Madness Combat

Xombie Rises

Simon — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 21:08:59 +0000

I know a few of you watched Xombie as well, so wanted to let you know that they are running a Kickstarter campaign to get Season 2 going, please support it if you can.

New Animation Picture

Simon — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 20:41:06 +0000

Also, MadnessWiki is back up and running; I’m still working on getting all the pages imported by join us if you have a few moments.

Madness Combat 10

Simon — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 22:29:39 +0000

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Madness Combat 6.5

Simon — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 20:19:20 +0000

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Madness Combat 5.5

Simon — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:20:23 +0000

Its out watch it now!

Losing the Girl

Simon — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:52:42 +0000

Just because a girl leaves the bar with you, doesn’t mean you’re getting any. There are all kinds of ways you lose the girl, as my friend Lee found out one night. Lee has picked up a cute and clearly inebriated red head from a local pub. Not that Lee is all that sober himself, mind you. The whole walk back to his apartment she is holding on to him to keep her balance. Of course really this is just a flimsy pretense for her to feel him up, and for him to do the same. With tension rising from their hands being all over each other, he barely gets her back to his apartment building before they start making out. They end up slopping saliva up against a wall in his apartment’s lobby, while they wait for the elevator. The elevator arrives and the red head breaks their embrace and immediately stumbles in. At that exact moment, Lee gets a call from a buddy still at the bar. Lee answers the call, and he does what he always does when he gets a call, he turns away from the person he’s with so he can talk “in private”. I’d like to think that if he were sober he would’ve got on the elevator first. As the elevator doors start closing, Lee clues in, but he’s a second too late. The doors close, and the elevator leaves with the cute inebriated, oblivious red head. Of course the natural thing to expect in this situation would be for the girl to eventually return to the lobby to get Lee—only, that doesn’t happen. Lee stands there for 30 minutes calling elevators back to the lobby but the red head is not in any of them. She never returns to the lobby, and he never told her his apartment number. Lee never sees the girl again. That night, Lee doesn’t get laid because he physically lost the girl.

The Team Effort

Simon — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:34:15 +0000

In high school two of my hockey playing friends had two groupies who watched all their games. One of the girls was hot, the other was not. They talked with the girls after the games, and got to know them a bit. One night they offered the girls a ride home. My friend in the front seat was flirting with the hot girl. In the back seat, my other friend was staring out the window, avoiding talking to the not girl. Then, out of nowhere the not girl says, “I’m hungry.” She then undoes my friend’s pants and starts giving him head. My friend in the front seat watches the frightened look on the face of my friend in the backseat in the rear view mirror. However, instead of helping him, he simply turns up the music to mask the slurping sounds from the backseat. He told me later that, “That’s what taking one for the team is all about.” A few days later he scored with the hot girl.

by JD.

Buttons!!!!

Simon — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:05:59 +0000

They are made and ready to ship to your house, already quite a few have gone out. Enter your address below.

Sloppy Firsts

Simon — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:33:29 +0000

My friend and his cousins meet weird girls. One night, his cousins meet this girl at a party that they offer a ride home. When they show her to my friend, he stops dead in his tracks, and all he can say is: “Yo, this girl is rank…” She’s clearly drunk, her clothes are half falling off, she smells awful, and she’s coughing. “You boys want me to suck your dicks…?” she says in a raspy, slurred voice. My friend stares at her with a blank face. Then he turns to his cousins, “Put her in the car.” They rush her back to her house and, cigarette in hand, she stumbles upstairs to ‘get ready’. She tells them to come up, and I quote, “in any order you boys want to fuck in.” My friend and his cousins proceed to debate who should get first crack at… her crack. His pushy cousin ends up declaring that he gets to be first, and rushes upstairs before giving anyone a chance to debate him. They all shake their heads, and turn on the TV in the living room, to cover up the soon to ensue sounds of intercourse. About fifteen minutes in, his youngest cousin starts digging through the skanky girl’s purse. He finds a tube of medication: for the treatment of herpes. “What’s that?” his youngest cousin asks. They all pause, and listen to the humping in the next room. “Yo, should we tell him?” one of the cousins asks. My friend shakes his head. “It’s too late for him.” He grabs the keys and they all rush for the car. “We can’t just leave him here!” the youngest cousin shouts. “Believe me,” my friend says, as he starts the car, “not having a ride is going to be the least of his problems.” They bail.

by JD.

The Empties

Simon — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:32:41 +0000

The prize for worst story about an empty beer bottle goes to my friend Mia. She and her boyfriend threw a raging party one evening. Eventually, people Mia didn’t know, friends of friends, start showing up. Among them, is a slutty redhead. This girl was loud, obnoxious, and horny. She makes out with three guys and deep throats a beer on a dare. At the end of the night, some people are sleeping over, the redhead is among them. Mia gathers some blankets to take down to everyone and when she opens the door to the basement living room she sees the redhead, naked, on all fours, with an empty shoved up her ass. She’s fellating one guy, while three other naked guys stand around her. Mia makes people take their empties home now when she throws a party.

by JD.