A Life Transformed

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:02:00 +0000

UPDATE: This blog has moved to the new site http://mercymultipliedblog.com/! View the latest posts, and subscribe to Choosing Freedom!

Freedom in a Beautiful Paradox

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 15:41:00 +0000

What a sweet reflection and update from 2014 Mercy Graduate Kimmie.

"I wanted to share something that I have been thinking about tonight...

So I leave for Africa tomorrow!!!! And I'm so excited.

I realized I was weighing my bags on the exact scale that I use to weigh my self worth on. What a beautiful paradox. The very thing that dictated my day, the very thing that I sought my value from is the thing I am using as a tool to chase the dreams God placed in my heart, so very long ago. This scale that was once bondage is now being used to prepare for my mission trip to serve the beautiful people of Niger. The thing that I allowed Satan to use for evil, God has turned into a beautiful paradox.

Just like my story."

Step by Step

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 15:00:00 +0000

This week, 2010 Mercy Graduate Sarah shares about her recent trip to Haiti. I love when God uses beautiful Mercy grads to spread His love all over the globe!! Freedom begets freedom...begets freedom...

Pa Za Pa is a Hattian proverb meaning “step by step.”

As I stood on the top of a massive hill I had just climbed in Port au Prince Haiti I couldn’t help thinking, “How did I get here?” And I felt Jesus whisper “Step by step.”

5 years ago, all I could think about was ending my life. From depression to a disability, life didn’t seem worth fighting for. In the hope that someone else would show me how to fight, because I didn’t know how anymore, I stepped foot into Mercy Ministries, and began a journey that would change my life forever.

While there, I encountered Jesus like I never had before. I discovered the joy of His love and plan, and we have been on an adventure ever since. From Mozambique Africa to Port au Prince Haiti, this journey has taken me places I never could have imagined.

Across from where I stood on the hill was a mass grave where 200,000 unidentified people were buried – people who had lost their lives in the earthquake Haiti experienced in 2010. While in Haiti, I saw so much beauty alongside so much heartbreak, and I couldn’t help but think, that’s like life when Jesus comes. He uses all of the things that break your heart to show you who He is. It was easy to see the heartbreak in the poverty and hunger, and lack of education, but the beauty was still there.

I saw beauty in the kids I got to love, who had lost their parents in the earthquake. Kids like Ricardo who though he had special needs, had one of the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen, Gessica, who though she was 7 preferred to be cuddled at all times, and Wilson who wanted to be my walking buddy all week long. I saw beauty in the way Haitians were rebuilding their country and encouraging each other every step of the way. And all I could think was, “if I had taken my life all those years ago, what an adventure I would have missed out on.”

I was in Haiti to discuss moving overseas with a missions organization to teach English as a Second Language when I graduate with my Master of Arts in English in December. The closer I get to this dream, the more thankful I am for my Mercy journey. Though I am still not sure where I will be in December, I can say with certainty it will be an adventure, life with Jesus always is. And I will get there Pa Za Pa, step by step.

Piling Rocks

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 21:56:00 +0000

We are so excited to share this blog post from Mercy graduate Andrea on her 3 year graduation anniversary!!!

Have you ever wondered why God commanded Israel to pile up rocks? God does explain himself (which I am so thankful for). God says it’s to remember. The simple pile of rocks will cause you to remember. So when your children ask you can tell them the story of the redemption. I have piled my own rocks in the past. I have written journals and taken photographs all in hopes of one thing. To never forget and always remember the faithfulness of God.

Today is one of those days where I look back and remember. I don’t often do this because my past no longer defines my future. However today I celebrate the memories. I am no longer in that place of pain. Three years ago I graduated from Mercy Ministries and am forever thankful to the staff who believe in God to do a miracle when I didn’t have the faith to believe for myself.

As I look back I see a girl who was caught up in her emotions. I was a girl who had given up on herself. I remember a girl full of anger and bitterness. A girl who had lost all hope.

I may have given up, but God didn’t. It was not easy and healing is not for the faint of heart. It was in my moments of greatest weakness that I found God. The deepness of the hole can be overwhelming. Instead of fixing my eyes on the obstacles and pain I choose to take it day by day.

When you hit the bottom there truly isn’t any where to go but up.

I learned that freedom came in a moment, on a cross. I was so enamored with a love that I had never experienced before that I prayed a very dangerous prayer. I asked God to heal my heart. I told God I would stick it out and go through whatever I needed to. Then life got hard. Very hard. Bad things started to happen and I made very bad decisions. I had crawled into a hole so deep that I couldn’t see the light of day anymore.

I learned that freedom came in a moment and is kept through small decisions.

Since walking out the doors of Mercy Ministries I have made small decisions. I have photograph, documented and shared the faithfulness of God. I have witness the heights of the world mountain climbing. I have faced fear head on while whitewater rafting and zip lining. I got married to my best friend, a man who I never dared to dream of because he is that amazing. I have chosen to forgive, love and trust. I fought for peace. I have made amazing friendships. I have loved my family and paid of my school loans. I have learned to laugh again.

In the last three years I have lived a life I could only dream about. I am free.

I like to think that my life is simply another pile of rocks. A pile of rocks that people will want to know the story about. This plain old pile of rocks will continue to point to the one thing that matters most. Because the girl who couldn’t keep food down or laugh has been transformed into a confident, loving woman who is no longer afraid of failure. I am simply a pile of rocks and ove it.

Using Your Authority Over The Enemy!

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 21:17:00 +0000

2015 Mercy Graduate Courtney shares a little of her heart and a great video to put Satan in his place! thanks Courtney! I can't stop watching this video!

I have noticed that our thoughts can get somewhat out of control if we aren't careful. The devil is really sneaky and he’s constantly just waiting for that perfect moment to interfere in our lives and rip us to shreds. I mean the Bible clearly tells us in John 10:10 that the thief comes ONLY to steal, kill, and destroy.

To me it seems like mostly all of us have at least that one sin that is just super hard for us to get away from or avoid. Whether it be self-harm, looking at pornography, dealing with an eating disorder, promiscuity, drugs and/or alcohol, etc. Nobody makes a sudden drastic decision to become a slave to a certain sin. It's baby steps. We get trapped in these things and then try to convince ourselves that “it's not that bad,” or “ it won't lead to anything worse.” But in reality, we at this point don't even feel like these sins are avoidable. We feel as if we have no control.

If we start tracing back to how these things get started, it usually starts with something like- “just this one time,” “just this one website,” “I'm just gonna self-harm this one time,” “I'll just skip this one meal.” Isn’t it crazy how that's all Satan needs though? All he needs is that one step at a time, and then soon enough he leaves us feeling stranded, in a world of sin just wondering how on earth we are ever going to find our way out. When Satan gets his hand in on a situation he just leaves us feeling guilty, abandoned, unsatisfied, shameful, hopeless, etc… Because that's all he has to offer. When our happiness and wellbeing become based off of these addicting sins, we will never be truly happy because sin is not satisfying.

I know this because I have been there. I allowed a long period of time in my life to be filled with and revolve around addicting sins. For the first twenty years of my life I had no clue that I had authority over the devil. I didn’t know that I could tell him in Jesus’ name to go away and that he had no other option but to leave me alone. I was believing all the lies and wasn't quite aware of the truth. I knew a few things the Bible said, but I didn't dig into it, persistently filling my head and heart with the truth. Which made a lot of room lies.

Thankfully though, Jesus gave us authority over the devil. Yes, the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy; but if we are on guard his schemes will no longer get the best of us. We have choice. We get to choose whether or not we grant the devil success in our lives or not. Jesus is right there by our side with the power and the truth to help you overcome! We do not have to live in shame! His truth is able to keep us from stumbling, and when we get weak He will give us the strength to tell Satan to go away because we are fighting the good fight and we are on our way to victory! Jesus is on our side!

Before Mercy I had never heard God speak, I didn't know I was even capable of hearing Him speak, and when I prayed I always felt like I was talking to a brick wall. It didn't feel like a relationship and it was exhausting. But now that I know that He speaks, He is like a chatter box and He is my constant helper. He helps me recognize the lies now and then acknowledge the truth. Satan has no power over me now, I am an overcomer!

While at Mercy, we watched a teaching and the speaker said something along the lines of, “You can't work out and build your muscles up for a year and then think you're good to go for the rest of your life. You're gonna soon be back at square one if you do that. You have to keep working out building those muscles in order to keep them strong.” That stuck with me as I approached graduating from Mercy, because it is the same thing with the Word. I knew that if I stopped carrying out all that I learned at Mercy once I left, then I would most likely fall on my face. I couldn't think that since I had learned the truth, pressed in, listened for God’s voice, and grown so much at Mercy that I was good to go. I knew that I was going to have to continue doing everything I learned at Mercy once I got home so I wouldn't end up back at square one.

I am home now and I am pressing in more than ever. I am being intentional about filling my heart with the Truth and staying in the Word because I don't want to give the devil any wiggle room. I am speaking truth out loud over my life, reading my Bible and GCP, and making sure to listen to God’s voice everyday. Hearing God’s voice is something I am very passionate about because it is ALWAYS the truth and it brought me out of bondage. I also like to make sure the devil knows what God is saying to me, too. He tells me I am beautiful, and I thank Him out loud for it. He tells me that I am literally the most adorable little thing to Him and I can't help but get huge grin across my face. I know now how precious I am to God and I like to make sure the devil knows too.

Of course lies still try to steal the stage sometimes, but I can assure you that they aren't stealing the spotlight. I am able to recognize those lies now before I allow them to cause a scene. I do follow the Good Shepherd and I know His voice and the voice of a stranger I will not follow (John 10:4-5).

So this what I tell Satan when He tries to get at me now…

"Wait...what did you say?"

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Thu, 28 May 2015 14:42:00 +0000

Today 2014 Mercy graduate Brittni shares about the all-too-familiar habit we can get in while being physically present in a conversation, but in another place entirely. Brittni says she was inspired to write this after spending time with her niece (featured with her, right).

I was around some family members recently and found myself internally battling between engaging in the conversation and focusing my attention on all the other things I was thinking in my head.

As I reflected on this a few hours later in the day, I couldn’t even remember what the conversation we were having was about. I was that zoned out. This has been happening often lately. It’s this weird battle in my head that goes a little something like this: on the outside-- [listening and engaging]…then in my mind-- ugh I have so much homework, I’m so hungry, what am I going to do on Saturday… [listening and engaging, kinda]… am I going to be able to pay that bill this month… daydream…. daydream… did I turn my straightener off? [listening]… man, I have 2 papers, 4 responses, have to run here and then there…[listening and engaging…not really, but kinda].

I don’t even realize it’s happening I really do want to be fully present in a conversation and truly care. I would never intentionally be rude. But I have recently found myself in this “out of space” stage quite frequently.

But why?!

I felt like God was telling me that I have a very distracted mind right now. My mind is all over the place, most of the time thinking about things that aren’t productive or even relevant. It just wanders away. It starts to become an issue when that distracted mind hinders communication. If it’s hindering communication with family members, then it’s most likely hindering my communication with God! And if it’s hindering my communication with God, what else am I overlooking or passing up?

A few things come to mind at this point, but one word seems to be sticking… SIMPLE. Keep it SIMPLE.

The definition of simple is: “unaffected, non-complex, easy to understand, plain.” Even better is a synonym for simple: quiet.

Instead of a distracted mind, a quiet or simple mind seems like such a better idea.

I feel like God wants us to keep it simple. If we have a bajillion things going through our heads, how are we supposed to hear from God? Or see that someone right in front of us may need to know about Jesus or have a little hope spoken into their lives? When we get caught up with so many things, we lose sight of what is really important.

Simplicity to me means to appropriately focusing minute by minute the best that I can. I, personally, need to take it minute by minute. If I even took it hour by hour, I would have lost myself thinking about food, my next car, my future son's name, if I need to go get gas, who posted on Instagram, what’s new on Pinterest, and probably food a few more times…

Simplicity = moment by moment.

Simple minded = Putting God at the center, and take everything else one thing at a time.

It’s much easier to hear God with only one thing in the way, rather than 30 things.

God wants to talk to us, and he also wants us to talk to Him!

I am personally challenging myself to stop multiple times a day -- especially when I feel disconnected and in my own little world just “thinking” away -- and ask myself, “What is my focus right now? Is it relevant? Is it important?” I replace God at the center and pray for His guidance through the day. Because we need Him all the time! If you’re having a hard time pinpointing or noticing when your mind is wandering, pray for God to help you realize when it’s happening so that you can take authority over those distracting thoughts, because you have authority! If you realize that the theme of your distracted thoughts are negative or harmful, cast those bad boys down and replace them with what God says!

I challenge you to consider doing the same! You can do it!

I pray that we all can learn to live with simple minds and that we start to hear from God in a mighty new way!

“The greatest present that God has given us, is the present moment we are in” - Joyce Meyer

Eagerly Await for God to Rebuild

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 22 May 2015 20:00:00 +0000

Today 2010 Mercy Graduate Alison shares a bit about what God has been teaching her. Alison recently obtained her Masters of Arts in Biblical Counseling. She is a joy and blogs here.

If you are a Christian, you know the joy of God giving you the sweetest blessings and the heartache of God taking away some of the things that bring you the greatest sense of security in this life. I’ve experienced a lot of God’s goodness. I could tell you about how God rescued me from a seemingly impossible and hopeless situation. I could tell you about how He brought me out of a sinful lifestyle that was leading me towards death. I could tell you about the amazing people that God has brought into my life. I could go on and on about how God has blessed me. Yes, I have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

But what about seasons when God’s blessings seem to be absent and pain seems to be the only emotion that we can feel? What happens when something so traumatic occurs that we are left completely paralyzed and unable to function? What do we do when it seems like a bulldozer has systematically destroyed every aspect of our lives, one right after another, leaving nothing left? What do we do when we are used to being able to trace God’s hand in our lives, and then it seems to disappear altogether? I think about the psalmist who appears to know exactly what we are talking about: “God’s way was through the sea, God’s path through the great waters; yet God’s footprints were unseen” (Psalm 77:19). I think about unseen footprints. Footprints mean presence. He is still with us.

In the past year, I’ve found myself in some sort of twisted version of the major aspects of my life being “systematically bulldozed.” So what have I learned?

I have always been good at “pulling myself up by my bootstraps” even when things have gotten hard. I’m the girl with grit. In difficult seasons, it was still relatively easy for me to tell people that things were “fine,” knowing that they probably would be soon. So what happens when no amount of closing your eyes and gritting your teeth could ever get you through a season like the current one? What do you do when the bottom falls out – not just in one area of your life, but when all areas seem to be the targets? God’s answer for me?

You Eagerly Await for God to Rebuild

When all seems lost, God teaches us through His Word to remember. We remember primarily who God is and what God has done throughout history and in our lives. Even before God created the world, He had a plan of redemption and restoration set in place for us through the perfect life and horrific death of His Son, Jesus Christ. He planned to save us from our greatest problem and worst circumstance that we could ever possibly be in: our sin and the resulting separation from Him. We see through the gospel that God loves rescue. He loves redemption. He loves restoration. While this is the clearest and most significant picture of restoration, this theme continues throughout the Bible in significant ways. For example, throughout the book of Deuteronomy, Moses repeatedly reminds the Israelites to remember how God brought them out of Egypt and slavery. It’s a call to remember God’s goodness and faithfulness to them in the midst of a really difficult situation (those days in the desert do not sound like fun to me).

In seasons of suffering, God also calls us to remember. He calls us to remember that “if God did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32). He calls us to remember the seasons when His presence was easier to see and His good gifts were easier to spot. He reminds us through His Word that even when everything hits the fan and the circumstances aren’t changing, He is with us. He knows pain. He knows suffering. He knows heartache. His footprints might be unseen, but they are there. He reminds us to look for glimpses of redemption in each day as we long for the glorious day when all things will be redeemed.

When God gives us grace to see Him rightly, even when all on earth seems to be lost, there is a kind of hopefulness that comes at the idea of waiting for God to rebuild. But here’s the catch that took me awhile to understand: I’m not the one who can rebuild my life and fix what is broken. There’s a sweetness in considering the mess that has somehow become my life and deciding in these moments not to panic and instead to surrender to God’s plans, to rest in His goodness, and to trust Him in His timing. I think that I’m just beginning to scratch the surface of the security that I could find in the Lord as I continue to learn to lean into Him no matter the circumstances.

There have been two verses that God has basically engrained in my mind during this season that have proven to be true over and over again despite many losses. The psalmist explains, “I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing” (Psalm 37:25-26). God has been lending so much to me during this season and I pray that in turn, I will become a blessing.

Flashback Freedom Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 15 May 2015 14:27:00 +0000

For this Freedom Friday, we flashback to our beautiful 2014 Mercy Graduate Francis sharing her story for the 2014 Merry Mercy Christmas Benefit. Francis is the epitome of beauty, redemption and resilience. God's light shines in her smile and in her dreams to change the world!!

Mercy Ministries Graduate Story: Francis from Mercy Ministries on Vimeo.

A special Mom and Mercy graduate shares her heart!

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 08 May 2015 16:00:00 +0000

In celebration of Mother's Day we are honored to share the story of a beautiful mom and 2015 Mercy graduate, Danielle!

When I walked into Mercy in September of 2014, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. This was my pathway to true freedom. As I unpacked my things that first day I’ll never forget the thoughts that crossed my mind of my beautiful children, who I left in the care of my parents. I smiled thinking of their laughter and how much I'd miss it, but in the midst of sadness there was also peace. For the first time in a long time I had made the right choice.

Before Mercy, I was a single mother of three--with no fathers in the picture, and a drug addiction that cycled in and out of my life like a hurricane. I beat myself up on a daily basis for my failures as a mother, and by the time I reached Mercy, I felt like I didn’t even deserve the love of my children or to be a part of their lives. I soon discovered that was a lie planted by the enemy. I felt like my addiction not only controlled my life, but it consumed it from every direction, engulfing the very essence of who I was. I was a drug addict. It always seemed that simple to me. However, during my stay at Mercy, I learned that there were so many things that were controlling my life. I discovered that my addiction was not my problem, it was the solution I chose for my problems. In counseling, the barriers of those problems were demolished and exposed, one by one. One of the most meaningful things I learned at Mercy was to forgive myself for my past and have compassion for the girl I used to be. I accepted the decisions I made out of pain and brokenness and came to realize that through Christ we are all new creations. The Lord is always on my side.

I no longer have fear of what the future of motherhood holds. Rather, I anticipate the joy it will bring me and the challenges it will create. I no longer seek a man to love me or to step in as a father for my children, I rest in solace knowing that my God is a good father. He has it all worked out for my good, and my babies are His children, above all, and I could not ask for more in a father. Being a mother has been my greatest blessing, my hardest test, my longest roller coaster ride, my funniest story, my saddest song, but it has never ever been my biggest failure.

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So for Mother’s Day I would like to offer a few words of encouragement and advice to all the other moms out there and moms-to-be, from my heart to yours. First off, before you consider any other advice or tips out there for being a mother, put this one at the very top of your list: Never ever let the enemy convince you that you’re a bad mother. When he tries, because he will, remember who your Creator is, and know that he makes NO mistakes. He carefully selected you to be a mother. He chose you to nurture his son or daughter. The enemy has no hand in giving life, therefore he has no hand in your calling as a mother.

1. When you get frustrated and feel like you just can’t do it anymore and you want to cry… girl, cry it out! Trust me, it helps a lot and you’re totally normal for feeling that way. Every mother has days when she wakes up and just doesn’t want to do life that day, or the dishes, or laundry, or change diapers, or shower. Give yourself grace.

2. There are no supermoms out there, so do not attempt the “I’m going to do it all on my own” bit. You cannot do it alone. I assure you, I’ve tried. Your elders and other experienced parents are blessings in your life--accept the blessing.

3. Nobody, I repeat nobody, is ever fully prepared to be a mom, and you cannot predict what it will be like. Don’t stress over making everything perfect to bring your baby home. New mommas do not need stress, just focus on your baby, all else will fall into place.

4. For all the single mommas out there like me, just breathe. Mercy taught me the value of routine. When you only have two arms, but more than one child or a newborn, routine saves you a lot of stress, anxiety, and worry.

5. Instead of stressing the mess, stop, and spend time with your child daily even if it’s 15 minutes. Find a group activity to include all your children, but try once a week to make one on one time! It shows your children just how unique God made them and it will change the way you parent on so many levels.

Children are a God-given gift and you were chosen specifically by Him to love nurture, guide, and protect your little one. This Mother’s Day, I encourage you to celebrate your children. Celebrate the honor you hold as their mother and let them know what a blessing they are to you. Let them know that when they came into this world, it was them who gave you life.

A Special Post for Sexual Assault Awareness Month

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 22:05:00 +0000

Today's blog post is from 2013 Mercy graduate, Angie. Angie shares a piece of her story below as we wrap up Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Alongside Angie, we urge you to be on the lookout for those in your life who may be suffering the effects of sexual abuse in silence.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I am advocating on behalf of all sexual abuse. This month, the Mercy Multiplied Ambassador Program challenge was to return to the emotions surrounding our testimony, further inviting God to speak truth over it, and then share it with someone in that context. At first I didn't know how I was going to go about finding someone to talk to, and I brushed it off. However, as the month progressed, I felt it laid upon my heart to utilize social media as a means to reach others.

In the past week I have gone through my photo albums to find pictures of my younger self for the collage featured right. I chose the photos that held the most memories. I often talk to people about my eating disorder, and I seldom share the reason why I had an eating disorder. I am a sexual abuse overcomer, and for the longest time all I did was merely survive the abuse. There was not much joy or happiness that disbursed from me. The smiles I gave were often forced, and in each of these photos there is a definite guard that presents itself. The photo of me wearing a1999 Academic All Star t-shirt is the one that breaks my heart the most. I have allowed myself to feel the pain that I was experiencing at that time in my life, and am thankful that I have given myself that opportunity.

I am here to share with you a small portion of my life. While you read, I want you to try to put yourself in my shoes, and ask yourself: how can I make a difference to someone who is hurting?

My life rapidly changed when I was 16 years old. I had informed a teacher, via an essay, that the harm I was doing to my body through my eating disorder was a result of sexual abuse. I then experienced firsthand how the court system in this country works. I was taken out of my parents’ house, placed into a group home, and then eventually into a foster home. I found myself the topic of conversation at school and at church. I was eventually in a court room facing seven jurors and having a lawyer try to tear my story to shreds. During that year and a half, I faced a lot of rejection, ridicule, and blame. I did not have the support that I have now, and I faced a lot of that journey alone. I found my support in a few teachers at school, a couple of friends, and a family who took me in.

My pediatrician often saw me during my childhood years, and when he found out that I had been sexually abused, he had a hard time forgiving himself. He was often amazed at my high pain tolerance growing up. I had several injuries in which my reactions to the pain did not match the severity of the injury. During my court process I had to go see my doctor for some tests, and while I was in his office, he apologized to me for not doing his job correctly. He told me that he should have asked me more in depth questions about my high pain tolerance. His tone was full of regret, and he had tears in his eyes for the life that I had lived.

I was an angry pre-teen and teen. I was often in trouble for beating up my younger siblings. I had anger consuming my entire being but then became sullen and withdrawn. I would go weeks without talking to anyone at home. I would do a lot of “uh-huhs, mmmms, mmmhmms” and other nonverbal cues to get by. There was often a scowl upon my face, and my hatred for others could actually be felt within my heart. I was often told, “If looks could kill...” then whoever my glare was aimed at “would be dead.”

The clothes that I resorted to wear were tennis shoes, blue jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies. I wanted and needed to cover up my body. I did not want to draw extra attention to myself, so I often wore clothes that weren't very bright. I was not comfortable in my own skin, and the more clothes I had on, the safer I felt.

I am thankful that I am not that girl who I once was. I no longer have the hatred and anger laying upon my heart and squishing the life out of me. I have shared my story so that awareness can be brought to the subject of abuse.

Be aware of the signs for abuse: http://www.parentsprotect.co.uk/warning_signs.htm. I want you to pray for those who are being victimized and pray for the perpetrators. Pray for their families and ask those who are hurting, “How may I help?” Teach your children, spouse, friends, and family “to walk in love, as Christ also has loved us” (Ephesian 5:2).

You can and will make a difference in someone's life. Thank you!

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 17:00:00 +0000

Today's blog post is from Canaan, who graduated from Mercy Ministries in 2000. You can read more about what God is doing in her life and ministry on her website: canaanalbrightmusic.com

I walked into the doors of the Nashville home 15 years ago, pregnant with my third child out of wedlock. I was scared to death, hurt, alone, feeling abandoned and rejected by God and everyone I knew. I had made so many horrible mistakes; things I never thought I could ever come back from. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Sierra on April 11, 2000. With the help of Mercy Ministries, I walked out of the doors with new hope and a foundation of God’s word and unconditional love to stand on.

The years after graduating have not always been easy. I have had many sad times and things that have rocked our family. During a particularly hard season and at a dark low, I cried out to God and asked Him to help me surrender to His perfect will for my life. I went back to the things I learned at Mercy and truly gave Jesus control of my life. It was in that moment that He rescued my heart and my life all over again. He made me completely new to walk in every one of His promises.

A few years ago I started writing a journal about my journey. I stepped out in faith and started telling my story individually and in churches/ministries. From that journal a new song was birthed called “Rescue," which I was able to record and release as a single.

I am here to remind you that we serve a God of restoration and redemption. I know you know that, but sometimes we need the reminder that He hasn’t given up on us. There are hard times after Mercy, things won’t always be easy or without pain and strife. But, He is always there to rescue us and sometimes we need Him to rescue us continually. We are all still on the journey – all on different roads of Him making us new and more like Him every day!

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Alwaysbecoming,

Canaan

An Affirmation A Day Keeps The Negative Thoughts At Bay...

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 18:00:00 +0000

Today we have an awesome blog post from 2006 Mercy Graduate Kirstin. Kirstin is a fitness, nutrition and personal growth enthusiast who blogs at The Balance Culture. Check her out for tips, encouragement, and coaching.

So, I’m guessing that the super-cute title drew you in! So, let’s talk affirmations. Little history here-when I was at Mercy Ministries for an eating disorder (you can read about that here) one of the first things they had me do upon arrival was to go through a list of negative self thoughts (ex. “I am ugly”) and circle all the ones I identified with. There were like a couple hundred of them. This insecure girl circled what seemed like a bajillion of them.

On the opposite side of the paper, there was a positive affirmation that countered the negative thought (ex. “I am beautifully and wonderfully made”). Then one of the staff members tore it down the middle and gave me the list of positive affirmations. Eventually, they typed them all up for me and in a more formal way wrote “Kirstin is… (positive affirmation).

From there I was told to read the list out loud every morning -um, excuse me-what? It was seriously one of the weirdest things I have done in my life and I have done a lot of weird ‘ish’. I remember the first morning barely mumbling each one, rolling my eyes incessantly, and thinking it was the most ridiculous waste of time.

But, something even weirder began to happen. About a couple weeks later, I remember looking into the mirror and thinking “huh, I don’t look so bad today”. This was a HUGE improvement because I had not had a thought close to that in yearsssss.

Slowly but surely the thoughts I had about myself began to change and I started to believe the words I read on the paper.

How could this be? A bunch of sentences I read out loud every morning really carried that much weight and really had that much of an impact on my thought life?

Yes, yes a thousand times yes. Years later I began to study this idea of “renewing your mind” or “cognitive restructuring” as we call it in psychology. It is the idea that you can actually change your thought patterns and chemistry of your brain (almost like rewiring it) through repeating positive, self-esteem building phrases, sentences, ideas, Bible verses, whatever… on a daily basis.

I think of it this way, every time I have a thought and repeat that thought over and over it is like going down the same path in a grassy field time and time again. Over time the path is clearer and more defined and I am able to run through it much quicker. This is actually happening in our brains.

This is also what was happening with my negative thoughts and why it is such a slippery slope. I really believed I was ugly and swore by it (it was smooth sailing down that path) but, as I started to counter that thought with “I am beautifully and wonderfully made”, I stopped running down the ugly path so much and was going down the “beautiful thought” one. The beautiful one became more defined and the ugly one stopped getting used and the grass grew back.

So, now I never have that thought. I have my “ugh, I feel bloated” pmsy moments but, it doesn’t go beyond that. I refuse to entertain those negative thoughts because it is so not worth going back there.

This “cognitive restructuring” spilled over into other areas of my life, giving me confidence, and with confidence came a plethora of awesome qualities.

So, my recommendation to you is to identify those continual negative thoughts! Write them down and find a positive thought to counter them (the bible is an awesome resource for this ) and begin to read them out loud, everyday. I don’t care how foolish you feel. It is worth it if it can change your brain! People do some pretty crazy ‘ish’ to change. You can get away with this one and still feel sane .

A Picture

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:34:00 +0000

2009 Mercy Graduate Ivy Fannin shares an amazing testimony to God's faithfulness and the ways He is continuing to challenge her view of herself. AHH! This is an amazing story!

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When I look at this picture, I think a lot of things. I see a lot of things that others don’t seem to see. I see a fat kid who is jiggling in all of the wrong places. I see every flaw on this girl’s body. I see a girl defeated by the clock as she ran her first half marathon. I see arms that look more like wings, and a shirt riding up because her hips are so big. And despite this being the finish line of a 13.1 mile street run, with more than enough hills, taking her on a tour of the very place where she got a rocky start in life, I do not see a runner. Maybe that is simply because this is my picture, and we are our own worst enemies. Maybe it is because when I was in fourth grade, running through my neighborhood, a car of high school kids who didn’t know me jeered and said, “Fat kids can’t run.” Or maybe it is because I have an over idealized picture of who runners are, and I need to learn to accept that I am a runner, that I am an athlete. Those terms are not defined by size, or even by success, but by a heart who loves to achieve physically and compete and play any sport there is.

About a year prior to this picture, I turned 30. I am still single, and although outwardly successful with multiple degrees and a good job, my body was a reflection of my inside. I was not someone who deserved to be treated well. And it was not fair to expect more from myself when it came to my body and my mind. I had accepted that the path of my childhood determined who I was and would always be. I have always loved sports and played them. I worked out at a great fitness studio called ReFit where the instructors loved Jesus and out of that loved me well. But I was still fat. I know you are supposed to use a euphemism there, but frankly those are more offensive to me than just calling it what it was.

My weight was one of the many things I have battled for most of my life. And in college I found the way to beat it into submission. I would cut out food and use disordered eating to get my body where I wanted it. I would punish myself until I was happy with my weight. Then I would resume a more natural state. I succeeded. I will never be a small person, but I got to the size I wanted. Of course when I went back to “eating normally,” I seemed to just blow up.

While I was in the Mercy Ministries program, my relationship with food (among other things) was addressed, and I saw changes. I graduated from Mercy with a new hope, one I had never had before, and was ready to take on the world. Unfortunately the world was ready to take me on as well. I had a lot of ups and downs--I fell and got back up, just to fall again. While this was not just about my body, it was a good reflection of what was going on inside of me. I creeped steadily back towards the 300 lb. mark which scared me. I stepped back into dangerous territory, “Just to give my weight loss a boost.” FAIL!

Then in March of 2014, I anxiously anticipated my 30^th birthday. It wasn’t so much the number that scared me. It was that I was stepping into that decade with no family. I had to choose to walk away from the family that I was born into because of their unwillingness to have a healthy relationship. And I had heard promise after promise from God that I would have a family of my own. But here I was turning 30 with no husband and no children and with words of doctors saying I probably wouldn’t be able to have babies anyway certainly not the longer I waited.

I will admit, I am a number person and after a week or so, of absolutely dreading my upcoming birthday, the night before my birthday, I heard a small voice in the pit of who I am. This decade can be different. The first decade of my life I was used and abused and treated like trash by others. My life was out of my control. The second and third decades, all I knew was to continue that. But this decade could be different. This decade I could start living life and living it to its fullest. When I turned 30, I decided I would do things differently.

Sure, I changed how I ate and worked on learning that food was not an enemy or a comforter, but fuel created to make me strong enough to do the work I have been called to do. I began to run short runs that were mostly walking. I changed some things that I was physically doing. But those are not things that I had not done before. Something had to change internally. I want to be clear that this was not an overnight phenomenon or instant change. I had to choose and choose again to say and know that I was worth it. That it was okay to be nice to myself. As I combined these thoughts and chose to believe them even when I didn’t really, I began to see more life in who I was. This manifested in my physical body. But this also manifested in my relationships.

A friend had asked me about training for a half marathon a few months later, and I quickly told her no. Sure I was running some, but I knew I was not a person who could run a half marathon nor could I keep up with her, as this would not be her first rodeo. Over time, however, I decided to try. Now I did not just decide to jump into that. In fact, my only concession months later was, “I will run with you one time and if I don’t die, I will consider it.” That was the beginning of November. I kept up with her, and she was patient with me. Through this process I learned I could do more than I ever thought was possible. Especially with her beside me. She pushed me by not saying anything but by being by my side.

As I trained, I had a new focus--health. And a half marathon. Thirteen-point-one miles that I was now committed to finishing. It took commitment to myself, to my partner, and to my goal. Sure, I continued to lose weight, but I found my obsession with the scale decreasing. I learned to use food as fuel, admittedly the hard way. You need calories for energy and especially when you are running a longer run. But none of this could have happened if I did not have a true shift of heart and mind about who I was and what I was worth.

Race day has come and gone. It was hard, to say the least--physically, the hardest thing I have ever done. I wanted to give up. But more than I wanted to give up, I wanted to finish. It wasn’t pretty, but I crossed the finish line…and I am far from finished. We are called to run this race, and I continue to do my best. I am not defined by my outward appearance, or by others, but by my heart and those plans God has laid out for me. I never dreamed one of those plans would be a half marathon, but I’m guessing that will not be my last! Our lives are a lot like a long endurance run, and even when we stop to rest or simply slow down our pace, if we follow the path God has for us, we can succeed more than we ever thought we could.

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 03 Apr 2015 15:25:00 +0000

I thought this update from 2012 Graduate Leslie was a perfect fit for Good Friday. When hope seems lost, the Father always has a greater plan. We ALL deserve a life of bondage, the blood of Christ removes that guilt. Jesus not only died for us, but He left the tomb empty. So grateful for a Savior today, and everyday.

"If you told me four years ago that today I'd be engaged to the most amazing man, working at a God-centered church, and surrounded by supportive friends and family; I would've thought it too good to be true, my guilt would've told me I deserved nothing but a life of bondage. Today, God has blessed me with a life better than I could've ever imagined. Thank you, Mercy Ministries, for providing a place for girls to come and encounter the forgiveness and the love of the Father."

10 Reflections On Relationshps

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:08:00 +0000

This Freedom Friday post, 2010 Mercy Ministries Graduate Catharine shares a little bit about what God has been teaching her about relationships.

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I’ve been thinking a lot on relationships. Since moving to a new city, it’s been an interesting journey being isolated in a new town. The Lord has created a very rich opportunity for me to reflect, rejoice and heal from the ups and downs of previous seasons.
As I’ve engaged in this process…Here’s what I’ve discovered:

Preface: This is regarding platonic, peer friendships not people you’re: dating, married to, mentoring or reaching out to (although some of it may apply). Also, of course, there are exceptions to most/all of these, but these are areas I have noticed new revelations of freedom, breakthrough and ‘opportunities for growth’ based on how I have related to people or been related to by people in the past.

1) There are different types, intimacy levels, and seasons for friendships. Be honest with yourself on who is which type of friend in your life and learn how to just go with the flow.

2) Difficult circumstances test a relationships longevity. Is it a solid foundation or sinking sand? For me, living in a different town has dramatically sifted through my relationships and has surprised me quite a bit. The ones that have remained are people I can trust fully. Remember: fall outs or short seasons don’t negate the legitimacy of a friendship.

3) Your inner circle should be on the smaller side (both genders, mentors, family) and should consist of people you can be vulnerable with, accept you, love you and most importantly, ‘call out the gold in you’….even when you’re in an broken spot. If your inner circle is huge, I’d start asking Holy Spirit if you’re being truly deep, vulnerable and how you can begin to risk again.

4) Be intentional and vulnerable with the ‘right’ people and don’t chase the ones that don’t invest back. If you only give attention to the ‘wrong’ relationships… You’re going to lose the ‘right’ ones.

5) God should be the only one to tell you who you are. Any labels from others that don’t line up, toss ‘em. And if someone from your inner circle is the one putting labels on you, you need to talk to them and pray about whether they can be trusted with your heart.

6) Balance. Don’t be all serious, it isn’t healthy. And being all fun isn’t either. It’s both, not one or the other.

7) Space and boundaries are good things. Boundaries are important. Period. Maybe I’ll elaborate on another post. And I’m not saying only see each other once a month, but choosing to not do everything together is healthy and prevents burn out. Especially in the beginning of a friendship because you are still figuring each other out. Getting too close, too fast, then realizing you don’t have similar core values… Just hurts everyone involved.

8) Be more honest that you think you should. If something is concerning you (whether you’re unsure of their character, feel misunderstood, etc) and it’s causing relational distance. Bring it up, as soon as possible. Keep short accounts.

9) In the same token… Don’t over confront. Exercise your muscle to be unoffendable. Forgive quickly, without even talking to them. Confrontations are taxing on both parties, so be beyond sure that your heart is right. If you’re going in angry or bitter and expect to tell them all the things they’ve done wrong… You are the one that has some things to work out with Jesus before you talk to them. Remember: they aren’t responsible for your feelings, you are.

10) We are created for deep, intimate relationships with our fellow man. God created Eve because it was not good for Adam to be alone, Jesus had 12 disciples, Jesus established us in the Church.

Relationships aren’t about what you can get, but I’m learning how to recognize the life-giving vs. the life-stealing relationships in my life. As I realize the life-giving ones, I need to seek The Lord on how I can serve, honor and encourage them. And as I discover the life-stealing ones, I need to ask The Lord what role He wants me to play in that person’s life.

Joy in the Wilderness

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 18:00:00 +0000

We are honored to share a piece of 2009 Mercy Ministries Graduate Courtney's heart and perspective in a trying season of her life. You can check out Courtney's blog here for more encouragement and real truth!

Seasons are a strange thing--particularly when the ground is covered in white fluff and the calendar still reads March. Spring sure hasn't sprung around here just yet!

I think the Lord, likewise, allows seasons to continue or transition outside of the time frame which we see fit or think to be convenient. Sometimes seasons flow from one to the next so smoothly it takes months before you even realize the transition happened. Other times one gives way to another like a high cliff drops off into the valley--sudden and plummeting. Nothing about the latter transition seems normal or comfortable. Much to our dismay, it even hurts and we find ourselves asking, "God, what in the world are you doing? Where are you and why does it have to happen like this? This makes no sense!!"

This season has me nursing the wounds resulting from that sort of plummet from the dreamy, mountain-top high to the valley low. Don't get me wrong--I know His hand to be trustworthy and gracious more than I ever have in my life. Actually, I don't think I would know grace like this had I not made such a sudden descent into this wilderness season. But ya'll, these days are hard!

When you think of the wilderness, what images come to mind?

For me, the wilderness looks like a dark, dry, dead, lifeless and continually decaying place of habitation. I can't imagine much life able to thrive in such a place. For that reason, these wilderness seasons seem so lonely. God did send Israel there for 40 years, right?

But then God says: Behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And THERE I will give her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor (the valley of trouble) a door of HOPE! [Hosea 2:14-15]

The tears flowed steady and thick as I read these words, realizing His great love for me. It's not this image of one just falling into the dark abyss and landing face-flat amidst a dry and decaying land from which He is distant and concealed at best. No, God says He allured Israel into the wilderness; that He spoke tenderly over her. It was THERE, not on the mountain-top high or the depths of darkness, but there in that dry and desolate place where God promised to give her provision and redemption. He says that through the valley of trouble He will make a door of HOPE! Through this season, through the wilderness.

I am thick-headed and easily caught up in my own plans. Perhaps it took the wilderness for me to see Him this way and for some of myself to simmer down enough to recognize my need for Him—and His grace. Maybe this season is one of tunnel vision that re-focuses my eyes to see His face in all of His glory and see my own a whole lot less.

It's as if sometimes there are things we can only see in the dark. Maybe instead of cursing the dry season or thinking that something is wrong with us, we look up and see Christ. Maybe He shines even brighter when we feel like everything is going crazy. And maybe all we have to do is keep looking up. Keep looking to Him.

There is a this song that repeats on my Spotify these days, and it says, "We fix our eyes on what we know is true. Even in our shame, grace makes a way through. Be our obsession, be our constellation, because you are light in and out of every season."

God is this vocal point, this unchanging bright star, and He calls us to look, to stare, to BEHOLD when everything is feeling out of control. "Because sometimes when you really want to see the stars in all of their glory, you have to go out into the wilderness."

God continues to affirm He is so very near through this season by these words from Jeremiah,

"The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built. O virgin Israel! Again you shall adorn yourself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of the merrymakers."

Perhaps the wilderness provides grace lacking in other seasons. If that's the case, I'm so very grateful. He loves us with an everlasting love and promises to continue His faithfulness to us! He will rebuild what's been broken, and such redemption is cause for the dance of the merrymakers!

Praise Jesus He is enough to satisfy our every need, that He does indeed redeem--and that perhaps He uses the wilderness to help us see our need for such redemption and then to find it there too. It is your face, Oh Lord, which we seek.

"For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish." [Jer. 31:25]

Languish: to become weak or feeble; to droop; to be neglected; to pine with desire or longing

Replenish: to make full or complete again; to fill anew; to supply with fresh fuel

Christ making full or complete again that which was drooping and neglected--well, that makes for such great joy.

If it takes the wilderness to replenish me, then may I be taught by such joy!

Building Spiritual Endurance

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 13 Mar 2015 14:51:00 +0000

Today Mercy Ministries Graduate Elyse shares how God met her in an unlikely place to encourage her to press on and forward.

One thing I discovered about living here in Missouri is that there are many areas to go hiking. I didn’t know I had a deep love for hiking until this past summer. I found myself out and about almost every day! There is just something about breathing in the fresh air as you walk through those wooded and hilly areas...

A few weeks ago, the weather was unquestionably beautiful here! It was in the 50’s and 60’’s most of the week and I decided that I was going to enjoy as much time outside as I could get before it dropped into the 30’s and 40’s again. I loathe cold weather even though I lived in Michigan for most of my life. As I began my workout, it started on a paved trail. It was quite easy and I didn’t even break a sweat. The path took me along Springfield Lake where I could look out and see the stillness of the water. It was so peaceful. Not long after that, the path took me past the water and through a field. I walked along listening to Bethel Music and enjoying the scenery.

Eventually, I got to the point to where you either turn around to take the paved path back or continue across the road to a path which takes you up a hill into the woods. I crossed the road and headed up the hill of rocks. I decided to run them to get my heart rate up. I quickly found that it was quite muddy as I slipped a couple times, but I made it up, huffing and puffing. I walked along the trail, observing the scenery and ended up seeing a few deer run across the path in front of me. (Unashamed side note: I love deer and think they are so adorable. I will try to coax them into letting me pet them. Clearly, it doesn’t work but I like to think one day it will!)

As I continued my hike, I started getting tired. The hills kept on coming and I kept on hyperventilating. Okay...maybe I’m exaggerating a little but I was tired! The trail had become even muddier, my bad knee started to throb, the wind started blowing intensely, and my body was screaming “STOP!” I wanted to give up so bad and just go back to my van, which I lovingly call "Big Bertha”. I thought about taking a short cut but knew I needed to finish. As I continued, the path took me into an open field where it was a little easier to walk and I was able to catch my breath! I knew that path would take me through another wooded area where it would be muddy and rocky but at that moment, my lungs got a break.

This is when the Lord started speaking to my heart and showed me how my work out on that particular day could be compared to our spiritual walk with Him…

Throughout our lives, how many times does God lead us through difficult “workouts?” We walk through easier seasons, like my walk on the paved path along the calm lake. Everything seems to be going well. Our relationships are in a good place, we have a stable job with good pay, everyone close to us is healthy, and overall we are living a good life! But eventually, we get to those “rocky”, “hilly”, and “muddy” areas of life. You know the ones you don’t feel like you can make it through? You keep going but it seems impossible and the idea of quitting seems so appealing. You try your best. You keep breathing. You keep walking…maybe even crawling at times. You can’t see the end. But you choose to believe that God has something great in store for you. He is molding you into what He wants you to be and He is using your circumstance to do so. Just as not being physically active will not increase your physical endurance, shed fat, and build muscle, not going through hard things won’t do much for your growth spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. God allows us to go through things so we can develop a dependence on Him and if we never went through those hard seasons, we would be a one weak individual.

I say all of this to encourage you not to give up. God has a plan and a purpose for the things you are going through. You may not see it now but God is working behind the scenes in your situation. He is a faithful God who wants the best for you. You are worth it and this journey with Christ is definitely worth it!

The Joy of Freedom!

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 21:30:00 +0000

We could not help but share this amazing update from Mercy Graduate Sara! Her story proclaims redemption and joy.

"On February 22, 2015, I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do. It took many years to get to this point, but it was well worth it. This day was special for many reasons and signifies many things. It was specifically planned so that it would be as close as possible to my one year graduation date from Mercy Ministries. That alone made it very special. But there is a back story to this accomplishment. I got into Tae Kwon Do after the last time I was sexually abused. It was a way of making sure I could defend myself, but also a way to force myself to interact with others, despite my fears to do so. After a few months, I began to make friends with all of the others in my "color belt" group. I truly enjoyed it, so when my struggle with an eating disorder got so bad that I had to quit, I was devastated. I had to quit for almost a year and a half total by the time I was able to come back to it after Mercy. By then, all of my friends had their black belts and mine was still sitting on the shelf. I was in a complete new group of people and felt the pain of failure many times, because I was so far behind everyone else. I worked hard and continued on and was finally able to celebrate not only getting my black belt and re-entering the same group as my friends again, but also the freedom that came along with it. Now I can work out and not worry about my weight or my health! I have made many new friends, and best of all, I can feel the joy that comes along with it all--something I had not felt for some time before Mercy!"

Celebrating Four Years of Freedom!

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 20:48:00 +0000

We are honored to featured the below post celebrating, 2011 Mercy Graduate, Rachel's four year graduation anniversary! Check out Rachel's blog here.

Four years ago, I was sitting at the front of the room with four other girls, our backs to a large picture window. Unbeknownst to us, there was a beautiful snowfall outside. It was the perfect backdrop for the occasion: our graduation from Mercy Ministries. Though our sins and pasts were once as scarlet, they had become white as snow.

February 9, 2011 was one of the most beautiful, freeing days of my life. I had waited almost eight months to receive my Mercy graduation ring (left) and officially become a Mercy Grad, a title that held high honor in my book. There were times (even the week before graduation when my RSD decided to flare up) when I wondered if I’d be able to complete the program, but I felt so proud and grateful when I was presented with my ring and certificate.

I entered Mercy Ministries on June 17, 2010. At the time, I wasn’t super into the idea of being in another “treatment center” of sorts. I had spent four months at a residential facility in Arizona the year prior, only to return home with more problems. I wasn’t totally convinced that this would be any better, but I had made up my mind to either give Mercy a try or give up on life altogether. There was still that tiny spark of hope that kept me going as my feet stepped onto the foyer tiles and I committed to putting forth my best effort.

The shy, wounded girl with anorexia, a cutting addiction, depression, and anxiety who first entered the doors of Mercy was nothing like the confident, hopeful Mercy Grad who stepped from those tiles and out into the “real world” that snowy graduation day. I had gone through such a transformative process during my time at Mercy. I chose to let go of my past and trust God with my future. I had an amazing counselor to talk to, a great staff to lean on, and a group of lifelong friends who were all walking through their own battles but encouraged me along the way.

I can’t even describe the process of how I changed, but it was a daily decision to choose the higher path rather than being dragged down into my addictions and problems. It was a season of receiving tough love, having difficult conversations, crying tears of brokenness, and praying many heartfelt prayers. It was scary and very, very hard…but it was also incredibly life-changing. My time at Mercy saved my life. It restored my hope, transformed my mind, and gave me the opportunity to go from darkness to light.

I am forever thankful for my time at Mercy Ministries. Without taking the risk and walking through those doors that sunny June day, my life would have taken a much different path. In fact, I don’t think my life would have had many more days. Today, I am reflecting on my time at Mercy. Remembering the days when I wanted to quit, the days when life was so overwhelming, the days I just wanted to go home. I’m also remembering the days of victory. The day when I realized that the numbers on the scale no longer controlled my feelings toward myself. The day when I decided to give up control. The day when I finally graduated. I’m remembering with a full heart and a sense of awe for how blessed I am.

Four years and still walking in freedom daily. Thank you, Mercy.

Flashback Freedom Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 20:39:00 +0000

Sometimes you just need a great story of transformation. We are flashing back all the way to a 1999 Mercy Graduate, Lisa. Lisa shared her transformation for our 30th Anniversary Celebration in 2013!

“Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I’ll take care of you and your children.” He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart." Genesis 50:20 (MSG)

Lisa's Story from Mercy Ministries on Vimeo.

If Only You Could See

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Thu, 29 Jan 2015 22:24:00 +0000

By Mercy Graduate Brittany

Brittany wrote the below letter to all of her Sisters in Christ who needed a little reminder of who they are! We hope it blesses you today as well. There is something powerful about hearing and speaking these words over yourself.

My Dearest Sister,

You are beautiful. If only you could see.

See the flawless features of your face. Your captivating personality. Your laugh. Oh, how seldom you laugh. But when you do, it’s glorious. It fills a room. Like your smile. Your real smile. Not the one you put on for the world, but the one that comes from a peace. A peace that’s so elusive. I see the way you strain. You twist and turn and grasp and cry. If only you could see how close it was. A state of rest. The one you so deeply crave. The one you deserve, despite your doubts. If only you could see.

See that you are not alone. That even as I speak to you, there are 3 others doing the same. Expressing their state of brokenness. Their shame. Their hopelessness. Their disappointment in what they’ve become. You are not alone in your desperation. In your struggle. See the anger in my eyes. The fire in my heart that burns with rage at the evil one who crushes your spirit and those of the ones I love. If only you could see the lies. That you have been deceived. Oh how my heart breaks for you. For us. If only you could see.

See that the world is more than a shadow. That you are more than skin and bones and blood coursing through your veins. You have a heart. A beautifully intricate heart filled with unique passion. Talent beyond your comprehension. You are an all-consuming radiant being. Carefully crafted by an Almighty God. If only you could see that “complicated” meant complex, not tormented. Intricate in the most compelling way. If only you could see.

See the light that is your life. The darkness that would fill the world if you were not in it. The richness you bring to the lives of those who love you. See that you are loved. Not for what you do. For who you are. See that perfection is a myth. One that torments lovely women like you. The trap. Oh, the trap that leads to death. Darkness. See that grace covers everything. That you are enough. Now. In this moment. If only you could see.

See that you are where you’re supposed to be. That you are fulfilling God’s will for your life in the present. I see your yearning. The way you punish yourself and wonder. Oh, your restless heart. It searches and searches and searches for answers. The fear. The fear that you are not where you’re supposed to be. That you made a wrong choice. That you’re on the right path. See, sister. See! That every choice was a right one. That you are always in God’s presence. Even in this season. If only you could see.

See the end of the story. The one that culminates in the ultimate victory. The crown upon your head. See that you are a princess; a daughter of the King. Oh, the beauty of your character. The loveliness of your heart. The purity of your spirit. That it’s okay to yearn for more. That you were never meant to be satisfied here. That you were created for a different world. A better one. If only you could see.

See, my sister. We are blind to the truth of our identities, yet we see it so clearly in others. Believe, my sister. That these words are true for you. That you are beautiful. Brilliant. Radiant. Unique. Priceless. That you are not alone. Oh, if only you could see. That the stories you hear are rare. Embellished. Edited and revised to convince you that you are not enough. If only you could see my heart behind this letter. That your story…your doubts…your loneliness…your shame…your restlessness…it is universal in a way that is devastating. If only you could see.

See yourself in the mirror. See the glow. See yourself surrounded by your sisters. Feel the love you have for one another and…for a moment…have compassion on yourself. Let your love for others reflect in your own eyes. See the truth and not the lies. See the beauty within yourself.

Broken Places

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 15:21:00 +0000

By Mercy Counselor Stephanie Peveler, MSW

Broken. It can describe the areas in our lives where “our world” has crashed down around us, a place where darkness has engulfed our mind, will, and our emotions. A point where there is no further place to fall. It is in this place that our heart shrills a desperate cry to be rescued, to be found, to be pulled up out of that pit. Yet does anyone hear? Does anyone see?

We scramble to fill the void, to numb the pain, to feel powerful, to see just a glimmer of light amidst the darkness. Thoughts pound our minds....Why don’t people like me? Why me? Why don’t they see, or do they see and yet turn a blind eye? Will this ever change? Can this darkness be dispelled?

We grasp at anything and anyone that will make us feel alive, to feel seen, to feel loved, even for just a moment, to feel special or just plain wanted by someone.

In the depths of the blackness, our hearts cry out for someone to come to our rescue. Yet, is there someone strong enough to fulfill the cries of our hearts? Can things change? Is there a reason why breath still fills our lungs? In this black place, will there ever be a glimmer of hope?

With a loud and resounding voice, the answer to these questions is YES! Don’t you find it ironic that darkness brings us to the realization that we need the light? With light, darkness is quickly dispelled and sight is given to the reality that lurked around us. Some despise darkness, yet it is in the darkest of places where light shines the brightest. In John 8:8, Jesus states, “I am the light of the world; whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

photo credit: feedly.com/e/lseeneqs
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The Light, Jesus Christ, is the only answer to our brokenness and our darkness. In Psalms 34:18 it states that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalms 147: 3 declares, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Therefore, His promise is to heal and to save as we cry out to Him.

That moment, we choose to take the outstretched hand of God, He gently wraps His arms around us and our brokenness, and His Light permeates the walls that have kept us captive. He gently takes our hand and gives us the strength to take that first step. His voice is tender as He lovingly speaks our names and surprisingly His voice is filled with adornment rather than judgment, disappointment, anger, or irritation. His eyes are gentle and kind, infused with a sparkle that stirs hope within us as we look into His face.

It is in those broken places, when we choose to invite Jesus into our brokenness, the lies of the enemy are exposed, God’s true heart and character are revealed, and the healing oil of His presence begins to saturate our brokenness to bring healing to the wounds of our hearts.

If we are honest with ourselves, we all have broken places in our heart. We are often terrified to look at those places. We pretend they are not there. We pretend they are healed, yet they are oozing with infection from the wounding. They are the sources of our negative reactions and unhealthy cycles that keep us stuck in the past, in the abuse, in the fear, and in the self-protective cycles. We believe the lie that God ordained the breaking, yet the brokenness of others is the real author of our pain. If we look even further, we find the enemy hiding and watching us, with a smirk on his face, thinking he has made the final blow to our hearts. Yet, Christ stands ready and willing to bring His healing to the scene of our wounds. With Christ, the enemy is a defeated foe. With Christ, we are Victors and no longer victims! Are you willing to invite Him into those broken places of shame, fear, rejection, disappointment, abuse, or anger? Will you look up and allow Him to reveal His light to you? He will not cross your free will, so He awaits your invitation.

One last thought as you ponder the above... don’t ever forget that throughout the entire Bible, the Lord’s name Emmanuel: God With Us is proclaimed. In Isaiah 43: 2 God says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

In the darkest moments of our lives, the Lord God, the Creator of the universe, God, Emmanuel is with us, with His hands wrapped around us. Will you invite Him in today?

One Minute Health and Fitness Tip from a Mercy Graduate

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:00:00 +0000

by 2010 Mercy Graduate Caitlin

Caitlin is currently working on her Bachelor’s Degree in Sports Fitness and Nutrition. She gets to use her passion for fitness and the tools she learned at Mercy Ministries to bring hope to others! She leads a class at her church for women struggling with addictions to food, dealing with the roots of addiction and bringing hope in Christ. Caitlin’s passion has also provided her the opportunity to give one minute health and fitness tips, like the one below, on a local radio show program. She says, “The Lord taught me at Mercy that in order to walk in abundance, it is vital to be whole in all areas—mind, body, soul, and spirit!”

Turning Fear into Victory!

Fear, intimidation, and uncertainty, we have all felt these feelings, especially when fitness and weight loss are involved. Maybe it’s the fear of taking the first step of signing up for a gym membership, or feeling intimidated in the weight room. Whatever the case, know that every single person faces these feelings. How you respond to these feelings makes all the difference.

In order to reach new levels in life and fitness, it’s essential we all learn how to face our fears head on, instead of allowing those emotions to control us. We can’t be people who are bound by fear, but instead people who make war with anything standing in the way of our goals. Feelings will come and go, but we all have a choice to make: Are we going to run every time we face tough emotions, or are we going to be people who overcome and refuse to settle for complacency? The choice is up to you!

So the next time your feelings tell you it’s just too hard, you’re too old, or it’s not for you, tell them to take the back seat. Choose to step into uncharted territory and watch as those areas where you once felt intimidation become areas of strength and victory. You are worth making the right choice despite tough emotions.

Choose to do the hard thing and watch it become an area of victory!

The Continuous Journey of Healing

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Fri, 09 Jan 2015 16:59:00 +0000

By 2011 Mercy Graduate Samantha

When I graduated Mercy Ministries in August of 2011 I fought so hard to convince my family that I was different; better. All of my effort was put towards holding up an unattainable image of myself, that eventually all the tools I had learned while at Mercy had no room in my hands. I desperately wanted to be healed, but healing was a continuous journey meant to be walked out, NOT proved. About a year later I relapsed into old behavior of an eating disorder: bulimia. Shame washed over me, and the eating disorder quickly began to obliterate who I was and all I had learned.

As I lay in the hospital bed with low vital signs, I was reminded of the popular Deuteronomy 30:19 verse spoken at Mercy by the staff, “Choose Life, not death.” God reminded me that I had a choice, and that it was never too late for healing! I knew He would not only heal me, but He would transform me once I surrendered it all to Him. And He quickly began the work within me. Instead of me trying to fix myself, He took over. I learned that failing is inevitable, and that is what makes His mercy so valuable!

In January 2014 I unexpectedly met my husband. God had been working on healing my mind and restoring relationships that had been damaged by the eating disorder, and as soon as He brought Noah into my life, He began another level of healing in my heart. He was teaching me, through Noah, what a relationship with God looks like. A relationship with Him is meant to be a passionate love story with never ending communication, excitement, joy, thrill of being in each other’s presence, and unconditional love.

In August of 2014 (three years after graduating Mercy Ministries) I married the man God had hand-delivered to me! And God has not ceased to bless us. He is our Provider, our Defender, our Healer, and our Savior. Not only has God restored all that the enemy came to kill, steal and destroy, but He has given beyond abundant blessings. Daily I put on my armor and pick up my sword, and those tools I learned while at Mercy Ministries remain in hand. My passion for God is a beautiful love story that I enjoy sharing with others!

Song Dedicated to Mercy Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Mercy Ministries of America) — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 17:19:00 +0000

Today is Giving Tuesday, and we are loving this song "Numbered on His Heart," written for the girls of Mercy Ministries by songwriting duo Bjorn and Tara. 100% of their download donations for today will go right back to Mercy, so please check out and download their song! Lyrics below...

One, two, three, let the Love that is Him be the words they see
Four, five, six, share the Promise to live restored and free

They are numbered on His heart
Every girl is loved
As the broken’s re-made whole
Let His Mercy speak through us

See her face, no more pain, not the same, morning’s Joy has come
And now her scars are a beautiful part of who she’s become

They are numbered on His heart
Every girl is loved
As the broken’s re-made whole
Let His Mercy speak through us

Generations, echo Glory
Singing songs of freedom
Each life changed will transform cities
This is Redemption’s anthem

They are numbered on His heart
Every girl is loved
As the broken’s re-made whole
Let His Mercy speak through us