Miles and Miles of Diapers

Resolved

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 20:32:00 +0000

I had big plans for the kids' first day back to school. But instead
I'm hanging with a sick yet hilarious kiddo at home

New Years Resolutions are like the adult version of the first day of school. Every school year started with the younger version of me promising herself that this year, she would keep her binder in order rather than letting it become the disorganized explosion that it always became. That she would be on top of her assignments and not leave them until the last minute. That she would take time with her appearance, and not look so unkempt all the time. That she would watch less TV, read more, eat better, practice music more.

That the year ahead would be different from the one behind.

Yet they all seemed to end up the same.

20 years later I’m still tempted to make the same resolutions that I would have as a teenager on the first day of school. Learn to tidy up, look in the mirror before I leave the house, read more, veg out less, play more music...

The same old stuff.

But I have some other factors at work now. Namely two wee girls who are still incredibly dependent on me, and who’s states of being dictate a lot of my life. I can resolve all I want, but there are days, weeks, months even when my desires for personal improvement take a backseat to the issues at hand. And the fact that they travel around the country with us means that often I’m doing good just to get through the day.

I’d love to resolve to watch less TV, to let the girls watch TV and I know that sometimes I’ll be able to reign our collective addiction in. And then other times we will cover 5,000 miles in a week and, well, TV will be watched.

I’d love to feed my family locally, organically grown food, and sometimes I’ll be able too. And then other times, in the middle of a long tour, or after a particularly sleepless night, it’s McDonalds for breakfast, pizza for lunch and cookies for dinner.

I would love to be totally present and patient with my kids, all the time. And some days I will be. Somedays the neither poop nor puke nor massive attacks of whininess will break my stride. But there will be other days, when for whatever reason -- exhaustion or the cycle of the moon or just my general state of orneriness -- where I will want nothing more than to be alone, and everything the wee ones do will frustrate and/or infuriate me.

I would love to be awesome all the time. Sometimes I am. But this year, I resolve not to be too upset when I am unable to reach, or even approach, awesome. I resolve to accept the ebb and flow of my life. I resolve to strive for awesome, and be kind to myself when I’m not. And by extension to be kind to the other folks around me, who would probably be awesome 100% of the time if only they had nothing else to do.

I think this may be a resolution I can actually keep.

Thrift Shop -- Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 01:12:00 +0000

Are you hip to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis? You probably should be.

There's lots of swear words y'all, so, um, listen with headphones if that's an issue.

You're welcome!

Cleaning House -- Week 2

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 23:34:00 +0000

Week Two: I was pretty aware of my avoidance skills and so had decided to actually not book myself silly for week two. I left my schedule open for cleaning house. And cleaning house is what I did.

The Dining Room: It took forever, but I actually found places for the various papers, receipts, college diplomas (mine, still packaged up) that we had placed around our dining room. For a moment, it was empty of things we were putting off until later. What I did not do was sit down and make a plan with Dave about how to keep it that way so...right now the little table under the shelf is filled with things we need to do -- Socks we need to send back to Dave’s dad; containers I want to send to my sister in law so she can refill them with her amazing homemade body creme; bills that need to be filed.

When Keri sent me my plan of action, she had suggestions for us getting to a place where history would not repeat itself. Mainly creating some kind of organization spaces for these things. But that would take even more time, and through, and let's just say I didn’t quite get around to doing that...so the room is cleaner, but getting filled up again.

As a Christmas gift to myself I shall make some kind of in/out box situation in that room! So let it be written, so let it be done.

The Girls Room: Next I moved to our kids room, which was just filled to brimming with toys that they kids don’t play with. The main offenders? Stuffed animals. They take up a lot of space and get played with never. At least that’s the story for half of them. I didn’t want to traumatize my kids b disappearing their toys, though, so I was at a loss as to what to do.

Keri had a suggestion: Why now take those stuffed critters that I thought were the least played with and put them in a bag in out storage area? If a wee one missed a purple bear and asked for it, I could always go grab it and introduce it back into the room. If, after a reasonable period, no toys had been missed, then I could feel safe in passing them along. Or, as Lisel and I are fond of saying, "move 'em on down the line."

My kids have not once asked for one animal in that bag. Sweet.

I also, with Keri’s encouragement, developed a zero tolerance policy for small pieces of plastic crap. Tiny brushes, broken birthday party gift bag treats, bouncy balls, beads n things...all the things that somehow end up scattered all over my house all the time. Gone. Thrown in a bag and thrown away. No mercy for small peices of plastic crap.

I also used this time to trade out clothes, which I surprising have an actual system for that includes bins and stuff. But no matter what kind of system you have, you still have to do the actual work of seeing what no longer fits, putting it away, putting the clothes that do fit in...what a drag. But I did it and then, the girls room felt much, much lighter on my soul.

Our bedroom

This was not so bad, as I’ve been culling my clothes and stuff for a while now. The whole pregnancy, post-pregnancy, pregnancy, post-pregnancy again, hey, I’m a different person thing helped with that (link).

But I still had some stuff that I was hanging onto, but that I would never wear. And most of it was from my grandmother.

My Grandbetty was a very stylish lady, and after she passed I got some of her clothes and jewelry. It seemed like the best way to stay connected with her. After all, she always looked rad, always dressed up, always put makeup on, always wore her jewelry. And even though that is the opposite of how I roll (for every “always” in that last sentence replace “almost never” for me), I still wanted some of her style in my closet.

But there were some shoes I was keeping that didn’t fit. And some dressed and jackets I was never going to wear. And I felt like maybe I needed to move them along down the line. At least out of the closet.

But I had a really hard time. I realized I had turned these items into talismans. For me, they bridged the divide between life and death. Touching them was my way of saying to my grandmother, "I remember you, I think of you, I love you. And I know am I loved by you."

I had to call Keri on this one.

She was amazing. and she reminded me that despite my desire to get rid of everything, it’s good ti have talismans. She gave me permission to keep some stuff. And so, though I did pass a couple of items along -- some shoes that didn’t and would never fit me, a house dress that I was pretty sure she didn't love -- the rest I kept. I moved some to our storage area. Others I’ll keep in my closet, even if I never wear them.

And now that both my kids are grown enough, I’ll start wearing her jewelry. She left me some amazing pieces, and everytime I put them on I’ll be stronger for it.

The Living Room

This never happened. Our living room is stuffed with CD’s we don’t listen to and books we don’t read and records we never play and VHS’s we never take out of the dusty Ikea Storage basket in our bookcase. We need to get rid of some stuff. I need to archive my collection of recording and videos. But this is a job I cannot do by myself. I need Dave’s help, and Dave, well, he hasn’t been available for this kind of work.

And I understand why. Who knew that culling would be such an emotional process. I thought the core of our over-stuffed life was laziness, but it’s not. It’s emotional procrastination. So much of what we have hanging around our house are memories we don’t want to lose -- we hang onto that receipt because if we throw it away we may lose the memory of that awesome dinner we had together in Boise. They’re decisions we don’t have the heart to face. They’re weaknesses we’d rather ignore -- neither Dave nor I have particularly organized minds, so creating systems for organization is hard so, um, we dont do it.

This is deep, man.

The culling will continue. The holidays are almost upon us, which means a whole new influx of thing to crowd our tiny house. But now I’m prepared.

This post is sponsored by Organize those Papers.

Cleaning House -- Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:37:00 +0000

So, like I alluded to in my second to last post, I actually did take a crack at emptying my house of stuff. I had two weeks at the beginning of November, and I thought, now, yes, this is my time. I will get rid of half all this stuff that I don’t use...eliminate all that crap that weighs on me. The smothering mass of stuff in my house will be culled!

Week One: I was psyched! My friend Keri, of Organize Those Papers, had created an action plan, a room by room breadown of what I was to do. I was fired up! I was ready to go! And...I was also totally overbooked.

I could say I booked a series of lunch dates and play dates and errands general time eating up activities because I had been on the road for like, ever before that and I needed to reconnect...but really I think I had subconsciously created a situation where I could avoid the culling. In fact know I did that because the first week was really more of an exercise in avoidance.

I started out in the dining room, what I felt to be the least offensive part of our house. I mean, it was basically just a table and some random piles of bills and stuff. It would take me like, 10 minutes to throw away or put away everything there.

Except that everything that was piled up in that room was there for a reason. And the reason was that someone needed to figure out a place to put it. Every piece of paper was there because we had put off deciding what to do with ut...indefinitely. And so it wasn’t so much a matter of throwing things away, or putting things back in their places...it was about finally facing a mountain of decisions that we had been ignoring. For years. I had to find places, decide the fates of papers and posters and pictures and...it was going to take a while. So I started...and then...

Well, I had all the other obligations, and so I put these decisions off for another week.

(Full disclosure announcement. This post is sponsored by Organize Those Papers)

No (Tangible) Gifts Please! -- A Guide

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 16:08:00 +0000

Photo credit Lisel Blossom Sanger McQueen

This time of year it seems the blogs are crowded with gift guides and the like. The gift guide irks me a little because in our house, we’re trying to become less thing oriented. Last years gift-age got a little crazy, as we saw our daughters tearing through wrapping paper, demanding more! more! while appreciating nothing.

Plus we have enough stuff, Dave and I. We have more stuff than we know what to do with. And I’d imagine that’s the same for lots of us out there.

So this year we’ve decided to keep it small. Keep it simple. The girls are getting some, but fewer presents. And over the next two weeks, I’ll be sporadically offering some non-tangible yet highly gratitifying gifts.

Donate to a Charity

Local

SIMS -- Mental Health Services for Musicians

HAAM -- Health Alliance for Austin Musicians

Capital Area Food Bank

National

If it is possible, Dave is even more thing-averse than I, and on his insistence we do the majority of gift giving through donations. At first I fought it, but now I love it. Rather than buy trinkets for everyone on our list, we take the money we would have spent on presents and we contribute to organizations on our loved ones behalf. We usually choose one local charity and one national charity. Here’s a list of places we've donated to in the past.

Gift someone a CSA subscription

Johnson’s Backyard Garden

CSA stands for community supported agriculture, and it lets you support a local farm by buying produce directly from them on a weekly or semi-weekly basis. One of the great joys of my time at home is being able to get my box of fresh, locally grown veggies delivered to my door via my favorite CSA, Johnson’s Backyard Garden. If you live in Austin, you can easily gift someone the same joy. If you don’t, do a little googling. I bet you have a CSA in your area that would do the same.

Give the Gift of Organization

Organize Those Papers

We could all use some help getting our houses in order, I know I did (and I will be talking about that lots next week.) Why not buy a friend in need some help indeed?

Give a parent a break

This one requires nothing but a little sweat equity on your part. All parents are struggling with time and exhaustion. All parents want a break, but also know that babysitters cost serious money. A date night that ends up topping $200 (dinner plus a movie plus a sitter) can seem just not worth it. Gift that harried parent our couple in your life some free babysitting. You may just see tears of joy.

What about you. Do you have any non-gift gift ideas?

Spent

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 18:25:00 +0000

It’s been a while since I blogged. Not a while since I thought about blogging, because I’ve been doing that like, everyday for the last month...but actually sitting down and writing something. Well, lately I just haven’t had the gumption.

And then today I read Amanda Palmer’s latest blog post . She mostly writes about playing gigs to no one, a scenario I am intimately familiar with. But she starts off by describing why she hasn’t blogged in a while -- about how the grind of touring takes away her desire to open up on the interwebs. It was like a revelation. “Oh, touring does that to other folks to. At least to another artists whose music and blogging styles I really dig.” And suddenly, I felt like blogging again.

Because suddenly I wasn’t only lame person in the history of the world who didn’t have anything left after going on the road.

For a while, I stayed away from the blog because I was beat. I was recovering from tour, while concentrating on emptying my house of stuff, then kinda sick, then back on tour where I needed to put my head down and just deal with the next drive, the next sitter, the next gig, the next 2am, 3am, 4am kid wakes up and wants some milk crying spell, the next meal, the next drive, the next sitter...and on and on. It used to be I had time to blog on the road, but with two kids any free time I have I use to just think. my. own. thoughts. for. 5. minutes.

But we’ve been off the road for two weeks and we’re back and I’ve had time and still, I couldn’t blog. Because I felt spent, and sensitive, and tired. Because in my time alone I wanted to strum guitars and write songs and play the bass badly and fix my internet and listen to the Flaming Lips and definitely not write about how spent and sensitive and tired I felt.

Because to say that felt lame.

Because I felt lame for feeling spent and sensitive and tired.

In my mind, I am the person with the least amount of stamina. Ever. I am surrounded by people who handle jobs and kids and still have the energy to clean their houses and make beautiful things and write beautiful things and take showers and go to parties and stay up late not just stop and stare into space.

Stopping and staring into space, or into a tv, or into a computer screen is pretty key to me when I feel this way. I’m basically an introvert...an extroverted introvert to be sure, but I do not recharge around people. People wear me out. I get back to right by being alone.

On the road, you are never alone. And lets face it, when you have kids, you are rarely alone.

To admit this seems so...so lame. The world seems full of people setting fire to it, and these days all I want to do is watch it pass me by.

So when I read that major fire starter Amanda Palmer felt a similar reaction to the road, well, it seemed like less of a big deal that I did. And It made me think that yes, I could take a couple of free minutes and spend them writing rather than staring off into space or listening to “It’s Summertime” on repeat.

So thanks to Amanda. And thanks to anyone who is taking time out of their busy life to read this. I feels good to write, even if only to say y’all, the road wears my ass out.

Kickstarting

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 17:44:00 +0000

Well, the Elizabeth McQueen Meet Brothers Lazaroff Kickstarter is almost at a close. We have a mere three days until we reach the end of our 30 day Kickstarting period. We've met our goal, which is pretty incredible in an of itself. And now we're trying to get as many people to back this project as possible. It's not so much about raising money as it is about involving people in the adventure/experiment that Kickstarter has become for us.

I have so much I want to write about the whole deal -- but today both kids are at home and thus my time is severely limited...So instead I wanted to share with you a couple of update videos that our backers got. These are public, so if you're one of twitter/facebook followers, you might have seen them...or you might have declined to click because you have a gazillion other things coming at you from life, the internet, you phone, your kids...

After the campaign is closed, we'll be sending the updates out only to folks who have backed the project. It's one of the coolest aspects of Kickstarter, and one that I'm really excited about. We get to bring people into the process, and show them all the stuff we were taught to leave behind the curtain. Rehearsals, studio time, budgets, song inspirations, demos...everything that goes into the making of a finished product.

I've also included the link to each update, in case you want to read the text. Here goes!

Why I wrote Mind of Men and a video of one of the first times ever we played together, back in January on the radio at 88.1 KDHX in St. Louis

We decided to record a 6th song called Dreamin'. You can hear the demo I made for it as the soundtrack to this video.

I was pretty psyched when we made our goal! So I made this video the next day. I used a demo of Gone Solid Gone that David has sent me literally moments before we surpassed our goal!

Thanks for reading and watching and considering and joining. This project has been incredible so far, and I expect that it will only become more so as we get deeper into it!

Organize Those Papers!

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 20:27:00 +0000

Hello Dear Readers!

As you might have noticed, my blogging has been a bit, um lacking, but as always I have a reason.

And that reason is Kickstarter. We only have until Friday at 10pm to raise the funds for the Elizabeth McQueen Meet Brothers Lazaroff EP, and as I have limited free time to be in front of a computer, I decided to devote what little I had to to Kickstarting.

It's been in an incredible process, and one that I plan on detailing further on this blog, but for now I am taking a little (much needed) break to talk about something completely different.

Y'all, I think I'm going to get my house organized. And it' all because I accepted some much needed help.

You may remember the post I wrote my post about why I cut all my hair off. Looking back on it, I realized that I had included in there a not so veiled cry for help.

It was our house full of stuff we don't use, but that we don't have time to get rid of because even throwing things out takes time and energy that we just don't have.

I couldn’t clean my house, so I cut my hair.

What I didn't expressly say is that my house is full of stuff I don't need because, well, my mind is a disorganized place that has trouble imposing order on the world around me. I am a messy, not picking things up kind of person.

I get headaches when I have to file things. So most things don't get filed. They get piled.

It's embarrasing really, especially now that I'm a mom and supposed to care about things like tidiness and cleanliness and organization...but like I said, my head hurts when I have to do those things...

Almost immediately after I posted that post I got a response from my friend Keri.

Can I help with the cleaning of the house?

So nice! Except that she lives in DC, and I live in Austin and well, you know, 1000 miles. Then said she wanted to Skype and see if she could give me ideas for what to do...but you know, organization = headache and so I let it go for a couple of weeks...

Until I saw on twitter that she had her first musician client. You see, Keri is an archivist by trade and runs her own business called Organize Those Papers. She realized that most of us need our own personal archivists. How many of us have millions of papers sitting in boxes that we're keeping because we're not sure if we'll need them or not, but that we don't have the time, energy or inclination to put away in a place where we can easily find them. Or have one gazillion digital pictures that are just sitting on a hard drive -- memories languishing in digital limbo.

Keri is an archivist...her mind was made to find a place for everything. She likes doing it. It's what she choose to do for her career. And now she's offering her services to individuals whose strengths lie in other realms.

Brilliant.

My highly competitive nature made me respond that I wanted to be her first musician client. And so, we made a Skype date.

I'm going to admit that I was still kinda skeptical...not because I doubted Keri's ability, but because I doubted mine. I was a bit worried that I when talking about going through our house my eyes would glaze and my mind would blank out...that's what happens every time I think about organizing a drawer.

But instead, we had a productive and inspirational session. We went through my house, room by room, and discussed what needed to go. What I found was that I'm holding on to a lot of stuff for emotional reasons, and what Keri did was talk me through different ways to approach that...hang onto some stuff maybe, take pictures of others, have a party and give away other stuff...so many ideas I hadn't thought of.

Then we found a time period where it was reasonable for me to actually take the steps. A couple of weeks when we'll be home. Perfect!

Lastly she wrote everything down, and came up with an action plan for me. It a document that has a room by room breakdown of what I need to do, complete with places to donate our stuff that will be leaving our house. So cool!

My goal? To rid our house of 50% of the stuff in it. It sounds like a big number, but we live over half our time on the road using 1/50th of the stuff we have. Most of our possessions never get thought about, much less used. So it's time. It's time to free up our space, unclutter our life, and thusly ease our minds.

And I honestly feel like I can do it. Stay tuned. I'll let you know how it goes.

I feel lighter already!

And of course, you can contact Keri at keri@organizethosepapers.com if you need the same kind of help I do.

Elizabeth McQueen Meet Brothers Lazaroff -- The Kickstarter Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 17:41:00 +0000

Today Brothers Lazaroff and I officially launch our Kickstarter campaign to finish the project we started earlier this year, Elizabeth McQueen Meet Brothers Lazaroff. The Brothers are remixing songs from the Laziest Girl in Town. We want to make a 5 song EP, and we’d like your help in paying for the recording, production and promotion costs of the record. And in return we’ll give you lots of updates and choice of awesome premiums -- everything from a signed copy of the CD to a Vinyl copy of the record. Or maybe you’d like a limited edition screen print poster or t-shirt. Maybe you want a custom voice mail? Hey, you can even get a house concert!

This blog has really been an eye opener for me. It’s showed me how the internet can connect us in ways that would have been impossible 10 years ago. I get to share my adventures with people around the globe, and they get to share their adventures with me. And now with Kickstarter we can connect through music. We can give people music, plus we can give them insight into the creative process. We can show people what it's like in the studio, give them a head up on art and videos, and explain the other aspects of putting a project out there -- promotion is a whole art unto itself after all.

It's

So go ahead, watch the video. Peruse the premiums. We hope you’ll want to become a backer. We’re totally excited to get started. And we hope that you’ll join us on this new adventure!

Why I Cut My Hair

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 15:58:00 +0000

On Wednesday morning, I went to my favorite stylist, Brooke at Lyric Salon, and asked her to cut off all my hair. Well, not all my hair, but most of it.

She obliged.

I'd been wanting to cut my hair pretty much since Willow was born. And about a month ago, after Willow weaned, the baby weight that I had been waiting to lose, went. But I still had the hair.

And it was bumming me out.

Actually, I think it was more than the hair that was bumming me out.

It was our house full of stuff we don't use, but that we don't have time to get rid of because even throwing things out takes time and energy that we just don't have.

I couldn’t clean my house, so I cut my hair.

It was the strange new pace of our life as parents -- constant change and movement in so many ways sitting right next to the feeling that personal forward movement is next to impossible t. I rarely have time to take a shower, much less write a song. But I have plans! I want to do so many BIG things! But doing them...again that takes time and energy, and most days I am just trying to hold it together enough to get ready for the next day.

I can’t execute all my big plans, but I could cut my hair.

Plus, I've felt like changed, really truly changed, since becoming a mom. For a long time after I became pregnant with Lisel, and even after I had her, I thought that it was just a matter of time until I got back to my old self. I'd lose my weight, fit back in my clothes, and start going and doing as I had pre-kid.

And then I realized that was a dream. The old me wasn’t coming back. And after a while, I didn’t even long for her. But physically, I still looked like the old me. Long hair. Glasses. Quirky style.

I just didn't feel like her.

And when I lost my baby weight this time, I put on the clothes I had been saving for 3 years, my pre-Lisel clothes, and I felt ill at ease. They weren't my clothes. They were hers. And her style is just not my style.

Not that I'm sure what my style is. I've been throwing out her clothes at a pretty rapid rate, and not replacing them. For the time being, I'm sticking to black. I own some black shirts and black pants and black leggings, and those coupled with dark jeans, a couple of colorful hoodies and a couple of black and white striped dresses are all I want to wear. All I feel comfortable in. Which is strange because black as a fashion choice has always infuriated me. I usually love and need color. But right now, black is working as my transitional wardrobe go to color.

Funnily enough, my father, who I am the spitting image of, also has the same style. He wears Ray Bans, black t-shirts and jeans, and always looks cool.

I guess I am my father’s daughter.

I finally, I wanted to do something I might regret. I hardly ever make decisions these days that might go really, really, awry. I actually had moments of gripping, stomach-clenching panic in the days leading up to the cut.. That used to be an every day feeling, and now it's a novelty. Luckily though, I don't regret it. On the contrary, every time I look in the mirror my soul does a hop skip and a high five. But I could have regretted it. Which was exciting.

And so ends this long post about my short my.

Wee-One Wednesdays -- Joe McDermott

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 17:38:00 +0000

Joe McDermott is a an incredible musician who just happens to apply his skills to music for kids. He writes music that accessible music that's never dumbed down, and always super fun. He and Dave have been friends for ages, and when I hooked up with Dave I got lucky enough to get hooked on Joe's music.

This song, Kitty Fight, is the coolest, cutest kids song I've heard in a while. And the video is straight footage of kitty's in fight which means you may lose you day watching an re-watching it. Just so you know!

Tuesday Tunage -- The Flaming Lips

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:00:00 +0000

There are so many Flaming Lips songs that make me want to give Wayne Coyne and all those guys huge hug, and thank them for writing music that saves me.This song in particular gets me through the tough spots. Today is a tough spot for all of us I think.

The band is mounting a new stage play of Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots at the La Jolla playhouse this fall. I will so try and be there.

Wee-One Wednesdays

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Our kids spend some time around loud music. Backstage can be brutal on little ears, but we never fear. We bring our trusty Peltor Kid Earmuffs with us where ever we go. Both girls have a pair. They protect and they're pink, which makes them perfect!

Tuesday Tuneage -- Kat Edmonson

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 19:06:00 +0000

These two videos are two different takes on the same song. One light, one heavy. And I like 'em both! Not to mention Kat is a badass musician with a serious creative vision who came out of Austin, which makes her music all the sweeter to me. Her record "Way Down Low" is so good! I don't want to toot my own horn, but I was one of the kick starter contributors. She's killing it these days, and you should check her out. And if she comes to your town, for goodness sake, go see her!

Epic Family Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Mon, 03 Sep 2012 13:30:00 +0000

On this tour, our friend and road manager PJ told us that we were basically the Griswalds, and that our life was just one big National Lampoons Vacation.

I would have to agree.

This time, this tour, really has been like the Epic Family Vacation that Dave and I always wanted the road to be.

Maybe it's that the kids are bigger and more adventure ready. Maybe it's that Dave and I are starting to finally dial this whole deal in. Maybe it's that the tour lent itself to family fun.

Or maybe, we just got lucky.

Sometimes the road can be a slog. A relentless trek between bland brown hotel rooms and un-kid friendly environments, punctuated by the occasional park hang and the nighttime rhythm of gigs.
And then sometimes you get nice weather and dinosaur museums and hot spring pools and lunchtime beach stops and farmers markets and libraries.

You get days off in the same town as your best friends. Katy and Vincent took us all around Phoenix, which is a great town for kids. The Science Center and the Phoenix Zoo and the Phoenix Children's Museum -- all incredible. Randy inspired us to dine at Pizzeria Bianci (believe the hype!) Geoff and Didi and Charlie let us stay in their beautiful house, and eat their delicious food and swim in their refreshing pool.

Best days off ever.

It's been a good time. Not perfect. Never perfect. And not without the inevitable discord that 17 days on the road will produce. But overall, without a doubt, this has been a great tour. A fun one. A not as exhausting on the whole as a previous tours. A memory making tour.

Right on.

Surprise All Night Drive -- or I can be a real pain sometimes

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 17:55:00 +0000

When we finished the drive from Llano to Red River, I thought we were done with all night drives. I hate them and fear them with equal passion. Their absence makes me ecstatic.

And then, the day before we left Phoenix, Dave told me that we would, in fact, need to drive all night to make it to Santa Ynes. We were 8 1/2 hours from our destination. And the last time we had driven that far during the day it had taken almost 12 hours. Plus, a large part of the drive was in the desert. Better to cover that kind of ground during the cool nighttime. We'd end up in the morning near Santa Barbara, where we could rest and play on the beach.

Fair enough, I thought

And so, even though I had been solo parenting for two days, and was admittedly crispy, I gave Dave the day off.

To rest.

Which is why when he woke me up 2 1/2 hours into our drive, saying he was so tired he couldn't drive, I got a little upset.

And by a little upset I mean ragingly, unfortunately, seeing-red angry.

Because I had handed him kid free time in which to prepare for this trip! What had he been doing? Not sleeping. Perhaps getting work done? Swimming? Whatever it was, it hadn't been worth me giving up my day for it.

Now look. I can see now that I was being, um, slightly irrational. That he should be commended for not trying to soldier down the road while falling, and yes, I am going to actually write this, asleep at the wheel. That he had already driven thousands off miles on this trip. That he had never, if ever, asked me to spell him so early in a drive.

Nope, all I thought was "I'm burnt out you jerk! How do you expect me to do this. And why did I try to help you in the first place!"

I think I said to Dave at 3 am only with far more expletives involved.

And I continued the tirade even after he had retaken the wheel, and I had slept for an hour more.

Look, it's not pretty. And I don't condone it. But I did it.

Of course it all evened out. I mellowed out and apologized eventually. Eventually.

That's the deal with partners. You get to be your full on, deepest, most complex self with them. Which means they see all your beauty and all of your shadow self.

Dave definitely saw my shadow self that night and day.

Tuesday Tuneage -- Amanda Palmer

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 23:38:00 +0000

First things first, this video is not safe for work due to nakedness and such.

Last year, I heard my friend Chad Raines, aka Rad Chaines was playing with Amanda Palmer. I've followed her blog on and off for years, and was really excited that he had hooked up with her creatively. The next thing I heard, Amanda, Chad, Michael McQuilken and Jheret Bischoff were in Sydney recording. And the NEXT thing I knew, they raised a zillion dollars to on kickstarter to put out that record. Which makes me insanely happy, much like this video does. It's music and it's art and it's funded by people who love the music and love the art...which just makes my hopeful and happy and proud.

They Can't All Be Gems

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 22:59:00 +0000

I should have known. What idiot writes something like "I think it'g going to be a good tour." That's just an invitation to disaster. And Thursday, when we played Breckenridge, disaster struck.

At least for me.

I overdid it at breakfast. Coffee, orange juice, a vitamin-- an acid overload if you will-- combined with windy roads made me feel oh so pukey. So I lay down a bit, avoided food. Drank ginger ale ever so sparingly. Avoided water. But I wasn't feeling better. I was getting worse.

By the time we reached the heights of Breckenridge, 9500 feet up in the air, I felt like hammered dogshit. And at that point I could have, should have, bowed out of my parental duties and napped. But the kids had been in the car most if the day and we had some time before the gig and I felt like I could rally and help Dave take them on an adventure.

I was wrong.

Why do we parents do that? I knew that the thing to do was rest and take care of myself. But I convinced myself that my family deserved the taking care of instead. Maybe it's because since I've become a mother, I have rarely, if ever, been sick and had the luxury of resting. Kids are still dependent on you, even when you haven't the wherewithal to wipe your own nose. But you find a way. You soldier on. Even when you shouldn't.

Thursday was a shouldn't day for me.

By the time we left for the gig, I could hardly walk. I slept for an hour in the back of the baby bus, which made me feel just well enough to totter to the big bus and get dressed.

Ray took one look at me and said "You're altitude sick"

"No I'm not. I just made myself kinda pukey at breakfast."

"You need to drink water."

"But it might make me throw up."

"Or it might make you feel better."

So I grabbed some water and started sipping.

It was not an instant fix, and right before I went on some glorious woman whose name I may never know took pity on me and recommended that I drink Gatorade if I had a stomach ick happening. Thank you unnamed woman. Because I grabbed some strange looking purple Gatorade that tasted surprising deliciously like melted down grape bubble gum, and brought that along with my water to the stage.

When I started the show, I felt worse than I can ever remember felling onstage. Awful. Yet I realized that no one wants to see someone grimace her way through an hour and a half of music. So I tried to find my smiley, if not exactly happy, place.

And thanks to small amounts of water and gatorade a I began to feel better and better, at least in the stomach department, as the show went on.

However, in the lung department, I was having some issues. The biggest of which was I felt like I couldn't breath.

I was gasping for air between phrases, gulping as much as I could in at a time. I still spent large part of the set convinced that I was seconds away from fainting. Actually, I had to sit out a song towards the end and skip the encore, because I was not convinced I had it in me to stay upright.

I guess the air really is thinner, way up high.

And I guess I really was altitude sick.

Luckily, it all passed by breakfast of the next day. The gig Friday in Steamboat Springs felt like a dream compared to the night before. I practically floated on a cloud up there.

Breckenridge definitely broke the rhythm of a tour that had been going relatively well. Not every day is a good one.

Slumgullion Surprise

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 23:27:00 +0000

We never know what the tour will bring. Not really. You think you know. Long drive, passable hotel, gig, sleep. Repeat until home.
And then there are the days when you roll up on what you thought would be a little hotel in the tiny town of Lake City, CO (population 300, site of the dread cannibal Alferd) but instead you find yourself outside of the tiny town, at a log cabin retreat, set on a lake nestled in the mountains.
And you have a day off there.
And suddenly, you're not on tour. You're on vacation.
The Inn on the Lake is a Christian retreat where people come to disconnect and take a breath. I think it was the only place near Lake City that a group of Asleep at the Wheel size could stay. And had I been kid free, I may have been disheartened by how far from town it was. But I was with kids, so it was awesome.
There's a little creek that runs by the side of Inn. It looks deceptively sandy, when in actuallity it's go the gooiest mud/clay combination I've ever come across. The mud is comes from the mountain via the Slumgullion wash. I cannot think of a better name for the sticky icky stuff. Slumgullion. Perfect.
Lisel went from throwing rocks in the creek, to walking in the creek to digging in the Slumgullion mud in mere minutes. She was in kid heaven.

We explored the lake, threw rocks and sticks and moss in there. We walked out in the mud flat as far as we could. We kept an eye out for hummingbirds (thanksThelma!) and chipmunks and brave grey squirrels. We spotted rabbits and deer. We threw sticks into the fire at night. And we visited with the folks at the Inn. David and Rosie take care of the Inn during the summer, helped by volunteers like Woody and Thelma and Wally. The inn discourages Internet use, which I kind of loved
(even though I used it a teensy bit). No Internet encourages talking and game playing and rock throwing in lakes and reflective mountain starting at time. It made me think that intermittent Internet free days may be the wave of the future.

It was lovely and even though I'm a secular Christian and Dave is a secular Jew we didn't mind the Christian vibe. It's not our daily jam, but the folks were super nice and the place super comfy.
I can't think of a better place to recharge before this coming leg of the tour. 6 gigs in 6 days with lots of early mornings and mountain drives in between. I'm under no illusions. My ass will be kicked by the Colorado run. But I'll always have the Slumgullion experience.
BTW is Slumgullion Millionaire not a great joke movie name?

Wee-One Wednesdays -- A Call for Food Help!

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:27:00 +0000

Okay, so our road kid food Is in a serious rut. We're all tired of the black bean taco, tofu dog and veggies, cheese quesadilla, instant Mac and cheese rotation. I need help! Does anyone have any easy yet healthy kid dinner ideas that fulfill the following requirements --

Require no frozen food
Require no cooking
Or
Can be cooked in microwave
Or
Can be cooked on a mini George Forman grill

Many thanks in advance for any and all ideas! We're desperate out here!

Tuesday Tunage -- California

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 19:00:00 +0000

I have listened to this song 1,564,789 times on repeat. And will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

Road Dog

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 16:21:00 +0000

This weekend we drove from Austin, TX to Llano, TX to Red River, NM. Yep, that's a long way -- roughly 900 miles...and 808 of those we drove in one night/day.

That's the kind of drive that makes your stomach knot up every time you think about it, so you don't think about it. Because you know it's going to be hellish and you're going to be exhausted scared and annoyed and worried. So you happily live your life, ignoring the impending dread, because you know it's one of those things you just have to get through.

As far as overnight drives go, this one was not so bad. Good, by overnight drive standards. Lisel slept good, Willow slept good enough, which meant I slept just good enough to take over for Dave after breakfast. And I drove well enough that Dave was able to get some recovery sleep. And Vanessa slept good enough to help out at breakfast. And we all were rested enough to have a relatively breakdown free time in Red River. So, yeah, successful overnight drive.

The winners of the hearty traveler awards go to Lisel and Willow, who handled everything better than the adults. That seems to be pretty usual our here. When Dave an I are sniping and snapping at each other because we don't know what else to do in our soul-muddlingly exhausted states, the kids are usually acting calmer, kinder and more fun than than do even at home.

Someone has to rise to the occasion I guess.

Anyway, the best thing about this tour, besides the complete lack of remaining all nights drives (score!) is the fact that Ray brought Emmylou on the road. She's the corgi that he shares with Michelle Valles, and like our kids, she's a hell of a traveler.

Dogs and kids are like the two biggest taboos in both show business and the road. Out here they're seen as buzz kills, which I guess is true as most of road life consists of running away from the responsibilities of real life. But you know what's also missing out here? Snuggly, cuddly love. And dogs and kids bring the snuggle and the cuddle and the love. I'm interested to see what he combined canine/child love force is.

I think it's going to be a good tour.

Internet Rabbit Hole -- Colorado Edition

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 21:53:00 +0000

frame 353 of the Patterson-Gimlin film, via Wikipedia

We're about to embark on a Colorado trip -- 8 gigs in 9 days. Sure, there's one day in New Mexico and one day in Utah, but mostly, we're in Colorado. Which means mountains. Lots of mountains. Have you ever driven in the mountains? It's beautiful...and terrifying! And it takes 5 times longer to get anywhere than you think it is. The last time we did a Colorado trip in the Baby Bus, I was unprepared and unexpectedly car sick., This time, I'm going to quell my anxiety about all that mountain driving with a little research. At least we'll have some cool things to do when we (finally) get to stop moving for the day.

Red River New Mexico has had some dubious yet possible Bigfoot Sightings. That would lively up our trip.

I've never been to Lake City, CO, but I may have to do a kid free visit to Cannibal Trail which is a bunch of sights related to Colorado's most famous Cannibal, Alferd Packer.

The week after we're there, Durango Colorado will be hosting Stage 1 of the USA Pro Cycing Race, which I hear is supposed to be our answer to the Tour de France.

In Breckenridge, CO we can take a tour of a mine! I'll go by myself if I have to.

I would have really liked to see these snow drawings Sonja Hinrichsen made in Steamboat Springs, CO last winter. I'll settle for Strawberry Hot Springs instead.

Due to it's closeness to Dinosaur National Monument, the whole town of Vernal, Utah is dinosaur themed. We may be making a trip to Dinosaurland, where they let you touch actual dinosaur bones!!!!

I'm having trouble finding interesting stuff in Arvada, Colorado. Got any ideas?

Playing without a net

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 02:29:00 +0000

I never play shows by my own self any more. And when I say never I mean hardly ever. Between my schedule and the kids and life...playing my own music has taken a low spot on the priority list.

I play so infrequently by myself, without the comfort of the machine that is Asleep at the Wheel, that I have to take an entire day just to get ready for a gig. I need to check and make sure the pickup on my acoustic guitar works, make sure all my chords and strings and pics are available and functioning, triple check that I actually have CD's to bring to the gig. I have to run songs, some of which I wrote, just to remind myself of the words and the changes. Because it's not second nature to me anymore. Not this music. Not my music.

I'm out of practice at band leading. For the majority of the last seven years, I've been sidemanning it; which means I show up and play and let Ray make all the decisions. But at my own gig I had to find out about the P.A. and load in and about if we were being fed or not and I had to decide what songs we'd play and when and in what order. So many bases to cover -- bases that, in the Wheel, are covered by road managers and stage managers and office managers and business managers and my boss. I often overlook or forget to ask about major things.

Last night I got to play an actual Elizabeth McQueen gig thanks to the Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin. It turns out it's World Breastfeeding Week and National Breastfeeding Month and they wanted to have an event to celebrate breastfeeding and get the word out about the organization. Here in Austin we have one of the few places that collects, pasteurizes and dispenses breast milk to premature and ill infants who need it (thanks to the Mothers Milk Bank website for that wording!)

It's an incredible organization, and when they asked me if I had some free time in August, I said yes, of course! I called my friends/favorite musicians and set the date for last night. And I knew I'd have a good time.

But like I said, I'm out of practice. At everything. Like promotion. I got the word out on Facebook and other digital mediums, but really I could have, should have, done more. Time is passing at such a rapid pace these days and every day seems so full to brimming that I get overwhelmed.

And then I got nervous. Well, actually, I always get nervous before my gigs about whether anyone will ever even show up. This gig was no different. Between worrying about what I was or was not forgetting, I was worrying about attendance. It was a festival of worry.

So yesterday at about 7:04pm I was nervous and anxious and feeling kind of out of sorts.

But at 7:05pm that all disappeared.

Because playing with those guys is easy (perhaps easier) as Sunday morning. After more than a decade playing together it's practically cellular. It flows and it's right, even when we forget where we are or how it should be.

And people showed up. Friends I hadn't seen in ages, kids I who were babies the last time we met. People I just got to know that night. Some were donors or former donors to the milk bank. Everyone believed in the power of breast milk, which makes for a good party.

There ended up being a kid led dance extravaganza on the floor. And I've officially decided that kids are the best audience ever. Sorry adults, but you need to up your audience game. I say more unbridled enthusiasm, creative interpretive dance and dances where everyone holds hands! To make it all that much cooler, my own kids were at the gig -- dancing along, singing, and (in Lisel's case) sitting in with the band.

After the first set a girl named Lily approached me and asked me if she could sit in with the band. She wanted to sing Adele, but we didn't know it off hand, so she said she's sing it acapella. It was a gutsy move, and I appreciate gutsy girls, so I said she could get up during the next set. When she opened her mouth, our collective jaws dropped simultaneously because the girl could sing. She had a seriously serious voice. So good that I wished we had know "Rolling in the Deep," though her acapella version was probably more impressive for it's standalone unexpected awesomeness.

The night continued with dancing kids and Milk Bank fun (did you know that only 40% of donated milk in our Milk Bank comes from Austin? Come on Austin! We need to up that percentage!). At the end of the night I felt lifted up; exhausted from a day spent in anxiety and a night spent outside playing, but lifted up inside. It's good. Good to shake out the dust and fire up the synapses and exercise muscles that have atrophied a bit. It makes me a bit crazy, but what the hell. Crazy often leads to fun. And last night? Last night was just fun.

Wee One Wednesdays -- Best Kid Bed Ever

noreply@blogger.com (EMQ) — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 20:18:00 +0000

My good friend Betty Crafter just had the worlds most beautiful bed built for her daughter. I've been working hard on controlling my drooling problem, but today it is full on. Good work Mrs. Crafter! You just upped the bar in the realm of kids beds!