Maisha

Furniture For Sale

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 08:30:00 +0000

Kindly contact me on the addresses given below.

Black 5 Seater Sofa (free leather cleaner thrown in with purchase)

Dining Table for 4 persons

5 by 6 Iron/wooden frame bed

Please contact me on maishablog@googlemail.com or follow me on twitter and DM me on twitter.com/M_ama.

Of Moving And "Helpful" Friends And Relatives

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 18:35:00 +0000

As you are all aware am moving out soon. I don't know how the rest of you all did it, but for me it has been characterised by a lot of drama.

Firstly I have to confess that I have had on and off bouts of depression for the entire time I was looking for a House then when I got one, I wasn't really so sure about it. The House is not in my "comfort" neighbourhood...I had decided to let the place go and then when I went back a few weeks later, the beautiful house I had intended to take was gone and I had to take one on the very top floor. A friend in distress called to ask me to help her check out a house she had seen and wanted us to share, I agreed to help out and when she suggested I take her to see the House I had been talking about during the week. I showed her the place and she was so taken with it that she immediately proposed that we take two different Apartments on the same floor so that we can be "neighbours"...I jumped at the opportunity, got myself a really brilliant flat but missed out on one with a front balcony. We paid our deposits and were both waiting for the end of the month to move in. Unfortunately for me, the said friend asked me to take her to another neighbourhood, to also show her a House, I had found one of "my" other hunts and since I knew the place so well, I recommended it. She loved the House when she viewed it and took it up immediately which action made me "neighbourless"......This put a dumper on my week but not too much!!

In the office one of my workmates has taken to reminding me every other minute that I am moving to their neighbourhood and has taken to reminding me of the countdown to the end of the month "Mama....don't worry..you only have 12 days left to move". Another workmate has taken to telling me that she will only believe I am moving out when I actually get to do it. She doesn't believe I can. (Did I ever mention that I am best friends with my mum?) The said workmate does not believe I will ever be separated from my mother. My sister also subscribes to the school of thought of waiting to see to believe this move.

On the homefront, my mum and sister still unbeliever of my proposed move have been teasing me all week long. Last night, I actually heard them chuckling and telling each other how they are just waiting for me to start crying on the day of the move. More than anything, my mum is not amused that I am moving out.

My dad on the other hand does not want me to move out of home at all and has been telling my mum every chance he gets to tell me not to move. Dad prefers that I save the money and invest it somewhere profitable (instead of wasting it on rent)....or alternatively give him the said money for his many projects. To tell you the truth, I suspect that my dad just wants me to stay in the house so that I can continue doing House chores. For most of the time we live just him, mum and I and I suspect he will feel very lonely (and burdened by house chores) when I leave.

My sister and friends have already planned massive housewarming sleepovers at my new place which plans I am not even involved in...people just inform what they intend to do. A friend toady called to "advise me" to buy five litres of wines named Namaqua, Simonsig, and Overmeer (yes she named them) so that they can come "bless" my house when they come over for the sleepover. I don't even drink wine!! My sister on the other hand has already "advised" that I make sure to cut an extra key for her so that she can come in and out of my House as she pleases.

But most of all, what gets to me, is the expense of actually moving out!....I haven't even slept at night for the past few days just tossing and turning in bed asking myself what else I may have forgotten to take into consideration in the millions of shopping lists I have made since I got the House (I worry a lot). Let nobody cheat you, moving out is just so damn expensive and time consuming! Any free time I get is spent in malls and supermarkets rummaging through shelves and shelves of stuff trying to find myself some great bargains.

I will also have you know that my mum has taken to giving me her old stuff when I move and everytime she suggests something, at the back of my mind I go like those are not the colours of curtains I had envisaged for my new House! Heck, I know exactly what I want and every shelf I can get it from the supermarket!! Mum this week suggested that she give me some old rusty gas cooker that has not been removed from the packaging since about 15 years ago. She took it out of the |Store scrubbed it clean on Saturday and stored it ready for me to pack with my other things. When I was doing my house hunting, I always used to think that the only "old" thing I would have was a refrigerator. On New Year's I bought my mum a replacement fridge so that I could get her big old one.....now it seems I am going to move to a new house with very many "old" things!! (I don't refuse gifts-especially if they are going to save me money-I've decided to take them then return them later when I get mine). People have completely refused to accept that I just love new things.....its not so hard to figure out, heck even in house hunting, I was looking for new-never lived in before houses only!

Something positive happened to me though out of all this moving fiasco, my bro surprised me yesterday, he brought me a nice box gift of drinking glasses. I was so touched especially seeing as my bro has never bought me anything in his entire life!

Well that is a summary of what has been happening in my life in the past few weeks. There is 8 more days to the big day...I really don't know whether to be excited or not... coz I really don't know what old item my good relatives and friends have in store for me next.

Hey, Hey!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 07:10:00 +0000

Guess who is the brand new owner*** of a brand new apartment?

I am moving in when April begins as they are still doing the final touches to the Flat....I am just so excited!!

For your information, I am getting the red rug in the photo which I saw in Tuskys, being sold for about 3,000 bob!! I told you 2010 was going to be a great year!!

You are all invited to a housewarming at a date to be announced later...when I get some furniture in my House.

***By owner....I mean Tenant.

Of Growing Old And The Weekend That Was

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:50:00 +0000

Friday night I made the horrible mistake of being dragged to a beauty pageant by some young friends and some not so young friends of mine.

Kenyatta University was having its Miss K.U. Parklands show and a friend was participating so she needed us there for moral support. Being one who finds it hard to say no....to some of these things....I picked my bag, left the office and found myself tagging along merrily more so especially, when my sister asked to accompany me to the event.

The event was scheduled to start at 7:00p.m. but it started so much more later than that...which meant, we had to leave the venue immediately after dropping off our participating friend to go out for some much needed food. I met a couple of my friends, friends, who decided they were going to buy us meat and drinks. None of us was protesting until I met these two foul men one who was just "badly dressed" for lack of a better word...he looked like he had come straight from his bed. The other, decided he wanted us to go "dance" or "make love"!! I am sorry but I don't know anyone my age who says "make love" never mind the fact that I had only met this guy not more than 20 minutes earlier and don't even forget the fact that he was very old and very married. More than that since everyone else had grouped themselves into couples, sans my sister and I and then him and the badly dressed guy. He took the lack of our having partners to mean I was interested in talking to him and also that he had permission to caress my hand.

I was so pissed, so I told my friend we needed to go back to KU otherwise I was going to go home coz I was seriously tired. She agreed and we found ourselves back to campus having made (fake) promises of returning to the joint once the event was over.

By and large the ladies and the three gentlemen (only ones who participated) of KU entertained my sis and I. We laughed, we cheered and jeered those (the MC) who deserved it and generally had our fun. Seeing those beautiful ladies with their lithe bodies, made me really wish for those days when I used to be pot-less. I mean seriously I was the envy of all my campus friends (in the pot-lessness department) and here I am five years later and everything has just decided to go south on me.

Well the event ended at around 2:30a.m. and it was time for us to go home.

Help Kenyans At Your Own Peril!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:10:00 +0000

Yesterday, I was in a public transport vehicle headed to the Nairobi city centre and this young beautiful lady, all dressed up looked like she was going to work was just about to alight near Nyayo Stadium. The conductor was dilly-dallying ~~refusing~~ with her change and made some sort of pretence of alighting (several times) and talking to other conductors on Uhuru Highway trying to get her change back but each time he came back "with nothing"saying that he had not found the change yet.

The said girl saw two twenty bob coins in my hand and told me that I could ask the conductor for the money back since I was going to town myself and she would like me to help her out. She told the conductor to refund me my money back, made a grab for one of the twenties and alighted. The conductor agreed to the arrangement since after all he could not find change himself.

Soon as she alighted, he asked me how much money I had given her told her it was a twenty after all I had seen the young lady showing it to him. He told me there was no way he could give me 20 bob back because he owed the lady 10 bob only! And since it "was not my business to be giving people change in the matatu," as he so eloquently put it, he would only give me 10 bob.

When he gave me the 10 bob (which he allegedly didn't have in the first place when the lady was there!! matatu conductors are just thieves). I was so annoyed and threw it at him and told him I didn't need the 10 bob that badly that I would lie to people for it like he did, so I threw it at him, shameless man that he was picked it and put it with his money. When I saw he was giving other people 10 bob change I told him I had in fact changed my mind and would like to have it back so that I could throw it out the window and feel better about it.....there was no need giving him money after he had stolen from me.

He humbly gave me my 10bob and I threw it out the window (his window no less, coz I was seated in the middle). Then I kept quiet for the rest of the journey. I am not one prone to outbursts of any kind and I am really trying to be a good christian but these matatu people just exasperate me so much!!

Anyway, next time you meet me, I will be the one refusing to help anyone at all, even if I have the means to help out.

On a whole different issue altogether, Kenyans were dying of starvation not more than five months ago, they cried for and prayed for rain like crazy. When the rains came they unceasingly complained of the heavy downpour and said they don't want any more rain. Now, there's plenty of food and you must have heard of or seen the abundance of milk production farmers are experiencing. Dairy factories in the Rift Valley are pouring thousands and thousands of litres of milk everyday. Next thing you'll hear, "Kenyans are facing starvation and donor help is required to alleviate the suffering".

The government is at present busy squabbling over nonsensical issues (in my opinion) turning a deaf ear to the cries of our farmers. If I were a donor, I wouldn't waste my money on stupid things like the Kenyan government. in fact, leave alone donors, if I were God, I would really punish this government and its ungrateful people!

The Kenyan Judicial System

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:30:00 +0000

.....is crap!!!

Today was one of those bad days one gets (hopefully) once in a lifetime. I was at work doing my things in my usual jolly way, till I got a call from my mother...asking me why I haven't replied to her text message. I was in a meeting earlier on so I hadn't even seen the alleged text message. She quickly hangs up, I read the text message and there it is, my bro saying he had been arrested for .....wait for it......................

"boarding a matatu at a place that is not a passenger terminus" and what's more, he required Kenya Shillings Ten Thousand (Kshs. 10,000.00) as he had been told that is the traditional fine for such an offence.

This is how it all went down:

My bro was going to work at 7:00 a.m in the morning, so he got into one of those Langata matatus near Afya Centre since he works on that road. It is common knowledge that Langata matatus just plainly refuse to enter their designated terminus at the bus station-unless they are the old shabby ones, which take too much time to fill up. Unfortunately for him, there was a cop in the vicinity hiding himself and it was only when the matatu started to move, did the cop come out to tell everyone in the matatu that they had boarded the matatu in the middle of the road! All of them including their driver and conductor were taken to Nairobi Area (don't even ask me where that is).

My day was completely spoilt from that point onwards coz I was wondering where I was going to just get Kshs. 10,000.00 given I didn't even have 2,000 bob in my wallet. I rushed to the Traffic Court at the Nairobi Law Courts without any money and told myself I am sure to get an ATM somewhere there should I need to withdraw the money (never have I ever been happy working in the Nairobi CBD as I was today). As is normal with our judiciary here, the presiding Magistrate was nowhere to be found.

My mum was already there and so were a million other people there waiting for her "Majesty" to arrive. First and foremost those policemen froze me at the door until I had to identify myself as an Advocate...the idiots!!! Civilians (meaning non-Advocates and cops) were forbidden from entering the courtroom completely, so my Mum was just sitting out there and I had to leave her sitting on those benches at the corridor. I spoke to my bro, told him to accept the charges and then left since it was some few minutes to one o'clock and I convinced myself that there was no way court would start at lunch hour. I told my Mum the minute the Magistrate comes, she should flash me so that I can go back to court.

Shock on me! I hadn't even rested when I reached the office (which is quite a walking distance) only to be called at 1.25 p.m. and told the Lady had arrived!! I walked back to court in that sweltering heat, only to find some idiot from Lavington Security Guards forbidding people from entering the court precincts coz according to him no court session goes on at lunch hour!! I had to walk an extra distance to get in through the staff gate only for me to reach court and find pleas had already been taken.

I had to sit through some boring obstruction judgment and when it was over, her Majesty walked out and we were left waiting for her to go to her Chambers to sign the Charge Sheets she had just taken pleas of in court and return them so that we can pay the fines. My bro had been charged the full Kshs. 10,000.00 and thank goodness my Mum had the good grace to carry money around so we didn't have to go to banks and what not.

I waited for about 40 minutes paid the fine and took the boy with me out of the court.

I guess my bro was lucky (if you can call it lucky) in the sense that at least I was able to enter the court and be with him. Most offenders were not only denied the chance to have someone present in court....to even just give them the money......but they had to contend with seeing those rude police officers shoving their relatives away from the door. To add salt to injury, those relatives who weren't lucky enough to get a bench to sit on, had to stand the whole day to wait for the whole process to be completed.

What made me even more mad was that, the fines meted in court were just so manifeslty excessive and in other cases unreasonable in my opinion, boarding a matatu that is not at the terminus, costs you ten (10) grand, while driving a motor vehicle (personal) without insurance is Kshs. 600 not even a thousand bob.

When I left the court some people (relatives) ran to me to ask what is happening inside the court coz like I told you, they were completely forbidden from entering. Another told me that she had passed on some money to someone to give to her son but since she had not seen him. The injustice of it all made me feel really bad. Not only that, how many people in this country where people "live on less than a dollar a day" have Kshs. 10,000.00 lying around waiting for this broke-ass government to come collect in the form of ridiculous fines. My mum told me as she was sitting there (on the bench at the corridor) another woman was lamenting that she didn't even have money for sukuma (kales) where was she going to get 10 grand to pay for her son to be released?...The alternative to the fine was a 10 day imprisonment sentence........it was so unjust!!

Anyway, the moral of this story is that you better not board or alight a public service vehicle at a place that is not a terminus. You have been warned.

In the meantime, just for your general information......please familiarise yourself with the Traffic Rules, most importantly section 66 (1) which I reproduce here fully for you to cram and tell your relatives...lest you are called in to pay fines for them!

66. Conduct of passengers. [L.N. 173/2009]
(1) No passenger shall -

(a) use obscene or offensive language or conduct himself in a riotous or disorderly manner; or

(b) enter or alight from or attempt to enter or alight from the omnibus otherwise than by the doors or openings provided for the purpose; or

(c) when entering or attempting to enter the omnibus or matatu, wilfully and unreasonably impede any other person seeking to enter the omnibus or matatu or to alight therefrom; or

(d) enter or remain in or on the omnibus or matatu when requested not to do so by an authorized person on the ground that the omnibus or matatu is carrying its full complement of passengers; or

(e) travel in or on any part of .the omnibus or matatu not provided for the conveyance of passengers; or

(f) wilfully do or cause to be done with respect to any part of the omnibus or matatu or its equipment anything which is calculated to obstruct or interfere with the working of the omnibus or matatu or to cause injury or discomfort to any person; or

(g) when the omnibus or matatu is in motion, distract the driver's attention without reasonable cause or speak to him unless it is necessary to do so in order to make any request as to the stopping of the omnibus or matatu; or

(h) give any signal which might be interpreted by the driver as a signal from the conductor to start; or

(i) spit upon or from, or wilfully damage, soil or defile, any part of the omnibus or matatu; or

(j) when in or on the omnibus or matatu, distribute printed or similar matter of any description, or distribute any article for the purpose of advertising; or

(k) wilfully remove, displace, deface or alter any number-plate notice-board, fare table, route indicator or destination board or any printed or other notice or advertisement in or on the omnibus or matatu; or

(l) when in or on the omnibus or matatu, to the annoyance of other persons travelling therein use or operate any noisy instrument or otherwise make or combine with any other person or persons to make any excessive noise by singing shouting or otherwise; or

(m) when in or on the omnibus or matatu, throw any money or other article to be scrambled for by any person on the road or footway; or throw out of the omnibus or matatu any bottle, liquid or litter or any article or thing likely to cause danger, injury or annoyance to any .person or damage to any property; or

(n) attach to or trail from the omnibus or matatu any streamer balloon, flag or other article in such manner as to overhang the road;

(o) wilfully obstruct or impede any authorized person in the execution of his duty; or

(p) smoke or carry a lighted pipe, cigar or cigarette on or on any part of the omnibus or matatu in respect of which a notice is exhibited declaring that smoking is prohibited; or

(q) when in or on the omnibus or matatu, beg or hawk any article for sale; or

(r) if his condition is such as to be offensive to other passengers. or the condition of his dress or clothing is such that it may reasonably be expected to soil or injure the lining or cushions of the omnibus or matatu or the clothing of other passengers, enter or remain in or on the omnibus or matatu after an authorized person has requested him either not or enter or to leave the omnibus or matatu and in such latter case has tendered to him the amount of any fare previously paid: or

(s) enter or travel in or on the omnibus or matatu with petrol or any dangerous or offensive article, or, except with the consent of an authorized person, bring into or on to the omnibus or matatu any bulky or cumbersome article or place any such article elsewhere in or on the omnibus or matatu than as directed by an authorized person; or

(t) bring any animal into or on to the omnibus or matatu without the consent of an authorized person, or retain any animal in or on the omnibus or matatu after being requested by an authorized person to remove it, or place any animal elsewhere in or on the omnibus or matatu than as directed by an authorized person; or

(u) fraudulently use or attempt to use any ticket which has been -

(i) altered or defaced; or

(ii) issued to another person, if such ticket bears thereon an indication that it is not transferable; or

(v) if he is in a state of intoxication, enter or attempt to enter, or having entered refuse to leave, the omnibus or matatu; or

(w) enter or alight from any omnibus or matatu while the omnibus or matatu is in motion, or attempt to do so.

(x) alight or board a matatu or omnibus, in any urban area, at a place which is not authorized as a bus stop or bus terminal.

On that note, goodnight good people, till we meet again.

Shock On Me!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:00:00 +0000

I was shocked to receive this email out of the blue, I don't know what to make of it. Is this a question of too much time on your hands?

Hello dear
i am very happy to meet you.
How are you ? I guess you are fine and living good. my name is Miss Evan Jacobs a simple young girl looking for someone to share my life with,i find your profile at (blogger.com) and i'm interesting to know you and establish a serious relationship with you. i wanna be your friend for first friendship cannot be seen or even be touched, it must be felt within the heart.Hoping you feel just the way i do. Wow! friends are like clothes without them you feel naked!I guess am right. I will tell you more about me, my family and all that maybe necessary in this relationship, if this is okay by you feel free to contact me as to enable us get to know each other better with this email address;(evans.jacob55@yahoo.com) Have a wonderful day with lot of happiness.
best regards
Miss Evan.

Anybody interested in making 'friends' online? Friends who want to share their lives with you, friends who make you feel naked if they are not present in your life?

Disgraceful

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:33:00 +0000

Definitions:

1. Scandalous behaviour.

2. Dishonourable manner.

3. Shameful.

4. Unbecoming

and on and on and on..........

It is disgraceful for one to have a Merry Christmas post in February! Two months after the deed is done.

I have all these posts in my head I just haven't really gotten round to writing them but I am going to start soon.

Anyway, I hope the new year is treating you all well as it is me.

Nairobians Are Not Equipped For Fire Drills!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:30:00 +0000

It's been long since I have been around these parts. My birthday is coming up in a few days and the one thing I can say about the past year is that I am really thankful. All my life, I have always had serious plans for the next year. 28 was the year I was going to settle down, 28 was the year I was going to get married (when I still wanted to get married), 28 was the year I was going to buy my own house, 28 was my big year. The way life is going some of these things may just not happen but all in all, the truth is, I am so thankful and I honestly can't complain about a single thing.

One thing I am not thankful for is Nairobians! These people will puzzle you to no end I tell you. If there ever was a big fire in this city, I can tell you more people will die stepping on each other on the stairs than being incinerated. Today morning my Mum called me to tell me Anniversary Towers was on fire and made me promise to go check up on my Sister since she works there. First you have to know I have the most irresponsible Sister in the world. The silly girl calls to say their building was on fire, that they have been taken safely to some room and then she goes quiet. She doesn't pick up her phone for 30 mins after she delivers such news and gets everyone in a panic mode. I frantically walk all the way across town to go search for the idiot then when I reach their building, I find a host of people queueing to get into the lifts. I inquire about the alleged fire then I am told it was a just a fire drill!!

The silly girl finally picks up her phone and tells me she is in Nakumatt Lifestyle! I just hang up on her and went back to work. I have never been so pissed in my life! Okay-three weeks ago she got stuck in a lift and my mother again! made me walk all the way across town to go report it to the security my resolve to never have kids was reinforced. I thought I was pissed then. But I digress.

I am telling you people were severely injured in the said fire drill. Someone even broke their leg on the stairs! Anyway, someone just needs to do some basic education around these parts and tell people there are such things as fire drills and people need to be orderly about such things, trampling on people on the stairs is just not the way to do it.

Otherwise, have a Merry Christmas all ye good people, enjoy the holidays and God bless.

World Aids Day

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 03:00:00 +0000

Someone once said if you are not infected by HIV you are affected by it and how true that rang for me recently. Two weeks ago, a distant cousin of mine passed away she was buried on 22nd November 2009. I didn't cry, I didn't even attend the funeral, in fact I understood what it meant when someone says they were relieved someone died because they would then rest. However, I felt this overwhelming sense of anger which in turn has caused me a few sleepless nights.

You see, my cousin was in Form 2, so I estimate she was about fifteen or sixteen years of age. She was born with the HIV virus and has been a sickling and a weakling all her life. I was so angry that a parent would do this to a child-consciously or not. Her father, my uncle, passed away a few years ago from the ravages of the disease, so in addition to having a pitiful life, she was suddenly deprived of her dad, the sole bread winner in her life.

She was thrust into a life she was not used to and had to move to the village to start a new life there. Not only that, I can't even begin to imagine how miserable her life has been, I mean she could obviously not have had a normal life not with being sick all the time so she probably just stood aside when other kids played around. I can't even pretend to understand how you tell your peers in form one that you have HIV and then maybe those who knew kept away from her and made her miserable life even more miserable.

When my uncle (her dad) was in the last stages of the disease, he was so fussy, he couldn't let anybody see him, he covered himself fully with a blanket to hide himself and never left his bed. So visitors were not allowed to see him. In retrospect, I think he was not only feeling the 'shame' (it was a long time ago and stigma was rife) of having the disease, but I suspect he was also regretting that he brought children to this world that would suffer for the rest of their lives because of his and his wife's pleasure loving ways.

Anyway, I just realised recently how angry this issue made me and I had to blog about it. I would just advocate for people to get tested before they engage in the so called pleasure seeking activities and for God's sake, before you start bringing children into this world, go for the HIV test, it's free!

In other news, Kenya is on its way to become the new China and statistics
show that Kenyans have been multiplying at an alarming rate! Apparently for the
last 10 years we have been producing one million babies a year between
ourselves! I mean we are giving rats and rabbits competition! Is there nothing
better to do? In this poverty stricken-living under one dollar a day-country,
our main occupation is to produce babies? I am sorry but I don't support such
things. In fact I am against helping anyone who goes around begging simply
because they are doing it for 'the sake of children'! TBH that is their problem.
And just where have the family planning people been, when all this was
happening?

The Silly Things I Have Been Doing

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:15:00 +0000

I have been house-hunting for the past so many days, I don't have time to do anything else. For some reason people are really baffled as to why I need to move from home. I mean surely do people expect me to live with my parents forever? Granted my reason for moving from home sounds like a stupid one-(to buy my own stuff). In 2012, I am gonna be a 30 year old Mama and I am not planning to get married anytime soon. I just can't afford to be living off my parents at this age!

Anyway, house-hunting is hardwork! First, because all my friends have an opinion on where I should live and where I should not. Not just friends, but strangers as well. I have been told of so many areas where it is very 'un-safe' to live in this city, till I wonder where I should go live for real. Never mind the fact that some of the places I have been told are un-safe are places I frequent a lot to visit people. Some of these so called 'advisors' don't even know the location of where these 'un-safe' places are, they just 'know' that it is 'un-safe' to live in those areas.

Secondly, unfortunately for me, I am very particular about what I want in a house. It has to be a beautiful house since I don't intend to fill it with loads of stuff-and staring at a beautiful house is something I like to do. I want loads of space to move around in and I want to live in a place that has a lot of trees and greenery, where there are no traffic jams and where no one fetches water in plastics all day long. My choices are very limited.

Since you all know I am very prone to doing foolish things, the silliest thing I have done of late was to take the new ex along for the house hunting venture. That Saturday I had just commented on someone's blog, how I have gotten over this guy then on Sunday he volunteered to take me around for the house search. I saw him and just felt this rush of sadness and after I went home, I just started crying for no reason at all (or whatever reason you can think of- I just can't explain it). Thank goodness there was no electricity that day (in the whole country) and nobody saw me cry! Anyway, after I got on to Twitter and found out everyone didn't have electricity, I stopped the crying and forgot everything about the ex. Needless to say, I have not met the said ex since then and I am not planning to anytime soon.

The second foolish thing I have done since I last blogged was get dragged by a lady this Saturday to a pub to watch football-the Kenya vs Nigeria match. My friend and I just sat there an hour after the match waiting for penalties because the game ended with a 2-2 draw. Didn't we wait?! And then more fools us, we were wondering why on earth people were living the pub so early and the game had ended in a draw You should just have seen us!

The one bright thing I have done for a long time was attend a Sauti Sol concert. After leaving the football pub with egg on our faces, and no plot for the evening, we found ourselves at Galileos. We had no clue what was going on there only to be surprised by a live performance by Sauti Sol group and what a good job they did. I have been a late convert to their fan-base I have to say though I admit I had mellowed a few months ago when I went to a friend's for a sleepover and she played the album over and over and over through the entire night!! The group's performance was electric, why lie? It was hard for people to actually sit down as they performed- I know I stood throughout-on top of the chair no less.

Anyway, the only thing I can say about those guys is that the only excuse one has for not listening to them is that one is deaf, otherwise, there is no other excuse...they are that good. If you live in the West, please make sure you catch them at a club near you ...soon-these boys are going places!!

In conclusion, please listen to one of my favourite songs done by the group. I guarantee you are gonna love it.

Greetings And Nothing Much Really

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:00:00 +0000

First things first, ladies, here is a post you should all be reading. Kaasa On The Ladies. I hope you get some information there or just get to understand what the ladies feel about some of these issues.

Onto other things, the reason I haven't really blogged since I got to the new place is that I just discovered that one of my favourite bloggers is actually one of my bosses and they read this blog every now and again. The said person called me into their offices to tell me this and to tell you the truth, the shock has not worn off yet.

You all know that among other things, I blog about my life, my worries, my personal stuff that I assure you no one on God's green earth knows except for you dear bloggers. Take it from what you read here is the gospel truth, no exaggeration, no entertainment, which is why anonymity is such a big deal for me and I love the fact that I can say anything here without fear of judgement. It has been a little hard to decide whether to continue posting my business up in here or not, I am still waiting to see.

So the blogger who wrote me an email yesterday to tell me, "Keep writing, i have been checking your blog and i think you are becoming lazier,or the job is really demanding..." I say I am not really becoming lazy, the truth is, the job is somewhat demanding and now the fact that I am not as anonymous as I used to be has really thrown me off balance.

And in other matters, I just love the way you guys are. For me blogging has been such a blessing and I have made tons of e-friends and this week someone wrote me a long email and then ended it like this:

"Share with me only what you are comfortable sharing - this whole "knowing" people only through cyberspace is a tricky balancing act. :-) But while I am at it, allow me also to say: thanks for always being such positive energy for me in the blogosphere! If ever I felt I made a friend through blogging, it would have to be you. :-)

I wish you all the best!"

I can tell you I still have tears in my eyes and I read it early on in the week! I just wanted you guys to know that I love you all very much!

(Yes! I went and got myself these signature thingies I saw at Sultana's and Sibbie's.)

Nice weekend.

While I Was Away

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:00:00 +0000

1. Maina Njenga and Tom Cholmondely got released from prison. I have noticed the deafening silence from the western community, apparently when it is one of their own, 'judicial reforms' are not such a major issue. Maina Njenga I understand, is now saved and has now joined Dr. Bishop 'the gloreeh' s ministry.

2. Some gay men went and got married in London. This has caused quite an uproar around here but I can tell you for sure, the media went and overdid it. Why involve people's parents in your quest to over-sensationalise everything? I felt so aggrieved when I saw that clip on KTN. What did the parents do that they had to be brought in to discuss the sexual activities of their sons? Not only that, go out and call out the whole village to discuss how one of the men used to 'behave' in primary or was it secondary school? The sheer stupidity and tendency to overdo things in the Kenyan media just never ceases to amaze.

3. Apparently someone went down and did a study to tell us Kenyan children are having a lot of sex! I could have told you that without using any funds from anywhere. I mean when you have 24 out of 25 girls in one class pregnant, then obviously you have a problem, you don't need a genius to tell you kids are over-indulging in illicit activities. If any taxpayer funds were used in this so called study they better be returned.

4. Safaricom got itself a Super 'Ujinga' Ongea tariff which ranges from 80cents to eight shillings. The problem with this tariff is that it is targeted for clandestine activities like the Koinange Street ones. My phone is always 80 cents between the hours of 2.30 am and 5.30am Mondays to Thursdays. How do you call people at those hours? On those days? Weekends the 80 cents will go up to five or six bob. I hear YU is giving people free SMS' full time. Ati you 'amua' to buy a YU line for 20 bob, then you can text people all year long for free whether you ever buy credit or not! I would be happy to text people for free all day long, I just don't have the phone for it.

5. I have been cursing guys from the meteorological department for 'predicting' false weather once again. I have really been waiting for this El-Nino to come (only a Kenyan can sit and wait for such a bad weather phenomenon!). Nairobi doesn't rain as much as other areas it seems coz there is flooding in Coast and North Eastern provinces. Actually it had stopped raining completely until last night, I was so excited! Aki if I hear someone complaining about the rain today, I will clobber them silly!

6. Jeff Koinange's bench went and got hotter and hotter it's just that I am a soap addict, but during the many commercial breaks, I rush there to watch some interviewee or the other. Last weeks, Catherine Kasavuli OGW interview was really hot. Okay coming from a chic, that Mama is hot why lie? How anyone looks like that at her age is beyond me! But aiiii!! So Jeff asks her wehther she had an affair with Kanda Bongo Man (some rumour from the nineties) and she says no...which was very convincing. Then she's asked whether she went out with Mr. Big Man Daniel Moi and she says never, I just cringed in embarrassment. But what a sport she was! Anyway, speaking of Jeff, does he have to use the words 'good grief', 'what a show', 'what a guest'
'what a week' all the time?

7. Last but not least, Kenyan teenage-girls heart throb Mr. Nganga-lito went and got himself some more fame. He already has a deal with Citizen TV and will be hosting some new show called Jitokeze Talent Search. He will be holding the first auditions in Mombasa at Wild Waters Water Park this weekend Saturday 31st of October.

It seems my insomnia is back, who wakes up at 3am then decides to write a silly blog post? Okay the truth is that I had missed you guys a lot! Nice weekend.

How Does One Quit A Job They Have Already Accepted?

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:30:00 +0000

I haven't updated the blog for a while courtesy of my now very busy life which I absolutely love!!

What happened while I was away? I had to turn down the job offer I got first! Never mind the fact that I had started going to work there, in fact had attended two days induction at that new place, only to wake up on Wednesday and tell them I needed to quit. The truth is that, that place was a really marvellous place to work I won't even lie, the job title was good, they offered great benefits and what not but it's a place I wouldn't have been busy and think that after a few months I would start getting antsy about doing the same thing over and over again and the thought of going through mental stagnation.

Having to quit that job was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life! When I went to work the first day, I got a call from my current place of work during my lunch hour and there did my 'problems' begin. I had to go and meet with them in the evening to hear about the offer because I really wanted to go there. The salary was essentially the same though a little higher but no 'benefits' as such were offered. It wasn't the best placed atmosphere to work but I had to choose between learning, my future and a good job on the other side. The problem is I had to choose fast coz I had already started the other job and didn't want to prolong the agony of going (for long) to a job I probably would not have taken.

I can tell you I agonized a lot about the decision and had to quit, it was quite a day that Wednesday, I could have done the cowardly thing and just stop going to that place, but I thought it was more considerate to tell them I couldn't take it up. The first thing they did was try to offer me more cash to keep me there since their first question was how much money the other offer had put on the table. It was really difficult to convince them it was not about the money but rather the opportunity of learning and practicing in my field of expertise.

I sat up the whole of Monday and Tuesday night reading the Internet on 'how to refuse a job offer you have already accepted' apparently there is quite a lot of that going on. I called up my closest pals and parents to discuss what to do. Most were of the opinion that the second job offer was a better move for now, however, there are those who thought that the first offer was like really great and that I should not give it up. The idea of it being a corporate job, the opportunities to network with all the big wigs of this world, the opportunity to travel and even just the idea of saying I work there was such a big deal to some (you can tell I am still wishful) others just plain asked me why else I would want to go back to a law firm when everyone (read most women here) was trying to get out? I wrote a very remorseful agonizing letter (gotta love the internet) then handed it in on Wednesday morning to make it formal.

Speaking to all those people at the 'old job' was torture coz they all thought they could convince me to change my mind. The MD made a little noise (as expected) but she was good enough to wish me luck in the future and tell me when another opportunity arises in the future I would be welcome to apply again.

I am currently happy with my new workplace, it's busy, busy, busy, I never have a moment to do anything else, hence the reason why this blog has not been updated. I love my new work mates especially the girls who sneaked me out of work on my second day of work in the early hours of the morning to 'take me out' for milkshakes and cake.

My boss is brilliant, they got me new furniture (and you guys have to know how much I love new things!) so I am doing very well. The best part of it is that I get to work a lot and I know I am going to learn a lot there.

I look at my new job this way, in two years after all the wonderful experience I will have received in this place, I will just be able to write my own ticket wherever I may choose to go. it's kinda like a postgraduate degree you don't need to have it, but it's always a plus to do so. The best part about this is that, if working for other people bores me, I will have given myself the opportunity to open my own practice to do whatever I want.

In other news, Tusker Project Fame is over. My second favourite contestant, Alpha won. I mean I used to vote seriously for him at least 10 times a day for good measure! In addition to his marvellous dental formula, the man was humble and the fact that he didn't know English very well (being Rwandese and all) made him so adorable! People say he used to shout, I agree, but there was no one else there I could have voted for.

Patricia was a brilliant musician, but she is already a professional, how she got in a show for amateurs like Ng'ang'a-Lito the mechanic from 'gichagi' (rural village) as he told us yesterday on Jeff Koinange's bench. When Ng'ang'a said that I was so happy I swung him the one vote sms I sent, aki I like humble people.

My sister is mad at me, coz I started disliking Patricia the day she voted Debarl out in favour of Ng'ang'a the weakest contestant in the show. To my sister it is a competition and therefore Patricia's decision to eliminate the stronger contestant was a good move. When you eliminate a good strong contestant in a show that is decided essentially by the public is dunderheadness in my opinion. I am also of the view that had Debarl been in Pat's place and vice versa and chose Nganga to stay instead of the stronger contestant for fear of competition we would have shown him the door like Pat regardless of whether we loved him or not!

The public also wants to be entertained by good contestants not 'Dorotia types' so people need to think! Anyway, the shows finale was great, Alpha promised to end all our problems hehehehehe! I screamt till I lost my voice and got sick (headache) in the process.

Now, if only I could get Alpha to sing that Lucky Dube song (he's brilliant in those) about 'being good to people on your way up, coz you'll need them on your way down'. Dedicated to all the people who choose to compete 'strategically'. Hehehehehehe, I am evil!

I wonder what I'll do this weekend now that TPF3 is over and there won't be ChukiFM sessions on Twitter.

Have a brilliant weekend guys!

The Week That Was

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 19:50:00 +0000

This past week has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me, I have been up and down, no sleep, no eating, reading to the wee hours of the morning, sleeping past 2 a.m and waking up at 4 a.m. in the morning. I have had a few projects running, a million meetings, and a few more interviews to do within this week.

Funny enough, these people called me for a further interview last week and I have to confess I was very surprised. I met the senior partner second time round and felt so pleased with myself since I arrived there 30 minutes early. It went really well I have to say. I really wanted to go work there seeing as it's a bigger practice than what I have been accustomed to. However, I don't think I want to sit around to wait for their reply. Someone else offered me a job first and the 'someone else' wanted me to start working there immediately. So I am going to start my new job tomorrow morning! The good thing is, I get to earn an extra 75% of my old salary, which makes me wonder why I didn't leave the old job sooner!! I hope this job turns out to be great coz I intend to stick on there for a long while. The one advantage it has, is that it gets me out of private practice and into the corporate world.....which is what I always wanted.

Unfortunately for me, the week started on a bad note, last week on Sunday, some guy in the city centre pinched one of my mum's indicator lights causing me to go into a cursing and ranting fit. I guess it is so common in Nairobi, to have people stealing your lights, your mirrors. They have done it to my mum before and then tried to sell us the same light a few hours later. Just this week, I saw someone's lights being taken while they were in the car, on Waiyaki Way at seven o'clock in the morning. She just sat there honking her horn as he stole but no one in the traffic jam felt like helping. The bugger stole, smiled at her, then ran to some nearby ditch to hide his loot.

At the end of the week, my dad travelled and on the way met some robbers, who ordered everyone out of the vehicle and asked them all to deposit their phones, rings, jewellery, money etc. Then they took the vehicles keys and disappeared in the middle of the bush! Leaving people stranded at about 3.30 a.m. in the morning near a National Park!! The good thing is, no one was hurt by the thugs during the incident, the police found them and towed them to safety.

Other than that, everything was as it always is, except those stupid matatus of ours decided to drop us off at Ngara on Thursday morning!! Actually all matatus coming in to town from Ngara, (No. 11's, 44's, 9's, 25's, 106's, 108's, 114's etc.) all dropped passengers in Ngara and made us walk all the way to town!! Unfortunately for me, I was going to the farthest end of town. The matatus were afraid of some sort of 'operation' around the Globe Cinema so they thought it fit to punish the passengers for it! I am telling you I was all dressed up for an interview later on that afternoon, but I had some business to take care of which is why I was on the road at 8 a.m. in the morning. Add that to the fact that I carry a lot of baggage, how I hate walking, how much I hate dust, how much I hate that Globe Cinema place coz it always has some dodgy looking characters and you can begin to understand how pissed off I was. I walked all the way, to town tired and dusty as hell! Then I got myself into one of those shoe shining places for the first time in my life (which was the only fun part). As I was sitting in those nice high shoe shinning chairs, I saw someone who was in my matatu pass me a few minutes later having bought some rubber shoes after the long walk into town! I thought Nairobians really do go through a lot! Iteere should just tell his boys to start their 'operations' during reasonable hours, after people have gotten to work coz this walking around is just ridiculous! Actually, what I need is to stop using those stupid mats of ours and move to an estate where they have proper buses that are not susceptible to 'operations'.

The bottom line is that I have learned a lot of stuff this week. Mostly I have learnt that God really has my back and that he loves me a lot. I have learnt the power of professing positive stuff over my life and others. I have learnt to be thankful to God for a lot of things that I take for granted. More than anything, I have also learnt to always pray for the safety of my family because life is so short. You never know when some rogue will appear and mess up everything.

Have a great week people.

Of Matatus and Project Fame

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:10:00 +0000

It seems I am not the only one who thinks Iteere's traffic 'operations' have become a nightmare. I heard on the news yesterday that commuters along the Nairobi Thika Highway shouted at a policeman and almost beat him up for delaying them. They wanted the policeman to take the matatu's registration number, the driver's licence and let them be on their way because they had been kept too loooooong at that spot.

There is no doubt about it, it is good to have safer vehicles, sober drivers and conductors, proper insurance documentation etc. because at the end of the day when something goes wrong, it is us commuters who will suffer. What's even better, the matatus will not have the need to give bribes to police officers every other five minutes because their things will be in order. I support the 'operations' of course, it's just that they are so inconveniencing to commuters. Why can't people (matatu owners) just do the right thing and save everyone a lot of trouble?

Aside from that, everything is brilliant on my end. Although I am not going to Rwanda as I anticipated at the end of the year. I had looked forward to the trip but the organisers don't seem to have organised it very well especially as relates to promises that I heard them making. I mean how can a conference running for two days also include trips to national parks and historical sites? It would then mean that there either will be no proper conference to speak of or there will be no trips as promised- I was going mostly (shamelessly) for the trips, so it was an easy decision to make.

Debarl

In other news, my favourite male contestant Debarl Clement Inea was kicked out of Tusker Project Fame 3 and the Ng'ang'a (my worst) is still there. I had sworn off watching the programme after his eviction but Sunday evening I found myself glued to my screen for the one and a half hours to see who would go for probation at the end of the programmes. This is my first Project Fame show to watch and maybe I am more excited than most people about it, but I guess I am allowed. I hear Pop Idols is a lot more hotter so I can't wait for that either.

I mean Ng'ang'a can't even sing to save his life but he was saved by the housemates being as he is the weakest singer in the house. In previous probation line-ups Kenyan ladies used to save him (what for? I have no idea) ati he's an entertainer. A friend of mine was voting for him because he is handsome-she's over 40!! His performance this past week was okay I guess (his best so far in my opinion) especially given that he previously had sang San Fan Thomas 'Lelengesue' song in Kikuyu and very heavy mother-tongue influence-don't think he knew the lingala words very well.

Ng'ang'a

Well at least Alpha from Rwanda is still in the house and the only candidate not on probation this week. I hope he wins the competition-he is my new favourite-his dental formula is amazing!

I don't know about the organisers of this Tusker Project Fame thing but having fellow contestants remove another is just downright stupidity. It's like telling students in a class to grade others on their academic performance. It is a music (vocal!) talent competition, not dancing -Ng'anga and Kelvin, not comedy-Nganga, not dress-ups, not a hair show, not a love affair show -Illuminata and Christian and having singing talent thrown out by fellow 'jealous' housemates with poor voices just doesn't make any sense to me. Let judges pick a favourite, let the facutly do it, let the public do it but don't involve fellow contestants. Anyway I don't know why I am complaining, like everything in Kenya, merit is not really a qualification for selection. We would rather other things play a key role in our affairs read (generally) corruption, rigging, popularity, 'our own,' etc

The best thing about watching TPF3 live on Saturdays and Sundays is that on Twitter, Kenyan tweeps, will 'Twi-hate' and 'Twi-pplaud' the performances as they are going on stage which really just adds to the fun. If you live in East Africa and you watch the live shows, why don't you join us this weekend on Twitter for the mother of all evictions?

Why I Dislike Iteere.. The New Police Commissioner

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:00:00 +0000

The new Commissioner Iteere and His predecessor Ali (right)

I don't know about you but at the moment I am not liking the new police commissioner very much! Just read what he did to me:

Yesterday, I had a morning interview and left my house an hour to the scheduled time. My journey takes about 15 to 20 minutes to town if the traffic is not heavy.

Unfortunately for me, the man decided to send his officers to descend on our route pretending to be all busy and what not. The result? I reached my meeting more than 20 minutes late! Thanks to his officers who had chased away most of our mats into hiding.

The mat I used decided to take us round some clandestine routes to escape more police men of the roads which made us get into town even the more late (r)! I wrote myself off that position way before I got into the meeting. The problem was that I couldn't just not go because someone had made a real effort to inform me of the vacancy and if for nothing else, it was good to practice my interview skills.

Iteere should announce in advance the next time he wants to launch these 'operations' of his, that way we will be prepared to wait for even up to 2 hours!

I just felt like ranting.

Feedback

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:30:00 +0000

I hope you are all doing great. I also hope that all ye Kenyans are feeling well rested after that long Idd-ul-fitr weekend. Our Muslim brothers and sisters welcome back to the land of the eating.

I have been wondering what the heck I was going to post about this week when I decided to check my stat counter statistics on Statcounter and just burst out into laughter. I could only go so far back but seriously you people can really make a girl laugh. So I decided to do a post (if you can call it that) on some of the keywords you've been typing on search engines that lead some of you to this blog.

Some are just normal but some made me really wonder what you were thinking! Some of the things you have been searching heh!! Let me just say that this blog is for general exhibition.

1. Swine flu in Kenya Sarit Centre.
2. Biashara Street Nairobi baby shops.
3. Safaricom Club 20
4. Wedding Show Citizen (x100)
5. Safari porno na Africa
6. Boob pic
7. Manboobs
8. Story about bachelor parties in Nairobi
9. Maisha
10. Which product is more effective bio oil/johnsons tissue oil
11. Male strip clubs in Nairobi (x100)
12. What's better Vitz or Duet
13. Safaricom Internet Settings
14. Maina Kageni
15. Johnsons pure tissue oil (x100)
16. Sexchat
17. Why you should never call a man
18. Man boobs (x100)
19. What happens at a naughty male stag night
20. Free browsing ways on Safaricom
21. Maasai
22. Hiding of stretchmarks (x100) through make up concealer and foundation
23. Kenyan jobs in 3rd July 2009
24. Nusu kapeti
25. If I am tired am I sick?
26. Why can't kids go to bars.

27. Overtired sick.
28. GPRS charges per MB on mobile phones Safaricom
29. Pregnant at 4 months
30. Kenyans are jobless
31. Dying Muthaura
32. Why do boys need parents
33. Sasha Malia
34. Some driver just spash water to me on a rainy day
35. Pregnant man
36. Matheri's criminal profile
37. Stag party ladies
38. Do people cheat on stag nights
39. Muthaura sick
40. Ugali Knorr
41. Friday Humour
42. Scientific name for inconsiderate
43. Itching vergina after sex pics
44. Dagi Kimani
45. Vaginal wonders
46. Storm over Paradise Aymar pregnant
47. Spinisters
48. Kenyans latest wedding shows
49. Joey Muthengi
50. Do you want to lose weight let me show you how
51. Africa braids
52. Sending mms with Safaricom network
53. Palmer's cocoa butter fake product production
54. When is the best time to kill yourself.
55. Rainy season in Nairobi

All grammatical and spelling errors are intentional
(x100) denotes there were massive queries on those issues.

Now if you have a problem, please seek help, don't type out when the best time to kill yourself is, coz there is none! Otherwise, apart from that one which was a bit scary, I had a really good laugh. And for heaven's sake DO NOT buy either a Vitz or a Duet!! Those are not cars!

Have you seen something that you typed out in Google? Bing? Yahoo?

Have a great week.

I Feel Violated!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:30:00 +0000

Of Music And Matatus.

I am usually a very tolerant person when it comes to other people's cultures, other people's music etc. I mean it's a free world and people have a right to do whatever they want to do so long as they are not infringing on my rights. I will not complain about a lot of things people do even if they want to put for us vernacular stations regardless of whether we can hear or not.

But really, public service vehicles a.k.a. matatus (mat) in Kenya need to be prayed for and has given me enough cause to complain. Now that I am doing my own stuff (remember I am job hunting?) I usually get out of the house a bit later than usual and have to use this means of transport. Now, for the past two days there has been a 'rap revolution' on my route and I am telling you my tolerant reserves are dwindling by the minute.

I enter the mat, so calm, thinking about my stuff then a driver 'thinks' it is 'entertainment' to put rap DVDs for golden oldies like myself and decides to blast it in the highest volume possible! To be honest with you, I have never really listened to rap music, I mean I have heard it-a lot, but for some reason I have never really listened to it!

Now being in a mat that was actually playing the video I got to see Ice Cube (I love his movies) he was singing with Dr. Dre (love him coz he keeps his appearance so simple for a rapper) and I am like heh! I didn't know these two collaborated on a song. Then I realise exactly what they are singing and I just want to die in my seat. I mean do rap songs just have to have dirty language? I never say any dirty words, don't want to hear them (one of the reasons I rarely (actually never) watch black american movies).

' I got into this gangsta sh*t....and this is the mother-effing**' thanks I get,' were the lyrics my dear, Ice 'Are we there yet?' Cube was singing. Eish, I was annoyed!! And there were really old people in the mat. Every other song after that one had the mother-effing phrase. I guess that is the standard international (SI) unit for rap songs. I am telling you I couldn't get to town soon enough.

When I was going back home there was more rap, more lewd, obscene lyrics, dirty videos with Tupac Shakur singing 'You say you are a player, but I effed*** your wife'. Thank goodness the minute I heard that, my bus stop came into view and I couldn't alight fast enough. That was violation enough for one day. Rap when going rap when coming back?!!

Another incidence occured a few weeks back, I was going to work late so I had to catch a mat and this driver thought it was good to play for people reggae early on in the morning. I listen to reggae sometimes but not the stupid type. It will be a cold day in hell before you hear me chanting, 'I am a ganja planter'. Ganja planter is what I call the stupid type. This matatu driver thought it was good for us to hear this stupid type of reggae at 7' O clock in the morning!! I was so pissed. Lucky for me there was a woman who was just miffed about the music as I was and she complained so loudly to have them change it or put it off. The driver was good enough and he put for us an 'Angela Chibalonza' video. It was much better. I am not saying we have to listen to christian/gospel songs but really I don't want to start my day listening to 'oh marijuana' in decibels loud enough to deafen this poor old Mama. Morning is for meditation, not noise!

I mean somebody needs to know how to sample music on our mats for general audiences. Michuki is allowed to help if he can. Seriously, this music, is not stuff I want my mum, grandmother, kids, or just about anyone I know, to be listening to. It is even better we ride in silence, nobody ever died for being in a silent atmosphere for 20 mins.

I don't know about you, but I have a real problem with the music being played nowadays. I miss the 90s RnB music, The 70s and 80s soul, Fadhili Williams, Them Mushrooms, type music which was really good music to listen to....and what's more, had lessons for the listeners.

It is really rare to find me listening to music coz they are not really churning out the good stuff anymore. I try to listen to Bongo flava music every now and again, only becuase they don't have the obscene lyrics Kenyan songs do. Though with all the collabos with Kenyan artistes, bongo is retrogressing (in my opinion). I think Kenyans have this knack for spoiling good things.

Kenyan Music is just a big no for me, remember Nonini's 'Wee Kamu' song? Here are the lyrics, for those who think I hate all things Kenyan. Now, I may not know sheng at all, but I know this man is saying really dirty stuff in this song. I can tell you the video was even worse with a girl stuffing sausages in her mouth!! And I am supposed to watch such things in the mat in the company of people old enough to be my grandpas? grandmas?

The situation is made even worse when you think kids are listening to this kind of stuff. The other day I heard a child singing Amani's 'Tonight I am letting gooooooo, I said tonight, I'll give him all of me' and I was like, does the mother know/understand what the child is singing?

Don't even get me started on some of the pictures and stickers in some mats!! Coz those ones will keep us here till tomorrow.

Have a brilliant weekend people. I leave you with one of my favourite bongo songs, enjoy it! I hate the video (seriously don't get the dressing, the expressions and the bling) but couldn't get an mp3 online for you guys, but the bottom line is, the man can sing! Please listen to it, its really nice.

You can also listen to this other song of his, if you have the time, it's nice as well and thank goodness it is in mp3 format. Unfortunately for me, the artiste has of late been poisoned by Kenyan arrows, he thinks it is more progressive to sing pornographic songs.

By the way, what kind of music do you listen to?

Of Starving Citizens

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:30:00 +0000

And The Helping Dilemma

Long time ago, we used to have people knocking our gates to ask for work. The trend has changed, nowadays people don't ask for work anymore, they knock to ask for food! With tales of how hungry they are, how their children hadn't eaten the whole day and so many other things. I have had so many people coming to knock asking for food, some so persistent, ringing the bell so many times till I get annoyed saying, 'nipatie hata kama ni ndizi moja, I am so hungry'.

Now the reason I feel so bad is because I never come out to open the gate when I talk to them because I don't want to encourage this type of behaviour-strange people camping in our estate and gate waiting for food aid. Many times I tell them to come another time.

The requests for food are not limited to homes though, in the Nairobi City Centre, total (smartly dressed) strangers will stop you to ask you for food, 'their children have not eaten from yesterday' etc, etc. Those City Centre ones are so aggressive, one completely refused to let go of my cousin's hand asking my cousin, rather forcefully 'what she (my cousin) expects her to feed the baby (on her back)?'

Another problem, is the fact that some Kenyans have made it a business to defraud others on the basis of misfortunes such that one does not know how to differentiate, the person who genuinely needs help from one who doesn't! After several exposes in the media of how begging has become a booming trade. Some with manufactured wounds and smelly meats under their clothes to complete the picture, in a bid to confuse pedestrians, I completely stopped giving out alms to those beggars on Nairoi streets.

On this subject of starving Kenyans, I saw this woman somewhere around Yaya Centre a few months back, carrying a kiondo. She was really big (in other words what Africans say, had eaten well). She stopped me and started following me, she had completely refused to let go of me until I told her 'you know I am in college, the only money I have remaining is my bus fare. Then she turned rude and told me she had wasted a lot of time since I was in college.

What I usually do is go to the supermarkets and buy grains and flour and deposit them in their charity boxes. Many supermarkets have this ongoing programme running throughout the year. Churches and even media houses do these sort of collections regularly so I have no qualms taking my donations there.

My big dilemma is that I have no idea exactly when and where these institutions take this charity food. When someone is hungry you can't really tell them to wait a month for Nakumatt to deliver their supplies and before the supplies get to them, people will already be dead! I feel so bad because I may be turning away the genuinely hungry people with my blanket condemnation of 'beggars'!

In other news, animals in Kenya both domestic and wild are faced with starvation like nothing else! We have had media reports of elephants dropping down dead from the severe starvation they are facing in this drought. I saw one last week on the news and it looked like it died with a baby elephant inside it's tummy. Maasai cattle are dropping down dead in their hundreds every day. I feel so bad when I see such things happening especially because animals can't speak for themselves. Can you imagine how hungry an elephant would have to be feeling till it just drops down dead?

We really do need that rain. Try not to waste food, pray for Kenya and this continent as a whole, help out where you can and have a great week.

Wonders Of The World

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 06:30:00 +0000

I was surfing the net last night when I came across this excerpt that had me laughing so loudly inthe middle of the night, I decided it would be a good thing to share. I also realise so many people have reposted the article, but it was too good to pass up, if you have read it, my apologies, if you haven't...enjoy or...not! Here goes:

"The following extracts come in response to an advert in a South African woman's magazine called Femina. All of the extracts are from people whose first (or even second) language is NOT English and who live a very rural existence.

Back in 1985, SA Femina Magazine ran an advertisement for Nelex, a medicine for the treatment of a vaginal infection known as Vaginitis.The ad prompted hundreds of letters from sufferers countrywide, most of them from women who were clearly unsure as to what exactly was wrong with them. The letters were collected by Win Kuppers the boss of the advertising agency that created the Femina article and who swears that every single one of them is genuine.

1. My interesting language is English, so you better send me an English copy of your vaginitis. Please send me the following symptoms: itching, discharge, unpleasant smell.

2. I am one of those with a virginal problem. I will be very grateful if my disease were acceptable.

3. Dear sirs, greetings as patient to you, but I have not got enough time to express my sickness over this paper. I want to come by myself to confess my sickness to you after I use this Nelex. The trouble is my vaginitis and that I'm so ugly.

4. How can I get vaginal infection? Most chemists cannot help.

5. Is vaginitis normal, or does it occur by mistakes like having sex?

6. My husband is not happy with the behavior of my vagina at bedtime. Please send me more information about these vaginal erections.

7. My symptoms are some of the ones you didn't mention, so please send me another medicine.

8. Every boyfriend left me and made another girl pregnant, so maybe you can help me.

9. With modern life of anonymous infection, I have found your vaginal infection very handy and unavoidable. I tried Dettol, Omo (washing powder) and also pure brandy. All in vain.

10. My problem is itching, burning pain after intercourse when the weather is cold or foggy. I am a young lady of 1963. Will you please send me more news about my virginia pains during intercourse, even when I'm not having intercourse at all. I use to have sex eight to ten times a day. Now I am very dry. I went to the hospital and they told me I have too much sex. Maybe I should move to Durban for the humidity.

11. I am a girl of 21 years of edge. Can you help me with virginial infractions.

12. Last night the virginial infections suddenly attacked me. What do you want me to do.

13. Please send me Nelex. I am so sick I will even pay for it. My virginia is wide open, but I only slept with my husband alone, but he says I am a bitch.

14. I slept with many men. Can you close my virginia for me.

15. I really want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant.

16. The first time noticed vaginal infection was in your advert.

17. My vargin is beginning to irritate me. I scream at it sometimes but it doesn't help. Sometimes my anus produces an unpleasant smell. Please send my letter back so I can remember what I have written. Please advertise more so that I can remember that I have an infection.

18. I stopped to have sexual intercourse with my husband, but he hasn't stopped with me. My problem is I feel itching even when my husband romances me with his erection. I never told anyone about my symptoms, now I see them publicly advertised.

19. I am 42 years old, but the infections started when I was much older, and please reply as soon as it is convenient for me.

20. I have pain during sex, and also during intercourse.

21. My virgin is badly leaking. Does Nelex work like a cork?

22. When I was 13 I spray my vagina with Airoma room freshener, now I am 18 and I need your help. Please send any good and large information to suffering vagina.

23. According to symptoms advertised, I have discovered four of them in my promised one. She urges me so help me to help her. My new address (address supplied) but please send your reply to my old address, can I get vaginal infection without prescription.

24. Nelex the effective treatment, is it also effective in Zimbabwe.

25. My husband does not know where I live, so we never have sex. I have never had sex, but I have this virginity problem. The bath water must have infected me, although I swear nobody bathed after me in the same water. I have re-organised my virginia recently.

26. It is easy to know when I have vaginitis, but how do I know when I do not have vaginitis.

27. How are you at that side or Randburg? I hail to you with my wife's vaginal infection from Zimbabwe but I know that some people order the thing without knowing them of seeing in other words they order them for nothing without using them.

28. I am 20 years old and will be 21 sooner than expected. I cannot tell my mother about it: she has no vagina.

29. The last time I looked for my vaginitis, I could not find it anywhere.My vagina was discharged recently.

30. My vagina is deceased.

31. I am a doll of 19 and I want to introduce my itchy vagina to you.

32. I hope you are in a favourable condition for my vaginitis.

33. I have this virginity disease. I hope my letter arrives at tea time so you can study it better. I don't know if the smell really comes from my vagina. My nose cannot reach it properly. But I promise, my body also has some healthy parts.

34. How are you sir? I am very well, but I am also a very sick girl. Thank you for telling us how to avoid burning and itching virgins. I live very far away, and therefore wander if my letter will reach you. I am not an ignorant girl, but how can I be sure.

35. Please rescue my vaginal cavity from attack, sir, and send me this infection quickly. This Nelex it can help me. I will call my first son Nelex. Also my eyes and kids are very itchy. I better stop looking at them.

36. I air my vagina three times a day, much to my husband's regret.

37. At todays price of water, I'd rather use Nelex.

38. I have five of the four symptoms you mentioned. You will find the vaginal infections at the above address.

39. Please send me everything. The Nelex, the vaginal infections, the vaginitis, the reliable relief from symptoms."

Excerpts adopted from Blueworld and Vaginitis.

Have a fabulous weekend people.

When The Cat Is Away....

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:00:00 +0000

'And My Mis-adventures At The Coast'

The other day I was wondering to myself, whether men can really keep vows of fidelity. My experience in the past month has left me really wondering. I am very serious about this issue and really want answers for real.

When I went to the coast, by some reason of fate, none of my friends were going with me. If my friends had come I would have hang out only with them and wouldn't have met anyone new over there. I had actually really planned for a lot 'me-time', I am not a very social person, a loner, as you all know, so I carried books, puzzles, a journal, swimwear, basically for activities I could do on my own.

Suffice it to say I never touched any of those things. I met this lady also by her lonesome, struck a rapport with her and spent most of our time in each other's company. There were loads of activities scheduled after the days' sessions, so the evenings were busy enough for us. My lady friend and I, would take walks in the evenings (those people were over-feeding us loads of food) and we needed to exercise. One such evening, after the session and changing into my walk clothes, I came across this guy who just happened to stay in a room on my block. He looked quite young and so as I was waiting for my friend to get out of her room, he walked over for a bit of a chat and asked for my phone number. I was happy to oblige since I didn't know a lot of people there and promised to see him later on.

When the conference activities ended and we were given a free day on our last day there, we hang out together for a while and he seemed like quite a gentleman , very smart and very funny too. And as I later discovered (from other sources) very rich and very influential too. Unfortunately for him , he thought that despite his marital status, that was enough, to give him a free pass in women's circles. First off, he tried to monopolise my time and drag me to places which I really wasn't interested in, given that I don't really make an effort to 'go out' much less to discos. Add that to the fact that he always had people surrounding and following him like he was some sort of a king (if you ask me, they just wanted to eat his money). The few times we hang out with his 'friends' they just kept asking him to buy them stuff, and he didn't think he was being used at all! Anyway, I digress.

Once we were just sitting about and this friend came over and he made the comment that when his friend had gone there by himself, but seems he had picked himself a girl from somewhere there. We laughed at his friend's 'bad manners' as he walked toward us with the said 'clande' (girl on the side).

I excused myself after a while and said I had a lunch date, so I went to my room but this was not before the said man told me to go hang out with him after lunch. I have to back up here and say, this second day was when I noticed the man was wearing a wedding ring and he looked a lot more older (maybe mid to late thirties) than when I saw him the first time when he asked for my number.

I went out for lunch with a group of ladies and we actually managed to eat lunch for about four hours because we just kept chatting and chatting. The said man came over to say hi, one lady at my table happened to be a colleague of his, he then went on to announce that he was going back to his room and as he put it 'us girls looked like we were going to be there for a long time'.

When I got to my room, I told myself to go for swimming and call the said man coz I was going to be bored anyways, The thing to avoid was to be caught anywhere alone with him. Funny thing is, when I came from lunch the lady who worked with him, walked with me to my block and then we separated when she entered his room. I watched a movie for an hour or so, then put on my swimming attire, then called him to ask whether he wanted to go hang out at the pool. I didn't want to look like I was ignoring him-he had been complaining a lot-and I had just met him!! When I called his room number I first asked whether he was sleeping, he professed he was, so I said sorry, then I walked out with my stuff a few minutes later. It is then that I met my lunch lady acquaintance now coming out of his room, I guess he made up some excuse after the phone call-coz later on he told me he called my room and my cell but there was no answer. Talk about being a man!! Well, I am not one to speculate on what grown ups choose to do in their rooms.

I decided to go frolicking in the pool with some girls I met for a while then I get back to my room and he calls me afterwards to complain that I don't carry around my phone a lot! I thought to myself, people sure do have control issues! He asks me to accompany him to meet some friends of his, I protest but he doesn't look like he wants to give up so I grudgingly agree to go with him. One of his friends happens to be a former classmate of mine whom I hadn't seen throughout the whole time coz he slept throughout the entire thing (conference) then went club hopping every night. We talked about everything and nothing, they were drinking I wasn't so their conversation was a little eh!! Anyway, the theme of their conversation was that those who had gone there with their wives, were having a really 'horrible' time.

Well it was a little late and it was the last night for most of the participants so I wanted to go for dinner so that I could see people for the last time. I showered got dressed, went for dinner, couldn't really see the people I knew, said hi to the few I did, but told myself to eat and go enjoy my room and movies coz I hadn't really stayed in my room at all. It was really boring the last night, I was also trying to avoid the people who were trying to drag me to discos. Then Mr. XYZ comes in with his entourage and they all head on to sit at a far table-I am pleased. They had also made me promise to see them later on after dinner and tag along with them on their club hopping sprees.

So on this last night I strategically choose to sit on this table, with some not so loud people and have my dinner with them. Shock unto me, the man I was sitting with started vibing me....wedding ring very prominently on hand. He starts saying 'you know the most expensive part of the package is the room and for some reason it is the least utilised facility' So foolish Mama here, thinks the man is just making converstaion and I start telling him how true that is and add that 'infact I had just been thinking about that' yada yada yada and 'how I plan to go enjoy my room tonight, watching movies ....'. Then he starts telling me we should go enjoy his room together. So I laugh at my foolishness, coz I thought he was just making converstaion with his 'unutilized room comment'. I say no, my room is much better coz really my hotel was better though smaller. Then he says he has no qualms coming to enjoy my room so long as we do it 'together'. I avoid the issue and turn to watch the ban play. After he's downed a few more pints, he starts up again on the 'room utilisation' nonsense again. Well, I am nice, so I say no politely and in a jocular manner, then he gets like, how can you refuse and your'e such a young member?' 'You know it is unheard of, for a junior member to refuse to 'see' the room of a senior member such as myself'. I tell him I don't want to be called a 'clande' like I had just heard him a few minutes earlier calling the chic who was brought in by that friend of Mr. XYZ. Apparently it was a big issue and that man was the talk of the members. Then he tells me 'no, you can't be a clande, coz you are a professional, you came here as a member so there's a big difference'. Then he goes on, that 'there is a rule, that what is done at the coast, stays at the coast.'

I tell myself, to extricate myself from all this drama and head on to my room. My former classmate comes over as I am leaving and asks where the heck I am going to at 9pm. I tell him, I am going to my room to sleep. He tells me that, that is unheard of at the coast and that I best be making arrangements to go out to 'Shakatak' some disco over there and I tell him I am tired. Then he says you know 'XYZ' wants to see you. My classmate knows I am not really a wild party animal, so I tell him, to have fun and we'll see him the next day.

The next day most people were leaving but I had opted to extend my stay, so I lay in bed a little late and I then got a very early call from Mr. XYZ, saying how I had avoided him the previous night, that he has really missed me (huh!-I thought) and that he would love me to go over to his room to 'hug' him. Yes, that is exactly what that man told me! I was dumbfounded. I told him I am actually on my way to breakfast and then told myself to stay clear from him.

I went and walked on the ocean by myself (remember I love my own company). Then beachboys came to ask me if I wanted to accompany them to see some fish and octopus (octopii?) I don't know where, I refused. I am generally not good with strangers, especially dodgy looking ones. Then one starts asking me who I came with and where my friends are then tells me, 'Sister, wapendeza' 'Do you want a white man?' ' You can easily get a white man with those clothes you are wearing'. Then I say 'I don't want a white man'. He counters 'You don't want to be rich?' I say I am already rich, I don't need a white man to make me wealthy'. He shakes his head and starts telling me, one cannot have enough money and that white men are good.

I get annoyed by their incessant talk and start walking back to my hotel, another beach boy (they are men, why not call them beach men?) comes to tell me to go with him. The watchman comes and tells me not to wander too far off from the hotel's part of the beach especially since I am carrying a bag. The beach boys overhear him telling me and they start yelling at him and telling him he will be sacked from his job. That white people aren't robbed and that no one was going to rob me.

So I decided to go to the pool and just sit there. After a few minutes, I get out of the pool and head on to my lounger and start sunning myself. Then I realise this was my last day here and start taking pictures of the place as I sleep there. This nice white gentleman swims over, when he sees me taking pictures of the surroundings so he offers to take one of me as well, I happily oblige and he snaps one. I thank him but he doesn't move away, so we start chatting. We mostly talk about work he tells me what he does asks about my job. We talk about corruption in this country, the inefficiency of our public officials, the government (stuff I basically love talking about). We talk about Kenyan athletes and Caster Semenya. He tells me he is from England so we talk about that a little and I tell him I haven't been to his town. He tells me he has lived in Kenya for over 20 years and that he likes it here that he goes back home only once a year. We talk about travel some more. He says' he'd really want to see New York. Then he opens up and ells me he is in the middle of divorce proceedings. The sun was getting really hot and uncomfortable, so we got some drinks and quenched our thirst. Then he invited me to go with him to some place around that place to watch athletics and football. I told him I'm not really a fan of football and that I'd like to just laze around seeing as that was my last day there. It was not lost to me how everyone was staring at us like 'I had bagged myself a mzungu' not that I cared. Anyway, he left to go change, the waitress who was serving us drinks came but a minute later to ask me whether we were together coz he had left and hadn't paid for his water. I said we weren't together and told her he had probably gone to change. I stayed on there for a little while and then when I was leaving, I went to pay for my juice only for the waitresses to tell me my friend had paid my bill and disappeared!! He didn't even let me say thanks.

In the evening I had my dinner and then walked about the hotel, talking to the staff taking pictures and what not then met Mr. XYZ. We talked for a little while and he was like I have been avoiding him (which I was) he started asking me questions I was like really I have no business with married men. So he started probing me and asking me why that was a problem for me and went further to 'advice' me that even if people are married, it 'shouldn't matter' that 'I should find my place in that equation and be comfortable in my place'. I was quite shocked that people take marriage so lightly and in my shock I heard him say something about feeling me up then he just invaded my private space and started groping me!! No one ever groped me in my life!! And to think people have the view that young single men are bad, seems the married ones are even worse! It took me about one minute to end all conversation, gather my bag and to reach my room.

Then I thought to myself, his wife must be somewhere thinking just how great and what a catch her husband was, what a good provider he was. If only she knew here he was, desecrating their vows.

I can't imagine this is what marriage for Kenyan men is about....(I am still youngish and impressionable. I know not all men are like that, but honestly I had seen more than enough for one weekend! Are men naturally pre-disposed to cheat when the wives are away? Why get married in the first place if you cannot be faithful? Maybe you guys out there can help me understand what really goes through your minds? Coz I am not even going to pretend I understand.

And now I understand why women prefer white men, not that they are any better. But given the differences between my encounters with the two married 'black' men and the 'white' guy at the pool, it's easy to see why.

Have You Seen The Census Website?

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Seriously, if the Kenyan Census website is anything to go by, it would really be a wonder for Kenyans to expect anything better than we are currently experiencing from these lot of people!

Someone actually sat down and 'designed' that 'website' and got paid (what I am sure was a great amount of money) for it. Hehehehehehe...let me just leave it at that. Again for your viewing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen check out the Census website once more, don't say you missed it.

Hello, Hello!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:30:00 +0000

I fell in love with these chairs' design......so as usual....I shared.

How are you people? If you live in Kenya, have you been counted? I was!! The only reason I was 'privileged' to be counted was because I was travelling at that moment, otherwise people in my neighbourhood have not been counted...wonder what all that hullabaloo was about!

It is my considered opinion that this Census thingy should be abolished! It does not add ugali on anyone's plate but the enumerators......and I have even heard them demanding more money!! Kenya is a real man eat cash society. I also hear IDPs have refused to be counted, unless they are compensated. Anyway, there is just no way people are going to open their doors in this day and age of kidnappings, for some weirdoes who want to count you, and for what? The thing is not even standardised, some people are being asked about their problems, the electronic gadgets they have in their houses and a whole load of things. I was only asked my name, age, and tribe, that was all, then they gave me a green card thingy for being enumerated in transit.

So I came back today from the Coast (which wasn't uncomfortably hot...yay!!) and am really hating the extreme cold weather in Nairobi. The funny thing is that, what I enjoyed the most in the beautiful coastal region, was the amount of showers I used to take per day!! Man! This story of Nairobians showering with basins doesn't augur well with me at all! Showering is one of my hobbies if you didn't know. I would take up to five showers in a day at the coast and let me not get started on the amount of water I enjoyed in pools!! I can't believe that a time would ever come where I would just celebrate Mombasa for the amount of water present......things have really changed...I must be growing super old.

In other matters, I have also been seriously thinking of adopting a monkey...but that is a story for another day. Monkeys are just too adorable!! I can tell you half the pics from this trip are of monkeys...I told you I need prayers where animals are concerned!

I have come back with loads of tales for you. I learnt a lot of stuff I tell you, but I am really tired and from tomorrow I will officially be without a job! I need to get back to reality and start searching the classifieds. At the moment I am of course missing the food and all the lazing around.

Will be catching up with you all, very soon. Till then...take care....be counted if you care for such things and God bless!!

Live Life To The Fullest!

noreply@blogger.com (Mama) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:45:00 +0000

This dog is.......

I love dogs a lot-I told you didn't I? I couldn't resist just publishing this picture here for no reason at all other than the fact that I wanted to, it is my blog after-all :-). I am sure if I met this dog in real life the owner would have a hard time trying to choose between prying it from my hands and pressing dog-napping charges.

Anyway, dogs are not the subject of this post, life is. You know I am notorious for publishing contents of my inbox on my blog. The other day someone sent me this nice email and I thought to myself...how true this is...so as usual I am going to share and please try to follow the advice, it's for your own good!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's ok to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it wont screw up the present.
12. It's ok to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But dont worry, God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occassion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, 'in five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative....dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift!!!

I have highlighted most of my favourites. I hope you have a good week ahead, and please live your lives fully this week, I know I will. Life's too short anyway to be miserable.

Be good people, till we meet again!

Ciao.