Forget the “his” and “hers.” Sweden has introduced a new, gender-neutral pronoun: “hen.”

The word was added to the online version of the country’s National Encyclopedia days after International Women’s Day. It was sparked by the publication of Sweden’s first ever gender-neutral children’s book, “Kivi och Monsterhund” (Kivi and Monsterdog). The child, “Kivi,” whose gender is non-specified, wants a dog for “hen’s” birthday.

Toward a Gender Neutral Society

Newspaper columnists, TV announcers, feminist bloggers, and Swedish gender-neutral educators could not be more pleased. The Nordic country has always advocated gender equality. It has the highest proportion of working women in the world, and females earn about two-thirds of all college degrees. But now, activists want to push the matter to its natural and logical conclusion. They want to abolish gender altogether, and construct a utopian, gender neutral society.  They’re intent on raising up a new generation of children who’ve been freed from the limitations of stereotyped gender roles.

Breaking down gender distinction is a core mission in the national curriculum for Sweden’s preschools. Many have hired “gender pedagogues” (gender police) to help staff identify language and behaviors that risk reinforcing stereotypes. At the taxpayer-funded Egalia preschool in Stockholm, staff avoid using words such as “him” or “her” and address the children as “friends” or “hens” rather than girls and boys.

In these gender-neutral schools, language is regulated, certain forms of play are taboo, and children’s interactions and attitudes are closely monitored by teachers. One Swedish school got rid of its toy cars because boys “gender-coded” them and preferred them over other toys. Another preschool removed “free playtime” from its schedule because, as a pedagogue at the school maintained, “when children play freely, stereotypical gender patterns are born and cemented.” In order to keep things gender neutral, every detail of the children’s interactions are micromanaged by politically correct adults, from how they form friendships, to what games they play and what songs they sing.

Does Language Matter?

Swedes figure that the introduction of a gender-neutral pronoun will help matters along. After all, how can you raise a child in an environment free of gender distinction when the very language you speak distinguishes boys from girls?

They have a point. Language does make a difference. Obliterating gender-distinct pronouns will undoubtedly help obliterate gender distinctions.  If you blur the words, you blur the meaning.

For instance, if proponents of gender-inclusive Bible translations were to follow their lead, a few years from now we might crack open the first few pages of Genesis to read this politically-correct, gender-neutralized translation of the text:

“So God created hens in Hen own image, in the image of God Hen created hen; hen and hen Hen created them. . . and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the hen, Hen made into a hen, and brought hen to the hen. . . therefore a hen shall leave hen’s parental hens and hold fast to hen’s hen.”

I’m only half kidding. If they have the audacity to change the language to make it more inclusive, the next logical step is to change it to make it more gender neutral.

The language does matter. “God created us in HIS own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” We were created to display His glory. Male and female. He and she. His and hers . . . not hens. The pronouns matter. Gender matters.

Hard to See

Someday, the English language may change. As in Sweden, the politically-correct gender pundits may force it on us. But I, for one, will resist the change. For in stripping our language and lives of gender distinction, we lose the depth and color of the image God has given us to display His glory. We turn off the lights, so to speak. All the rich, vibrant colors and textures fade into dull, monolithic grey. And it becomes hard to see.

And that, no doubt, is Satan’s plan.

When we lose the image, we lose our selves. God did not create gender-neutral beings. God did not speak in gender-neutral language. Therefore, stripping a language of its gender distinctions, and teaching children that they shouldn’t think of themselves as him and her, but as hens, ought to offend our sensibilities and ruffle our collective feathers.

It’s just a horribly bad idea.

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What do you think? How do you think a gender neutral environment might impact kindergarten children? Do you think it’s possible to over-ride who God created us to be? Do you think a gender neutral society is better than a society that upholds gender distinctions? What sort of consequences might result from a gender neutralizing social experiment?

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This post was written by Heather Patenaude. 

In 2008, when I attended my first True Woman Conference, I had no idea how God would use that weekend to set me on a new path in my walk with Christ. It was the day after my 34th birthday, and Mary Kassian’s message rocked my thinking. I was a feminist! The culture had infiltrated my mind way more than I cared to admit. God had some foundational repair work to do.

At the end of the weekend, I was more than thrilled to sign the True Woman Manifesto, and with gusto, I took this message back to my church and girlfriends. But I found out that most of my friends weren’t interested. I felt like I was hitting brick walls and eventually just got frustrated with even trying to talk about biblical womanhood. (Insert Heather not following the Holy Spirit here!)

By the time True Woman ’10 rolled around, I was beyond excited, longing for deep fellowship with other sisters. And that’s just what I got. I didn’t know it at the time, but God also had plans to peel back another layer and dig even deeper into my heart and attitude.

It started when Nancy Leigh DeMoss shared that she had just come from her cousin’s funeral, where the line to visit the family was hours long. She explained that her cousin didn’t have a big platform, but simply lived out biblical womanhood with her husband and sons. That impacted me greatly!

Then Holly Elliff said that we’re busy doing things, but are we busy doing the things God has called us to do? Those were two of the most impactful moments for me at True Woman ’10.

I came away from the conference knowing just what God wanted me to do:just do it. Just live out biblical womanhood with my husband and sons. Be a true woman in my home for an audience of One, the One who really matters.

A couple weeks later, I was listening to a podcast with Mary Kassian talking to Bob Lepine about The Art of Marriage. After looking over the website, praying about it, and talking to our pastors, my husband and I decided to host an Art of Marriage conference. That stirred in us a desire to do more marriage ministry.

Now, a year later, we have a newlywed ministry at our church and are pouring into the lives of five newlywed couples. These couples are watching our life, marriage, and family—watching us live out biblical manhood and womanhood.

I smile as I think how God had to rearrange my heart, attitude, and ideas. He was so tender and gracious with me. His patience is priceless!

This is why I am beyond excited to talk about True Woman ’12. If you want God to pick you up, put you on a new path, and do a new work in your heart, then plan on joining me in Indianapolis in September for True Woman ’12! I can’t wait to see what God has for me (and you!) next.

How about you? Did God rock your thinking at a True Woman Conference? I’d love to hear about it!

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This week marks the first anniversary of SlutWalk.

The first SlutWalk demonstration took place in Toronto, Canada, on April 3, 2011. The rally was held in response to a Toronto police officer’s statement that young women could help safeguard themselves against rape by dressing more modestly.

Feminist activist, Sonya Barnett, was incensed at his remark. She bristled at the implication that provocatively dressed women were in any way responsible for their own victimization and abuse. Barnett argued that girls should have the right to dress slutty without fear of sexual assault. Suggesting otherwise, places the blame on the female victim, and excuses the behavior of the male perpetrator.

Barnett organized a protest march to the Toronto Police Station, which she dubbed “SlutWalk.” Through it, she hoped to raise society’s collective consciousness, and to encourage girls to:

• “reclaim” the word “slut” and other such negative male-defined labels,
• exert their right to reject male-defined, patriarchal norms of female dress and behavior, and
• protest a culture that puts blame on the victims of sexual assault.

Proud to be a Slut?

Over the past year, more than 50 SlutWalks have taken place in the US, Canada, and around the world, including Australia and Britain. The events are similar to “Take Back the Night” rallies. But they differ, because addressing sexual violence is only one of their aims. SlutWalk also wants to aggressively redefine notions about woman’s sexuality.

To that end, SlutWalkers sport T-shirts and signs with slogans like, “Sluts pay Taxes,” or “I’m Proud to be a Slut.” Many protesters dress provocatively, in skimpy leather thongs, bras, skank-boots, and fishnet stockings, paint the word “slut” on their bare skin, or skate around on inline skates in lingerie. Their male supporters wear shirts that read, “I Love Sluts!” The message is that it’s misogynistic when men categorize women as sluts, but it’s empowering when women define themselves as such. Women have the right to be as slutty as they want to be.

Sexual violence is a problem that ought to concern us all. However, I fear that SlutWalks do little to improve woman’s lot. In fact, they arguably exacerbate the very problem they say they’re trying to solve.

Why SlutWalk Ideology is Bad for Women

SlutWalk ideology is bad for women. Here are five reasons why:

1. It absolves girls of risk-management responsibility:

Telling a girl to be careful about the way she dresses, where she goes, and how she behaves is about risk management, not victim blaming. Risk management is an important consideration in many areas of life. For instance, earlier this week a local hockey player left his car unlocked and key in the ignition when he jumped on the team bus for an out-of-town game. He’s lucky his car wasn’t stolen.

Had it been, his dad, a police officer, would have still brought the full force of the law to bear on the thief. The “invite” of an open car doesn’t reduce or minimize a thief’s culpability. But that doesn’t mean that leaving your car unlocked is smart. It’s not good risk management.

SlutWalk ideology puts the entire onus for sexual conduct on the guys. It teaches girls that they don’t need to manage risk. It encourages foolish behavior.  It implies that a girl can dress provocatively, go to a guy’s apartment, get drunk, get naked, pole dance, come on to him, and then accuse him of rape when he doesn’t stop at the last minute. C’mon girls. Use your brains. Yes, he may be culpable of rape, but you sure didn’t do yourself any favors by throwing your car doors open. If you’re wise, you’ll put up boundaries to safeguard yourself against the risk of unwanted sexual attention and not put yourself in risky situations.

Don’t misunderstand me. Women who are sexually abused are NOT at fault. A crime is a crime. But there are sometimes things that girls can do to lesson their vulnerability.

2. It equates sex with power:

SlutWalk buys into Third Wave feminist ideology that sex is power. It preaches that sex is ultimately the way a girl exerts and expresses her freedom and equality. It intimates that slutty women are powerful women. If a girl wants more power, then she’ll throw off male-defined Judeo-Christian notions about sex. Sadly, I see the carnage of this attitude in multitudes of today’s young women -even those who are Christians. Power is not the right to do what you want, nor to act in a sensual, promiscuous, immoral way. True power is “the might to do what’s right”—It’s the backbone and strength to walk in the way of the Lord.

 3. It teaches girls it’s cool to be crass

I gotta admit I had a hard time writing this post. Though the post called for it, I don’t like using the word “slut.” I think it’s crass, crude, and inappropriate.  Since when is being ill-mannered and potty-mouthed a mark of personal empowerment? SlutWalk would have us believe it is. A Huffington Post writer sarcastically entitled her response to the movement: “Dear Feminists, Will You Also Be Marching in N***erWalk? Because I Won’t.”  It’s NOT cool to be crass. It does nothing to elevate women or womanhood.

4. It casts men as oppressors

If you get the diagnosis wrong, you’ll get the treatment wrong.

SlutWalk blames the problem of sexual abuse on patriarchy. It buys into the feminist mindset that throughout history men have been on a misogynistic power trip, and part of a massive subversive patriarchal plot to oppress women. Men are bad. Women are good. Get rid of male privilege and you’ll get rid of the problem.

Well guess what?  Women can be bad too. Female to male domestic violence is statistically just as prevalent as male to female. And the feminist argument that women act this way because of the patriarchal system is simply not true.

Yes, due to the mechanics of male-female plumbing, women are raped more than men. Rape is a horrible wrong. But at its core, the problem isn’t maleness or men. It’s sin. Some men are oppressors.  But many are decent, honorable guys who’ll throw themselves on a sword to protect the ones they love. It’s high time we stopped swallowing the lie that the male sex is responsible for all the world’s ills.

5.  It encourages sexual permissiveness

SlutWalk wants girls to stop feeling shame. A girl should be able to act trashy without feeling trashy about the way she acts. A Slutwalk Organizer explains:

“The event is in protest of a culture that we think is too permissive when it comes to rape and sexual assault,” said Siobhan Connors, 20, of Lynn, Massachusetts, another Boston organizer. “It’s to bring awareness to the shame and degradation women still face for expressing their sexuality … essentially for behaving in a healthy and sexual way.”

Okay, let me get this straight. SlutWalk thinks that we live in a culture that’s too permissive with regards to men forcing women to have sex. But it also thinks that it’s healthy for women to be sexually permissive. Whoa. Now there’s some fancy mental gymnastics! How–pray tell–does the idea that it’s healthy for women to sleep around outside of marrige detract guys from pressuring, coercing, or forcing them to do so? Surely, if it’s healthy for girls to sleep around, then it logically follows that it’s healthy for guys to expect girls to engage in that type of behavior. It fosters the mentality, “Of course you want it! All girls want it!  It’s good for you!”

Sexual violence is a horrific sin. But SlutWalk isn’t helping matters any. Sadly, I think it’s just shooting women in the foot. It’s creating a mindset and culture that exacerbates the very problem it says it wants to solve.

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Take the T-shirt a friend of mine spotted for sale in Target, for example. In large, garish print designed to splash across a girl’s developing breasts the T-shirt proclaims, “Who needs boys, I can WIN by myself!”

Just think about it for a moment. On the surface, the slogan seems to encourage a girl to develop a healthy self-respect and avoid getting enmeshed in dependent relationships.  But there’s an underlying message here. The slogan insinuates that men are inferior, and that they are expendable. It fosters an unhealthy, independent, a-woman-needs-a-man-like-a-fish-needs-a-bicycle, type of attitude.

Honestly, what would you think would happen if Target started selling a boy’s shirt that spouted: “Who needs GIRLS, I can WIN by myself”? Can you imagine the outrage?

Power and Independence

Today’s young woman is taught to value personal power and independence. She can WIN! She doesn’t need men. Indeed, in order to truly win, she must do so without them. Men are the bad guys. They’re the ones who stand in the way of a woman reaching her full potential. They’re the optional and disposable piece in a woman’s life. Independence is the highly prized and sought after trait that will guarantee her success. So she approaches relationships with the resolve to retain her autonomy at all costs.

Even in Christian circles, we cultivate an attitude of independence in our girls. The underlying message is that women need to be independent because men are untrustworthy, and will almost certainly let them down.

But can a woman truly “win” in a world without men? Is she better off without ties to a godly father, uncle, cousin, husband, or brother? Will she succeed when she fiercely exerts her autonomy and regards and treats men as non-essential? Will this attitude actually enhance her relationships and her life?

I think not.

Independence versus Interdependence

God created the two sexes to be interdependent—not dependent, codependent, or independent. This is the case in marriage, and is also the case in the general way the sexes interact with one another. Scripture actually cautions us against adopting an independent attitude:

“In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, and man is not independent of woman. For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman and all things come from God.” (1 Corinthians 11:11-12)

God did not create male and female to operate independently. In this game called life, we’re players on the same team. We’re “heirs together of the grace of life.”

You will do your daughter a disservice if you teach her to be fiercely independent. It’s not a biblical perspective, and it’s not good for her.  Yes, you should teach her to guard against unhealthy relationships, and not to look to men for her source of identity.  But at the same time, you should be careful to teach her to respect men, to encourage and speak well of them, and to value and welcome the contribution that they can make to her life.

I understand that there are some scum-bags out there. I understand that your daughter may never get married. Or that her spouse might ditch her. Scripture provides an answer to these potential situations.  It teaches that God has a special spot in His heart for women who don’t have dads or husbands. It promises that in such situations, He will be their father or husband.

We Need Each Other

Women need men. Even those who will never have a boyfriend or husband need men. Do not buy into culture’s idea that men are unnecessary. Do not teach your daughter to be independent of men. Do not teach her to devalue men and write them off as inconsequential to her life.  We need men. We need them to be the fathers, brothers, husbands, protectors, providers, and heroes God created them to be. Being interdependent and having healthy relationships with males enriches a woman’s life. To truly “win”, women and men need to function interdependently.

It may be true that a fish doesn’t need a bicycle. But it doesn’t follow that women don’t need men.  Gloria Steinem clearly got it wrong. After all, women aren’t fish, and men aren’t bicycles.

What do you think?

How does an attitude of independence negatively impact male-female relationships?  Why do you think women fear losing their independence? How can women avoid becoming dependent, co-dependent, and independent, and foster a healthy interdependence instead?

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Meet Sharon Beougher, a high school Bible teacher at Christian Academy of Louisville. Sharon has a passion to help the girls in her school make wise decisions about how to live. She knows that some of the biggest “influencers” on young people are their teachers. So she intentionally uses the opportunity God has given her to make an impact in their lives. I asked Sharon to share how “Girls Gone Wise” helps her do this:

Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian has been a perfect book to do with high school girls at school.  The sessions are short enough to cover one or two points of contrast between the wise woman and the wild woman; each session include biblical truths pulled out of Proverbs 7, and they give practical ways to become a wise women.

As a teacher at school, I have found two different ways to use the material.  First, I invited the girls who had study hall to come to my room during my planning period on Fridays to study the book. Sometimes we would do just one session and some weeks we did two.  We discussed the highlights of the chapter, answered some of the questions on the worksheet (printed from their resources on-line) and I followed some very helpful suggestions from the leader’s guide on-line.

It was extremely helpful to have the leader’s guide and the worksheets for each young lady (which has just recently conveniently been put into a companion book).  The girls had the questions to think about and it made the discussion easy to keep going.

At the end of the study, I printed off the leader’s guide for the girls so that they could start a Bible study themselves with other girls (high school OR middle school).  These studies were planned to be a half hour before school.  I found this to be an easy way to not only to teach the girls about living a godly life, but to teach them to teach others!

The way I am using it this year at school is to have a Friday lunch Bible study where the girls come into my room with their lunches, and we cover just one chapter each week.  Doing it this way gives all the girls a chance to participate if they choose.  The girls who went through it last year will be facilitators of the lunch group and will help teach.  They can all register on the Girls Gone Wise blog and see video clips and other articles to add to their learning. This semester we have 30 freshman/sophomore girls going through it with the biology teacher and over 15 juniors and seniors (led by two of the girls that went through it last year)

My vision for the material is to introduce starting a new semester class splitting up the guys and girls and using it as part of an actual curriculum for a semester “girls only” class during their high school years.  I teach at one of the largest Christian school systems in the United States so I know that I have the freedom to teach Christian values to teenagers, but if a teacher at a public school wanted to meet with some girls outside of school at a coffee shop or a home, this is definitely a perfect book to use!

Sharon wants to challenge other teachers to intentionally reach out to young women. She says, “Let’s take the baton and disciple these young ladies that the Lord has entrusted to us for a short amount of time!”

We agree, and we salute you, Sharon, for loving these young women, and for exemplifying for them what it means to walk wisely in a world gone wild. Congratulations for being our Wise Thing of the month!

Do you have a Girls Gone Wise story to share?  Email us: office @ girlsgonewise dot com.

The Christian Academy School System serves almost 3,000 students in Preschool – 12th grade on four campuses in the Louisville and Southern Indiana area.  Christian Academy offers an excellent, well-balanced education to students that supports their efforts to reach their God-given potential in academics, athletics, missions, fine arts, and extracurricular activities. We intend for our students to know Jesus as their personal Savior, to know that God has a plan for their lives, and to be noticeably different because they think from a Biblical worldview.

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