Mama's Losin' It

Boy Talk With Maile

2009-11-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

I snuck a camera with me into Maile's room while she rambled on for 15 minutes about school...I spared you 13 of those super cute minutes and will share only the 1 minute and 47 seconds that involve Maile's crush.

Dang she's adorable! Just her face as she tries to contain her laughter and then busts out....love it!

A sneak peak into the video for those of you who aren't the "video watching" kind:

Maile is candid about how she doesn't follow Jacob anymore because apparently he doesn't like it.

Maile liked the idea of buying her teacher a new umbrella after hers was lost in the recycling bin at school...and actually that portion of the video is in the 13.53 minutes not shown. I just liked the pleased look on her face.

Maile doesn't like that a boy calls her Miley Cyrus...she cracks up when I suggest she call him Mr. Noodle...I LOVE this picture. So textbook Maile to me. Dying laughing, but at the expense of someone else. She's the friend that falls over laughing when your ankle gives out in the hallway...oh she'll help you up...but she'll be cackling the entire time.

You can just SEE her picturing someone calling that kid Mr. Noodle...love. it.

i Twitter: And That's Because I'm Perfect

2009-11-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

I got sucked into twitter months ago. It's quite fun actually. They call it "mini blogging". Blogging for the ADD. A lot of people don't like it because it's just a little too much inside information. No one wants to know that you're stuck in traffic and have to pee...that kind of thing.

So since I like to tweet...and they're considered "mini posts"...I figure I can just bundle up a bunch of my tweets and make one normal sized post. Two birds with one stone ya dig:

Neilochka: I hate to read recaps where someone blames "the other" without looking at their own role in it.

@Neilochka You must be reading my blog...I always blame "the other"...usually because it's never my fault...and that's because I'm perfect.

My son is wonderful.I do not want to harm him in any way. I do not hi 5 karma when he throws himself to the floor angrily and bumps his head.

I placed an ad on craigslist for a daycare assistant...this girl just sent me a resume written in Spanish. ??? huh ???

I found this other wannabe asst. myspace page..her recent blog entries titled: Sad Day, I Hate My Life, So Wrong, & Home Bitter Sweet Home.

Sounds happy, no?

It gets better...her 'general interests' are: KEVIN, writing poetry, death, blood, and wolves. Very normal...very very normal.

(For the record those tweets were awhile ago and I've hired a very lovely assistant. She used to bring her kids to me for daycare and I begged her to quit her job and come work for me...no wolf girls for me thank you! Had my share of those.)

I asked Maile to tell me what color my eyes were and she said "ummmm...gold ribbon" and I was all "awwww...that's cute and sweet.

Until I realized she was referencing our recent ice cream trip to 31 flavors, and the Gold Medal Ribbon scoops we all got.

They're hazel by the way.

Kainoa learned a new word and he wants everyone to "BOP!" just "BOP IT!!!"

Hi. I'm a former English teacher & I CONSTANTLY break the then/than rule.My Mom just called me out. Egukate urselves.

@jtimberlake If you get back together with Britney I'll get MTV to start playing videos again...

@jtimberlake I don't know who I'll have to sleep with to make that happen, but I will make it happen. Do your part.

Justin Timberlake is not replying to my tweets..I'm officially offended. Why do I have to take my clothes off to get attn around here!?!

Turns out Ellen is not the only celebrity ignoring me these days. :)

Maile's Love Letter

2009-11-05T13:10:00.000-08:00

There has been marriage talk.

This is getting serious.

Writer's Workshop: Man That Sucked edited to add

2009-11-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

You know that feeling when you say or do something that you just wish you could rewind and take back? And then you think about it years later and physically just want to shake your head hard and try to think of something else? I wouldn't say I have moments like that often...but I've definitely had my share.

I played club volleyball throughout high school and went on to play college ball with a majority of my club teammates. We spent hours and hours of our time together. I was in the best physical shape of my life...3 mile runs were our daily warm ups before practice started. I ran a mile in less than seven minutes. I could jump, I could dive, I could hit, I could block. Our team was undefeated...ranked 14th in the nation at one point...and then we cracked.

Totally fell apart.

We had been predicted to win championships and we lost out on the first day of the tournament. I don't know what happened that day...it still doesn't sit well with me. But I know what happened to me. My mind was elsewhere. My step dad was terminally ill and though I couldn't see it then, looking back I realize what a distraction that was for me.I left school at the end of that year and enrolled myself in a four year university my junior year. I missed playing and I was confident I could play volleyball again. I was determined to end on a better note. I knew I could play at the level of this university. I knew I could be better than some of the returning players.

I went to the coach and nervously asked for a chance. He invited me to tryout and practice with his team for a couple of months. There were about eight of us new girls trying out. And the practices were ridiculous. I was in horrible shape...gasping for air as we completed vigorous cardio workouts. The returning team members were not extremely friendly. They had played together and known each other and I was competing for a spot to replace one of them.

My sarcastic jokes fell on deaf ears. They didn't think I was funny. So I didn't really talk at all. One by one the girls trying out with me started quitting. There were two of us left and the coach joked to everybody about how we were all dropping like flies. We couldn't hang.

I knew I was not doing well. But I felt like if he would just keep me on and give me a chance I could prove myself. It would take more time to get in shape again, but I could do it. I could be a leader. I'm not the type of person to involve myself in activities I might fail in. If I'm going to commit myself to something than dang it, I'm going to succeed.

He posted the cuts on his door and I absolutely did not want to find the results. If my name was not on the door than I was not on the team. The last thing I wanted was for him to catch me scanning that sheet and then call me in to his office to talk. *cringe* *shudder*

So I made my best friend do it for me. I instructed her exactly where to go and what to look for...when she returned she confirmed my fears. My name was not on the door. I had failed. I had committed and failed. I wanted to be the best, I believed I
could be the best...but I was the worst.

I was that girl.

Man that sucked.

*edited to add*

My sister...who happens to be the families all star athlete...who played on an all star soccer team with a full scholarship at the rival university I attended...who was one of those all star returners with a secure spot every year...just read this post and emailed me this:

"You were THAT girl in college?? I forgot you had tried out. And now having played and remembering those girls from come and try out, it's dawning on me that THAT was you... and yes we were not warm and welcoming, and no their jokes weren't funny. i think in all my 5 years we picked up one girl, so don't feel too bad."

Seeeee....so it wasn't just ME that got cut....we were ALL bad.

Now it's your turn!

Dear Ellen (letter 11)

2009-11-03T20:05:00.000-08:00

The last letter I wrote you was all about the surprise you had planned for me to be on your show on Monday September 8th. My people sometimes lose connections with important phone calls and sometimes cause me to miss events and what not...I'm certain that is what happened.

I try bribing my people to keep better track of my engagements by offering them popcorn and sweet treats, and they try, but these things happen. I also think sometimes callers are thrown off when four and five year old's make my appointments and maybe end the call prematurely. I'm still open to scheduling another date, let's try again.

For Halloween this year I dressed up as Wonder Woman. And by "for Halloween" I mean it was actually September, but I bought the costume in the "Halloween Section" at Target and that's kind of the same.

Anyways, it was wonder-full if you ask me! I pranced around the city of Seattle all day long and charmed the pants off drunk homeless men on every street corner. What's more flattering than that!?! The experience was amazing and the entire time I kept thinking..."this must be what Ellen feels like EVERY. single. day!!"

People begging for pictures, shoving their children at you for a quick shot, strange men asking you to hold their dogs, and fish mongers chanting "WONDER WOMAN!" as they toss fish at you at the market.

That's what you're like to me Ellen. Like Wonder Woman. Minus the magical cuffs.

You know what I "wonder" Ellen? I wonder why you don't like me. And don't act like you DO, or like you're not aware I've been writing you letters for over a year now...your email screener HAS to have given you the memo by now.

Email Screener: Hey Ellen there's a mommy blogger writing you letters...wanna have her on the show??

Ellen: A what!?! A mommy WHAT!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahaha. Ummm..no.

Why Ellen?

Why?

I wonder if I've been too pushy. I wonder why you can't see that I'm not just another pretty face. That there is talent hidden deep beyond these sparkling hazel eyes and this talent will not be ignored. That's not a threat Ellen. I am not going to extort you...unless you think that would make for a great show?? Perhaps? No?? I'm just saying I think your doing yourself a disservice by not recognizing the pull of the blogging mother. I'm just trying to help you.

Sigh.

I try not to dream too big Ellen...I'm just a mom...sure I drink some, but I'm still a good mom. I realize my days for big dreaming are over. Let's face it, I run a daycare, I drive a mini van, I foster dogs, I cook fantastic chili, and I dream simple dreams...but this dream I will not let die Ellen. This dream....these letters...this hope...it's all. I. have.

Still....holding....on. Have your people call my people Ellen.

Mama Kat

Dear Ellen Letter #1
Dear Ellen Letter #2
Dear Ellen Letter #3
Dear Ellen Letter #4
Dear Ellen Letter #5
Dear Ellen Letter #6
Dear Ellen Letter #7
Dear Ellen Letter #8
Dear Ellen Letter #9
Dear Ellen Letter #10

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

2009-11-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

Directions:
For you newbies it's never to late to jump in!! Here is what you must do. Choose a prompt that inspires you most. Write. Come back this Thursday and paste the URL to your actual post (do this by clicking the title of your post after you hit publish, an extended URL will come up in the address bar. That's the URL you want to use) into the Mister Linky that will be up...this way anyone can click on your name and head over to your place to see what you wrote.

Feel free to write on more than one prompt if you so desire. I do it all the time, but it's my game...and I don't know how to shut-up...so it should be expected. And remember the more comment love you give, the more comment love you get so comment comment away.

The Prompts:

1.) Describe something you're proud of.
(inspired via Twitter by Summer from Le Musings Of Moi)

2.) Tell me your most humorous wedding experience
(inspired by Bree from Breezy Butterfly Creations)

3.) 10 reasons why you can't sleep at night
(inspired by Roxane from It Really Is All About Me)

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

5.) Write a love letter to the object of your affection.

Which one will YOU choose??

...pop over and say hi to the inspiration behind the prompt you're going to choose! I love using your posts as inspiration...without them we'd just be blogging about our top ten complaints each week. I'm really good at that.

Don't Be Surprised When Maile's Crying In A Month Because Her Mouse Is Dead

2009-11-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

I know I've been writing about Maile a lot lately and I just want you to know it's not because she's my favorite.

It's just that she's the most interesting character in the house right now. No one wants to hear about Kainoa's current obsession with Elmo or how he screams at me to give him "dat" all day and how I have no idea what "dat" is.

kainoa: "Want dat mommy!!! Want dat!!"

me: What do you want Kainoa?? Do you want your blanket? Do you want juice? Do you want a banana? Do you want a girlfriend? WHAT? What do you want?

kainoa: NOOO!!! DAT mommy DAT!

me: Kainoa I don't what DAT is and I have no idea what you're talking about.

kainoa: WAAAAAA!!!

See what I mean. Boring.

And no one wants to hear about how Laina begs me to print her coloring pictures all. day. long...and how she only wants coloring pictures of dogs and how her obsession with dogs has not faded in the four years I've known her, which leads me to believe that perhaps she was one in another life.

Since nobody wants to know about that stuff it leaves me with no choice but to talk about Maile's birthday party...a post that got pushed aside due to me being lazy about it.

I spent the morning of Maile's birthday decorating so that she'd be surprised with a party when she got home from school.

I thought it would be a terrific idea to go to the pet store and pick her up her own pet mouse. She had been talking about REALLY wanting a little white one and they look harmless enough so...

Luckily I have a wonderful assistant who was able to help me put the fancy pink cage together. Actually her niece happened to be with her and knew ALLLL about rodents and how to put their cages together. She was actually a huge help.

And she cracked us up because she would say things like, "You know these things don't live that long so don't be surprised when Maile's crying in a month because her mouse is dead."

I kind of wanted to adopt her.

Next I surprised my girl at school with a happy meal, a balloon, and cupcakes. I realize I'm completely setting myself up for failure in the years to come. There's no way I'm going to be able to keep this up and Kainoa is totally going to get shafted. Poor kid.

I put the finishing touches on the party when I got home...thankfully Michelle from Le Poppy Design came to my rescue as far as decorations go. Michelle is one of my little sister's best friends and she's seriously amazing at crafts and decor. She puts together party packages on Etsy that are tailored to each individual child's interests.

Nice right!?!

Maile requested a "seal" birthday party. Seriously. Where am I supposed to get seal birthday decor?

I emailed Michelle just days before the party and she she emailed me back and was all "no problem, I'm your girl!"

And then like one hour later she emailed again to say, "and fyi do not google search "baby seals" unless you want to see men clubbing the creatures...tell Maile thanks for that."

And being the intellect that I am I thought...'what kind of men go clubbing with baby seals!?!'...thinking it was some sick spin on sickos and their animal fetishes. I mean come on I don't know what kind of crazy things people are doing these days and if clubbing with seals was a new trend I wanted to know about it...so I did what Michelle discouraged me from doing and found a disturbing sight indeed.

Turns out men are not clubbing WITH baby seals so much as they are actually "beating" seals with clubs...as in to death...with giant bats...and then they photograph it...and put it on the internet.

Awesome.

Thank you Maile.

I SO would have rather seen some men and seals drinking margaritas together. It just makes more sense to me like that.

Michelle still somehow managed to create two amazing seal inspired banners and cake toppers for my girl!

Thanks Le Poppy!

ps Here's the happy moment when Maile was presented with little "White Eye"...her mouse.

ps again "White Eye" now has a sister that Laina lovingly refers to as "Apple". More to come on that later...

ps once more If Apple turns out to be a boy, you all are getting baby mice for Christmas...just sayin.

A Bunch Of Winners If You Ask Me!

2009-11-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have some winners to announce today. First up is the ever late Flip camera giveaway winner announcement. I had to wait until the kiddies were in bed to tally up and record this one!

Go check out Mayhem And Moxie, Better In Bulk, and Seven Clown Circus to see who won the other cameras...and be sure to congratulate our winner!

Next in line are the winners of the Motherhood carnival from two weeks ago. I didn't want the Flip giveaway to overshadow the amazing posts they wrote last week and you all HAVE to read them.

After reading Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary's post I knew it was going to be a top runner in my book. Her writing style is different and insightful and I'm positive you will love her as I do.

Heather is the lovely winner of a post feature on my blog AND on the Eliza's Motherhood blog! Congratulations Heather!! Here is what she wrote:

***

I don't know how to be a mother, really.
I don't have all the right words to tell them
I don't know how to teach them
hardly ever

words and orders
my rules
obey!
repeating and explaining

Or
even more
how I live
how I speak
they will know and do and be
because of what I'm doing, not what I'm saying.

Tall order
living out what you say is right and good so they will act like you
because they will act like you.

I'm so often saying one thing and acting quite another thing out.

That's the pressure in motherhood for me, the thing I worry over getting right.
Not when they potty train
junk food
paci
TV
co-sleep
ECFE

Maybe those things matter, but only for a time and then they don't.

When I say I want to allow myself to fall into motherhood, I'm not talking about losing myself, I'm talking about allowing myself to be changed by it in the ways that I am meant to be changed so they will see it and want to live it too.

Being kind
Less Afraid
More vulnerable
Safe place.
Secure
Confident
Choosing happiness

Motherhood is all about changing. Our children, they change overnight, growing and learning and being more all the time.

I get scared that I won't have enough time to make sure they understand what I'm saying but not living out. I hate it that my own growing up takes so much more time, that they may be gone before I've finally allowed myself to be the best version of me. Because the trickiest thing is that mothering is such sacrifice and there are so many demands in the daily grind, it leaves very little space and time for the growing up of me. There is no option other than slow to grow, when a mother is almost always buried in serving and trying to love it, distracted from herself. So, the cocooning process is terribly long, at least for me.

I make it no secret that I believe in a graceful God, one that takes our slow process and the ways we fail and redeems it, making butterflies out of sighing grumpy mother caterpillars,

up in the air.

And this is Grace, my children, already seeing me as that butterfly, even now on my slow-belly crawl through time.

And this is Motherhood, a chance to see myself through those merciful eyes of my children, and then live what they see, what I didn't see without them.

***

Beautiful right!?! Stop by her place and become friends and give her some love.

Last, but not least, Liz from Mainly A Midwife won the aden + anais muslin wraps for writing a great piece about how becoming a mother has changed who she is. She talks about her former pre baby self, issues with fertility, losing a sweet twin when they were born prematurely, and so much more. Stop by and read her story if you have a chance.

I WANT To Give Away A Flip Today

2009-10-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

I do.

It's just that....the entries ended last night at midnight and I didn't feel like I was up to tallying 700+ entries tonight.

I know.

I must be sick or something.

There will be a winner chosen soon...as in within the next 48 hours...when I've recuperated from the ghosts and goblins and witches and what not...just not quite yet.

Try to enjoy the festivities today anyways and have a happy Halloween!

Unless you're Ukrainian and don't celebrate...like half the houses in our neighborhood. In which case, just enjoy this regular non-Halloween day.

Eat, Drink, And Be Scary

2009-10-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

This is the last day to gain entries in the Flip giveaway Extravaganza frenzy...and I don't know what it is, but I am draaagging right now. Perhaps watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta is not conducive for effective blog writing. Kim's wig is way too distracting. At my next speaking engagement I think I'll touch on that.

Anywho, link up with Lolli from Better In Bulk to earn today's five additional bonus entries!

For my vlog today I have no pictures...I'm not nearly as thoughtful this time as I was on the other posts, but what are you gonna do about? Never mind. I'll save my question for the end.

Here I am making yummy pumpkin shaped ice cream sandwiches by myself. I had one of the daycare kids film it and she was so cute. Every time I asked the camera a question she thought I was talking to her...by the end of the video she really started to take charge and direct a little. Really cute, you'll see.

Hungry now??

No you're not...you didn't even watch the dang thing. Let me just tell you they were wonderful. And you all don't even need to watch the video...just slap some ice cream between two cookies and call it a day. See how easy that is!?!

Today's Question: Why don't you vlog more often on your blog? And if your answer is "because I don't have a camera", then WOULD you vlog more often if you owned one?

Feel free to hop over to Seven Clown Circus and Mayhem And Moxie and answer their daily questions for more chances to win a Flip camera.

Writer's Workshop: BOO!!!!

2009-10-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to answer the question at the end of this post for an entry to win a Flip Ultra HD video camera! Participating in today's workshop will earn you five more entries in the Flip giveaway whether you like it or not.

4.) Post a vlog of yourself playing a Halloween prank on a family member or friend.

It's not a "prank" so much as it is just me trying to scare the crap out of someone.

I thought it would be funny to pull black tights over my head and jump out and scare the last parent to pick her child up from daycare. Because that's the kind of wonderful daycare provider I am.

Sheree has been bringing her girls to me for about five years now and because I love her so much and I know she's easily spooked when people jump out at her...I thought she'd be the perfect target.

I guarantee this will put a smile on your face...and it's only 42 seconds long...but of course I took snapshots using the Flip software and have posted those beneath the video for those of you unable to watch.

But you should watch when you can:

Now it's your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Show your spooky side.

2.) Show and Tell using your favorite Halloween home decor.

3.) Write a poem to your child as their Halloween character (for example I may write a poem to "Pongo"...the 101 Dalmatian Laina is going to be for Halloween)

4.) Post a vlog of yourself playing a Halloween prank on a family member or friend.

5.) Describe a favorite Halloween costume or moment you wish you had on video.

Feel free to hop over to Seven Clown Circus , Mayhem And Moxie,and Better In Bulk and answer their daily questions for more chances to win a Flip camera.

And don't forget to link up your All Hallow's Eve post with Lolli from Better In Bulk tomorrow to earn your last five entries. She wants to see want we are making in the kitchen. Show your devilish desserts, give us the scoop on pumpkins, or share your favorite holiday drink. If cooking isn't your cup of tea, then tell us what you are doing with your leftover Halloween candy. Do you enjoy immediately, save for later, or just bribe your kids with it when needed?

Today's Question: Who would you love to videotape yourself playing a prank on?

No Princess Crown Was Ever Found

2009-10-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to answer the question at the end of this post for an entry to win a Flip Ultra HD video camera!

Today I am participating in Seven Clown Circus's "Ghosts Of Halloween Past" carnival. Although I can't enter the Flip giveaway as a host, YOU can earn 5 extra entries if you link up a picture and desciption of a past Halloween with Angie today!

No Princess Crown Was Ever Found

I never knew what I should be
Fancy costumes we couldn't afford.
But Halloween would come, and I would run
Out of ideas I had no more.

No wings for this sweet angel,
No tail for a cute kitty,
No princess crown was ever found
To make this frog look pretty.

Each year, My mom, she tried hard
She oohed and then she ahhhed,
Gypsies we'd be, she'd send us all three
out with an approving nod.

And when I yearned for change,
Gypsy I could not take,
She brought all her jewels, there were no rules
As long as it was something she could make.

See Mom would not be deterred
Giving up was not her mantra
The costume she'd rig, throw on a wig,
And boom I'm cleopatra.

Don't forget to link up your Ghost Of Halloween Past post with Seven Clown Circus for 5 extra entries today, and then answer the daily questions on Mayhem And Moxie,and Better In Bulk.

Also, be sure to get your Writer's "Spooky Story Starters" Workshop posts ready for tomorrow.

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept Is:

1.) Show your spooky side
2.) Show and Tell using your favorite Halloween home decor
3.) Write a poem to your child as their Halloween character (for example I may write a poem to "Pongo"...the 101 Dalmatian Laina is going to be for Halloween)
4.) Post a vlog of yourself playing a Halloween prank on a family member or friend.
5.) Describe a favorite Halloween costume or moment you wish you had on video.

**And now for your daily question for an entry into the Flip Ultra HD video camera giveaway**:

Describe something you would love to capture on video?

Creepy Crawly Crafts!

2009-10-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Originally I had two long paragraphs describing what's going on here this week, and then I read Lolli's intro on her page and decided I talk too much. So I'm plagiarizing her:

Don't forget to answer the question at the end of this post for an entry to win a Flip Ultra HD video camera!

Today I am participating in Mayhem & Moxie's Creepy Crawly Crafts carnival. Although I can't enter the Flip giveaway as a host, YOU can earn 5 extra entries if you link up with Francesca & Kacey!

Here I used my Flip to video tape Maile and Laina getting seriously crafty with some pumpkins...this is about as good as it gets at my place folks. You have to watch the video when you get a chance...they've got to be the cutest kids in the whole wide world. Ahem. Besides yours of course.

And if you can't watch the video because you're at work and I know your boss's can be punks like that...here are a few still frames I saved as pictures from my Flip camera. It's not the same, but they're still pretty cute.

More plagiarism (thanks Lolli):

Don't forget to link up your creepy, crawly craft with Mayhem And Moxie for 5 extra entries today, and then answer the daily questions on Seven Clown Circus, and Better In Bulk.

Also, be sure to get your WordFull "Ghosts Of Halloween Past" Wednesday posts ready for tomorrow.

**And now for your daily question for an entry into the Flip Ultra HD video camera giveaway**:

If you could design your own Flip camera any way you like...how would you design it?

Flip Camera Giveaway

2009-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

I've owned a Flip camera for over a year now and it is with me always...just in case.

I use it for everything. I use it for all of my vlogs and when my point and shoot camera runs out of batteries I use my Flip camera to "film" whatever I want a picture of and then I later freeze the snapshots and save them to my computer as pictures.

Like this one,

and this one,

From this Flip video I made.

In addition to being small enough to keep in my purse, and in addition to be being able to use it to take snapshots, it also comes with movie making software AND hooks directly into my computer for easy video uploading. In fact you can load your video directly to sites like YouTube from the Flip video page. It's all really easy.

You should know that Flip has never given me a camera. I bought and own my own camera because my sister had one and I loved and it and I have to have everything my sister has that I love too. Because I copy like that.

Flip has also never given me any money to say all these great things about their camera. I just like it. But Flip HAS given me a Black Flip Ultra HD to give to YOU.

Not all of you, of course, I'm no Bill Gates, but one of you....

okay FOUR of you....because I'm not alone. I'm teaming up with four fellow bloggy friends and EACH of them are hosting a Flip camera video on their blogs as well.

Seven Clown Circus, Better In Bulk, Mayhem And Moxie and I will be hosting interactive carnivals all week long...to enter each giveaway you must answer a daily question in the comment section that you will find at the end of each carnival post. This means, everyday each of us will ask new and different questions providing you with the opportunity to earn a total of 16 entries by the end of the week.

**Today's question for my blog is "If you could award a Flip camera to anyone...who would you give one to and why?"**

In addition to simply answering questions on each of our sites each carnival you link up to will earn you FIVE additional entries.

This means if you leave daily answers on each of our blogs AND participate in all four carnivals you will have a total of 36 entries and an opportunity to win one of four Flip cameras (sorry multiple cameras will not be awarded to the same person if their name is drawn more than once).

Here's a sneak peak of the carnivals you may want to prep for this week:

Tuesday "Creepy Crawly Crafts": Link up with Mayhem And Moxie by sharing anything you've created this Halloween. Examples include, Halloween costumes, recipes, crafts, party invites, treats, decorations etc...

Wednesday "Ghosts Of Halloween Past": Link up with Seven Clown Circus by posting pictures and descriptions of Halloween Past. This could be a memorable Halloween from when you were a child or simply a cute story and picture from just last year. If you are contributing to this theme as an entry into the Flip camera giveaway Angie's asking for you to put an asterisk next to your blog name when you enter it into Mr. Linky. This way she can specifically view and enter the correct participants for the Flip camera Giveaway.

Thursday "Spooky Story Starters" : Link up with me by choosing a writing prompt and participating in her Writer's Workshop:

1.) Show your spooky side
2.) Show and Tell using your favorite Halloween home decor
3.) Write a poem to your child as their Halloween character (for example I may write a poem to "Pongo"...the 101 Dalmatian Laina is going to be for Halloween)
4.) Post a vlog of yourself playing a Halloween prank on a family member or friend.
5.) Describe a favorite Halloween costume or moment you wish you had on video.

Friday "Eat, Drink, And Be Scary": On all Hallow's Eve, Laura from Better In Bulk wants to see want we are making in the kitchen. Show your devilish desserts, give us the scoop on pumpkins, or share your favorite holiday drink. If cooking isn't your cup of tea, then tell us what you are doing with your leftover Halloween candy. Do you enjoy immediately, save for later, or just bribe your kids with it when needed?

That's a lot of information. All you need to do right now is:

1.) Answer today's question on my blog ("If you could award a Flip camera to anyone, who would you give one to and why?") and visit the other 3 contest hosts (Mayhem And Moxie, Seven Clown Circus, and Better In Bulk) to answer their questions, too.

2.) Prepare your "Creepy Crawly Craft" post and link up at Mayhem and Moxie for five giveaway entries tomorrow!!

3.) Remember to answer the question left on Mayhem and Moxie's site tomorrow and then head over to the other three sites to answer more questions for three additional entries.

Just to reitierate, you don't have to participate in the carnvials to enter to win. Those are bonus entries. You may simply answer the daily question (different question each day) posted on each of the four blogs to be entered to win.

Contest ends on Friday October 30 at midnight EST. Winners will be picked at random, notified via email, and announced on Halloween! Good luck!

I Gotta Crush On You

2009-10-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

It started with a simple sentence.

I like boys.

And then Pat picked up on it, "so who is this Jacob kid?"

I smiled, "she mentioned him to you too?"

Maile came home from school one day feeling sad. She said Jacob was not being nice to her. I pressed on, "is he hurting you, is he chasing you, is he teasing you?"

Maile: No. He's dest not talking to me.

I gave her the ol' boys versus girls talk. How sometimes boys ignore or chase girls when they like them. I told her that surely Jacob liked her, but he was probably just being shy.

Maile: Noooo...he dest doesn't like me.

She took to mentioning Jacob's name quite often. She talked about how she tried really hard to be nice to him, but that he still wasn't nice to her. She would tell me when Jacob was or was not at school. She talked about who was chasing Jacob on the playground. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. I've never seen anything like it.

And then Pat with his "who is this Jacob kid?" questions. I've found the whole thing quite amusing. Isn't six a little young to have a crush? Maybe she just really wants to be friends with him?

On her birthday she was excited because apparently the teacher let's the birthday kid choose a friend to shake a maracca or something. I asked Maile who she was going to choose, thinking it would be tough to pick between her two girlfriends that ride the bus with her and come to daycare at our house.

maile: Hmmmm...I dest don't know....I sink I might pick Jacob.

Naturally.

maile: I sink maybe Jacob will be happy wis me if I choosed him an he will be nice to me.

Unfortunately Jacob missed school that day.

Today I took Maile to school late. The Kindergartners were all sitting down to lunch in the cafeteria. The second we walked in Maile scanned the room for Jacob, "Ders Jacob Mom".

He was sitting at the end of the table with a gaggle of other boys. I sat Maile down with her lunch and I did what any loving mother would do...I marched right over to Jacob and bent down to his level and spoke in my nicest mommy voice.

"Hey Bud! Is your name Jacob!?!"

He said yes and bashfully started fiddling with his milk.

"I'm Maile's mom...and you know what? She tells me you're a really nice boy and that she really likes you."

He grinned quietly to himself, but did not reply. I quickly rubbed his back, smiled at him and said, "thanks for being so nice to my little girl!"

I gave Maile a quick kiss goodbye and promptly forgot all about my little talk with Jacob.

That is...until Maile jumped off the school bus this afternoon. She smiled all the way home and I thought, "boy she's sure in a good mood today!"

She walked in the house, tossed her backpack on the floor, and looked up to me with her happy sparkling eyes, "guess what Mom?"

me: What is it? Did you have a good day today??

maile: Jacob was nice to me today.

I'm so proud of myself....but Maile is really going to regret this when she sees me march into her Biology class to talk to her crush when she's a junior in high school. I'll stroll in there all confident-like during a final exam, wink at Maile in a "don't worry! I know what I'm doing!!" kind of way and bend down to the kids level to tell him that I sure appreciate him being nice to my daughter. HINT HINT.

If Maile gives me a hard time about it I will direct her to this post and be all, "seeee it works!"

Maile's song to Jacob:

: Read

Crush On You Lyrics
here.

My Daughter's Mother

2009-10-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to focus on tonight's post, but Maile is screaming in her room right now and I'm totally distracted. She gets in this zone where she screams so hard and so loud she can't hear me. And I get instantly furious. She can go all night. She's tired, and she's mad that I won't let her watch a cartoon on youtube before bed, and apparently she's hungry.

In the meantime Laina can't sleep in the room so I've moved her to my own bedroom and I fear that Kainoa is going to wake any minute...between Maile's screaming and my screaming for her to stop screaming, things are not peaceful right now.

And yes I spanked her.

Surprisingly those three stinging slaps did not squelch the screams anymore than my screaming at her to stop has.

Why do I continue to discipline using methods that have NEVER worked with this child? Screaming at her never works because she doesn't pause long enough to hear me. Spanking never works because dude, I just HIT her.

I know what will work. I know my daughter. Maile is a lover...all I need to do is go in there and stroke her little face and tell her to calm down in my most soothing motherly voice and rub her back. She will stop.

She gets her stubborn streak from me though and I SO am not in the mood to coddle her right now. Instead I sit here...trying to think up a wonderful motherhood post with a screaming child in the background.

Awesome.

Write a poem describing who you are and/or who you are not.

I am stubborn.
I am manipulative,
I am sneaky,
I am sensitive,
and I am persistent.

I am my daughter's mother.

I am determined.
I am shy,
I am introverted,
I am impatient,
and I am needy.

I am my daughter's mother.

I am creative.
I am thoughtful,
I am imaginative,
I am soft hearted,
and I am giving.

I am my daughter's mother.

I am goofy.
I am friendly,
I am happy,
I am girly,
and I am hungry.

I am my daughter's mother.

I am excitable.
I am nurturing,
I am an internalizer,
I am loving,
And I am loved.

I am my daughter's mother.

...and she's still screaming...

...coddling it is...

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

2009-10-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

Directions:
For you newbies it's never to late to jump in!! Here is what you must do. Choose a prompt that inspires you most. Write. Come back this Thursday and paste the URL to your actual post (do this by clicking the title of your post after you hit publish, an extended URL will come up in the address bar. That's the URL you want to use) into the Mister Linky that will be up...this way anyone can click on your name and head over to your place to see what you wrote.

Feel free to write on more than one prompt if you so desire. I do it all the time, but it's my game...and I don't know how to shut-up...so it should be expected. And remember the more comment love you give, the more comment love you get so comment comment away.

The Prompts:

A twist this week. Since all of these topics are inspired by Motherhood the movie, there will be a winner announced. I will pick my favorite entry and the winning post will be featured on the main character Eliza's blog (found here) AND on my blog, both linking back to your site.

A set of super cute aden + anais muslin baby wraps will also be thrown into the mix...although I'd much rather just keep those for myself. Aren't they cute!?!

Let's get busy:

1.) Create a list of playground dos and don'ts.

2.) Describe what makes you want to live a life with passion.

3.) Write a poem describing who you are and/or who you are not.

4.) Describe how motherhood has changed you?

5.) Describe how you are hoping motherhood will change you?

Which one will YOU choose??

That's My Mom!

2009-10-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

My little sister has an amazing talent creating memorable slideshows...no idea how she finds the time for this because she has like twenty jobs and a three year old to care for, but she's pretty awesome. And they're not like slideshows that you and I make...she actually learned stuff at school and edits and has proper technical equipment and what not.

People just send her a slew of pictures and their choice of music and she does the rest. She's done funerals and birthdays and weddings and bachelorette parties...you name it. They all turn out amazing.

And I'm not just saying that because she's my sister.

And I'm not just saying that because she reads my blog.

And I'm not just saying that because I need to stay on her good side so that she'll keep making them for my kids.

In light of the previous post I did about my Mom, I want to share the video Baby made for my Mom recently...and you will see why my Mom never admits to loving me the best...stiff competition.

You need to hear the music for the full effect:

(for some reason it doesn't work as well for me in Internet Explorer as it does in Firefox...the videos are a little distored in IE)

I'm The Scariest Mommy

2009-10-18T20:05:00.001-07:00

Jill from Scary Mommy has a fun contest going on right now. She wants to know what makes US "scary moms". She defines what it means to be a Scary Mommy and you might be surprised to learn that it doesn't entail intimidating your child at all...though it can if you want it to.

After you write your Scary Mommy post you can link up on Jill's page and the best part is that she's going to award prizes to the top two scariest mommies at the end of the week. Even better than that...one of the prizes is a Flip camera!!

Soooo naturally I'm going to play along, however this is a tough one because I'm so super duper nice all the time. As I sit down to write this post I realize there are many directions I can go with it...I can write about what I do that may be perceived as "mean" or "scary" to my kids...like the time I completely lost my patience and screamed shut up in three year old Maile's face.

Ahem.

A proud moment for me.

I can tell you about a time when I "felt" like a scared mommy...for example when I was three months pregnant and went in for a check up and the doctor nonchalantly said "you know sometimes these little babies just stop growing" as she searched for a heartbeat. I swallowed the lump in my throat when she finally discovered that elusive heart beating during an impromptu ultra sound.

We named her Laina.

I could talk about how I'm a scary mommy because I eat all the ice cream and then tell the kids their Dad did it. I could talk about how I'm a scary mommy because I sometimes don't start laundry until every last stitch of clothing in this house is dirty...or because I don't help my kids brush their teeth until my show is at a commercial break...or because I sometimes don't change their socks...or because I force them to listen to me sing love songs in the car for long periods of time.

But instead of telling you all those stories that I just told you I decided to take the question to the people who matter.

The children.

Their voices need to be heard.

me: Laina am I sometimes scary?

Laina: Mmm-yeah.

me: Why? What do I do that is kind of mean or scary?

Laina: You be mad at me cause when dad was getting me an went in da bafroom I be scared and choosed my mind I didn't want him to be da monster.

me: So Daddy is the scary one! What do I do that is SO mean!?!

Laina: You be mad at me cause you tell me to go upstairs and brush are teeth and get are pajamas on and go to sleep nicely and stay in bed.

me: Maile what do you think? What do I do that scares you?

Maile: nuffing scares me. nuffing would scare me...try to scare me an it wouldn't scare me.

me: But do I ever get angry at you in a way that might scare someone who really gets scared a lot?

Maile: You get angry about me when I be mean to somebody like Laina when I hit her when she whines.

So there you have it. I am clearly THE scariest mom out there.

And Then I Blinked

2009-10-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

October 4th was my due date and I was SO ready.

I was five months pregnant when I finished my first year teaching high school English.

I had the whole summer to myself...and I have no idea what I did everyday. I know there was a lot of Oprah and Dr. Phil watching (or sleeping through), but other than that my time as a first time preggo is a blur. I mean I didn't blog. I think I tried my hand at scrapbooking...I certainly didn't clean (not my thing), and we didn't have any money to spend so I sure wasn't shopping.

I can tell you one thing though, I did spend a lot of time thinking and dreaming about the baby inside me.

I pictured a tiny little dark haired philippino girl with pig tails. She would come downstairs in her fleece zip up pajamas and rub her eyes while asking for a drink and then skitter back off to bed. She would coo and giggle at me. She would be perfect.

Pat and I debated on a name. We always thought our first born daughter would be named Logan.

Logan Kaunaloa.

But when I got pregnant the name didn't feel right. We went through so many name options, I loved Bailed and Taylor and Kayell...Pat said they sounded too white. He liked Gabrielle and I hated the sound of it combined with out last name.

me: Layla?
pat: Too close to my sister's name.
me: malia?
pat: know someone with that name.
me: Kylie?
pat: Too common.
me: What about Maile?

And it stuck. We loved it.

My pregnancy was uneventful and easy. Aside from a Scrabble incident and some occasional snippy remarks I'd say I was quite lovely to live with. Pat has remarked on more than one occassion that I'm the nicest when I'm pregnant...which is super nice...when I'm pregnant. Unfortunately I do spend most of my days NOT pregnant and therefore feel slightly jabbed with that compliment.

Thank you?

So October 4th came and I was all "this is it! today's the day! I can have a baby at ANY moment!!"

And then October 5th came and I was all "omg I'm one day late!! what was that? A contraction? I don't think so...but STILL! ANY minute!!"

And then Octber 6th came and I was all "I can't WAIT for this baby to come! I just want to hold her and see her! This is killing me!!"

And then October 7th came and my sister and brother were having a birthday party and I started crying and I was all "How nice for YOU ALL to have BIRTHDAYS! I'm so freaking HAPPY FOR YOU!!!"

And then October 8th came and I was all "Seriously. This baby is never going to come out."

And then October 9th came and if you're sick of reading this repetitive recount of my overdue days just IMAGINE how I felt!!

And then October 10th came and I was all "Whatever. It's fine, she's going to come out one way or another, it's all fine. She's simply not ready. I can be patient."

And then October 11th came and I was all, "Seriously come OUT!"

And then October 12th came and I was all, "STOP CALLING ME, I'll let you know when I go into labor!!"

And then October 13th came and the doctor was all, "yeaaah we should schedule you to get induced"

And then October 14th came and I was all, "oh!" Slight pains throughout the day. By midnight I knew it was labor. I composed myself and called the hospital, but they thought I sounded too composed and told me to wait another hour.

I don't know how many times I threw up, but it was a fair amount. I never went to a birthing class because I watched The Baby Story everyday and I thought it looked easy enough. So I tensed up with each contraction instead and tried to physically stop them. Not exactly textbook.

I made Pat call the hospital again and cried about how they weren't taking me seriously. Even Pat pulled out the "how to tell when your in labor" chapter of my book and was all, "are you sure?"

YES I'M SURE!!!!

When we got to the hospital I was dilated to a three.

THAT'S IT!?!!? A THREE!?!?! Check again.

I was certain I was not only dilated to a ten, but that the baby had to have been half way outside my body. I couldn't believe it was going to get worse. She made us walk. I threw up some more. I inched my way down the hallway and glared at the preggo walking around in a plush robe and slippers with headphones on.

Finally my water broke. At last I had validation that indeed I was having a baby and the nurse could not send us home as she had intended. For the record I had no intention of going back home. I'f have planted myself directly in front of the nurses desk if that's what it came to. I KNEW it was go time.

The epidural was pure heaven. My uterus contracted to it's hearts content...if it had a heart. Just as I snuggled in for nap the nurse was all "whelp it's time to push" and I was all "I'm just gonna sunggle in for a quick nap if you don't mind" and she was all "no huh uh, you're actually going to start pushing now" and I was all "FINE."

And then she was born.

And I was in love.

A joy unmatched...at that time.

And then I blinked.

And now she's six.

And I don't want to blink again.

Writer's Workshop: Who Is This Woman?

2009-10-14T21:09:00.000-07:00

4.) Describe a moment when you realized your mom was more than just a mom.

I've known her only as the woman with the capability to send me to my room with a finger snap and a point my whole entire life.

I've known her only as the woman who was miraculously capable of screaming at me to "GET DOWN THERE AND CLEAN UP THAT ROOM OR YOU'RE GETTING A SPANKING!" one second and then answer the phone with an "Oh Hiiii DIANE!!!" the next second...never losing the glare and the finger point to remind me to get. down. there. and. clean. up. that. room.

Now?

I am that woman.

She listens to me complain about my day and when she calls to check in to see how her sick grandbabies are doing I answer the phone with an "ohhhh they're grrrrrreat...everything is juuuust fine", never losing the glare and finger point to remind my kids to get. down. there. and. clean. up. that. room.

She marvels at how in the world I'm able to do it all, as if she's totally forgotten that she was once this woman too. Although she had six kids to manage as opposed to my measley three.

How did SHE do it?

I can recall brief moments in my life where I realized my Mom was not just a Mom. That she had friends who laughed at her and funny things going on in her brain. I remember moments at parties watching her with family and friends and noticing a carefree-ness about her that was light and refreshing. They looked at her with anticipation and smiles as she told stories and reminisced. She looked easy to talk to and fun and thoughtful. She seemed open minded and level headed and intelligent. Who was this woman? And where were the furrowed brows and motherly smiles I had so grown accustomed to?

When my Dad died I was in second grade, and for just a moment my Mom stumbled. She didn't have the energy or desire to keep us on our toes. She would let our little squabbles with each other go. She would give us what we wanted for dinner instead of forcing us to eat what she cooked. She didn't push us to keep our rooms clean or to eat our vegetables or to put our shoes away. She was grieving, she was overwhelmed, and she felt sorry for us.

One day she had had enough. The way she tells the story she couldn't take anymore of the disarray, she needed her house back, she needed her kids back, and she needed some order to the chaos.

She says she went into mom mode, "who's mess is this all over the coffee table?? Baby! Get in here and put this stuff away!! And who spilled water on the counter and left it here to dry? Lolo grab a towel and clean this mess up!"

She said after her snap back into reality I stopped what I was doing and just looked up at her with that innocent wide eyed look that only a seven year old would have and in a tone mixed with relief and pleasure I said, "Mom. You're back!"

That's the first time I can remember thinking...wait a minute? Mom never let's us throw pillows at each other. Mom never let's us stay up this late. Mom never let's us eat pizza six days in a row. Mom never looks sad like that. Mom never looks like she is right here with us and yet feels so devastatingly far away. Who is this woman? What would have happened to us if she hadn't snapped back?

And I have to say, my mom is a beautiful friend to her friends. She has taught me to be honest and kind to my own. She has a passionate love for the men she's married. I model my own marriage after the examples she set before me. She's hilariously silly and yet organized and in charge. She's a loyal daughter and sister, but to me...although I love those glimpses of her in that light, I love her best just as a mom. Furrowed brows, motherly smiles and all.

My Mom.

....(How much you want to bet she's motherly smiling right now as she reads this?? *waving* Hi Mom!!! I love you!! Who's your favorite now???)....

ps Mom we need a new picture together...I've used this one like 343 times on The Blog.

Now it's your turn!

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

2009-10-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

There's a new movie coming out that I'm really excited about because it encompasses two of my favorite things...being a mom....and blogging. :) (I swear my husband falls in that category somewhere too...somewhere) The movie is called Motherhood and Uma Thurman plays a mom named Eliza who gets so caught up in the demands of motherhood she fears she's lost herself.

When she starts writing she begins to realize what is truly valuable in her life. I think a lot of us can relate to that...or maybe it's just me. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I laughed through the entire trailer. I think we should all "cyber" see the movie together...what if we all went to our local theatres at the EXACT same time...it would feel like we're really together.

Only not.

The best part is that I somehow managed to make it onto a list of bloggers invited to work with the film and get to do fun things like sit on conference calls with the director and stars of the movie. I'm pretty sure when Uma's interview comes up I'm supposed to ask her about movie stuff, but I think I'm going to ask her if she reads my blog first and foremost...than maybe invite her to get coffee or something?? I don't know. I'm nervous...she'll totally do coffee with me, ya think?

The second best part is that "Eliza" is one of us. A blogger. And she has an actual blog! Kind of cool that blogging has become such a sensation that it's even made it to the big screen! We are a source to be reckoned with people!!

So! In honor of Motherhood, this week's prompts will be all about your mom and what it was like for you growing up. Next week's prompts will loosely be based on what life is like for you as a mom and if you don't have kids you can answer the prompts as if you are a mom. Ummm...or just sit that one out.

Directions:
For you newbies it's never to late to jump in!! Here is what you must do. Choose a prompt that inspires you most. Write. Come back this Thursday and paste the URL to your actual post (do this by clicking the title of your post after you hit publish, an extended URL will come up in the address bar. That's the URL you want to use) into the Mister Linky that will be up...this way anyone can click on your name and head over to your place to see what you wrote.

Feel free to write on more than one prompt if you so desire. I do it all the time, but it's my game...and I don't know how to shut-up...so it should be expected. And remember the more comment love you give, the more comment love you get so comment comment away.

The Prompts:

1.) Interview you mom...questions might include, How has motherhood changed you? What ages were your favorites? Do you miss having having kids in the house? What was the most difficult part of being a mom for you? What was the most rewarding part? etc... I think I'll ask my Mom if I'm her favorite child and when she dodges the question (again) I'll scream, "DAMMIT WOMAN! Answer the QUESTION!!" Feel free to steal my idea.

2.) Tell us the story of your birth.

3.) How did you parents choose your name? What does it mean? What would you change your name to if you could?

4.) Describe a moment when you realized your mom was more than just a mom.

5.) Write a poem for your Mama.

Which one will YOU choose??

...pop over and visit Eliza's blog if you have a chance!

Tuesday Tribute: An Open Letter To My Toosh

2009-10-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today I'm playing along with the lovely ladies at Mayhem And Moxie. Every tuesday is a "Tuesday Tribute" day where you pay tribute to someone or something in an effort to show that you are a thoughtful, caring, and greatful person...or at least to make people think that's what you are. I mean...that's what *I* am anyways.

So this week's topic is to pay tribute to a body part...(edited to add: at least...that's what I THOUGHT it was supposed to be about. Turns out the gals at M&M wrote about the fall decorations...which is clearly not a body part....which clearly means you all can Tuesday Tribute whatever you darn well want AND link up on their site AND enter to win a prize...so yay for you. I'll just be happy with my post about my favorite ass and leave it at that. Amen. You may proceed.)

Without further adieu:

Dear Toosh,

Thank you for being perfect. And adorable. And perfect. I smile every time I get a little peak at you. Oh toosh you can be so shy sometimes, but when you manage to sneak out I am overjoyed. Not an ounce of cellulite to be found. You are perfectly round and soft and everybody loves you and I just want to squeeze you.

Toosh I have taken good care of you for years. I have bathed you, I have patted you, and I have bragged about you, even though sometimes you've been naughty and in need of a spanking.

Thank you for loving me through it all. You are the best toosh ever and I'll try to be nice to you...it's just...the boy who owns you does not always behave himself. It's not you toosh. It's him.

i twitter: I'm Gonna Punch Myself In The Face You Guys...Seriously

2009-10-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

I got sucked into twitter months ago. It's quite fun actually. They call it "mini blogging". Blogging for the ADD. A lot of people don't like it because it's just a little too much inside information. No one wants to know that you're stuck in traffic and have to pee...that kind of thing.

So since I like to tweet...and they're considered "mini posts"...I figure I can just bundle up a bunch of my tweets and make one normal sized post. Two birds with one stone ya dig:

Is it sad that discovering Phad Thai noodles are gluten free has been the most exciting part of my day?

The daycare kids asked me to sing Under The Sea because I'm part Disney Princess...when I obliged they all started howling. Even Aries.

Don't quite know how to take that...I've never been sabbotaged by a group of three year olds before...

I just sprayed myself in the face with Lysol. Twice.

Holy SHIT! I'm at my sisters and Pat just called and told me Kainoa was lunged at by a pitbull!!

The dog actually got his MOUTH on my baby boys face!! That could have been all kinds of bad bad bad...

Thank God he's ok...I mean really!

My life has become a cycle of poopy diapers, reality television, and making friends with people who may or may not be who they say they are.

I'm in a serious housewife funk...either that or I'm in the pre PMS stages...either that or I'm pregnant...either that or I'm menopausing.

Pat just told Maile and Laina to clean up the mess they made and Maile started singing "It's A Hard Knock Life"...no joke. It was awesome.

I'm gonna punch myself in the face you guys...seriously.

Kainoa's been screaming in his bed for over an hour during nap time...I even brought him candy as a last ditch effort at quieting him down.

Because nothing calms ME down like a mouth full of sugar!! I know...I know...I was desperate.

Small Talk With Baby

2009-10-08T22:20:00.001-07:00

An instant message exchange with my little sister:

me: I want to run away.

Baby: you did this once before when you were like 9, and I cried... but you came back after a couple laps around the block... im calling your bluff

me: I have that EXACT memory...only Lolo was the one who ran away.

Baby: seriously? haha... am I totally stealing your memory? or did you run away too?

me: I don't know. I might have. Mom was a bitch.

Baby: i never ran away... mom was saintly

me: My problems:
1.) Was going to take the kids for a walk, but can't find Kainoa's boots.
2.) Girl peed her pants.
3.) I have no idea WHERE she was when she peed her pants and I keep stepping IN WET SPOTS! My feet are covered in urine.

Baby: oh hell no. but i cant talk, my child is potty training and crapped his pants not once but twice yesterday for poor daycare lady...

me: 5.) I've put the markers and coloring books away approximately thirty times and they KEEP getting them back out.
6.) I've asked the kids to clean up approximately 22 times and they're STILL playing.
7.) I put pizza in the oven 10 minutes ago with intentions of starting lunch and naptime early and JUST looked to see if they're done only to find they're still sitting ON TOP of the oven. Ok I think that's it. Poor daycare lady is right. I would have slapped your child.

Baby: oooh man. one of them days!!

me: I can't believe mom used to slap us...can you even imagine striking a person in such a manner?

Baby: i never got slapped... mom was saintly

me: Mom has slapped me at least twice in my lifetime...but it may have been closer to five times.

me: Yeah like, "HOW DARE YOU!!!!!" whack. I can't say it's ever crossed my mind. And that makes me feel good about myself. But I was a brat to mom...can hardly blame her.

Baby: I haven't spanked yet, and I think again, I seriously never got spanked either. maybe once or twice? All that was ever done to me was the cheek squeeze, the arm squeeze, and the strong placing of me - like grabbing my shoulders and moving me to sit somewhere - SLAM.

me: Hahaha...yes...the strong placement for sure.

Baby: I too am guilty of those things! but spanks and slaps aren't in the arsenol, doesn't even come to mind...slaps??? that is borderline funny! are you kidding me?

Baby: we should keep this conversation to relay back to one another the day one of us smacks our kid in the face.

me: Haha...you know it will be me first. But it will probably be Pat I slap. For calling me a slut.

Baby: hahahaaa for sleeping with another daddy blogger

me: eww.

Baby: hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa...these online relationships can get out of control... first its just friendly, then your in vegas at a convention, one drink leads to the next and he's bringing you back to the room he's sharing with another daddy blogger for a secret rendezvous

me: I'm dry heaving. That's seriously so gross. But yes. Very possible.

Baby: hhahahaaaaaaahaha

Mama's Losin' It

Boy Talk With Maile

i Twitter: And That's Because I'm Perfect

Maile's Love Letter

Writer's Workshop: Man That Sucked *edited to add*

Dear Ellen (letter 11)

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

Don't Be Surprised When Maile's Crying In A Month Because Her Mouse Is Dead

A Bunch Of Winners If You Ask Me!

I WANT To Give Away A Flip Today

Eat, Drink, And Be Scary

Writer's Workshop: BOO!!!!

No Princess Crown Was Ever Found

Creepy Crawly Crafts!

Flip Camera Giveaway

I Gotta Crush On You

Crush On You Lyrics

My Daughter's Mother

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

That's My Mom!

I'm The Scariest Mommy

And Then I Blinked

Writer's Workshop: Who Is This Woman?

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

Tuesday Tribute: An Open Letter To My Toosh

i twitter: I'm Gonna Punch Myself In The Face You Guys...Seriously

Small Talk With Baby

Writer's Workshop: Man That Sucked edited to add