Live With The Lights On

Innocent Insights

2009-09-01T13:08:00.002-04:00

I was deeply inspired and awed by my six year old the other day. There we were at the beach playing in the water. The sun was shinning, it was the perfect day. We watched the boy next to us that was half boy, half dare devil. His mother was clearly fed up with his antics.

The next thing we know, this little boy begins sobbing. He comes running out of the water crying for his mom. His favorite goggles had taken a hit and were washed away with the tide. It didn't matter to him that his mother had another pair of goggles for him, he wanted his favorite pair.
Mya was busy observing this and looked to me and said, "Well, God and angels must love him very much. They knew he was being unsafe and that making his goggles go away would get his attention and make him stop."

As we talked about her insight I came to understand in the context of my own life and really, life in general. How many times have I not gotten what I wanted or felt what I wanted slip through my finger tips?

It is easy to wonder why we aren't getting what we want. Usually though, as we consider this we go through through the process of what is wrong with the situation instead of asking what is right.

What if it is part of the Divine plan that we only get what we want, in the way that we want it, is when it is ripe? Or what if sometimes we get what we need when we need it and not always what we want when we want it?

Suppose we get that job that we want when we want it and find that when we get there, we are not as prepared as we needed to be. Usually when this happens we go right into the "I'm not good enough" stuff instead of looking at how maybe we were so busy trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Maybe had we waited until the Universe said it was time we would find that we were ready to take on the task with out hesitation. And feel good about ourselves when we got there.

It is not that I have not considered these things before, but I saw it from another perspective.

I saw it through the perspective of my innocent and pure 6 year old.

I saw it as the way Spirit, God, the Universe, what-ever-you-want-to-call-It, says that it loves us so much, that it really does not want us to hurt. We will always hurt from time to time but when we relax into Spirit's arms we then grab the lessons with less pain.

May we allow Spirit to continuously whisper in our ear through our life experiences, "I love you THIS much". And so it is.

www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Katy Manna

Women and Sexuality

2009-01-29T13:37:00.000-05:00

Everywhere we turn there are images of vibrant, sexy women. Look at any magazine article, turn on your televisions set or check out your home page on the Internet. Women exuding sexuality everywhere? It is curious to me that in an over sexed culture, that sex would be one of the main reasons people divorce. Why is it that 35% of women, in conservative polls, say they wouldn't care if they never had sex again? And 35% of women say it is hard to get in the mood. It is easy to assume that raising children, working, and everyday stress can play a role in this. And certainly there is truth to these theories. But what if you handed a women $1000 to spend on herself, or prescribed a massage or a hot bath, would she be as hard pressed to follow through? Not likely. The secret is that they feel like it is something that is just for them, unlike sex.
The sad truth is that for many women sex feels like another thing to check off on their lengthy to do list. It is another thing they do for someone else, not experience for themselves. Somewhere along the way that sexy woman on the inside decided to take a nap- in a long, warn out, terry cloth robe. What is deeply misunderstood is that sexuality is not about looking like a model, being there only to please your partner, not having your fat roll become obvious or a "do it and get it over with" kind of job.
Sexuality is an innate part of who we are. When we do not fully engage in this part of ourselves and cut ourselves off we become imbalanced. Sex is place where our spirit can connect us to a higher place, a place where our creativity and sense of self is set free. We are set free is a place of true vulnerability where our bodies merge with another. The release of hormones creates a sense of euphoria, a feeling of closeness to our partner and even relieves stress to boot!
If you are a woman who has fallen into this rut there are a lot of things that you can do to ignite your spark again. For starters, stop buying those trashy magazines that tell you how to please him, how to keep him, how to look to keep him, what to say in bed to keep him, and suggest you need to look like a barbie for you to enjoy sex and for him to want you. Instead, focus on what makes you feel sexy. What are things you and partner enjoy? It is through understanding from a personal place about ourselves that we can go further into sexuality and total fulfillment.
Sexuality and fulfillment live in the experience of our sexual acts. To experience what we are doing we need to be conscious. Experiencing means to be alive to what everything feels like, to be fully connected to your senses.
Here are some ways to reconnect to your senses:

When you see something with texture, touch it. Touch it with your finger tips, the front and back of your hands.
When you sit down to eat, avoid biting, chewing and swallowing. Smell the food, touch it on your lips and see what that does to your senses. Put the food in your mouth and see how it feels. Let it stay in your mouth before swallowing. Swallow after savoring.
Allow yourself to fantasize without editing or judgment. This is a wonderful way of awakening yourself and it's very private!
Take a scented bubble bath. Feel how the water feels on your skin. Smell the aroma of the bubble bath.

In our world today we are overstimulated with sex without meaning. We have replaced a healthy sexual appetite for the need to work, raise kids and simply do the mundane day to day things. In my opinion, it is traumatic for the soul to be cut off from the everyday sensual experiences that have ability to ignite the passion our soul craves. When we stop seeing sex as a chore and a commodity we will be begin to create a more healthy culture views thriving sexuality as a pure and powerful place to reach new levels of fulfillment.

Out with the Old and In with the New!

2009-01-13T14:02:00.000-05:00

I get it! I get it! That's what this is all about. I have known for a long time that I need to get rid of the old to make room for the new. I have pondered this with my new life now for a while.
I AM in my new life and wondering what of the old still lingers?
The heat is out in my house and it's really, really cold. A chilling 48 degrees. My bedroom, on the other hand, is warm with all the fun my daughter and I are having camping out! Dinner in bed, breakfast in bed, sleepovers with a lot of giggling and snoring dogs. I am only half happy about the new furnace coming tomorrow.
I came home last night wondering what my room would look like. We left the dogs in my room so that they could keep warm. The thought crossed my mind as I was leaving the yoga class I had taught. "What if the dogs went crazy in my room and chewed up my stuff?" I rushed to my moms to pick up my little one. We laughed and wondered the whole way home what we would find when we got here.
Deep breath, ddeeeeeepppp breath, Katy. There is nothing in there that can't be replaced. I cracked the door so that I could asses the damage slowly. White stuffing everywhere! Oh God, I thought. Did little one's favorite stuffed animal get it? Oh thank God, no. Molly the Maltese is fine. Whew!
Then I saw a piece of fabric. Is that the Calvin Klein comforter that was folded under my bed?
Then a big smile came over my face, and joy fulled my heart as my daughter stood with her saucer like brown eyes. I knew at moment that the Universe always does come through, in little ways and in big.
I have been continuously asking for the last of my old self and my old life to be washed away from me. This was a big part of it. This was the comforter I shared with my ex-husband. I had wondered what to do with it. I didn't want to use it because of the memories, but wasn't sure what to do.
And there it was demolished, destroyed and my dogs' tails were just wagging, almost like they were winking at me! They knew they had been given the divine assignment of helping me move on.
The little things can be harder to spot because we grow so accustomed to seeing them there.
The furnace's control panel is out. There was a disconnect in allowing the heat in. The ball bearings were off, out of alignment. Everything in my life always represents a message.
There goes the rest of my past. As I am being rewired, put back into alignment and the old being demolished, I am freer and freer everyday. My heart is lifted feeling that no matter what, I am always being watched over and supported. It is my job to ask for help and take it where it is given. Enjoying the little blessings that are around me and propel me further into the life I know I am here to live.

What Does Being Happy REALLY Look Like?

2009-01-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about what makes me happy. I think because I see a lot of people with anxiety in my practice and they all have one thing in common; the seem to believe that happiness is something outside of them. I know, I know, this is not a new concept. However, I have started to see this with a twist. This "happiness" that they seek seems to be this external force that they are trying their best to control. They are doing their best to control what they believe will make them happy instead of checking in with themselves and asking, "why do I think THIS will make me happy?" Often times we are programmed to believe what will make us happy. When you are 18 you go to college and are supposed to have an idea about what you want to BE. Notice we do not hear very often, "what you want to DO". After college, you get married and if you are doing it the "right way" you have 2.5 kids. (Or maybe it's 3 by now) The point I am trying to make is that we are taught from an early age that these "rights of passage" are the pathway to our happiness and when they go unfulfilled they consume us.
We start to feel anxious about other things. Feeling in some ways like a failure and that if we could just control some of the other things in our life we would have a sense of validation and purpose.
I find that most anxiety can be treated with soul searching. Sitting down and understanding what would make us happy, and only us. Turning off the critical parent in our mind or even our culture. Our culture sets the stage for us to run around like chickens with our heads cut off and then has the ability to make it seem normal!!
It has become the norm, but it is not healthy. And it really is up to us to help that shift occur. I say it over and over again, but when we do our work, our corner of the world is changed. Sit down and do your personal homework. What are the internal goals you have? Do you want to feel more confident, more at ease? Do you want to feel like you are making a difference in peoples lives?
Start with the internal goals. When we are fully aligned with who we are, the rest follows. So go deep inside first and then make the list about the house and the husband/wife. When we come from this place of inner strength it really doesn't matter what is going on around us because we understand that we are not in conrtol, yet we are safe. From there we are free to make the choice to be happy in a way that is authentic and allows in the miracles.

New Years Resolutions

2009-01-06T09:52:00.000-05:00

A new year and a new dawn. I feel that I have turned some kind of corner with the new year. I have never been sensitive to the notion of a new year, this is my first time. Maybe it is coincidence, and maybe it's not.
That got me thinking about the idea of new years resolutions a lot. People always seem to be buzzing and ready to go with the untapped dreams they hold so close. This is usually the time when people seize the illusionary moment, believing it is somehow different from the moment before. The collective energy declares a clean slate.
So what happens a month down the road when the slate seems murky again? Buzzing slows and people lose their steam finding that there really was no true distinction between this moment and the one before after all.
Anything that motivates people to change for the better and walk further on the path of their personal evolution should be honored. At the same time, we need to engage in a deeper internal dialogue with ourselves because a clean slate appears when we have cleaned it. WE do the work to create space for that new picture. A new day does not clean the slate for us.
Cleaning the slate is like doing our emotional laundry and then taking an inventory of our closet. It's not just time to "do" better things. It our time to evaluate what is still working in our lives and what is not. Then get rid of what is not working and make sure we are creating enough space for what is. And also being mindful of all the other possibilities that are out there. The dreams that we can obtain as long as we are taking an inventory.
What if you never cleaned your closet out from the time you were little. Do you think those pants from the third grade would still fit? What beliefs are you carrying from the third grade that don't fit any more? Would you have space for the new and the better? No. You closet would be jammed with things that are just taking up space and not productive.
I encourage everyone to take an inventory of who they are, where they are and who they want to become. Let that be your New Years Resolution. That is the only way to true fulfillment.
If you want to lose weight, quit an unhealthy habit, start a hobby, whatever it is. The only place to start is to take a deep look at yourself and your life without judgment. Then remember that anything you can dream up can become your reality. You just have to do your laundry and get rid of the clutter first.
Want to clean out YOUR closet? Visit www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Feeling Good!

2008-12-12T08:34:00.000-05:00

I am always amazed at how serenity works. So much of the time it is easy to fall into the mindset that, "when life gets better, I will feel better". And in reality, that is not always so. Certainly there are situations in life that can be more draining than others, however, real serenity is truly about how we feel in the moment no matter what is going on.
I have noticed with myself that I am increasingly feeling better and my life situations have not changed at all. It is my perception that has changed and that has made all the difference in the world. I know for me personally getting further away from the recent split with my husband has also made things feel more smooth and "back to normal, although it is a new normal that I am creating at this time.
I really recognize how the best way to deal with life, for me, is to catch the curve balls as best as I can and run with them. Sometimes, when I run with them you would think my head was on fire. And other times it's more a of a sprint or a jog and I hang onto my connection with my higher self and Spirit as my GPS system. Most of the time, I do not know exactly where I am going. I just know that I am going and as long as I keep my contact, I am just creating a new and temporary "normal".
I have come to realize on a new and deeper level that the only thing that is permanent is change. That is the one thing that we can always count on happening in this human experience. I find that it is best to deal with that realization first and everything else seems to fall into place much easier. It takes my need to control out of the equation. I reminds me to release and surrender and to know that change is always happening and always with good reason, and usually reasons I don't understand until a long time after the fact, if at all.
It's not about knowing or understanding. It is about living in the moment, saying yes, being open to giving and receiving love and taking direct guidance from the only real support I have- Source.
I feel that this is how I am feeling serenity at this moment in time. God knows this will pass too and I will then relearn on an even deeper level how to move with the changes that continue to evolve me into who I am here to be.

Making Time

2008-12-07T20:54:00.000-05:00

I find myself in a place that so many of my clients come to me in- EXHAUSTED! Here I am, a single mother, with a part time job and a company of my own that I started barely a year ago. I feel some days that I am so tired, less on a physical level and more on the mental level, and I can see how challenging it feels for some people to make time to care for themselves. Did I mention that I am newly separated and going through the motions of that as well? Yes, I am tired, exhausted really. I have also needed the energy to process, digest and feel my way through some very uncomfortable things. I have been uncovering a lot about myself. Things I love and strengths that I have. I am also finding more that I would like to change about myself. I am happy about that because I am here to grow and evolve more than anything else. Evolving and self reflection- yet another thing that takes time!
With all that I have going on in my life right now it would be easy to make excuses if I wanted to. Excuses as to why I do not have the time or energy to care for myself, to stop and spend time doing what feels good. However, I find that with a little more effort than usual, I am able to create time for yoga, meditation, journaling and time to be playful. These are activities that are all too often seen as practices. Sure, that is what they are, but that is only a partial truth. I feel that they go beyond a practice and become an integral part of who we are and are really life savers.
It is through fully immersing and integrating these activities in my life and really being a part of who I am rather than what I do, I am afforded the luxury of enjoying my life no matter what is going on around me. Sometimes are easier than others, but I have found that when I am right with myself, I am right with the world. In this time of heightened stress and exhaustion, I am laughing, playing, enjoying life and most of all, so in touch with how wonderful life is. How everything is really as it should be. I am hopeful, there is no impending doom in my life as there was for me years before. Before I was able to make time for myself I wondered through life with the sense that "it" was not going to get better. I know now that the truth is, "it" always gets better. Then, there is another "it" that seems worse and that too gets better. It is me that is okay as long as I chose to be. And I only seem to be really open to this CHOICE when I have made the time for myself. To stop whatever I am doing a couple of times each day to do a little something that reminds me to be alive and in the moment. Take time to make time. That is the biggest gift that we could ever give ourselves. And like I always say, when we heal ourselves, the world heals too.

Living From Your Heart

2008-12-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

Eleven years ago, when my lights came on, I started therapy. I loved therapy and I loved my therapist. I spent a lot of time with my therapist, looking, inspecting and dissecting. I listened to my story and then I listened to her interpretations. I looked at how my situations at the time and how they mirrored the old. I could see the patterns that I created. I began to understand that I was not a victim, I was volunteer. I began to understand that when I reacted to so many situations in my life, they were from a very old place.
What a gift it was when my therapist taught me that when I react to something with a very high volume and the situation was not calling for that, it meant that I was reacting from a old place. It was more easily identifiable and that felt comforting to me. I now had a better idea of how to integrate all that I was learning because I had a "cue".
She then explained something I think she got from a book that was also very useful. An equation that went; I over E. This meant that when I was reacting emotionally that my "E" was over my "I" or my intellect was overriding my emotions. I needed to then find a solution to flip it the other way around. I used this practice for a long time and it served me well. I started understanding that I could feel all that I need to feel and still behave in a way that was not toxic to me or those around me.
Years later, however, I realized that I was spending a lot of time in my "I". I so enjoyed the benefits of not blowing up over stupid things, I enjoyed the more placid life experience this gave me and I also enjoyed control that processing gave. And where was my heart in all of this?
While I believe therapy gave me a solid foundation because of the way it allowed me to look at, as an adult, things that were still running my life. It created a safe space for those wounds to heal and a road map for me to integrate what I was learning and really practice here in Earth school. I also believe that I was not taught to distinguish the difference between my emotions and my heart. I had no idea that my heart was yearning to have a stronger voice as it continuously got covered up by my processing and compartmentalizing. Through this practice, I did not learn how to trust my heart, which for me is the center of my truth. Source speaks to me through my heart. Much of my intuition about my own life speaks to me through my heart and I had shut it down. I have learned that emotions are feelings and reactions due to experiences and perceptions we have. And the intellect processes the data like a computer. The heart however is where the purest piece of who we are resides. It is not reactionary. It is strong, trustworthy, it is pure and not swayed by all of our "shoulds".
It has been some time since I first understood this about myself. I have since been on the path of going to my heart when I am going through something. I do not always have to call a friend right away to "process". That does not mean that I do not call for support. What it does mean is that I count on my heart first. My heart does not have opinions. My heart honors me even if something does not seem logical. My world began to open up as soon as I realized and then leaned on the power of my heart for support. I sit with my heart and cry, write, meditate and THEN I call a friend!!

Moving Right Along in the Law of Attraction

2008-11-19T18:58:00.001-05:00

I am a big fan and a big believer in the law of attraction. I do not enjoy when people are so dogmatic about it though. I think that is one area where some people get easily caught up and it's understandable, but not the way I like to operate. I will say though, that in my life it is just so powerful. I find that when I relax and allow my life is wonderful and comfortable. There truly is something about relaxing into life that is so freeing. I have found myself relaxing into some of the "issues" I have been dealing with and they seem to be really taking care of themselves. I have become so aware that these so-called "issues" are just a reminder for me to get back into alignment with who I am, that's it! That is what they are here for and what they are telling me.
I ask regularly for help integrating that into my life and I always get the help I need. When I am in a place of centeredness, everything is great. That is what I think is so amazing. The power of our perceptions. I am always amazed that on a day where I am feeling fully aligned a lot of things could happen and I would move right through. A day that I am less aligned that same things could happen and that just might be the thing to throw me off. Then there I am again, asking for help. I happen to think that is part of why we are thrown off from time to time as well. To remind us to ask for help. Whether we are asking a person or our spiritual guidance, we are asking. It is in the asking that a lot of who we are and what we want are realized. That is why asking, in my humble opinion, is so important.
The law of attraction is allowing me to relax and allow. To be in my life. To connect me with the Source. To keep me aligned with who I am. It always reminds me to think of the bigger picture. That the same Source that supports the birds in the sky, and makes flowers bloom so perfectly is the same Source that is supporting me, that is supporting us. Nothing sits by a flower and says, "come on, what's taking you so long!". It allows itself to unfold exactly as it should and when it should. Detached from the outcome, it just is. It is relaxed and allowing. We really are supported by that same Source. There is no need to worry, we are already fully cared for.
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Imagine being asked to practice what I preach!

2008-11-12T20:51:00.000-05:00

I called a meeting with a few people at my daughters school. There is some confusion around her. This does not come as a surprise to me as she is a "new" child, a kind of crystal child and then some! It is usually hard to for the average adult to make sense out of this kind of child. They are interesting, that is for sure. Wise beyond their years, highly intuitive and sensitive to most things.
I talked with these people, including her teacher. She is having anxiety and that is causing school to be difficult for her. I knew this meeting would take a lot from me, a lot as far as what I have come to understand about myself, my growth, my wounds and the world. I knew I needed to stay out of the victim role and use my anger in a productive way. I knew that my wounds could creep right in if I wasn't fully awake. I had prayed and meditated. I had processed and journal- ed. Yes, this was a big meeting and I was prepared.
All was going smoothly. I went in and was exactly the way I had hoped. I let them know that I wanted, for all of us to work together to make this experience better. (Meanwhile, I am making arrangements that are better suited for us, another school).
Then I heard the teacher say something that was so false I almost thought I couldn't have heard her correctly. It seems that another parent had misheard something I had said (I am still wondering how) and went to the teacher all upset. She apparently said some colorful things about me. And here I thinking, "Well, no wonder my very intuitive daughter has picked up on these feelings that her teacher simply does not like her". I did not say this. And yes, I was angry. She was projecting onto me what this other woman had concluded about me. I felt myself getting defensive. I did not react. I simply said that I was sorry if what I had said had been so misunderstood and that what was heard was not true for me at all.
The teacher was not satisfied and seemed happy to defend the mindset.
Here I was with my broken mirror looking me dead in the face. I asked myself, "what about this is mirroring something back at me that is so painful for me to look at?"
I realized that this reminded me of different scenarios when I was younger. I did not feel understood and I remember clearly being the scapegoat. I was in pain then, and I was in a familiar kind of pain now. OUCH!
As I prayed myself back down the tree I had run up I had to remember to thank Source for answering my prayers. I realized what I had prayed for was this, "God, I ask that you are ever present in this meeting. I ask that you and your angels work with all involved on finding the best solution for my daughter. I also ask for my behavior to be from my highest place. Please help me to heal old wounds instead of allowing them to control the meeting. If they come up, nudge me! Thank you!" My prayer was along the lines of this, and clearly, they were heard.
I am not a believer that life has to be so painful to learn lessons. I am sure there are so many ways that healing can occur with this type of situation. I also understand, at least for myself, that it is really about being aware. Once I am aware it's as if a light has be cast upon the shadow and it no longer has to have the hold on me that it once did.
I still have some things to process. I am not sure if this mother is open to me wanting to open up a dialogue about this matter. I know that is what would make the current situation feel better for me. I am not sure if that is good for her. I will continue to pray and soul search for the answers to this one.
As far as these old wounds? They are still there but I know a big chip came off of it today!
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Self Esteem- A Broken Mirror?

2008-11-12T12:46:00.000-05:00

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life to date is how much we. as human beings, take on the roles that others put us in. How often as children have we heard things like, "boys don't cry", "don't get too big for your britches", "ladies don't do that"? How very sad. Then many of us get to be older and wonder why our lives are not working out the way we had hoped. Why did we end up in a career that is just a job? Why are in relationships that do not really fill us up? Why do so many people resent people who are happy?
What I have seen through my practice and in my own life is that from the time we are little we are told, more or less, what we "should" do, and who we are "expected" to be. Very few people were raised with permission to be who they are and express themselves fully.
This is not be because our parents, teachers or grandparents were out to get us, it is because it is how they were raised. It is also about their comfort level. If we are able to easily express ourselves as children, like so many children do, we hit on topics that are uncomfortable and taboo at times. Then we are told to be quiet or put in our room. And for others, maybe it wasn't so dramatic.
We were simply raised by people themselves who never realized that who and what they are is really up to them, a CHOICE. They then pass that along to us.
This is what I refer to as a broken mirror. Each time our feelings, desires or interests are squelched it is like a rock has been thrown at our mirror of self perception. After a period of time, the mirror gets cracks and holes in it. The good news is that the person looking in the mirror is still there, whole and complete. It is the reflection that has shifted, not the nature of who we are.
This is the foundation to the ailing self esteem in so many people these days. Knowing on some level that we deserve and want so much more, and not knowing how to reach for it. Or, not knowing that we are allowed too.
I encourage everyone to take an inventory of your life. See where you would change things, anything. Who would you be? What would you be doing? What would you be wearing?
Remember, when we heal ourselves we are healing the world. This is a service to not only you, but to humankind.
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

YAY! OBAMA!

2008-11-06T06:03:00.000-05:00

Can I just say that I am over the top happy about Obama winning? I am not only happy that he has has won, I am happy about what this symbolizes for us. This means that the shift is really happening. The shift that so many of us are talking about these days. Here is further validation that we collectively have gotten our vibration high enough to accept a president who has heart and deeply cares about us. I have never been more proud of the American people than I am right now.
I did not vote for Obama because of the color of his skin. With that said, I feel that his having a darker shade of color than mine is the icing on the cake. Not only have we elected someone who is genuine, we have made a big leap in chipping away this horrific "spell" that the states fell into so many years ago. Thinking that people could be property! Slavery, that word alone makes me want to weep. This is a giant leap for the recognition that we are all one race. I enjoy the different colors of the world. There is so much richness in culture, so much we can learn from each other. But at the end of the day, we are truly not different or separate at all.
Obama is a symbol of hope. A symbol of the good that is headed our way. Of course this will not happen overnight, but the wait will be well worth it.
My deepest desire is to see us as human beings understand that we are in this together. We do nothing alone. We do nothing that does not effect the world. There is not one place on planet earth where we could ship people we do not like and not impacted by them. We are all different strokes on a canvas, but we are a part of the same painting. Not one stroke is waisted. Not one stroke does not belong. Collectively we make the painting more beautiful. Let's embrace that.
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

We are always being looked after

2008-11-03T20:19:00.000-05:00

I find that so many of us, no matter how centered we are, can fall into the pit of feeling like we are alone. At present, the world is going through a major shift. I see this as somewhat of a birthing process. Or a storm that is clearing away all the unnecessary debris and deadwood to allow for the new blossoms to smell more fragrant and for their color to be more vibrant.
Still though, how do we know there is a bigger picture? How do we know that we are really being looked out for? I want to share a story with you that is a part of my personal experience.
One night as I closed my eyes to go to sleep and I noticed that there was a spirit with me wanting to deliver a message. I asked her name and she told me she was Karen (please note that all names have been changed to protect the anonymity of those involved) and she had a message for Sally. She gave me the details of her death, I had a good view of her to know what she looked like and then I asked what her message was. She told me that she wanted Sally to know that she was around her and saw the pain she was in. She wanted Sally to understand that part of her life's purpose was to be an example to Sally and others like her. Karen wanted Sally to know that there was a different way to live. Karen had a drug problem which had lead to her brutal murder. I got all the information that she wanted to give to me and I called Sally's sister Elise the next morning. Sally was someone I knew very little, however, her sister and I were close. I explained to Elise that I had a visitor the night before and asked if this person sounded familiar. I gave her the details surrounding her death, some odds and ends that made no sense to me but would make sense to Sally. Elise knew who I was speaking of and said that Sally had been very rattled when Karen died in the late 1970's. I asked that this message be passed along to Sally and told Elise that if she had any questions to please feel free to contact me.
About two weeks later I got a call from Elise telling me that Sally had been very emotional about this contact. That all the information was accurate and she felt really good hearing from her. I always feel deeply emotional about being able to share this gift with others and have it effect their life. I got teary eyed knowing that this really effected her. Then Elise went on she said, "Katy, I have not told you the amazing part of this story. I told Sally when Karen made contact with you. Sally explained that she was crying and hitting an emotional and spiritual bottom around 10 pm when Karen visited. She was praying that she would be given a sign that showed her that she was being looked after, that her prayers were being heard." I began to cry. While the work that I do never surprises me, it always creates a sense of awe.
I share this with you to help you understand that we are always being looked after. If you are ever feeling alone in this world remember this story and know that you are not ever alone. There is so much here that we do not see or understand. We are more cared for than we could ever know. There are so many beings, not to mention Creator, that are behind the scenes helping us along the way and carrying us when we need a lift.
The other piece of this is to never lose sight of prayer and its power. Prayer is the single most powerful tool there is. Prayers are always answered. The answers may not always come in the package that we expect, but they are heard and they are answered.
Know that you are so loved and so special and if you need anything, all you need to do is ask.
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Live With The Lights On

2008-11-01T16:49:00.000-04:00

Conscious living take practice and takes a gut level intention. So often we stumble into situations where life hands an opportunity to be fully awake and so often we do not rise to the occasion. We tend to lean on the old tapes and allow that "old" self get into the drivers seat.
Living consciously requires us to identify what our old tapes are playing. What are your beliefs about yourself? What is going on in your life right now that is causing you discomfort? It is within these life situations that we begin to understand and then unravel if we so chose, what our beliefs are.
Our discomfort is an indication that what we are doing, saying or experiencing is not congruent with the True Self that we are. It is the little self that is running ragged and wreaking havoc.
Then what do we do when we begin to understand that our discomfort is not around to show us how people, places or things make us mad. This is happening so that we can begin to fully understand and then express that part of us that longs for expression.
When we are in this state journal, meditate, pray or talk. Get silent. Pray and ask, "what would you like me to understand about myself through this? Wait for an answer, it will come. You will have an "AH-HA!", you will dream about it, or you will even over hear a conversation that almost seems like it meant for you. Sometimes you will hear a song on the radio or playing in your head with a message that feels like it is for you. You will know, just be open. The answers always come and they do not always come in the way that we would expect.
Discomfort in our lives is simply a way for us to get to know who we are better and allows us to come into our authentic selves more fully. Once we open up to the lesson in a situation and see past the illusion of a problem, a solution arises or the situation takes care of itself.
Watch this in your own life and you will see. We are not here to be in pain, we are here to be in joy. A part of getting to that joy, that light, is to clear away some of that shadow. The shadow is an essential piece of who we are. It is designed to walk us into the light.
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Live With The Lights On

2008-10-28T14:48:00.000-04:00

Earlier today I went to my daughters school to help out in the Library. I do this every other week and enjoy it very much. At the end of the class I heard my daughters teacher telling her how disappointed she was in my daughter for something that was really silly and some that she and I have discussed before. I could feel myself getting angry with the teacher. I spent about two minutes feeling angry, then I moved to, "okay, so I'm angry...what is this teaching me about myself?" I realized that what this was teaching me is that I do want more for my daughter. I have not been feeling like this school is a fit for her in so many ways and have already take the steps to find something that will be a better fit for her.
Then the Drama Queen in me came out. I thought, "who can I call to bitch to about this and how unfair and crazy this all is?" That is when I noticed the real discomfort. I have asked my higher self to nudge me when I am acting out. There was the nudge. "Yes?" I said to myself.
What I came to was that while my anger was okay and it is great that I am learning about myself through all of this, I was missing a very important piece. That WE ARE NOT VICTIMS.
I am meeting with the teacher today (that was already planned) and I was ready to go in with my victim all ready to shoot with both barrels. Well, maybe not that bad, but the feeling was there. The point is, is that when we are angry that is okay and important that we look at why we are angry. What do we want the situation to look like. It's important not to stop there. We need to come out of victimhood for the anger to be productive. What can we do to make it better? Do we understand that most people, places and things happen and they really do not have any to do with us. And most people do not set out to make us unhappy. Most of us have an agenda, whether we know it or not, a lot of the time. This agenda has everything to do with getting our needs met and is not about making others angry or uncomfortable. This is why it is important that we make sure our agenda is keeping our side of the street clean and being responsible to our choices and our life. I look forward to this parent teacher conference in just about an hour! I am opening my heart up to love and will be praying for the highest and best good for all involved to rein. That is all I can do...and then call that other school and see if they take new kids mid year!! lol
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com

Live With The Lights On

2008-10-21T09:45:00.000-04:00

Life has been an interesting journey lately. Since my husband and I split everything seems different. Surprisingly in good ways, but there is still an undercurrent of sadness. I am allowing it to come and go as it needs too. It is an interesting balance to not be swallowed by the feelings and the moment but to also allow myself the space to be where I need to be. The main thing I know to do is when I am feeling the tough feelings to remember to be an observer.
It's interesting as I see the world going through a Root Chakra issue, in many ways I am as well. There is a piece of me that is looking at life during certain moments from a survival mode. While that does not seem to be at the forefront, I know it is there. I am living in a lot of faith right now. There is an excitement to this that is exhilarating and a fear that ebbs and flows through this as well. I know the part of me that feels the excitement is my Observer, or my spirit. I know it is profoundly excited by my paying attention to its tugs and pulls. It is happy to have the chance to lead me to places that it wishes to go so that I reach a deeper level of love, meaning and joy in my life. It's all pretty amazing! I'm grateful to have the support I have in my life. My friends, family and my spiritual self that always reminds me to focus on the bigger picture and to use what appears to be a reality more as a spring board for what I want to be. This keeps me free and prevents me getting stuck. I have no doubt that I am on my way to wonderful things!
www.LiveWithTheLightsOn.com