For the past couple of months, I’ve been in hibernation. I’ve been slowing down a lot. In a good way. Reconnecting with my home, my family, NOT spending hours sucked into my computer, but spending “quality time” with my family and with…myself. So maybe it has been hibernation from the online world and from the world of volunteering for this, that and the other thing. And it feels GOOD.

I’ve been doing some cleansing too – of the body, home and soul. I am feeling lighter every day.

I really did intend to write every day on this blog in December and do the #reverb10 prompts (which I really, really like), but then more powerful intentions took over and I just went with it. I have been writing, just not publicly. I’ve been journaling and taking notes. I’m taking a class in Ayurvedic living (yoga off the mat) and am immersing in Anusara yoga. I have been working (as a lawyer for a tech company) – not a ton, just a perfect amount. I’m not taking on new clients. My intentions for life are stronger than they’ve ever been. My kids are happier. My house is more in order.

On this blog, I won’t be writing anything remotely commercial any longer. I’ve taken down some links (I’ve kept some) and I hope it cleans it up a bit. I’ll likely do some more cleaning. The clutter of a busy online life has added to the STUFF in my life. I am changing things up. I’m not sure exactly where it will all go, but it is changing. I am going super simple, simple, simple.

Kristin von Ogtrop's book about working moms, 'Just Let Me Lie Down'

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

———————————–

This year I have let go of overcommitment, of busy-ness.

For the past six years I have been going crazy a bit.

I have been on the board of one organization or another. I have worked part-time (and sometimes full-time) from my home and cafes all over Silicon Valley. I have said yes to this project and that speaking engagement and to bringing the snack.

I have worked hard and learned a lot, but also made many friends. These organizations and commitments have been a big part of my community, especially since I have had kids.

But…I needed a break.

Last spring I had lunch with Kristin van Ogtrop, the editor of Real Simple magazine, as part of a Silicon Valley Moms Blog Book Club event. She was talking about her new book “Just Let Me Lie Down.” As much as I resonated with things Kristin talks about in her book from a working mom perspective, she said something that day that struck me as a way I do not want to live my life. She said something along the lines of having to give up friends, as her life was too busy.

I nodded, but my brow furrowed. What happened to my friends? I mean, really happened? What time did I have for them? Life HAD gotten too busy.

This was a sad, sad statement to me.

So I let go of a lot of things this year in order to claim some time and sanity back for myself and for my family.

Some were hard to give up – being on the board of my kids’ preschool, for instance. I love those people and I liked being a part of shaping what our school would be up to. But I decided I could do that in other ways. It is Ava’s last year at Explorer and I want to just soak it up and be there as a “regular” parent. I’m enjoying my time with my school friends without the added responsibilities of board work.

I’m much happier for letting go. And for getting back.

———————————–

This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

———————————–

This year I started to enjoy cooking, something I never thought I would say. It came about (indirectly) through getting back to yoga, like many things this year. I read an article in a spring issue of Yoga Journal about soup – the writer’s description of finding joy in cooking really amazed me. I had started to see food in different ways before this, having gone from coffee to tea last February and eating more living foods in general. But after reading this article, I was sort of in awe of food. The mystery of cooking started to seem like something accessible to me.

I started to cook. Some simple things. With recipes, ALWAYS with recipes. I asked my husband for help – he knows how to cook and I am not afraid to ask him how to boil water if I don’t know how. Kidding, I know how to boil water

But when I cook, I am truly a beginner. I am open to suggestions, even…criticism? Yes, I don’t care if you tell me it sucks. I am learning, I expect for some things to suck. I am a little like a small child when it comes to knowing what to do in the kitchen. I am not afraid to ask in the grocery store what fennel is – I honestly don’t know and I can only find out by asking.

I wonder about all things food.

———————————–

This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

The Golden Gate Bridge, taken as I ran across it at 2am during The Relay race with my team http://www.EatBlogRun.com

December 3 – Moment

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

———————————–

My second leg of The Relay race, a 200-mile race run with a team of 12 from Calistoga to Santa Cruz, California, made up for my first. My first leg was rated as “easy” (4.5 miles and flat) but, being hot and mid-day, conditions I never willing choose to run in, and through never-ending boring streets of downtown Napa (not the beautiful winery part), it turned out to be “very hard” for me. More important than the conditions, I had also taken Benadryl soon before my run – I know that seems odd, but I had a terrible case of poison oak, which I am highly allergic to, so it had been my habit to just pop some pink pills every 6 hours or so for the previous week and I saw no reason why the race would make that different. Offers of water and Gatorade from my passing team van (my awesome team was called Eat. Blog. Run.) were turned down by me – no, no, I’m fine. After I turned them down a few times, they went on ahead to the next hand-off point. By the time I handed off to my teammate Carrie I was decidedly not fine. Man, I was beat.

12 hours later, I was up for a “hard” run – 7.1 miles with lots of hills. I had rethought my strategy. I skipped my Benadryl, figuring out that was why I was so incredibly tired. I decided that I was going to take every offer of Gatorade. In fact, I asked my team to make Gatorade stops every half mile. And, I was excited. This leg might be long and tough, but it was a gorgeous calm and cool night (actually, it was 2am), I had bonded with my teammates (Van 1: YOU ROCK!), AND I got to run through the lovely town of Saulsalito and across the Golden Gate Bridge to San Francisco.

I got the handoff from Christine (read about Christine’s #reverb10 moment, funnily enough, about the leg she ran right before she handed off to me). As I started out, my teammates yelling “Go Linsey!” from behind me, I switched on my iPod. Two minutes later, I shut it off.  My soundtrack for this run would be the wind, waves and the quiet. I didn’t want to be distracted by anything else.

Although I had told myself I would walk the hills since I had been so tired earlier (oh, and I had done NO hill training whatsoever), as I started mile 1, I felt so good that I ended up just powering up the first hill. The #EatBlogRun van was waiting for me at the top of the hill, Christine standing out there in a pink snuggie with Gatorade, Jane, Marie, Samanatha, Sherry and Heather yelling out the windows “JOB!!!”. I wondered what all had happened during Christine’s leg, since she had just had to run through a deserted bike path area where vans could not follow – she had been nervous about it and we had lost walkie talkie contact with her most of the time. But I would have to wait until my leg was over to hear all about it.

I swigged Gatorade. And I powered up another hill.

I ran past art galleries in Saulsalito, looking at the city lights of San Francisco. I ran up and around the winding roads climbing to the entrance to the Golden Gate Bridge. I passed walking runners. I was passed by running runners. It was all good. My headlight showed me the way, my turquoise Run Team Sparkle skirt showed cars that I was coming (these skirts are fashionable AND reflective – perfect for night running ).

My team kept stopping every half mile and I keep sipping the Gatorade. Mental or physical, I don’t know. But I was glad to accept the help of my team this time around. I rocked on up another hill.

As I came to the start of the Golden Gate Bridge, I thought of a mom from Ben and Lily’s elementary school, Heidi, who had just died the day before after a fight with breast cancer that had spread to her brain, to everywhere. I thought of the fact that I was now heading in my 10th year as a cancer survivor. I thought of all the people fighting for their lives. I thought of how lucky I am to be able to physically do this run. To have basic health. To be there for my kids.

I said out loud “this one’s for you, Heidi.” And I rocked across that bridge.

———————————–

This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Stats from a post I wrote on 750words.com about Poison Oak - http://metooyoublog.com/2010/08/31/756-words-about-poison-oak/

December 2 – Writing.

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

——————————–

Picking the kids up from school, taking them to school, washing their hair, helping them with their homework, working in their classroom. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Dishes. Sweeping. Work. Email. Contract review. Reading books for book club.

Basically, I have very, very, very little time to myself. I wake up to a noisy house with tons of things going on, to get done, to clean up, to prepare, to be on top of. I am never ahead. I never have “free” time. Once the day starts, I am basically screwed.

I have eliminated a lot of obligations that are non-essential over the past year. I had said yes to so many things, things I wanted to do, that were important….but really were not essential. But still, such busy days.

I would like to MAKE TIME for writing each day. Jeff just started being in charge of the morning scramble to get everyone out to door to school, so that I can have some time to myself each morning. This is where that time can come from.

I have felt the need to fill up that time with an hour of quiet work (not writing, but work that I get paid for….ah, the bottom line), but I really need to have this time for myself. And be selfish and insistent upon it. Get up early (6:30 maybe), go for a walk or run, sit quietly for 15 minutes and then write for 30 minutes. Every morning. I think I can do it. I know I can.

———————————–

This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Beach yoga in Laguna Niguel. Photo by Carla Duharte of babyjidesign.com.

December 1 – One Word.

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

———————————-

PRESENCE

Last December, I decided that my word for 2010 was going to be PRESENCE. I wanted to stop multi-tasking and Doing. So. Much. Too. Much. I was done with being super-mom, super-attorney, super-volunteer. I wanted to spend more one-on-one time with my kids, with my husband. And I started to do yoga regularly again…after a 10 year break.

It has been amazing. Presence has transformed my life, continues to transform my life. Not only did I go to that first yoga class, I added many new habits to my life each month that has made me healthier and more present in my life overall. And I remembered some things, in this new space that I created by reducing some non-essential obligations that had been taking my energy away from my family and friends. I remembered more about who I am as a person. As many parents of young kids, my identity has been really entangled with my kids these part almost 7 years (Ben and Lily will be 7 in less than 2 months – crazy!).

My word for 2011 is ADVENTURE. I’m going on some. I’m not sure what yet, but this is where my roots lie. My parents are super-adventurous, I married a guy who loves adventure and its something I want to share with my kids more.

And…I. Can’t. Wait.

———————————–

This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Last year, I participated in a blogging challenge #best09 put on by Gwen Bell, one of my favorite bloggers (whom I met in person before finding her blog – I sat next to her at speaker training for Blogher’08 and I’ll never forget the fabulous red heels she was wearing that day).

For 2010, Gwen has a new challenge going on and I’m going to dive in. It is called #Reverb10 and I truly believe this is an exercise everyone should do at the end of a year, before we head into the next. It framed my year really well last December/January and has carried me through the year.

I’m excited this year, because Gwen is not the only one writing prompts for the #reverb10 challenge. Many, many more of my favorite writers/bloggers are joining in too.

So….here we go. I’ll keep updating this post as I add posts for each day. Let me know if you’re joining in the fun, so I can follow your posts too.

—————————-

December 1 – One Word

December 2 – Writing

December 3 – Moment

December 4 – Wonder

December 5 – Let Go

Potluck at my place for The Earthbound Cook. Photo by Jane Maynard, This Week for Dinner.

I have been doing a lot of work in the kitchen lately. And by work I don’t mean putting on gray trousers and heading to My Cube – although that is a new thing in my life lately. Last week I headed back to an Office – not Starbucks or my dining room table or my car – to work as part-time corporate counsel for a tech company. It isn’t new work for me, per se, as I’ve been doing outsourced general counsel work for companies in my solo law practice for almost 7 years now. But physically going into an office on a regular basis, having a corporate email account (and an IT guy!), an ID card, a nameplate, a printer in a room full of printers…it is so strangely familiar. It is odd. I feel a bit giddy about it, I suppose. Though I have loved being an entreprenuer, I need a little less drama in my life (and a little more paycheck too, I have to admit!). I feel at home, even though…I’m not.

AT home, the work I have been doing in my kitchen has been evolving. I used to hate cooking and now I love it, love it. Cookbooks? I never used them. Now I am devouring them. Even making my own (meaning I rip pages out of magazines or print them out from recipe sites and put them in a binder…very low tech and lame, but hey its convenient when meal planning).

The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman

Last week, I was thrilled to host the first (of many, I hope!) Cookbook Club, a coming together of my book club at From Left to Write and a new cooking club of my friend Jane’s, who writes the awesome blog This Week for Dinner (yes, her recipes are definitely in my binder! Pesto tortellini soup for example…love). About 30 women packed themselves into my (tiny) Silicon Valley house and potlucked, each bringing a dish made from the cookbook The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman, co-founder of Earthbound Farms (located in nearby Carmel – a gorgeous spot). I made the Tri-Color Potato Salad – it is so good that I think I might bring it to Thanksgiving dinner next week.I know, potato salad feels like a summer dish, but with all of the green beans, it screams turkey day to me.

Tri Color Potato Salad from "The Earthbound Cook" by Myra Goodman

Wow, these women brought it! Such amazing food and company. I have to say that The Earthbound Cook is truly a wealth of great recipes. Not only that, but author Myra Goodman also spent time informing her readers about cooking with the earth in mind. It is not just about buying organic, but about conservation – what does it really mean to compost, to use cloth napkins (we did at the potluck and I’m inspired to switch at home too), to enjoy your food, to feel a connection to the earth in your kitchen.

Silicon Valley potluck for The Earthbound Cook. Photo by Linda De Los Reyes, Solheim Photography

Coming off of the fall cleanse through Yogahealer that I did a few weeks ago, recipes like the ones from The Earthbound Cook are helping me stay on track with living foods. I definitely don’t eat 100% nutritious, healthy, organic food, but I am a lot closer than I was a year ago. And sharing the connection with friends makes it that much sweeter.

Until the next cookbook club…

Disclosure: I received a free copy of The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman for the From Left to Write Book Club, a virtual blogging book club that I founded last June and which now has over 100 amazing bloggers participating. I was not obligated to write about the book and all opinions are my own.

If you are interested in joining the virtual book club site From Left to Write, please contact me. From Left to Write holds regular book clubs, writing not book reviews, but our own stories that are inspired by the books we read.

Fast forward four months later to February of 2001….I was in a car accident on Valentine’s Day. The seat belt caught me hard and I suspected some cracked ribs and whiplash. The next day I was checked out at the doctor’s office, but came out not with a neck brace, but with a cancer diagnosis. A routine xray had revealed tumors filling my chest – Hodgkin’s Lymphoma was suspected, but it would take 3 weeks of anxious testing (“staging”) to confirm the diagnosis.

Discussions about freezing eggs (there wasn’t time, my oncologist at Stanford recommended starting chemo right away before it spread to my abdomen and pelvis), worrying about “what if,” long talks with survivors who had advice and insight, days and then weeks in which all of my normal worry items fell off the list…I was a 28-year-old newleywed who had just ran a marathon. I should be healthy and thinking about starting a family.

A course of 3 months of weekly chemo (nitrogen mustard was included and was scarily brought to my recliner in the infusion center at Stanford by my favorite nurse…but she was wearing a has-mat suit – this was put right into my veins) and then 5 weeks of daily radiation. I was in remission and happy to be alive and well.

It was no picnic, but honestly it wasn’t terrible. I was never hospitalized for infection or dangerous levels of low white blood cells, I threw up exactly once, my veins held up pretty well, although I did get a PICC line towards the end of chemo. I did okay. I was positive and I KNEW I WOULD BEAT THIS. And I did.

During discussions of treatment options, we talked a lot about minimizing long term side effects. Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is a fairly easy cancer to beat (it was about a 97% survival rate when I was treated almost 10 years ago and it might even be higher now). The trouble is….the chemo and radiation that cures us also exposes us to a higher risk of other cancers later. 10 – 20 years later, survivors are worried about developing breast or lung cancer, heart and lung disease. I had radiation directly to my chest. I had chemo that is linked directly to breast and lung cancers.

Now that I am approaching the 10 year mark, I am happy, but I am more worried that I was when I was 5 years out, 2 years out. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. And WHEN it does (maybe not even if…), I want to be ready. I want there to be a cure. I want to be there for my three young kids who I fought so hard to even have.

On this last day of October – breast cancer awareness month – and on Halloween, I dare you to do something really scary. DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING to support cancer research today. I don’t care what it is – a Facebook meme, buying something pink, joining Army of Women, deciding to train for a marathon with Team in Training. You choose what works for you, but please do something. It all makes a difference. To me and to so many others in this world who are surviving and are counting on a cure.

This post is a part of the Yahoo! Motherboard (of which I am a proud part) October topic on breast cancer and politics. Read more posts here and join us all in making a difference.

I first learned about the site We Give Books from my friend Minky Moo last summer and have just now gotten around to checking it out. I don’t know what took me so long, but this time I was lured in by Halloween books – Goodnight Goon, so fun!

We Give Books is about reading a book and giving a book to a child in need. Every time you read a book on the site, a book is donated to a kid in need. I thought that my virtual blogging book club, From Left to Write, would be a perfect fit for these efforts.

If you read to your kids (or grandkids or kids that you babysit), consider joining the From Left to Write group on We Give Books – you don’t have to be a book club member of From Left to Write to join the group and it’s free. See you between the pages.