“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

She wiggles her toes into the “comfiest place on earth” (between my knees) and we cozy up to each other to talk about the day.

We giggle and chat and I ask her questions. I feel a prodding in my spirit, so I ask, “Is there anything you need to tell me?”

She hesitates.

“No, mommy.”

But I can tell there is something. So I dig gently.

“Baby, you know mama is on your team, right? Nothing you could ever say will make me love you any less. You are safe with me.”

She looks at me with large eyes, unsure if what I’m saying is true.

“There is something, but I’m afraid to tell you.”

“Darling, I will never discipline you for confessing to me or telling me something you need to be free of. I want you to trust me. I’m here for you, okay? You can tell me.”

I can see it. Shame. She sits up, covers her face, and just keeps repeating, “I’m so scared you’re going to be mad at me.”

She’s six, and my comforting words barely break through her fear. Her unfounded fear. I am wide open to be arms of grace, but she balls up and covers her nervousness between giggles and sad eyes.

I take her hand and tell her again that I’m on her side.

She speaks into the pillow that is over her face. She tells me her secret. And then,

she cries.

And I hold her and I tell her how much I love her. I tell her that I did the same thing when I was her age, and she uncovers her face and looks at me with surprise. “You did?!” “Yep. And I didn’t like it either.”

Confession is good for the spirit. We smile and hold each other in grace. We pray. We kick shame out the door.

I’m her mama, and He’s our Father, and shame is not invited into our family. 

We cozy up again to giggle and chat some more.

We are unveiled, and we are

free.

 “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

How do you try and guard against shame in your children?

My book, my very first going-to-be-traditionally-published book, gets turned in today.

I have heart palpitations, and I’m giddy excited (honey, will you take me out to dinner tonight to celebrate? ;) In honor of this major milestone in my life, I’d like to celebrate by giving you some of my favorite things from DaySpring. WOOT!

No need to prolong the goodness, let’s get started.

My first favorite thing is the Redeemed – Grace – Fashion Earrings:

Below is me wearing the beautiful earrings while getting windblown with the beautiful Annie Downs at the Killer Tribes conference. Don’t the earrings just shine?!

(Photo by @kasshodge for Picha Global)

Next up is the Redeemed Antiqued Gold Finish Necklace:

Psst…take a look above at the necklace Annie is wearing.

I wore it to my first meeting with my publisher:

(Joel, sorry for showing “the world” the pic with your eyes closed, but it’s the only one I have!)

Side-note: this is me locked *in* the Thomas Nelson gate. Yes, I managed to get locked in. I had to call security. Great first impression (the security guy took the picture).

Last but…you get it. This:

I don’t have any pictures of me using the Truly Treasured wallet, but I can assure you, it’s the one I use. It’s sitting in my purse right now. I adore it.

Here’s the stellar news: I’m not just giving away one of these items, oh no. I’m giving away 10 sets of all three items. Did you hear (read) that?! 10 SETS! Of ALL THREE! (Thank you DaySpring! Because when I say “I’m” giving them away, really, they are).

Isn’t this just such happy news? I’m happy. I hope you are, too.

To Enter, just use the form below! The winner will be chosen through Random.org. Good “luck”!

Oh, one more thing. You can get 30% off any of the three items above by using the code: Redeemed30. The coupon code is valid through Thursday, May 24th.

The links to the lovlies are affiliate links.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friends, there is a perception out there by some that I “do it all.”

I really, really despise that false perception.

“Do it all” implies that I do “it” ALL. What is “all?” I do a few things that I believe God has called me to do, and sometimes I do them well, and sometimes I completely botch them.

Here’s what I do:

• I mother
• I homeschool my 6 year old
• I wife
• I blog
• I write
• I host a conference
• I speak

Let me break it down:

I mother

I cuddle with my babes every morning when they wake up. All three of us sleep together in the mornings, and it is the sweetest thing ever. We get up, we have breakfast, sometimes my babes watch some TV, sometimes they play, sometimes we go to the gym. I’m trying to make bible time during breakfast an anchor, something consistant for them. Their jobs are to make their beds, help me clean up, and unload the dishwasher. This does not happen at the same time every day. Some mornings we have a friend over, or go to a friends house, swimming lessons, kids museum or science museum (depending on the season/day). My 6 year old takes piano lessons, ballet lessons (for $5 a week – a missionary at a church teaches worship ballet), and swim lessons. My 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter only take swimming lessons.

Then I do lessons with my 6 year old, which is very simple and doesn’t take much time. We do math, reading, and bible. Soon we will also be doing art. My other two play, or color, or watch TV during this time. Side note: we stopped all lessons except for reading from January until May because my daughter was overwhelmed and was struggling with reading. We picked back up in May.

After lunch, my babes have quiet times – my 3 year old naps and the other two play quietly in our play room.

After naps they play or have a friend over, or help me clean or go on errands. Every day is different.

My husband gets home at 3:30 every day, and so we spend time together, have a very early dinner (usually around 4:30) and then we just hang out.

Exciting stuff, eh?

I wife

My husband and I have landed in a wonderful groove with each other, and so we aren’t always striving to “work on our marriage.” We love each other, we enjoy hanging out with each other, we make each other laugh, and we do business together. He helps me run the conference, and he’s dipping his toes into the possibility of starting a business where we work together. We have a good thing.

I blog

I blog mostly in the evenings after my babes go to bed (they go sleep around 8:30). Sometimes I don’t blog because I’m tired or want to watch a movie with the hubs. I’m fine with not blogging every day. I also have an assistant who helps me with email, affiliates, and other tasks; she’s amazing. She also runs the Allume blog.

I write

I have written eBooks here and there. For 31 Days to Clean I got up around 5am in the morning to work on it. Also, it wasn’t a book from scratch, I took posts and revised them and that is what made up 31 Days to Clean (and Frumps to Pumps). I only wrote two “new content” eBooks, and both of those I mostly worked on in the evenings. I probably wasn’t blogging very much during the writing of those eBooks. When it came to writing Desperate, I had to hire someone to help during the week, and I was able to do that because of the success of my other eBooks. I have a grad student come once a week for a few hours to clean my house and play with my babes. I would not be able to write a book if I didn’t have her. Also, my husband usually gives me Saturday mornings or an evening to write. I took two months off my blog while writing Desperate. Also, when you are compelled to do something, you just do it, you find ways.

I host a conference

I agonized over whether or not to keep doing the conference. My husband and I prayed, sought out council, and talked it over a thousand times. We believe God led us to this conference, and we made the decision to keep doing it (but we hold it loosely; only as God leads). As for working on it, I mainly work on the conference on Saturday mornings, or while driving somewhere (this is when I make phone calls), in the evenings, or during my kids quiet times. I schedule all meetings with sponsors during those quiet times. I also have an amazing team of women who work with me, and so we spread out the work. We each operate according to our strengths so the work is fun/easier. I also meet once a month with my co-host to work on the conference (this is usually on a Saturday when my husband will do something with our kiddos). I was going to host a second conference, but realized it would be too much, so I canceled it.

I speak

I rarely speak. I’m not aspiring to be a speaker, and I choose very carefully what I’m willing to do. I don’t like being away from my family, so I set pretty strict boundaries on my travel time.

…

Sometimes I mess it all up and feel terrible. My life is not wrapped up in some box with a bow. I’m selfish and lazy. I struggle with listening to voices other than God’s (“You shouldn’t…” You should…”). But, I’m also an overcomer. I choose to not stay in my sin. I go to God, I accept His grace and wisdom, and start over. I persevere in my ideals. I don’t give up. 

So no, I don’t do it all. I do the things that I believe God has chosen for my life. I’m walking by faith and leaning into Him every step of the way.

Why do you think we use the term “do it all” flippantly? What does it mean to “do it all”?

Friends, I want to personally invite you a very special place; one that is dear to my heart and, I believe, God conceived.

Allume Social.

If you are a blogger, or looking to blog, or a writer or a small business owner, Allume Social might be for you.

Allume Social is a social media and blogging conference for Christian women. It’s the proverbial comfy chair in which we meet, tell, listen, learn, and love deeply for a weekend as we learn social media, blogging, and writing skills while also refreshing our souls.

Our goal at Allume Social is to minister to the woman, the blogger, the story teller. We want to love well, encourage, and spur women on to shine the Light that lives within them. We want to serve you in ways that cultivate the Light in you, help you expand your influence, use your influence well (in your home, your community, or around the world) and encourage you with stories of those who are living out the Light online.

At Allume Social you will learn:

• How to start and maintain a blog, grow your blog, extend your reach, and earn an income through blogging (beginner, intermediate, and advanced labs available)
• How to build a platform
• How to build a successful brand
• How to market well and with integrity
• How to become proficient in social media
• How to craft words well and hone a message that matters (via our writing labs)
• How to get published (publishers and agents will be at the conference)
• How to create and market eBooks
• How to give wings to your ideas
• How to keep focused on faith and family

What you can look forward to:

• A soul-filling
• Spending time with kindred spirits (expect late night conversations in the lounge)
• Inspiring keynote talks
• Inspiring stories
• Hilarity (via Smilebooth)
• Opening night party with delicious treats and fun
• Musical entertainment
• Closing night coffee house with praise and worship
• A gift bag that will bless your socks off

The Allume Social Mission:

The Allume Social conference exists to offer a gathering place for kindred spirits to connect, learn, grow, and be refreshed so they can persevere in being a people who bring hope to the world through the social media medium. We want to reflect His Light in all our spheres of influence. Our goal is to go beyond the surface into intentional blogging and real life living, all to the glory of God. Allume Social is a one-of-a-kind conference that seeks to engage women by teaching blogging techniques and social media skill while also urging and encouraging women to live fully integrated lives with their faith and family.

Our speakers include: Ann Voskamp, Sally Clarkson, Crystal Paine, Darren Rowse (Problogger), and all of these amazing, beautiful speakers.

Allume Social is going into its third year (it has sold out both previous years), and we expect around 350 kindred spirits. It’s held at the Hilton in Harrisburg, PA October 25-27th.

You can register for the conference here.

Or you can…

Win a FREE conference pass!

Tonight at 9pm EST there is a Twitter chat all about the conference and its official coffee sponsor Avodah Coffee. Avodah coffee is owned by my dear friend Jessica and her husband. We’ll be chatting about blogging, faith, life, family, and coffee.

During the chat you’ll have a chance to win:

• Free coffee for a year
• An Allume Social conference pass (which includes all meals, sessions, keynotes, and an amazing gift bag)
• A Bag of Avodah coffee, your choice (5 winners)
• An Avodah coffee sample pack (3 winners)

The night he came home with the truck

My husband has been dreaming of having a truck since I married him nine years ago. He not only loves the idea of having a truck, but it is actually quite practical for a handyman like my man.

But alas, we had no money to spare for a truck. We shared our used van and a motorcycle my dad gave to him as a gift early in our marriage. We lived on about $300 a month for groceries for our growing family of five, and every spare penny went to paying off school loans and collecting homeschooling supplies.

Did I mention my husband cut up all my credit cards when we got married? Oh, yes he did.

Read the rest of my story at Money Saving Mom!

Friends, I’m almost finished with writing and editing my first traditionally published book.

(Squee!)

For those of you who don’t know, I’m writing a book with Sally Clarkson called, Desperate – Hope for the mom who needs to breathe. It comes out in January published by Thomas Nelson.

And feeling a bit crazy.

I go between wanting to laugh hysterically (as in, send me to place with white padded walls) and cry during this editing process. I believe so much in this book and its message, but fine-tuning it is overwhelming. I have only two-weeks left to have it done, ready, complete (aside from copyediting). How can it be done in two weeks? I need months more time to get this book the way I want it! But, I don’t have months, I have weeks, which are really just a few days. I have bits of time carved out and then, it’s out of my hands {deep breaths}.

You probably won’t see me here over the next week or so as I’ll be drowning in rewriting and editing and bible study creating during the times I would normally be blogging. Would you pray for me, please? For energy, clarity and focus? I’m sort of a nervous wreck trying to finish well while at the same time trusting God with the limitations I have. I really, really appreciate your prayers.

Once I get through this editing process, the fun begins; you all can help me choose the cover of the book! Love that part. By the way, have any ideas for what the cover should look like?

Alright, back to crazy land. Love to you all.

I’m on the phone and she’s wrapping the kitchen floor mat around her body.

I walk into another room and she whines and screeches. She’s following me everywhere, whining all the way. She just wants me to stop and pay attention to her.

He is jumping on the couch and then exasperating his sister. He is banging the chair back and forth, and making all kinds of noise, and I’m about to go crazy and he’s pushing all my buttons.

He just needs me.

And than there is the oldest girl, the one who just looks at me with sad eyes that say, “I just need you.”

My babies, they need their mama.

And your babies, they need you.

Sometimes our children will act crazy to get our attention. They will disobey, they will push our buttons, they will test boundaries. They don’t need more discipline or harsh looks or “stop it!” from us. No, they need just us. They need us to put them before the phone conversation, the cleaning, the reading, the whatever. They just need us to smile, to bend down and hug, to laugh with, spend time with, and to just plain pay attention to them. Sometimes they just need us to say to our friend or important person on the phone, “I’m sorry, can I call you back, my children need me now.”

Our children, just like us, want to be known. They want to be respected. They want to know they matter more than anyone else, because they are ours.

If your babies are driving you crazy today, consider giving them more of you. Give them your full attention. Give them your arms to lean into. Give them your eyes and your smile. Make them feel like the most important people in the world.

Because they are, in this moment, they are.

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” Galatians 6:7-9

I start to get lax because I’m tired, or bored.

My little ones are happy and all is well in their worlds…and this lasts forever, right? No, of course it doesn’t. At some point, life will invade them in ways they don’t now anticipate. Confusion, heartache, curiosity will take new forms, and the bow that holds everything together beautifully will begin to come undone. This is the way of life in a sin-filled world. And very soon, before I’m ready, I won’t be so perfect in their eyes. But now, right now in this season, they are like little chicks following me and imitating me and cozying up under my wings where it is safe and the most comfy place in the world. Now is time for the sowing.

And yet, I’m inadequate. Good thing, I suppose, because if He’s strong in me when I am weak, than my sowing may well produce something beautiful in spite of myself.

“Lord, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am.” -John Piper

But even so, I must be diligent in my sowing, in instilling every bit of truth and wisdom and goodness into my little chicks. I may not be able to save their souls, but I can stick Words of life into their spirits. I may not be able to protect them from wickedness, or heartache, or struggles in their faith, but I can give them a foundation of grace and truth. I can give them unconditional love. I can speak words of affirmation over them and to them. I can pray with them and teach them to pray. I can encourage them to ask as many questions as they want about the world and the bible and God and Satan, and I can be honest when I don’t have an answer. I can teach them to always hope, because hope is the anchor of the soul. Our hope is in Jesus, the one who isn’t behind a veil, keeping us at arms length unless we prove ourselves. No, He stepped onto the earth, and then He stepped into our very Spirits. A divine mingling with the sin-infested. That’s what we have, who know Him. And that I can tell my children about, that they can have the divine living in them, helping them, counseling them, teaching them, and reminding them about grace. I want to do this, live this, every day. There are times of weariness, because sometimes I’m just tired or selfish, but I will not lose heart. I will not quit. I will not allow myself to “grow weary”; to give up. I will commit to sowing for the long haul, for the time that I have now.

“Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3

“You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.” Psalm 128:2

…

Have you considered what you’re sowing? What do you hope to reap one day?

Courtney blogs over at WomenLivingWell.org . She has been married to her high school sweet heart for 14 years, homeschools her son and daughter and is a graduate of the Moody Bible Institute. Her passion to see “women living well” landed her on the Rachael Ray Show in November, 2009. Since then, she blogs regularly about faith, marriage, parenting, homemaking and more. You can also find her blogging over at GoodMorningGirls.org

…

I grew up in a home where a Bible was always on the kitchen table. Just as my mother daily served physical food for me and my sisters, she also served us spiritual food. She always had a verse on the tip of her tongue for every situation I was facing. By the world’s standards, my mom was not a “successful” woman. She didn’t have a college degree or a corner office BUT she pursued holiness tenaciously! Holiness was her driving force.

“The lust for money and power moves men when a bulldozer wouldn’t move them otherwise. They will punish their bodies, spending most of their waking hours sitting in an office chair, then working out furiously in a gymnasium…eating tiny breakfasts…all in order to get ahead in the world…HOLINESS has never been the driving force of the majority.” ~ Elizabeth Elliot

What is your driving force?

We have a glorious oak tree in our front yard. Each summer we rejoice in the shade it brings us. I can’t see the roots but clearly they go deep. How deep are your roots?

It is in the secret discipline of private prayer and meditation on God’s word – that our roots grow deep into the rich soil of holiness.

But the reality is… Holiness has never been the driving force of the majority.

We live in a culture where prayerless tweets and status updates fly through our fingers without a thought towards holiness. The lines between principle and impulse have been blurred as the information age rapidly swirls like wind about us – moving us one direction and then the next.

All the information of every library in the world, we carry in our purses in the form of our iphones. But most of the food for our minds found there…is emptiness…emptiness served on a platter for our starved souls to feed on.

“All the libraries and studies are mere emptiness compared with our closets.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

What is the closet Spurgeon speaks of? His private prayer closet. The cliche is true – prayer changes things. The depth of our private prayer will determine the depth of our holiness.

“For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” ~ I Peter 1:16 NIV

Our standard of holiness does not come from culture or the relativism of our modern age – our standard of holiness is absolute – it’s God’s holiness.

The world tells a man who seeks holiness he is “hung up, not in touch with his feelings, a do-gooder, a party pooper, holier than thou – any label that will exonerate the rest of us of the responsibility of being Christ-like. We pity his naivete, his narrowness, his unreality, never suspecting that there could be in our midst a few whose minds are set on things above because their lives are hid with Christ.” ~ Elizabeth Elliot

If our roots are not deep into the rich soil of God’s word we will be swayed by the empty soul food we feed on. If holiness is not our driving force we will be blown to and fro by the ways of the world and the emotions of our hearts. Holiness has never been the driving force of the majority.

And so I’m reminded of the dailiness of my mother’s prayers and Bible study. I’m reminded of her faithfulness to carry God’s word on her tongue. I’m reminded of her clear discernment of which wordly philosophies or feelings to reject. And I’m reminded of her tenacity for holiness…and it all began with a Bible in the kitchen – a mother’s prayer closet.

On Women Living Well, we are currently in the midst of a series titled 5 Weeks, 5 Disciplines, 5 Challenges. This week’s challenge is to commit the first minute of every morning to God in prayer and his word? 1 minute may seem a bit stingy with our time – but I know that once we begin with 1 minute – it will naturally multiply into more minutes and a discipline will be born! Will you join me in committing the first minute of your day to God for the next week?

Let holiness be your driving force.

Walk with the King,

Need some direction in your daily Bible reading? Go here to receive Courtney’s free eBook titled “The Proverbs 31 Woman~One Virtue at a Time.” This eBook has been chosen by the Good Morning Girls to be their summer book club. This book club begins May 14th and will run through August 15th. To find the daily Bible reading plan, how to get your free copy of the eBook and all the other details go to WomenLivingWell.org

Giveaway!

Want to tuck the Word into little hearts? I highly, HIGHLY recommend Scripture Lullabies. We have both volumes (both were sent to us from the wonderful people at Scripture Lullabies) and we love, love, love them. We’ve had Volume 1 for a couple of years, and we just got Volume 2, which my daughter listens to every night while she falls asleep.

These scripture-filled lullabies are so beautiful and so relaxing.

AND

They give 1 out of every 10 CD’s sold to a pregnancy resource clinic to bless the mamas. Isn’t that beautiful? I not only wish I would known about pregnancy resource clinics when I was 16 and pregnant, but I also worked at one for a few years. You know they are very close to my heart.

Okay, so here’s the deal, there are THREE CD’s or digital downloads up for grabs (your choice), and you can choose either Volume 1 or Volume 2. So there will be three winners chosen.

TO ENTER:

You must use the form below to enter (if you don’t see it, give it a few seconds to load). You can do multiple things for multiple entries.

Good “luck”!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

My friend had just given birth to her first baby, and a tiny one at that.

Little Viv was a preemie, but such a cutie, and was finally home in the arms of her mama. I took a meal over to the family, chili and some fresh baked bread. I had no children at this point, and was so excited for my friend, I had a million questions. And I wanted to see the baby room! We sat down in her living room and she was trying to nurse, but was having a difficult time. I kept blabbering on about who-knows-what, asking questions, and looking around, while she was being polite and gracious but trying to focus on getting her baby to eat – which the baby would not do. I don’t know when I finally stopped talking and left, but looking back, I can’t believe my friend didn’t say to me, “Sarah, can we chat later? I need to nurse Viv now.” But she didn’t do that; her kindness covered my poor etiquette.

I really had no idea how inconsiderate I was being that day. I would never do that to a mama now unless she asked me to stay and chat.

Come on over to (in)courage with me and read the rest of my article, Grace For the Woman Who Doesn’t Know.

…

The necklace in the picture can be found here. (Affiliate link)

Here is what the front looks like: