Note: This is a post from Joan Otto, Man Vs. Debt community manager. Read more about Joan.

Buy it now. Pay now. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

Sometimes, I feel like the internet is screaming at me like a particularly insistent 2-year-old.

And like most insistent 2-year-olds, sometimes, it feels like the easiest thing to do is to give in to the screaming beast… even if it doesn’t have the best result in the long run.

Yep, I’m talking about online shopping.

Our Instant-Gratification Society

Online shopping seems great. I can have anything in the world sent to my home – no matter how obscure! I don’t even have to pay for shipping, in a ton of cases! The prices are better than they are in retail stores!

These are all true… except there’s a problem.

Our instant-gratification society is taking the “buy it now” hype to an extreme.

We’ve made consuming so easy that we do it without even thinking. You know the stories… people who’ve plunked down hundreds to keep playing their favorite Facebook or mobile games – but have done it 99 cents at a time. People who order 7 pairs of shoes from an online retailer that offers free returns, intending to send back six and keep one but not always following through. People who buy horses and other livestock in online auctions across the country - living things purchased site-unseen.

And again, none of these things are evil, wicked, mean or nasty in and of themselves. But I worry about a culture in which it’s becoming commonplace to drop $700 in a click.

Cash Vs. Debit Vs. Credit

This is actually something we talk about in our You Vs. Debt classes, and it’s one of Baker’s key tips in his list of 24 Quick Actions You Can Do Today That Can Change Your Financial Life Forever:

Spend cash whenever possible.

There are any number of websites that will walk you through the ins and outs of budgeting, of envelope systems, and of the complex psychology of money. But I think we often overlook the simplest reasons this advice is so powerful.

1. Cash is harder to get.

Even a debit card is easy – it’s (generally) in your wallet or purse, on your person. Credit cards tend to be much the same way. To go to the ATM and get cash, even if it’s literally next door, is harder! And, in terms of money, harder to get is a good thing!

2. Cash is harder to part with.

We are a visually driven species. When I see a pile of money, I know that I have X dollars, whatever that may be. When I physically see that money dwindling, I know I have less of it. Big pile of money, little pile of money.

And handing over $700 of my hard-earned cash, in bills, to someone in a store?

YIKES. You can bet that’ll take some thought!

But I could easily drop $700 online for an iPhone… in a click. Almost as an accident. And while I think that I think about my purchases, online or otherwise, the fact is, it is so much easier for me to spend online than it is in person because I don’t have to think very much at all.

Retailers want it this way, of course! They love the idea that you’ll buy now and think later (if ever). Regrets? Well, you could return it. But they’re counting on the fact that most people don’t.

Spending cash takes planning. It takes thought. And thought is a great thing to have where your finances are concerned.

I’m curious what you think: Do you spend differently online than you would in a brick-and-mortar store?

Why do you think so – or why not?

We’d love to hear your comments!

Note: This is a post from Joan Otto, Man Vs. Debt community manager. Read more about Joan.

Isn’t that guy cute? He’s a huge snapping turtle we found crossing the road on our fifth anniversary trip to Erie, PA, in 2010. While his slow-and-steady progress made everyone around go “Aww!” and reach for their cameras, our slow-and-steady debt payoff progress is making me say “Eww!” and making me want to reach for the Advil.

But we are making progress – slow, steady and straightforward – and I’m trying to remember that even slow going (in the right direction) gets you there eventually.

And maybe I’m not alone in needing that reminder…

Our Very Next Steps: Debts

In good news, we hit two of our Very Next Steps against our various debts this month. And we dropped our total debt balance – it’s now $56,779.11 – down $972.98 this month and $32,908.12 from the start.

As I’ve said in pretty much every one of these financial updates, even when we’re not making FAST progress, I’m proud to say we’re making progress.

In fact, as I mentioned, I’ve got two specific successes.

• Hated Bank of America Mastercard: Our goal had been to get this under $17,000, and we succeeded this month, coming in at $16,895.45. Next, we’ll aim for under $16,000!
• Union Plus Mastercard: We had been aiming to get this under $7,500, and now, at $7,480.97, we’ll next shoot for under $7,000. That will take a while – this is not a card we’re paying any extra on, as it’s one of our lowest interest rates and nothing about it particularly motivates us to “go tsunami” on it, but again, it’s slow and steady progress!

Don’t forget that we keep track of all of these debts in summary (complete with V.N.S.) on my “Joan’s Finances” page – so you can see how we’re doing at a glance. Here, I just hit the updates each month.

Our Very Next Steps: Assets

In addition to these next steps against our various debts, we’ve also got some short-term goals in the area of savings.

• We need to get our emergency fund back up first to $1,000, then to $1,700 (one month’s mortgage payment).
• We also need to get a checking-account buffer of about $1,000 to $1,500 as well.

These aren’t “sexy” goals at all, but they’re what keep life’s emergencies from derailing our progress, and what keep us from being able to say we won’t accrue new debt – no matter what!

While the debt V.N.S. goals happen over the course of our regular payments, these savings goals will require a little more conscious effort. We’re still trying to adjust to the change in income that I mentioned last month, so we’re actually working on the checking-account buffer first so that we’re sure the routine expenses are covered.

By the end of June, we plan to start moving extra money into savings. But that’ll give us time to see what truly is “extra” – and what is needed to make ends meet!

Adjusting our targets

We had hoped to be debt-free except for our mortgage as of March 2015 when we started tracking our progress here on Man Vs. Debt. Thanks to some changes in our income, we’ve had to adjust that target, and our newest goal would have us done with consumer debt in April 2016.

That has us paying $2,000 total per month on our debts (minimums plus extras), which at our current income levels is heartily ambitious and maybe not even quite doable – but we’re committed to trying! {As a point of reference, at our highest, we’d been paying $2,500 or more monthly!}

That said, that seems ages away, and as we’ve said before, we truly believe that by hustling, we can cut a significant time off of that. The hard part is deciding just how ambitious to be, so I decided to set a “range” of goals.

• Marathon finisher award medal: Paid off “on time,” or by April 30, 2016
• Bronze medal: Paid off by December 31, 2015 (4 months early, about $7,850 “extra” required, give or take)
• Silver medal: Paid off by August 31, 2015 (8 months early, about $15,450 “extra” required)
• Race-winning, Olympic-qualifying, crazy-awesome gold medal: Paid off by April 30, 2015 (a full year early, about $22,740 “extra” required)

The biggest bummer right now is that we’d hoped to pay off the hated BoA card this year, but instead, we’re looking at having it right around $10,000 at the end of 2013 and finishing it off in October of 2014. To be fair, we’re still happy – that’s great progress – but you know we’ll be looking to hit this one as hard as we can!

I hope I’m not the only one who needs the occasional reminder that slow and steady is OK. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a very “dramatic” story – I’m not paying off $50,000 in a year or anything like that – but I have a plan, I’m working the plan, and I’m getting where I want to go.

And that’s got to be good enough!

How’s your progress? Slow and steady like a marathon, or more of a sprint? Some of both?

Comment and let us know!

Note: This is a post from Joan Otto, Man Vs. Debt community manager. Read more about Joan.

I’m a sentimental-items person. Still have my childhood teddy bear and blanket, love scrapbooks, and so on. But I’m also what I call a mid-range minimalist; I tend not to keep “stuff” unless I truly treasure and value it.

With that in mind, I asked on the Man Vs. Debt Facebook page a week or two ago, in the vein of selling crap that doesn’t enrich your life and keeping stuff that really is awesome:

What’s the oldest item in your home?

I expected a few responses, not more than 100! They were all great – except for the dozens of you who said “me” – smart alecks!

I want to share some of the answers today, and then leave you with some questions about what is and isn’t valuable in your own home.

In our house, we think the oldest item is the newspaper clipping of my mom’s grandfather’s untimely death, which is in a family scrapbook we’re working on.

We had some other close contenders, all of which would be right around the mid- to late 1800s, mostly in other photos and some jewelry (including the wedding ring I wear, which you can see above with my blanket, teddy bear and the aforementioned scrapbook!)

Funnily, I didn’t remember until some other readers posted about old books that we almost certainly have books for our bookstore that are older than any of our personal stuff, but I don’t think of those as “our” belongings!

Watches, furniture, jewelry and more…

OK, I had to laugh, because my friend Dana said her house is the oldest thing “in her house” – it was built in 1786! She also said she’s got some cool antiques, including a metal toy car from the 1870s.

You Vs. Debt alumna Stevie noted that in her home, “It’s the piano. Upright grand bought by (my husband’s) grandmother in early 1920′s and she taught all of her numerous grandkids on it.”

And fellow money blogger Agatha K. of Hey Agatha went the other direction entirely – her “oldest” item is a broken Donald Duck gold wristwatch from 1985!

Some of the other stories:

• Jim: An old hope chest, no idea how old. The next time we downsize, whatever won’t fit inside will be sold, donated or tossed!
• Elizabeth: A book of Roman law from the 1500s!
• Laura: A jewelry box that my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather made.
• Tina: My husband. Kidding! A French pewter plate from the Napoleon 14th era.
• Lara: My great grandmother’s gliding chair. Probably from the late 1800′s.
• Jackie: A collapsible Persian table from my grandparents’ life in Tehran many many years ago. I take it everywhere I move. Though I’ve sold everything else, it’s the one thing I can’t part with.
• Dusty: A beautiful dresser from 1890′s. It belonged to my great grandmother. It’s priceless to me.
• Whitney: Antique spoons, antique dollar bill from my great granddad and an antique red box.
• Emily: A photo of my great-grandparents. Taken in 1935.
• Glenn: An old badly worn Pinocchio bank.
• Jeanie: My husband’s wedding ring was my grandfather’s. Although…wait. I was gifted a crystal tea set from his parents at my wedding + their pictures and story. So..from 1920.
• Kimmie: A weird, hand-carved wooden chair with the face of a greenman on the backrest and lion’s heads that belonged to my great-great grandparents.
• Anne: A secretary desk, built in the 1880. It is a small one, with tiny spindle legs that I worry will get broken by the kids, so I keep it in my room! It is a nice edition! I <3 it!
• Colby: My stepmom has a newspaper from the day after Lincoln was assassinated… it got passed down from her grandfather!
• Laura: A chair that was my 60+ year old friend’s grandmothers. I love curling up and reading a good book in it.
• Donna: A three tiered little wooden box, filled with buttons. It belonged to my grandmother who passed 9 years ago, aged 91. I remember playing with the buttons as a child & this is what I chose as my inheritance. My own children now play with these buttons!
• Angelia: A cathedral window quilt my great great aunt and great grandmother made back in the early 60′s
• Scott: The dresser my grandpa bought my mom when she was a little girl. They don’t make them like this these days.
• Jeremy: Journals and sketchbooks from teenage – current.
• Tabatha: My son’s hand print from kindergarten.
• Peggy: I have a few baby blankets left over from my children who are all in their 30′s.

I could share dozens and dozens more, but these were some of my favorite stories.

Some readers shared stories of living an especially minimalist lifestyle, sometimes on the road. Reader Weaselmouth said, “Since we live in the Airstream, I think the oldest thing is my wedding band. All books are now in the Nook, clothing gets worn and replaced fairly often and everything else is new-ish.”

For me, those are some of the neatest stories, since I’ve always lived in the same town and only moved a few times ever!

For almost all of our commenters, though, the oldest-thing question really became exactly what I was trying to get at.

Things that have withstood the test of time tend to be things you feel are worth keeping.

Treasures vs. crap

I know some people who keep old items “because they’re family heirlooms” – except they don’t like them, or use them, or even really know much about them.

They just seem to think they’re supposed to save them, simply because they’re old. To me, those aren’t treasures. That stuff, as valuable or as historic or as “important” as it might be, is just crap if you’re not loving it, using it, remembering because of it.

I’d rather have fewer things that mean a lot. 

My “scrapbook blanket” that you see above is a good example – it started out as a Mickey Mouse sleeping bag my dad gave me for Christmas the year before he died. Since then, I’ve used T-shirts from memorable events to patch it – you can see one of Sarah’s first T-shirts, one of Dad’s Army handkerchiefs, and even a scrap from my husband’s childhood blanket in the photo! Now, instead of keeping a bunch of “stuff” – mostly clothes that can’t be worn anyway – I have one really memorable item.

That’s my challenge to you today. Whether it’s 50 years old or 500 years old, what’s the oldest item in your home? And do you truly treasure it – and your other possessions that have survived the test of time? Or are you hanging on to things just because they’re old, or maybe “valuable” in a money sense, but not because they truly add value to your life?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories in the comments!

Note: This is a post by Courtney Baker, chief seller and long-time running wo-man of MvD.

Ages ago, I set a personal goal to start tracking my spending again and start planning things I wanted to buy. I was struggling to stick to my guns and keep myself accountable.

Frustrated and desperate, I needed a new strategy. I suddenly remembered podcasts.

Podcasts really boosted my momentum to pay off my debt and control my spending. Listening to a 5-10 minute segment on sticking to a grocery budget just before grocery shopping really affected the amount of stuff in my shopping cart.

Getting informed about why I wanted to pay down certain debts first made me want to pay them down even faster.

We make dozens of money decisions throughout they day. Listening to five minutes here and there significantly changed my momentum in paying off my debt. I felt informed, aware, and in control, finally.

Check out this array of podcasts to rev up your momentum. Are you interested into traditional money advice, inspiring bloggers, or behavior change coaches? Dig in.

Personal Finance Bloggers

Man Vs. Debt

The Man Vs. Debt podcast has six episodes to get you started:

• Your Big Why and Defining Freedom
• Goals or No Goals?
• The 6 Phases of Debt Reduction
• Rally Your Friends and Loved Ones
• Regrets of the Dying and Lessons Learned from the Film Tour
• The 6 Keys to a Flexible Life

 Consumerism Commentary

Tom Dziubek invites specialized guests to chat about interesting, every day financial topics. You might hear about buying used cars, managing money, new budgeting software, and our love for buying new things.

Recommended episodes:

• Living Large in Lean Times (buying used cars)
• Shiny Objects

PT Money Podcast

On the Part-Time Money Podcast, Phil Taylor interviews various readers about how they’ve started side businesses. They talk about why they needed to start something part-time, how they found their idea, and when they took the first step.

Recommended Episodes:

• Working as a Starbucks Barista Part-time
• How to Start a Babysitting Service Part-time

Feed the Pig

Feed the pig is a great archive of good financial advice. They invite both listeners and experts to talk about common household money issues like “I know I shouldn’t spend impulsively, but I can’t stop. Help!”

Recommended Episodes:

• Household Budgeting
• Teaching Children About Money

Traditional Financial Advice

The Dave Ramsey Show

Love The Dave Ramsey Radio Show? If you missed it on the air, you can find it here on his podcast stream. The episodes are not archived like most podcasts, instead each episode is replaced with the most current recording of the show.

Dave also offers another podcast called the EntreLeadership which is very powerful for business owners. Several episodes are available at one time.

The Money Answers Show

While Jordan Goodman has comforting conversations about managing students loans, budgeting, investing, and mortgages, he also digs into economic issues, empowerment, and motivation.

Recommended Episodes:

• Laugh Your Way to Success
• A Steady Stream of Income for Life

Money Girl

Money Girl is a very direct and informational resource for all topics finance. It’s especially great for real estate, investing, and types of mortgages. This might be the podcast for you if you have an affection for southern accents!

Recommended Episodes:

• How to Buy a House with Someone Else
• Should You Use Your 401(k) to Pay Off Credit Cards?

Motivation from Elsewhere

Smart Passive Income

Pat Flynn is a great resource for anybody wanting to start or improve their online business. His podcast will expedite your online success. Not only is Pat a great mentor for business, but he’s also just a great person in general. Catch up with this guy if you can!

Recommended Episodes:

• What They Didn’t Tell Me Before I Started My Online Business
• Pay What You Want from Anthony Vennare from Hybrid Athlete

Daring Greatly Read Along

Brene is my new favorite speaker on earth! I’ve attended two of her talks this year in addition to reading her books and looking at her TED talks.

This is a “book discussion” for Daring Greatly, but you can enjoy the episodes without reading the book. She will change the way you think about yourself. It’s time to strip the guilt and start kicking butt on your goals.

Live Your Epic Life Podcast

The introduction says it all, “In a world that pushes you to extremes- more work, less rest, more stuff, less space, more activities, less time, more disease, less health, it’s critical to be intentional about what kind of life you are going to live.”

Recommended Episodes:

• What is Decisive Living?
• Stop Self Sabatoge and Reverse Limiting Beliefs

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones do you recommend to the community?

Share in the comments below.

Note: This is a post from Joan Otto, Man Vs. Debt community manager. Read more about Joan.

So here’s the thing about me: I’m not rich.

You’re shocked? (Er, if so, maybe you should check out the scary details of my finances.)

What this means is, when it comes to books about how to become rich, I’m probably the perfect reader demographic, but maybe not the perfect reviewer demographic.

After all, why would you want to hear what I have to say about someone else’s ideas on wealth? After all, I’m not particularly wealthy, right?

Well, we’ll come back to this in a bit, because it’s the question I’ve been kicking around in my head as I read The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco, which is one of the many books on the collective Man Vs. Debt bookshelf that we’ve read, reviewed and then given away to a reader!

The Millionaire Fastlane

For those of you who aren’t familiar with his work, MJ DeMarco is an entrepeneur, investor, author and, yes, multimillionaire. When I started reading The Millionaire Fastlane, I have to admit I was a bit skeptical of the premise – the idea of some kind of “fastlane” to wealth – but I realized after reading further that MJ’s fastlane isn’t about “get rich” schemes. In fact, he even specifies that there’s a difference between “Get Rich Quick” and “Get Rich Easy.”

The goal of The Millionaire Fastlane is mindset and process. It goes behind the scenes of the “wealth events” of MJ and others – you know, the types of people who invent something and sell millions of them in a month? And the secret is, these aren’t one-time events, not really. Getting rich “quick” is preceded by hours and hours of work. It’s a process. The money might come all at once, but it doesn’t come easy.

And it doesn’t come at all unless you’re in the right mindset. So that’s the point of this book – exploring the mindset that leads to wealth creation, and dispelling some mindsets that discourage it.

In the book, MJ describes three types of people:

• Sidewalkers. These are the people in the debt-slavery mindset. Debt, to a sidewalker, is a way to get something now. It’s almost a supplemental “income.” To the Sidewalkers, “stuff” is more important than just about anything, and having the best of it is paramount – even if it means charging it! The thing that stuck out to me most about this way of life is that it is not income-dependent. Yes, there are poor people living in this lifestyle. But there are also people like I used to be – with high incomes but a terrible financial situation, always spending more than they earn, nothing but “surface stuff” to show. No matter your income, a key part of this “sidewalk” lifestyle is being one something away from true poverty. One missed paycheck, one unexpected expense, and so on. The point that MJ makes is that you can’t keep this “sidewalk” mindset if you want to become truly wealthy. As a “former sidewalker,” I agree. I had to make the choice that just-getting-by wasn’t good enough any more.

• Slowlaners. These are people who are following “the system.” They’re going to college, working hard, paying down their debt, investing in their 401(k)s and some other conservative investments, taking modest vacations and planning big things they’ll do after retirement – whenever that might be. Slowlaners focus on money – how much they can get if they work overtime, how much they have saved, how much they owe. I have to be honest here. This is where The Millionaire Fastlane almost lost me. MJ started describing some things I feel pretty strongly about – like paying off debt fanatically – as kind of bad. Ouch!! But when I read about the final group of people, his reasoning clicked for me.

• Fastlaners. This is the gold standard in MJ’s system. A Fastlaner values his or her time above all else. That means that Fastlaners are entrepreneurs – they create something in which they invest time once, and then draw continued benefit. MJ’s point is that no matter how much you make, if you’re trading time for money (for instance, designing top-notch websites for a couple hundred bucks an hour), time is still capping you out on how much you can earn. Like it or not, you can’t design 5,000 websites in a day. This is hard for me, as even the most profitable things I’ve done in life are time-for-money trades. This is also hard for me because I have no desire to be an entrepreneur in the business-building sense. I’m not passionate about it in the slightest. But MJ goes into some other ways of being a “creator” that go beyond building a long-term business, authorship being one of them, and that’s much easier for me to wrap my head around.

MJ also points out that Fastlaners do a lot of the same things Slowlaners do – like pay off (and stop accruing) consumer debt. The difference is mindset.

There’s a lot of valuable advice in The Millionaire Fastlane, even if you don’t think that multi-million-dollar wealth creation is your dream. (And MJ addresses that, too.)

My advice is, if you’re going to read this book (and I think you’ll find it interesting!), please read the whole thing. While there are mindset points in The Millionaire Fastlane that seem to run contrary to the Man Vs. Debt mindset – like, for instance, not thinking about business in terms of “Do what you love,” which of course is part of our motto, reading the entirety shows you that MJ’s got the right idea – you can’t do what you love as a revenue stream if it doesn’t meet a need. So if you open a break-dancing studio in a retirement community because it’s your town and you love to break-dance, don’t expect to get rich, essentially!

Overall, this book is for you if you’d like to think differently about the ways money and time work in your life. There were certainly some eye-opening thoughts for me!

What does wealth look like to you?

That’s one of the key takeaways to The Millionaire Fastlane: What does wealth look like to you? Is it a Lamborghini? A huge house? Awesome vacations? Or is it something else – the ability to donate $20,000 instead of $20 to a cause you’re passionate about?

That sounds a lot like finding your big “why” to me, one of the key concepts we talk about here on Man Vs. Debt. If you want wealth, you first have to know WHY and what that looks like. And I’m curious to see what forms it takes for you!

So what does wealth look like to you? 

Update: Congratulations to Beth VB, our 44th commmenter, who was randomly chosen to receive our copy of this book. Thanks, Beth!

Note: This is a post by Courtney Baker, chief seller and long-time running wo-man of MvD.

Every year come April, we brainstorm new themes for Milli’s birthday party. But unlike most parties, our themes don’t involve princesses, Spiderman or Spongebob. Instead we have balloon parades, pinatas and zoo trips.

We also don’t have presents.

Several years ago, we started thinking of birthdays in a new way. We were participating in the 100-Thing Challenge, and a single birthday party could easily add an additional 10-15 little toy bits and pieces.

We implemented a “No Presents” rule that year, and we’ve never gone back.

Everything worked out very nicely until we realized that guests feel uncomfortable coming to the party without something. So, we started thinking of ways for our guests to participate in the party without bringing mounds of unwanted toys or spending unnecessary money.

We have received rave reviews from other parents about our alternative birthday parties, because they know exactly what to bring, it’s usually low-cost, and their kids really get involved in the gifting process.

In fact, we’ve started seeing some of guests hosting their own present-less parties.

Milli’s 5th Birthday – The Pinata Cookout

Milli wanted hot dogs, brownies and a pinata.

We asked that our guests bring a bag of their favorite candy for the pinata. Milli’s friends were so excited to show her their favorite candy, put it in the pinata themselves, and then chase after it when the pinata broke. The gift was the party entertainment, and the majority of it went home afterward!

Each family contributed $2 or $3 for a bag of candy. Individually, it felt like a small, reasonable contribution; but when grouped together, they saved me $40 to fill up the pinata.

Milli’s 4th Birthday – Fancy Balloon Parade at the Park

Milli wanted a fancy balloon for her birthday. So we asked that our guests bring one fancy balloon to a play date at the park. We whipped up some simple PB&J sandwiches, strawberries and dessert for a picnic at the park.

I’ll let you imagine how picturesque it was to see preschoolers trotting across the park with their massive, fancy balloons. And boy were they proud of the balloon they picked out for her!

Milli’s 3rd Birthday Party – Trip to the Zoo

We were traveling in the RV during Milli’s third birthday, and we’d met a couple of families in a San Diego RV park. We headed to the zoo as a large group. With the small contribution each family gave, she paid for her ticket, food and a souvenir!

We love experience-based gifts! Tickets can be expensive, especially when the whole family goes. Getting a ticket or gift card for Milli only makes it much more affordable for the whole family to attend.

Milli’s 1st and 2nd Birthdays

Let’s be honest- birthday parties for 1- and 2-year-olds are for the parents. We are celebrate our surviving the first years and snap a million photos of how adorable our baby looks smashing cake. And we were lucky to do it with our “village” (grandparents, aunts, and uncles) who were equally excited and smitten about the whole ordeal.

Other Birthday Ideas

I’m excited to keep up our tradition now, because they birthday parties turn out so memorably! I think it’ll be more challenging the older Milli gets, but for now I have some ideas for next year.

• College Fund, give $4, $5, $6 (depending on age) to a savings account
• Bring Your Own Paint, art party where the kids decorate a sheet or a keepsake
• Birthday Signs, decorate a huge poster for the birthday person, hang on clothesline at the party
• New to Town, give $5 gift card to your favorite place in town
• Sports Party, pick a sport and everyone brings their own gear
• Fundraiser Parties, collect items for a local humane society or Give Your birthday to Charity:Water

Thanks To You All

Many of the early Man Vs Debt readers met Milli around her first birthday. Since then, you’ve seen her grow to a witty 5-year-old who is gearing up for kindergarten. Adam and I appreciate the good wishes and support you’ve given us on our biggest adventure yet – parenthood!

Which birthday idea should we use next year? Do you have ideas for kids 6 to 10 years old, tweens or teens?

Share your ideas in the comments below.

This is a guest post from Jenna Forstrom, the former community manager at Adaptu who’s now an account executive at a local PR firm.  She’s still staying on top of her personal finances, selling (er – donating) her crap since she bought her first home a year ago, and brewing beer. Find out more on Twitter.

I know this is a little un-Man-vs.-Debt-like, but I’ve been CALLED to stay put.

Not to move around, but to buy a house and set roots.

I actually did exactly what Baker said not to and bought a house at the ripe old age of 25. My home is in Portland, Oregon, the microbrew capital of the world, home of the best coffee roasters, nestled between Mt. Hood and the Pacific Ocean. It is the best place on earth. There is just one problem.

Portland is also home to the largest homeless population in the U.S. Meth, black-tar heroin and alcohol are easy to come by in my city. Abuse and brokenness are all over the streets. So as someone who is fiercely in love with the city, I’m forced to make a decision. I can choose to:

• Ignore the problem.
• Or be part of the solution.

To be completely honest, I didn’t make the choice. The choice picked me.

See, I was guilty of believing there was nothing I could do to help these guests (a term the team I’m part of now uses for “homeless”). They had become part of the scenery in Portland, camouflaged into the architecture. When I did see guests, there were the lies in my head:

“They are lazy and just don’t want to work.”

“They are just going to use my money for drugs.”

“They might go crazy and hurt me.”

“They must have done something really bad to end up homeless.”

In reality, those are all just lies. These people are simply … Human.  With the same problems and junk that even I struggle with.

I realized all this standing underneath the Burnside Bridge on a Thursday night in the fall of 2011. I was helping to chaperone a youth group volunteering with a program called Night Strike, and while I’m no longer involved in youth ministry, I’ve been faithfully showing up under the Bridge for over a year and a half now.

Night Strike is a unique opportunity for people to gather under the Burnside Bridge every Thursday night and love people because people matter. It’s an opportunity for the members of Portland’s homeless community to hang out, enjoy a hot meal, receive a haircut, shave, have their feet washed and have their old shoes/clothes/sleeping bags replaced. It is also a chance for volunteers to come down and share in the experience, help serve the needs of the homeless in the community, and more importantly, invest in the lives and build relationships with the people you meet under the Bridge.

That is how this tiny, white girl ended up serving Portland’s homeless community and is helping to bring radical relief, mobilization, and transformation in the lives and the city of Portland.

This year, I’m taking my service up a notch and helping to raise $27,000 for a mobile medical clinic by my 27^th birthday on Aug. 27, 2013. With this mobile medical clinic, Night Strike will be able to provide medical, dental, veterinarian, and ID procurement services. We will also be providing training to volunteers to walk with guests through the process of transformation in their lives.

Want to help me with my cause?

Consider donating to Beyond the Bridge to help fund a mobile medical clinic!

In Portland or coming to visit? Come volunteer at Night Strike!

Be the change in your own city

I believe (and I think Baker would agree with me on this one) in stepping outside your boundaries. Getting outside your comfort zone for the sake of others. That is where compassion is truly found. It stretches your boundaries of humanity and opens your ability to love, care and consider others beyond walls, barriers and boundaries of fear.

Personally, it reminds me daily that I serve a God who is fighting for justice and is telling a story of redemption here in Portland. I’m reminded that everyone I see in my life is loved by God, so who am I to withhold anything from them? I pray every night for safety and to feel God’s heart for my friends. So far, I haven’t left the Bridge at night without feeling His heartbreak and His overwhelming love for both the volunteers and the guests.

I get that homelessness isn’t a heart issue for everyone like it is for me. But I strongly encourage you to find out what your heart issue is.

Ask yourself these questions

What bothers you? What injustice do you see around you? What do you think is hopeless?

Then ask… What do I know about this?

Then: What can I do about it?

Then go do it.

I think your life will be changed for the better.

***

Note from Joan: Jenna’s post really touched something in me. I have lived in the same town my entire life. In fact, I described myself as the “anti-Baker” in my Man Vs. Debt introductory post because of that.

But, like Jenna, I truly believe that where I am is where I ought to be. I make a difference in my community in different ways – donating food to local organizations is a big deal for our family, as is caring for our local parks – but the cause isn’t the point.

I’ve often in the past thought I couldn’t do “big things” with my life because I stayed in my small town. Jenna reminded me that you can make a difference anywhere – under a bridge in Portland, Oregon; in a newspaper column in York, Pennsylvania; or traveling across the country to film a feature documentary.

The real question isn’t “Can you make a difference?”

The question is…

WILL you make a difference?

Note: This is a post from Joan Otto, Man Vs. Debt community manager. Read more about Joan.

A couple of months ago, Chris and I were browsing in a local antique store and he picked something up and said, “Hey, Joan, this is totally a Man Vs. Debt post!”

He’d found a 1939 pamphlet on “Money Management for the Family.” He loves old books and papers, and while he can blog about literally anything, I think he was mostly kidding.

The thing is, it turns out that MUCH of the advice is truly timeless and, dare I say, even a little familiar-sounding, so I thought it’d be fun today to share a few highlights.

On working together (and talking about money!)

• “The child should have some part in the family budgeting, for one who understands something of the effort required to produce the family income, as well as the number of demands upon it, is likely to be a thoughtful spender.” Oh, wait, that sounds familiar!
• “The child should understand that his allowance is his regular part in the family spending. It should not be withheld for misdeeds, added to for good behavior, nor used as pay for regular family duties.” This, by the way, is a subject for a whole separate post, but we don’t do allowance-for-chores in our house, following almost exactly this system!
• “A child needs guidance in spending his money, but the final choice should be his. He will make mistakes but he will learn the more from them.”
• “The best plans are developed in a family council… everyone either shares in making the plan or knows enough about it to appreciate both the limitations and possibilities of the income.”
• “The council plan may result in the family’s working together, each one watching his spending to accomplish a desirable future goal which might be difficult to attain otherwise.”

I love the last one most of all. I’ve said before that one of the best things about our family’s debt-payoff efforts is that we’re a team. We are more than the sum of our parts, and we are so grateful for it!

On budgeting

• “Your budget should include everything for which you spend your money.” Oh, so simple, but so many of us don’t heed this advice!
• “Decide what your average income probably will be for a year… (then) jot down all the things you want your income to pay for, listing first those which seem most necessary; the items which must be paid for regularly, then which come at odd times.”
• “Use old bills or accounts of past expenditures in estimating how much you need to allow for each necessary item in your budget plan.”
• “With a weekly income, reserve your rent weekly. An old rule, and a good one, is never to pay more than a week’s wages for a month’s rent.“ It was an old rule then – and it’s STILL a good one today.
• “If you own or plan to buy a house, consider regular payments on mortgages, interest, taxes, water bill, insurance and upkeep and repair as rent.” While talking to my mom about this post, she pointed out that owning a home when she was growing up was almost unheard-of. Hmm. I think there’s value in not “defaulting” to a mortgage!

On having a plan

• “A family account book is the first step toward successful money management for the family.”
• “To get the most for your food money… plan menus ahead; shop for best prices; prepare the food so that it will be appetizing; buy in quantity if you have storage space; use left-over food.” This is a huge one for us. We have a grocery-shopping system and tons of ways to make sure we’re using all our leftovers.
• “Plan the clothing needs of each person for a year. Save weekly to meet those needs… Decide whether you want to spend your money for style, wearing qualities, or both.” I’ve talked about this in detail before – that our clothes-buying is frugal, but not always cheap!
• “When the plan is ready, try it. Keep accounts and compare them with your plan. After a trial period, revise the plan if necessary. It may require several attempts to make your budget satisfactory.”

Just for fun

Check out the “Suggestive Spending Plans” here – for an income of $22 a week! Our family of four, at that time, ought to have been spending $7 of our income, almost a full third, on food – more than the $4.50 we’d want to allot for rent or housing. I love that we would be planning 50 cents for savings. That matters – it’s more than 2% of that income, and I humbly submit that most of us aren’t saving at that rate now!

For a true comparison, I ran these through the Bureau of Labor Statistics Inflation Calculator. You might be surprised to know…

• A salary of $22 a week in 1939 would equate to the purchasing power of $368.42 a week in 2013. This is equivalent to one working adult making about $9.20 per hour – so, while low for a lot of Man Vs. Debt readers, absolutely realistic in America today.
• Using the same percentage for food, that would be $117.19 a week for our family of four. This veers lower or higher, but I think it falls in the category of “fairly possible,” especially at that salary. (I also think that for a dual-income family, this cost probably would not fully double, so that makes it even more likely to work even today.)
• Ah, but then we get to rent. Housing expenses should come in at $75.34 a week, or about $326 a month (averaged). Can you tell that housing costs have WAY outpaced inflation? Yikes!
• The same amount should be spent on “operating expenses,” which includes utilities, household supplies, cleaning equipment, furniture, phone and so on. I think we’re starting to see the areas where the modern lifestyle is harder to maintain!
• Finally, savings of 50 cents per week on that 1939 salary would translate into a savings of $8.36 weekly now – or about $435 per year added to savings. While I think that’s a modest goal, I wonder: Can most people say their savings increases $400 to $500 annually? I hope that in the Man Vs. Debt community, our answer is yes – or at least that we’re working on it!

I hope it was kind of fun for you to see some financial advice from 74 years ago.

Any surprises – or family memories from that time? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

This is a guest post by Ivan Chan. Ivan is the founder of Wealthy Without Worry, a Star Wars fan and a martial artist. He loves to share with other busy professionals personal stories and simple ways to manage money and worry less in life. Follow Ivan on Facebook and Twitter.

Your child is looking up at you with those big, sad-looking eyes.

“But why wouldn’t you buy this for me!?”

You don’t want your kid to grow up to be a spoiled brat. So what are you supposed to say?

Do you make up an excuse to delay the purchase because you think you spoil your child too much already? Do you give in to the guilt, knowing full well it will cost you later, perhaps in more ways than just money? Or do you give the famous response of “because I said so” because… well… just because?

While your mind is spinning like a hamster in its wheel, trying to piece together the right words, your child is still looking up at you. The tears are starting to flow now, about to be served with a full order of your kid’s flat-on-the-floor-heels-kicking-lungs-screaming tantrum special.

You can feel the judgmental gaze of everyone within earshot, burning into your back.

As a parent, this is a defining moment for you.

What will you say?

The “Other” Birds-and-Bees Talk

As a parent, you will have to do “the birds and the bees” talk with your little one sooner or later. You know, talk about sex and pregnancy?

Icky, right?

If you’re like most parents, the mere thought of doing so probably makes you all squeamish and giggly like, well, a kid in elementary school. That’s probably why the euphemism of “the birds and the bees” was created – so people don’t have to speak openly about THAT topic.

Now isn’t it funny how the topics of sex and money are so similar?

Neither topic is discussed openly in most schools and households. Yet, we expect our kids to magically know “how to do it” for both areas of life. At least parents and teachers attempt to talk about sex, cute euphemisms and all.

When was the last time you taught your child about money?

How to Talk to Your Kid about Money

When I was a kid, my parents made a special effort to teach me about money.

They not only explained what they do with money, but they also taught me why. They taught me both theoretical and practical ways to manage money. They were open about successes and failures, about what worked and didn’t work for them.

I will share some of what (and how) they taught me with you today. Here is a list of things your child needs from you when it comes to talking about money.

1. You can’t be a hypocrite. This is probably the most obvious rule. But it’s strange how SO many parents forget this when they deal with their kids. Your position as a parent doesn’t mean you get to be a hypocrite. No one will listen to you if you say one thing and do another. That includes your child.
2. Treat them like adults. If they ask you a question, provide them with a reasonable response. Don’t make up some cutesy answer to get them off your back. Don’t say that you’ll tell them once they get older. And definitely don’t preach about how little kids don’t need to know such and such. Your kid is growing up faster than you think. Seize every teachable moment you have with them. They are asking because they want to learn from YOU. Do you want them turning to someone else to figure out this stuff because you’ve turned them away?
3. Know when to shut up. Just when you’re about to be straight with your kid, I’m now telling you to stop talking. Why? Because too much information IS a bad thing. Be honest with your kid about savings, budgets, credit cards, debt, and so on. But don’t overwhelm them with so much information you end up confusing or scaring the crap out of them. Stop talking when they stop asking questions. My parents are always honest with me when I asked them about our family’s finances. But they don’t broadcast the information unsolicited. If I ask, they’ll answer. If I don’t ask, it’s because I don’t care to know. Your kid probably wants to be treated the same way.
4. Tell them why. Explain your reasons for doing something. Relax, you don’t need to justify every last bit of your spending. But you should explain the principles and rationales behind what you’re doing so your kid understand why. This teaches them how to think and make financial decisions. Life isn’t a strict set of rules like a computer program. Make sure you prepare your child accordingly.
5. Stop chasing them out of the room. Have you ever waited until your kid is out of the room before you really “talked” about money? Perhaps next time you should do it during dinner with everyone present. You talk about school, work, family, perhaps even your crazy neighbors at the dinner table. Why not money? Your kids will be talking about money for the rest of their lives. Why not model good communication behaviors for them to follow now?
6. Let them watch you negotiate (and fight “nicely” over money). Talking to a loved one about money is not the same as talking to someone outside the family. Your child needs to learn how to do both. Be courteous in your financial dealings with others, but also stick to your principles. Know when to press for what you want, and when to make a concession. Yes, fight over money in front of your kids – just do it nicely with whomever you’re fighting with. Life is full of conflicts and disagreeing points of view.  Once your little one grows up, he or she will inevitably be fighting with someone over money too. Consciously or subconsciously, they will be fighting as they have seen you fought. By modelling the behavior you want to teach them, they will learn the proper ways to resolve disagreements over money.
7. Show them the checkbooks. Show them your day-to-day money management in action, right down to the nitty-gritty details. Of course, you don’t have to do this everyday. But you should do this once in a while, and certainly when they ask you about it. Get your kids to help create your monthly budget. Provide them with the money and ask them to pay a restaurant bill (while you watch over them). Take them to the bank when you deposit your paycheck. Theoretical talk about money is nice. But nothing beats actually seeing and doing it for real.
8. Be humble with the good. By all means, enjoy your monetary success with your kid. Money is meant to be enjoyed after all, right? But you should make sure they understand that good things in life are a privilege, not a God-given right. Teach them to appreciate and be grateful for what they have today.
9. Be honest with the bad. It’s tempting to hide. That purchase decision seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now it is a glaring embarrassment you just don’t want to bring up. But the fact remains: you’ve made the decision so own up to it like a real adult. Doing so teaches your kid accountability. And as an added side benefit, holding yourself accountable also forces you to confront your mistakes. While you are at it, you may even learn what not to do next time. Now wouldn’t that be a smart thing to do?
10. Make them feel like a member of the team. When the money situation is good, everyone is – not surprisingly – in a good mood about everything. But when the money situation takes a turn for the worse, the whole family seems to break down. It’s critical at a time like this that you rally everyone towards a common goal, and that includes your kid. Whether it be conquering your debt, getting through a job loss, or surviving a tragedy, you have to work together as a family to get through this. Tough times will pass. But your kid will forever remember – and reminisce some day – how all of you were a team and how together you all triumphed in the end.
11. Teach them concrete tips, not vague clichés. Telling your kid to “save more” and “don’t get into debt” is good advice, but that’s not enough. Because what exactly does “save more” mean? Are we talking $50 more than they save now? How about 10% more? How do you even decide? If you want concrete action, you have to teach measurable ideas.
12. Help them get started. Always remember that the smallest of actions is better than the biggest of ideas. Teach them what they need to know, and then get them to take action on those ideas. Start a child savings account. Show them how banking works. Whatever it is, get them to start DOING as soon as possible.
13. Let them know it’s OK to screw up. Admit it, we’ve all made dumb decisions with money. As shocking as it may to you, your kids will too. This will probably happen a lot when they first start out. Try not to freak out when they screw up. Instead, pick them up, give them a hug, and help them try again. That’s what you would do if they fell on the sidewalk, right? Then help them do the same on the road to financial literacy.
14. Let go. Now that you’ve taught them, shown them, even picked them up a few times after they’ve screwed up, it’s time to let them go. Yes, it’s going to be hard. Yes, you’ll feel like they’re not ready. Yes, you’ll want to hold onto your little baby for just a while longer. But you have to trust them. As a parent, all you can really do is prepare your child as best as possible for the future. Ultimately, it’s their future and they must face it themselves. And for that to happen, you must let go.

It All Starts With Parents

My personal financial situation today owes (figuratively) a lot to my parents’ teachings. I still talk to them about money to this day.

Our relationship with money is greatly influenced by our parents, whether we admit it or not. Perhaps there’s little you can do to change the way your parents handled money talks. But it’s not too late to make a difference in your child’s life.

I’m not rich by any means, but I am rich in knowledge. That is all thanks to my parents.

Raising a New Generation of Parents

Do you want your child to be rich in knowledge too? Do you want to be a parent who makes a positive impact to your kids’ financial future?

Do you want to be someone your little baby will always talk to, even after they’ve grown up, because they care about what you have to say?

Then talk to your kid about money.

Make up cute euphemisms about money if it makes you feel more comfortable. Tell epic bedtime stories about how you conquered your debt or slay your mortgage. Or simply be honest with your child.

Whatever you do, just do it.

You know this stuff is important, right? It’s important because even after you’re gone, your teachings will stay with your child forever. Then it will be passed onto their kids, and then their kids after that.

It all starts with you. I know you can do this.

This is your defining moment.

Your child is listening.

***

Note from Joan: Ivan reached out to me with this post idea right after I shared It’s Time to Talk Dirty… About Money. I was serious when I said this is a topic I’m going to keep pushing.

We need to be talking about finances. We need to be open with our spouses, our parents, our friends, and yes, our children.

Ivan’s right. Your children ARE listening – either to what you are saying, or to what you aren’t.

Make sure you’re sending the right message.

Note: This is a post from Joan Otto, Man Vs. Debt community manager. Read more about Joan.

Back in February, I shared that we needed to pay the IRS $7,104 by April 15. Last month, I said that it looked like we were well on track. Well, break out the party hats…

We wrote the check April 2, stuck it in the mail together, and have since seen it clear our bank account.

This officially means the taxes are paid by the deadline. (Meaning, no payment plan – and ongoing debt – needed!)

We feel pretty accomplished – but we also feel like there are some pretty big steps we need to take to move forward.

Our debt level

So here’s the most awesome news. Our total debt dropped $800.65 in the past month! In comparison with some previous months, which were at times over $2,000, it’s not a gigantic number.

But it reminds us just how fortunate we are – even when we can’t pay “much extra” by the standards we’re used to, we’re still making progress. And that tells me that whether it’s in 2 years or 5 years, this debt WILL disappear.

As of today, our total debt number stands at $57,752.09, down $39,135.94 from our starting point in January 2011 and making us 35.61% debt-free.

Updating our Very Next Steps

In our February post, I mentioned that we’d set goals that didn’t focus as much on our debt repayment for the short term. They were:

• Adjust tax withholding to prevent issues next year. Subsequently, adjust budget to match new (lower) amounts take-home paychecks!
• Rebuild savings account back to $1,700+ (more than one month’s mortgage payment) over 3-4 months.
• Restart payments above the minimum to credit-card companies, first in slightly lower amounts as we rebuild the emergency savings, and then at as high of a rate as our budget can take.
• Rebuild checking-account cushion back to $1,000 over 6-8 months.

We’re still aiming at all of these in order. However, we’ve made another change as well. As many of you know, we’re a homeschooling family, and as much as side hustling and debt payoff are super-important to us, our daughter comes first. And she needs a bit more attention than she’s been getting in the past year.

As such, I’ve decided to cut back on some of the freelance work I’ve done to generate a large part of my income. That’s not an easy decision to make, or one we took lightly.

But we feel strongly it was the RIGHT decision.

That said, we’re looking at a fairly major income hit starting almost immediately. That wouldn’t be so bad if the taxes hadn’t eaten up our savings and checking account cushions, but it’s going to be tight for a while.

Our goal is simply to stay in the black, to cut what we need to cut, and to do the right things with any money we have. That means building up an emergency fund, then tackling payments above the minimums, then getting a cushion in checking.

The debts will still go down. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I’ll still be sharing updates each month, as well as tracking all our debts in summary (complete with V.N.S. for each) on my “Joan’s Finances” page – so you can see how we’re doing at a glance.

One thing I know for sure: We WILL make it. I’m not willing to come this far only to slide backward now.

As we gear up for the start of our next You Vs. Debt class, it’s become more important than ever that I participate – not just as a leader, but as a student ready to take the challenges (again) and take action (again!)

By the time I update next month, I’ll have a good budget in place for our new income. We’ll be able to set our sights a little farther ahead and make some new plans.

I can’t wait.

Are you with me?