg hug from Alena. There's just something about that little girl squeezing my legs in happiness that makes me happy. To often we focus on what's making us unhappy, that we forget to notice the little wonderful moments that happen to us all day long.
Start a gratitude list -- doesn't have to be complicated, everyday I jot down in my daily calendar two or three things that made me happy that day.
Say thank you more -- to often we take for granted the nice things people do for us all day long. Did the barista at Starbucks get your double no foam decaf latte right? Say thanks.
Say grace at dinner time -- we just started this one in honor of our friend Michael, who just passed away, it's our time as a family to say thank you together. I don't think I need to mention there are many families out there that don't have food or a table to gather at every night.
Practice forgiveness -- in honor of Yom Kippur, as known as the day of Atonement, I love this word, it's the process of allowing a transgression to be pardoned or forgiven. Maybe you need to forgive someone, maybe you need to ask someone to forgive you, or maybe your need to forgive yourself.
Be a role model for gratitude -- see our little ones are like these little sponges they pick up everything from us. If you want to teach your kids gratitude be grateful.

The thing is to let gratitude in we have to let anger, bitterness, the ego, resentment, unhappiness out. In our society, the need to be right actually prevents us from being happy, from being grateful. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. It's pretty hard. Especially, when life is throwing you a curve ball aimed directly at your head, it's hard to duck for cover with a smile on your face while saying thank you. When all we want to do is focus on what's wrong and what's missing. But in the end, where will that get you? Not more happiness or peace.

Trust me, no matter where you are right at this very moment, you can list at least five things you are grateful for. Why don't you do that? Write them down and email me your list at mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com.

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Detox Diet & Methadone: Diet Day 17 ???

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:59:22 PDT

I went to my twentieth high school reunion this weekend. I knew I was going to eat non-diet foods and have a few cocktails. I don't drink these days, but I am not sure how you could get through your twenty year high school reunion without lots and lots of alcohol. If you have some suggestions, please send them my way. So, I got a new dress (size 8 petite no less) and put on my dancin' shoes. After the reunion, we came back to the hotel room and ordered a pizza, drank some water and went to bed.

I woke up at four in the morning. I was sick. I won't go into the dirty details. Let's just say that after eating mung beans and fruit smoothies for the last several days -- my body went into shock. My intestines staged a major revolt. The detox diet is like methadone, when you eat crappy food on the "no, no list" it makes you violently ill. Sitting there in the bathroom, I felt like a heroin addict who just went on a bender after taking methadone.

The conversation I was having with my bowels at five a.m. went something like this:

"Why are you doing this to us?"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry. Who knew that a few drinks and pizza could do THIS?"

"Duh...once you go the spinach and bean route you just can't go back."

"I swear tomorrow it's back to the mung beans."

"Well, now you know. Did we prove our point? You can't eat healthy stuff and then eat crap. It doesn't work that way. Okay?"

"Gotcha ya. I heard ya loud and clear. I cross my large intestine. It won't happen again.."

The good news is that pizza no longer holds the same sway over me. I may have been cured of my cravings for it, at least for the time being. Oh, and did I mention, that my dress was a size eight petite? That's worth it's weight in mung beans. Isn't it?

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The Jane Gene

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 07:33:46 PDT

I love Jane Austen. I know that I am not alone in my love for her because there is the Jane Austen Society of North America in which there are thousands of members. And virtually, there is cottage industry of recent books in which modern writers do a spin on Jane's time worn classics. I was a late comer to Jane Austen. I got hooked on Jane, with the 1995 adaptation of Pride & Prejudice starting Collin Firth as Mr. Darcy. (On a side note, what is it about English men? Is it the accent? The jaw bones? The cold detachment? The tailored shirts?) At this point, I have read everything Jane has written, plus the more recent adaptions of her stories. My book club just read Persuasion and they didn't love it. It was there and then I realized, either you have the Jane Gene or you don't. So if you have the Jane Gene, then read on it you don't, I'll catch you later.

Now, I know only the true Jane lovers are reading now. My people. You are welcome here. Let's just take a deep breath and go to that happy period place. Aha, I love it there. If you need to get your fix of what my hubby calls "period porn."

Here's a recap of just some (there are waaay more than I can list!!!) of the latest modern re-treads:

Austenland by Shannon Hale (this is one of my favs)
Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: Pride and Prejudice Continue s by Linda Berdoll (gotta tell ya these are pretty racy, so be warned)
Darcy & Elizabeth: Nights and Days at Pemberley (Pride & Prejudice Continues) by Linda BerdollMr. Darcy's Diary by Amanda GrangeMr. Darcy, Vampyre by Amanda Grange (Austin & vampires --does it get any better????)
Mr.Darcy's Daughters by Elizabeth Aston
Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler
Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict by Laurie Viera Rigler
Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler
Pride & Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Green (not sure how Jane would feel about this, she's either turning over in her grave or laughing hysterically)
Sense & Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen & Ben H Winters

All things Jane Movies:

Lost In Austen (this is a cute little movie about a modern day girl trapped in a Jane Austen movie)
Becoming Jane (based on a book, just skip the book and watch the movie)
BBC recently did new versions of Mansfield Park, Northanger Abby,Sense & Sensibility, and Persuasion (I would def check them out, they are really well done)

Want more period stuff?

The BBC's adaption of Elizabeth's Gaskell's North & South got all us Austen fans in a twitter. It also featured British actor Richard Armitage, which got the message boards a buzzin' that he was even BETTER than Collin Firth in Pride & Prejudice. I must agree, because yesterday as I spent an hour of my time trying to hunt down the Sir Guy of Gisborne action figure (Armitage plays Gisborne in the BBC series Robin Hood). But it's so cute, it comes with a miniature horse and everything. I promised my hubby that I wouldn't talk to it or try to sleep with it at night.

I may be losing my objectivity, since, I spend much of my time either drinking herbal tea and writing or hanging out in a park surrounded by three year olds. See, I have always been a social butterfly. In school, on every single report card I got called out for talking too much. Now, I stew in my own juices for a bit too long leaving me a bit pickled at the end of the day. But all I know is, that action figure was sold out everywhere, so I am not alone!

And lastly, if you like audio books. Armitage lends his voice and talents to the classic period tale Sylvester by Georgette Heyer. Part of the proceeds go to charity. Okay, so I am definitely pickled and maybe a bit obsessed. But, I know you understand.

Flu and Swine Flu -- What's the diff?

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:31:08 PDT

It's the second day of fall and the flu is already on every parent's mind. Should your kids get a flu shot? Or do they need to get a swine flu shot (aka H1N1)? Do they get one shot? Or four shots? Lord have mercy, can this get anymore confusing? Maybe we should all just lock ourselves in our houses and emerge in the spring. Sounds like a plan, but not a very practical one.

In any event, I will make an attempt to sort it out for you. As always, I am not a doctor, just a mommy blogger, so be sure to discuss flu and swine vaccinations with a licensed health care provider. You are in no way going to confuse me with a doctor. Right?

And most importantly, the decision to vaccinate your child is yours and yours alone. I am in no way telling you, you should or should not vaccinate your child. Are we cool? Good, then let's continue.

What's the difference between the flu and the H1NI (swine) flu?

The seasonal flu occurs between fall and late spring. The symptoms include fever, coughing, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, headaches, body aches, chills and fatigue. Every year, approximately 5 to 20 percent of the population gets the seasonal flu.

The H1N1(swine) flu symptoms are more severe and include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills, fatigue, and possibly vomiting or diarrhea. It is a new contagious virus that is spread by coughing or sneezing. It has two genes from flu viruses that normally circulate in pigs in Europe and Asia, plus avian genes and human genes.

What exactly is an epidemic anyway?

On June 25th the Center for Disease Control released information revealing that there were more than likely over one million (1,000,000) cases of the disease in the US, most of which had not been reported or diagnosed.

You can also go to their FluView website to get a weekly state by state update of the flu virus. If you are wondering, Illinois is in the brown which means that the flu is widespread in our state. Yay!

Will the seasonal flu shot protect me from the swine flu?

No it will not. If you do decide to get vaccinated, you will need to get two shots -- one for the flu and the other for the swine flu. The LA Times just reported that next year the two shots will more than likely be combined.

How many shots does my child need?

According to the National Institute for Allergy and Infectious Diseases, children under the age of ten will need to have two doses of the H1N1 vaccine administered one month apart.

What's in the swine flu shot?

According to the FDA, the first candidate H1N1 vaccines will be monovalent vaccines prepared in eggs like annual influenza vaccines and will not contain either aluminum or oil-in-water adjuvants (MF-59 or ASO3) that can be added to manipulate the immune system and stimulate production of more antibodies.

Will Swine Flu Vaccines Contain Mercury?

Thimerosal, which is a mercury-based preservative added to multi-dose vials of inactivated annual influenza vaccines and other vaccines. Thimerosal WILL be added as a preservative in multi-dose vials of most inactivated (injected) H1N1 swine flu vaccines, although there reportedly will be a limited supply of single dose vials of inactivated swine flu vaccine that do not contain thimerosal. For more information, please visit The National Vaccine Information Center.

What are the side effects?

The common side effects were those you'd expect from seasonal flu vaccine: pain where the vaccine was injected (reported by 36 percent of Australian volunteers and 70 percent of UK volunteers) and muscle aches or headaches (reported by 45 percent of Australian volunteers and 42 percent of UK volunteers).

Source: Greenberg ME, Lai MH, Hartel GF, et al. Response after one dose of a monovalent influenza A (H1N1) 2009 vaccine: preliminary report. New England Journal of Medicine. Published online 10 September 2009. Clark TW, Pareek M, Hoschler K, et al. Trial of influenza A (H1N1) 2009 monovalent MF59-adjuvanted vaccine: preliminary report. New England Journal of Medicine. Published online 10 September 2009.

Want to know the best way to prevent getting zapped by the flu bug?

Then check out this video of the Rapping Doctor Clarke of Baldwin, M.D. and he'll break it down for you old school style. Yeah boyz.

Want even you want more information and the swine flu?

If you are still confused, please read "Still Confused About Swine Flu Shots? Kids Under 10 Will Need 2" posted on the U.S. NEWS and World Report's website. For more information on the flu and swine flu, please visit the following websites:

Effect Measure

Asthma Mom

National Vaccine Information Center

Flu.gov

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Diet Day 12: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:21:24 PDT

We are on day twelve of the twenty-eight day Slim for Life: The Ultimate Health and Detox Plan. To be honest, there have been good days, bad days and some downright ugly days. I will share them all with you.

The Good

Eric has lost over ten pounds. His stomach is shrinking daily. As for me, Hank, my bathroom scale, got the best of me and I have lost five pounds. My stomach is starting to look more sculpted and less like a front butt.

Overall, I feel full on this diet. We have become fruit smoothie drinkin' converts. I like cooking quinoa for dinner, but now I enjoy eating it for breakfast. Eric concocted a recipe that includes rice milk and bananas it's not only delicious but keeps you full all morning long.

I am also enjoying discovering new veggies, herbs, and fruits. We actually ran out of fruit today! Woo Hoo! We have also discovered fish. I was always sort of like overwhelmed by the prospect of cooking fish, but it is so super easy. Here's one of our fav recipes from the diet.

Baked Whitefish (serves 4)

Ingredients:

1 tsp oil (I used olive oil)
4 31/2 oz skinless whitefish (I cooked a white roughy from Trader Joe's)
1 lemon, sliced
2 cloves garlic, peeled & sliced
Dill and/or fennel

Directions:

Pre-heat oven to 390 f
Take a large piece of foil and with a pastry brush, oil the center. Place the fish on the foil and cover with lemon slices, garlic, and herbs. Scrunch up the foil to make a parcel and place on a baking tray.
Place in the oven and cook for 6 to 7 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to stand for 10 minutes. (I cooked the fish for 12 minutes and it came out perfectly, so you may want to watch it).

The Bad

The vegetable drinks are almost undrinkable, but I believe that is because we don't have a juicer. The blender makes these chunky gross vegetable drinks. My other complaint is that this diet is extremely time consuming. I pretty much go to the grocery store every day or every other day. The other night, it took Eric an hour and a half to cook our dinner.

The recipes can be a bit vague. We often find ourselves scratching our heads trying to figure out the portions, the directions and what the actual items are -- for example what is a gem lettuce??? I wonder if the recipes were in fact proofed and tested for an American audience.

The Ugly

The other day it got a bit ugly. I was making dinner for my friend who is recovering from colon cancer, (if you are counting this is our third friend with cancer). I was making him tortellini with Puccini mushrooms smothered in garlic butter and freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Then I had this dark thought, "Tom, is so lucky because he gets to eat pasta." Yes, Tom who just had eight inches of his colon removed and in a few months will have rounds of chemo is lucky because he gets to eat pasta!!! I don't believe there is a treatment available for the kind of help I am in need of.

Dinner last night was inedible. It was zucchini and onion soup and a butter bean spread which on paper doesn't sound that bad. Now I do like zucchini but this soup was indescribable. It was almost starting to trigger my gag reflex. The bean spread, which I love hummus, but the combination of tahini and miso paste was unpalatable. Here's a bit of our dinner conversation:

ME: Food makes me happy and this food, this food makes me not so happy.

ERIC: That's part of the problem, food makes us too happy.

ME: I can't eat this.

ERIC: The light has gone out of your eyes.

ME: I think I'm going to work out.

ERIC: Now I eat because I have to, not for pleasure. Food no longer brings me pleasure.

I think Dr. McKeith's plan is like boot camp. She's trying to break you down so she can build you back up. Yesterday, I was completely broken down. Today, I am on my way back up, but I had a yummy salad for lunch and I am making fish for dinner. Again, food makes me happy, so maybe I truly am hopeless.

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R U :) ???

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:25:28 PDT

Are you happy? Author Marcus Buckingham is doing a series on Huffington Post called "What's Happening to Women's Happiness? His most recent book titled Find Your Strongest Life tackles this tough question. After reading his blog, in which he shows all sorts of fancy graphs charting the decline in happiness for women since the 70's. I then started thinking about my two Yia Yias. They were both such markedly different women. Here's what they had in common: they were both born in Greece, had arranged marriages and spoke Greek. And that's where their similarities ended.

My Grandma Amelia, my namesake, was a tiny tough as nails little peasant woman. She was as cold as ice and rarely smiled. Her biggest accomplishment was the fact that all her grandchildren were college educated. She taught herself to speak English by reading the newspaper, where she tracked her "stocks" everyday. If you asked her an innocuous question like, "How are you doing today Grandma?", you'd better have been prepared for an honest answer such as,"How do you think I am doing? I am too old. I should die." She referred to the high end nursing home she lived in as "a prison."

During my 20's I was like a butterfly fluttering around to this job and that, to either a different boyfriend or a new apartment. After each one of these seismic life changes, Grandma Amelia would always ask me the same question,"Are you satisfied?" I always gave her a thoughtless response like, "Yeah, sure." Not really getting what she was in fact asking me. That it is a huge question. Are you satisfied? Like, are you happy in your own skin? Are you at peace? Is this the THING you were looking for? And most importantly are you content?

My other Grandma, Grandma Caloupie was a large generous woman who had an endless supply of hugs and Hershey bars. The family lore is that she hid her bird in her ample cleavage when she flew from Greece to the states. Her infectious laugh instantly brought strangers into her warm orbit. After my Grandfather died, she lived with us for a year before returning to Greece. Our family dinners turned into rumpus events filled with laughter. I would often spit my milk across the table from laughing too hard. Especially, when my mother would gently scold her for feeding the family cat that was perched innocently on her lap from the table. She would then pick up that cat and apologetically say in Greek,"The lady of the house does not want me to feed you from the table." She'd later go into the kitchen and make the cat a hamburger.

When I asked Grandma Amelia about her arranged marriage, she told me how she sneaked over to the neighboring village to check out my Grandfather. If she didn't like the look of him the deal was off. But she did like the look of him. When I asked her if she loved him, she just shrugged. She never answered my question. In a way, I respect her for that. She didn't give it a glossy Hollywood ending. She married a guy she liked the look of moved to America raised three children and got to see her nine grandchildren graduate college. She was satisfied for the most part.

So go figure women can now pick their husbands and jobs. We do not have to rely on anyone for our financial security. We can work in the home or outside of the home. And at the end of the day, we still aren't happy. We are less happy in fact. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you how to be happy. Moreover, the cynic in me doesn't trust any person or institution that sells happiness. But I will ask you -- are you satisfied?

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Is There Enough Pie?

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:06:51 PDT

Nope I'm not going to discuss the merits of pie. (Although who doesn't love a good pie? I mean really is there anything better than a homemade pie?) Today, I am using the pie as a metaphor. So I'm going to ask you, how do you view the world in terms of the pie metaphor? Do you feel that there is just one pie and it's your job to get your piece of it? Or do you think there are an unlimited number of pies for you to get many pieces from?

My daughter is 3 1/2. It's a time in a child's development when children don't typically like to share. Oftentimes on the playground, you'll see a harried parent prying a sand shovel out of their pre-schooler's hand to turn it over to the rightful owner of that said sand shovel. The parent will look over at the other parent and say apologetically,"Billy has trouble sharing." Yeah, well so do most adults. When I watch the coverage of health care reform, I think of those adults with signs that read "Keep your hands of my health care." The people that are so upset that illegal immigrants might get health care. I often wonder, are they so far removed from their grandparents and great-grandparents or great, great grandparents that they forgot at some point their "people" were immigrants too?

Then my mind goes back to that pie metaphor. I believe some people think there is one big pie and you have to fight for what's yours. Fundamentally, I don't believe that. I believe that there are lots of pies and it's our job to share the pie with our fellow neighbors. As Rev. Ed Bacon says, "God is in the pie making business."

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

This is an excerpt from the poem The New Colossus written by Emma Lazarus in 1883. It's engraved on the Statue of Liberty. This poem reminds us that the United States is a haven for all people all over the world who are looking for a better life. I think of my grandparents who came here from Greece with no money, barely speaking English. Sure they came here to make money, but they came here for that promise. That promise of a better life. For a country that treats all people as equals regardless of their social or economic status. They came here to be a part of the democratic process. They came here to live a better life.

To live a better life you need to have health care. You need to be healthy. When you're not healthy, you need to be able to get medical care. For me this issue is not a red issue and it's not a blue issue. It's a moral issue. Morals and ethics... we've kinda tossed them out the window, haven't we? The concern now is getting that piece of pie, of holding on tightly to that sand shovel, that we forgot the basic principle of the playground. It's nice to share. It's the right thing to do.

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Hank is Trying to Seduce Me

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 07:40:34 PDT

Hank, my bathroom scale, is trying to seduce me. I told him that our relationship is over. Well over for the next 28 days while I am on the Slim For Life food plan. Hank and I have been through a lot of ups and downs over the years. He's been with me through Weight Watchers, the Atkin's Diet (that was more of an up than a down) and the South Beach Diet. He was virtually ignored during my pregnancy, especially towards the end when I tipped the scales at 174 pounds. And over the last few years, we have grown into more of a love/hate ... make that a hate/hate type relationship. He always disappoints me, but I go back for more, sometimes every day.

Today, while I was putting on my make-up, he was trying to tell me that this time it'll be different. That after all these years we can make it work. That I have in fact really changed this time. I can weigh myself and not get cocky or discouraged depending on the numbers. We have quite the mating ritual Hank and me. I have to weigh myself first thing in the morning in my birthday suit. I have to position Hank on the hard wood floor in the hallway because I am convinced that the tiling in the bathroom throws the reading off. I have to weigh myself not once, but three times to make sure that I am getting the most accurate number. Especially if the first time I weigh myself, it's a higher number than the one that's in my head.

This morning, I politely told Hank that we are officially on a break. He can go torment someone else for the next month because mentally I am being tortured enough for the time being, eating Mung beans for dinner. Besides, I can look in the mirror and see that my stomach looks slimmer. I can start to see the muscles in my arms again for the first time in a long time. I don't need him to tell me that this plan is working. I can see it with my own two eyes.

So Hank tried a different tactic. He asked me the question he knew I couldn't resist because I am truly a nosy cow. Aren't you curious? Don't you want to know the number? He almost got me. Yes, of course I want to know the number! He planted the seed in my mind. Maybe it would be a good thing to get a reading to just see where I am at. What could it hurt? Hank's right. I have really changed this time. This time I mean business. This time I am really ready to let go of all that excess baggage. See what I mean? Hank is good. Real good. He's so seductive. He knows how to say all the right things to get you hooked only to just get you where he wants you and then BAM!!! He doesn't just break your heart, he breaks your confidence.

I made my mind up. Hank, you and me have a date on October 8, 2009, the 28th day. So leave me alone. I need a break from you. You no know longer define me or how I feel about myself. You are just a bathroom scale. That's it and nothing more.

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Mastication Everybody Does It

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:09:28 PDT

To lose weight you really need to masticate. You know, chew your food really well. What did you think I meant? Oh, that. You have a dirty mind, but that's what I like about you. With the Slim For Life diet, you really have to chew your food really well. You are sort of forced to because you are eating stuff like yellow peppers and pine nuts which require you to master your mastication skills. Ever since college, I have been a fast eater. Fast eating is bad, bad, bad. Did you know that you can eat more if you don't chew your food properly? Yep, it's true. That can be a reason for over-eating. On the flip side, many food manufacturers actually engineer food so that it's easier to swallow, so you will eat more. Think adult baby food, it actually melts in your mouth without you really having to chew it. Pretty tricky and pretty icky.

We are on day three of the Slim For Life Diet and I wanted to write about some of the pros and cons of this diet.

PROS

It is one of the healthiest diets around you only really eat fresh fruit, veggies, chicken, beans, and fish.
You aren't hungry after you finish your meals. Yesterday, we had a hard time finishing our pepper, tomato, avocado, pine nut salad. You eat three meals, plus a morning and afternoon snack.
The recipes are tasty and do appeal to the palette. You use lots of fresh herbs which really do make a difference.
There's a lot of variety and you won't get bored. Everyday is a new culinary adventure for us as we explore new foods like organic miso, bok choy and lemon grass stalks.
It is easy to follow. Dr. McKeith outlines all the recipes in a super easy to follow outline. You just need to stick to the plan!
All you need is a so-so blender for the smoothies and veggie drinks. We have a seven year old Krups blender and it is working out just fine. So no worries on having to invest in a costly juicer.
It rids you of your bad habits by pointing them out to you. I didn't realize how often I was eating Alena's food, popping snacks in my mouth throughout the day or how much crappy food I was eating. I thought I was eating 80 percent healthy and 20 percent crap, when in fact I was eating probably 60 percent healthy and 40 percent crap.

CONS

It is time consuming. It did take some time to write out all the ingredients. I did need to go to two grocery stores (Trader Joes and Whole Foods) to get all our supplies.
You need to be a bit of a planner. My joke is that I am losing weight just prepping the snacks and meals.
It can be costly. I am figuring it's around $20 per person per day for this diet plan. But, you won't be eating out, spending money on wine or chocolate. So, I think it will balance out in the end.
You will have to do this diet with your spouse or sig other or whoever you eat your meals with because it is time consuming and you'll need the support. Like at lunch today, I told my husband he'd have to make Alena's spaghetti otherwise I'd be too tempted to scarf the whole bowl.
You do need to eat your morning and afternoon snacks otherwise you will find yourself like me yesterday shaking as I was preparing our lunch.
It's not for the faint of heart. To be successful on this plan, you'll need to really be ready to make a major life change. As we were walking back from the park today, he told me what he really wanted was Eggs Benedict,with a scone, on top of pancakes with a side of bacon. On the flip side, he discovered today at lunch, he likes beets.

How are we doing on the diet so far?

Eric, my husband, has lost two pounds. He told me that his jeans already felt looser. As for me, I haven't weighed myself yet. Me and Hank (my bathroom scale) we have a very unhealthy, co-dependent relationship. At the moment, Hank has waaay too much power. Depending on the numbers, he can make or break me. Here's the deal, if I weigh myself and I am not losing, I'll get discouraged. Alternately, if weigh myself and I am in fact losing I'll get cocky and start cheating. So for the time being, me an Hank are "on a break."

I have to admit I am a bit grumpy and gassy. You'd think eating all these fresh fruits and veggies I'd be pooing up a storm, but that is just not the case. My intestines are forming a sort of protest and are not doing their job. Apparently, Eric's having some "issues" as well. Here's our breakfast conversation over our strawberry, raspberry, pear and apple smoothies.

Me: I haven't had a good poop since we started this diet. How about you? (Yes, we talk about poop at the breakfast table).

Eric: I've gone, but nothing substantial.

I am somewhat relieved that he's having "issues" too. I thought that there was something wrong with me. We are like two soldiers in the trenches. I think this diet is good for our marriage. That is if our cravings don't force us to kill each other.

Me: How can this be?

Eric: Well, it can't last for long with all these fruits and vegetables. Somethings gonna happen. I feel something brewing.

At this we start laughing hysterically and I almost spit smoothie all over the table. We are both sitting at the table laughing like hallucinating junkies who are on their third day in rehab. This is what happens when you go without sugar, salt, fat, caffeine, chocolate, and bread.

Eric: Once it starts, it won't stop.

I am still laughing.

Me: You know I'm going to put this in my blog.

At this he starts laughing uncontrollably.

Slim For Life Diet Day 2

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 10:23:31 PDT

I recently had a startling realization. I am sort of fat. I have one full length mirror in my house and it's what my friend Gretchen calls "the Barbara Walters mirror." My condo was built in the 1920's and the mirror is faded and gives you this soft watery reflection, kinda like Barbara's soft lighting. I had two distinct incidents which let me know that I am fat.

Me vs the Mirrors in Old Navy
I was at Old Navy buying Alena some back-to-school clothes. Oh by the way, Old Navy has these really cool carts that are strollers. Pretty cool. I noticed that there were $5 t-shirts on sale for me. And who couldn't use a $5 tee? I was looking at the table of t-shirts wondering how the shirts fit. I have been burned by Old Navy in the past. The shapes and sizes of the clothes are funky. Not sure who they make them for, but the clothes all seem to be long and narrow...sort of the like the talking mannequins in the commercials. While I am tempted to put the shirt on over my clothes to see if it fits, I look over to see Alena riding the little mannequin Old Navy dog.

Me: Alena, please get off the dog.
Alena: Why?
Me: Because it's not there for you to ride like a pony.
Alena: What's it for?
Me: Just come here right NOW.

I start walking to the dressing room and on my way I find a cute black peasant skirt for $10. Who couldn't use a skirt for $10 bucks? We file into the dressing room and I start undressing. The lighting is horrible and the mirrors, the mirrors are evil. I turn around to look at my butt and I am horrified. The only good thing about this shopping trip it that I didn't spend much money. So I pushed this incident out of my mind because everyone knows Old Navy clothes just suck, it's not me. Ask anyone but the seventeen year olds who shop there.

Me vs The Trainer
It was a bright sunny Saturday morning and I am at the gym. There is a cute personal trainer sitting behind a table with a big sign that says "ASK THE TRAINER." I figure I want to know how I can work out four to five times a week and still be too fat to buy clothes at Old Navy. Clearly I am doing something wrong. So we are having a nice little chat about the merits of free weights verses the machines. He kindly suggests that I maybe take a class or two to really push me. I like school, but I hate exercise classes. I really do. My eyes then fix on a sign that says "FREE FAT TEST."

ME: You do free fat tests?
TRAINER: Yeah sure.

He picks out the little clamper thingy and starts pulling at my arm, stomach and thigh fat. I feel like a hiefer for sale at the state fair. He's pinching and pulling me and writing down numbers. He does this twice just to be sure. I am really getting a bad feeling about this. Denial is just so much more satisfying and easier on the psyche. He goes back to his lap top and punches in the numbers.

TRAINER: Okay, you are at 33.3 for body fat. For someone your height you should be at 26. No, make that 25.
ME: That doesn't sound so bad. 33. (In my mind I am thinking I am a healthy goddess as I stand up to go workout)
TRAINER: Wait a minute, let's see what that is in pounds. (He punches in more numbers).
ME: In pounds? GULP
TRAINER: 33.3 equals 50 pounds of body fat.
ME: Whaaaat??? 50 pounds?
TRAINER: To get a sense of that go pick up a 50 pound weight.
ME: Um, yeah, I think I have a sense of what 50 pounds is. Thanks for the suggestion though.

He then sympathetically hands me his card and tells me that I can get a deal on training sessions. I walk away feeling like I am a mammoth beluga whale walking around in gym shorts with an iPod stuck in my ears.

So it's time to do something. I am addicted to this show on BBC America, You Are What You Eat. This holistic nutritionist Gillian Mc Keith MD inspects peoples tongues, the bottoms of their feet and their poo. I bet you didn't know that your poo says a lot about you, especially if you are healthy. Most of the clients she works with are over 200 pounds and their diet habits are, well, pretty bad. One man would eat Shepherd's Pie in the middle of the night and she got him to lose 40 pounds eating Mung beans. So I figure if the man who can balance a Shepherd's pie on his stomach can change his lifestyle and eating habits, so can I.

So I (and my hubby too) am on day two of the Slim For Life diet. The tag line is "Step by step, day by day, I will make it easy for you." I had warm water with lemon and a banana/peach/rice milk/mango smoothie for breakfast. It is a 28 day plan. I am going to write about it every so often. I hope that you will all keep me honest and on track.

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THE BEST SNACK BARS -- BAR NONE

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:30:38 PDT

I recently spent the week in Savannah hanging out with my in-laws. We were going to the beach and Alena asked for a snack. My mother in-law pulled out a LARABAR. Not only are these bars yummy, but they are only made with THREE ingredients!!! The main ingredient is always dates then they blend in fruit and nuts.

I gotta tell ya, I know it's back-to-school time and you're looking for something healthy, tasty and satisfying to give your kids. Then these are the snack bars for you. They come in tropical fruit, peanut butter cookie, banana bread (this is Alena's fav),cherry pie, cinnamon roll, lemon bar, apple pie, cashew cookie,key lime pie,ginger snap, coconut cream pie, and pistachio.

If food allergies are an issue for you or your family, here's what LARABARS don't have:

No added sugar
Unprocessed
Raw
Non-GMO (that's genetically modified organisms meaning they're all natural no chemist created them and that's a very good thing!!!)
Gluten Free
Dairy Free
Soy Free
Vegan
Kosher

These bars retail for under $2 and are available at local Whole Foods, Target and Kroger stores. You can also purchase them online at LARABAR. I'm telling you, they are the best snack bars, bar none!

The 411 on 911 Situations

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:28:05 PDT

We all have those 911 moments in life. Although being an adult does come with its share of paperwork, sadly there is no manual. I mean seriously, what is up with all the paperwork? Anyway, I had some 911 situations come up and learned some lessons the hard way. Is there an easy way to learn a lesson? I know not, but in any event I hope these tips help you.

Going to the ER --Do you stay or do you go?

In my house, a trip to the ER stirs up quite a bit of debate. Do we stay or do we go? So here's a rule of thumb straight from my doctor's mouth - if you are bleeding for more than an hour, go to the ER. I sat with my bleeding pinkie for five hours before I drove to the ER in the middle of the night.

When it comes to your kids, my doc always says,"It's better to be safe than sorry, especially when dealing with fevers over 103. When in doubt just go."

Appliance Breakdown -- It's Alright

Our dishwasher started leaking water. It's clearly broken. I spent an hour on the phone trying to find someone to repair it, since it's no longer covered under a warranty. Then, I looked on the dishwasher and what did I see? I number from Frigidaire for parts and services. I called the number and the lovely customer service representative gave me two numbers for manufacturer service companies in my area. So the next time one of your appliances breaks down, look on the appliance for the parts & repair number and save yourself a lot of time and grief.

Broken Windows

First of all, if you lock yourself out of your house call a locksmith. It's a lot cheaper than fixing a broken window. Trust me on this one. There are 24 hour window repair companies that will come out to your house in an hour or two. BUT it can take up to three to five days to get the replacement window and the cost of paying the company to board up your window can start at $200. I broke a 2x2 window in my office and the cost of the repair for the glass alone cost $245. So breaking into your house can break your bank. So keep that in mind, when you are about to break into your house.

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Parenting: Love vs Obligation

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 07:51:25 PDT

Have your ever had those days, weeks, months where being a parent seems like a life sentence with no hope whatsoever of a reprieve? If being a parent has just been an experience of utter bliss compounded with another layer of bliss. Then read no further. If,like me, you find that the novelty of being a parent has worn off a bit, then read on

Love vs obligation

Many of us find ourselves in the role of caretaker. We have children, parents, and friends who rely on us for not just moral support but to have their basic needs met. As we all know, being a caretaker can quickly deplete us of the energy we need. And what happens when we have no energy? Like a pot of boiling water, the resentment builds and builds until it boils over and burns the very people we are taking care of.

When you remember WHY you are working so hard to take care of your loved ones it changes the intention you bring to your caretaking role. And why are we taking care of all these people? Because we love them. Yes, love. And because we care too. When you do something because you care rather than because you have to, it completely changes your perspective. Love can move us away from the resentment that can build from those feelings of obligation. When you focus on the love you have, you will also notice an increase in energy and well-being.

Does your life matter?

Oftentimes we feel like that little gerbil on the wheel, spinning round and round but never really getting anywhere. We wonder if all of our efforts are really making a difference. The question we ask is does my life matter? Answer these two simple questions instead:

What would the world lose if you stopped doing all that you do?

Do you wish to see the cup of your life as half full or half empty?

We take for granted all that we do. Your skills and what you do everyday for the people you love are your unique gift that you bring to the world. So remember that you do what you do out of love and be sure to honor those efforts. Because parents just like you are the true everyday heroes.

If you want to learn more about the stress management skills outlined here, please read Stress Free for Good by Dr. Fred Luskin and Dr. Kenneth R. Pelletier.

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Gratitude is an Attitude

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:07:40 PDT

Last week was one of those weeks. The universe was not on my side, it was standing behind me kicking me in the ass. The week started with a rejection email from an agent. The time was 7:05 am. She was nice enough to give me some feedback. I emailed her back to let her know that I am working on a new draft and asked if she'd like to see it. Her response was a curt "No thanks. Not that interested in the entire premise of the book. I have seen it before." Ouch. By Wednesday, I thought I'd lost my keys so I was forced to break into my house only to break a window instead. This break in cost us $245. Ouch. Friday, I cut the tip of my pinkie off slicing tomatoes. Ouch. Then on Saturday our computer didn't just crash it exploded. Ouch.

What did this week teach me? How lucky I am. Truly lucky, blessed beyond measure in fact. No, I am not insane. I didn't feel particularly blessed when the window guy was nice enough to tell me that it would be cheaper to call a locksmith than to break a window. Nor did I feel particularly blessed when I was driving to the ER by myself in the middle of the night. When things go pear shaped that's when we see how much people love us. Like when my brother drove in a rain storm to help my husband board up the broken window. Or when my friend Rosemarie decided to bring me banana bread and sit with me in the ER because she couldn't sleep. Or when my friend Gretchen took Alena for a few hours to give us a break on Saturday morning. Or when my mother-in-law Nancy lent us money to buy a new computer and help pay our bills.

We live in a society that's about MORE, MORE, MORE. Bigger is always better. We want the newest car, the biggest house and we aren't happy until our iPod can hold a gallizon gigga bites. And trust me all those things are nice. But when it comes down to it happiness isn't about stuff, or a book deal or even computers that work. Happiness comes from how grateful we are for what we do have, especially the people who love us. Gratitude truly is an attitude.

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Yoga for Your Face

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:34:04 PDT

Yes, there's yoga for your face. It's called smiling. Yes, smiling. Try it right now. Just smile. Nope, not like that. That fake freaky strained smile is literally scaring the children. Take a deep breath, think of all the love you have to offer the world and smile. Isn't that better? Don't you feel better?

Research done by Dr. Paul Ekman at the University of California School of Medicine in San Francisco (yep they do research on smiling) has found that smiling registers in the part of the brain called the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus is the part of the brain where endorphins are produced and many hormones are regulated. You know what endorphins are they are those opiates that relieve pain and give us a sense of pleasure, peace, well-being and euphoria. You stimulate endorphins when you fall in love, eat chocolates, drink wine and when you SMILE. So super easy.

Here's a little smile yoga exercise for you:

Shut your eyes, and imagine that you're as loving as you wish to be and as loved as you wished to be.

Visualize and feel a wonderful state of giving and getting all the love you want for ten seconds.

Then open your eyes. How do you feel?

This smile yoga post comes to you from a fun little book I highly recommend titled Stress Free for Good: 10 Scientifically Proven Life Skills for Health and Happiness by Dr. Fred Luskin and Dr. Kenneth R. Pelletier.

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Vaccinations & Autism -- Is there a Link?

mommaslitthelper@yahoo.com (Amelia Dellos) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:31:17 PDT

According the the Web site Autism Speaks.org, 1 out 150 children is diagnosed with Autism. The big question on most parents minds is -- is there a link between Autism and vaccines? We all want to believe that there isn't a link. Our doctors tell us time and again that the studies confirm that there just isn't a link between Autism and vaccines. End of story. Right? But what I have learned through researching this topic is that is only half of the story. The former head of the National Institutes of Health Dr. Bernadine Healy will tell you what your family doctor won't.

Here's in an excerpt from a May 2008 article featured on The Huffington Post, by journalist David Kirby in which Dr. Healy was quoted.

"I think public health officials have been too quick to dismiss the hypothesis as 'irrational,' without sufficient studies of causation... without studying the population that got sick," Dr. Healy told Attkisson. "I have not seen major studies that focus on 300 kids who got autistic symptoms within a period of a few weeks of the vaccines."

This is especially true if there is a subset of children who are particularly susceptible to such environmental triggers. "Populations do not test causality," Dr. Healy said, "they test associations."

And she noted, "We do have the opportunity to understand whether or not there are susceptible children -- perhaps medically, perhaps they have a metabolic issue, mitochondrial disorder, medical issue -- that makes them more susceptible to vaccines, plural, or to one particular vaccine, or to a component of vaccines, like mercury."

Dr. Healy is a member of the IOM: "I love Institute of Medicine," she said, "but a report from 2004 basically said, 'Do not pursue susceptibility groups. Don't look for those children who may be vulnerable.' I really take issue with that conclusion."

The reason why officials didn't want to look for those groups? "Because they were afraid that, if they found them, however big or small they were, that would scare the public away," Dr. Healy explained. "They don't want to pursue this hypothesis because it could be damaging to the public health community at large by scaring people. I don't believe the truth ever scares people."

Dr. Healy is hardly "anti-vaccine," and neither am I. In fact, I agree completely that, "if we identified a particular risk factor for vaccines, or if we found out that they should be spread out a little longer, I do not believe that the public would lose faith in vaccines. I think the public is smarter than that. You should never turn your back on any scientific hypothesis because you are afraid of what it might show."

What it "might show" is precisely what attorneys are arguing this month in vaccine court: According to research from the University of Washington, primates exposed to thimerosal had an accumulation of mercury in their brains. Similar accumulation has been shown to activate certain brain cells, producing "neuro-inflammation" and brain swelling. Autopsies on deceased people with autism also show chronic neuro-inflammation and activation of the same brain cells, known as glial cells.

Like many people reading this post, Dr. Healy at first considered the vaccine-autism link to be "silly." But, she said, "the more you delve into it, if you look at the basic science, if you look at the research that has been done in animals, if you look at some of the individual cases, and if you look at the evidence that there is no link, what I come away with is, the question has not been answered."

Now our home town girl, Jenny McCarthy is being either lauded as a courageous or a whack job in the media because of her assertion that vaccines caused her son's Autism. I must say that in researching this post, time and time again I ran across the same story. Parents who say that their child changed after receiving vaccinations (The MMR vaccine is known as the "Autism shot") at two years of age. They all said the same thing,"It was as if a light went out in my child." Please click here for Jenny McCarthy's story in her own words. I honestly admire the work that she has done on behalf of Autism and her crusade to get to the bottom of the Autism-Vaccine link.

So where does this leave us? With more questions than answers I am afraid. I would love to report back to you that there isn't a link. Your kids are safe. The bottom line is that at this point, scientists, doctors, the government...simply do not what is causing Autism. Moreover, more testing needs to be done especially on children who present systems after receiving their shots.

For more information, please visit:

Fourteen Studies

Generation Rescue

Stay tuned for the last in my vaccine series -- The Anti-Vaccine Movement.