Made You Stare

Evolution Dance Party, Just Grows and Grows!

Stewie — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:20:15 +0000

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We’ve all been there, or if we haven’t we’ve all seen it: the lone dancer who’s overindulged too early in the day and started dancing on his own, oblivious to the fact the he isn’t part of something bigger and better. But this clip has a happy ending because that lone dancer attracts a whole bunch of others to join him and turn an awkward bit of solo pleasure into a full-scale party. In only a pair of shorts, the lone dancer makes some oddly camp moves at first, thrusting his hands up in the air as if he is in a girl band. He then looks overjoyed to be joined by someone else in a green top whom he immediately starts dancing with. Green top seems as out of it as lone dancer because he looks a bit on the wobbly side and spends a bit of time on his hands and knees but that doesn’t matter – there are more guests on their way to this impromptu party and things are gonna get funky. At around the 1 minute 20 mark the party has gone viral with 9 then 10 then 11 then 12 then tons more ravers gettin’ on down to it. This is where the clip becomes quite remarkable and things get rather exciting – you wouldn’t have thought there’d be enough people interested in joining in but there really are. The lone dancer should feel proud of himself for starting something special. Maybe he’s a seasoned rabble-rouser who specializes in generating large crowds for various purposes: political rallies, street parties, etc etc. Maybe – and this is the more likely explanation – he was just out of his tree at this fun-looking festival and other kindred spirits thought, ‘Yeah sure why not – he is so I might as well be’. It’s always hard to be the first, to be a trailblazer, a pioneer. But that lone dancer is one and his fine work has made for an awesome and funny clip that people will want to watch over and over.

Crazy iPhone Blender Destruction!

Stewie — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:50:18 +0000

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Are you ready for a bit of senseless anarchy? Ever been curious to know what exactly happens when you introduce a brand new iPhone to a high-speed blender? Then check this funny clip out. The tagline is that the iPhone can do so much but will it blend? The white-coated boffin in charge of the experiment is called Tom Dickson and he takes out the iPhone, puts it into the blender and presses the smoothie button. As you’d expect, the little gadget is completely destroyed as a subtitle reading ‘Don’t try this at home’ appears. We are treated to a close-up action replay during which we see every tiny piece of the broken iPhone get churned up into even tinier pieces, it’s screen shimmying off, its buttons all spraying against the blender’s walls. This process goes on and on until the destroyed cellphone is ground down into a very fine black powder. When Tom lifts the lid off the blender, nasty acrid smoke leaks from out the top of it and Tom declares that we shouldn’t breathe this in. No shit Sherlock. He then puts the black powder into a smart-looking bowl as if he’s going to serve it at a dinner party. The answer at the end of the clip is,as you would expect, ‘Yes it blends!’ No one has suggested that this might be a total waste of time and money probably because it’s so damn funny to watch. Apparently this clip was made in response to a strong demand from YouTube viewers for such an experiment to be filmed. This might make you think that there are some pretty weird people out there with peculiar notions about entertainment, or maybe there are just plenty of people who hate Apple and want to see broken iPhones at the click of a mouse. Who honestly knows why? Who cares? What else does this Tom Dickson dude get up to in his spare time? Slow-cooking laptops in microwaves? Feeding PSPs into industrial shredders? Baking webcams in breadmakers? I bet he has a lot of friends.

German Kid Loses It With His Computer Game

Ross — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:39:07 +0000

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Someone should have told the poor kid in this clip that Unreal Tournament is just a game and that you shouldn’t try to replicate what happens in it in your own bedroom. This is 4 and a half minutes of wailing, smashing, desk-sweeping, computer-assaulting and general all-round frustration which would be tragic if it wasn’t so goddamn funny. The root of this tetchy German kid’s annoyance is the fact that his game won’t load fast enough – what a terrible thing! It’s not like he’s going hungry or sleeping rough or anything like that. The camera angle in this sequence is great: we get to see this kid up close and personal as his face gets redder and he starts to say and do more and more hilarious stuff. The funniest thing has to be his curious demand that the computer should ‘eat its melted shit’. It takes quite a lot of imagination to work out how precisely that would happen but never mind. The English subtitles translating this German kid’s poisonous words are very helpful and we get a real glimpse into the sheer range of colorful Teutonic swear words that exist. It must be the case that this kid will grow up to be one of those anger-fuelled old men with permanently sour faces who rant about everything from the weather to their granddaughter’s boyfriend to the sports results. Even when this kid gets the computer game working he doesn’t cool down, breathlessly, almost worriedly asking ‘Which son of a bitch is shooting at me?” before losing the game at the very last minute of the clip and wailing like a banshee who’s just seen his entire family killed in a freak accident. He moves gear up into a horrible Mike Patton-style squeal and begins beating the £$*& out of his keyboard against the desk, its buttons flying every which way. Where are his parents while all this is going on? Somehow the kid’s announcement that ‘I don’t want to wait I want to play!’ at the 1 minute mark seems to sum up his whole generation.

T-Mobile Spectacular Mass Dance-Off at a Major Train Station

Lou — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:32:58 +0000

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Nowadays everyone is too businesslike, always in a rush, no time for fun. Places like train stations are associated with boredom and stress but this advert by T-Mobile turns that on its head as we see maybe a hundred people dancing to a succession of classic songs, among them ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’ by Rainbow, ‘Shout’ by Lulu, and ‘Don’t Cha’ by the Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes. The humor in this sequence lies in the fact that the last thing you expect while boring yourself rigid at a train station is a bunch of wannabe Michael Jacksons taking to the stage and showing off their funky dancing. The real surprise here is the way the dancers are totally synchronized with each other, bowing and jiggling and pirouetting at exactly the same time, as if this whole thing had been painstakingly rehearsed. There’s a bit of smoke and mirrors here because all the dancers are dressed as if they are the usual commuters – in suits and ties or hoodies or overcoats – but it’s clear enough they are trained pros as soon as they start shaking their booties. They subtly adapt their dancing styles to each genre of music as it arrives on the P.A., so they are happily waltzing along to Mozart one second and then disco dancing to ‘Get Down On It’ by Kool and the Gang the next. The tagline of the commercial is ‘Life is for sharing’ and this is backed up by the shots, about halfway through, of other commuters filming the whole event on their camera phones or grinningly phoning their friends about what they have just seen. Oh isn’t commercial-world so much more cheesy than the real world? But then this clip kind of mixes the two because you can see the shock on the faces of real commuters when all this staged funky dancing kicks off and a sort of publicity stunt has been pulled. Perhaps this would have been funnier had completely untrained dancers been employed to do their thang, being all clumsy and making total jackasses of themselves. Just a suggestion for a sequel, that’s all.

Little Panda Sneeze Shocks Big Panda

Lisa — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:02:48 +0000

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Who’d have thought that a harmless little panda could be so loud and scary when he sneezes? The real shock of this clip is the sheer force of the way the panda sneezes, how such a tiny wee feller can scare the living daylights out of what appears to be his mom who is sat there nursing him just as a good mom should. For a good ten seconds this little panda is sat in his mom’s lap chilling out on a carpet of straw, until he gets a touch of the old hay fever and makes a noise like a Rottweiler catching its nuts in a mousetrap. This shocks big panda mom who promptly recoils backwards, kicking her limbs up in the air. Crazy or what? What the hell did they put in that straw to make such immense panda sneezes possible? By the look of the bars in the background this sequence must have taken place in a zoo or some other place of captivity, so maybe little panda was making some ‘dirty protest’, trying to brew up enough snot to muck the cell up and send out a message of disgust about the conditions to the zookeeper. I wonder if after all this both little panda and big panda got bumped up into a penthouse suite with a silk carpet instead of straw, gold-framed windows instead of bars and caviar to eat instead of bamboo.

In China you can get the death penalty for 68 different crimes, amongst them murder, drugs trafficking and fraud, and they don’t mess about with years on death row, they take you out into the countryside shortly after you are sentenced, put a bullet in your head and, in the not so recent past, would have charged your family for the cost of it. Nice. But did you know that you could get executed in China for killing a panda? Well good luck to anyone who wants to take on this diminutive terror with the killer sneeze. If he can create this much havoc with a sneeze who knows what would happen if he, say, swung a paw or went for a bite? Potential poachers beware!

The Most Hilarious Sports, Animals and Celeb Bloopers

Stewie — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:33:00 +0000

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If you’re looking for a real selection pack of funny bloopers then you’ll surely love this link. Consisting mostly of stills, feast your eyes on almost four minutes of mess-ups and weird images from the sporting world, the animal kingdom and celebrity culture. There’s a kinda theme going on with a whole bunch of crazy sportspeople who appear to be touching each other up: soccer players standing in a wall before a free kick with their hands on each others’ asses, ice skaters touching each other in the same region and wrestlers pulling at revealing parts of their leotards. This really is sportspeople behaving badly! There are also some provocative slogans on display such as a woman wearing a vest saying ‘Stop staring at my tits! (Touch them)’, the sentence ‘If only my wife was this dirty’ written in the dust gathered on a car boot and a roadsign reading ‘Please drive carefully. We have two cemeteries, no hospital.’ Other crazy sportspeople in this clip include a figure skater who looks like he has just punched out his dance partner and a pro wrestler in mid-air about to jump onto a plastic cow. It really makes you wonder what the point of rules are in sport if all the sportspeople are getting up to so much bad craziness. This thought becomes even more powerful when up comes a funny blooper of a soccer referee casually flipping the bird to the players around him. He just doesn’t care anymore! How long did he last in the professional game with an attitude like that? The bloopers continue with a very cute little cat putting its paws over a far bigger and rougher-looking dog, making you wonder what happened to poor little kitty afterwards! Still on the animal theme, there’s a very artificial looking pigeon reading a book entitled How to Shit on Humans. If pigeons went to school this would surely be the only textbook they’d need to study, right? Probably the funniest of the funny bloopers is a rather sick-looking cat with no hair on him whatsoever. The hilarious comment beneath reads: ‘Gillette – the best a cat can get’.

Flight Attendant Turns Bad Boy Before Take-Off

Lisa — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 09:51:54 +0000

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Chuck D, Ice-T, Skee-Lo, KRS-ONE, Kool Keith, Tupac… and now an unknown flight attendant on a US domestic airline. This clip will have you giggling with surprise at the way this dude spits and rhymes all the information the passengers need while getting them to stomp and clap along to him. Lines like ‘We don’t take cash so you have to use plastic/If you gotta coupon that’s fantastic’ will hardly get this flight attendant into the hip hop hall of fame but his decision to entertain the passengers must have put a smile on their face and made the journey go a bit quicker. There are shots of some of the passengers whose expressions seem to say “I don’t like hip hop,” but then others give the hip hop gesture for “gimme some more”. On the whole, though, everyone on this flight seems to enjoy themselves. You can’t help but wonder how planned this little hip hop show was given that a camera was filming the whole thing from the point of view of the flight attendant because why else would anyone want to film a boring domestic flight? But never mind, the point is that, while this won’t get into the hip hop hall of fame it is quite impressive and, more to the point, very funny. I’m kinda surprised that, given all the post 9/11 security madness, this flight attendant was allowed to rap as I guessed there’d be some Homeland Security rule about informing the passengers of everything they need to know and generally not messing about on airplanes. There’s some laughter from the passengers at the closing comment of the flight attendant: “You will not get that on United Airlines I guarantee you!” Maybe the rap approach could be exported to the other areas – 50 Cent rapping the weather forecast, MF Doom rapping the sports results, etc etc. Based on this clip, rap should penetrate the rest of our lives in other ways as it certainly makes things more entertaining as long as you have someone as skilled as this flight attendant doing it.

Test Your Awareness With a Moonwalking Bear

Ross — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:17:27 +0000

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If you enjoy a little challenge as well as a laugh then this clip might be interesting to you. Although I’ve slightly spoiled it by putting ‘moonwalking bear’ in the title, you’ll be able to come away from watching this commercial for Transport for London with an idea as to how aware you really are. First off, a bunch of basketball players are stood facing the camera. Then a plummy English voice asks you to watch them run around passing the ball and count how many times they make a pass. Afterwards the narrator not only tells you the answer but asks whether you saw the moonwalking bear. “What?” you ask yourself, “What’s he talking about? I didn’t see a moonwalking bear. Have we been watching the same clip?” Then all is revealed when the clip of the basketball players is replayed and yes, there is a mad-looking bear moonwalking between the basketball players as they pass the ball to each other. The whole point of the commercial to put over the fact that when you are concentrating on one thing you may not at all be aware of another. The comparison is made with cyclists in the streets of London and how drivers should be aware of them. I wonder how far they could have taken this clip, whether they could have had something a lot more crazy going on such as a bear on fire or a bear riding a motorbike. Would us viewers still not have noticed that because we were all so stuck on the basketball players? Maybe they could have had footage of major disasters like volcanoes and earthquakes playing behind the court and STILL we probably wouldn’t have noticed it, as we’d be so engrossed in these boring idiots chucking a basketball to each other. I wonder if this commercial has actually led to a reduction in traffic accidents involving bikers? More likely it has seen an increase of crashes into dumb moonwalking bears in silly furry outfits and little pug noses, especially when there are people playing basketball nearby!

Motorbike Race Side-Splitting Double Fail!

Lisa — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:27:02 +0000

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Picture the scene: a pro motorbike race sponsored by Castrol and all the other big-hitters, this is no doubt a big day for our biker being filmed. He revs up a little too quick and the bike skids away from him at top speed while he takes a painful fall to be left floundering on the track. Side-splitting or what? And he’s not the only one who takes a painful fall – a parasitic photographer who thinks he can steal a shot of the poor biker’s misfortune goes running alongside the track and trips over like an idiot. I think they call that getting a taste of your own medicine. In the world of crazy clips they call this a ‘double fail’ and it makes sense because the biker would have failed in his attempt to win the race the moment it started, and the photographer’s painful fall resulted in him failing to capture anything of interest on his camera. You have to find the coincidence side-splitting though: the biker goes and soon after that the photographer goes. Maybe it’s just some weird cosmic law that applies to motorbike races just as it does to everything else: when someone makes a serious, first-class, A-grade screw-up someone else nearby has to as well. When things go wrong EVERYTHING goes wrong! That biker is certainly now famous on You Tube but obviously not for winning races. Perhaps if things don’t work out and he keeps taking painful falls, he could make a career move to become a kind of bad Evil Knieval who always messes up his stunts instead of pulling them off. Just a weird thought! Who knows, some sick folks might like to see a biker totally misjudging the ramp and plummeting down a cliff to his death or colliding head-on with the VIP section of the motorbike race track. This whole new sport could be called ‘snuff racing’ and might well catch on in our sick and bizarre world, although it’s pretty obvious that there wouldn’t be many bikers who’d end up making more than one film.

Durex Commercial Leaves Nothing to the Imagination

Ross — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:12:38 +0000

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If you find sex funny but blown-up animated condoms behaving like dogs on heat even funnier then check this madcap commercial out. Created by Durex, the makers of the contraceptives, the level of detail is astonishing from the sheer range of sexual positions right down to the little squeaks the Durex doggies make when they make sweet love to each other. I counted no less than 6 sexual positions here, from the good old-fashioned missionary position to the 69 to a kind of conga line of sodomy – if these had been depicted in live action using real actors you don’t have to be a genius to know that this madcap commercial would never have made it on to TV, but hurray for Youtube! The tagline at the end of this madcap commercial is ‘Get it on’ and these dirty Durex dogs do just that with real gusto. First off there’s two of them going at it like they’re sexaholics until a third party – ominously colored orange but still in the form of a blown-up condom dog – gets a sniff of what’s going on and wants a piece of the action whereupon things get a whole lot weirder with proper threesome sex craziness. Suffice to say, these latex lapdogs collapse on the floor due to fatigue before deciding they want more and getting back into the swing of things. Along with the squeaks coming from the friction of these naughty dogs doing their business with each other, there are also little squeaks of pleasure that disturbingly enough sound like they belong in a children’s show rather than in an adult Durex commercial. I wonder if this clip will grow in popularity and these Durex dogs will become well-known across the worldwide web. They’re so funny and crazy that they really deserve the fame. They’re also so adept at sexual positions, appearing to know them all… and some more, that they might teach us humans a thing or two. Perhaps they could perform in their own TV version of the Joy of Sex? Who knows?