While skiing we found some interesting treasures in the trees.

Let me know if you say your underwear in the trees.

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When you hear yourself say I hate them so much, what is your real point?

You hate them so much you could….. Kill, cripple, disfigure, destroy or eliminate? I doubt it.

I think that your “hate” is an emotion that you can’t describe in the moment and the only word that gets you close is “hate” but what do I know, I’m German.

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I’ve been playing around with GarageBand 09.  I’ve been working with some new beats in GarageBand, I’m trying to find the right tones and tempo for my new music video (click here to see the summers biggest hit)

I thought it would be cool to do a tutorial on creating your own free ring tones

When your done don’t forget to sync your phone to iTunes.

hauler-back if you love your garage band and share your thoughts and comments in the area below.

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Guess who got the last laugh?

Last night I was watching Saturday Night Live and Ms. Swift was the host and she took some pretty funny pokes at Joe Jonas, Kenya West  during her monologue and she surprised your teenage daughter with her mention at about 1:32.

So instead of honoring the guy who invented the fur lined jockstrap called “The Duke” I thought very appropriate to show the world what is being called “the monologue song.”  Enjoy

Yes, I’m fully aware that I spelled Kenya’s name wrong, I did that on purpose.  The real spelling is D-U-M-B-A-S-S  (do the chickens have large talons?)

If I was that talented the world would be even more screwed up.

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Close your eyes and think of someone who your not a fan of.  Think of someone you would love to give a piece of your mind to.  With eyes still closed visualize their face right in front of yours.  You can see their eyes, wrinkles and probably smell their RSB.  (Reasty Shit Breath) Now hear yourself say…………  end visualization exercise.

So the local gas refinery exploded a couple of days ago, no one was hurt but there was a lot of property damage.   Tonight I’m writing and thinking about how i’m going to rule the world when I hear the news people talking about those who bought homes next to the refinery demanding someone explain how this could happen.

Since I play a geophysicist on YouTube, I know I’m the most qualified to explain what happened.

So here goes……..You bought a cheap house next to the refinery.  When you made your purchase you never said to your spouse “hey is there a chance the refinery across the street could blow up and shatter our windows or better yet an explosion could blow the roof off our new cheap house?  Honey, is there a chance that one of those exhaust stakes could shoot sky high in the air only to impale our 5 year old in the back yard and if these things do happen who is going to pay for it?”

Those questions were never asked and now that it’s happened you want someone to explain it to you.

Here’s your explanation—–Your A Dumbass.  By the way, this is how your visualization exercise should have ended.

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In case you missed it, a gunman opens fire at Fort Hood in TX killing 12 people and wounding 30 plus others.

THE CAUSE ……

Military officials said that Hasan (the shooter) was “pretty upset” about his deployment to Iraq.

File this under “did you read the fine print?”  Somewhere buried in a paragraph in the enrollment form is language that says something like this; “there is a good chance, possible a great chance you could go to war.”

If your thinking of a career in the military common sense should tell you that you could end up in war zone.  If your shocked they deploy you, your a dumbass.

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I’m not talking about the band, I’m talking about the New York Yankee’s.  I hate them!  Just like I hatted the Boston Celtics when I was a kid, I hate the Yankee’s

I only like the Asian dude who ripped Philly for 6 RBI’s.  Since this is the last year on his contract, he’ll leave for the big money and the Yankee’s will find someone to replace him which is code for they will write another big check.

Why The Hate?

1. Spike Lee
2. The Boss
3. The Boss Jr.

Even though I’m not a fan of Vince Mcmahon and I knew the XFL would die, I really did like the equal pay bonus for winning system.  The Yankee’s seem to buy their Championship every time.  Its hard for a working stiff to get excited about baseball when you hear some guy sign a 160 Million dollar contract while your on Government Cheese.

Hate me I don’t care but it’s true and they can do that because they have the money and small markets can’t.

Share your thoughts and comments in the area below – come on Yankee haters you know you want to

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1. MOVE = a new beginning, a fresh start, adventure, starting over etc.
2. MOVE = Again, stressed out, pissed off, angry, frustration etc.

I have neither response!  Why?  Experience

I’ve moved 12 times in the last 19 years.  That’s right TWELVE.

The reason I have been off the grid for the last couple of weeks is because I was MOVING again.

If you haven’t moved in the last 3 years, its time to put a sign in the yard, sell that old place and find yourself something new.  Not because you need a bigger place, I think everyone should move because you will be surprised at all the cool stuff you’ll find.  Stuff that you already own but never use.

Now that my move is officially over here is a list of 10 things I found and never knew I had. Oh and for the record, the move is over but the unpacking has just begun.

1. 9 computers
2. 3 pair of Levis (tags still on)
3. 4 drills
4. 11 shirts (tags still on)
5. 2 microwaves buried in storage
6. My marbles
7. 6 jackets
8. 5 crescent wrenches
9. 14 box of nails (fixing house lost inventory)
10. 3 TV’s

That’s just the top ten.  I also found a bunch of towels, stoneware, sheets, tables and chairs.  This was a really good move for the folks at Good Will; all totaled I took 7 truck loads of good stuff to them.

Here is the best part.  All of my friends, family and neighbors who offered to help.  Or maybe they just wanted to get rid of me and all my stuff.  Either way the world would be a much cooler place if more people offered up a little service to their fellow men and woman.

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Sorry for last week, i know you missed me. I’ve been busy getting ready for the big move.

I’ve discovered that if my speaking thing didn’t work and my real estate thing didn’t work and my airsoft general thing didn’t work and my video directing thing didn’t work, then I could always become a Black Eye Pea.

Just for the record, my team did not lose.

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The Singlespeed World Championships were held in Durango CO.  It’s call the single speed because everyone’s bike has ONE gear instead of the typical 27 gears found on most mountain bikes.  The race is 22 miles long, with 5,000 vertical feet of climbing. And it was a tough course… narrow, twisty single track – maybe 18-30 inches wide… with big rocks and boulders and cliffs and roots and drop-offs and such

His son’s seat breaks in the first mile leaving just the naked post.  Instead of quitting he decides to keep going and finished the full 22-mile race. It took him right around 4 hours 30 mins.

Can you imagine standing up and pedaling as hard as you can for 4.5 hours? That’s a long time to be standing on your pedals… but he wasn’t gonna quit.  Here is the video of him approaching the finish line on his no seat naked post bike.

I consider myself pretty tough but this might be the toughest kid on the planet.

I guess I have no excuses and can’t bitch at my 10 miles tomorrow.  At lease my seat will be on, well, I hope it will be on.  Either way you get to decided; quit or continue, you’ll make the right choice.

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