2. I just got married last December. My husband and I have been a couple for more than five years.

3. I own both a Roomba and a Dyson.

4. I have a nasty dust allergy. (See above.)

5. I suffer from chronic idopathic urticaria. This is not simply the mild discomfort of “being itchy.” Some days I actually can’t walk. Most days, however, I manage pretty well.

6. I am allergic to all types of corn syrup, not just high fructose. This is one of many reasons my head explodes when the corn syrup lobby claims that their product is “virtually the same” as sugar. My body disagrees.

7. Dr. Pepper is still my favorite soda.

8. I try to only drink pop once a year, when Pepsi releases its throwback brands.

9. My city, Minneapolis, has an art scene second only to New York City’s. It’s  art critics that say this, not me.

10. I publish occult nonfiction usually annually.

11. I am looking for interesting copywriting or blogging work I can do.

12. I prefer Twitter to Facebook. I know many of you may not understand that; I’ll try to explain in another post.

13. I used to find photography expensive and lame, but I’ve gotten so addicted to it that I feel weird when I go out without my camera now.

14. I own a Droid that I named R2D2.

15. I run a blog on plus size fashion.

16. My favorite band right now is Vampire Weekend.

17. My life is nothing like how I expected it to turn out. While I didn’t get everything I wanted, when I step back and look at the big picture I can see how what I do have is actually much better than what my family or I would have given myself.

18. Many people say they find me hilarious and wish I’d do a stand-up routine. One of the reasons I do not is that the things I say that get the biggest laughs are usually said in dead seriousness.

19. I am a feminist. I am not a radical feminist, or a mysandrist. I am troubled by the idea that there should be anything “radical” about feminism, just as much as I’m troubled by women who do not identify as feminist. It’s unhealthy to work against your best interests: isn’t the value of reality shows so we can see how people screw themselves over daily?

20. My husband also identifies as a feminist, although he suffers from feminist guilt a lot more than I do. I am also troubled by the combination of “feminist” and “guilt.” Seems counter to the entire point.

21. I am writing a book about Divorce and Wicca right now. This is awkward, considering that I am a newlywed.

22. I once had a dog named Chewbakka.

23. I would like to own two dogs: a Jack Russel named Laszlo and a Corgie named Satellite. Both names are Doctor Who references.

24. I have never made it past the first paragraph of a Danielle Steele novel. I worked in a bookstore when Everyone Loves Danielle Steele came out. Patrons expected me to concur. It got awkward. I can find no record of said book now, so I can’t be the only one.

25.  I still pick up perfumes that I wore as a child. I don’t wear them, I just smell them. Muguet, for my first big crush. Jontue when I made the honor roll. Love’s Baby Soft Jasmine and Jasmine Musk when I missed my sister while she was out of the country. I will never imitate them, and what I make smells nothing like them. But they are all distinct, different from today’s common fragrances.

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Are they rip-offs? Are they helpful? Are they just conglomerations of things any diligent seller could find researching Etsy forums and maybe visiting a public library?

Maybe. There’s been some controversy among the pdf-makers themselves as to “who the real deal is” and as to each others’ motivations. Notably there’s also been some off-Etsy calling out about the legitimacy of these enterprises. As far as I can tell from buying and reading these books for the most part, the information is quite different from guide to guide and often very different from what Etsy itself tells its sellers. These books are actually handmade in that the authors do make them and do the work themselves: as the author of  my own pdf book available on Etsy (on a totally different topic) I’m satisified that it does take quite a bit of work to assemble these jobbies.

To date I’ve only read over the files that I purchased, but have yet to actively apply the recommendations of these books. I have a long-term plan, and Etsy is not exactly at the core of it: when I started Etsy I was trying to make it my full-time job, and now I’m in a more zen sort of place. First of all, I’m working for me, not Etsy, and second, I’ve got a writing career I’d like to actually start having. So while I had expected by now to have applied all the mastery claimed within, I haven’t.

At the time I was buying them, I was suffering the frustration of a lot of sellers: why aren’t I getting recognition? As far as Etsy goes, I’m still not, exactly. But that’s not all a bad thing. The audience I have is a quality audience – regular purchases, reasonable expectations about how perfume works and why I can’t guarantee it will smell good on or to everyone, and while I’m not proclaimed as the trend of the month and am unlikely to ever see the front page again¹ I am able to strike a reasonable balance between my writing, my perfuming and my pursuit of the Artist’s Way.

The key to all of these guides, Etsy’s free seller handbook included, is attention. All those business tips revolve around simply letting people know you’re out there, and different ways to do it.

That’s it. That’s the secret in ALL OF THEM. Each guide has different techniques on how to do so, how to be memorable, etc. but that’s the basic jist for selling more: it’s all about the eyeballs baby. They don’t cover accounting, or supplier sourcing or craft technique: they just talk marketing insofar as marketing can be tailored within Etsy’s system. While one or two sellers propose tactics that are “Etsy illegal” or have licensing on their pdfs that are not realistic² for the most part the efforts are sincere attempts to guide interested buyers through the ins and outs of Etsy without taking up forum space. Yes, nearly all the advice might be gleaned from reading forums³ or even from spending an afternoon or two at your local library. But the files, for the most part, aren’t rip-offs. Whether or not the advice works – and I’ve let mine sit long enough that much of it might well not work anymore – it is written in a well-meant spirit. And that counts for a lot.

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1. I was front paged three times – once was a no-royalty stock photo, one was melt and pour soap I made to get rid of some synthetic jasmine and once was during a trunk show; I have not seen the front page since 2007
2. I’ve been doing some serious thinking about reframing my own views of copyright and collaboration
3. a painful enterprise for me, I’ve had one day in the past year where I’ve found anything enjoyable about reading the forums at all

One of my running projects this year is to get comfortable shooting video. Right now I’m just running around, shooting spontaneous video of soothing images I encounter in real life. But I’m storyboarding, kind of, kicking ideas around with friends. Some of it might be funny, a lot of it, just for fun. I thought a few of you might be able to use this as a sort of mini stress-relief during the day: a few moments of roaring fire, to cool both heels and brains.

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I am asked almost weekly to create a reproduction of a fragrance. I hate this – hate hate hate it – with a burning passion. Asking me to do imitations denies me of a creative outlet, and frustrates me because it tells me that some perfume fans aren’t willing to adapt and change as perfumes change. This is why 90% of department store perfumes smell almost exactly the same.  People get stuck on one perfume, get trapped in one aesthetic, and suddenly perfectly lovely notes like violet, rose and musk become the grandma du jour. Chanel No. 5 is awful just due to overuse.¹  There are even sellers on Etsy and Ebay who make their living off the imitations market, buying fragrance oil pre-mixes and just dumping them in a base. You can only do it by hand, so technically, it’s handmade, and while I’m loathe to point people to those sellers I’ve been sorely tempted to do so more than once.

So while I’m gratified by Harper’s “fakes stink” ad as perhaps it’s persuaded a few people not to contact me with custom requests I’ll do everything I can to get out of, I feel obligated in the name of integrity to point out that imitating perfumes is not actually illegal. The reason perfumers aren’t required by the FDA to disclose their ingredients² is because no recipe may be copyrighted. You can trademark names – up to a point – but the actual fragrance? Nope. Can’t do it.

As to the claims in the ad about ingredients… I’d like to know how they got their information. Chemical companies that make fragrance oils aren’t required to disclose how they make them. It’s possible urine or other stuff is in them. It’s possible, and more likely, that’s just good old petroleum. Although aldehydes were originally distilled from urine. The fact is, we don’t know what’s in them. Despite an incident where I was accused of claiming that synthetic materials were composed of urine, I don’t know this and I never said I did know this for a fact – but research into the history of aldehydes raises its presence as a real possibility.  Harper’s doesn’t know this for a fact either. Only the European, Chinese and US plants that make these fragrance oils know what’s in them. Whether or not it’s an imitation or the Real Perfume, chances are they’re using the same or similar chemicals – so if there’s urine or other grossness in the fake, there’s the same grossness in the real thing, too.

Knock-offs are part and parcel of the fashion industry, and expecting everyone to buy couture is just ridiculous. Especially since couture is ridiculous.

And I will say that I don’t ever like being asked to do a reproduction – but I will do them if and only if the perfume can no longer be found anywhere on the market, and I can be provided a sample. But I’ll still grumble about it. I’ll keep an eye out for perfumers that do imitations; having a quality referral list would probably do us all a favor.

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1. I appreciate synthetics, but I won’t use them unless I got them by accident. And I label those with “I dunno what’s really in it either.” Besides, I have an alarming tendency to break out in hives when I use anything with synthetics in it too often, or even am forced to smell too many of such things.
2. I have chosen to act counter to the industry and practice full ingredient disclosure as at my business’s size and tendency to gross $400 a year if I’m lucky, there’s no real incentive to imitate me

So welcome to my sandbox. Be excellent to each other. Let’s play.

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For those interested in the Oh So Very Perfume spray, it may be a good idea to contact me privately before ordering. Because it contains denatured alcohol I have to ship it by UPS, which always starts at $10. While I can ship it internationally via UPS, it would likely be prohibitively expensive so I’m reserving the scent for US customers only.* Your best bet may be to set up a custom order with me and add other items to that shipment to get the best value considering the expense of shipping.

You may or may not see a lot of new stuff from me in 2010; I’m focusing on my writing career, and while I will keep my Etsy shop open and always give my clients the best service I can, there’s just stuff I gotta write. I’m also growing a lot of catnip, as it’s my goal to get cats hooked on drugs. My first batch sprouted today. You’ll see more in 3-5 months.

*I have some perfume solids coming that ship internationally very easily. Hopefully this will make up the unavailability of the perfume spray.

Happy New Year, and all the best in 2010!

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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!

I use this book as an example of what’s possible in a land free of trademarks, and where copyright has expired. Jane Austen is an odd phenomenon, wherein the 19th century and the Internet meet – and since Ms. Austen is long past such earthly concerns as royalties, others enjoy – and sometimes profit – from her legacy in the form of books like the above, or movies like Clueless and Bride and Prejudice. For fans of things more recent than Jane Austen, there are two legal roadblocks to issuing forth the products of our creative urges based on someone else’s creative urge: trademark, and the very distinct from trademark – copyright. There is also a third factor involved: intent. Whether or not you come from a pure place may not matter in the eyes of the law, but it may well matter to the thinking fellow fans that might also partake in your work.

Trademark is a tricky thing, especially when it runs into another tricky thing: fandom. For instance, I’m a Doctor Who fan. I’m an American Doctor Who fan. Funny thing about British nerds: because as a rule they’re better dressed than us US folks, they’re not too likely to have T-shirts. So what’s an all-American Doctor Who fan to do? DIY baby – that’s how we come up with stuff like T-shirts with oblique references to Weeping Angels and Bad Wolf perfume. Now BBC knows a cash cow when it has one, and if fans use the Doctor Who logo or affiliate these goodies without licensing, we are violating their international trademark. BBC gives us awesome, and they do deserve their cut. However, licensing agreements are prohibitively expensive and fans get a thrill off of passing encoded messages to each other – so instead of co-opting David Tenant’s face (or even his Converses) we instead go for turns and phrases that are recognizable to other fans as references to the show but do not adopt any image licensed and trademarked by the BBC. Thus “Weeping Angel” shirts (or even one that just says “Blink”) and Bad Wolf perfume – it is absolutely inspired by Doctor Who, but uses no image from the show in its marketing and sale.

Trademark is especially tricky in the land of perfume inspiration. Perfume names may be trademarked, but book titles may NOT be copyrighted. So if I wanted to write a book titled “Doctor Who” and used my own logo/image and it was NOT about a time traveling doctor, but about say a mystery OBGYN, BBC might try to do something but likely the lawsuit would be dismissed as frivolous. (And really, it would be a tragically stupid marketing idea so we’d all get what we deserved on that one.) Perfume recipes, like alll bath, body and food recipes can NOT be copyrighted – we have no protection for our formulas. I can make tomato sauce from a Betty Crocker cookbook and sell it as my own – the Crocker company would have no right to a cut unless I used the name Betty Crocker in the marketing. The same can happen with perfume – leaving trademark as our only, and very limited protection. It’s a delicate dance – drawing from the things we love that are also living. It’s one thing to make a perfume based on Edgar Allen Poe, but if you’re a fan of something more current – like Hello Kitty – it’s a very different situation. To refer to is fine, but to co-opt is definitely not.

Every so often you’ll see a flair-up on Etsy – there are sellers whose entire bread and butter comes from essentially trademark violation. Whether you choose to look the other way or not is up to you; I personally prefer to do a sidestep – or to look carefully at where the creation came from. If it’s “Oh, well I’ll make this because Hello Kitty is popular,” I tend to respect it far less than a place of “Because Daria is awesome.” There needs to be respect for the original creators, but also for the fans – especially in cases where fan goodies are not something readily provided by the original source.

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I suspect that a good chunk of perfume collectors are chasing a fantasy as much as they are a smell, and yes, a good chunk of that fantasy falls in the sex category.

And a lot of scents I just don’t use or don’t care to use fall under that sexual-association header: musk, which in natural form is illegal and nasty; florals which are in my opinion used to great effect and sometimes overused in many perfume houses both mainstream and niche; berry based fruits, which while not impossible to get naturally are also starting to verge on the trendy and overused.

I get frequent requests for sexy, sexy, sexy and while I understand the popularity, it’s not really what I do. Perhaps it’s due to a quirk of my personality: I actually can not be physically attracted to a person until I find him/her intellectually attractive. You can put a shirtless bohunk in front of me and I’ll be dead from the waist down until he starts talking to me about practical jokes he’s played using principles learned while getting his masters in physics.¹ So, as a perfume artist, only a few of my fragrances explore the pure physical sexuality that mainstream houses constantly pursue.

What I do is more of an intellectual exercise, or maybe an emotional exercise. However you cut it, on some level it’s basically play of an almost childlike variety. This is in part because I started out not as a “magical perfumer” but as a “ritual oil” creator. My quick grasp of occult correspondences helped me product oils with specific purposes that were easily lined up and charged up. The advantage of ritual oil design is that you are under no obligation to make them smell good. I did find, however, things did tend to sell better if I at least tried to make the fragrance attractive, and pretty soon my clients from Medea’s Chariot were admitting to me that they were buying my purpose oils just to use as recreational perfume. Given that I sold to the goth and magical market, I was kind of floored. However, when I shut down for awhile I began to mix perfumes privately with aesthetics and intention in mind.

Sex and Politics is interesting in this discussion, because it is possibly the only perfume I currently sell created with mainstream perfume conventions in mind, and it was actually created as a bridge of aesthetics and magical purpose. I made it initially because of some very silly college-kid drama going on in a group I had been involved with; even though it captures the very essence of spice and intrigue, it’s actually about taking that crap and getting people to calm down. As the scent evaporates, so does the crazy (at least that’s what I intended.)  I figured it would work best if the evaporation of the scent also happened to be a very pleasant experience. While I can’t say I cured the crazy – magic can never go against someone’s nature, just be incorporated into it – it did seem for a little while that the crazy relocated.

I bring this up because I feel like there’s so much more in the olfactory and aesthetic world than sex, and while sex does need more and different discussion from what is typical,² in perfumeland it seems like it’s the only discussion. It’s not even really subtext, it’s just text, and any other aesthetic possibility gets almost unfairly consigned to aromatherapy. I’ve started a discussion on my Facebook fan page to encourage further discussion of this, and comments here are always also welcome.

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1. I did ultimately marry a roboticist.
2. I am actually writing my own manual to 21st century sex, hopefully along with a good friend