Her knowledge and perspectives are borne from her own personal journey, membership of adoption panels, books, numerous training courses and other adopters. Here she looks at the needs of both parents and our children and why knowing our values can help us to a better understanding of ourselves.

WHAT do you need right now . . .

A cuppa, a hug, acknowledgement, dignity, a toilet, self-respect, grounding, fulfilment, warm socks, protection, importance or . . ? We all have needs which we strive to meet, sometimes consciously; popping to the bathroom is a conscious act.

Sometimes the need is satisfied outside of our conscious awareness. Maybe you prefer to sit with your back to the wall in a restaurant, because, at an unconscious level, it feels safer.

We adopted our children to fulfill our own personal needs. Even though our individual motivations may have varied, we all felt something was missing from our lives.

A need was not met and we strove to attain it.

What do all humans need?  You, me, our children – everyone is driven to fulfill unmet human need. It’s what motivates us and drives our behaviour, every second of the day, every day of the week.

By understanding our own needs and those of our children we gain another perspective on the extraordinary task of parenting traumatised children.This article includes two theoretical models to help make sense of our feelings and the often apparently nonsensical behaviour of our children. Remember – children’s behaviour is their vocabulary – as adults we must learn to understand and interpret it.

 To download and read the rest of the article, click here.

To learn more about Helen, contact her at:
Helen Oakwater
NLP Coach & Trainer
9 Richmond Bridge Mansions
Willoughby Road
Twickenham
TW1 2QJ
Tel:  +44 (0) 208 288 0334
Mob: 07711 478 479

An interview with Kim Wells, Director of Learning and Teaching Caterham School, and Michael Grinder

http://www.caterhamconference.co.uk

Transform yourself into THE leader others want to follow with this 6-day course with Michael Grinder

Some people can just walk in a room and exude charisma. I never had that innate ability. So I wanted to figure out how the rest of us who don’t have it naturally, actually develop it. This is what this course is about.

Successful, charismatic leaders have a deep understanding of the individual, and group behaviors of both leaders and followers. To enable you to gain that understanding and succeed as a charismatic leader, Michael Grinder and Associates’ Effective Charismatic Leadership Program provides you with an in-depth understanding of both leaders and followers while preparing you to apply what you learn to both your personal and professional worlds.

The Effective Charismatic Leadership Program is practical and relevant for aspiring or existing leaders in any profession. As you move through the program, you will track your learning in your Development Portfolio, prompting significant change and growth as you become more deeply aware of your individual leadership style and options you have. This course provides the behaviors and style of charisma; you have to develop character and values on your own.  Since non-verbals comprise 80% of what communication, we will study and practice the full range of non-verbal behaviors and develop your personal charismatic style.

This is a 6-day training, in two 3-day segments over two months.  You have the option of being certified. You don’t have to do the certification requirements to attend.  The first segment is October 16-18.  The training continues with the second segment, December 11-13, 2009. The training will be held at Homewood Suites,  701 SE Columbia Shores Blvd. Vancouver, Washington USA 98661 

For more details on Effective Charismatic Leadership

Cost: $990.

Early Bird Savings – purchase by October 9, 2009 discount of $195.

Just $795	Or 3 Monthly Payments $330

Change the way you see the world with the 6-day Perception Camp October 19-21 and December 14-16, 2009

Once you have learned Michael’s “HOW” of non-verbal communication, it’s all about the artistic level of timing and "permission." Perceptual Training Camp is different than anything you’ve ever been to, including Michael’s trainings. It’s the class for the NEXT LEVEL—the artistic level!

Being artistic (exceptional) means using your perception and thinking skills beyond the way many of us are trained to observe and understand now.  In this peak performance training camp, you’ll learn critical perception and thinking skills that can help improve your results in several areas of life.

You will:

• Learn how to recognize behaviors and the beliefs behind those behaviors.
• Predict who is likely to dominate when two people are interacting.
• Know ahead of time what is likely to happen next in a group setting.
• Get instant feedback and coaching from Michael!
• Develop the refinements of timing and permission that are critical to taking your work in non-verbal communication to the Artist level.
• Bond and network closely with the other like minded attendees. (Just wait until you experience the accelerated learning a group like this produces.)

Understanding NON-VERBALS Is the Single Most Important Asset for YOUR Bottom Line. Imagine being even more proactive than you are now.
 
Prerequisite:
Either be a graduate of Michael Grinder’s Group Wizardry or Group Mastery or pass an online Q & A quiz on the Pentimento
 
Format of the workshop
Most of us are familiar with Michael’s training format that includes animated demonstrations and presentation with learning done via role-play. This is different, though.  It is not a Michael Grinder training. THIS IS A CAMP.

This is a 6-day training, in two 3-day segments over two months.  Beginning October 16-18 and continuing December 14-16, 2009 this camp follows each segment of Effective Charismatic Leadership Certification.

To read the Details and Prerequisites — Perception-training-camp-certification/

Cost: Retail $1495.

Early Bird Savings – purchase by October 9, 2009 discount of $100. Pay only $1395.   

Just $1395	Or 3 Monthly Payments $500

Combine the Charismatic Leadership training with the Perception Camp.  Attend both and save big! 

Cost: Retail $2190. 

Early Bird Savings – purchase by October 9, 2009. Pay only $1995.   

Just $1995	Or 3 Monthly Payments $730

1. February 4th, 2009 Teleseminar
   "Using Influence and Power through Non-Verbal Communication: Becoming Comfortable with the Discomfort of Power."
   
   
   
2. February 25th, 2009 Teleseminar
   "Knowing What You See – 3 ways to refine your perception."
   

The certifications have been rescheduled. The Leadership Certification is Oct 16-18; continuing Dec 11-13, 2009 and the Perception Camp is Oct. 19-21 and Dec. 14-16, 2009. For information is available at this link. http://www.michaelgrinder.com/2009-certifications/

If you are taking credit from Chapman University the requirements are due May 25.

The grades will be issued by Chapman University by June 30.

Option 1: Aug 3-4, 2009

Option 2: Aug 5-6, 2009

Option 3: Aug 12-13, 2009

Contact Nancy Burns at nancy@manangingtheclassroom.com to register. http://www.ManagingTheClassroom.com
Cost: $195 includes ENVOY book
Credit available: 1 semester credit through Hamline University for $110.

A big part of why I become a trainer is I love to inspire, motivate, and encourage people! Yet as you know, if you have ever had to manage or coach people, sometimes, we need to give feedback and possibly even manage a behavior.

Observing someone’s behavior, coaching them and giving feedback can feel rough, tough or scary (it certainly doesn’t need to be). And contrary to common mythology, giving “constructive criticism” is not constructive. It rarely motivates change, especially long-term change. What motivates people is specific behavioral feedback, and yes, they are craving specific feedback that educates them on how their behaviors effect other people.

Your success as a leader, teacher, manager, team member, coach, etcetera will ultimately be about what you do and how you inspire, motivate, and encourage people. So the question becomes how to do it successfully each and every time?

Michael Grinder’s Group Wizardry June 22-25, 2009

http://tinyurl.com/crs7z5

Course Objectives:

The non-verbal communication skills offered in this training will positively influence the single most powerful point in education—the teacher-student relationship.

Teachers who systematically utilize the full range of non-verbal management skills are able to reinforce consistent and fair parameters while preserving their relationships with each student, regardless of unique learning styles or cultural backgrounds.

Expected outcomes include fewer disciplinary incidents, improved student attendance, higher student grades, higher staff morale, and a lower level of staff burn-out.

ENVoY is a vehicle to shift educators from seeing themselves as Bastions of Power to Instruments of Influence.

Topics of Study are: The four times teachers most often use management techniques

1. Why non-verbal messages are more effective in classroom management than verbal messages
2. Recognizing and responding to the various learning styles of students
3. Disciplining for student needs rather than for teacher needs
4. Establishing and preserving relationships of influence

Why ENVoY?

Professional strength

This program, when used by cadres of instructors within a school, brings out the professional strengths of all the members involved.

Wealth in our classrooms!

We need to elevate ourselves from within. . . we need systems which enable us to profit from the wealth of abilities that lie in insular classrooms. Sharing our collective wisdom It is only through sharing and supporting processes that the collective wisdom of the staff emerges.

Who is the the program for?
Teachers at all levels. The classroom can be viewed with educational binoculars. The primary tube focuses on curriculum. ENVoY is the management tube which supports the learning.

The ENVoY series is based on Michael Grinder’s best-selling books for educators, widely used in the U.S., Europe, Australia, Asia and Latin America. The seminars and book ENVoY, are powerful whether you are teaching in K-12 or adult education.

The principles of non-verbal management can also help parents and anyone who works with children maintain positive relationships with young people while respectfully adhering to high standards for behavior.

One teacher who has been through the training recently summarized this point:

"Before the students care what you know, they need to know that you care."