manic mariah

I'm Alive...

2011-04-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Sort of.I have taken in two teenagers. Siblings, 17 and 15. My son likes the 17y/o and the 15 y/o likes my daughter.I sleep with my eyes open.Their parents? Well, the mom is in Costa Rica, said she'd be gone a week.Its been 8 weeks.Their dad is a drunk.So I took them in......like I always do. Because having 17 teenagers under one roof is what I was destined to do.My neighbors hate me.My plumbing

Sprouts and Mustaches

2011-03-01T17:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not really sure what's going on around here, but it appears that mustaches are 'in' this year. I find them everywhere. My favorite photo of my grandma has a mustache on it. I've seen mustaches on the dog and placed strategically on the bathroom mirror so when I look in the mirror I have a giant hairy mustache on my face. I've been caught driving carpools with a mustache on, and one night we

National Flop, Colorado and making out

2011-02-22T17:25:00.000-08:00

So many kids, so many things to do. With so many kids in so many directions, it’s impossible to do it all, so we did what seemed reasonable and left the soccer child home to fend for herself while the rest of us went to Colorado to watch the youngest compete in the National Rock climbing competition, (which is pretty much a big deal, I guess). The family loaded up and flew out to Colorado, and

It was me, not you

2011-01-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

So I took a blogging break, not by choice but by necessity because:1) There are people that read what I write here and fill in the blanks with their own words and thoughts. They smash my words into scrambled eggs and then use my own words against me. It’s a stupid waste of time if you ask me. 2) My co-workers have snooped around and that’s just weird.3)I have teenagers, hormonal teenagers, and

Good Cheer from the rooftop

2010-12-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays!! Wishing you peace, love and laughter. And a visit from a big old man with a white beard (if that's what you believe in). Mariah and Family

TSA Produces Boners

2010-12-13T02:00:00.000-08:00

I spent 3 hours at the airport during Thanksgiving, and NOT ONCE was I groped... and I was totally wearing my cute panties. Lets look at 1:45(ish)shall we? Does that guy have a stiffy or what? Happy Travels, may you be groped appropriately (or not appropriately if that's what you're looking for).

Some Christmas Truths

2010-12-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven

This just makes my heart all gushy

2010-12-08T14:45:00.001-08:00

If this video doens't touch you in some way you might be broken.I think I've watched it 378 times in a row.

Changing winds and roof dwellers

2010-11-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

We had a rare moment this weekend where all four of my kids were together and not killing each other for almost two days!!We attempted holiday photos. On the roof, naturally.Things quickly got out of hand and before I knew it my youngest was dangling over the side of the roof at the hands of her siblings.Personally this is my favorite and I might just use it.Things are wacky over here at Casa

Lingo and The Rock Star

2010-11-16T16:47:00.000-08:00

My youngest spent the past weekend camping and rock climbing with her team. She’s the youngest on her climbing team and the only girl. I had a hard time letting her go after what happened recently to my oldest daughter ( well that and the fact that I sent my 11 year old daughter camping with a bunch of teenage boys!) (which is something I would have NEVER let the other girls do and YES, I know

Daily Dose of Mundane

2010-11-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

6:30am Alarm.6:45am Second alarm.6:55am Third alarm.7:00am Yell downstairs for the kids to wake up.7:02am Pee.7:05am Turn on the shower.7:06am Go downstairs, get coffee, let the dogs out, and feed the birds.7:08am Threaten the children with itching powder if they don't wake up.7:10am Shower.7:45am Drive the kids to school.8:30am Leave for work.9:00 – 2:00 Work.2:00 – 2:30 grocery store, errands.3

Shhh

2010-10-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

I'm busy decorating my house with gruesome things like zombies and skeleton pirates, you know, because I'm mature and enjoy scaring little kids so they scream and drop their candy. I consider it payment for all my years of decorating. Tonight we're adding audio and visual effects. I apologize in advance to my neighborhood for the screaming, the chains and the endless witches hackle. I also

So called vandalism

2010-10-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

I know! I can't believe my son wore a polka dotted shirt to the beach. What a dork. I can't get over how old they are, it freaks me out a bit and as they get older I am more concerned about posting their pictures on the Internet for any old perve to wank off to. Hence the knitted shirts.Here's the thing, my kids are hooligans. They steal street signs, dance on the school roof and TP like nobody's

Drama

2010-10-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

I thought I was pretty stealthy with my Facebook privacy settings, I guess I was wrong. Lately I have been contacted through Facebook because of Chris’ last name. People are angry about something that I have nothing to do with. I mean really, I’m just a little person who works in a small office, volunteers at the middle school, and secretly wishes I could knit.The constant messages were

Sticker Whore

2010-10-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

I think I'm traumatized from the school lunches my mom failed to make.Actually I might have PTSD.My mom hated making lunches so on Sunday my sister and I would make a whole loaf of sandwiches and freeze them so we could eat them throughout the week.FYI, mayonnaise doesn't freeze well and bologna requires more than a few hours to defrost.I hated lunch time at school, my friends would have nice hot

Love and Hate

2010-10-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

Technology.I love and hate technology. I love it because I can Blog, Twitter, and Facebook. Duh!I love it because I can watch porn keep up with the news with a click of a button.But I think technology is ruining us.All of us.Childhood is ruined by ‘the easy factor’. Kids don’t have to tie their shoes because they have Velcro.Teenagers don’t have to have conversations because they can text.Adults

Unicorns fell unexpectedly from the sky

2010-10-08T11:17:00.000-07:00

If you've been reading this little ole' Blog for awhile you know I've improvised my tub due to the lack of money around here. You'd also know that I rent out our guest house to freaks for a little extra cash.Lately I've been recycling the little toys in Cracker Jack boxes and calling them gifts. I can't remember the last time we bought food without a coupon. I'm not kidding, our budget is

In Da Hood

2010-10-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

During last weeks heat wave we dashed to the beach right after school. We don't have heat or air in this old house, I mean technically we do, but if we turned it on we'd probably all die because the old unit is surrounded by asbestos. So we just suffer when it gets too hot or too cold, which is like three times a year. We're creatures of habit when it comes to the beach, we're always at the same

Time

2010-10-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

We spent Sunday up in Santa Barbara visiting Amanda, it was so nice to see her in her new place. Her roomates are adorable and it was good to have the girls see where she lives now.*This is NOT where she lives, this is a neighbor house**This is a neighbor house too - at least it wasn't all Keystone light - they had some Blue Moon beer too, which happens to be my favorite beer.*I blushed more than

Cancer Can Suck it!

2010-10-04T09:43:00.001-07:00

The following is written by Gucci Mama, it's stories like this that literally save me. My problems are SO TEEEEEEENY TINY! Read this post and if you can please help this family in need.Oh, my Gucci babies, I've been staring at this blank screen for almost an hour trying to figure out where to start. I don't know how to fix this; I can't fix this and I don't know how to deal with something I

Change...

2010-09-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

There are very few quiet moments in my life, between the kids, the dogs, the squatters, and the renters it’s a noisy house. REALLY NOISY! Generally I enjoy the chaos, I thrive in it and when I do get a quiet moment I don’t really know what to do with it, besides scan Craigslist for useless things I don’t need which will end up in the creepy hall closet.Today it is quiet. The dogs are still.

spiraling

2010-09-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

I get angry with the cards I’ve been dealt; and I find happiness is sometimes hard to obtain when I’m drowning in puddles which fell from my eyes. I’m tired, tired of the stigma that comes with mental issues. I’m tired of being depressed and thinking horrid thoughts. I’m cranky one minute and cracking up the next, I confuse myself and everyone around me. I refuse to go back on medication.

Bison Chalk, not caulk and not cock

2010-09-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

Chalk.Chalk. Chalk Chalk chalk.Chalk is my kid’s nightmare, she dreads it. She hates it, she despises it!! She hates when it gets under her fingernails, she hates when it gets under her shirt or in her hair. She. Can. Not. Stand. It.!!!Neither can I.Climbing chalk is expensive and she is constantly losing her chalk bag. And as much as she hates chalk, she is a chalk snob. She’ll only use one

Pushover. Alternate title: Shoot me now, or strangle me, whichever is the least painful

2010-09-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

The Tenant From Hell… AGAIN!My rental unit is fun, when the people that rent it are NORMAL! We’ve had some weird ones but the most recent one takes the cake. I knew she was trouble when I picked her up from the airport where she spent 30 minutes yelling at the people in the baggage claim area accusing them of breaking into her luggage.Way to ignore the giant blinking neon light Mariah.I should

Friendships and Masturbations

2010-09-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

Today I am writing about the importance of being warm when you masturbate and friendships over at The Only Parent Chronicles.Don't be shy, come say hi! And if my post makes you blush and you don't know what to say in the comments, just tell me I'm cute or something. It's simple, just click that link above. :)