Lunch in Suva

Lunch Buffet @ Holiday Inn

2010-03-21T17:14:00.017+13:00

Regular readers will know that we at LiS have a policy of not spending more than $10 per meal. This is a policy we waive under two specific circumstances 1) when someone else is paying, and 2) when we feel like it.

This week we found that both of those conditions were fulfilled by a corporate benefactor. With a list price of $36 per head, this was not an opportunity to be passed up. To Vikatoria's at the Holiday Inn we go:

The first thing we did was get stuck into the nigiri, mostly smoked salmon, tuna, and inside out roll. Competently done if not spectacular, but personally I can eat this sort of thing all day and every day.

Every buffet has a salad bar, and this one has all the usual elements. One thing they don't have that they should have is labels for the dressings, for instance I have no idea what that creamy paste on the right is, and that was the case with all of other dressings and vinegarettes offered. I have better things to do at lunch than play dressing lucky dip.

Unfortunately your intrepid reviewer is abstaining from the flesh of mammals and fowl at the moment, so I am unable to say much about these slices of roast pork except to say that they look like sexual napalm for the tastebuds. The main thing to worry about with roast meats is dryness, and this doesn't seem to have that problem at all.

This fish curry was simply rubbish, not at all spicy, dry, and tasteless. We attempted to rescue it by chilli-ing the living fuck out of it, but succeeded only in making it spicy, dry and tasteless. The fish is not fresh either.

Eating your vegetables is a must. These were just a tad overcooked, but I'm glad they've included ota in the steamed vegetables selection.

On the left we have the vegetarian pizza, which is pretty damn good. On the right is the fish pizza which was far too salty. The vegetarian pizza, with its mushrooms, olives, capsicum, cabbage, and excellent base might rival Dorothy's Kitchen as the best pizza the LiS crew has tried yet.

Now I'm sure you can get better cold soba with tempura vegetables at Ginza or Shinjuku station, but I put it to you that you are much less likely to be groped by エロマンガ crazed サラリーマン. Eat your soba at the Holiday Inn and avoid both the expense and the 痴漢.

This kokoda was simply awful. What makes kokoda work is the texture, good kokoda springs back against ones teeth and holds together. Crap kokoda like this one has the texture of cooked fish and offers no resistance to the chewer. I don't think the fish was particularly fresh either.

There are deserts as well. We were too full to sample them but our dining companions partook and we were with our shitty cellphone cameras to capture them. Given that we didn't actually eat any we don't really have much to say much about them.

This is the trifle. I hate trifle.

This is the sponge cake. I hate sponge cake.

There are too many flaws with this buffet to give this a thumbs up, and at $36 per head it is not good value either. On the plus side its a popular place for corporate events and lunches so you have many opportunities to namu ones bosses, suppliers, donors, and business partners.

In Summary

Lunch Buffet @ Holiday Inn: Vikatoria's Restaurant, Holiday Inn, Victoria Pde (http://osm.org/go/vrytAvrvY-)
Opening Hours:: Mon - Friday: 12:00pm - 2:30pm
Spend:: $36 per head

Hot Dog stand outside Ministry of Education

2010-02-28T10:02:00.009+13:00

There has been a hot dog stand outside the Ministry of Education on the corner of Gorrie St and Thurston St for most of the past decade. While it is always good to see enterprising young men try and make their way in the world, the LiS crew will only ever judge you on the quality and cost effectiveness of your food, and never on the purity of your heart and honest intentions.
These guys have one item on the menu, at a single price ($4), and that item is the Hot Dog. In years past they used to have a burger which was tasty enough but seemed to give everyone acid reflux, and it is no longer on the menu.
The above is a hot dog, a sausage in a bun with sauce and mustard, with grated cheese. Not the sort of thing one has to study Julia Child to learn how to do. If they have relish you can get relish but they don't seem to have it that often.

There really isn't much to say about it - its a damn hot dog. It is what it is. If I had season tickets at Yankee Stadium I would have the requisite cultural software installed to determine where in the grand spectrum of hot dog quality this sits. Unfortunately I have neither tickets nor the inclination (nor for that matter the stomach lining) to become a hot dog connoisseur.

I am however fully qualified to comment on this meals place in the price performance curve. At $4 this is simply not a good deal. Scrounge around in your coin jar for $1.50 more and you can get a substantial feed at a place like the Handicraft centre. Most people with Pacific Island appetites will need two hot dogs to make a decent lunch - well for the $8 that will cost you can get yourself a bi bim bap at Shabu Shabu, an option that is both healthier, heftier, and tastier.

In Summary

Hot Dog Stand: Outside the Ministry Education, Corner of Gorrie St and Thurston St (http://osm.org/go/vrytA9Pi@-)
Opening Hours:: Mon - Friday: 12:00pm - 2:30pm
Spend:: $4 per hot dog
Rating:: Thumbs-down

And now for some user generated content - Fr in Nasese

2010-01-12T22:33:00.004+13:00

Posting this drivel month in month out gets to be a drag. We have to go from filthy greasy spoon to disgusting dive, spending our own money and risking our own stomach linings. So its a relief when someone writes in and gives us content, as our friend Bill did last week. To whit:

If you haven't been to Fr (don't understand the stupid name) in the old "Point After" building down from Suva Grammar on Queen Elizabeth Drive, you're missing out. I don't know why that man (the owner of the former Cakodrove) has the magic recipe for fish & chips, but he does. I recommend the cod ($10), although they might recommend something else when you visit. Apparently they opened a couple weeks ago. I just hope they can overcome the curse on that building and build a good business. Don't think I could handle the emotional hit of having them close again. There's a lot of healthier food available for lunch in Suva, but none tastier.

Best regards, Bill

Thanks to Bill. Of course none of the Lunch in Suva team have actually been there so we can't stand by a word of the above - but who needs verification when you have someone doing your work for you.

Shabu Shabu at MHCC

2009-12-31T20:56:00.003+13:00

Shabu Shabu looks a bit lonely in the MHCC food court. A lot of people don't seem to know what to make of it. Even during the busiest lunch rush, there are always empty seats at the counter.

To be fair, the place is a bit confusing: part teppanyaki joint, part sushi roll bar, part Korean food outlet ... and both Korean and Japanese food can be a little daunting for first-timers without a guide.

That said, allow me to point out a few things worth trying.

First up, bibimbap, a selection of vegetables (some pickled, some cooked, some raw), chili paste, and a fried egg on a large bowl of rice.

This Korean dish is usually served with kimchi and some soup (below).

At $8 a serve, this dish performs very well on the price-performance curve ... and how can any self-respecting Fiji resident say no to a dish featuring chili paste? This particular bibimbap is also vegetarian, so it's not going to get you in trouble with PETA.

On the Japanese side of the fence, teriyaki beef (or you can get chicken or tuna ... whatever the edicts of your god permit).

This one gets cooked on the teppan in front of you, and is served with a selection of veges and rice. Not as big, impressive or filling as the bibimbap, but still a good meal. $8.

The rice from Shabu Shabu always seems to be on the cold side ... this is a little puzzling for an Asian restaurant, but doesn't detract too much from the meals.

Everything on the menu seems to come in between $7 and $8, except the ebi prawns.

A variety of sushi and sashimi selections are available, or start with the California rolls if you need a gentle introduction. The Korean version, kimbap, is also on offer.

The Korean soups are also worth a try: the chicken kalguksu is a good starting place. Shabu Shabu actually has a bigger selection of soups than Joji's so play the field a little and find something you like.

We've no idea how long this Korean-owned, would-be-Japanese eatery will survive, so try it while it's still around ... or there's always its parent restaurant in Ra Marama House, but that is a couple of magnitudes up the price scale.

For good value, a large selection of soups, having the balls to install a teppan in a food court, and confusing us all with an eclectic mix of Korean and Japanese, a tentative thumbs-up.

In Summary

Shabu Shabu: MHCC Food Court, Level 2, MH City Centre, sandwiched between Thompson St, Renwick Rd, and Nabukalou Creek.
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sun: 9:00am - 9:00pm
Spend:: $7 - $15 per person
Rating:: Thumbs-up

The Defence Club on Fridays

2009-11-29T17:01:00.014+13:00

All the private clubs in Suva have a kitchen, the last remaining holdout was the Defence Club. With the demise of "Khana Kao" that used to be in the basement (selling something called "Indo-fijian cuisine"), the Defence Club has been without food for a couple of years (cheese, tamarind chutney, and breakfast crackers don't count).

Now the club is getting back into the lunch scene with a Friday cafeteria style offering. Usually only one or two options are offered, and the price ranges from $10 to $12. A lady named Joanna is in charge and apparently you can call her for orders as well (call the club at 3305037 and ask for her - Friday only).

The day we investigated the Seafood lunch was on offer and this menu included:

Dalo
Fried Fish in Lolo
Ota
Baked Kai
Lumi
Nama
Fruits ( watermelon / pineapple)

Overall a stunning success - slightly over our $10 per head policy, but we can justify it by saying that its a Friday only treat. Its a large meal, and when coupled with the $1.60 beers that one will be tempted to wash down the lolo with, your afternoon productivity will be severely impacted. You are probably better off telling the boss that you won't be "out in the field" for the rest of the day.
Make sure you eat your fruits. The fibre will help you shit later, and god knows that you'll be needing to shit after such a serve.

The menu changes every week. Typical offerings include Lovo (pork, chicken, palusami, wacipoki) and Curry (lamb, bhindi, pumpkin, chutney, rice). Ask them to put you on the mailing list and they will tell you whats for lunch via email.

In Summary

Defence Club Friday Lunch: 57 Gordon St
Phone: 3305037
Opening Hours:: 1200 - 1430 - Friday only
Spend:: $15 per person (assuming two beers)
Rating:: Thumbs-up

Saturday special: Steamed buns from Dorothy's Kitchen

2009-10-31T21:45:00.005+12:00

These chinese steamed buns, with a pork or chicken filling, are available at Dorothy's Kitchen only on Saturdays, and usually sold out early in the afternoon.

These are probably the best steamed buns in Suva (comments welcome). I have a distinct preference for the pork ones (pictured above) ... but if pork isn't on your menu, the chicken buns are quite good.

If you've got a hankering for steamed buns during the week, Hot & Spicy Kitchen sells an edible chicken-filled bun.

Joji's Noodle Bar at MHCC

2009-09-10T09:00:00.000+12:00

After years of operating quietly from his hole in the wall under the Civic Centre on the Suva foreshore Joji finally decided it was time to expand the empire.

First, there was a tentative foray into new territory during Fiji Showcase. Judging by the lines, the hungry masses approved.

Joji pondered this validation of his culinary authority, and then went to see a man about an empty space in the MHCC food court.

And now Joji's Noodle Bar has a stall at the top of the escalators on the 2nd floor of MHCC. Judging by the lines during lunch hour, the hungry masses still approve.

As the name indicates, this place is all about noodles. Dalo is available with some dishes, but there is no rice available here.

Where there's noodle, there's soup. Combination long and short, Asian beef stew, chicken noodle, fish balls.

This is the combination long and short soup: chicken, beef, fish balls, wantons, your choice of noodles, in an peppery broth. There is no pork in the soup (or on the menu). They've also swapped out the usual Chinese cabbage with lettuce. This doesn't bother me, but Kania Tiko considers it to be an unforgivable deviation from the norm.

Takeaway soups are well packed.

Almost everything on the menu is cooked to order. The staple chow mein and chilli chicken dishes (with noodles of course) are cooked in bulk, but never more than is needed to keep the line moving.

New to the menu is the 'Hot, Sweet and Sour Noodles'. The proprietor describes it as being 'like a noodle salad.'

A brilliant combination of noodles and vegetables with a hot, tangy sauce holding it all together! This dish then evolved a little, and offered a choice of chicken or beef in the dish. It has since been removed from the display menu, but I am assured that they will prepare it on request.

The menu is priced a little higher than the original Joji's. This, in addition to the lack of rice and the introduction of soup, means they're not competing with their original shop. To that end, the MHCC outlet has also dropped the small serve.

Not content with the move to MHCC, they've also opened a bakery in the food court that serves up a variety of cakes, pastries and breads under the banner of Joji's Temptation ... but that is for another review.

For adding soup to the usual Joji's options, and a hot, sweet & sour noodle salad that rises above the usual takeaway offerings, a thumbs-up.

In Summary

Joji's Noodle Bar: MHCC Food Court, Level 2, MH City Centre, sandwiched between Thompson St, Renwick Rd, and Nabukalou Creek.
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sun: 9:00am - 9:00pm
Spend:: $6 - $7 per person
Rating:: Thumbs-up

Jody's @ MHCC

2009-08-31T23:11:00.007+12:00

Closed ... as predicted by Kania Tiko. On the bright side, the location is just too good to go to waste ... so there'll eventually be another eatery here for us to scrutinise.

The MHCC complex has added a fast food place on the ground floor (on the Renwick Rd side) which the LiS team is duty bound to find out more about.
The interior looks like a typical fast food chain, obviously they've looked at the Macca's of the world and tried to copy what works. I can say that the ordering process is efficient and well thought out, however one doesn't always understand what the attendant is saying - the dude rattles off the options at a rate of knots in a language believed to be English.
There are a selection of toasted sandwiches, this is the pick of the bunch - egg with Jody's fire sauce (which seems to be some sort of Tamarind and chilli mix), but after eating one can't help but think that one could do a better job at home. Scramble some eggs, toast some bread, put on some tamarind chutney and tabasco, and you have a quick tasty breakfast. Kudos to Jody's for giving me the idea, but it's unlikely I'll be going back there for this one.

This the menu, it has far too many things on it.
This is a chicken burger - the smallest one that they offer as you can see from the $0.50 piece provided for scale. Its also one of the most boring burgers that we've ever eaten, not actually bad, just completely uninteresting.
This is their grilled fish with coleslaw. An utterly revolting meal - nothing short of a vile, disgusting abomination - in fact worth purchasing just to marvel with ones own senses at how bad cooking can get.
This the CSI pizza, and CSI does not refer to the forensic team that should be investigating the crime against food that the Grilled Fish is. CSI apparently means "Community Sourced Ingredients" which in this case are pumpkin, baigan, and tomato. This actually isn't a bad pizza, which is a good thing as their other pizza options are pretty horrible. This is the only thing I ate that I'd actually go back for.

A note about the price - this place is expensive! All the food above cost $28, and the two grown men eating it were not satiated at all and ended up taking the escalator to eat some noodles at Joji's.

I really have no idea what this place is trying to do, maybe it wants to be Indo-Fijian McDonald's, which might be a worthy goal if they could pull off more than one dish. Perhaps if they cut the menu in half and concentrate on a few winners (fried chicken, Indo-Fijian style pizza, funky roti parcels with some sort of original twist) they could make this work.

Judging by the empty tables we don't expect Jody's to be long for this world. It will not be missed.

In Summary

Jody's: Bottom Floor, MHCC, Renwick Rd Side
Opening Hours:: 0900 - 2100 - 7 days a week
Spend:: $15 per person
Rating:: Thumbs-down

Hibiscus Festival 2009

2009-08-27T16:26:00.002+12:00

The August school break has come upon us again, bringing with it Suva's so-called 'mother of all festivals,' The Hibiscus Festival.

Unlike past years, the weather has been kind (so far) and instead of the usual mud-pool, Albert Park is instead doing a very good impression of a dust bowl. So dry was it, that there was some confusion amongst the Lunch in Suva delegation as to whether we had accidentally arrived at the Sugar Festival by mistake.

Where the weather may have changed, the prevalance of BBQ stalls has not. The vast majority of stalls offer up the same boring combination: a lamb chop, a sausage, a bit of casava, and a bit of shredded vegetable matter all liberally drowned in the cheapest tomato sauce known to the market. Most stalls now offer a chicken option as well.

For most, the only differentiating factor seems to be the club running each stall (for example the QVS stall pictured above). Association patrons, relatives, and obliged people buy from the stall to whom they owe allegiance. All others buy from the stall that seems cleanest, nearest, or most generous.

There are a few highlights: stalls that attempted something different. Enter the first specimen: Tandoori Barbeque

Still a bit of a safe play for unimaginative punters, but giving the rest of the field a much needed kick up the behind, The Taste of Indian Muglai has seen fit to drop a bit of lemon and spice on their lamb and chicken, call it 'tandoori' and they seem to be doing rather well out of it.

Here's a little video of the process. There's no tandoor in sight, but we mustn't allow that to detract from their achievement.

Also worth a try are the Bombay kebabs from Aashnas stall (who also offer the more traditional, non-bbq form of tandoori chicken).

The kebabs are cooked out the front of the stall, on metal rods, charcoal beneath and an unusually hot Suva sun above.

The kebabs are served in a paper cup and are topped with green mango chutney.

Kania Tiko believes these to be both spicey enough and oily enough to merit a pairing with beer.

Doner kebabs have also put in a token appearance.

The wrap was a thick roti. The only sauce available was tomato. The meat was unremarkable. The salad of no consequence. And at $6 a serve, this otherwise welcome deviation from the line of bbq stalls wanders too far off the price/performance curve to be worth your while.

The Bible Society burger stall has become somewhat of a fixture at the festival.

In the past these burgers have been very good. The first year, they seemed serious about passing the taste test: mustard, relish, mayo and good tomato sauce were all part of the burger.

This $4 burger has since fallen on hard times.

A bit of lettuce, a slice of tomato, a few slivers of onion and a Foods Pacific lamb patty do not a good burger make. Reduced to a shadow of it's former self, this may now well be the worst performer on the Hibiscus dining price/performance curve.

And now, a few general comments:

First, this 'flame' falls deep in 'WTF' territory. Lunch in Suva objects to this waste of good cooking gas.

Second, it's a sad day for Fiji when carnival ice-cream cones are more expensive than a McDonald's softserve.

Finally, we leave you with this strange piece of fiction, designed (we presume) to draw the attention of young children to the sweeties.

You can click on the photo to read the large version. The 'dialogue' on the side of the stall is as follows:

Monkey:
Hey Mowgli come into the festive mood and party with me

Mowgli:
Oh! I'd love to party with u
U've got all my favourite candy floss, pop corn, sno cone and oh u also have my favourite Juice

Pooh Bear:
I hope the monkey didnt notice I took his pop corn

Eyore:
Oh i love my sno cone
yummy

Rabbit:
Hey Piglet
Will Eyore exchange his sno cone with my Candy floss

Piglet:
Well I dont know about him but i know i love my tasty Juice

What more could you possibly say about the Hibiscus Festival?

Tiko's Seafood Restaurant & Bar

2009-07-06T21:13:00.001+12:00

So there is this guy, maybe his name is Tiko, maybe it isn't, either way no one seems to give a shit. Anyway so he gets hold of a boat somehow and turns into a floating restaurant. He moors it on Stinson Parade across from Sukuna Park, and starts charging the punters of Suva shitloads of money for steak and seafood. A legend of Suva eating ensues, and for the next three decades people with expense accounts and the bakewa that follow them eat well and in a unique setting.

Now this place is way out of the normal budget usually covered here at LiS, but when there are others willing to pay, and a half reasonable camera phone is handy, one is duty bound to bend guidelines and sacrifice one's time and stomach for a higher principle: "Never miss an opportunity to namu wealthier relatives".

So there is a menu on a blackboard, and the only thing in single figures is the soup, but since you're all like me and eating on someone else's dime, I'm sure you don't give a rats.

As a bakewa with some experience in these waters, I recommend the Grilled Nuqa with Miti, but you are pretty safe eating anything you are not allergic to. The main courses are large and come with either mash, dalo, or chips.

If you are boring, or are either physically or mentally under the age of 12, you could always have a serve of Fish and Chips. At $14 and no different to what one gets from Hook and Chook or Joli Fryer, it isn't a stunner on the price performance curve. Again, I know we aren't paying for this meal, but if we are going to namu, lets namu smartly!

If you aren't that hungry, ask for the entrée as a main. Above is the crumbed calamari and the grilled baby octopus, two entrées put together to make a lighter mains.

One should always eat ones greens, even if one is a freeloading bastard. Get thee to the salad bar and load up on rourou, bhindi, pumpkin, ota, baseisei, potatoes, pasta etc., and try the chilli vinaigrette and the thousand island dressing.

Vegetables are good for you. Eat your vegetables. Especially when they are paid for.

You can get steaks too, Surf and Turf and that sort of thing, I have no idea if they are any good, but one can rarely go wrong with steak.

It is not the best place for a one hour lunch break. Your order will probably take more than half an hour to get to you, leaving you about 15 minutes to wolf down your food and get back to work. You will also need the time to entertain your sponsor with your scintillating repartee and incisive wit (which is the least you can do for someone buying you lunch).

In Summary

Tiko's Seafood Restaurant & Bar: The boat moored opposite Sukuna Park, Stinson Pde, Suva
Opening Hours:: Buggered if I know but its open for lunch on the weekdays
Spend:: Shitloads
Rating:: Thumbs-up (if someone else is paying)

Maya Dhaba at MHCC

2009-06-29T22:52:00.004+12:00

If you are well-connected in the world of internet trivia you may have seen reference to a certain raunchy Burger King ad, allegedly tempting the usually staid people of Singapore.

The good people at The Atlantic have seen fit to address our questions about the efficacy of this sort of food advertising. "No!" they say, "sexy ads drown out the product, diminish brand recall, and often don't reap dividends" ... and then embed a plethora of examples to prove their point.

Just because Fiji is spared this sort of advertising, doesn't mean that we are off the hook when it comes to "food with sexual innuendo."

Enter the mighty dhosa: an lusty South Indian delicacy with unavoidable phallic connotations, the signature dish of Maya Dhaba at MHCC.

Undeniable shock and awe value. A tasty, hearty meal, the chicken dosa goes for $8.90; the (vegetarian) masala dorsa for $6.90. Each is served up with a side of coconut chutney and a bowl of sambar.

The biryani ($8.90 for chicken, Goat/Lamb for $1 extra) is also worthy of your attention. Both the biryani and the dorsa are cooked to order.

Tandoori chicken starts at $3.50 for a quarter of a bird. The food warmer offers a variety of meat and vegetable curries in various combinations (with rice and drink) ranging up to $8.50. The usual caveats about eating food with a dairy component from the food warmer apply. Plain and garlic naan are also available.

The ever present scourge of the food court, the coke fridge, offers up the usual range. But! for those of you who demand a more authentic experience, there is a choice of Sweet or Mango Lassi.

An extensive range of Indian sweets rounds out this offering.

For me, the success of this little food court outlet is that every time I eat here, it makes me want to eat at their parent restaurant on Victoria Parade ... though that is an experience better suited to dinner and a larger budget than is sensible for lunch.

Thumbs-up for bucking the boring food-court routine, staying affordable and offering one of Suva's most visually provocative dishes.

In Summary

Maya Dhaba: MHCC Food Court, Thomson Street, Suva
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sun: 9:00am - 9:00pm
Spend:: $3.50 - $13 per person
Rating:: Thumbs-up

Joji's at Fiji Showcase

2009-06-08T16:00:00.002+12:00

The annual abomination that is Fiji Showcase has rolled around again. The entry fee to the exhibition has gone up ($3.50 this year), the clown hasn't changed, and the same old exhibitors are touting their wares from the floor.

The "food" offerings aren't particularly inspiring this year either, though I do note and applaud the general effort to keep the number of BBQ stalls in check.

But ... Joji's was there! Yes, that Joji's. The Showcase Joji's is a special chicken-only version of the original from under the Civic Centre. $5 for the 'medium' serve, $6 for the large: in all the usual chicken combinations: chop suey, chowmein, chilli, fried rice and blackbean.

On that note, here's our first Lunch in Suva video special: 'Son of Joji' showing us how they make Chilli Chicken in 2 minutes 40 seconds flat.

Truly, the force is strong with this one: fire, wok and chicken do his bidding.

There are a couple of other stalls that bear mention:

There is a new entrant in the hot-dog category offering a "German frankfurter with sauerkraut". The frankfurter didn't look, taste or speak German (in fact it looked and tasted remarkably like the Foods Pacific 'dog being sold a few stalls down), but the sauerkraut was definitely sauerkraut. At $3.50, this is probably not a valid justification for a trip to Showcase ... but it may help redeem the visit if you were there for other reasons.

Also, worth a mention is the FRIEND's Fiji stall: I'm a fan of their excellent tamarind chutney, and supply of the big bottles is a little irregular in the supermarkets; so get yourself a stash straight from the source.

Most of the other food stalls can be ignored: Wish Bone, Curry House, KFC, et al can be got from their usual locations without paying the $3.50 Showcase tax.

Oh! And someone is selling cans of V for $2.50 each ... that's the cheapest I've seen it in a while.

Noodles King

2009-05-26T00:06:00.004+12:00

Located in the old Fiji Times building on Gordon Street, Noodles King has dared to try something new: noodles! This latest addition to the asian dining scene (if you could call it that) sits opposite 2 other eateries that have challenged the status quo -- Singh's Curry House & Roma's Hook and Chook -- and so is in good company as it sets about provoking Suva's stagnant notions of what Chinese food should be.

There seems too have been some doubt about the name: the large light-box outside the shop seems, at first glance, to proclaim "Noodle King". Closer inspection reveals the addition of a small 's', reassuring us that this place deals exclusively in the plural (and more generous) style of noodle serve. Noodles King it is!

The menu is simple, the prices are cheap.

$6.80 will buy the house special, King Noodles (from Noodles King: clever, no?) (below) is a large bowl of thick home-made noodles in a bland broth topped with a bed of cabbage, chicken, pork, fish balls, a battered prawn, some raw carrots julienne and garnished with dhania/cilantro/corriander leaves.

The broth seems intended for personal customisation: bowls of chilli oil, soy sauce and salt are provided for this purpose (pictured below). The noodles are accompanied by a small side salad of shredded, vinegared vegetables: various combinations of radish, bean sprouts, carrot and slivers of raw onion have been sighted.

$7.00 gets you to the top of the pyramid: Prawn Noodles. Unless you've got a particular hankering for prawns, drop down to the King Noodles; they're far more interesting.

Noodles with gravy is the cheapest option at $3.80. The curiously named Fry sauce noodles (below) tops $4.20 worth of noodles with fried egg, soy sauce, sesame, and shallots. Other options are Beef, Chicken, Pork, Fish balls, and Egg (sunny-side-up). Takeaway or eat-in.

Suva's sad culinary bottom-feeders are also provided for in the form of chips with the usual chicken or sausage decoration, and a token smattering of the usual pseudo-chinese food-warmer offerings ... why anyone would want to eat this trash when coooked-to-order noodley goodness is available for the same price is beyond me. Coke and Pepsi fridges provide the usual drinks range.

This eatery seems a little haphazard in it's decor: yellow-green walls, blue and pink feature lights on the wall, silver ceiling fans. The eclectic ambience ranged from Eurodance to Chinese folk music to classical symphony: obviously from the well-shuffled MP3 collection of a rapacious download hero. The one redeeming touch was the food pictures on the walls: these were probably not taken in the shop, were not labelled and had "Noodle King" (rather than Noodles King) emblazoned across the bottom ... but to their great credit, all depicted food that could be ordered from the menu.

Kania Tiko held forth at some length on the shortcomings of the orange plastic seats: ill-considered ergonomics, a conspiracy to tip him onto the floor, and the unbucketly alignment of what looked like a bucket seat. Given that this is the worst criticism he could come up with -- and that it was not aimed at the food -- we should probably take this as a wholehearted endorsement of the product.

Places were set with a serviette and a little packet of 'Cool Air' breath mints, a nice touch.

Thumbs-up for trying something different and breaking the usual 'chop suey, chowmein, soup' menu rut that Suva's Chinese restaurants have become stuck in.

In Summary

Noodles King: Old Fiji Times Building, Gordon Street, Suva
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sat: 9:00am - 6:00pm
Spend:: $3.80 - $7 per person
Rating:

Le Pain de Mie

2009-05-17T17:55:00.001+12:00

The Faith Based Encyclopaedia claims that "pain de mie" is "a type of sliced, packaged bread" similar to "pullman loaf or regular sandwich bread". Given that they don't sell anything like that there it seems like a moronic name, and since most of us don't speak frog we can't pronounce it properly anyway. Therefore most normal humans just call it either 'Samabula Bakery', 'French Bakery', or 'Big Red'.

This establishment sits at the base of Waimanu Road, across the road from the post office. It is a truly hideous building, I can only hope that the cheque from Vodafone was a large one.
Now lets look at their famous pie:

It is an impressive piece of pastry and meat, lets have a look inside.

Picky Eater disses this good shit and talks up the HBK alternative because of some pap about "moistness" vs "dryness" which is too nonsensical to repeat here. My only response is that the above looks and tastes like that it came from an actual chicken, whereas the HBK chicken pie filling is some sort of extruded chicken paste. The HBK might be moist, but is it real?

The pies are $3 each. The pastry is excellent. Get yourself some hot english mustard and work it into the filling and you have a splendid meal.

They also have danishes and quiches for $2 each and croissants for $0.80. I haven't eaten enough of these to have a useful opinion on them, but I'm certain they won't be able to sneak them into your South Beach diet.

The mince loaf is a favourite of the local FIT students, it is a long loaf cut along the spin and filled with curried mince.

They'll pretty much stick this curried mince on just about anything they sell. Order a whole loaf and they'll ask you how many pieces you want it divvied up into before they pack it. Not the healthiest meals you'll ever have, but certainly one of the cheapest at $1.80.

This is a cream loaf. It's a long loaf with cream in in it. Meh.

There are three Coke fridges, that aren't particularly well stocked. If you were looking for a bottle of Frank's or some other fancy drink you are shit out of luck. You usually will find a Coke or a sprite, but that it is not guaranteed.

There are no prices on the board. This is odd.

One other thing you can do here that is not particularly well advertised is that you can bring your own pork or chicken and stick in their ovens. The price varies according to size of the meat you bring, approximately $5 for two chickens or thereabouts.

For providing some of the cheapest lunches in Suva, thus really killing it on the price-performance curve, we give the Big Red Samabula French Bakery a thumbs up.

In Summary

Le Pain de Mie: Waimanu Rd, Samabula
Opening Hours:: Monday - Sunday: 24 hours/day
Spend: $0.60 - $3.00 per person
Verdict: Thumbs up

Hop Hing Cafe

2009-04-10T09:22:00.012+12:00

Hop Hing sits opposite the beer factory in Walu bay. It plies a regular trade with the brewery, warehouse, oil, and wharf workers in the area. They serve up your typical pseudo-chinese food, plus the usual morning tea items (cake, buns, tinned meat etc.)

We tried two fairly representative items on the menu, first the combination short soup.
Kania Tiko is somewhat of a connoisseur of the Combination Short Soup. It has diced chicken, roast pork and red pork (but no beef strangely enough). The broth is superior to that of Mrs. Yangs, and doesn't need chillying up (but I chilly it up anyway out of force of habit). My main objection is the paucity of vegetables, all we have a couple of carrots and small handful of cabbage. Its the lack of veges and vege-variety that prevent this from challenging Hot & Spicy's position at the top of the totem pole of Suva's Combination Short Soups. At $9 its only 50 cents cheaper than Hot & Spicy, so it can't really compete on the price-performance curve either.

This is chicken chow-mein. Its stir-fried chicken, cabbage, carrots, and onions with noodles. You've all eaten this before so there is no point in me crapping on about it. It is hot and freshly cooked and costs $6.

This is the menu. If you can read it, then I congratulate you. If you can't go to Walu bay and read the real one.

The following video has absolutely nothing to do this review. I just think it would be cool to have a robot bartender in ones house, and also I want to send a big "Fuck You" to the Associated Press, for this display of stupidity.

In Summary

Hop Hing: Foster Rd, Walu Bay, Suva
Opening Hours:: Monday - Saturday: 7am - 5pm
Spend: $4.00 - $9.00 per person

Kebab King

2009-04-08T16:50:00.008+12:00

Suva finally has a kebab shop. How on earth a city with cosmopolitan pretensions could have survived this long without 'Turkish' food defies explanation. All this glorious city lacks now is a Subway franchise and some Mexican food. But back to the kebabs...

Kebab King attempts to be the full-service kebab shop in the style of migrant family-run shops found elsewhere on the Pacific Rim: döner kebabs, iskender kebab plates, kebab sandwiches on pide bread, falafel, tabouli, a variety of stuffed pide, and dolma all make it to the menu along with something passed off as 'Turkish pizza'.

Lamb and chicken are the meat choices on offer.

The cheapest option on the menu, the plain döner kebab, starts at $6.50 and is rather bland (lettuce, tomato, onion, meat, 1 sauce). The best way to enjoy your kebab is to take a $2 hit to the pocket and add hummus and extra tabouli. Top it off with garlic sauce (good with the chicken) or sweet chilli sauce (good with lamb) and the kebab is now a much tastier, albeit more expensive. The chicken tends toward being a little dry, so unless I see the cook slicing the chicken off the stack while I'm at the counter, I order the lamb.

Pizza is best left alone. An unseemly fascination with cheese drowns out the few other toppings.

The kebab on pide is worth a mention: it is a good, solid sandwich, but will need some extras to keep it from being too dry.

Some unevenness in staff training and kebab construction: the hummus should be applied to the flat-bread (yufka) before the salad fillings are added, not drizzled over the lettuce. There also seems to be a large variance in how much time different servers think is necessary to toast the döner kebab.

The layout of the serving area was obviously done with no reference to the sales process. The drinks fridge is located at the opposite end of the counter to the cash register. Having shuffled you along the counter toward the cashier while filling your kebab, your server is then forced to fight their way back down the counter past all the other attendants to fill any drinks orders. This process can slow down service considerably during the lunch rush.

Whilst there's nothing wrong with a kebab shop in a food court, as Suva's only kebab offering they could have done better than than the second floor in MHCC. I humbly offer that the best location for this business would be in the old Air Nauru office opposite Bad Dog's on the corner of Victoria Parade and MacArthur Street. There, nestled in the bosom of Suva's nightlife zone, they would make a royal killing if they stayed open late and competed a little with the BBQ sellers for the attention of tipsy people looking for greasy food.

Despite piling on the good karma for bringing kebabs to the city, the relatively high price point, uneven service, and a boring signature kebab conspire against the awarding of a thumbs-up to Kebab King; but they're certainly no where near thumbs-down territory. So, go forth, mix and match, and tell us what you think is the best way to remix their kebabs.

NB. They're in Nadi too. Port Denarau Marina Complex. Same offerings.

In Summary

Kebab King: MHCC Food Court, Thomson Street, Suva; Port Denarau Marina, Nadi
Phone:: 3100 167, 6750 375
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sun: 9:00am - 9:00pm
Spend:: $6.80 - $12 per person

Yang's Restaurant

2009-04-02T20:11:00.006+12:00

Yang's Restaurant is on Pratt St., opposite Suva Central and next to the Hare Krishna. Prominent local media harlot Culden Kamea notes "that it's easy to spot because they hang their roast duck, chicken and pork in the front window". He also observes that their Combination Long and Short Soup is "world famous", and that is where this review starts:
The soup is both short (it has won tons) and it is long (it has noodles). The combination bit must come from the roast chicken, beef and roast pork. The lady (we'll call her Mrs. Yang) spoons out the broth, noodles, and won tons from three big pots. The meat and veges are cut with a pair of scissors and placed in the bowl - as far as I know no other short order cook in Suva that cooks with scissors.

We won't comment as to whether the soup is "world famous" but it is certainly Mrs. Yang's most popular order, and at $6.80 its great the value for money. If there is a negative point it is that the broth is rather bland, so chilli it up first.

Other highlights include the Red Pork, which comes with rice, cabbage, some sort of wierd black sauce, and a bowl of that same broth as the soup. With no tasty fillings to break the monotony the full blandness of the broth hits you, but you can probably use it as a dipping sauce. This is also $6.80. A simple dish done well.

If you are short of cash you can get fish/sausage and chips for $3.

There are seven tables, and the establishment can get quite warm, with only a lone oscillating fan struggling bravely against small room full of large sweaty island folk. In the back of the room there is a 'bar' that has long since ceased to serve alcohol and now serves as the washing up station.

In Summary

Yang's Restaurant: Pratt St, Suva
Opposite Suva Central
Opening Hours:: Monday - Saturday: 9am - 8pm
Spend: $3 - $6.80 per person
Verdict:: Thumbs-up

Dan's Fish & Chips

2009-03-30T18:00:00.002+12:00

Whilst hardly Suva's first fish and chip shop, Dan's can probably take the credit for starting a renaissance of dedicated chippies in Suva.

Well-placed to take advantage of USP and the surrounding public sporting venues (Stadium, New Gym, Aquatic Centre, etc). This place has a steady stream of customers most of the time ... and is packed during sporting events.

This is not one of those 'pick-your-fish' places, there's one sort of fish, no one knows what it is but that's just fine. Dan's signature $5.50 Fish and chips has 3 or 4 pieces of crisply battered fish, a lemon wedge and as many chillies as the counter staff think you can handle.

70 cents more will get you a can of soft drink as part of a 'combo pack'. Thankfully, they've put a stop to the earlier nonsense where a combo pack could only include a can of Coke (and not any of the other soft drinks).

The $4.50 Fish burger is also worth a mention: it's not the world's most brilliant burger, but it's a worthy way to put down some fried fish and salad. $6.50 with chips, $7.50 with chips and a drink.

Dan's has wandered beyond the fish options: a rotisserie graces the back wall and a great many chickens pass through it on their way to birdie heaven.

The chicken options start off at $4 for a sandwich, and then jump up to $6 for the obligatory quarter chicken and chips. Various other fractions of the chicken may also be procured, or you can take a whole bird back to the office for $12 (a good Fiji-style put-in lunch if ever there was one).

Salt, pepper, and vinegar (hallelujah!) are available at the counter for no extra cost. No tomato sauce is included, but there are 2 types of sachets that can be had for a bit extra. A little tub of coleslaw can be added for $1.80; and for the sweeth toothed among us, a small selection of 'desserts' from $2 - $3 (including something claiming to be a trifle).

The proprietors have done a good job of setting up the place, considering it's proximity to the service station. Clever use of some potted palms and rocks gives the outside eating area a bit of space for itself.

While we're talking about the proprietors, on one of his visits Kania Tiko noticed a poster up behind the counter proclaiming "God bless Management". Being office drones ourselves, this is a prayer we've often offered up (particularly now that Management is worried about The Recession); but we've never seen it quite so prominently displayed before, and regret not having photographed it. The shop is closed on Sundays, presumably so that staff can dedicate more time to offering up this supplication.

Parking can be tiresome ... there are enough cars trying to drive through a petrol station without you trying to park your car there; and the coming of Nando's has meant even more competition for space.

For breathing life into Suva's stale, brown-paper-bag-packed, oily-fish industry, for being clean, and for allowing us to choose Fanta with our combo pack, we give Dan's Fish and Chips a thumbs-up.

In Summary

Dan's Fish & Chips: Laucala Bay Road
Opening Hours:: 10am - 6pm Monday to Saturday
Spend: $4 - $7.50 per person

Tulele's lovo lunch packs

2009-03-21T21:50:00.006+12:00

Tulele's Lovo is little bit different to the establishment we usually review. There is no restaurant, just lunch pack delivery service. As far as we know, it is Suva's first eatery to accept online orders - all you internet-enabled desk jockeys can head over to the lovo order form, and line up your Friday lunch.

You get a quarter chicken, rourou in lolo, big pieces of dalo, a small lemon, and a couple of chillies. There is only one item on the menu so deciding what to eat is easy.

Chicken doesn't fit the usual lovo profile; we've come to expect dry, slightly smoky chicken from a lovo: this is tender and juicy. Thumbs up for that. Thumbs down for being inconsistent - we've found one in three is still bloody next to the bone.

Picky Eater and his significant other complain about the 'palusami', but this concern can be dismissed, because it isn't palusami - it is rourou and lolo, cooked in a pot. I think its rather good.

Full marks for freshness: the 'palusami' was obviously packed hot ... so hot it melted holes in the bottom of more than one Styrofoam takeaway container in the batch we ordered. One just hopes that one isn't eating melted phenylethane with the rourou.

Your meal can turn up anywhere between 1100 and 1330 depending on where you are located in the delivery run. You may need a microwave in the office to fully enjoy it.

Overall a fresh and tasty meal, if inconsistent in timing, packaging, and preparation.

In Summary

Tulele's Lovo: Online order form
Phone:: Letila on 9328 926 or Clemence on 9491 884
Delivery:: Friday: 12 - 1pm
Spend:: $6 per person

The Mango Café

2009-03-17T14:07:00.003+12:00

The renovated premises of The Mango Café are a vast improvement over the old cafe: 2 stories now, air-conditioned, with a pleasant balcony along one side, and lots of glass and light. The atmosphere is relaxed and informal; the decor: muted.

Mango café offers breakfast, lunch and dinner menus ... and a sandwich bar. Whilst we've tried the lunch menu (the burgers and pasta dishes are good), this review is mainly concerned with their all-day breakfast menu.

Big Breakfast is hearty, but a little on the expensive side at almost $15.

A good bruschetta, available in vegetarian (shown above), chicken and bacon versions. The recipe is localised by way of a large hunk of long loaf as the base. This is the largest bruschetta I've ever seen, though the recipient feels a half-loaf would be appropriate given the long wait for service.

Eggs benedict with salmon: divine! Again, a little touch of Fiji in the form of long loaf slices instead of English muffin.

Italian eggs ... Kania Tiko praises these as the best scrambled eggs he has had in a long time. The sausage (cabanosi?) adds a nice contrasting taste and visual.

These coffee cups are beautiful, but a real ergonomic pain ... to the point of being a bit silly. Form follows function (or should for kitchenware); it's difficult to drink from this cup, and novelty of the design doesn't make up for that.

This little item is on the kid's breakfast menu as 'Toad in the hole'. If you come from British stock and know what a real toad in the hole looks like: redirect your righteous anti-American anger into hunting down the multitude of other names for the 'Egg in the hole/basket/nest'.

Whilst we have nothing but praise for the food, the front-of-house staff always seem to give us pause. The first time we were offered an iced drink on the house as an apology for delayed service only to have the offer withdrawn a minute later: "Sorry; that was meant for the next table."

The second time there was an ordering problem involving too many dishes and items that had been excluded from the order. This took 2 attempts to disentangle. Whilst we're a little puzzled as to why the waiter thought 4 dishes per child was a sensible interpretation of the order, the issue was solved to everyone's satisfaction with a minimum of fuss ... but it still took about 45 minutes for all the food to appear.

We're withholding a thumbs-up until the service issues sort themselves out, but the good food and pleasant atmosphere mean a thumbs-down would not be justified either.

In Summary

The Mango Café: Ratu Sukuna Rd, Nasese
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sun: 6:30am - 9:00pm
Spend:: $7 - $20 per person

The Daily Catch

2009-03-13T08:00:00.006+12:00

Closed ... just like their predecessors. Kania Tiko believes there is a curse on the building: every business operating from this location seems to go under.

After being distinctly unimpressed with The Daily Catch in the first instance, many people suggested that they've pulled up their socks, are back in the game, and didn't deserve the panning they got in the first review.

So here we are again.

The concept remains the same: you pick the fish and they fry it up on the spot with a parcel of chips. The fish options range from $5 to $10. Mussels and other extras sometimes show up as well.

The serves are generous: 3 or 4 pieces of fish and slightly more chips than one person wants to eat. The fish in batter is good. The chips are soggy. A lemon wedge was included with each serve, but no tomato sauce: you can buy that separately. There were no chillies included in the serve or on offer at the counter.

Each meal was dropped into a white paper bag (no cardboard tray) that was soon damp, translucent from the oil, and broke open. Given that every other serious fish and chip shop in town has a takeaway box (which works well), there's no reason to disadvantage your customers with poor packaging.

Coke and Pepsi fridges in the shop offer the usual range of canned acid to wash down the oily remnants of your lunch.

On the day I visited there were several other things that stood out, none of them particularly worrying by themselves, but adding up to a negative impression.

The display fridge had condensation problems preventing a good viewing of the fish on offer. Understandable when you have a display fridge in a non-air-conditioned environment, but still annoying and unsightly.

The fryer vent hood was not working that day, so they had a desk fan blowing across the top of the fryers ... ensuring each new visitor to the shop got hit with the smell of hot oil as they came through the door.

Whilst I don't approve of aquariums in fish and chip shops (it seems rude to stare at the little fellows while you wait for their bigger cousins to get fried up for lunch) they don't bother me ... but this fish tank featured a couple of tough little fellows swimming in water that was vomit green.

Add to that the blaring serenade of a Christian radio station being piped into a room with bare concrete walls ... and I don't ever want to go back.

No matter what your opinion of The Daily Catch, you can't help but miss the old Cakaudrove Fish.

In Summary

The Daily Catch: 11 Bureta St, Samabula
Opening Hours:: Monday - Saturday: Lunch
Spend: $5 - $10 per person
Verdict:: Thumbs-down

Merchant Curry House

2009-03-04T16:33:00.005+12:00

Unless you are accompanied by a regular, your first visit to Merchant Curry House may be a little strange. This small eatery is tucked away at the back of the Merchant Club parking garage, beneath the Purple Haze nighclub.

The menu board has no prices, and little relation to what's available. The food warmers are perpetually empty. A large cardboard cut-out of a mutant iguana oversees all proceedings. Don't let any of this put you off: you are very close to a good Fiji-style curry.

The best approach is to ask what's available. Our visit coincided with the availability of the chicken and lamb curries, and these were ordered with a vegetable curry side, dhal and roti.

The lamb curry (above) was a little on the bland side, but tender. A good meal.

This excellent chicken curry deserves a bit of explanation. The picture above is the 'live' chicken curry (as opposed to the 'frozen' chicken curry). The 'live' curry is $1 dearer and is prepared from freshly slaughtered free-range chicken (junglee murgi). The Hindustani swear that these make better curries than the 'soft', commercially farmed chickens. They also reckon that meat curry is tasteless without the bones.

We have heard good reports about the goat and various seafood curries but haven't had the occasion to try them yet. Let us know if you have.

You're expected to eat with your fingers (as God intended) but spoons are provided.

The proprietors seem quite flexible with requests: less roti, more roti, swap this for that and give me more of the other ... we heard all of these, and all were accommodated.

The members from the Merchant Club next door occasionally shout orders through the window: the curry house doubles up as the club kitchen and provider of 'curry chasers'.

Should you chose to eat in, be prepared to make conversation with the squash players passing on their way to the squash courts via the stairs ... you will also have to ignore your conscience as these masters of lunchtime exercise survey your artery clogging endeavours.

On that note, as is our tradition when reviewing curry houses, here are the oily remains of the meal. What can we say? Good Fiji curry always seems to carry a cholesterol tax.

Merchants Curry House accepts phone orders and (according to their sign) offer some catering services.

In Summary

Merchant Curry House: Merchant Club,
Cnr of Butt St and MacArthur St
Phone:: 9229 457
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sat: All day
Spend:: $3 - $7.50 per person

Chinese fast food at the Handicraft Centre

2009-03-02T11:24:00.003+12:00

How in the name of all that is tasty does one review an eatery with no name?

Casting around for inspiration, I wandered off to This Is Why You're Fat, a website dedicated to photographically documenting strange American foods that are hard to name, and even harder to explain.

While staring at The Sandwich of Knowledge it became clear to me that inspiration would not strike; so here I am again, reviewing a Chinese fast food hole-in-the-wall located behind the stairs, under the carpark, at the Suva Handicraft Centre.

The Lunch in Suva crew usually just refer to it as "The Handicraft Centre".

"Steak and Eggs at the Handicraft Centre?" someone will ask; and given that there's only one place at the Handicraft Centre selling food, everyone knows what he's talking about.

And now you do too.

The aforementioned steak and eggs is the signature dish. Several slabs of dalo and a good serving of thinly-sliced, marinated steak make up the base. Add to that the better part of a whole onion (fried up in the same soy sauce marinade as the steak) and top the whole plate off with 2 sunny-side-up eggs ... and a lettuce leaf.

This steak will not win awards; but at $7, it is generous, tasty, and hits the spot if you're hungry.

The chop suey is usually served quite hot in large amounts. The chicken (pictured above) and beef versions are par for the course. Unless you're running close to broke, you will want to steer clear of the sausage chop suey ... and likewise the combination (beef, chicken and sausage).

The soup must be mentioned: I haven't tried it -- and therefore can't recommend it -- but a large number of patrons seem to give it their full attention.

Service is prompt. Pay at your table when the food is delivered. The place is a little on the rough side, but busy enough. I usually eat at the concrete tables outside the establishment (the space inside is small and stuffy). Takeaway is a popular option, particularly if the weather is bad.

In Summary

'Hole in the Wall' at the Suva Handicraft Centre: Stinson Parade
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sat: Lunch
Spend:: $5 - $7 per person

Henry's Kitchen at the Suva Bowling Club

2009-02-24T16:02:00.004+12:00

Henry is a tall heavyset man with ridiculous hair, plying his artery clogging and arse expanding trade at the Suva Bowling Club, after spending many years doing the same at the Lawn Tennis Club.

Henry's speciality is the massive serve, and large rear ends and protruding stomachs of the clientèle indicate that he knows what his punters want, and that he serves it up to them by the plateful.

The menu is entirely composed of meals that are usually described by cliché ridden writers (like us) as "hearty". If by "hearty" we mean "likely to cause heart disease" then this is entirely accurate.

In fairness to Henry, the meals are not in themselves particularly unhealthy, one just expects that the effects of a Morgan Spurlock type experiment (one where every plate must be finished clean) could be quite dire.

This Wednesday menu is fairly typical and includes:

Roast Pork with Dalo
Whole Pan Fried Sabutu with Spicy Sauce - The "Shock and Awe" dish of the menu, a huge ugly bastard that fills your plate, packs your stomach, impresses your friends, and empties your wallet ($15)
Fish and Chips - an old classic done well, always hot and fresh
Various Chinese type meals: Beef Black Bean, Pork Chowmein, Chilli Chicken, Spicy Pork Fried Rice.

If you want something not on the menu, it usually pays to ask. If they have the ingredients and know how to do it, they will make it.

We went for the most popular item on the menu: Meaty Bones with Dalo and Cabbage, and decided to try something chinesey as well - the Chicken with Mushroom.

The venerable Sui is full of artery coating goodness, big hunks of meaty bones in a fatty broth, three slabs of heavy carbs, some cabbage just so that the colour green is represented, with chilli and lemon. Wash that down with some of the cheapest draught beer in town and it will make you happy that millions of years of evolution have given you a digestive system. It may also guarantee a very unproductive afternoon when you get back to office.

Minus point: There is no good reason to skimp on the lemon, a bigger slice (or maybe two slices) would be good. You can always ask for an extra slice, but I never remember and then it gets too hard to find the waitress again (especially if its busy). Just give more lemon dammit, not like it would cost them much.

The Chicken Mushroom was chosen as the representative of the pseudo-chinese part of the menu. The vegetables are plenty and fresh (except for the mushrooms and bamboo shoots which obviously come from a can), and the chicken is obviously a fine specimen of battery farmed frozen Gallus gallus domesticus.

Certainly tasty enough, and a suitably large serve but nothing special. A more serious objection is that they seem to have poured far too much of the brine from the bamboo shoot can into the pot, and this taste is overpowering and offputting.

These are what bones look like after they are done. They say Pirahnas can do a better job of stripping a cow to its bones, but I put it to you that their table manners are poorer, and good luck getting blog posts out of them afterwards.

If you come on a Saturday you get to see what that green bit out there in the sun is actually for. It's like billiards (targeting balls at other balls, copious beer drinking) but the table is bigger and they don't throw you out for getting on it.

They have parking, this is good. But no toothpicks, this is bad.

In Summary

Henry's Kitchen: Suva Bowling Club,
Cnr of Victoria Parade and Grahame St,
Suva
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sat: Lunch and Dinner
Spend:: $7 - $15 per person

Kimbab 153 at Kundan Singh Supermarket

2009-02-05T16:09:00.014+12:00

Kimbab 153 is not a restaurant; not even a shop ... it seems to exist mainly as a wooden table inside the front of Kundan Singh's Supermarket, adorned with the merchandise and a small sign; a small stall run by a small group of Korean women.

Kimbab (or gimbap, or kimbap, depending on who you listen to) is a great little Korean lunch or snack: a variety of fillings with steamed rice in a dried seaweed roll (similar to the Japanese makizushi).

There are 5 different offerings from Kimbab 153: Vegetable, Original, Tuna, Chicken and Kimchi. Kimchi is my personal preference: it has a delightful chilli bite to it. Prices range from $4.99 to $5.99

These tasty little lunches are well packaged. Each serve comes in a clear plastic takeaway container, complete with a small dose of soy dipping sauce. Major points for a nice label that lists all the ingredients at a readable size.

Obtaining a kimbab pack has become a little more difficult since the US Embassy construction project started ... so get in early if you want a selection of fillings to choose from. Turning up after 12:30 means you're going to get left with a choice of the less interesting ones (tuna and chicken) or nothing at all.

Occasionally, the ladies make the rolls on-site ... and sometimes they offer free samples.

Update [Picky Eater - 28 Feb 2009]: Someone's been reading Kania Tiko's comment below (or his mind). A trip past the Kimbab 153 stall today revealed the usual selection of kimbab ... and small tubs of kimchi at $5 each. Excellent!

By way of warning for those who haven't tried kimchi before, the 'small' tub should last you a few days: you're not going to want to eat it all in one sitting. Pop the leftovers in the fridge, use it as a condiment for your meals, and enjoy the health benefits & some extra peace of mind

In Summary

Kimbab 153: Kundan Singh's Supermarket,
Prince's Road,
Tamavua
Opening Hours:: Mon - Sat: 10:00am - 2:00pm
Spend:: $5 - $6 per person
Verdict:: Thumbs-up