Thursday 10 September

Gosh. It’s Thursday. The week is just burning by and I’m running after it in my slippers, curlers in my hair, hoping to catch up. Who’d think that a person who doesn’t participate in the workforce could still be tethered to the days of week. And yet I am. Somehow Saturday and Sunday always summon a looser feeling in my body, while the weekdays are buttoned up, layered with hopeful little tasks, many of which I will not complete. There’s always the To Do List to keep those tasks contained, though. Fear not!

I am back to doing Morning Pages this week, something I’ve done on and off for a couple of decades. I’m enjoying getting back into them, unpicking wildly divergent thoughts and feelings in a ‘ranting of woman in attic’ sort of way. It’s got to be good for us, I think.

It’s still dark outside, but the birds have been warbling and chirping for a good hour and half. Do you think they, disturbed by all the light pollution, manage a few hours sleep and then just think “Well I’m up now” and start singing? Perhaps thinking they’ll have an afternoon kip later, to make up for the broken sleep? Do birds do this in the forest? Begin their (adorable) chatter at 4am or so? To be clear, I like it, but I was just wondering if they’re happy or if we’ve done this to them, sort of thing.

Above: Cheese and Tomato Jam on toast

Breakfast was tomato jam and cheese, grilled on grainy bread with a big cup of tea. I made a big batch of Shop House Fried Rice last night, so that will be lunch, I think. Or there is leftover Cauliflower Soup. Decisions, decisions!

Getting dressed: Black Levi’s 501s, striped ASOS long-sleeved tee, fair isle socks, Merry People boots

I’ve been thinking a lot about a film I watched yesterday – Charmian Clift: Life Burns High. It’s yet another capture of a writer who is both clinging to and sabotaged by her relationship. Is this just what relationships are mostly like? Or is it a writer thing? I wonder this because so many of the films I’ve watched lately feature women being overtly or covertly sabotaged by the person that’s supposed to love and support them – their domestic partner. Anyway, the film was very moving and I’d recommend it to anyone interested in life/writing/both.

Good things

I watch my daughter retreat into a decade she never lived – and I cannot blame her.
A cute stripey crocheted cardigan to make.
The most recent edition of Feeling A Bit Sh*t (by me!)
The twilight of Edna O’Brien: son chronicles novelist’s dedication to her craft and the dread of loss
What are the ‘books of your life‘?
I love everything Ashlie writes.
How great is this Substack? There’s also a book, as you might know.
A helpful guide to grevilleas.
This book sounds so good!
Annie Dillard’s obituary (gift link)

Interesting things

Nara Smith says she’s not a Trad Wife.
What the backlash to the Industrial Revolution can teach us about handcrafts in the age of AI – ‘… craft can mark a re-calibration of our relationship to the material world grounded in care, doing things well, and at a human not industrial scale.’
This is happening to me on a big scale too. (Not good!) Now if you Google one of my recipes, it will often show up in the Google (AI) preview, in full. They’ve scraped my blog so you don’t even have to visit me to get some of my content these days. Google are just publishing it, pretty much as their own. Ugh. Not to mention a bunch of my books have been stolen for AI content.
The bombarding of childhood.
Can consciousness exist without a body?
How five cats dropped on an island resulted in half a million birds a YEAR being killed.

Above: L/ Work-in-progress chaos R/ Crochet rectangles in progress

Friday 11 September

My slow watch of The Airport Chaplain is getting tense. The episode I watched last night featured Hugo Weaving’s character (Tobias) finding himself in particularly hot water. My whole self was on edge for this FICTIONAL CHARACTER, PIP and I really need to get better at sorting and processing the things that matter from the things that don’t. I’ve stopped watching True Crime after being hardened to it for decades (just because I don’t think it serves me in any way anymore) and now I’m utterly sensitised, soaking up every imagined scenario in drama series like it’s happening to me or someone I know. Why a I like this? Is that why some people consume media about True Crime? As a sort of worst-case-scenario exposure therapy, the endurance of which desensitises and (theoretically) forms a protective shell, (hopefully) meaning their own life experiences and events don’t seep in quite so badly? (I’m not saying this actually works, but it might be one explanation for this True Crime consuming phenomenon!)

I managed a short, slow walk this morning (after skipping it yesterday), so I’m feeling pleased with myself and like I might be emerging from a few bumpy health days. Honestly sometimes the less I do, the worse I feel. It makes no sense, but is typical for some people with my chronic illnesses (ME CFS, fibromyalgia, POTS.) I just have to accept it and not get too cross at how illogical it all can be.

I wrote my Morning Pages today about some of the things that help and hinder my health, and it was interesting to see them all in one place. I tend to compartmentalise and tuck the illness chatter away as much as possible, once I’ve done what I need to do to look after myself or explained my absence/low effort. It was interesting to think about all the looking-after things that comprise my days. They’re like little seams in a bigger web, all pretty invisible unless you’ve got your noticing eyes on.

Above: Scenes from my short, slow walks

Getting dressed: Black Levi’s 501s, striped long sleeve tee, H&M knit, fair isle socks, Merry People boots

I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner this week, and it’s coming today. We have (another blinking) rental inspection coming up, and the old vacuum was not doing the job at all. It’s the classic low income earner penalty aka The Boots Theory. You can only afford a budget vacuum, which means it might only last a year at best. And then you have to buy a new budget one. Which will only last a year at best. And around and around it goes. I think this is the fifth vacuum we’ve had since we came back to Melbourne. I’m hoping it lasts a little longer than the others as it’s a name brand one.

Also, walking is thinking, isn’t it? I mean, it’s thinking in motion, if you are able to do it. (And obviously not everyone can walk, so please know I’m mindful of that and don’t send me angry fist-waving messages.)

Above: Scenes from my short, slow walks

Saturday 12 September

The sunrise was particularly showy this morning, throwing golden beams out across the local oval, which was already prettily dusted in frost. Another morning with nobody else out walking, thus I did a short circuit and nipped back home as soon as I could. I spotted lots of bulbs popping up in front gardens; freesias, Spring stars, jonquils, tulips, daffodils … blossoms and blooms waking up after months hidden away. It’s such a lovely concept, right? The tucked away bulbs waiting for the right time to show themselves when the time is right. Maybe I’m a bit like that, stowed away in the bubble of chronic illness, waiting for the right conditions to reappear?

Over breakfast (hummus and tomato on toast) I watched the most recent The Mindful Narrowboat video, then did some reading (The Wedding People and Middlemarch) and then watched an ABC program about tiny homes (which I note that some councils are making it impossible to utilise this more affordable accommodation.)

Getting dressed: okay it was the same as yesterday, sorry not sorry.

I popped in to watch June for a little while, while her parents did some outside chores. We played with her Duplo zoo animals (mostly found at the op shop), sang some songs and talked through some things. She gave me a five minute hug when I arrived, so as you can imagine this was very pleasing (plus a few little pats on the back from her to me too … something every cuddle needs.)

Then it was home for rest, a movie (The Enchanted April … adorable), a bowl of leftover fried rice and some tidying. My new vacuum came yesterday and it nearly sucked the floorboards up, so that bodes well, doesn’t it? (It’s a Bissell stick vacuum.) Also? Kate sent me a box of fruit and veggies and some Danishes and other treats today too. How lucky am I? THANK YOU, Kate!

Above: Box of treats from CERES Fair Food – thanks to Kate. I’m a lucky duck.

Monday 15 September

I’ve used up all my audiobook hours on Spotify. I have to wait 18 days for them to reset, or pay $17 for more hours. I’m going to wait. All this is to let you know that if you are the sort to fall asleep when listening, and then repeat listen to the chapter you snoozed through, you will run out of hours quick smart. I’m going to set the book aside and borrow something else from the library … Okay, I chose Look What You Made Me Do by John Lanchester. So far, so good.

Breakfast was hummus and tomato on toast, with some sliced roast potato for extra delight. Breakfast should be delightful, shouldn’t it? I mean, it sets the tone for the day. I sprinkled a bit of Tabasco on the toast too, because we’re out of sriracha and I like a bit of a spicy kick to help me wake up. Perhaps you do too?

This morning I’m going to go and help Rin with June for a while, then home for rest because I’m in a bit of a mini crash at the moment. Not sure why I’m feeling worse than usual, but there’s not much logic to ME/CFS etc. so I will just go with it.

The ranunculi in my garden are popping up all over, their colourful little faces turned to the sun. They’re remarkably cheering and I think I’ll plant even more next year because you can never have too many uplifting blooms, now can you?

Getting dressed: Obus jeans, striped long-sleeved tee, H&M knit, Birkenstocks

I’ve been trying to watch a (judgemental) 30 minute documentary/factual program every day for the last week or so. Today’s was an old BBC one about girls sharing a flat together. The other day I watched one about British women’s style in the 80s and last week I watched a different BBC one about spinsters. It’s incredible how attitudes have shifted in the decades since these were made. And yet, in many ways, they have not. They’ve just gone underground.

… I ended up seeing Rin and June in the afternoon and having a little play/sing together. Ari dropped over too, so June was very pleased as Ari is her favourite person much of the time at the moment. We sang The Wheels On The Bus and June stared me down, silently and seriously encouraging me to do the correct actions for each verse. And there are a lot of verses. I bought her a little travel case of magnetic blocks earlier in the day, so we played with those for a while too. (They’re for older kids, but we play with them under supervision only, then put them away.) And chased each other (quite slowly) around the kitchen table.

I was too tired to make a proper dinner, despite best intentions, so I just had toast and tea and that was okay. I watched an adaptation of a Rumer Godden book in the late afternoon and enjoyed it so much. It’s based on An Episode of Sparrows, apparently, and is called Innocent Sinners. It was very midday movie in the late ’70s at your Nan’s house sort of vibes. I’ve spotted a documentary detailing Rumer Godden’s life, so I’m going to watch that tomorrow.

Tuesday 16 September

Urgh. Definitely in a crash, but that’s okay. Crashes happen. I just need to take extra care to go slowly, still keep moving, drink my electrolytes and rest when I need to. Hopefully I can get past it in a day or two. I knew it was coming, because my vision goes blurry when there’s a crash incoming. I had hoped for the best, but alas it was not meant to be.

I still managed my (very early) Morning Pages and to make myself a very delicious breakfast of tomatoes on toast (using this recipe, subbing canned tomatoes in for the fresh.) YUM.

In the afternoon I tidied up my room a bit (we have a rental inspection looming) and then watched the film adaptation of The Greengage Summer by Rumer Godden. It’s called Loss Of Innocence and it was very dated (older man/teenage girl romance, as was often the case unfortunately) but also interesting. It’s on YouTube.

Dinner was Sticky Pork Stir-Fry with rice (the one from the television ad, in case you’ve seen it!) and it was very pretend-Chinese and delicious. I doubled the sauce recipe, which is a thing I always do with dressings and sauces.  And garlic. Bonus? I got to use some of the veggies from the CERES box Kate sent me on the weekend. (So nice of her!) I fell asleep super early, after an episode or two of Bump. I’m up to Season 3. I am really loving watching it again. I didn’t watch all the episodes the first time ’round, and now that I am I can see the cast/writing going from strength to strength.

Above: Sticky Pork Stir-fry with Jasmine Rice

Thank you to the following readers for their extra support … Kate F, Annette H , Mel, Kris N, Lara, Leonie, Darlene, Emily, Verity, Marianne, Angela, Yvette, Margot.

Wednesday 16 August

Up at a quarter to five, for some Morning Pages, some Italian lesson, reading and hot tea and pet pleasing and the like. Then a hot shower and out into the day for a slow walk around the block listening to an audiobook. After that? Home for cheese on toast and more tea, and then coffee and some time watching this interesting and bookish video, skimming online content and that sort of thing.

Getting dressed: Levi’s light blue tapered leg jeans, blue long sleeved tee, H&M rugby knit in maroon and cream, white socks, (at the moment) slippers.

I’m going to try and do some meal prep today, so that there’s some nourishing options in the fridge. And hopefully some more reading, if my wonky eyes can hold out.

I’m still reading Middlemarch, but am up to some chapters that are mostly about men’s lives and I find those bits less interesting than the women’s experiences. I’m up to Chapter 17. Have you ever read it? It’s one that gets recommended online very frequently, so I am glad to be dipping in finally.

I put together a couple of shelving units to store my ever growing library in. Then I watched a film and did some crochet. And after that I roasted some veggies, meal prep style, and made some sausages for dinner as well.

Not much reading today, due to eye situation, unforts.

Above: L/ Hummus, sliced potato and tomato on toast R/ Tomatoes with ginger and soy on toast

Friday 18 September

I had the most delicious breakfast, reader. It was toast topped with avocado, roasted red pepper, roasted zucchini and honeyed eggplant. Gosh. A handful of CERES cherry tomatoes on the side and splodge of sriracha. Yum. I wolfed it down with a giant cup of tea, as I planned the day.

… Turns out I had such a good day. I didn’t end up with any visiting plans so I did a little grocery and op shop run (haven’t been to the op shop in ages!) I found a Dorothy the Dinosaur and a Playschool Little Ted for June, plus a vintage board book, so that was pleasing. And I picked up three books for me too –

1. Goodbye Without Leaving by Laurie Colwin
2. The Other Half of August Hope by Joanna Glen
3. The Crane Wife by Patrick Ness

Above: Three op shopped books

While I was in the car, I listened to my new podcast addiction – Remotely Lit. I love it so much. It’s an intelligent, interesting, chatty program discussing the writing life, books and publishing, all within the scope of ‘the dynamic and diverse literary scene of lutruwita/Tasmania.’ Yesterday’s episode (for me!) featured the fascinating Johanna Bell and the one I listened to earlier in the week was with Katherine Johnson (whose book Every Wild Soul I am currently reading verrrrrry slowly and with anti-binging intention!) and another recent excellent one featured Rebecca Armitage. I can’t wait to listen to another one tomorrow! I have the one featuring the New Norfolk (my Tassie haunt during COVID) bookseller from Black Swan cued up.

After that I came home to rest. Then I washed the doggo. Then I did some weeding in the garden and it was lovely. The first day in ages that it’s been nice and not too soggy underfoot. Soggy enough to pull the weeds out pretty easily, so that was a total bonus. There were many worms! Many ranunculi! Many little seedlings popping up where I’d thrown them in during Autumn and Winter.

In the late afternoon I made a Greek-ish Tomato, Green Bean and Potato Stew, and I had that for dinner and it was super good. Lunch was a plate with sliced baguette, hummus, and some of the veggies I made yesterday. Also super good. Doesn’t nourishing and super delicious food just make the day so much better? I had lunch while watching a lovely and SAD slice-of-life film, 23 Walks.

In the evening I caught up on some Housewives shows and then fell asleep very early, due to all the weeding.

Above: L/ Dippy Toast and Cauliflower Soup R/ Shop House Fried Rice a la Marion Grasby

Saturday 19 September

I’m going to get some compost today and then sow some tomato seeds and then pop into Rin and June (and Paul’s) house. She will be very interested in the new things and I predict she will bring the soft toys to her shoulder, tuck them into her neck and pat them on the back. This is her signature ‘SO CUTE!’ move and I live for it, dear reader.

Breakfast was baked beans on toast, with some sliced avocado and some of yesterday’s Greek-ish stew on the side, all washed down with a giant cup of tea. I am drinking Nerada English Breakfast at the moment and liking it a lot. Also it’s under $6 for a big box as its everyday price.

Getting dressed: Blue long-sleeved tee, navy plaid sundress (from Salvo’s yesterday – $7), Birkenstocks (brown, from Saver’s).

It’s going to be warmish today, so I am going to add a cardigan and all will be well. Perhaps some leggings for the morning chill? I think so.

Above: The ranunculi are coming up!

I popped in on Rin and June in the afternoon – after a pretty quiet morning. We played for a couple of hours and June especially liked a) a bouncing game we dubbed Boing b) running in circles around the kitchen table and c) me pretending to be a very gentle bear, pawing her with my pretend bear hands when she requested it. I took the books from the op shop, and the Little Ted and the Dorothy the Dinosaur toy. Dorothy was a huge hit, despite being a very tiny version. Rin shared videos of June out for the day on Sunday with Dorothy as her trusted companion.

In the evening I had a glass of wine and plate of snacks and watched one of my favourite YouTube channels (it’s a Melbourne one too!)

Above: Roasted veggies on toast … yum!

Monday 21 September

Gawsh. You know when you forget to cancel a free trial and they hit you with a $200 charge and there’s no live human to talk to about it? Yes. That. I signed up for the MyHeritage free trial – trying to distract myself from some recent yuck family stuff by … researching family online! In a dejected headspace, I didn’t add ‘cancel free trial’ to my calendar, like I always do. Thus last night $200 disappeared making my bank account $100 overdrawn … and all I could do was lodge a support ticket and hope for the best. The kicker though is that MyHeritage has been sending me emails nearly every day about ‘smart matches’ for my family tree. In fact over 14 days, they sent me 22 emails. Did they send me an email reminder about my subscription renewal approaching? Um, of course they didn’t. Ugh. This sort of ‘dark pattern’ model should be illegal, right? And yet it is a business model for businesses like this. Anyway, hopefully I can get my money back, but I know it’s gonna take a while. Sigh. Now I have to do some tap dancing to ensure I can afford to go to the doctor tomorrow, buy groceries etc. It’s fine, it will be fine, but it’s so annoying (of me and of My Heritage!) The perils of precarious living (thanks to chronic illness). Sigh again. Anyway. Sorry. That’s a bit boring for you to read. Ugh.

Above: Sowing tomato seeds on the quarter moon

All said, the weekend was nice, apart from that bump in the orad. I did some tidying for the upcoming inspection, ate some good homemade snacks (Greek-ish Tomato, Green Bean and Potato Stew, some Roasted Veggie Toasts, Balsamic Chicken with a non-creamy Potato Bake etc.) My energy is improving and my pain is not as bad as it was a week or so ago, so that’s good too, right?!

Today I was up early for Morning Pages, some reading (eyes are getting better slowly!), an Italian lesson, a French lesson and a long, hot shower (it’s hair washing day!) Breakfast was toasted light rye piled with roasted/stewed veg and … a giant cup of tea. So delicious, I can not tell you!

Above: L/ Morning scene at my desk R/ Beth Brower’s book has a MAP in the front. So Milly Molly Mandy of her. LOVE!

I managed to sow my tomato seeds on Saturday, when the moon was in its first quarter, so I’m excited to be looking after those for the next few months. I sowed some for Rin, Paul and June’s house, and also some for Ari and Indi’s house. It’s nice to grow plants for each other, I think. I bought a bunch of seeds from Seeds of Plenty a little while ago, because they had trusted and interesting varieties. I can’t wait to have that tomato leaf smell back in my life, to pop a cherry tomato in my cheek, to watch them ripen from pale jade to crimson. I also planted cucumbers and zucchini. (I just need to keep an eye out for frosts and bring them indoors if one is impending.)

Getting dressed: ASOS birthday jeans, light blue denim chore jacket (op shopped), fair isle socks, Birkenstocks

Our extended family opened a new restaurant down on the Mornington Peninsula yesterday. If you are down that way, it’s on the foreshore at Frankston and is called Roccella Lido. Worth a drive for sure, especially for the excellent celiac safe menu items (there’s heaps of them!)

Above: My Snuggle Stitch blanket work in progress

I’m going to publish this post and set about the rest of the day now. I’m so glad you popped by, petal. Thank you for reading my blog. So nice!

x Pip

If you fancy, buy me a coffee —>  https://ko-fi.com/piplincolne

PS – sorry for any errors/omissions in this post! it happens sometimes. due to me being me.