My father died recently.  November 27, 2016.  Just shy of his 81st birthday. December 13th.

A couple of years ago he had heart surgery and I was worried we were going to lose him then.  He made it through. He actually went back into hospital on the anniversary of his heart surgery, but that’s another story for another time.

The reason for posting this is because I’m amazed at the kindness of people when things are not going well.

My father was taken off life support on November 27th.  We weren’t sure if it was going to take minutes, hours or days.  My mother and sisters sent me and my kids home as we weren’t sure.. but I said “I don’t think he’ll die while I’m here.”  The same thing happened when my grandmother died (my father’s mother).  I left the house and went for a drive and she died shortly thereafter.

My kids and I left the hospital and drove to Oakville to drop Josh at his apartment.  During the drive, I checked my phone and my sister’s message said “Call Me”.  I already knew.  She was crying.  He passed a short time after we had left.  Breathing just slowed and stopped.  Peaceful. At least as much as it could be.

We got to Josh’s apartment and I went to the variety store for something.  A lottery ticket. I know, makes no sense but just …wanted some time alone I guess…. it’s a RABBA store on the bottom floor of his apartment on Marlbourough in Oakville.  The store faces Trafalgar Road.

I paid for my purchase and the jovial fellow at the counter asked how my night had been.  I said, still numb, “my father died less than an hour ago”.

This lovely man turned around and grabbed me a pack of Kleenex.  He didn’t know me. Never had ever met.  Gave me the Kleenex and gave his condolences. It was almost like a commercial.  A nice young man with a beard and a wedding ring.  Wearing a cap.  Rabba should give him a raise.

Monday and Tuesday were filled with arrangements.  The kind you never want to have to make.  Decisions that hurt your heart.  The knowing that you’re finalizing things.  The reality that you’re not ever going to see your father again. MY father again.  Watching my mother’s heart break over and over again.

Wednesday I took my dog to the dog park.  I stopped at the Tim Horton’s on Ottawa and Strasburg on the way home to get a coffee.  My dog tipped my purse in the back seat and it had dumped and by the time I got up to pay I couldn’t find anything.

The lovely woman at the window recognized my anguish, my exasperation, my disorientation… I think… I’m not sure what.. and just said “It’s okay.  Just come back and pay me tomorrow”.

I couldn’t go back the next day as it was the day of visitations.  Or the next as it was the funeral of my dear, sweet, wonderful father.

I finally went to that Tim Horton’s today and the same sweet woman was working the drive thru and when I paid for my coffee I said that I owed her for two since she had spotted me for the other .  I didn’t want to hold up the line so I told her quickly that my father had died, I was confused and she gave her condolences and said “no problem”.  She was just so sweet.

Long story, but I feel like my father deserved a few more years.  So this is very hard.  But some kindness from strangers made it a little easier.

Katy Warren. One of the most talented, coolest people I know

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Coffee. And Water .. not mixed together, just had two bevvies on the go
2. Last phone call: Jeezus. I hardly ever talk on the phone anymore.  *checks phone*  Jodi Crooks. She rocks. Just sayin’.
3. last text message: Hmmm BBM or text?  well last text was  “Woot! LOL”.. last BBM says “and I set him straight re: the dead guy”.. Don’t ask
4. last song you listened to:  at this moment.. “Devil Inside” INXS on the radio..
5. last time you cried: a few days ago.  Again. Don’t ask.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice: yes.  Three times actually.  Did not work out any of the times.  Should have learned the first time.
7. been cheated on: yes. Don’t ask
8. kissed someone & regretted it: No. Kissing is fun. Regret is not.
9. lost someone special: Yes. Recently.  I’ve lost people physically through death in the past year. I’ve also lost people through being a bad friend and doing or saying things that led to a parting of the ways.  #regret
10. been depressed: Yes. I have issues.
11. been drunk and threw up: Not since I was a teen. Drunk since, yes. Threw up.. no. I am not an amateur.

Josh Warren – another uber cool human that I happened to give birth to.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Red
13. Black
14. White.  I’m pretty basic.

THIS YEAR, HAVE YOU: (2012)

15. Made a new friend: Yes. Many. I am thankful.
16. Fallen out of love:  No.  But in 2011, yes. Again, don’t ask.
17. Laughed until you cried : Often. Regularly. I thank my BFF Jodi for that.
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes. I think that every time I meet someone new they change me in some respect.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Definitely.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.
21. Done anything you regretted: Yes. Truly.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: A Facebook question… most I know in real life.  I’d say 75%
23. How many kids do you want to have: When I was in high school I wanted a LOT of kids.. like, 6. All Brady Bunchy and shit.  I ended up having 2.  I’m way too old to have anymore.  If I end up with someone with kids, I’m cool with that.  Love kids. Probably because I’m horribly immature.
24. Do you have any pets:  Yes.  Mocha Latte Warren.. aka Mocha the Wonderdog. She’s adorable. Even Cat People love her. She is kind of jerk when she meets new people, but is a giant whore once she knows you’re cool.  Kinda like her mom. Oh wait.. that didn’t sound good. I meant loving and affectionate.
25. Do you want to change your name: Not really. Changed my name once, from Kubilius to Warren.  Once I was divorced, I considered it. As adult, I am known as Beth Warren.  So I won’t change it. But if I do, I’ll go with Lady Gaga for the royalties.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Had a fantastic dinner at Marisol with MTG and Katy Warren.  Delish!
27. What time did you wake up today: 7am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night:  Sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Winning the lottery.
30. Last time you saw one of your parents:  a couple of weeks ago.  I should visit more often.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Wow. Hard question.  Kinda wish I had a time machine. I’d change some things. Act differently. But everything happens for a reason.
32. What are you listening to right now?: DAVE FM
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: This is a stupid question. Of course I have.
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: These questions.  why the heck do I do these things…?
35. Most visited webpage: http://www.google.com. I’d say porn pages but my mom might read this. (that’s a joke, people…)
36. Whats your real name: Elizabeth Ann Margaret Kubilius Warren.  If you call me Liz, I definitely won’t answer. If you call and ask for Elizabeth, I know you don’t know me and I’ll say she’s not home.
37. Nicknames: Beth, I guess.  The Wolf.  Bethany.
38. Relationship Status: In one.
39. Zodiac sign: Aries
40. Male or female?: I thought the Elizabeth thing would have given that away.  Female.
41. Elementary: Glen Echo
42. Middle School: Glen Brae
43. High school/College: Glendale.  then Mohawk College and Conestoga College
44. Hair color: at the moment or naturally?  This is obviously a trick question. I am going with brown.
45. Long or short: Long
46. Height: 5’3″ but I look taller due to my large head.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?  mebbe
48: What do you like about yourself? I am funny.  I am reasonably intelligent. I’m generally kind.  For the most part I’m a pretty decent human being.
49. Piercings: 6.  None of them with jewellery in them.
50. Tattoos: three – an Aries symbol on my back.. a dragon on my left hip and “Laugh” on my left wrist – matching tattoo with BFF Jodi.
51. Righty or lefty  : very very righty

FIRSTS :

52. First injury: fell off the edge of the tub when I was 3 and cracked my head open. The first of my head injuries.
53. First best friend: Julie Deumo.  Stevie Gillie.
54. First Kiss: Stevie Gillie age 5ish… First “REAL” kiss.. hmmm Chris Stewart, about age 13… in his garage playing spin the bottle.
55. First sport you joined: figure skating. I suck at skating now.
56. First vacation: we used to go “to the Quebec side” as a family when I was a kid.  Cottage on the Ottawa river with my family, the cousins, aunts, uncles and a a whole slew of people.  Caught frogs, swam, bonfires, volleyball, hanging at the beach.. barbeques. Super fun memories.
57. First Alcoholic beverage : oy vey.  Uhhhhh probably beer.  I didn’t like it then.
58. First time getting arrested: LOL.  You’d think, eh? But no, never.

RIGHT NOW

59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: Coffee, water.  See Above.
61. I’m about to: Answer some more of these damned questions.  They’re pretty ridiculous, but I’ve already committed myself to this…
62. Listening to: the Darryl Law show on Dave FM

YOUR FUTURE :

63. Dreams?:well, winning the lottery would be awesome, but if that isn’t going to happen then I’ll go for people paying me buckets of money to write things.
64. Want kids?: Got kids. Two of them. They are fantastic.  And extremely talented. Best thing I’ve ever done.  So, no more kids for me .. (hey wasn’t this asked already..?)  But if I end up with someone who already has kids, that’s cool.
65. Get Married?:I would like to.  We’ll see.
66. Career?:See #63.  Something fun.  That I absolutely love.

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes: I like having both.
68. Hugs or kisses: Both. I’m greedy.
69. Shorter or taller: shorter or taller than what?
70. Older or Younger: I’d like to be younger, but I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: hmmmm arms.
73. Sensitive or loud: somewhere in the middle.  I, on the other hand, am loud.
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship, thanks.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Me or guys?  Troublemaker. It’s the only way to go
76. Looks or Personality: Personality, but good looks don’t hurt.  Intelligence is pretty key, too.

HAVE YOU EVER :

77. Drank hard liquor:  Duh.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes
80. Broken someone’s heart: I believe so.
81. Had your own heart broken: Yes.
82. Been arrested: Jeezus, what’s with the arrested question? I answered that already! NO.  Obviously you think you can trick me with this one.  But no, clean police check.
83. Turned someone down: Yes
84. Cried when someone died: Of course! What kind of monster do you think I am…?
85. Fallen for a friend?: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: Yes, someone has to.
87. Miracles: Yup
88. Love at first sight: Yes
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: Damn straight
91. Aliens: Yes
92. Angels: Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Are you faithful?: Yes
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Sorta. Long time ago.
95. Did you sing today?: No
96. Ever hurt someone?: Yes, I believe everyone has .. just depends on how you deal with it and whether or not it was intentional.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go back? Hmmm… interesting. I’m not sure.  Everything happens for a reason, so if I went back in time, maybe things would be completely different… which could be good or bad. Hmmm. maybe just back far enough that I purchased a lot of really valuable stock…
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?  I can’t think of a particularly uber fun day…. there were lots of fun ones!
99. How do you feel this very second?: somewhat introspective. Must be the questions.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Sure. May as well since I did the whole stupid thing.

Life:  going all right.  You will be updated soon.
Love: “in a relationship”
Pants: wearing some.

Usually when I write it’s because I have something funny to say.. or some moving story I wish to share. Or I had a bad haircut.. or what have you.  I’m not sure where this one fits in, but I will say I have not had a haircut in a long time.

The brunt of it is: I was a very bad friend.

I recently “lost” two people from my life.  Both of whom I considered dear friends.  However, through my own doing, we aren’t friends anymore.

In both cases, I was very close to each of these people.  Then, life got in the way and I neglected both friendships.  In both cases, took the friendship for granted.   Didn’t see either of them, or talk to them or make attempts at being a good friend to either despite their reaching out to me.

Then, to make matters worse.. I became not just a neglectful friend, but a bad friend.

Not to go into specifics or name names .. but in both cases, I behaved very badly.  Things happened that I misinterpreted.  I was confrontational.  I made accusations.  I made assumptions and suppositions.  I was wrong.

Regardless of what I was feeling at the time, the situation and anything else that was going on, I had no right to treat anyone the way I did.  Especially people I considered friends.  I was awful.  Things will never be the same.

Both relationships are torn, strained at best.  One friend no longer talks to me.  I’m not “unfriended”,  but I am.  I’ve apologized.  That’s all I can do.  I believe the damage to be irreparable.  But it’s my own fault.  I bear the blame.

The other friend and I have talked.. chatted…. exchanged messages.  We’ve said we’ll still be friends.  Seems sincere enough. But it’s still not quite the same.

Again, my fault.

Every one of us has people with whom we have a falling out, drift apart from.. or what have you. One day you wake up and realize you’re no longer friends.  But in these 2 cases I can’t blame moving away or finding different interests or drifting apart.  Just my own damn fault for being insecure.

I guess the point of this is.. life goes on. Moves forward. Continues.  And it will.  There will be new friends.

But they won’t replace the space in my heart the old ones occupied.

But on the bright side, it’s made me look at the other relationships in my life and cherish them more.  Appreciate my friends.  Treasure them.  Be less selfish. And not take anything or anyone for granted.

I guess in the end it’s taught me how to be a good friend.  Or at least not a terrible one.  I hope.

Life: moving along

Love: will be addressed in future posts

Pants: oh @#$@#$ let’s not even go there. This will also be addressed in the future. I’m firmly believing the less I write the more weight I gain. ugh.

I have no excuse… I’m online constantly.. so you think I’d get to writing.. but…. I think perhaps I may be spending too much time on Facebook, perhaps..

I have this friend.. I shall call him Glenn (as that is his name…)  and he and I like to banter.. so I thought I’d share one of our offtrack Facebook rants (that likely have people removing us from their feeds.. LOL)

Beth Warren

The Cars – Just What I Needed

www.youtube.com

The Cars – Just What I Needed (1978) Writer: Ric Ocasek Producer: Roy Thomas Baker Bass and Lead vocal: Benjamin Orr Guitar: Elliot Easton Drums: David Robinson

Glenn Pelletier And the kids wonder why Mariana’s Trench and Down With Webster doesn’t do it for me.

July 29 at 11:39am · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Yeah, word on the street is that this is really keeping the kids up at night..

July 29 at 11:48am · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Oh….do I allow me then….to be more specific. “the kids”…….as in MY kids. get it? the only thing keeping the kids you refer to….up at night….is msn and trying to find the latest info. on the party at Brittany’s house when her parents were out-of-town.

July 29 at 11:56am · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Tell you what…..if there any of “the kids” checking in with this conversation between a 49-year-old man and his 46-year-old friend, I invite you to view the Cars’ video above…..and then try to wonder why Mariana’s Trench and Down With Webster don’t do it for me.

July 29 at 11:58am · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren I shall post your request on all my 15 yo FB friends’ pages.. LOL

Hey, there’s no doubt in my mind why they don’t “do it for you”….

July 29 at 12:02pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Okay…..gotta go. Off to a class titled “Demonstrating Humility While Posting On Facebook.”

July 29 at 12:04pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Are you teaching or attending?

July 29 at 12:07pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Attending.

July 29 at 12:54pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier That was my point, doe head.

July 29 at 12:54pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren You and the name calling, CF…..
You are missing my obviously sarcastic tone…. jeezus

July 29 at 12:56pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier ‎”You can call me anything……just don’t call me Doe Head!”

July 29 at 1:01pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Doe head suggests something from the deer family.. whereas DOUGH head would imply that my head had a delicious squishy centre..
Neither of which I find particularly insulting or offensive. Or dirty. Try harder. LOL

July 29 at 1:26pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews OK – for the record. I have always loved the Cars! And as for you two – Glenn … love you on 570 but how does Beth have so many more fb friends than you? Beth – are you hitting on Glenn? Sounds more like a 15 yr old and an 11 yr old going at it! Carry on.

July 29 at 1:57pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren A 15 yo and an 11 yo “going at it” would be most inappropriate. Age of consent in this province is 14.

July 29 at 2:03pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews Good point.

July 29 at 2:11pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Hey John…Beth has so many more fb friends than me, because I have a rule. The moment you say something like “I like eggs” on your newsfeed……yer fucking gone! Plus I tend to blow out the “friends” I don’t actually know, or have never spoken with.

July 29 at 2:14pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Actually, I keep vowing to do it….but between you and me, John, I don’t have the balls. And damn it, I don’t mind telling you…..I like eggs.

July 29 at 2:23pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren I have a lot of FB friends because I’ve been doing this a helluva lot longer than Pelch has… for one. That, and I bribe them with candy.

Egss are delicious, it’s true.

July 29 at 4:01pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Oh, Beth, you missed my point. You know damn well I am well-versed in the necessary social networking skills. I have just chosen not to go all Ashton Kutcher on this thing. I mean really….what’s the point? (see: I like eggs.)

July 29 at 4:47pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Quite the contrary, I grasped your point immediately.. was merely kidding around. And I still like eggs.

July 29 at 4:57pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Oh really? Sounded to me like you were actually trying to say that if I had been on Facebook as long as you, I would have as many fb “friends.” You think the size of my “friends” list is based on my duration on Facebook? So really, I think you DID miss the point that my having fewer friends was about me deliberately choosing to start picking off the people I don’t actually know (especially if they post ‘I like eggs” on their newsfeed.

July 29 at 5:05pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Now buy me a Virgin. Caesar.

July 29 at 5:07pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Perhaps I just filter my friends differently, but I don’t believe any of my friends have ever posted of their love of any type of dairy product. Now, liquor on the other hand…

July 29 at 5:07pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier I sometimes like to sign off posts with the name ‘Caesar’.

July 29 at 5:07pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Eggs are not dairy…but I will say no more. I have beaten you up already.

July 29 at 5:09pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Fuck it I can’t help myself. Where the fuck are the 2 per cent eggs? There’s only homo here!

July 29 at 5:11pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Ok, I’ll give you the “eggs are not dairy”…. apparently the food pyramid people moved them into the meat/protein section in 2005. I missed the memo.

Beaten up? LOL. Bring it, Pelch.

July 29 at 5:13pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier I need to get out. I have turned into a divorced man with no money, sitting in his shitty apartment, spending hours ranting on Facebook. Actually, forget it…..I just realized, I was thinking of someone else.

July 29 at 5:13pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier No, Darwin included them in the protein section in the mid-nineteenth century.

July 29 at 5:15pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Well, at least Facebook is keeping you off the streets and out of the seedy bars…..

July 29 at 5:15pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Fuck. you do need to get out. Sitting around arguing online about Canada’s food guide. Quick! In which food group is quinoa??!

July 29 at 5:17pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier ah………………………definitely not desert!

July 29 at 5:17pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier I mean dessert.

July 29 at 5:18pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Hell, maybe desert too, depending on whether it actually needs water to survive.

July 29 at 5:18pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren How on earth did this go from appreciation of the Cars music to dessert?

July 29 at 5:19pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Ignore post above. The Sahara is not a food group.

July 29 at 5:19pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Beth, I have a feeling that bantering wtih you, will delay any possible dementia in me. I want to thank you for that.

July 29 at 5:20pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren You nearly had me fooled. Had to check the food guide. Nope. Wasn’t there. Although I have sampled some cooking that wasn’t as tasty as sand…

July 29 at 5:20pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren I believe you mean “further dementia”.

July 29 at 5:21pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier So about the fucking quinoa!

July 29 at 5:21pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren And you are welcome.

July 29 at 5:21pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier LOL

July 29 at 5:22pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Quinoa is delicious. Although most think it’s a grain, it’s not truly.. and it’s very high in protein. It’s also a town in Peru and an album by Tangerine Dream.

July 29 at 5:23pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier I am spent…..it was good for me. Was it good for you? How about a smoke?

July 29 at 5:27pm · UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading… ·

Beth Warren Glenn, you realize of course, that anyone who “LIKED” this link originally is now cursing as they are being inundated with notifications of our food groups discussion. However, they likely learned something.. so it’s not a total loss.

July 29 at 5:28pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren LOL. Now I’ll have to think of some other wacky status update or link to inspire more discussion. Or I’ll go back to my tequila thread.

July 29 at 5:29pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier If they have actually followed this entire stream, they are witnessing a classic example of how a chick with brains can wake a guy up. Thanks for that.

July 29 at 5:32pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier So, Virgin Caesar and a smoke?

July 29 at 5:33pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren More than welcome.

July 29 at 5:33pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren I’m more inclined to order a pint and a shot of tequila. Caesars are breakfast food. LOL

July 29 at 5:34pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Or should there have been a comma after Virgin?

July 29 at 5:34pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier And while I am awake, you have kept my from posting on my newsfeed that “Glenn likes cutting his fingernails regularly.”

July 29 at 5:35pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier I want to stay in downtown Kitchener, so, no there is no comma after Virgin.

July 29 at 5:36pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren whoa! you’re KIDDING me, right??!!!! wow.

July 29 at 5:37pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren LMAO!

July 29 at 5:38pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier you mean about the comma-less Virgin or cutting my fingernails regularly?

July 29 at 5:38pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren laughing re: comma-less virgin.. amazed at your nail cutting. You have some pretty exotic hobbies. CALM. DOWN.

July 29 at 5:39pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Also trying to find a non-smoking bingo player. I hear there is ONE in Belleville, but that was only because of doctor’s orders.

July 29 at 5:42pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren what are you going to do with him or her when you find them? keep it as a pet?

July 29 at 5:43pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier No. Find out if being the only non-smoking bingo player in Belleville made him/her feel shunned, ashamed, diminished in any way.

July 29 at 5:46pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier I am also trying to find the only BINGO player in Rosedale – smoking, non-smoking, ashamed, shunned, or otherwise.

July 29 at 5:47pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren I’m going to have to say the thing for bingo players is among the most unusual fetishes I’ve heard.

July 29 at 5:51pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews

OMG – that’s a cool 15yo thing right? I’m 46 just so ya know – and I know you don’t give a rat’s ass.

So I was going to interrupt – give thoughts on eggs and virgins – but nah. Then I considered a exercise in missing the point – but that w…ould have been wasted energy. Loads of other topics to comment on – but why interrupt perfectly good finger nail cutting I ask you? So I started reading the thread to my wife – and I got to the bingo fetish (not suspiciously 34 comments after the “divorced man, shitty apartment” comment) and she says, “Tell them to get a room.” Ha!

Glenn – I bet you hate Christmas now right? Beth – Who needs questions when there are so many answers? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QuinoaSee More

July 29 at 8:21pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews And as the most classic Car(ol) song says:

I’m so glad we had this time together,Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.Seems we just get started and before you Know itComes the time we have to say, “So long”.

July 29 at 8:22pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren

Not to speak for my friend Glenn, but he has two beautiful girls so I’m sure Christmas is still full of joy and wonderment.. but again, not my place to say. Just thought I’d interject since a-it’s my thread and b- I think Pelch is off havi…ng a manicure so may not be able to respond in a timely manner.

re: rat’s ass.. I’m 46 as well.. all good. and I have a 15 yo.. LOL
re: room…. oh my. I have a room thanks.. LOL.. it’s quite pretty..

I still like eggs in all varied forms except fertilized. I’m not a virgin. and I enjoy quinoa.See More

July 29 at 8:33pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren hahaha john.. either you are enjoying the entertainment or totally regretting adding me as a friend at this point.. LOL

July 29 at 8:34pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews This is now the most entertaining page on FB … well this and NPR! (JK) PS I was going to send Glenn a Christmas CD – no joke!

July 29 at 8:35pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren Send him the Nickelback Christmas CD.. he’ll be your friend forever.

July 29 at 8:36pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews OUCH – before they tamed his extra-curricular banter over at 570 he would always talk about his love for good Christmas music – but I don’t recall him saying anything about Nickleback.

July 29 at 8:51pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren LMAO! Nickelback is a long running joke between us.. I’m a troublemaker..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDgs1iroYyY

July 29 at 8:52pm · LikeUnlike ·

Glenn Pelletier Hey John, the following tells you everything you need to know about my thoughts regarding Nickelback. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDgs1iroYyY

July 29 at 9:50pm · LikeUnlike ·

Beth Warren haha I already sent him the link!

July 29 at 9:50pm · LikeUnlike ·

John Matthews Ok – that was funny.

It’s been a while.  I know. ugh. Nearly over three months.

oy vey.

Here’s the thing….

I started a bunch of posts and didn’t finish them because …… well…. some excuse.

A lot has been going on.  Like, LOTS.

Tons. Oodles. Many adventures.

So, you would think I would be writing all this stuff down, now, wouldn’t ya?  Well, apparently not.

One thing I did not do over the last 3 months is watch or read anything Twilight. I know nothing about it other than it's about vampires and girly stuff or something.

But let me brief you on what’s been going down.. then .. I will go back, finish the posts I started, and then all will be right with the world. Good times all around, my friends. Oh yes, we’ll get jiggy with it.

Things that have happened and that I will expound upon.. in no particular order…

• I had a birthday. On that birthday I moved my stuff out of BFF Jodi’s house and into a garage in KW.
• I went to California. It was cool. No, literally. It was April. It was about the same temperature in KW as in Cali.   Also, I saw a lot of relatives in Cali and a portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger made of Skittles. It did not change my life in any way and I had actually completely forgotten about it until this moment.
• My car got crashed.  Not good.
• Got back from California. Moved the next morning into my new place in the K-dub.  Unpacked et al within days.
• Started a new super cool gig.
• Had a party.
• Got a new car.
• went to my high school reunion.
• Proved bench advertising works.
• Didn’t write blogs. (you already knew that)
• Discovered a cure for the common cold. Got drunk to celebrate. Accidentally threw out the answer. Back to the drawing board.
• Then, of course,  some random stuff that I will think of as I start spewing stuff onto the computer screen  ( I know, not the best visual there.. see? out of practice….)

So, my apologies to those of you that have actually checked to see if I’ve written some stuff.. yes, you.. Stacey Thompson-Delorme.. Michelle Walker and of COURSE, Tracy Lennon…  I shall attempt to be more consistent…. as in, the consistency of rice pudding… oh, but I digress.

So yeah, I’ve been sucking.  But I’m making an attempt to make amends.  Please forgive me. (insert tearful weepy face here… preferably of a really cute sad child… that’d make ya well up…)

K. If I’m going to get caught up, I better get moving. Await the avalanche.

Princess Birthday Party a few years ago. Yeah. I rock the tiara..

I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you

Birthday – The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

Holy crap.. what a difference a year makes!

Last year… Still stuck in Barrie, trying to sell my house.. SNOWED on my birthday.. overall not one of the BEST birthdays ever (Read about it here … strictly for comparison’s sake..)

And as much as I was attempting to see the good in everything.. people who love me, yadda yadda.. silver linings.. blah blah blah.. (I jest..) It was still slightly depressing… not gonna lie.

Katy and I hung out and it was nice.. but.. at the time… no gig.. and not much else was going on either.
So.. skip ahead a year.

Today, I spent my birthday moving.. not entirely.. but some.  I moved all my things out of BFF Jodi’s house in St. Catharine’s and to my NEW PLACE in Kitchener! (Conveniently located pretty much across the street from the ex husband/kid’s house.. it’s cool.. we’re friends..) I haven’t quite moved in yet.. not till I get back from my trip.. to freakin’ California!!!

SO. I’m sure you now require explanation.

NEW PLACE!!!

In January, my sister Barb asked if I’d be interested and able to go with her to California in April.. .and it was a sweet deal.. so I said yes. In the meantime.. I’ve been doing some contract work for a company in Kitchener which has led to me spending more time there.. (and finding excuses to hang out… not gonna lie… I love the town. Oh, and my kids. Most days anyway…)

Then.. a few weeks ago.. just was checking out online some places in town.. and found a place right near my ex and the kids.. it all just FIT.

THEN.. the company I was doing work for.. asked me to come on full time!
It’s INSANE, really…

To summarize:

Today is my birthday. I moved my things from St. Catharine’s to Kitchener to my new place until I get back.

Tomorrow.. Barb and I are off to San Francisco where we will visit our aunts, uncles and cousins.. drink wine.. ride electric bikes (Yes, there are SO cool, Lara!)  take a boat tour and do many other exciting adventuresome things..

We fly back late on the 16th… and early the 17th I’ll head back to the K-dub.. because…. All my stuff that has been in storage for months will be delivered and FINALLY I will have my own place again.  Sleeping in my own bed every night is something I totally look forward to.

Then.. Monday, April 19th.. my first official day. I am the Social Media Manager for Waters Denison Internet Group.  I map out social media strategy for various clients based on where relevant conversations are happening on the internet.. then I implement said strategy.

Which means.. I Twitter and Facebook for a living. Seriously. (Okay, that’s simplifying it, but still.. WHO better suited to this gig? Really? Yeah that’s right, me… chick who updates her FB status from her physical/church/jail or wherever I happen to be… (but never the washroom. That’s just gross)

Therefore, on this birthday.. Yeah, I’m now forty fuckin’ six.. but it’s awesome. New digs back in the Kdub.. new gig… which I LOVE.. back with friends, kids, family.. AND I’m going to California to celebrate!!

However.. still no love life. Hence, still something to complain about..

Oh, and since I didn’t have a real chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends…. we’ll do that at the Housewarming party April 24th…

Life: Loving it!
Love: I am loving life… No boys. But… maybe that’s next on my karmic list? Who knows??!
Pants: Okay.. there’s been some slacking.. so maybe Barb and I should take real bikes instead of electric.. LOL

p.s. stay tuned for updates from California..

=======================

I lost one of my best friends today.

Barley the WonderDog is gone.

Barley had to have surgery in November for a weird thing on his ear.. and he hadn’t been completely right ever since.

Barley.. first visit to the vet... Nov 9/99

He stopped eating. And this week, couldn’t walk anymore.  He fell down the stairs.  He stopped wanting to walk very far a few weeks ago.. we just thought he was arthritic. We bought him special food.. it didn’t work.

January 4, 1999 I had to take my cat Spooky to be put down. He was nearly 15 .. very sick.. and it was time.

I’m a pet person. Honestly.. I don’t trust people who do not like animals.

I’ve had fish, cats and dogs.. the son has also had some rodents (not my fave..)

But I digress.

Barley Warren was the best dog ever.

After Spooky died, I wanted another pet.  Honestly.. I don’t trust people who don’t like animals. (I’m repeating myself I know…)  I think everyone should have some kind of pet at one point.

And so I got Barley.

November 5th. 1999. Josh and Katy had a PD day.

I had been looking  in the classifieds for a dog. Specifically.. a border collie. Jamie (the ex husband) loved border collies. I wanted a dog. You get the picture….

The kids and I went to a farm in Listowel.. thinking we were getting a girl dog named Daisy.   But.. we got there and the owner said they had decided to keep her.. but they had a boy dog available…

The dog jumped on Katy.  They fell immediately in love.

His name was Bill. He cost $35. Bill is not a good dog name.. in my opinion.. so I named him Barley.

He stunk. A lot.  It was a pig farm.

So we paid for “Bill” and left the farm. And drove straight to PetSmart for some grooming.

On the way, little Joshie in his car seat kept feeding our new addition… The dog had never been in a car before. so we brought some treats.. and Josh gave him MANY.. so many that the dog puked and crapped all over the van.

Once we got to PetSmart, the dog escaped us and crawled under the van.. apparently he knew what was coming…

We finally got him out from under the van and into the store to be bathed and groomed.. we didn’t want to take him home stinky. After all,  I hadn’t actually TOLD the husband (at the time) that I was getting a dog that day……..

Went home.. cleaned the van.. and went back to get our new, good smelling puppy.. and get him a collar, leash and nametag.. and we took him home.

The husband was not thrilled.. but that quickly changed. He quickly grew to love Barley.. as we all did.

But… Katy was Barley’s girl. She says she was actually HIS pet. And he was her “baby boy”.

Barley.. being the border collie that he was.. liked to herd things.. Specifically, children.  Many times kids would ride by on bikes and he’d freak because they wouldn’t obey him.. Then there were the times that the kids would go tobogganing down the big hill behind our house and Barley would alternate between grabbing their snowsuits with his teeth and throwing himself in front of the toboggan. It was clearly for their own safety.

He had a very distinct personality.  When you’d get up in the morning he’d great you with a “ROWR-rowr-ROWR”.. It’s tough to type it phonetically…. but I think you get where I’m going here. The “talking” could mean anything from “feed me” to “I need to go out” .. to “hey, how was your day?”

Barley was one of those dogs who’d push his head under your hand to pet him.. He was a fairly large dog.. (he was about three quarters Border collie and one part collie so was a bit stockier..)  An imposing looking dog.. walking him, people would often stop to comment about how pretty he was. But he was a very gentle dog. A big baby. His bark was far worse…

I always called him a “pig in a dog suit”.. he’d eat anything and everything.. except vegetables. He rarely got “people food” but I can recall one time letting him eat the remains of one of the kids dinners.. and he did.. and spit out the broccoli.

You couldn’t leave ANYTHING out on the counter or he’d eat it.  At one point I had to put a large pot on the top of the garbage can in the kitchen.  Barley had figured out that if he stepped on the pedal,  the lid would open and FOOD GALORE! (Most of which may have been stuff he shouldn’t have eaten in the first place…and led to some cleaning up. But you don’t want to hear that…)

Barley hated baths ever since he was first bathed at PetSmart.  He’d lay down if you pretended if you were going to pick him up (he was big and heavy and most couldn’t but we’d pretend at his expense..)

He would get paranoid that you’d leave him alone.. he loved the car. (Oddly enough).. If he saw people packing, at the first opportunity, he’d jump in the car.. and whilst on the trip would NOT get out to pee.. fearing he’d get left behind.. or maybe he was just comfy.

One time not that long ago, Katy and I took the dogs for a walk and Barley picked up an extremely large stick..

He’d walk with it.. it would get heavy… Katy would tell him to put it down.. he would.. for a milli second. But HE HAD TO HAVE THE STICK.

I’m sure it didn’t help that Katy and I were laughing our asses off…

Barley was also very protective.. you’d have to be careful play fighting or tickling as he would get upset and try to protect the smaller of the two participants.. he actually bit one of Katy’s former boyfriends (not hard…)

He was also an extremely good judge of character. If he didn’t “like” one of the kids’ friends, he wouldn’t be mean, he just wouldn’t let them pet him.. He knew.  Barley was not very fond of several of Katy’s boyfriends. And he was entirely correct in his opinion….

I’ll miss waking up with Barley on the bed. Or beside the bed (even though I’m slightly allergic and wake up puffy….)

I’ll miss your “talking”.. I miss your nudging when you need to be petted.  I miss how excited you’d get when I’d put on my “stripey pants”.. which meant we were going for a walk. I miss you at the door when we come in the house.  I miss how you’d sometimes lick my face in the mornings.. (and I HATE having my face licked)..  I miss everything about you.

We finally took him to see the vet.. he got really bad quickly the last week. We were prepared. We were doing the “right thing”.  I’m not sure that I’ve ever cried so much. And I’m still crying now.  He knew it was time. He was sicker than we thought. It took longer than we thought as a result.

But he knew. He was okay with it. We petted him..kissed him… cried and told him how much we loved him.

He was a good boy.

Barley was everyone’s favourite dog.  Not just mine (no offense to Mocha) .. But my family’s.  He was gentle, loyal, loving and a big baby.

And much loved.  Even Mocha loved him. When we came home, she was confused and looked everywhere for him. Katy accidentally jingled his collar.. Mocha raced to find him.. saw the collar.. sniffed it.. uttered a huge sigh and lay down. She knew.

Barley.. I missed you before you left.  You are most assuredly in heaven.

1 : the quality or state of being addicted
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

I’m pretty certain that it’s only a matter of time before I’m on Intervention.

I’ve struggled for years with my addiction. It’s been a shameful burden.

I’ve had to hide it from loved ones and friends.  Ashamed to admit it to others.. it’s embarrassing. Pathetic.  And all consuming…. my addiction to……. online games.

Let me tell you how it all started….

With Neopets.

About ten years ago, the kids started playing Neopets.. and as kind of a joke, set up an account for me.  At first, I didn’t care.. just a kid’s game.. but I started doing it.. for the kids. That way I could send them stuff.. the books.. the food.. you know.. I was HELPING.

But.. Neopets is a slippery slope I found.. suddenly.. I was spending more and more time in Neopia.. but my time on the games .. some you could only do them once a day. I NEEDED THE WHEEL OF EXCITEMENT!!! I wanted to go to the Ice Caves as many times as possible.. visit the Snowager.. spin the Wheel of Mediocrity.. play the Tombola…So I got another account. But it wasn’t enough.. I needed more,, and more.. .. and eventually.. I worked my way up to ten accounts.. starting looking up “cheats” and tips all over the internet.

I’d spend hours buying pets, training them, battling them.. searching out various treasures.. buying things… setting up shops.. They LOOK innocent enough.. little various multi coloured virtual creatures… but.. no. They engage you with their perky good looks and smiley faces and their entertaining games and prizes.. and then… you’re HOOKED.

Then I sunk even lower.. I started turning friends onto Neopets.. and they, too… got addicted.  I still feel so dirty….

But I eventually got over it. I moved on.. started real friendships… not just my Neopian friends..Had a real life.. REAL friends..

However.. something’s happened recently that’s threatened my time on the wagon.

Zoo World.

It started innocently enough.  One day, BFF Jodi mentioned that she was playing Zoo World and I should try it.. because it was “FUN”.

Well.. I like fun. Fun is GOOD.

Zoo World. The bane of my existence...

So I accepted the application.

However, I suddenly realized today that it’s become a problem.

There was a post on my wall that said

Beth just reached Achievement Level 18 in Zoo!

Beth is moving up in Zoo and wants to celebrate with you! Beth is sharing a Zoo Bonus with friends!

Margaret Jane Awrey

Do you have a job yet????

4 hours ago ·

Beth Warren

Yes, I’m the owner of a fine zoo.. LOL

4 hours ago ·

It’s official. I’m addicted.  I’m hooked. (oh, and by the way. yes. I have a gig. I’m self employed. I have the best boss ever.. LOL. She takes me out for drinks often…)

Suddenly I’m obsessed with checking the stream for friends who have lost capuchin monkeys and fennec foxes from their zoos.. buying kiosks and zoo managers.. making my zoo bigger and better and more profitable..  I am searching other people’s streams for their baby marmots who need food so that I can obtain growth formula and such.

It’s pathetic.

I once mocked all those who played Farmville, and Mafia Wars and the like. Now….. I’m one of them.

Making new friends on Facebook so that I can creep their profiles looking for things to make my Zoo bigger and better.

Real conversation between me and BFF Jodi:

“Okay, I just found a beluga whale.. and go get it.. NOW!”

“I got it! I just found a Stingray!”

“Oh! I’m going to get it!!!”

“Jodi! I just received a baby Anteater from the Wildlife Care Network. He is separated from his family and is lost. The baby Anteater is scared and needs someone to adopt him!!”

I’m going into my Facebook account to delete posts about Zoo World so friends won’t mock me (I mean, any more than they do already…) HIDING my addiction and how much I play the game.. it’s one of the first signs.. hiding it..   because when I post comes up about how a baby wombat in my zoo needs food, I get comments like “DIE BABY WOMBAT DIE!” and “How much longer are you going to subject us to this sort of thing?”….

See? Not normal.

Tonight I was talking with Katy and it devolved into a 15 minute conversation about Zoo World.. the highlight of which was when she asked was level I was at.. I said “12”.

And she proceeded to go on a curse laden rant that would shock most sailors. All had to do with the fact that she was at level EIGHTEEN, yet MY zoo was worth more than HER zoo.

“ZOO WORLD IS A @#$@# SCAM!!!! @#$%YOU ZOO WORLD!!!”

Something like that. Oh,  and she misread. Her Zoo is worth more.. even though she started after me.. Apparently the game addiction runs in the genes. Also explains her brother’s obsession with Call of Duty.  We have issues.  We obviously need a 12 step program for online game addiction..

And I’m going to look that up…..

Right after I go save a baby speckled bear that’s lost in my zoo…..

As much as everyone likes to think they are straight forward, honest, upstanding individuals.. they lie.  Everyone lies on a daily basis,  when you get right down to it..

Think about it.. so someone asks you “How are you?”  And you immediately reply “Fine!” or “Great thanks!” without even thinking.. even though you’re boss teared ya a new one earlier in the day, your car’s acting weird, your kids are being bitchy and you had a fight with your significant other.. Oh, and you spilt coffee on your white shirt.

That’s not the point of this though.. everyone does the “unintentional little white lie” thing.. it’s a given.  Jesus won’t consider that a huge slight against the commandments (I think..)

And everyone does it.. sometimes to spare feelings (“no dear, your ass does NOT look fat in those pants..”) or to save an uncomfortable situation .. Or your own proverbial ass.. (“Wow, Dad, I have NO IDEA how that scratch got on the car! Must’ve been a shopping cart at Sobey’s!)

I can’t recall the first time I deliberately lied.. but I can recall a few… but, hey, wait.. this isn’t about me.. oh wait.. it IS isn’t it?

But I digress….

As a kid you tell little lies  that you THINK are going to fool your parents. (Sorry, kids… no one.. not even Danny Bonaduce or Gary Coleman in their hey days… is good enough actor to fool their mothers..)

I can remember trying to sneak cheese out of the house. Yeah, you read that right. I WAS HUNGRY OK?  Being the devious child that I was… I went into the house.. grabbed some sliced cheese… put it out on the FRONT porch and then went back out the back door.

Here is my faux pas.. instead of going to the front porch and EATING said cheese… I took it into the back yard.  (Oh, it was individually wrapped cheese slices.. that’s an important element to bring up..)

So. Me. Cheese.. Backyard.

I try to sneak cheese. My mother says “what do you have?”.. So I oh so casually take said cheese slice and put it in my pants and end up walking oddlyandmy mother finds the cheese. Trying too hard. Busted.

Ok, not a good example of how mothers know all.. but I’m trying to tell stories here.

I CAN tell you this. I can tell when most people are lying.. specifically my children.  They have “tells”. Certain things that they do that give them away.  But I cannot reveal them. Likely only Katy the daughter will read this, but on the off chance that Call of Duty, the PS2 and all television is off air, I cannot reveal the tells in case Josh the son reads this.

Here’s the thing….. most people don’t do it well. Why you ask?.. they overexplain.

Now, I will insert a story where, yes, I DID lie well. This may not paint me in the best light… but.. I’m going to share anyway.

After my marriage split I had the occasion to be asked out by a couple of guys and that was cool.. the no so cool part was they asked me out on the same night. (oh, maybe it’s that I said yes to both…)

I’m not proud of this .. but what happened was the one guy I was not -so-much-interested-in asked me out first. Then guy who I thought I was more interested in.. asked me out.

This is how this went down.. Long story short (which means it will get long….).. …. Met guy #1 at the bar and he brought his brother and various and sundry relatives to meet me. Oy vey. Hung out for a bit and then I got a “phone call” and I had to leave because my daughter was sick or something.. and I took off to meet boy number 2.  Boy number 1 thought (and rightfully so) that I was pulling an excuse. See? I over explained.

Don’t get me wrong.. boy number 1 was ok.. but I knew it wasn’t going anywhere (we had been on one date before) and .. boy number two was a guy I hadn’t seen in years, but the last time I did he was all body buildery hot and cute and shit. And in my mind, fun to talk to.

So… meet up with boy 2.

Now, not sure what happened to this guy, but options are as follows:  I may have had way too many brain injuries.  I may have been hammered drunk every time I saw this guy.. or…

He quit the ‘roids. Oh, and became stupid.

Got to the meeting place.  FASTEST BEER OF MY LIFE. (and those who know me, know I can drink fast)

Ok, I feel I must redeem myself here. I’m not a “looks” type of girl. I’m a brain girl. But.. compounded with … how shall I delicately put this…. IMMENSE WEIGHT GAIN.. coupled with the fact that talking to him was like talking to a piece of furniture only not as interesting….. yeah. Not so much. (please note that if he had been erudite and an excellent conversationalist I could have been swayed. I’ve never said “UM” so much in my life.  He, on the other hand, giggled inappropriately and suggested that we go make out in my truck. Really…?  REALLY??? uh, no)

So.. again. Fake phone call that my friend Jenn desperately needed my help and….. left. And went back to the first bar (my friends were there as well…saying that so as not to appear desperate)

Didn’t really care if boy 1 was there or not but figured I’d go say hi.

Found him. Making out with some chick.  I turned and walked.  But his brother saw me. I left and had fun with my friends.  No worries.

The next day I had a bunch of messages from boy number 1 apologizing.. figuring I was ditching him and that I had been making an excuse to leave and makes up some weird complicated story about the girl. Too much. Busted. (please disregard the fact that he had already busted me.. sorta)

What did I do? .. of course, played the innocent injured party and said “that’s okay, I hold no grudges” and equally magnanimous things and wished him well whilst making him feel oh so guilty..

My BFF Jodi upon hearing the story said “Way to take the high road by lying”….  I don’t care who you are.. that’s funny shit.

But.. I got away with it. I didn’t do “therapy” damage or anything..  Meh, Boy number 1 is likely better off. Boy number 2 likely got back on the ‘roids.

I recently ran into an acquaintance of mine who was with a “friend” and he then proceeded to waaaaaaay over explain why his wife was not accompanying him.. He walked away and all I said was “he’s doin’ her”… my friends were unsure.. until we saw the dirty dancing a little later in the evening.  Yeah, overexplained.

Point is.. if you really have to lie to save yours or anyone else’s asses.. or make conversation.. or just not get caught. Keep it simple.

And hide the cheese somewhere other than your pants…

p.s. Got my first hate mail today… LOL.  I was accused of being a man hater and that I thought all men were liars. (didn’t post in comments or I assure you I would have put that up. I may cut and paste..)  That said.. I honestly thought this was just some funny stories that didn’t paint ME in the best light. Oh well, dude wouldn’t have bought my book anyway. LMAO.  And please note that the preceding tale does not condone lying in any way, shape or form.