For those of you that haven't read it (read it) or don't know much about Earl Weaver let me tell you a little bit about him. He managed the Baltimore Orioles for seventeen seasons carrying a .583 winning percentage and only finishing with a losing record once. His Orioles team won six division championships, four American League pennants and one World Series. He was also ejected from over 90 games and is 5'6" tall. (That last thing doesn't really have anything to do with anything, I just like to point out when famous people are shorter than me.) He did all this in the pre-Wild Card era in the AL East. He was really great and I don't understand why every manager isn't forced to study his book like 1999 Vince studied Sable's issue of Playboy.

Watching Ron Roenicke manage it is clear that nobody ever forced him to study it and he's probably never even read it. (In Ron's defense it's not like his brother had the best years of his career playing under Weaver or anything. Oh wait...) This is strange because I've always had the feeling that the way Earl Weaver managed a team and the way Doug Melvin built are a team are nearly identical. Weaver's managerial philosophy was "pitching, defense and the three-run homer" and if that doesn't sound like a team Doug Melvin would like to build I don't know what does. (I say would like to build because the scars of Yuniesky Betancourt are still fresh.) Unfortunately for Doug somewhere along the way things got crossed up and he hired (another) manager who doesn't follow Weaver's 10 Laws. Instead he employs someone who breaks at least five of them on a daily basis. This is not good, but the good news is that the answers are RIGHT THERE ON AMAZON.COM and all Roenicke has to do to better himself as a manager is to read this book.

Or this blog post. Either way.

Weaver's Second Law: If you don't make any promises to your players you won't have to break them.

Earl Weaver said that relievers who need to know their role "don't get it" and when they would ask him what their role was he would tell them that their role is to "warmup when I tell you and come in the game and pitch when I tell you." Simple, right? Not to Ron Roenicke.

Ron Roenicke likes EVERYONE to have a role. John Axford is the closer, K-Rod is the set-up man, whoever hasn't sucked lately is the 7th inning man, Kameron Loe is the "throw 50 pitches everyday until your arm falls off" guy and Manny Parra is the give up a homerun guy. I can only think of one game this season where Roenicke being a slave to roles cost us (extra innings against San Francisco when Dillard was used with Axford available), but that doesn't mean it won't happen again. Sometimes games are lost in the fifth and sometimes they are lost in the ninth, but the ninth doesn't matter if you don't get there.

(OH AND IT ALSO HAPPENED IN THE DECIDING GAME OF THE SEASON LAST YEAR, BUT I SAID I WOULD STOP MENTIONING THAT.)

Weaver's Third Law: The easiest way around the bases is with one swing of the bat.

Do I think Ron Roenicke is anti-homerun? No.

Are the Brewers built to hit homeruns? Yes.

Do I think that Ron Roenicke realizes this? No.

Weaver's Fourth Law: Your most precious possessions on offense are your twenty-seven outs.
Weaver's Fifth Law: If you play for one run, that's all you'll get.
Weaver's Sixth Law: Don't play for one run unless you know that run will win a ballgame.

Bunching these all together because they really all say the same thing which is: STOP WASTING YOUR OUTS.

Here is something that happened in real life on Wednesday. Barry Zito is on the mound. In the first inning. Corey Hart gets a walk and then Norichika Aoki, one of the hottest hitters on the team right now, comes up to bat and... attempts a sacrifice. What?! (Note: I haven't seen this play myself, but that's how the box score reads. In theory he could be going for a bunt hit, but that still takes the bat out of the hand of one of your hottest hitters so the following point stands.)

This isn't the first time this has happened and it certainly won't be the last. Ron Roenicke loves giving away his outs for some reason. Despite having a lineup that will almost assuredly be one of the top homerun hitting teams in the league when it's all said and done, Ron Roenicke thinks that his team needs runners in scoring position at all times to score. Is that it?

Or is Ron Roenicke truly that afraid of double plays? What if when Ron Roenicke was in little league he got to bat in the last inning of the championship game and proceeded to ground into a game ending double play. Little Ronnie never forgave himself for that double play and promised himself that one day he would be a major league manager and make sure it never happened again. Also, he would never smile again.

There's been a lot of talk about Rickie Weeks and whether or not the Brewers should bench him. If he's hurt (which he could be, but nobody seems to want to talk about that) then he should rest, but if he's not he should play. Why? Because you don't get better at hitting major league pitching unless you face major league pitching. The same notion should apply to the lineup. Let them swing their bats out of their slumps.

Look, I'm not dumb. I know that the Brewers offense is still driven by power and that the offense only relies on these tactics occasionally, but giving away outs is wrong and shouldn't be done. Does Roenicke know that? He loves buntin' and stealin', does he realize that he could be doing more harm than help with this stuff? He has to realize that the Brewers are a power hitting team though, right? When the Brewers are down by four runs and Ron calls for a bunt (which happened) he means a bunt hit, right? Right?

These things don't always come up, but they come up enough that I think about it and that's too much. Fix this please. The Brewers are not the Angels you used to coach. Start acting like it.

ANSWER: Ryan Braun, duh. Who else would it be?

The answer to that question is not surprising. Ryan Braun is the man. He's one of the best hitters in the league and one of the best hitters the Milwaukee Brewers franchise has ever seen. So, yeah, duh. No big surprise there.

What has surprised us though is who the Brewers second most valuable player has been because that guy is someone that we didn't see coming. That guy has always been a valuable member of the franchise, but it's never been anything quite like this. That guy has become the most popular player on the team and the new king of Milwaukee. That guy is Jonathan Lucroy.

I know, I can't believe it either. (I wanted it to be you Rickie. Sorry if the pressure got to you.)

In a season where everything seems to go wrong for the Milwaukee Brewers, everything has seemed to go right for Jonathan Lucroy. His outs come at times when the Brewers don't need him and his hits seem to come exactly when they do. Every ball he hits hard finds its way between the outfielders and every time he steps up with runners on they end up scoring. He's gritty and clutch and "a gamer" and all those other things people like to write about. (And, omg, he is so dreamy.) Jonathan Lucroy is absolutely killing it right now. I can't explain why it's happening. Baseball is a crazy game and these things just happen sometime so we should all just enjoy this while it lasts because who knows when it will end. Okay?

This isn't the part where we talk about advanced stats and do that whole thing. This is the part where we enjoy it. This is the part where we ride it out and see how long this good thing can last. This is the part where we buy a bunch of Jonathan Lucroy jerseys (not shirseys, jerseys) and crown him our new King. This is the fun part. Got it?

Good.

Now if the Spiderman movies have taught me anything it's something something Kirsten Dunst's nipples that with great power comes great responsibility. We can't say how long Jonathan Lucroy will be the King of Milwaukee, but we can advise him not to waste his time at the top. (We don't want a repeat of the Casey McGehee debacle of 2010.) We want this to work. We want to love you forever and ever. So here's five tips to make that possible.

1. Say something cool in an interview.

I know it sounds ridiculous because, seriously, who gives a shit, but trust me on this one. Here's a recent Lucroy game quote:

"I'm just happy to help my team win any way I can. I'm just trying to have good ABs and hit the ball hard somewhere."

Zzzzzzzz. Lighten up dog!

Last week Corey Hart said "When you think you hit rock bottom, there's worse" and people all over the state were swooning over him. "He gets it, he gets what we're going through," we thought and Corey Hart bought himself a slump because you know what he gets it, he's trying his darnedest out there. That could be you. Say something like that. Not quite cookie cutter, but not quite deep into your psyche either. Throw them a bone and reap the rewards of strangers in Wausau singing your praises.

Or you could be my best friend forever and say something like "hey, maybe we should stop giving away our outs early in the game" the next time Roenicke plays for one run in the first inning.

(More on this point in our next post: "Earl Weaver vs. Ron Roenicke")

2. Smile, but only once.

On Sunday Jonathan Lucroy was forced to give a curtain call to the fans at Miller Park. I say forced because he looked like he'd rather be giving a colonoscopy to Khloe Kardashian. Look at the poor guy.

Look I know you take the game very seriously (and we love you for that) and there is a lot going on for you as a catcher, but this is a curtain call in a game that the Brewers couldn't lose if they let Braden Looper pitch. Enjoy the moment! Gimme just a little smile.

3. Make up with Randy Wolf.

Look, I am the biggest hetero male George Kottaras fan you can find. I have a big picture of him in the center of my vision board and I think the Brewers should try to get him in there whenever they can, but even I admit that this exclusive catcher for Randy Wolf thing is going too far. When someone is physically taking a team's offense and carrying it on his back up a flight of stairs with rocks tied to his shoes like Jonathan Lucroy has been doing then he needs to play as much as possible.

So go up to Randy Wolf and say you're sorry if you have to, tell him you think his girlfriend is pretty and get back in there on his days. Even anyone really needs your offense, it's him.

4. Get some new at-bat music.

Look, I'm not one to make fun of other people's taste in music (I am), but you have to admit that your current at-bat music "Fight Inside" by Red isn't exactly for everybody. For one it's Christian Rock which is a divisive genre to say the least. Second, these are some sample lyrics:

It's still the same, pursuing pain
Isn't worth the light I've gained
We both know how this will end
But I do it again

That pumps you up? You hear that and think "hell heck yeah I am going to go get me some baseball hits"? Really? If that's your thing then more power to you, but it's not exactly having the same effect on your fans. Some of us don't really need to think about our internal struggle with the existence of God during your walk from the on-deck circle to the plate. (Or maybe that's just me?)

My advice to you is to keep it light and recognizable. Baseball is still a game and we should try to keep it fun, even when we're being serious. Here's a few recommendations for you:

1. Jay-Z - Run This Town: This is a pretty literal choice. The only reason you would pick it is because you actually do run this town and you want everyone to realize your awareness of this fact.
2. Europe - The Final Countdown: I mean, if I was a baseball player this would be my music so...
3. Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off: It's pro-abstinence stance makes it a good stand-in for your previous religion tinged at-bat music, but it's much easier to stand up and dance to. Will also make you very popular with those who sneak in their own cherry wine. Uh-huh.
4. Rush - Tom Sawyer: True story: Gregg Zaun didn't get a hit for his first 99 at-bats as a Brewer (and then he got hurt), but he was never booed once because he used Rush as his at-bat music. Think about it.

Or you could just go with the greatest piece of music ever created.

(Do that. Please do that.)

5. Don't get hurt. Ever.

k? thanks.

We got your innuendos right HEEEEERE!!!

There's a lot to talk about in terms of the Milwaukee Brewers right now. Team savior Carlos Gomez is back after a short DL stint, Corey Hart got a start at first base, Brooks Conrad was sent back to Nashville (though we can't be entirely sure he was ever even promoted in the first place), Jonathan Lucroy matched Cesar Izturis' lifetime RBI total in one game, and the team remains mired in its prolonged slump.

Really, I don't even know where to begin. So, instead, I'll just add some updates to Miller Park Drunk's ever-growing list of Brewers sexual innuendos because that seems like more fun right now.

Vince wrote a staggering 50 of them last year. Working with his solid foundation, I figured 25 or so more should do the trick. So strap on your perv helmets (a strap-on dildo affixed to your forehead or a toupee made of pubic hair you found in a hospital dumpster) and enjoy our 2012 Brewers Sexual Innuendos.

1. I'm gonna Rollie Fingers up and down your Kottaras.
2. Now it Burnitz when I pee. Still worth it.
3. Would you be my (Jose) Valentine?
4. She can Dusseldorf my brat any time.
5. I wish there was a hotline to see when her roof is open!
6. You should see her Bob Wick, man!
7. I can't promise it'll be a Kwik Trip to her mound.
8. I also usually score when I attempt the squeeze play.
9. I've seen Manny Parra titties in my day, but yours are my favorite
10. Uecker? I Hardly Know Her!
11. I'm not into sausage races. I'm more of a sausage MARATHON kind of guy.
12. Somewhere in Japan, Ichiro Jones also has a massive erection.
13. I'm always up for a double switch.
14. My section is anything but nut free on select home games.
15. Sedar? You brought her!
16. The foot of my bed is also considered the Kalahari Splash Zone. You see, this is a reference to squirting.
17. After I mishandle your urine, you'll get off too.
18. I want to take my K-Rod to your Ax Wound (I got outside help on this one).
19. Girl, I'm gonna make you an honorary Maysonet after I brick all up in your snizz.
20. Let's see how Mike Hunt handles this column.
21. I'm going to ruin you worse than the Jeffrey Hammonds signing ruined the Brewers of the early 2000s.
22. By the time you're done hitting the headboard, you'll forget Jeff Liefer was ever on the Brewers... I mean, again.
23. You're going to Chulk on it, baby.
24. They call me Dick Weeks 'cuz I got penis for days and days.
25. You, me, a single occupancy bathroom on the 400 level, a bottle of Secret Stadium Sauce. You fill in the rest.

BONUS -- fellow MPD contributor Stephanie emailed a few innuendos of her own.

26.Well obvs. Marcum writes itself, ahhaha 'cum'
27. Kameron, blow my Loe'd/load
28. I'll put your Norichika in my Aoki
29. I'd take a peek at KRod's meat rod
30. I'd get sticky from Rickie
31. Tickle my Clittaras/Kottaras
32. I wouldn't mind giving you a Dirty Gomez
33. I just shaved my warning track
34. I'd take a yank on Grienke's crank
35. I'd let the MVP get in my VAG

Have any to add? Put 'em in the comments. You know, or don't. Whatever.

One of these sites would be LosersBracket which seems like your basic "pictures of hot girls mixed with sports opinions" site. Kind of a poor man's Busted Coverage. These sites are great because you don't really need to have any knowledge of sports to run one and you'll still get hits because omgboobz. I would normally just ignore their content, but sometimes someone writes something so bad, so dumb, so devoid of intelligence that you have to do something to it. You have to FJM it.

Milwaukee Brewers, Fire Sale Time? by SteveGoat

Losers, baseball fans, Wisconsin residents, I ask the above question; Is it fire sale time for the Milwaukee Brewers?

No.

Due to a number of factors, the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season looks to be all but over. Well, not over in the fact that we can still go enjoy the beautiful Miller Park, enjoy the food, and, most importantly, peruse the parking lot for hotties…..

Have you ever even been to Miller Park? Seriously, who are the creeps walking from lot to lot hitting on random girls? This never happens.

but it looks to be over for playoff and World Series dreams.

Because 36 games is the same as 162. It's not like there are two wild cards or anything.

A number of factors have contributed to my fear it is fire sale time and that The Brewers may cruise to a 90+ loss season.

1.) I'm dumb.
2.) I'm stupid.
3.) I have no idea what I am talking about.
4.) I'm like 15 years old.

-The Brewers miss Prince Fielder more than ever. Sure, Prince only has 5 hrs and is hitting .278, but there is no doubt the Crew is missing his emotional presence and his protection in the line up.

Hard to argue with this one. Manny Parra's play can actually be directly attributed to no longer being afraid that Prince will attack him in the dugout, Nyjer Morgan was recently caught listening to Air Supply while looking at a picture of Prince and Ryan Braun's 1.002 OPS is clearly suffering from the lack of Prince.

-Injuries; This team is riddled by injuries. Alex Gonzales, Matt Gamel Toe (this one really hurts, we had a sweet t-shirt all ready to roll out), Narv Dog and Spaz Gomez are all hurt.

That's three dumb nicknames and one misspelled name if you are keeping score. Quite the fan we got here.

For those wondering what the sweet t-shirt looked like we have obtained a picture of it:

None of these guys are all stars, but they are A TON better than their replacements. Look, Mayonnaiseonette is cool, smooth looking and hit a grand slam, but he was a 30 year old minor leaguer for a reason.

Make that four dumb nicknames.

Also, Maysonet isn't even the starter.

Gamel Toe was OK, but he is better….MILES better than Green and his goofy stance and middle aged man hair cut.

Mat Gamel career minor league OPS: .873
Taylor Green career minor league OPS: .828

(And it's a lot closer than that if you take away their age 19 seasons.)

But, hey, don't let the numbers fool you. Clearly based on his batting stance and haircut Taylor Green blows. NERDDDDDD!

Also, Taylor Green is in a platoon with Travis Ishikawa who currently is hitting MILES better than Gamel was.

On and on….this team is reduced to half a major league line up and the other half is merely minor league talent. Cant win games with this….just cant.

The loss of two starters for the season = half the lineup.

Apostrophes = pointless.

-The players who are healthy are just not on. Rickie Weeks……..WHAT THE HELL IS UP?! Weeks is hitting under .200 AS A LEADOFF GUY! I don’t know what the problem with Weeks is, but this just can be tolerated.

You're right it can be tolerated. First good point you've made!

Either Weeks wakes up or he needs to ride the pine.

Oh, you meant "can't be tolerated."

Didn't you just say that the replacements for the injured players aren't good enough? Who do you think would play in place of Rickie? Paul Molitor?

Corey Hart. He is ok…just ok….still strikes out WAY too much and shows no plate discipline.

He also hits for power WAY too much and gets too many clutch hits.

Also, okay instead of ok. Seriously, it's two more letters.

The fact of the matter is that The Brewers only have one person in their lineup who opponents fear…Ryan Braun. With injuries, players not performing and only one real weapon, the Brewers can only score 1-3 runs a game, which puts a TON of pressure on their pitchers.

They only have one MVP on the team? What losers!

The Brewers are currently averaging over 4 runs a game, by the way.

-Someone help me with this one. Maybe our new sports guy can help me.

I doubt it.

WHY WHY do The Brewers always make no name/first start pitchers look like Cy Young award winners? I think it comes back to the fact that they are not professional hitters like…say….The Cardinals are, and that they have no plate discipline.

lol.

Who knows.

You certainly don't.

All I know is that, if I were playing the Brewers, I would trot out any no name scrub pitcher to mow them on down.

Great now our secret is out. Now this is going to happen.

Charlie Manuel: Who's starting today?
Rich Dubee: Roy Halladay.
Charlie Manuel: Against the Brewers? Nonsense! Get me Braden Looper!
Rich Dubee: But.. Halladay is one of the greatest pitchers of all time and Looper is out of the league.
Charlie Manuel: Exactly. *puts on sunglasses* *drives away in a convertible*

Thanks a lot, LosersBracket!

-I love the Crew, I know my rants often times look like I don’t, but we had something special last year and it hurts to see it ruined by injuries, player departures and sub par performances by Weeks, T-Plush and the rest.

I don't think your rants make it look like you don't love the Brewers. I think that your rants make it look like you don't have a fully functioning brain. Big difference.

The above rants leads us to the question….Is it fire sale time?

No.

Should The Brewres trade some players for prospects?

No. The Milwuake Brewres should definitely not trade some players for prospects.

We all know that the farm system is severely lacking in talent…especially hitters.

I know this because I saw someone say it on ESPN after the Greinke trade. They couldn't possibly have a lot of good talent in the lower levels.

Should we explore trading the under performing Weeks? He is an all star talent 2nd basemen who is in a funk of all time.

I bet being in a funk of all time is frickin' awesome.

Funk is on a roll,
Funk is on a roll,
Funk is on a roll.

Maybe a change of scenery would help Weeks and the Crew could get a talent injection.

Because teams normally trade major league talent for major league talent and give up good players for guys hitting .159. GREAT PLAN DUDE!

Talent Injection would be a sweet name for a band though.

Should the Crew move some pitchers? You can bet teams would fall over for Greinke, Gallardo……any of our arms. I know, trading pitching for hitting is a wash at times, but hell….this team needs hitters.

There a lot of dumb things in this article, but this may be the worst. There are just so many things wrong with this idea. Things like:

• Thinking the team needs hitting when it is averaging 4 runs a game.
• Thinking of trading the pitchers for hitting, but not putting any thought into who might pitch if the pitchers were traded.
• The "trading pitching for hitting is a wash at times" line which makes about as much sense as the season finale of How I Met Your Mother. (Quinn )
• Not caring because this team needs hitters.

*In my eyes, the only players who would be untouchable are; Ryan Braun who is the face of the franchise. Greinke, he loves it here and is our ACE. Lucroy, dude is one of the best catchers in the game…keep him around. Build around these three players.*

Just replace the other 22. Then we'll be awesome again.

At least you got two out of three right. If the Brewers fall out of contention Zack Greinke should be priority #1 to trade. Nice try though.

I leave it to you losers. I don’t know much about baseball,

Understatement of the year.

but I do know the Brewers need some help and especially need some professional hitters in their lineup. Just watch the Cardinals’ hitters approach at the plate compared to the Brewers’ hitters…..its night and day and its a big reason for the gap between the two teams…even before all the injuries.

Cardinals team walks: 132
Brewers team walks: 108

Cardinals team strikeouts: 280
Brewers team strikeouts: 282

The plate discipline is NIGHT AND DAY!

And now for a poll.

What should the Brewers do if they continue to lose games

• Stand pat. They have a ton of injuries. Its a lost season, but they will rebound, next year, when healthy.
• FIRE SALE TIME. Explore trade options for some of the underperforming players who have talent (Weeks)
• FIRE SALE TIME!!. Trade some arms for bats. This team needs hitters.
• Who cares. Miller Park is cool, the food is good and there are hotties who tailgate.
• The Packers start training camp in July

What, no option for "the season is young let's wait it out"? I'm shocked.

Lately when I take to twitter it hasn't been a lot of fun. All I seem to be doing is defending the Brewers and trying to talk people off of the ledge. This is pretty crazy to me because it's May 15th and we're still a good 126 games away from the end of the season. A LOT CAN HAPPEN. Hell, I just wrote about the season not being over a week ago. Are we giving up again already? Since I wrote that post the Brewers have gone 4-3. Not exactly the streak you've been looking for, but hey they are better off than they were (and if they kept playing like that they'd win 88 games. #justsaying) Oh, and their starters have been really awesome since that post too. Zack Greinke has put in two genius performances, Marcum threw another gem and... you know what? That's not what this is about. I'm not here to tell you not to worry or to relax because I realize the problem runs much deeper than that.

You see I've thought for a long time that if I could just make some strong points about why the Brewers are actually better than their most recent results then people would see a clearer picture and agree with me and thus feel better about the baseball team. Sometimes we all need a little wake up call and that is a post I enjoy writing because people have been telling me to grow wake up my entire life. It's worked in the past, but what I've come to realize is that some people don't need a wake up call. Some people are just doing it wrong. Some people are watching the Brewers for the wrong reasons. Some people think like this:

And that's just a bad idea. What fun would that be anyway? 35-0, what would be the point of even watching? Oh, the Brewers won again big frickin' deal. I don't even want these George Webb burgers. That isn't what life is about and it certainly isn't what baseball is about. If you are watching the Brewers like this then I think you need some help and I want to be the one to do it. I am going to help you learn to enjoy baseball the Miller Park Drunk way and, no, I don't mean just getting drunk the whole time. (Although that does work too.) I am talking about watching baseball and liking what you see it. Do you think you can handle that? Let's do it.

Remember that there are two teams playing. Two teams that want to win.

Remember Sunday when the Cubs beat the Brewers? A lot of people seemed offended that the last place Cubs dare beat the Brewers, but no matter how much better one team is than another that team will still win games. The 2003 Tigers lost 119 games which doesn't even really seem possible, but they still won 43 games. Yeah, it sucks to lose to that team, but you can't expect them to just lie down for you. That team had Mike Maroth go 9-21 as a starter which is crazy bad, but again there is the 9 wins. Would it suck to lose to that pitcher? Of course it would (we should know we just lost to Miguel Batista,) but he wouldn't have started 33 games if he wasn't just a little bit talented. Even a pitcher with a 8.00 ERA doesn't give up a run every inning.

Sometimes the Brewers will lose to a team that they "should" beat and sometimes they will beat a team that they "shouldn't." It's not a big deal and it doesn't take you out of playoff contention to lose to the Padres.

Enjoy the little things.

Remember that catch. Remember that homerun. Remember that steal. Remember that strikeout. There is always something you can take from a nine inning game that you can recall fondly. Even if it's this:

Don't get mad at things you (or the manager) can't control.

Picture it. It's the bottom of the ninth inning. The Brewers are down by one run. There are two outs. The pitcher is set to bat, a pinch hitter is needed and, wouldn't you know it, this just happens to be Aramis Ramirez's day off. Aramis steps up to the plate with fire in his eyes, he works the count full, waiting for his pitch and when he finally gets it he... pops up to third. The Brewers lose.

Sucks, right? You wanted them to win! If it wasn't for stupid Aramis popping up then they would have!

Now picture this. Tie game in the tenth. On the road. St. Louis. The Brewers need a pitcher so they turn to their closer, John Axford. Best arm in the pen, nobody denies this. The bottom of the order is up so it should be easy pickings, but the first ball gets away from him and he plucks the batter. The next batter sacrifices to second. The next batter strikes out. It's between Axford and whoever is leading off for the Cardinals. John Axford gets a quick two strikes and then... a bloop single sends the Cardinals fans home happy.

Sucks, right? Again, you wanted them to win and they didn't! What the h, man?

Here's the thing about these two situations: there is nothing anyone could do. That's how things were going to go down. Maybe if they had used a different pinch hitter or a different reliever then they might have won, but why would they have used someone different in these spots? They were the best players available and they didn't get the job done. He thought he could hit the pitch he swung at. He thought he could get him out with the pitch he threw. They were wrong and the Brewers lost. Call it bad luck or call it bad timing, but there is nothing you can do about it except try again next time.

Now take that concept and expand it to the entire game you are watching.

Which is to say: don't ever get mad at a hitter for getting out. Or a pitcher for giving up a hit.

The last person to average a hit in four out of ten at-bats did so in 1941. Which is to say a person hasn't got out "only" six out of ten times in 71 years. You simply cannot get a hit every time and you will fail a lot more than you succeed. Don't be mad when those times of failure came with "runners in scoring position" or when the game was tied. Trust me the player, no matter how silly he may look at the plate, wants to get a hit.

Pitchers are harder to explain. They can miss their spots, they can call the wrong pitch and just get beat, they can have a ball slip on them, they can get a tight strike zone from an umpire or a multitude of other things. There are a ton of things that can go wrong on a pitch per pitch basis and a very short list of things that can go right. Keep that in mind, but also keep in mind that the amount of pitchers who are actually really good at pitching is very small. There is a reason that no-hitters are a big deal. For the most part every middle reliever is not good enough to be a closer, every closer is not good enough to be a starter, every #2 starter is not good enough to the be #1 starter and on and on. When Kameron Loe gives up hits, it shouldn't be that surprising. When Marco Estrada gives up a bomb to Jay Bruce, you should see it coming. Jay Bruce is better at baseball than him.

To simplify this point: just think of baseball as a never ending game of rock-paper-scissors. (It's not a coin flip, there's more to it than that.) Every at-bat and every pitch is a game of rock-paper-scissors. You want a team full of guys who take a deep analytical approach to rock-paper-scissors and have well thought out strategies for how to win, but sometimes people are just going to beat you at it because rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper and paper beats rock. It's just the way it goes.

It takes a lot of skill to be a good baseball team, but it also takes a lot of luck too.

So tune it out.

I do my best to watch every game, but I hardly watch every game. I'll read a book or listen to music or mess around on the computer while the game plays in the background. If the game sucks, I'll keep doing whatever it is I'm doing. If it's good, I will put more attention on it. Nobody every said that you have to watch every pitch of every game to be a "true" Brewers fan.

Blame the manager.

Hey, when the Brewers lose because John Axford gave up a run I can handle it. He's their best reliever and he got beat. It happens. When the Brewers lose a game because John Axford is sitting on the bench and Tim Dillard is in the game? I get pissed. You can't ask the players to do better than they are doing, but you can ask the manager to do the right thing. Using Tim Dillard when there are better options is the wrong thing. Having Cesar Izturis pinch hit is the wrong thing. Put the team in the best position to win and I will never complain when they lose. Do this crap? I WILL COMPLAIN LOUDLY. SEE? I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

Be patient.

Sometimes a team starts off slow and then heats up. Sometimes teams go up and down all season. Some teams just suck. I'm not sure which one of these the Milwaukee Brewers are yet, but I can assure you they are not the last one. They won't lose 90 games and there won't be a fire sale. Rickie Weeks won't hit below .200 and John Axford will not have a Trevor Hoffman-esque ERA. A baseball season tells a story and the first chapter has sucked, but there's a hell of a lot of story left to be told. Don't rush to judgement and just enjoy the ride.

And if you can't do that?

Just stop watching. Please. Don't do something you don't enjoy. It's a waste of life. Go do something fun and forget about baseball for awhile. We'll be here waiting in October.