In that moment of feeling legitimized I caught myself thinking wow how sad. You’re the same person you were before the agent wanted to sign you, the book is the same, and yet somehow now you’re a “real” writer. Hmmm that’s some screwy thinking.

The thing is the book didn’t sell and I have no idea whether or not I still have an agent. None of that matters. I’ve figured out what makes someone a “legitimate, real, yes you can call yourself one” writer. Drum roll please. . .you’re a writer if you write. That’s it. I’m going to leave out any discussion of whether the writing itself is good or bad since all writers are constantly learning and hopefully perfecting their craft.

In my book, if you write, you’re a writer.

That’s why, right now, I’m not a writer. I’m kind of a writer-in-waiting. There’s been some major changes going on in my life. I’m in the middle of trying to sell our house and move to Portland, OR. That in itself takes up a lot of time. Then comes the little issue of being completely devastated when my book didn’t sell. That threw me for a big, long, in the bell jar, ugly loop. It also made me realize I needed another day job to support things while I try to break into writing.

In truth my whole attitude about writing has changed. For awhile there I wasn’t sure if I was even going to continue with it. Lately though I’ve started writing things in my head while I’m on the treadmill or in the shower. Thoughts about the two books I started have begun to slip into my mind. And finally I’ve come back to this blog and am writing a post again.

I think somehow I needed to hit the reset button and reboot. It’s taken me longer than I would have liked but writing is teaching me patience.

So to all your writers out there–keep writing, write well, have fun with it.

Photo Credit: byrdiegyrl

Yet I find myself torn about this issue when it comes to fiction writers. There are those writers who flat out will not explicitly discuss politics or religion. They’ve made a conscious decision not to do so. Some writers take this stance because they fear the affect their personal opinions may have on the sales of their books. Others simply believe that it’s best to separate their personal opinions from their professional life. On the other side are the authors who let it all hang out. They are outspoken about their beliefs—-not belligerent or arrogant—-just vocal.

I’ve watched both types of authors in action. Do I think a writer’s personal politics should affect whether or not you read their books–absolutely not. If an author writes your favorite thrillers or romances what differences does it make who they vote for, right?

Well, here’s the truth for me—-it actually does. I don’t want it to but it does. There’s an author I like a lot but his/her politics are very different than mine. Every time this author comments on their blog or Facebook about politics I cringe. I literally cringe and think, “Oh, I don’t want to know this about you. Please stop.” This may not be an enlightened response but it’s truly my honest response.

Will it affect whether or not I buy his/her books–probably not but I’m not sure. Unfortunately, then I get into the whole do I want to support someone who holds those political beliefs argument with myself. Believe me, I don’t want to go there when it comes to reading fiction. Publishing is a hard business and I want to support the writers I like to read.

I think it’s important as writers to decide which approach you want to take and stick with it. A reader may never tell you that they cringed over what you said on Facebook about politics. Still, I think authors have to acknowledge that all their written words have an affect on others.

I’m not saying either pathway is better than the other. Ultimately each writer must choose the right path for themselves when it comes to handling religion and politics. I respect whichever choice a writer makes. I suspect that the authors who are outspoken about their beliefs know they run the risk of alienating some readers and have accepted that fact.

What do you think? Are you affected by an author’s politics even if they write fiction? I’d like to hear about your take on this subject.

Photo Credit: ktylerconk

This week I finished Book B. It has gotten some nice online buzz. The plot was sound, the characters stayed true to the world the author created, and I couldn’t have cared less. I just wanted it to be over. I knew exactly where the book was going and I didn’t care.

I enjoyed reading Book A much more than Book B.

In the course of the original discussion on twitter we talked about analyzing a book versus turning off that part of your brain off and just reading. Yes, if I need to I can certainly analyze a book–the plot, pace, chracterization etc. However, I am the kind of reader that just wants to be entertained. Like that old commercial, “Calgon take me away.” I  want to be whisked away into another world.

In comparing both books I became alarmed that I’m some kind of slovenly reader who doesn’t care how well a book is plotted or written. I just don’t think that’s true. There are other things involved in how we preceive a book including the author’s voice. Reading is a highly personal activity. We bring to it all our own experiences. So, I might just relate to Book A’s characters more than Book B. Maybe I prefer one author’s voice over the other. Perhaps, it was just the mood I was in.

All I know is that it’s damn difficult to pinpoint exactly what makes me like one book over another.  Ultimately, I think it’s like friends and lovers–there’s a natural chemistry that comes into play. The truth is it doesn’t matter. What’s most important to me is the reading itself becuase I love to read. That plus great discussions with other readers!

Have you ever liked a book that all your fellow readers dissed? I’d love to hear about it!

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we affect other people. As humans it’s nearly impossible for us not to see things through own filter of reality. I think most people want to feel “right” or “justified” in how they act or react–that’s pretty normal.

I’ve been looking at the idea of how our actions create who we are in other people’s minds. To a certain degree our actions are our legacy. The question is what kind of legacy do you want to leave people with? Here’s some of what I think is important:

• Kindness—-Of course you can be kind and helpful as a strategy to get something you want. However, isn’t it better just to be kind to people because they appreciate it and it’s how you want to be treated as well?
• Give ‘Em A Break—-You don’t always know the stress or hardship someone is facing. So maybe someone is rude or or short with you. How about giving them a break a time or two and then see what happens.
• Loyalty––It’s easy to be a loyal friend when things are smooth and easy. Can you be loyal when the rough winds are blowing? I think loyalty is so important.
• You Can Do It—-It’s so much more pleaseant to be around people with a positive attitude. Life throws us enough detours and closed roads that we don’t need negativity coming from our friends.
• Boundaries—-Knowing your boundaries and adjusting them as needed helps those around you find their boundaries too. Sometimes saying no is the greatest gift you can give yourself and others.
• Forgiveness/Compassion—-For ourselves and others. No one’s perfect. Our feelings and sensibilites get hurt. Forgiving ourselves and others so we can move forward is a big one.
• Interest in Others—-Life can’t just be about us. It’s so much more fun to take an interest in other people, what’s going on in their lives and what they’re doing.

So do I always embody these attributes that I think are important—-nah definitely not. Still, I can continue to strive for them. I do believe that we’re all doing the best we can given who we are in the moment. The miraculous thing is that in every moment we can learn, change, and expand who we are.

The legacy I want to leave behind is one of kindness, enthusiasm, fun and imperfection. I know I’ve go the imperfection part down already!

What about you? What kind of legacy do you want to create for the people in your life?

Photo Credit: docentjoyce

The truth is it takes most of us awhile to figure out what we want to do with our lives. Plus, I’ve come to the conclusion that we sometimes don’t discover our talents until we’re ready for them. For instance, I just started to knit last October. Knitting is something  I would never, ever in my wildest dreams have thought I’d do. It’s kind of funny that I felt that way because much to my surprise I’ve got a knack for it. The same goes for writing. I was cool with nonfiction writing but I never thought I’d be able to write fiction. Then one day I tried again for the umpteenth time and something shifted. I was able to do it.

It might sound far-fetched but writing and knitting have me convinced that the old adage—you never know what you can do until you try–is actually very true. So I’m making a concerted effort to try more new things. I think it’s easy to get stuck in what’s known and comfortable. Still, if we never venture outside our comfort zones we may miss out on discovering other hidden talents. 

What about you? Have you tried something new lately? Do you have a hidden talent you only recently discovered?  I’d love to hear about it.

Photo Credit: kretyen

Writing is a difficult profession–especially writing fiction. After working really hard on a book, synopsis, and query letter you may not get an agent. Or you may get an agent but your book doesn’t sell. Perhaps, you get an agent, sell your book but the publisher goes out of business before you get published. Then there’s getting published, doing everything you can to promote your book, and being dropped by your publisher because you didn’t sell well enough. Of course, there are success stories too. However, even the writers we consider “successful”  have dealt with their share of rejection and set-backs.

So, given all the challenges the publishing industry throws at writers, how does one define success? Here are some answers from the comments on my previous post:

Libby Hellman: “But what it comes down to — in reality — is an email or a call or a note from a reader telling me how much they liked my book and couldn’t put it down.”

JT Ellison: “Honestly? So long as I’m happy with myself, working daily, meeting my deadlines, following up on my responsibilities, I feel successful. If you try to gauge by other measures, you can get into trouble. Every time you compare to another author’s success, it’s apples and oranges. And you’ll get 1,000 different answers to this question as well, because every artist defines success in different ways.”

Bill Cameron: “And then I sit down and write some more. That’s the main thing. The biggest success is being able to write at all.”

Each one of those wonderful comments helped me in my own search for an answer. Then I came across this passage from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield:

My friend Tony Keppelman snapped me out of it by asking if I was gonna quit. Hell, no! “Then be happy. You’re where you wanted to be, aren’t you? So you’re taking a few blows. That’s the price for being in the arena and not on the sidelines. “

That “snapped” something inside of me to attention. The question of success comes down to this–do you want to be in the arena or on the sidelines? If you give up then you move to the sidelines. If you stay in the arena, no matter where you’re at, you’re still in the game and anything could happen.

I realized that right now my definition of success is staying in the game. Over time that definition may change. However, this realization settled something important for me on an internal level and it helped me move forward with my writing.

My definition of success as a writer: Stay in the game, don’t move to the sidelines. That means that every day I write I’m in the game and I’m successful.

What about you? What keeps you moving foward?

Photo Credit: dcJohn

It’s fair to say that romance books and I have had an on again/off again relationship. For about a year or two, starting at age eleven, I read every category Harlequin and Barbara Cartland book I could get my hands on. I loved them.

After that I stopped reading romance. I’m not sure why. I know for most of my adult life I was horrified by the thought of romance books. I dismissed them as horribly written, pieces of nonsense and fluff for people who didn’t think very deeply. (Hmmm, stereotype much?)

In college I majored in Sociology with an emphasis on Women’s Studies. For awhile there I was a real militant feminist and romance novels definitely had no place in my life. After all, the very idea of heroes and alpha males was just an example of women propagating the idea that they need to be saved by men. Didn’t romance novels perpetuate the notion that women are nothing without relationships and that one “right” man in their life?

Fast forward a number of years. I’m still a feminist but not so militant these days. My taste in reading turned to mysteries, thrilers and suspense. However, I found myself especially liking the ones which featured a strong relationship/partnership between a man and a woman. I love reading about relationships. Especially when a man and woman work together to solve a crime, save the world, and seem to have time for some hot sex in the middle of it all.

Then one day I stumbled upon Allison Brennan and was shocked to find her books labeled as romantic suspense. I told myself this was just an errant categorization decision by her publisher, that it really wasn’t romance at all. Then I started reading more “wrongly” labled romantic suspense books and loved them.  Slowly, I began to realize that I could no longer deny the fact that I was reading romance books, even if they crossed genres into suspense/thrillers. Quite frankly, I was  a little embarrassed.

Then I began poking around sites like Dear Author and Smart Bitches, Trashy Books and found that a lot of smart, discerning, women read romance books. Like any genre there are horribly written romances and spectacularly good ones. I realized that, not only did I not need to be embarrassed, but that the romance publishing industry was filled with a lot of kick-ass women authors. I still like my cross-genre (suspense/romance) books the best, but I’ve been branching out. I  recently read a wonderful contemporary by Victoria Dahl called Talk Me Down and really liked it.

What’s even better is that Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan of the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books website just published, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels. A reviewer on Dear Author had this to say about the book, “It will convince your readers to shout out loud from the rooftops that they’re romance readers. Or at least to raise a suggestive eyebrow at the sneering bookstore clerk when they buy their books.” So I no longer need to defend my reading habits to myself or anyone else.  I can just refer people to this nifty book.

In the end, I’ve learned that books are like wine and art. It’s all subjective. Choose what you like, enjoy it, embrace it, and don’t let anyone make you feel embarrassed about your choices.Yes, my name is Mary-Frances and I like reading romance.

(Beyond Heaving Bosoms just hit the shelves today.  You can buy it online or at a bookstore near you. )

Photo Credit: Didbygraham

They both had obviously taken the same class at different times. Each one talked about how much they loved the teacher.  I was delighted to hear that this teacher had the students not only writing, but also circling up to tell each other stories about their lives.

“We got real tight in that class,” was one of the comments made about the circle storytelling. Another comment about the teacher was, “She wrote on one of my papers that she loved my writing.” This was said with so much pride and delight that it was amazing.

So here’s what I took away from this overheard teenage conversation:

• Wow, the power of storytelling. This writing teacher planted a seed in these students about how important stories are to our lives.
• This wonderful teacher made her students feel enthusiastic about writing. I doubt they’ll become writers but I really think it sparked an appreciation of  stories and writers, that might last a lifetime.
• Teachers are catalysts and lightening rods. They have an amazing ability to inspire their students.

I wish I could find this teacher and tell her how much of an impact she’s making on her students. I hope somewhere in Western Washington she knows.

So, have you overheard any interesting conversations lately? Do you have a story about a teacher that impacted your life in a positive way? I’d love to hear your stories!

Photo Credit: Garry Knight

This made me wonder is this a ritual or a habit?

One of the definitions of a ritual–any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner.

A definition of habit–an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.

In my case the definitions are really very similar. Seems like something can start off as a ritual and turn into a habit and vice versa. I choose to think of my tea drinking as a ritual.  It sounds so much more deliberate and exotic to me than a habit.

So here’s my simple writing ritual:

• Procrastinate
• Make tea
• Fire up the laptop
• Sit quietly for a few moments listening to the sound of my breath (aka meditation)
• Take a sip of tea
• Start to write

Not very exciting but actually I love my writing ritual, well except for the procrastination part.  Each of these actions helps me create a space  to start writing.

What about you? Do you have habits or rituals that you go through before you start to work?