Thirteen Questions with PPS_Dougseacat

1) Where are you now?
Where am I? I am in my little dimly lit writer’s cave, which is both squalid and comforting at the same time. I despise overhead fluorescent lights but I’m not quite sure if my solution of using a crappy floor lamp pointed at the wall to avoid screen glare is an effective alternative.

2) Was a career in writing a preconceived dream of your youth, or were you unexpectedly discovered like a Hollywood Starlet in a diner serving lukewarm ragout?
I have wanted to make a career out of writing since I was in the 2nd grade, more or less. Since I’m slow, I didn’t figure out how to actually make that work until my early 30’s, which means my life has been forestalled by a decade or longer. I’m not sure if the Grim Reaper will take this into consideration when my expiration date comes up. I have an excellent idea in mind regarding writing a “Starving Writer’s Cookbook” which I think would be fairly amusing, if of limited culinary usefulness.

I’ve been writing as long as I can remember. I think having an obsession with writing regardless of your successes or failures is necessary to actually be one. I was fortunate enough to have friends who enjoyed my work and were willing to put my name in front of the right people when opportunities came around. That was how I lucked into working freelance for Privateer Press back in the early days of the Witchfire Trilogy, when we still had no idea if anyone would even buy the material. After the company started to take off thanks to WARMACHINE, I had written a metric ton of setting material for the RPG line and this put me in a nice position to accept the position of full time staff writer when it was offered by Matt Wilson. That was right when they had decided to launch HORDES and when NQM had started. The first work I got to do as a full time writer was writing Primal while simultaneously cranking out a ridiculous amount of material for the magazine, which was like boot camp for writing.

3) Which of the Coven is Egregore’s favourite?
I honestly don’t think the Egregore sees people in such a way as to feel any preferences. Then again, it did select three rather attractive and scantily clad young women as its companions, so I might be mistaken. Perhaps there is the soul of some lonely and frustrated former Orgoth governor inside the sphere. If so, I’d imagine its preference would shift depending on who was taking the time to lovingly wipe the blood off its surfaces and sharpen his spiky bits. Selene has always struck me as the most nurturing of the three, but certainly Morgaen is a witty conversationalist. Nor can one underestimate the reassuring qualities of Helleana, whom I’ve heard is a great listener when she is not plunging her ritual blade into the bowels of her adversaries.

4) Gorten’s awesomeness is without question (Just ask the Deathjack). Where will he crop up next?
I’m not entirely sure, although I’m thinking there is a lot of work going on in the Thornwood region, enough to keep any mercenary happy. You might recall we saw him near the end of Legends being hired by an Ordic general to fight through the Khadorans around Fellig. I’m sure he’s having some excellent battles in the vicinity, earning coin from whoever needs him to apply Forgefather and his dual hand cannon to obliterate their enemies.

Maybe I’ll have a chance to provide Gorten a small place in the fiction for the mercenary force book, although some of the details of those matters are still being gnawed upon. There is a lot of ground to cover in the various force books and not much space so I’m going to have to focus on just a few casters at a time. Regardless, the Rhulfolk are favorites of mine, and Gorten foremost among them. He was the first warcaster I played in the game, and the first model I painted.

5) Seacat is a name applied to some water craft. Are you, in fact, an aquatic vessel?
Sadly, no, I bear little resemblance to an aquatic craft. There is considerable debate among my relatives as to the origin of the surname, although there are more of us than you might expect, scattered across the US. The most likely theory I’ve heard is that the name was probably originally spelled slightly differently when our German ancestors arrived on American shores somewhere in the early 1800’s. My preferred story was the one my grandfather used to tell which had to do with a shipwreck discovered by another passing vessel after a storm. The crew of the vessel heard a strange caterwauling amid the flotsam and sent a boat to investigate. They thought they had found a half-drowned cat, but it was instead a baby, wrapped up and unhappy. This lone survivor they called a “seacat” after the manner of their discovering him, which then became his surname. So far as I know, this story is utterly without factual merit and was likely invented by my grandfather or someone else in the family, but facts are stupid.

6) Morvahnna’s clearly jealous of Kaya’s youth and beauty. How long before she sends her off in the woods with a kindly Tharn Ravager, only to have Kaya flee and end up living with Rhulic immigrants?
Morvahna may be quite a bit older, but she has kept herself up quite well. She’s quite sexy in her own right, if certainly with a bit of a prickly personality. Morvahna is probably a little too self-centered to spend much time plotting Kaya’s demise, since she only pays attention to those who are of a rank to threaten her own standing. But I will admit the notion of Kaya shacking up with six or seven Rhulfolk and the hilarious hijacks that would ensue has its appeal. I also don’t know if any of the Rhulfolk could endure sharing space with argus, warpwolves, gorax, and satyrs.

7) Lost Hemisphere: Marshy Blog, Boggy Blog, or Blog Most Likely To Spawn Swamp Gobbers?
Boggy blog has a nice sound to it. Makes me think of Ord.

The Butcher was depicted as being captured by Sword Knights. Did this actually occur in playtesting, or were you making it all up?
I am fairly certain there has never been an occasion in playtest where the Butcher has been seriously threatened by sword knights, although I think with the right circumstances and a flanking ’jack it could happen. Nonetheless you throw enough guys at someone and eventually there will be a lucky swipe or two. I should note, as a minor correction, that the Butcher was definitely not “captured.” He was injured, presumably badly so, and surrounded by several sword knights who seemed very reluctant to try to close in on him. You will get to enjoy a little tale picking up on this topic where Legends left off in an upcoming issue of NQM.

9) Is there any one character you enjoy writing most, or will you wuss out like Walton did when I asked him which faction appealed most to his personal aesthetics?
I know we always like to say all the characters are our favorites, and to some degree some of that is even true. I like writing for a lot of our characters. But I do have a special fondness for Madrak Ironhide, the poor bastard. I feel a strong connection to him since I have had the chance to play a more significant role in the unfolding of that particular story arc. Some of the others, particularly those from WARMACHINE, I inherited. While they are still fun to write, I got to have a little more leeway with some of the HORDES characters. The good Professor Pendrake is another character that is always a joy to return to. I was glad to get the chance to give him some prominent screen time in Metamorphosis and hopefully there will be other excuses in the future. Other than that, I really hope I get the chance to get back to the pirates at some point. Writing the pirate fiction in both NQM#12 and their book was a blast, particularly Broadsides Bart (if you’ll forgive the pun).

10) Just how big of a bribe would it take to get Ernie, legend among Pyg Aces and underappreciated hero of WMHC2, into Trollblood canon?
You’ll have to make your appropriate bribery offers to Jason Soles and/or Matt Wilson. While I’ve been lucky enough to have a few of my characters eventually wind up in the game, that’s not generally how it works. Sometimes I’ll create a neat side character that captures imaginations and we find a place for it in the game, but more often Matt or Chris draw something awesome and then we figure out who they are.

I agree the poor pygs haven’t gotten much screen time and we have yet to get into their heads or provide them with some proper characters. Then again, with so many warlocks and warcasters it’s hard for the little guy to get his proper dues. Particularly those plucky pygs, who are now operating wartime hardware atop dire trolls when not so long ago they were lounging in the forest without so much as a stitch of clothes or any tools or weapons to speak of. They are an inspiration to the lazy pyg in all of us.

11) Faithfight! Morrow vs Menoth vs Thamar vs Dhunia in a barfight. Go!
The cool thing is three of them are involved in a perpetual “bar fight” in Urcaen, called the War of Souls. The results are as yet undetermined. Dhunia has stayed out of that fight by avoiding walking into Urcaen. I guess maybe someday she can serve as a designated driver for Toruk if he decides to see what the “real” gods are doing. The weirdest thing in such a fight is we really don’t know what kind of “body” Dhunia has. She never bothers to walk around or take on the guise of a person, so she’d certainly be the wild card in this kind of fight. I have to say the battle doesn’t feel quite right without the Devourer Wurm in there to balance things out. But I guess if he gets drunk Menoth will convince himself that Dhunia is his ancient enemy and that will liven things up.

Dhunia has the edge here since, as the embodiment of an entire world. Then again, attitude is a lot in a good bar brawl, and Dhunia isn’t particularly aggressive. She’s fierce on the defense, but might not have the killer instinct to finish things. I think in the end of the day I’d have to put my money on Thamar, despite being an underdog. She’s just smarter and more cunning than the rest, and no one is better at exploiting weaknesses. She’s the ultimate dirty fighter.

12 What *really* happened to Pendrake’s trusty sidekicks?
Depends on which ones you mean. Some of them have of course gone on to the hereafter, after being devoured by various horrible critters. The Department of Extraordinary Zoology is a dangerous field. But both Lynus and Edrea have survived and prospered. I expect we’ll hear more from them in due time.

13 Chris Walton named you to be the next victim. How will you wreak your revenge?
You should probably pester Jason Soles next. He always has some interesting things to say. Also he has a cat skeleton in his office, which is nice.

Round two and the 500pt matches are done. Ken and Derrick have stepped in for Greg and Eric, and have thus assumed their score tallies.

Grim made a desperate shot that paid off, Durgen got all pushy, and Calandra totally jinxed her opponent’s dice, making the player standings as follows:

Of course, all you heathens are really interested in, yet again,  is knowing the standings for your picks…

The real question is, how the smeg did DocBungle correctly guess the winning VP’s of the Calandra/Morghoul game??? That’s just freaky!

UltimateLegion pulls ahead with a healthy lead, but with 5 pts per win awarded next round, plus bonuses, it’s still up in the air! Whee!

Tune in, fellow Lost, for Monday we start the 750pt lists…

So I knew it was coming… I’d been told to expect it… but I was still on tenderhooks waiting for a very special parcel to arrive at the front door of the Gdaycave.

This afternoonI walked through the door to find it waiting on my desk.

Okay, so why was I so excited? Let’s take a wander through the issue and enjoy the niftiness. The answer to my excitement is, of course, revealed the moment we get past the table of contents… and it even came with a bonus.

That’s my Castigator! Wheee! Sculpted by CaptainSpud as a birthday gift, I painted up that hunk of metal and putty for the first WarmaHordes Challenge. Confident in its stability, I took it with me on vacation to Quebec in the hope of finding a cool Jack About Town opportunity.

As a bonus, online pal Darren MacGregor got his ink on the same page! We’re, like, blood brothers or something now! Yay for his remarkable dedication to his PressGangery! Gratz on making print, Dazza!

November and December releases look very exciting for me, and painful to my wallet, with a whole bunch of Retribution stuff coming out in both months, stacked on top of both the Fennblades and Runeshapers this month. Darn, but my finances curse the name of Privateer, while at the same time my wallet seems just so eager to throw money at my FLGS…

Next we get a remarkable gallery of models from the 2009 Formula P3 Grandmaster Painting Competition.

I don’t know if it’s a taboo subject, I’ve never seen it discussed, but I have to say  that I am amazed – AMAZED at the degree of painting skill shown by the participants, and I’m thrilled to see so many women participating in what’s stereotypically such a male-dominated hobby. I know we have remarkable women playing the games (*waves hi to Jen and Michelle*), but to see them performing so well in things like this just makes me feel proud that there’s no evidence of an “old boy’s network” or the like in the judging.

 Major props to the Judges, Kudos to all the winners –  notably to Jen Haley for her… um… Haley,  Susan Wachowski for her frankly astounding Circle warpack, and Marike Reimer for my favourite piece, if only because of my bias towards Menite models -

I just love this thing, the Redeemer wading through the swamp to smack the heck out of Asphycious, with thralls  – and one of the Combine – emerging from the brackish depths to defend their commander. The tableau just makes me happy… and the freehand on the carapace is enough to make me cry.

Special mention to Jason Lilje’s Drakhun as well… buy the mag, look it up on page 19 and enjoy the awesomeness. Oh, and Rich Curtiss needs a slap for hoarding all those trophies. Awesome work, everyone – trophies well deserved!

Next up is some Mk II awesomeness, with writeups for Caine, High Reclaimer, Butcher and Skarre. I’m posting Silent Bob’s pic here because, well, I love me some Menoth and it looks freakin’ awesome, but I have to say – I’ve flicked back to Skarre’s page about half a dozen times now to enjoy the art. It’s freakin’ awesome, I love the way the sigils are circling and arcing on her dagger. Again, buy the magazine. She’s on p47.

After some sneaky Cygnaran concept art on p48 which I won’t go into because I love to tease the Cygnarans, we get to a water featuer terrain building article, and then onto one of the recurring features I enjoy most in this magazine – the Gavyn Kaye files. Considering it’s a two-character article I thought it might have been a bit longer, but it still has a passage from Bolden Rebald, so it gets my approval.  Of interest: Deneghra has some unique Slayers? Future character jack maybe?

Next are the lists from the 2009 masters and the Hardcore Championship. Once more, major props to all the winners, even if none of them were playing Protectorate, Trollbloods or Retribution. Fie on all you Cygnar and Cryx players and all your winningness… I’m namedropping Jason Watts and Malone Screen, since they both walked awaywith medals and neither played Cryx or Cygnar. I don’t care how darn pretty Jess Hodges’ Stormblades are, or that Justin Herring won Masters without using the Deathjack, I refuse to name any of the Cygnar or Cryx players, I…. Dammit!

Pendrake encounters the Totem Hunter, before Guts & Gears looks at one of my favourite warbeasts in terms of concept, the Satyr. Behold on p71 a very very awesome piece of art, a Gnarlhorn shattering some Kriel shields. Of course, we all know Bradley and Ernie are just out of shot and about to teach that goat a lesson, but that doesn’t take anything away from how cool the art is. Seriously – buy the mag, look at it. It’s cool, and Todd Arrington’s Iceblade River Sect painting article is pretty darn spiffy too. I really like the light blue/silver armour he’s painted.

Also in Guts & Gears is a piece of warjack porn by Eric Deschamps that I never thought I’d even want to see; an exploded Wroughthammer Rockram diagram. There’s something about the inner workings of a warjack that’s not as atypical as the crabjacks (or the new Basher), but still isn’t quite the normal bideal steamjack we see from the main factions…

Rounding out the issue is the Order of the Golden Crucible, some Hardcore Searforge, the winners of the Shades of Gray challenge (Grats Melissa Mayhew, even if your entry was an unholy Cryxian abomination that should be purged in purifying flame in the name of Menoth!), Tracy Constantine’s latest Drawn & Quartered, and the usual teaser for the next issue. Order of the Fist, the Templar and what happened to the Butcher? Protectorate and Khador force book previews? Sign me up! GenCon costume pics are a bonus. Of interest: Order of Keeping? Possible hint of something to come?

Much love to the NQ team, and now that I’ve finished writing this post up so it can go up in short order, I look forward to actually being able to take the time to pore over the articles in minute detail.

Go! Buy Magazine! Salivate!

by Scott “Killraven” MacNeil

WMHC2
Scenario: Command Positions
War Torn Fronts Map 6

Scott MacNeil – Skorne deploy first
Derrick Gibson – Trollbloods deploy second

This match was arranged quite hastily thanks the unforeseen changing of the players involved, Derrick and I planned to meet over the weekend for an extended match but real life prevailed for a quick-and-dirty slugger of denial, utter dice failure, and dirty scenario skulduggery.

Turn One
Skorne
Cetrati advance in shield wall towards the shallow water. Morgh0ul casts “Unrelenting” on Molik Karn. Ancestral Guardian, Molik Karn, Titan Gladiator, and the Cyclops Savage advance with the shield wall unit. Gobbers drop a fog cloud to cover half of the unit and Morgh0ul while the Void Spirit runs ahead to approach the control point.

Trollbloods
Brun and Lug advance through the forest. Bouncer advances with the Winter Troll forced for “Rime” and presses forward. Calandra casts “Star Crossed” and follows behind the Winter Troll. Horthol advances ahead, and his cadre of Longriders run ahead of the army to the center.

No surprises here, Skorne advances ahead of the shield wall protection, trying to avoid the pitfalls of terrain while Trollbloods chew up the map and give Skorne plenty to worry about thanks to mobility.

Turn Two
Skorne
Morghoul upkeeps Unrelenting on Molik Karn. Cetrati advance in shield wall, inching towards the shallow water. Molik Karn advances around the unit and riles to replenish Morghoul’s fury. Ancestral Guardian, Gladiator, Morghoul and the Cyclops advance to the right of the unit. Gobbers drop another fog cloud to cover the titan and Cyclops from a charge from the Long Riders. Void Spirit runs ahead to penetrate deep in enemy territory.

Trollbloods
Brun and Lug retreat a bit in a small advance behind the shallow water. Horthol run ahead of the Longriders who fan out to cheat the gobber cloud on he next turn. Calandra advances and casts “Misfortune” at the Void Spirit with a miss, casts “Star Crossed” again. Nobby the Bouncer advances and uses animus to “Bump” one of the Longriders. Winter Troll advances with Nobby to put “Freezer” on another close Longrider.

The Swamp Gobbers really earn their measly 15 points through frustratingly blocked charge lanes. Calandra’s dancing denial coupled with payback spells from both the Winter Troll and Bouncer prevent any real alpha striking.

Turn Three
Skorne
Morghoul upkeeps “Unrelenting”.
Centrati advance in shield wall into the shallow water, falling just short of capturing the control point as a unit. Cyclops advances to the right of the Ancestral Guardian who stands pat. Gobbers advance to place another fog cloud to cover the Cyclops from an impending charge from Horthol. Titan Gladiator uses animus and charges the closest Longrider falling well short, but close enough to catch the unit within range of “Subdue”. Molik Karn advances around the Cetrati and forces for a fate ward and uses his animus to gain an additional move to contest the control point. Morghoul advances and uses Molik’s animus to gain an additional move to keep his beats within his control area. Void Spirit runs to base-to-base contact with a Longrider.

Trollbloods
Horthol slams the Titan for 3 damage knocking him back a couple of inches and knocking him down, unfortunately not far enough to clear the Longriders from “Subdue” effect. Horthol follows up against the Titan and rolls the hit to score a critical stagger and inflict another 7 damage points. Nobby charges the downed titan to score another 11 damage from his thick armoured hide. Winter Troll advances and attempts to throw the downed Titan, but fails the strength check.

Calandra advances and pops her feat, casts “Star-crossed” and drops “Freezer” on Nobby and the Winter Troll. Longriders advance taking a free strike from the Void Spirit who fails to score any damage on the attack. Another Longrider attacks the now corporeal Spirit but fails to destroy the sol despite two solid hits. Lug charges Molik Karn scoring 3 damage points, Molik unrelents away from a follow-up attack. Brun advances and casts “Stonehold” on himself and Lug to contest the control point.

More Swamp Gobber love, and the first epic dice fail of the game. The Void Spirit should have crucified the Longrider with a four die free strike, but a horrific damage of 7 failed to score a single wound on the Buffalo. Calandra wastes her feat rightfully thinking that the Longriders would have been mincemeat to the attack-that-never-came.

Turn Four
Skorne
Upkeeps “Unrelenting”.
Cyclops Savage charges Horthol and scores two direct hits to knock the Troll off of his Buffalo. Molik Karn charges Lug to score some very impressive damage and drops fate ward on himself to prevent a counter charge. Titan stands and is immediately frozen in place thanks to the stagger and freezer animus effect. Ancestral Guardian inches forward to get Horthol within melee range, but without a soul to power an attack. Gobbers advance and drop another fog cloud within the shallow water to cover the Cetrati and Morghoul. Morghoul advance ahead and pops his feat, catching all Troll beasts within his control area. Void Spirit advances ahead to catch another Longrider in base-to base contact, surrendering the control point. Centrati advance within the water to score a single combined melee attack against Brun from a couple of points of damage.

Trollbloods
Lug slugs Molik Karn for minimal damage who unrelents away from the solo to put a Longrider within melee range and Calandra within charge range. Two Longriders fail their tough rolls due to free strikes from Molik Karn and the Void Spirit to consolidate their position within the control area. The now corporeal Void Spirit falls to a single melee attack from one of the buffalo cavalry, while another slams the Savage 1″ towards Morghoul. Calandra casts “Befuddle” on Molik Karn to force the Cyclops to enter a forest to foil a charge from the character beast, casts “Star-crossed” and lurks behind Nobby. Winter Troll desperately wants to throw the Titan once again, but is caught within Morghoul’s feat and whales harmlessly against the Gladiator. He scores a chain attack to place a spray template catching, but missing, two Cetrati and the Ancestral Guardian. Nobby pounds more damage points on the Gladiator. Brun slays a single Cetrati trooper not within shield wall and Horthol scores a few wounds against the Savage.Trollbloods score their first control point of the game.

Trollbloods go for scenario points by consolidating their army around the rough terrain since they are stuck too close to Skorne’s melee heavy hitters. In a stroke of self-preservation Calandra pulls off the befuddle defensive tactic against Molik Karn having to worry about the too-close Void Spirit. Trolls have a tough time cracking the Skorne armour.

Turn Five
Skorne
Morghoul drops “Unrelenting”.
Cyclops Savage frenzies scoring damage points on Horthol.
Molik Karn turns in the forest to confront Lug and slays the big bear in two hits; Makes another attack to score serious damage on Brun and fate wards. Cetrati advance in shield wall and combine melee to hit Brun, but fail to score damage thanks to “Stonehold”. Ancestral Guardian spends his single soul token to slay the dismounted Horthol. Morghoul advances and heals two aspects on the Gladiator and camps remaining fury. Titan Gladiator pounds the Winter Troll into a messy pulp.

Trollbloods
Things are looking grim for Calandra, she casts “Befuddle” on the fury laden Savage driving it towards Morghoul. She cast “Star Crossed” and advances behind a hedge row for protection from Molik Karn. Longriders consolidate their position over the hill securing their game winning control point. Bouncer retreats to cover Calandra from any charge attempts. Brun casts “Stonehold” on himself and swings at a Centrati but fails to crack the shield wall. Trollbloods score their second control point.

At this point it is looking really poor for the trolls to pull off a warlock or army kill, they have simply lost too much hitting power and repeated failed tough rolls. Derrick pulls away to deny Skorne any victory by setting up a sixth turn scenario win.

Turn Six
Skorne
Morghoul pulls all fury from the Savage to keep the beast in check and a possible frenzy.
Molik Karn frenzies and slaughters Brun where he stands in the shallow water.
Cyclops Savage runs towards the hill, falling well short of the Longriders. Morghul uses Molik Karn’s animus to gain an additional movement and charges his own Cyclops falling short of melee range. Cetrati advance in shield wall to the clear the shallow water towards Calandra but retain the control point. Titan Gladiator advances towards Nobby, but is too full of fury to pull off a successful attack. Gobbers advance and drop concealment on Morghoul. Morghoul uses his extra movement to advance to the edge of the hill and contest the final control point in base-to-base contact with a longrider, he camps two fury and the Cyclops is within his control area. Skorne collects one control point for the game.

While I was writing up the battle report, it became clear that I messed up on the frenzy rules and actually performed an illegal move in using a frenzied beast’s animus. I’ll completely ignore that error in rules for this match, as the end result was actually really cool to watch and the end result would have been the same in any case.

Trollbloods
Nobby charges the Gladiator and scores three solid hits on the Titan to drop it down at last. One Longrider manages to pull off a miracle roll for a slam against Morghul, dropping him from the hill, Morgul transfers the hit damage to the Savage, and eats a couple of points of falling damage. Morghoul is outside of the control point, granting the Trollbloods victory through scenario.

Winner: Trollbloods 4 VP to Skorne’s 9 VP

This was a quick two-hour game that was very enjoyable for both parties, Derrick’s sheer jubilation at rolling a “10″ to hit Morghul for the slam was priceless.

Thirteen Questions with PPS_Walton

1. Where are you now?
Quietly munching on French fries and listening to a crappy documentary on the History Channel. That’s how I roll on a Thursday night.

2. Harby flashes her teenage legs, but Feora’s fully encased. Are Feora’s legs wrinkly and covered with varicose veins and cellulite, or did she just forget to shave?
I seriously doubt any woman who walks in those heels all day has an ounce of cellulite on her legs. I also imagine that if anyone in the Iron Kingdoms has invented the “hot” wax treatment, it’d be Feora. I think the real question here is if the juice in her caboose is real or an armor plate.

3. Are you satisfied that Amon in Mk II is as awesome as he appears in “Crack the Whip”?
Anyone who’s so diesel that he can walk around a battle field bare-chested is awesome in any version of the game.

4. It’s said that you’re the Hugh Heffner of Warjack Porn, stripping off their armour and exposing all their bits for all the world to see. Do you actually own a quilted smoking jacket?
Sorry, no. I hope that doesn’t make me the Larry Flint of Warjack Porn. I am saving up for a fez, though.

5. Which faction’s aesthetic appeals most to you personally?
I tend to view Warmachine factions like I do the ladies – I love ‘em in all shapes and sizes. Why narrow it down? Seriously, there’s a lot in every faction that I dig – its impossible to pick a favorite.

6. You seem to have some significant sway on the posing of the sculpts; Have you ever tried to get them to sculpt a character picking their nose or something similarly unhygenic? Gobbers don’t count .
Well, I got Matt to break his “No Dancing Poses” rule with Calandra. I guess that’s something.

7. Lost Hemisphere: Pastel Blog, Watercolour Blog, or Blog Most Likely To Draw On The Walls With Crayon?
Smeering the walls with fec- oh, never mind.

8. Mahna Mahna?
Do-do-do-do-od–do?

9. Have you ever drawn Beta Ray Bill? Cos he’s totally awesome, ya know.
Holy Cow! Yes Beta Ray Bill is indeed awesome. Who else is cool enough to lift Mjolnir besides the Mighty Thor? Beta Fricken’ Ray Bill, that’s who. Walt Simonson was the best run on Thor EVER. I even have a big Beta Ray Bill action figure on my shelf at home. I’ll bet you’re staggered that I even know who Beta Ray Bill is, aren’t you? Mess with the bull, and you’ll get the horns.

10. The Myrmidon codpieces were inspired by Blackadder’s “Black Russian”, weren’t they. It’s okay, you can admit it.
You know what was even cooler about Beta Ray Bill? Odin gave him his own copy of Mjolnir. How’s that for awesome? Beta Ray Bill essentially beats the hell out of his son, and Odin is all, like, “Hey you deserve a reward!” Beta Ray Bill is pretty damn cool. And Bartolo Montador was patterned off of actor Brian Blessed, who played Richard IV in The Blackadder. And Myrmidon’s need big codpieces to hide their many-struted junk. There needs to be more Beta Ray Bill in this question.

11. Bodgerfight! The bodgers fight for the right to ask Keelie to the prom. Who wins?
Izzy, the electro-gobber. It makes sense in a nerdy-guy-gets-the-girl-80s-teen-movie-kind of way.

12. Many roleplayers subconsciously invest a portion of themselves into their characters, to the point where you can learn much about a person by their character’s reaction. What does the Epic Hoarluk’s concept art really say about you?
That I’m gnarled, old and have a bad attitude about everything. If only I was role-playing.

13. Any suggestions for further Thirteen Question victims?
Oh, Seacat is the easy answer. That way he’s a victim for having to respond and you’re a victim for having to read the mini-novella that you get in response.

by Jason “Gorilla” Bick

WMHC2
Scenario: Fine Line
War Torn Fronts Map 1 

 
“They’re down there, boss. They saw us at the same time we saw them. Madhammer requested an audience with you to figure out how to settle this like gentlemen.”

“I guess I’ll have to go talk to him then.” Kraye responds “Go tell everyone to be ready just in case my rusty negotiation skills turn his mood sour.”

Kraye hops up onto his horse and rides down to the buildings near the old battlefield. Trenches were dug into the soil near the houses, one of which had walls crumbling in decay after what looked to be a bomb blast. Old craters, now filled with small pools of water were scattered around the trenches.

His recon group had heard that Durgen Madhammer, the Dwarf they were told to find and send back to Rhul, was around these parts and sure enough they found him. Waiting for them. The fact that he was waiting for them made Kraye very nervous, someone must’ve told him they were coming. Even though his Journeyman was new to command he had been a ranger before he was an officer and wasn’t new to hiding his tracks while scouting, there’s no way they should’ve known he was nearby. Someone must’ve tipped him off, but why.

Riding into the clearing near the houses with his rifle at the ready, Kraye spotted Durgen right away. Hard not too when the squatty Rhulic is surrounded by a rag tag bunch of sailors of questionable reputation, two other dwarfs and a large trollkin.

“You wanted to talk?” Kraye asks, raising his rifle to a little more threatening position. At this range he could shoot the mole of the cheek off of the dirty cheeked blonde lass swinging the large wrench behind the not so nice looking light jack with the net and gaffer pole standing before her.

“Well, if you wanna get right to business, yes I did. I heard you’re out looking for me and since I don’t want to ruin my chances of more jobs for the Cygnaran military, I’d arrange a meeting between us before we stumble upon each other and cause more damage that a simple contest would easily avoid.”

“A contest?” Kraye’s eye’s narrowed as he moved his head forward, cocking his head slightly to the side. “What did you have in mind?”
“I’ll get my men to draw a line in the sand which we fight over.”
Kraye laughs “What are the rules, this sounds like it could be fun?”
The Dwarf smiles ” Simple, control the line as long as you can, if either of us gets knocked out or can’t hold the line with one of our heavy jacks, or you on your beasty, the other wins.”

“What’s in it for the winner?”

“Some coin and the right to tell their bosses they succeeded in their mission and eliminated a small threat to some old farmhouse.” Durgen says with a smile and a flourish to the decrepit ruin slowly becoming part of the landscape off to his right side.”

“Agreed, with the obvious inclusion that no one is allowed to seriously harm a member of the opposite party.”

“Done” agrees Durgen.

Durgen’s Dastards Vs. The Confederated States of Cygnar
Kyle Stratford vs Jason Bick

• Map 1
• Scenario Fine Line – Line East to West. Must have a large base within 2″ to contest, must not have an enemy model within 2″ to win after third turn, or knock out enemy caster.

Jason wins pick of Sides and loses choice to go second and sets up on North side near the trenches and blast craters.
Kyle sets up on the south near the house.
Jason Advance Deploys Hunter and Eiryss.

Turn 1 – Confederates
Lt Dan Hollister starts by protecting Kraye with an Arcane Shield. Kraye moves into and hides in a Trench, helps his Jacks to hit with Guided fire. Hunter tries to shoot Grogspar but falls short. Eiryss moves to building and fires through it at Dirty Meg but doesn’t hurt her. everyone else runs up into position.

Turn 1 – Dastards
Durgen Advances and attempts to Carpet Bomb the Dukes, with a favourable deviation he manages to take out Daisy. Encouraged everyone runs around and up to the house into position.

Turn 2 – Confederates
Bo and Luke take revenge on Pirates by taking two out. Eiryss books it over to Bo and Luke. Hunter and Defender concentrate fire on the Buccaneer turning it into wreckage under the watchful eye of Kraye. Sentinel and Lt Dan move up near Kraye.

Turn 2 – Dastards
Joln tells the Pirates to walk it off and earn their money. They advance and get a couple shots off at Bo, knock him out and Luke decides to take off. Everyone else advances again with Bradigan running at Defender hoping to tie up the Defender and Hunter.

Turn 3 – Confederates
Luke runs then decides to stick around. Eiryss takes out another Pirate while the Defender puts Bradigan to sleep. Hunter tries to take out Hawk but has no luck, Kraye decides to show him how its done, shot goes wide into a Sea Dog who toughs it out. Sentinel decides to do the same, hits the same Sea Dog three times and finally takes him out on the third shot. Lt Dan tries the same trick on Hawk and misses.

Turn 3 – Dastards
Meg advances, shoots Defender, locks up his gun arm. Thor Tunes up the Rockram to help his attacks but it does no good as it misses the Sentinel. Durgen advances and Primes Hawk, Feats, launches a Concussion Bomb at Kraye (no activiation or allocation) hits causes a headache. Joln again tells the SeaDogs to walk it off and earn their money. They advance and try to shoot Kraye with the riflemen finally hitting adding to Kraye’s headache. Hawk charges at Kraye and with three hits causes the headache to grow.

Turn 4 – Confederates
Kraye sits the round out nursing his headache. Luke advances and longshots the riflemen (Jason unwisely reminds Kyle to have another Sea Dog pick up the rifle). Hunter takes out Grogspar then moves into a crater for protection. Defender moves between Durgen and Kraye to protect his boss. Eiryss charges Hawk but the ensuing catfight leaves both standing. Lt Dan goes to join in the fun with the same lack of a result.

Turn 4 – Dastards
Meg shoots at the Sentinel and locks his movement. Durgen walks away from the Defender, who misses the squat, and shoots the Sentinel with a case cracker and only manages to scratch the paint. Thor tries again to improve the Rockram and succeeds as it charges the locked Sentinel and proceeds to smash it to bits and then tries to start the same Joyous wreckage with the Defender. The Sea Dogs encouraged for the last time by Joln charge the Defender and Eiryss, wreck the Defender and knocks down the troublesome Elf, who, deciding this contest is beneath her, finally leaves the field. Hawk proceeds to thrash Lt. Dan for his brash arrogance for even looking at her let alone attacking her and then tries to discipline Kraye to no effect.

Turn 5 – Confederates
Kraye pops an aspirin and runs away from the fight to recover from the throbbing pulse of his sore head (Heals five) but stays aware enough to still contest the Line in the ruins of an old house. Luke moves up and tries to Smoke Hawk but misses. Hunter backs away from the Rockram and shoots him peeling away a few layers of the stubborn Dwarven armour.

Turn 5 – Dastards
Hawk charges Luke, knocking the final Duke out of the Match.Durgen and the rest of his troops regroup, while the Rockram moves to Thor and gets a quick patch job.

Turn 6 – Confederates
With just the Hunter Left Kraye starts to further weed out the Sea Dogs while his Hunter misses the refreshed Rockram.

Turn 6 – Dastards
Meg tries to disable the Hunter with no luck as the trees get into the way, The rest of the Sea Dogs with Hawk and Joln run to get back into the action. Thor continues to patch up the Rockram which runs away from the potential harm of the Hunter. Durgen calmly advances to await his forces catching up to aid him with this insolent rebel Kraye.

Turn 7 – Confederates
Kraye moves back and guides his Hunter while leveling his carbine and takes out another Pirate. The Hunter pops out from behinda a few trees, shoots and misses, and pops back into the depth of the forest.

Turn7 – Dastards
Thor continues to patch up the Rockram at a safe distance while the Sea Dogs continue to run towards Kraye. Meg advances and takes a wild shot at Kraye and brings back a little bit of his headache. Everyone else continues to take up positions near the Line.

Turn 8 – Confederates
Kraye pretty much repeats the last turn with the exception of taking out two Sea Dogs this time, leaving the Rifleman by himself, who, in a tremendous hope of showing off to Hawk and maybe getting lucky, decides to stick around. The Hunter also repeats the last turn by shooting Hawk but she deftly moves the shot aside with one of her blades.

Turn 8 – Dastards
Meg, Hawk and the Riflemen decide to flush the Hunter out of his hiding spot by going into the forest after him. Everyone else continues to shore up their defences and move into better positions.

Turn 9 – Confederates
Kraye moves forward back into cover and takes out the brave yet foolish Riflemen and then proceeds to take out Joln. Hunter moves out of the forest leaving the Girls to struggle with the thick undergrowth and shoots the Rockram taking off a fresh patch job from Thor.

Turn 9 – Dastards
Rockram moves to the line to contest it. Thor attempts to move up to the again damaged jack and curses as his short legs can’t quite get him there. Meg stumbles out of the forest, a little dirtier then before, tries to shoot but misses wide. Hawk Runs out of the forest steaming mad. Durgen just continues his leisurely walk forward.

Turn 10 – Confederates
Kraye focuses on the Hunter and then feats. He attempts to charge at Durgen who is now in his range but has to ride through Hawk and Meg, Lays Hawk out but Meg sticks it out, keeping Kraye from getting at Durgen. The Hunter then tries to do the same to Durgen in a desparate attempt to get the squat off the line, but only manages to scrape some paint off of Durgen’s hood.

Turn 10 – Dastards
Thor finally reaches the Rockram and tunes him up, again. Meg feebly tries to attack Kraye. Durgen walks away from the Hunter who takes a swipe at him but glances off the hood again. He walks up to Kraye and takes a swing with his hammer to no effect. Angry he now drops a bomb at his feet, which proceeds to knock out Meg, cause mild damage to the Hunter and increases Krayes headache again.

Turn 11 – Confederates
Pissed off because of the pounding in his head Kraye attacks Durgen with a flurry of blows but leaves the resilient little Dwarf standing. I guess it’s hard to hurt a guy when you have to lean far over in your saddle just to reach him on the ground.

Turn 11 – Dastards
Durgen shrugs at Krayes feeble attempts to penetrate his masterful Dwarf armour, walks around him to get a better position nearer the line, drops another bomb at his feet and pushes Kraye out of the ruins of the house and farther than two inches from the Line! Durgen wins the contest and smugly collects his prize from a very unhappy Kraye.

Durgen – 11VP
Kraye – 9VP

Result: a six hour slogfest contest over a line in the middle of nowhere.

Excuse the terrible photos, I apparently managed to overblow the details. Bah.

Horthol adds some mobility to my 750pt Ta-Ta Kriel list, being able to operate independently on a flank as a solo hunter or general harrier.

I was quite pleased with the washes on the metal, making it look like subtly distinct surfaces rather than just a solid series of metallic silver plating.

by Chris “Gdaybloke” Miller

WMHC2: 500pts
Scenario: Gauntlet
War Torn Fronts Map 2

“Go! Go!”

Ernie kicked Bradley’s shoulder as the dire troll barrelled through the underbrush, the rest of the warband running in his wake. They were leaving a trail a blind Cygnaran could follow, but as their band grew in size, it became harder to mask their presence and speed had become more important than stealth as they rushed to get out of Khadoran territory.

They had barely cracked the ice off the Winter Troll when a trio of Kossite outrider scouts had come across the wreckage of their encounter with the Greylords, and Bradley hadn’t yet managed to dispose of all the bodies. One of them instantly wheeled and galloped back where they had came from, while the other two ran interference. By the time those two had been dealt with, the first was out of range of Grim’s hunting rifle, and well on his way to notifying the leaders of the encamped Khadorans.

Hugh and the Tubthumpers watch my stuff while getting ready

Within moments, Grim had everyone mobilised and running as fast as they could manage. Bradly cradled the still thawing Winter Troll, while Winkin and Nod gripped straps and held on for dear life trying not to fall off of Vivian’s shoulders. Tub and the Thumpers brought up the rear, shepherding Hugh and Grim before them as they charged through the woods.

“We canna keep this pace up long, Grim! Bradley’s gone all numb wi’ ‘is arms, this feller’s too chill!”

Grim nodded his acknowledgement.

“Just keep him moving, Ace. If we can get across the river we’ll be out of their territory; If they chase us beyon’, they’ll risk running into Cygnarans and they’ll have to break off.”

Bradley growled his displeasure but pushed on, shouldering trees out of the way and leaving a clear path behind him for the others.

Without warning, they burst through the treeline into a large, open area lit by the first rays of dawn.

It wasn’t the sight of dew glistening on blades of grass, nor the low, gentle mist that sat wafting through the lower points of the meadow, that took their breath away.

No, that would be the sight of ranked Winterguard, cloaked Greylords and a hulking Juggernaut-class warjack turning to take note of the ragtag bunch of trollkin that just appeared on their flank.

Khador goes to war

Ernie summed it up quite succinctly, with a single “Crap!!!”

“Hugh! Tub! Go!”, yelled Grim as he unslung Headhunter. The Fell Caller and Champions responded immediately, moving out and away from Grim and the warbeasts to counter the ranks of Winterguard before them.

Dropping the now largely thawed Winter Troll to his feet, Bradley bellowed a mighty roar as Grim shepherded the warbeasts into the immediate cover of a wooded outcropping.

“Winkin, Nod, we need cover!”

The two gobbers immediately lept into action; fog juice poured and bellows heaved as a massive cloud roiled out before them to shield them from the eyes of the Khadorans.

Vivian unlimbered a spear and moved forward to peer through the trees when a resounding “Thoomph!” was heard from the Khadoran line, followed by an eerie whistling.

“I don’ like that, boss!”, chirped Ernie from his perch.

Grim paused for a second as the whistling grew louder…

Right before the mortar hit...

“Mortar! Down!”

Vivian dropped, Ernie hunkered down behind his slugger, even the Winter Troll dropped and covered his head. Bradley stopped, inserted a finger in his nose and wiggled it for a minute. All of this did nothing to help Winkin and Nod, who suddenly found themselves flung into the air in a mad spray of mud, fire and fragments of iron as the mortar shell slammed into the ground beside them and exploded, taking them out of the fight.

GRIM TURN ONE

Grim Angus, Bradley (Blitzer) and Vivian (Impaler) advance into the forest with Winkin and Nod (Swamp Gobbers), while Hugh (Fell Caller) and the Tubthumpers (Champions) move up to the wall facing the Winterguard.

As a precaution, Grim casts Return Fire on himself while the Gobbers lay a smokescreen.

ZERKOVA TURN ONE

Everyone advances, the Winterguard using Bob & Weave while Kovnik Joe makes them Tough.

The Mortar lobs a shell at Vivian; it misses, but a lucky scatter catches Grim, Vivian and both Gobbers in the blast. Winkin and Nod are both taken out. Typical. Grim and Vivian are made of sterner stuff and could care less.

“Double Crap!” yelled Ernie as the Gobbers fell back into the scrub. If the Khadorans could send shells into the trees like that, then clearly they weren’t a safe place to hide.

Jamming a heel against Bradley’s shoulder, Ernie commanded the hulking dire troll forward. Bradley was only too eager to oblige, and burst through the thicket  with an ungodly roar.

Grim stepped forward himself as the Blitzer stormed forward and immediately found his attention on the giant warjack moving to intercept.

“Viv!” he yelled, hefting his tether gun and targetting a spot between the juggernaut’s legs.

Vivian nodded and in one fluid motion sent the spear in an underhanded arc directly at the warjack’s midsection. A last second shift and its hand moved into the spear’s flight path. The shaft struck true, staggering the warjack as it suddenly found its forearm slammed back against its chest, but the construct was otherwise undamaged.

It turned to look in the direction of this new threat, but suddenly found its feat entangled.

Grim dropped the smoking tether gun, and squinted as his reached out for the ley lines crossing the meadow. Drawing them taut against the juggernaut’s lower legs, he smiled as it crashed to the ground.

The Khadorans were not standing by idly; the witch barking orders at  the Greylords casually waved a hand and suddenly a chill wind, laden with the promise of hypothermia, struck Vivian while she uttered words of power over the warjack as it struggled to find its feet.

Ernie screamed in a mixture of jubilation and terror as he gripped the triggers of his slugger. Bradley’s loping gait almost flung him from his perch, but he kept the triggers down felt furious joy as the gun bucked, bullets spraying into the two guardsmen manning the mortar.

“Howja like ‘at, sumbitches!!”

Suddenly Bradley shuddered and slowed; the slugger felt icy cold through Ernie’s gloves.

“Whassat, Bradley? Gerroff!”

Then Ernie saw the three Khadoran battle wizards and realised what was happening as his breath fogged in front of his face.

You don't have to work at Dairy Queen to make a blizzard...

“Bradley! Move, ye great lummox!”

No response. Bradley stood still, shuddering as icicles formed on his skin and incomprehension clouded what little reasoning the dire troll was capable of.

GRIM TURN TWO

Bradley runs out and Ernie opens fire, killing the Mortar Crew.

Vivian send a spear at Beast-09, but fails to crit and does no damage. Grim immediately tethers Beast-09 before knocking him down with Mantrap for 5 damage.

Hugh, the Tubthumpers and Horatio (Winter Troll) advance. 

ZERKOVA TURN TWO

The Kolduns freeze Bradley, much to my annoyance, while the Winter Guard continue to bob & weave. The Koldun Lord tosses out some Freezing Mists.

Zerkova casts Watcher on Beast, and scatters a Winter Storm on Vivian for no damage before popping her feat.

Grim scowled as he saw Bradley shudder to a halt. He could see Hugh and the Tubhumpers closing in on the infantry, shuttling between pieces of cover as they advanced, but these greylords needed to be neutralised now.

Almost absentmindedly he fired off another tether at the juggernaut before once again tripping the construct by tugging on ley lines.

Suddenly, the Winter Troll howled and sprinted forward, pounding on the carapace of the downed warjack, before sucking in a deep breath and then releasing the arctic chill that dwelt within.

Shards of ice instantly coalesced in its breath, flew through the air and sunk into the flesh of on of the Khadorans… though the warcaster simply shrugged it off with a frown.

With a loose motion she commanded Beast-09 to its feet; it rose like a marionette, shook ice from its carapace, and then unleashed a brutal swing of its ice axe directly into the Winter Troll’s abdomen.

Horatio’s scream tore across the battlefield before suddenly being cut off as the juggernaut slammed its fist into his throat, and then brought the axe around to careen off his skull.

Horatio in trouble

Horatio dropped to the ground, unmoving.

Momentarilly shocked at the sheer brutality of what he’d just witnessed, Ernie shook his own head clear. Grabbing onto a guidrope he swung over Bradley’s shoulder and put his head directly next to Bradley’s ear.

“MOVE IT!”

Bradley flexed and ice cracked and chipped all over his form. A deep growl began to emanate deep in his chest.

“Tha’s it, boy! Le’s get some o’ them!” Ernie declared, pointing at the startled greylords.

The first uttered words of power but stumbled over them as ice flew from Bradley’s right hand when he shook it clear.

The second just stood there, jaw dropping, while cradling the frozen form of  the third.

“Amateurs!” roared the Koldun Lord, as he commanded the second trio of greylords to focus their powers on the dire troll.

Ernie tried to swivel the gun to face the newcomers, but the Koldun Lord marshalled his subordinates and once more the pyg ace felt frost settling in.

Finally in range, the Winter Guard open fire on the Champions. Muzzles flare, rockets scream into the ruins, and an immense cloud of smoke rises before the northmen…

"Rabbit season!" "Duck Season!"

… and when it settles, one of the Champions wipes some blood from his arm. The rest just smile grimly.

GRIM TURN THREE

Warning: The below is an example of not playing with your head in the game, and a cautionary tale about having side conversations with enthusiastic new players while you’re playing a game you know you’ll be writing up for the blog later.

Grim once again tethers Beast-09 before mantrap does 2 more damage and knockdown, then forgets to feat.

Horatio the Winter Troll charges Beast-09, knowing that he won’t do notable damage, but shooting for the chain attack spray through Beast-09 to catch two Greylords and Zerkova.  Zerkova is missed. A Greylord dies but that’s small consolation for knowing that Beast-09 is about to stand up in base contact with a Winter Troll that forgot to use Rime.

In disgust at the errors made, the rest of the army simply maneuvres into position.

ZERKOVA TURN THREE

Zerkova gives 3 focus to Beast-09, who predicably spiflicates Horatio, rolling three 6’s on the hit with the axe for critical freeze and 15 damage. 6 more from the fist and headbutt, then one more axe attack to remove Horatio from the board.

The two remaining Greylords  from the first unit both miss Bradley (needing 5’s to hit). Astounded, the second unit moves up but only two are in range. The Koldun Lord steps up to provide the third freeze to make Bradley stationary again.

Zerkova backs up after casting Icy Grip on the Champions. The Winter Guard get all excited and, while bobbing & weaving, open fire with an array of sprays and a couple of rockets while Joe sings “For the Motherland!”.

When the dust settles, the unit has managed to do a total of 4 damage to one of the Champs.

Still frozen in place, Ernie watched the grim tableau before him. Hugh and the Tubthumpers closed in on the Winter Guard, one of the Khadorans dropping to the ground, blood leaking from his exposed ears.

The juggernaut turned to once more cast its mechanical gaze on Ernie and Bradley. 

“Stercus, Stercus, Stercus, Moriturus Sum” muttered Ernie.

Suddenly Vivian grunted and a spear flew directly into the Khadoran warcaster, cracking her armour and driving her to her knees. 

Without a word, Grim brought Headhunter around, levelled the barrel and squeezed off a single shot.

GRIM TURN FOUR

Hugh excitedly yells a Winter Guardsman to death. The Champs advance through the ruins, cursing Hugh’s forgetting to give them Pathfinder. Seriously, I have no idea where my head was this game.

Spotting a gap, Vivian uses Far Strike on himself before hefting a spear into Zerkova for a healthy 9 damage.

Thinking that looks like a bloody good idea, Grim moves into sight and shoots Zerkova for 7 more damage, dropping her for victory by caster kill.

... and that's why you don't leave a gap for Grim to shoot through.

Koldun Kommander Aleksandra Zerkova dropped to the ground.

As she fell, so did the juggernaut, no longer guided by the impulses of its mistress.

Grim nodded.

“Alright now, let’s be done with this lot.”

The Trolls of the Ta-Ta Kriel roared their approval and promptly set about seeing the Khadorans from the field.

Grim Tidings wins with 11 VPS

Khadoran Casualties:
Zerkova, (Beast-09), Mortar Crew

Trollblood Casualties:
Swamp Gobbers

Here we are at the midpoint of our three-stage challenge, and the Round Two  picks are locked in! 18 pundits this time around, including a third person signing in as “Chris”,  just to confuse the situation

Thirteen Questions with PPS_Simon

1. Where are you now?
In my apartment, on Capitol Hill in Seattle, Washington.

2. What’s the last model you completely painted?
A Choir of Menoth War Priest.

3. What’s your hypothesis on who’s *really* responsible for Scyrah’s illness?
Bad reaction to swine-flu vaccine.

4. What is the sound of one hand clapping?
When you start paying me my freelance rates of 4 cents per word, we can talk about this.

5. Wildly speculate on who’s going to win the WarmaHordes Challenge II at Lost Hemisphere.
Bobaferret! Moderator solidarity.

6. It’s never easy starting out. Which faction would you recommend to someone coming to WM/H after years of playing Connect Four?
The wine red/parchment white studio paint scheme for the Protectorate of Menoth most closely matches the red and yellow pieces of Connect Four. This will provide the most soothing transition for such a player.

7. Lost Hemisphere: Most Profound Blog, Most Efficacious Blog, or Blog Most Likely Paint Letters On Its Chest At Football Games?
Now that I have contributed to your blog you can claim the title of “Most Likely to Smell Vaguely of Cheap Whiskey.”

8. Iosan Myrmidons are all named after creatures of European mythology. What’s your though on what the Cockatrice will do?
You shouldn’t say dirty words on the internet.

9. Can I have a pony?
Yes, of course. What kind of monster would say otherwise?

10. Which Monsterpocalypse beastie would you like to see ‘ported over to Hordes?
I would play the hell out of a Subterran Uprising faction.

11. Beastfight: Lug vs Skarath vs Brine vs Snapjaw?
This is a tough question for me, because obviously it is going to come down to a sweet reptile but there are two! Tatzylwurms and gigantic bipedal alligators are both pretty rad. I think I’m going to go with Skarath, just because snakes that eat dudes whole are awesome.

12. Why does Puck wear a gasmask? Is it because Keelie keeps farting?
I believe that the phrase, “he who smelt it, dealt it” is legally applicable here.

13. Who else should I bombard with 13 questions?
PPS_Walton loves answering questions!

This battle plan is written after the tournament took place but is an accurate reflection on my preparation for the tournament, enjoy!

With the recent disappointment of my Menites last tournament I was determined to perform better with them this time around. The next Day of Valour was going to be a 750 point SR4 tournament, the first SR4 and 750 for HK since I’ve been there. With that I wanted to take advantage of using epic casters which means I had a choice between Sevvy, Kreoss, Testament or Feora.

The Testament doesn’t really appeal to me although he is supposed to be a solid tournament caster. I can see why, with an amazing feat and the ability to revive with tricky placement, he can cause trouble for opponents even if they know what to expect. I love me my Knights Exemplar so I definitely wanted to use eKreoss and his elite cadre. That leaves eFeora and eSevvy. Another thing I wanted to test out was the famed “Brokeness” of the Idrians+UA that the privateer press forums Menoth community was raving about, and since one of their few weaknesses would be mitigated with eSevvy’s spell CoF (Courage of Faith), eSevvy was an obvious choice.

eSevvy List Breakdown

With eSevvy you need an arcnode, the old man can’t go anywhere without his Blessing of Vengeance so that was an easy choice. Now with Severius in a 750 list I usually go for two arcnodes, but between eSevvy’s bond, excessive repel + fired up, enliven from a vassal and the choir, I was confident the BoV could get out of any situation it needed to. With eSevvy’s personal arcnode well taken care of it was time to decide on the rest of the army.

Idrians+UA were in because I had to test them out. I have also included Vilmon in this list because he is usually a general pain to deal with, but also with his CMD 10 the out of turn attack from a successful command check from CoF for the Idrians would almost be guaranteed. Zealots have always performed well for me so I put a full unit and MB in, this unit reinforced my belief in them last tournament with their remarkable survivability. Another unit that always performs for me are the TFG. They are another very resilient unit that will perform great with the area control that most SR4 missions ask for. Their second UA is Rupert because he goes well with just about any unit we Menites have in our armies. With the bulk of the army filled out let’s sprinkle in some solos to taste…

Eiryss is a go to gal for me, she may not always perform every game, but whenever I don’t bring her I always regret it so shes in. Hierophant for eSevvy because he needs to be pampered wherever he goes right? There aren’t too many heavy hitters in this list so Aiyana and Holt are in there for their pure awesomeness and the random harm or assassination harm if needed. Another key solo in this list is Anastacia. With her toolbox of passive abilities she is almost a must have for SR4. She gives +1 to starting roll (which is key for SR4), disrupts enemy AD and with eSevvy’s huge CMD range, you really don’t want to let her tell him any secrets! Her bodyguards AKA Idrians+UA will make it tough for your opponent to deal with her without suffering some casualties. Couple extra points left over? Throw in a Wrack!

NOTE: I have to give credit where credit is due; this list is inspired by Dicegod’s eSevvy list that he has developed through a bunch of games and battle reports. I hope to have the same kind of success he has had!

And with that, here is the list…

Army: eSevvy
Faction: Protectorate of Menoth
Army Points: 750/750
Victory Points: 27

• Hierarch Severius
• Blessing of Vengeance
• Hierophant
• High Paladin Dartan Vilmon
• Vassal of Menoth
• Wrack
• Choir of Menoth (6)
• Holy Zealots (10)
• Monolith Bearer
• Idrian Skirmishers (10)
• Idrian Skirmisher Chieftain and Guide
• Temple Flameguard (10)
• Temple Flameguard Officer and Standard Bearer
• Anastasia di Bray
• Eiryss, Mage Hunter of Ios
• Rupert Carvolo, Piper of Ord
• Lady Aiyana and Master Holt

Wow 750 right on the money, that’s gotta bode well right? The battle plan is to hold the enemy advance with the Idrians so the TFG and Zealots can get in a commanding position to accomplish whatever scenario is rolled. Zealots will be screening eSevvy while the TFG and Rupert and move up more to the side as needed. The feat turn really makes it difficult for non-character troopers to hold any control points that need to be scored and the zealots and TFG+Rupert can wreck a lot of face when they need to.  Holy Ward on the Idrians puts their defense up to 16 which is in the pretty tough to hit category and immunity to spells is just gravy. CoF covers up the Idrians low CMD and grants bonus attacks, who doesn’t like bonus attacks? Fear of God is especially good for scenario play. No orders? Well that neuters almost all cavalry units and really limits the threat range and damage potential for all melee units. Basically this list is just a bunch of very powerful models that just synergize well in the SR4 environment. Well now that eSevvy was cared for it was time to make a list for eKreoss I suppose.

eKreoss List Breakdown

I really felt like my eSevvy list was incredibly solid so this list was going to be built to cover up the only real weakness the list has, I can’t take over undead models. Thankfully only Cryx can muster a considerable amount of undead and eKreoss happens to excel against that faction.

Incorporeal? All my Knights Exemplar can make magic attacks.

Corrosion? Not for my Exemplars!

Well we can still spell assassinate you! Actually you can’t channel any spells in my control area…

So what, our defense is so high you can’t hit us! Actually all my melee attacks auto hit…and I get an additional attack…did I mention I’m fielding over 15 weaponmasters?

With any eKreoss list you gotta load up on the KE. So with that I have a full unit of KEE and regular KE. I was worried about a Cryx swarm army so I also loaded up with full Idrians+UA, full TFG+UA and 9 Zealots+MB. Yep you got it, 5 units of which only one is not full, and all but the zealots are capable in melee, letting me really take advantage of the feat turn! eKreoss doesn’t really need any warjacks in his army and without many points left over for anything else I decided it was time to add my favourite solos once again.

Vilmon, Eiryss, Rupert and A+H get the nod once again, they are all just so good at their jobs it’s kind of sad that no one else gets any competitive table time as consistently as these four (or five if you count A+H separately). I welcome MKII with the fact that the term “auto include” is gone or almost gone depending on who you talk to. No Gravus you ask? He was a serious consideration but he is more of an assassination tool and this list has a very grind feel to it. Lots of infantry bearing down on you and they will hit you if you come to it. And if you don’t come to it, well then you lose to scenario! No Anastacia as well, this is because I really didn’t care if I went first or second because of the grinder feel once again and also because the other solos are more important.

Heres da list…

Army: eKreoss
Faction: Protectorate of Menoth
Army Points: 750/750
Victory Points: 23

• Grand Exemplar Kreoss
• High Paladin Dartan Vilmon
• Exemplars Errant (10)
• Holy Zealots (9)
• Monolith Bearer
• Idrian Skirmishers (10)
• Idrian Skirmisher Chieftain and Guide
• Knights Exemplar
• Temple Flameguard (10)
• Temple Flameguard Officer and Standard Bearer
• Eiryss, Mage Hunter of Ios
• Rupert Carvolo, Piper of Ord
• Lady Aiyana and Master Holt

Once again 750 right on the dot! Battle plan is similar to the other list; Idrians hold the front with KEE being a backup hammer while everyone else advances with Kreoss up the middle. Zealots will be their own mini force up one side; TFG+Rupert up the other side but both forces still close to eKreoss just in case a meat shield is needed. KE will go up the middle waiting to wreck face to anyone that wants to be face wrecked. Inviolable Resolve and Sacrosanct will go on whoever needs it depending on enemy deployment and when playing against Cryx or anyone that uses arcnodes Castigate will be cast every turn.

I really like both of these lists even though the eKreoss list might be tough to fit in a turn at times, I just have to make sure I can prioritize my important activations first if possible and practice with timed turns when possible. Hopefully the Idrians can bring the pain for me like they have for so many other Protectorate players!

I was chatting with Clayton of Iron Kingdom Adventures the other day, and he asked me a very simple question pertaining to a discussion I’d already had with MenothJohn. We’d been talking about the possibilities for the new Menite warcaster to be released with Mk II, and the question was this:

What would I like to see, as my dream ‘caster?

Well, thought I, I already have Severius and eFeora, what more could I want? One’s full of spell-slinging support goodness (oh, how I love to arc Ashes To Ashes through Blessing of Vengeance), the other’s a veritable avatar of flame, with her lovely flameguard units in support.

So the pondering continued. What, specifically, DO I want to see in the new warcaster?

Right now there’s 11 Menite warcasters if you include the epics. There’s not exactly a lot of options left.

We’ve got an Exemplar caster, we’ve got a Flameguard caster. We’ve got two jack-centric casters. We’ve got a spell slinging old man, we’ve got the best denial caster, we’ve got the caster with the largest control range in the entire freakin’ game. We’ve got a guy who brings stuff back from the dead.

We can do spell assassination.
We can do board control.
We can do attrition.

The only thing the Protectorate models are really lacking is Sniper effects, and jack repair. We’re getting jack repair in Mk II, and it accurate long ranged shooting just doesn’t make thematic sense. I’m happy instead with synergistic buffs, denial and fire.

So what options are left to us? We already have Flameguard, Exemplar, and Order of the First themed warcasters. We don’t have a Paladin warcaster, but I have to wonder if putting out something that thematically bumps Vilmon down the heirarchy is a good idea story-wise.

We could get an Idrian themed warcaster, but strictly speaking we’ve already got in Idrian in Amon.

I really don’t know.

Maybe an elevated Choir Priest, who has chants a la Grissel’s Fell Calls?

As an aside, one thing I wouldn’t mind seeing is a unit of Order of the Fist novices. Amon’s seriously awesome in his Mk II incarnation, it would be exceptionally cool to have an Order of the Fist theme list for Amon, centered on novices, allegiants, and warjacks. Idrians could fit as well, of course.

Thirteen Questions with PPS_Matt

1. Where are you now?
On the precipice of a very exciting time in my life. Some call it mid-life. I call it, Act 2.

2. Every nation in the world has an odd delicacy they like to foist on tourists. What do the Skorne have?
The cornea of young cyclops, served over a bed of minced krea basilisk brains. Best eaten at room temperature, it slides easily down the throat and legend has it, if you live, then that same night, you’ll dream about the day you die.

3. Have the Iosans ever considered draining a Hydra’s Focus Battery, distilling the contents into liquid form, and administering it to Iosan kids with Attention Deficit Disorder?
Sorry, I got distracted. What?

4. What one model do you *not* want to paint?
Tyra Banks. I hate that chick.

5. We’ve heard that the Black 13th have a height restriction on their membership to keep Khadoran infiltrators out. The Protectorate has many individuals of Khadoran birth; what’s the fluff reasoning behind Rhoven’s bodyguard’s lack of stature?
You must have hated the Wizard of Oz.

6. We’ve got Blighted Ogrun, Blighted Trolls, Blighted Nyss, and after Legends some justification for Blighted Rhul. How long before we see Blighted Gobbers in a Bodgers boardgame?
Hmmm…

7. Lost Hemisphere: Baldest Blog, Most Hirsute Blog, or Blog Most Likely to Play a Harmonica?
You play harmonica?

8. Did you expect some sort of Spanish Inquisition?
NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition.

9. Wildly speculate on the *real* reason Amon hides his lower face. My theory? Bad pornstar moustache.
The collagen injections went all wrong…or he has hillbilly teeth. Either way, who would take him seriously?

10. It’s pretty much accepted that Ernie, the Ta-Ta Kriel’s Pyg Ace is awesomesauce. What have you done to recognise his niftiness?
He received a gold star on his report card.

11. Flagfight! Harbinger vs eIrusk vs Stormclad vs Guardian.
I feel like something just happened but I’m not sure what it was.

12. Are the aquatic Monsterpocalypse faction, the Tritons, a manifestation of some childhood trauma?
Nobody really likes fish.

13. Who else should I bombard with questions?
Nobody. You’re killing productivity!

I don’t care that I already own two Crusaders and Fire of Salvation – I want this one!!!

I mean seriously, that beast puts Fire of Salvation to shame! It’s a hulking mass of Menite metal, ready to smite some filthy Morrowan heretics with its extra-spikey mace!

Oh, and that’s not all – I have two Vanquishers already, but DAMN!

Cooler stance, larger barrel on the Flame Belcher, and did you look at the length of that chain? After years of complaining about the lack of reach on the Reckoner with its massive tetsubo, now it looks like the Vanquisher’s going to give us a new model to complain about! Privateer Press caters to all our needs, even the need to gripe! Gotta admit, it just *looks* like a threshing machine!

Of course, this will toss fuel onto the fire re: the Templar and whether it’ll have Reach or Thresher or whatnot, but what the smeg, these look amazing!

… oh, and PP previewed the Slayer and Reaper as well… I guess they’re kinda cool, for filthy evil helljacks…

Every once in a while I wander through iTunes to see if there’s anything that catches my eye to download. This time around, I came across Marvel Comic’s “Spider-Woman: Agent of Sword”.

Ooh, thought I. Something focussing on Jessica Drew post-her-life-being-screwed-over-by-the-Skrulls. Sure, they were tossing in Flavor Of The Month S.W.O.R.D., but I was intrigued enough by the promise of a potentially interesting story, and my curiosity was piqued over how they were going to pull it off on my iPod.

Okay, the animation’s like some of the older cartoons where you’ve basically got one still image moving in front of another. Maintains the integrity of the original art (by Alex Maleev) while giving your eyes something to follow while you’re listening to the dialogue and sound effects.

Voices? Okay, why the hell does Brand’s voice have an echo? There’s always going to be instances where someone doesn’t sound the way you envision them, so there’s potential to ruin the suspension of disbelief as you’re pulled out by someone speaking in a different pitch than you’ve always imagined as you’ve read the comics… seriously, Paladin sounds a lot whinier than I would have thought…

Oh, and I really didn’t like Madame Hydra’s voicework. No offence to the voice actor, but the accent was just…

All in all I enjoyed the tale despite assorted holes, such as Brand giving Jessica a watch that’ll detect non-humans in the vicinity, which then proceeds not to send off any alarms with Brand sitting right next to Jessica when we know thanks to Whedon’s run on Astonishing X-Men that Brand has alien DNA (the green hair? Not dyed.).

I’ll give a conditional thumbs up to Bendis’ writing, I’ll give a thumbs up to Maleev’s art, I’ll give a thumbs up to the animation and sound effects which did a good job of setting mood… basically my only grip is with some of the voicework.

The real question, I guess, is where this is going. Will Marvel produce more Motion Comics in an attempt to connect with a generation that’s all digital and could care less about print media? If so, then I’d suggest not going with a tale that requires some sort of foreknowledge about the characters.