Yesterday I spent coworking, which means I was pretty much sitting at a desk all day. By the time I left for home I was feeling frustrated with myself as I’d not produced much. My focus had been all over the place and I’d forgotten my own 45/15 rule for productive work. I’d dipped in and out of emails, written a blog post, checked stats, looked around some forums, messed around with a keyword tool, chatted on messenger, chatted to colleagues etc. etc.

By early afternoon my energy levels were dropping and I was feeling bored but I ignored my feelings and continued “messing” around.

So, as in the quote above, today I get to try a different approach. Here’s my intention for how it will go:

1.  List what I want to get done today. (Completed)
2.  Work with my 45/15 rule.
3.  Focus on the next thing and the next thing only.

So, that’s me. I’m off . . .

What makes the difference is our attitude and how conscious we are of our choices.

Here’s an example. Yesterday, I found an old exercise in one of my journals. I’d listed the things I wanted to create in my life. Then I allocated an amount of money to each of them, so I could see how much I needed to earn, on a daily basis, in order to have them.

I’ve done this type of exercise on a number of different occasions but it has never been that useful to me. That’s because I know that much of the lifestyle I desired couldn’t simply be bought. So, despite my best intentions, I’ve always ended up feeling the exercise was a bit pointless.

Today, I decided to experiment with a different approach. Instead of just writing off this process as useless, I asked myself how this exercise might help me rather than if it would.

I know from past experience that setting a numerical goal in a numerical context can be a great motivator. For example, when I wanted to pay off my credit card debt I drew up a graph with 3 different coloured lines. Two represented the amount I owed on two different credit cards and the third represented the total debt. The lines went from the left hand side of the graph showing the amount I currently owed to zero at the point in the future by which I wanted it paid off. Every month, after receiving my credit card statements, I plotted the actual amount that I still owed.

Having a visual numerical representation of my progress inspired me to keep going and to beat the goals I’d set. The second month, which was one with a lot of family birthdays, was the only one  when I didn’t meet or surpass my targets.

So, in this situation, where my goals were easily quantifiable, making them measurable was hugely successful.

However, not all goals are quantifiable and even when they are, the way in which they are achieved is critical as to whether they feel like a prison or a liberation.

Creating a desired future lifestyle is never going to keep you motivated if the journey to it’s creation is filled with stress, striving or struggle. So it’s important to remember that the numbers are a tool – something to aim for – but they are not the destination.

The destination is the process. It’s about the journey itself.

So, bearing that in mind – how might the exercise of monetising a lifestyle be helpful?

1.  It gives me something concrete that I can measure my progress against.

2.  It gives me something concrete that I can measure my results against, so I can adjust my course if I’m no longer on target.

And . . .

3. When I have the experience of working towards the results I can see if I enjoy the journey enough to make their pursuit worthwhile.

The exciting news is . . . I’m in! I’ve been accepted into Ed Dale’s mentoring programme and the first 1 : 1 session is on Thursday.

The first step was to create a pre-start questionnaire which was a little unnerving since a number of the questions didn’t really apply to my situation. I’m feeling a bit nervous about how Ed will view my approach but am also not going to waste any energy worrying about it in advance.

As I said when I applied:

I am fascinated by what makes people “tick” and why some of us are successful and others not etc. etc. AND I am fascinated by technology and the internet. I would love to be able to combine the 2.

That is the area I’m really interested in – where the 2 worlds collide. How can you be successful when it’s not lack of information/a system that’s the problem. It’s your habits/beliefs/behaviours/personality etc? And, can the “you” bit be built into the learning process? How can technology help us do that?

Apart from combining two fields I enjoy working in there is another exploration that’s important to me and that is living from the inside out versus living from the outside in.

My previous attempts at setting up an internet marketing business have been externally focussed. That is, the motivation has been the money I wanted to earn (external outcomes) and the tactics that would get me there. To be fair most of the courses are taught this way and after trying and failing at a number of them I realised that my failure wasn’t due to what the courses were teaching but to a lack of consciousness about what I was doing and why I was doing it.

I’m not alone. Thousands of people have spent thousands of dollars chasing the internet marketing dream but relatively few have succeeded. The money and the ease with which it can be generated attracts us but it is often an habitual reaction to the idea that money will make us happy. Even if that were true, we don’t stop and consider whether or not the promises of the get rich dream is what we want anyway. So we find ourselves chasing a dream that’s not really ours and then feel upset when we don’t succeed.  The consequence of  focussing exclusively on external goals without matching them to our internal values makes it impossible to keep going when the going gets though. So we abandon whatever we’ve been trying and move on to the next shiney, new toy.

Having tired of that I moved back to coaching last year but unwittingly kept loosing the plot when I made the same mistake, albeit in a different arena. Setting exclusively external goals was a road that led to low energy and confusion. But it also led to great learning.

So combining, the lessons of the two I can say that a lack of external structure leaves me directionless, listless and feeling unfulfilled while “enforced” structure, by way of a plan I’ve concocted (or bought) for it’s own sake, leaves me bored , unable to keep my commitments to myself and feeling unfulfilled.

So, I am approaching my year of mentoring differently.

Part of the deal for acceptance on the programme was to agree to create measurable, specific goals. Starting out they will be about building a subscribers list of people who are interested in exploring and consciously creating their lives and who enjoy reading and commenting here.

The mentoring will create a framework within which I can explore and challenge those beliefs/stories I tell myself that hold me back. The numbers will give me something more concrete to measure and to challenge myself with.

Even before the programme started I confronted the discipline of writing (or lack thereof) and committed myself to my 15 minutes a day goal.  And, I noticed my tendency of constantly waiting for something else to happen before I begin and have made choices to start anyway.

I see this year as an opportunity to learn from a master in his field, to take a curious peep into a world I know little of, to hang out with interesting and inspiring people to challenge myself and to keep stepping outside my comfort zone. Internet marketing then becomes the structure within which I can experiment and dance with life. I am excited about what I will create.

I have found the idea to be helpful at times. I’ve noticed that whenever I have a strong emotional reaction to what someone else says or does and I look at my own thoughts/ behaviour I can usually find examples of where I have behaved in a similar way. Not a particularly pleasant realisation. But one that helps me be less judgemental and to learn to take responsibility for my own experience rather than blaming others.

But what’s less talked about is the positive side of the equation. If we are projecting the things we don’t like about ourselves then maybe we are projecting the things we do like too and are equally unaware of them. This got me thinking and I invented a game I called ‘Mrs Projection Head’ (pun intended). To play you need to be willing to suspend judgement and assume that projection, as I’ve described it, is what is actually happening when we look at others.

Then, have a trawl through your mind and think about what it is you like/admire in others. Take a “walk” through your day and think about your friends, family, and people at work. You don’t even have to know them personally. Consider also celebrities, historical figures and characters in books. Which of all the hundreds of thoughts/stories you tell yourself about what they are like would you most like to be true of you? Which would you choose to focus on and strengthen? Which would you choose to develop? Who would you BE in other words?

Can you find examples of these qualities in your life already? By looking for them you will help to reinforce them in yourself. Even if you can’t see them chances are those around you can. Ask those closest to you if they can you give you examples.

Take that picture of all that is best in others with you as you go about your day today, knowing that in order for you to see that particular picture you must have those qualities within you first.

You are already that which you admire in others. You just haven’t seen it yet!

Earlier this morning I imagined myself going from cafe to cafe, writing copiously. I’d moved the goal posts in my head and not noticed. So, when I found myself struggling to write more my energy began to drop.

Last Thursday, I’d deliberately set a goal (just 15 minutes writing) that I felt I could manage easily. But I’m used to struggle. I’m used to hard, to goals being hard won. I’ve made a habit of it.

But I caught myself in time. I kept my commitment to 15 minutes writing so, hoorah, hoorah! Today my writing was a resounding success!

A phone call
Some emails
A load of washing —

I finally sit in the chair,
Pen poised on paper
And I hesitate.

I am scared.

Scared of putting myself “out there”
Scared of what you might think of me
Because the writing may be

Too long
Too short
Too revealing

Or

J u s t   P l a i n   D u l l.

But, what other choice is there?

Ignore the impulse.
Ignore the call.

Stay forever comfortable
While life’s potential continues to beckon
And I look the other way.

— Not today

Today I will be done with mediocre.
Today I will write fearlessly.

See!
Look!

I Choose

. . .  sitting in the chair
Pen moving

— I write.

Now those of you who have been around a while will remember that on my return from Phoenix, I intended to publish a blog post every day. I didn’t do so for long and so was wondering whether or not Chris’s approach might be a useful one for me to follow. But there’s something about the word ‘discipline’ that leaves me cold.

Whenever I read something that suggests I practice discipline, I find myself silently screaming “No, no. Don’t make me do it. I want to do it my way”. No wonder I don’t like it. The story I tell about discipline is that it is a form of coercion. Something demanded from the outside that necessitates doing it someone else’s way.

It’s a story I suspect, that’s a hangover from school days when the teachers seemed all powerful and from childhood in general when parents or other adults were in control. Discipline conjures up having to tidy my room, do my piano practice or something connected with the PE instructor on the parade ground. And I am obviously not alone. If you look in Google at the most common searches people carry out, that contain the word “discipline”, you will find that of the 200 most popular, way over half (I stopped counting at 100) relate to children, kids, toddlers, teachers, parents, classrooms, schools etc. No wonder the idea has such negative connotations.

But I am no longer a child and am free to choose a new view. I can make it an internal choice now rather than an external command.

However, writing a blog post everyday wasn’t a goal that was connected to something I really wanted. It was a goal I made for it’s own sake. But I DO want to get better at writing. I want to discover more of what I have to say. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts and make adjustments to how I approach things. I hope I will inspire others to think about things differently too and to experiment with other ways of being and doing things.

So rather than try to be disciplined and only post when I have something to say, or set a schedule and never miss a post, or make a post everyday, I would rather put my energy into practising the craft and spend at least 15  minutes a day writing something – anything. Doesn’t matter. Just get my pen on paper. That’s a discipline that’s worth learning for me.

As Steve Chandler would say – “Discipline is remembering what you want”.

“People say that what we are all seeking is a meaningful life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking.
I think what we are really seeking is an experience of being alive”.
- Joseph Campbell

An I am reminded of another of my favourite quotes:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go do that.
Because, what the world needs is more people who have come alive.”
- Harold Thurman

My mind drifts off as I gaze out the window and I ask myself “what makes me come alive?”

I answer:

The Simple Wonder of it All . . .

I notice yellow bricks on tall buildings and red bricks on tall chimneys and glass in windows so we can see out and I marvel at how we learned to create that. From caves to tall buildings that don’t fall over and have sloping roofs made from different materials from the walls and ornamentation for no other purpose than to make them look fine.

And then there are the cars – black ones, white ones, green, sliver ones and a red and yellow double decker bus where people can sit on two different levels, one above the other. Engines and gears and wheels and metal and rubber. And I marvel at how we learned to do that. From walking slowly on 2 feet to speeding around in metal miracles.

And then I notice the sea crashing onto the beach. The timelessness of it. The power. The constancy. The beauty. And my mind spins off to the miracle of being alive right now, right here, in a universe of wonderous galaxies and gazillions of stars.

Bloody hell. I’m gob-smacked!

What makes me come alive?

Simply noticing this. Just this!

Wow! Wow! A billion, trilllion times wow!

so . . . (cough, cough) . . . what makes YOU come alive?

Fell free to post a comment and let us know . . .

]]> http://www.lifemoves.co.uk/simple-wonder/feed/ 1 http://www.lifemoves.co.uk/simple-wonder/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LifeMoves/~3/Cw6ggVFJqOE/ http://www.lifemoves.co.uk/productive-work/#comments Tue, 23 Feb 2010 09:53:43 +0000 gillian http://www.lifemoves.co.uk/?p=567 Many of you will have heard of the Pareto Principle or 80/20 rule which basically says that approximately 80% of the effects of many events, come from 20% of the causes of those events. The original idea came from looking at Italy’s income and wealth where Pareto noticed that 80% of the wealth was owned by 20% of the people but it has been observed in many other situations since. For example, 20% of the world’s population control 82.7% of global income, we dress in 20% of our favourite clothes about 80% of the time, and we spend 80% of the time with just 20% of our friends and acquaintances, etc.

I use a similar principle when I’m trying to get things done but rather than 80/20 it’s 45/15. It’s simple. I work/take action for 45 minutes and then take 15 minutes “off”.

I started doing this when I was at college and came across some research (the source of which I’ve long forgotten) that said that the maximum time we are able to work at top efficiency, is 45 minutes. I experimented with this when I was writing essays or revising for exams and discovered that I could study for longer overall and accomplish more when I applied this rule.

Nowadays, I apply the idea in many of areas of my life, especially if there’s something I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to do. But I find it particularly invaluable for when I’m working on the computer. When I’m at home, I will set an alarm for 45 minutes and then start working. When the alarm goes off I’ll get up from the desk and do something completely different such as putting on a load of washing, changing a bed or posting a letter. Then it’s back to the computer and another 45 minutes of work. The great thing about this approach is that I not only work more effectively but I’m also able to get through a load of chores without noticing I’m doing them.

If I’m working away from home I still set the alarm and use the 15 minute breaks to get a drink, walk around the office or chat with a colleague.

Strangely, I find the biggest challenge with the 45/15 approach is being disciplined enough to stop when the alarm goes off. It’s very tempting when things are going well, to keep working. However, experience has shown that working on past 45 minutes brings diminishing returns so I’ve developed the habit of standing up immediately the alarm goes off. Then it’s easier to move away and do something different. If it’s absolutely essential to finish off something I’m doing I’ll do it standing up!

If you spend a lot of time at the computer this has the added benefits of resting your eyes and moving your body so you’re putting less strain on your spine and muscles.

Also, you’ll find you come up with some great ideas in your 15 minutes “breaks” and you may even find solutions to problems you’ve been stuck on and unable to think your way out of.

I’d love to hear your experiences with the 45/15 rule so please give it a go and then leave a comment on the blog.

So when Ed Dale,  internet marketer extraordinaire, came onto my radar, offering a mentoring programme, I decided to ignore the “nay sayer” voices in my head telling me:

• you’ve tried that so many times before and it never works
• he won’t want to work with you
• you won’t get in anyway
• you’ll get bored with the work like always and find an excuse to move onto something else
• blah, blah, blah

and look for all the reasons to say “yes”.

The more I thought about it the more attractive the idea became. A full 12 months when I would know what I was up to, where I would be supported to stay on track, not to mention the expertise of someone on the cutting edge of a field that, no matter how many times I walk away from it, I seem to be drawn back. Maybe this is an opportunity to combine where I’ve been (internet marketing) with where I want to go (coaching).

Interestingly, at the beginning of the Coaching School when Steve suggested I might like to combine the two I was adamant that I would not. My idea of what that would look like was not something that appealed to me at all and I was feeling very jaded with the whole IM scene.

Fast forward 8 months and, with the benefit of all the insights and experience gained during that time I now see the idea very differently. So, I paid my money and applied for the mentoring. I should know if I’ve been accepted onto the programme (it’s very heavily oversubscribed) in a couple of days but I’ve already made a start on a project. I’ll be posting more specifics (web stats and actions, e.g.) on my other blog so as not to bore those Life Moves subscribers who aren’t interested in such things!