Life at 7000 ft

The World of 2016

2016-04-21T12:54:00.001-07:00

So I'm sitting at my desk today, surfing the interwebs finding out what I can about Prince, listening to 80's on 8 with Mark Goodman, watching old videos and reading tributes on FB and the morning has totally slipped away.
It's one of those "best laid plans" days. Things were planned, and then Prince died, and all those things went out the window and mortality came in through that window and sat down on my desk.
It's heavy. It's another childhood icon that has died, and he was really only 17 years older than me.

Last month it was David Bowie.

Prince just played a show last week. WTF?

Time is not our friend.

I've never lost a close family member or friend, so I don't know that grief. I only know the sorrow associated with cultural icons and how it makes me feel mortal.

Time keeps moving forward whether we exist or not. It's a deep thought.
Tomorrow is another day, but it doesn't have to include me.
Today matters, tomorrow does not.

This is my contribution. These are my breadcrumbs.

Moving

2015-04-17T12:16:00.001-07:00

You know that feeling that you get when you know something new and different is coming and you're anxious and you just want to get it over with while at the same time you want to back in the sameness of things as they exist now.
I've got it bad.
I had it in high school waiting to graduate and I had it in college waiting to graduate and I've got it now pretty bad.
Things are almost too settled. Choices have been made and there are elements that are set in stone.
What is going to change is that:

We are officially moving into town.

There is said it and now I've made a public announcement. Sometime this summer and hopefully before school starts we are going to move. After 9 years in the same house this is a really big deal.
I'm still wrapping my head around it, but change it is a coming.

As we get deeper into the process I'll provide more details.

I'm at home today cataloging books and putting fancy plastic covers on all my hardback first editions and listening to classical music.

I'm letting my book nerd flag fly.

Trip to Supai

2015-04-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

So this is what the Western end of the Grand Canyon looks like.
It looks deep, but what is deceiving is that there is another level of canyons above these walls. On the helicopter ride down to Supai we dropped down thru not one, but two sets of canyons. That is second level deep.
I was there to pass out boxes of crayons, board and picture books, and literacy information to members of the tribe and their children.
The trip was beautiful, eye opening and a little bit depressing. I sat and watched as hikers and tourists passed thru the village with practically no notice of the locals. I watched as mountains of soda were transported by helicopter down to the village.
It was quick in-quick out trip so there wasn't much time to sight see. I took a quick 20 minute out and back walk and came across the view above. This is not the large set of falls that Supai is known for, but the pre-falls falls. Gorgeous.
I'm a little ambivilent about the whole trip. We didn't see too many children. The event was not well attended. It was beautiful, but still like the rest of Arizona at this time of the year. I'm still processing, but not sure we made much of a difference in our visit, but did we really need to make a difference?

Greeting from Flagstaff

2015-04-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

Happy 2015!

A few months late I know, but I've been busy. I've got new job and it's full time. That means everyday from 8-5 with no spring break and working year round. It's weird that most adult humans do this.

Things have been getting really strange on this blog. I'm getting notifications that people are actually reading it and I'm not really posting anything.
Apparently Google's web crawlers are a little slow when it comes to small blogs. Stuff that I wrote 2 years ago is now appearing in Google results and I am getting page hits. Like crazy page hits.

I'm happy about it, but figured if people are coming I should give them something to read because I've got a lot to say.

News:

I now work for the Public Library.
I still work with kids and have now added singing and dancing to my library skills.
This Friday I will be traveling to one of the most remote areas of the US to deliver books to children. I will take scads of fabulous photos and post upon my return. Supai here I come.
There is more house/Bank of America drama coming and I will report it all here. It's bizarre and unexplainable and frankly just exhausting.
I bought a fancy Persian cat. He is named Frank and will be featured prominently here from now on.
Yes I am a book lady and a cat lady, but I also kick ass in so many ways that I am sure you will be entertained by my musings and comments on life.
I met Fred Durst a few weeks ago and then was told "No" by Chris Robinson when I asked for a photo in Vegas last weekend. Rereading that I feel that those are two totally unrelated stories.
I will turn 40 in just 2 months. Holy Crap!

Join me. I will take you for a ride.

Lose It! App

2014-02-03T10:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I am trying to lose a little weight.

I got a little overindulgent over Christmas and just December in general. My pants were getting a little tight and I'll be damned if I buy a pair of size 10 pants.

I looked over a lot of options and finally chose the Lose It! app.

I have never done this before, but I am now counting calories. Usually when I want to drop a few I just try and eat less and work out more and I am usually disappointed by the results. The last time I lost a lot of weight was for my sister's wedding back in 2008. I got down to 130 and looked fabulous, but it was hard to keep off.

Now keep in mind when I tell you my weights that I have a good 8lbs of tits (4 on each side). So if it seems high, please take that into consideration.

I try to stay just below 140. It is a good weight for me and I usually flux between 138 and 142 which I am fine with. When I got on the scale after Christmas I was on the far side of 140 and creeping up on 150 and I cannot stand for that. Nothing motivates me more than scary scale numbers, so since Jan 1 I have been counting calories.

I figured I need to eat around 1500 calories a day to lose a pound a week. So far it's been pretty good. I can still eat whatever I want which includes a lot of ice cream and occasional donuts, but once I hit that limit I am out for the day as far as eating. Some days and some foods are a guessing game as to exact calories consumed, but I'm making an educated guess as I log my foods.

Tomorrow is a big log-in for me. I am hoping to be near 140 tomorrow am when I weigh in. It is a very slow moving diet. If anything it has made be more conscious of how many calories some foods have. Chips seem to be the worst in calorie count so those have been mostly cut out of my diet (except for when dining at Chipotle). Even if I don't hit my goal of one pound a week I know I will get there if I keep logging my food and trying to stay around 1500 calories. I had a setback last week with my flu and just ate when I was hungry. I didn't let my stomach growl. I needed the food and energy to fight off the germs.
I have no big date in my mind of when I want to be back down to 135, but however long it takes I will be happy. I will feel better. My clothes will fit better and I will be healthier.

Overall it's a great app. I'm not sure if it's the app itself, or just me committing to keep track of my calories, but the app makes it easy to log it. Not all foods can be found in this app, but if you break a food down into it's component parts you can get pretty close. It also logs exercise. The numbers don't usually jive between what Lose It! says and my treadmill as far as calories burned, but I try and find something close. If I burn 300 calories, I can eat 300 more calories and take my daily intake up to 1800. Therefor a day with a donut means I MUST get on the treadmill.

I'll keep you posted, but I've got my fingers crossed for 140 tomorrow.

360 To Health

2014-02-03T10:15:00.002-07:00

I am on my feet. I can breathe. I am over my PMS and all related ailments.

O happy day!

I thought I'd post some more awesome photos.

This is me before Christmas when it last snowed. We got 8" and had to cancel the last day of school before Christmas break. It was a beautiful morning as I was heading out to deliver Christmas packages for Fed Ex and I had to stop and take a selfie at the side of the road.

I know, I look gorgeous and the mountain ain't bad either.

And here is an oldie, but a goodie. Of course I did not know my husband when he looked like this. I never got to run my fingers through his long luscious locks. He cut them about a year before I knew him, so I absolutely love these pictures of him with his ridiculous hair. It's gorgeous and so blond and wavy. I can't get enough of it. Such a stud for 1995.

Funk Busting

2014-01-28T11:04:00.001-07:00

Here is that damned commercial. I hate it and love it at the same time.

So here I am 5 minutes later cranking up Roar and a little Rihanna to try and bust this funk.

Should I not write just because it's difficult? What kind of BS is that? Isn't it supposed to be hard? There are no guarantees.

That other question that plagues me constantly: If you could do anything and knew you would succeed what would you do? WRITE!

If I was on my death bed and hadn't yet written a book. I would be disappointed with myself. Books are my life and my love. It's not supposed to be easy. I tell myself this over and over and over again and yet still I make excuses. Will I feel more creative and satisfied with my life if I write? Yes. Even if I never get published?

Still YES!

WTF am I even doing right now? Writing.

Does it make me feel better? Damn skippy it does. That's why I'm doing it on this sucky day.

It doesn't take a Master's Degree in Geometry to work out that proof.

How to Successfully Make a Major Life Change

2014-01-28T10:44:00.002-07:00

Oh if only there were a book with this title.

And then inside the book a complete list of choices just for me.

Kind of like a choose your own adventure book, but just for my life. All the paths would be highlighted and the choices would have clear end results.

You know how when you saw Eat Pray Love, (the movie makes it more evident that the book) and realized what a selfish bitch Elizabeth Gilbert was being when she left her perfectly amazing husband and New York life behind to go out and find herself? I feel like that.

I have everything. Awesome kids, supportive and loving husband, a community and network established, a job I love (most of the time), and a home filled with books, photographs, and movies. What more could a gal ask for?

Well this year we have no big plans that I am excited about (no Europe). I have kind of given up on writing (I don't seem to have the patience to complete anything when it gets difficult). I have a very dead end job that makes very little money. The children are all locked into great schools. Our business is frustrating, but profitable.

It feels like sophomore year of college. You know what's going on and how to make it, and now you just have to slog through 3 more years to graduate and make the next life change: graduation.

But at my age and in this stage of life everything will remain pretty much status quo for the next 10 years when the last of my kids graduates from high school. It seems like a very long stretch of working and homework and dinners and shopping at Target.

How does one add spice into that? Tickets to Katy Perry shows? 2 week summer vacations with the family? A new car? Rearranging the furniture and painting the living room a new color?

I know it's the journey and not the destination in life, but what if that journey has turned into an endless road trip through the cornfields of Illinois. Even looking out the window isn't any fun anymore.

And yes before you ask I do have PMS. It's those few days before when my hormone levels are so low that I question my entire life and where it needs to go next. And then wouldn't you know it iTunes radio turns to Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah and things gets really existential.

That new Apple commercial with Robin Williams monologue from Dead Poets Society is really getting to me and the ad is on constantly. It really doesn't make me want to buy Apple Products, but does make me question what I am doing now to add verse. "The powerful play goes on and YOU may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
I've had this discussion here before about the importance of adding a verse. Does it make me any more or less of a person if I add a verse. We can't all be big important people in life. Somebody has to just deliver the mail. Somebody will just be really good at painting road stripes. I may be here solely to be an awesome mother to my children. What if that is my verse? How am I to know?

Making a change just to change is usually not a good idea. Should we pack up and move to Belize like those people we see on House Hunters? Should we sell our business and relocate? Should we downsize so that we have more family time and money to travel? Should we try to eat healthier? Is it just the pressure of a New Year and the need to do better than last year? Or is it just Jan/Feb and I'm in the doldrums?

I know there aren't any answers to my questions. Only time will tell. Hell, next week I'll probably be fine and excited about something that I don't even know about today. But in the meantime, damn, today is difficult for no reason at all.

Dickens Sick

2014-01-27T09:43:00.001-07:00

If I was a character in a Jane Austen or Dickens novel I would probably be dead. My sister would have been sent for, my children not allowed into my sickroom, and a doctor who makes house calls would have been sitting next to the fireplace in an uncomfortable chair. The curtains on my large canopy bed would be drawn.
For the first time in eight years I actually took to my bed for an illness. I did not leave my room on Saturday. Food was brought up to me at my request. I did not take a shower. I did not read. I slept fitfully all day. The windows were too bright to let the curtains be pulled open.
It was the kind of sick where you see people on TV riding bicycles, eating at restaurants, and riding in cars and you think, I will NEVER be able to do that again. I will never be well enough to leave the house ever again.
And then it was Sunday and I took a shower and rode in a car and went to a restaurant. Then I immediately collapsed into my bed upon returning home and napped for 2 hours from the exertion.
Today is better. I had to take the children to school, again. I have taxes that need to be done before the end of the week and laundry that must be done to try and kill whatever virus attacked me.

Again if I were a character in a novel written in the 1800's I would be able to convalesce for weeks to get my strength back from the awful fever that I was afflicted with. What ever happened to that? Why is that not permissible anymore? I could definitely spend at least another 2 days in my bed. Is it because no one has servants anymore? Is is because a mother is not allowed to be sick? Is it because the world would grind to a halt with my absence? I'm not sure, but I sure would love to have certain favors granted to me because of my recent illness.

But the world still revolves. I had to buy 2 Katy Perry tickets today. We are all out of band-aids. There are bills that need paid. I need a balance transfer for one of my credit cards (Suck it Discover card. You will never charge me 20% interest). There are books that need read and a dishwasher that needs emptied.

I would totally exchange a 21st century sick bed for a 19th century sick bed, as long as I could bring along a large bottle of Tylenol.

Almost too late to say Happy New Year

2014-01-24T10:44:00.001-07:00

I'm late I know.
I've been busy and today I am overwhelmingly sick. Like too sick to read, like too sick to keep my eyes open in the shower. I think maybe I've consumed too much Dextromethorphan and Guaifenesin.

Can you tell I copied and pasted that?

I could barely get the kids to school today.

So why am I here writing again. Well, it's interesting. There has been more activity here on my blog since I've been AWOLsince November than almost all of 2013 combined. There is this strange little post titled Driving Advice in England that has been getting mucho traffico.

I cannot figure out why. It doesn't really give any advice, kind of just asks for it. It talks about Rick Steves' divorce, but he's not at the pinnacle of love life gossip and I was talking about it 2-3 years after it happened. I just can't figure it out. There were over 1000 page views last month alone.
I even got some mail from Google about my AdSense account. That kind of traffic is worthy of a book deal in some circles.

So I'll be back on Monday to update and post some photos and also talk about my 5 pound weight loss since Jan 1.
This flu could really help with that project.

So stay tuned. I'm still here.

Battle Cry

2013-11-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Sunday night I was having a shitty time. I had the Sundays for sure, but sometimes it's those moments of momentous shitaciousness that inspire greatness.
I went into my head and looked for a coping mechanism that would fit the week and came up with a real winner.
Fake it to make it.
I started Monday with that attitude and it has successfully brought me to this moment where I am faking myself out that I am a serious writer and I have serious fans that read my blog religiously and really wonder what I'm up to when I'm not summarizing my life on this page.
The week took a turn on Tuesday and I started to doubt myself and start to feel shitty again, and then I was like, this is total bull shit.
I know who I am.
I am an architect.
I am a business owner.
I am a librarian.
Children love me.
MY children love me.
I can do anything and there isn't anyone, and I mean anyone, that can make me doubt myself.
Of course I am typing this while "Eye of the Tiger" is playing on my Bose, but regardless of that I really had to give myself a pep talk.
I get down on myself sometimes that I am not living up to my full potential, but then I realize all the things I have accomplished cannot be measured by my small paycheck.
Few people can say that they have a job that they truly love and I should be proud of that and treasure it more than monetary compensation.

So the fake it to make it motto will be my battle cry as I run through the holiday season.
I am totally pretending to be a writer. I am pretending to be the kind of woman who gets on her treadmill every day. I am pretending to be the kind of woman who does not eat handfuls of marshmallows every time she passes the pantry. I'm still having trouble with that last one, because I can't imagine anyone passing up marshmallows.
It's an interesting way to live the week, but so far I like it.

Flagstaff 10 Years Later

2013-11-05T09:33:00.001-07:00

So this week marks 10 years of living in Flagstaff.
I often times sit on the toilet and think... I have shit here more than anyplace else in the world.
That's just how I wrap my head around the time that has passed. My toilet seat has seen more of my ass than anywhere else in the world.
Leaving California was easy and hard at the same time. We came to a beautiful place from a place full of opportunities. We left a lifestyle behind to embrace mountain living.
Apparently it suits us just fine because we are still here and still loving it.

This is our 1st Christmas is Flagstaff. I don't think I look much different for 10 years older. Isaak even looks the same.

This is one of my favorite photos of all time. We should go up on the mountain and recreate it this month ten years later. This was our first few weeks here. I still used a film camera and often put in black and white film to try and capture life more dramatically. It worked. This photo to me says a lot about life and fatherhood. Now Isaak wears that Dickies jacket.

Thanks Flagstaff. Our kids have had a beautiful childhood thanks in part to you.

Katy Perry and Maya Angelou are Tormenting Me

2013-11-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Let's start off my saying that I've been listening to too much Katy Perry.
I bought the album for my 7 year old. She's a big fan, but she is barely interested in the new album.
I however am listening to it quite frequently.
It's in the mix. I keep listening to the "Recently Added" play list and she's in there with Alt J, Black Carl, and a bunch of classical stuff I got from the library. Oh and I stumbled upon some more movie theme songs. Hedwig's Theme is playing right now.
Mix all that together with me reading a book about immortality and right now anything seems possible.
The world is full of possibilities. I am just choosing to ignore most of them. But with all this inspirational music those opportunities are flying around my head in a menacing dance.
Think Beetlejuice mixed with Edward Scissorhands.
Then my FB/highschool friend, who is participating in NANOWRIMO, posted up a link to the most inspirational quotes for writers and I saw this.
It slapped me in the face.

Yes.
I am in agony.
I know this.
I live with this everyday and it drives me crazy. Crazier maybe.

Not Today

2013-10-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

Just a quick little post to say that I'm not feeling it today.
Yesterday I was too busy to write and today I'm having printer issues and dirty floor issues.
These must be resolved before I can dally with writing an impressive post.
Things are percolating.
I'm waiting for them to drip.

Random Photo Tuesday

2013-10-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday. I'm bored so I'm going thru some photos on my computer. There are not many on this particular device, but the ones that there are are pretty good. I am a mother, so therefor I spend most of my time taking pictures of other people. Great ones of me are few and far between. Someday I will look back and wonder where years of my life went. There will be no photographic evidence of me.

That is the nature of being a mother. That is why so many women just take selfies in bathroom mirrors.

This is one of my all time favorite photos of myself. Unfortunately is has an ugly hotel room as a background. This is from the night Carl and I were supposed to go to his 20th high school reunion. It was a total bust, so we skipped out and met up with an old rock-n-roll buddy of Carl's at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

This is a photo of my 2 day old niece Sarah. She is my only niece and is the coolest thing ever. It was an honor and a privilege to see here so soon after she was born. She just turned 3.

This is Sarah and I playing dress up a couple of months later at my house. She was trying to suck the skin off my face and I had to yell at Amelia, then just 4, to run and get my camera and catch the moment on film. I haven't laughed that hard very often.

This is the man of my dreams. I love this picture because he so rarely smiles like this. He is very hard to catch smiling in a photo and this one does it magnificently. We were laughing and drinking and waiting for a show to start at the Orpheum with Carl's cousin Andrew. This is on the deck of the Weatherford Hotel in Flagstaff. It was a good night and gave me this amazing photo of an amazing man. It's good to see him smile.

A girl can dream

2013-10-21T18:36:00.003-07:00

You know how I only work 2-3 days a week? Supposedly that means I have so much extra time on my hands.
This week this morning Otis wakes up with red goopy eyes. He can't go to school. We get a 9:30 Dr. appt and it turns out he just has a nasty scratch on his eye. He gets back to school at 11:30.

The week before my van is in the shop when my back-up car, the 2004 Land Rover, practically bursts into flames 8 miles from my house. That was a very long 8 miles back to the house in a truck with a non-working water pump.

The week before the dog wakes up bleeding out of a huge swelled up lesion on her cheek. That meant the morning at the vet and a couple of follow up appointments.

How could I do all that while working full time?

I've applied for several full time jobs, even had a job offer once, but I couldn't pull the trigger on a commitment that large.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever venture back into the real world with a high-power responsibility holding job. I see other people with suits and fancy shoes and ID badges and sometimes I am envious and of their large regular paycheck and other times I wonder why they have committed so much of their time and their lives to an entity that they likely don't have much control over.

I may have resigned myself to the life of a part time working mother, but still I dream of the life of a writer: Meetings in New York with my editor, sending manuscripts back and forth with things to correct and research, spending time at the library with a deadline and a story to finish while a Flagstaff snowstorm swirls outside the windows, large royalty checks coming in the mail that will dwarf my paltry school district salary and enable my family to take summer long research trips to exotic locals while I write, and attending signing events at conventions all year long.

I'm gonna dream it and I'm gonna do it.
A writer's life would still allow me plenty of time for broken-down cars, and sick kids and pets right?

Healthcare.gov Update

2013-10-21T13:00:00.002-07:00

So it's been a while since I tried Healthcare.gov.

Over the weekend my husband told me he had heard that the log-in bugs were worked out as long as I created a new account.

Cut to 15 minutes ago. I created a new account.

It did go much smoother this time and there was a place where I could see sample rates before applying for coverage. That was great.

I was able to create an account. I got a confirmation email and the link worked. I went to the log-in page and I was taken to...

Page not found.

The log-in still does not work. I think there are still some bugs.

I am happy that up until that point everything seemed to be working well. That is a good sign.

Maybe there are just too many people logging in right now. I will try back later and then update you here.

Anne Rice and The Fault in Our Stars

2013-10-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

I know I don't usually discuss books here on this page.
I usually do it HERE.

But I just had to discuss a few literary things here for all you less than bibliophiles.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green has just one the coveted award of Emily's Favorite Book award. If you are scared off by the plot summary (two cancer kids falling in love), don't be.
Read it. This man is a master of getting great words to stick to a page. It is hilarious and if you know me and like me and want me to continue to know and like you, you must read this book.

Now enough of the book recommendations. If you wanted that you would read my other blog.

My other news regarding Anne Rice is that she is currently on a lengthy book tour promoting her new book The Wolves of Midwinter.
I have two options to meet her: A weekend trip to LA to the B&N at the Grove to meet Ms. Rice on Saturday November 2nd.
OR a Thursday evening in Tempe at a small independent book store called Changing Hands on November 14th.

In my imagination I go to the LA book signing and casually bump into Brad and Angelina who are also there to get their books signed. The line is short and only the truly literary are there to meet Ms. Rice.
In reality I know this signing will be INSANE. The Grove is crazy anyway, but add Anne Rice on a Saturday afternoon and all hell could break loose.

I think my chances are better in Tempe. Maybe there will be a more subdued crowd of bibliophiles and vampire nuts in attendance.

Either way I am super excited to meet Anne Rice. She was one of the authors that I found in my grandpa's library at the top of the stairs in a farmhouse in Vermont. I met Lestat there and also the Mayfair Witches, and VC Andrews' grand cast of characters. Between all the old MAD magazines and history books I found my grandpa's collection of fantastical fiction. He had a huge collection of mass market paperbacks that my mother did not read. It was heaven. I could pick and choose and then read to my hearts content while sitting in an apple tree in a green Vermont pasture with a friendly flock of sheep. Yes it really was that amazing. Parts of my childhood were idyllic.
During those idyllic summers Anne Rice was right there with me.
To meet her next month will be an honor and a privilege.

Keeping it Real

2013-10-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

In an effort to keep myself honest and with full disclosure, I present the following rant on my lack of money. I love real numbers from real people. Here they are. Enjoy.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Even though I am only working 2 or 3 days a week. I have not had a minute to spare.

The VW Roatan has been on the fritz for the last couple of weeks, so I finally took in to the shop yesterday. Luckily it’s only a cracked hose, but driving my back-up car: a 2004 Land Rover Discovery proved dangerous this morning as it started smoking as I made the final stretch home. It started smoking and hissing and overheating. After several phone calls, help from our local shell gas station attendant and my dad I was able to coax the old thing home one last time.

Thermostat? Water pump? Broken hose? It will be a few weeks before we find out.

Money is tight.

Every week for the past few months one of our FedEx trucks has been out of commission. We need 2 new trucks, but can’t afford the payments, so instead we keep credit carding repairs in the hopes that a miracle will occur; either we come into a chunk of money or the trucks decide to work and not break for a while.

It’s risky business.

It’s propane season. That runs us around $800- $1000 a month right thru April.

The dog got sick last week too. A little roughhousing with my parent’s dog turned into a neck bite that got infected and swelled up like a balloon.

So let’s summarize:

2 broken personal vehicles

3 broken Fed Ex trucks

1 sick puppy

1 500 gal propane tank

1 Federal Education Loan

All that equals no cash.

Now you might argue… Emily, but you are only working part time. Why don’t you go back to full time? I torture myself with that question, but my income is so small regardless of whether I work 3 or 5 days a week that the impact is small on our finances. However, my mental health, taking into account of whether I work 3 or 5 days a week, varies a great deal. I feel fully in control of my life working 3 days a week. Working 5 days a week I am on the edge of mental health. It is simply that I value my mental health over my financial health.

There are 3 things that are making it tight. The most recent is my student loan that I just started paying in July. Since then things are ridiculously tight. I had imagined that my loan payments would be around $300. They are actually at $460. Add that to the $550 VW payment and I won’t even tell you how much the credit card payments are. I would embarrass myself.

There has to be a way to bring things under control financially again. I’m working on it.

Student loan forbearance?

Car refinance?

Credit card refinance or consolidation?

Sell a book idea?

Win the lotto?

Better part-time job?

These are all viable options.

Things are hard and I don’t see an easy solution on the horizon.

Healthcare.gov So Far

2013-10-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

I am currently live chatting with a help agent at Healthcare.gov.
I am anxious to see what the result is of my query.

Since the site opened last week I have been trying to create a username and password to open an account. I did last week succeed in creating an account for my email, but immediately after opening the account and attempting to log in I was told that my username and password were invalid. I hadn't written them down, but it was only 10 seconds earlier so I asked for my password to be emailed to me. The link didn't work. I asked for my username to be sent to me. No email with a link ever came. I figured I did something wrong. I didn't know what, but something.

So this morning I attempted to create a new username and password using Carl's email. I wrote them down this time. After confirming my email address I was linked back to the log-in page and guess what... My username and password were invalid. They were not recognized.

So it's them, it's not me. I knew it.

So here is my response from the live chat session.

"At this time the site is experiencing a glitch that is currently being worked on. We do not have a time frame to when the glitch will be fixed, however, it is being worked on at this time. Please check back periodically for progress."

And my response.

"A glitch? That sounds more like a catastrophic mistake. I've had this issue since the site opened last week. Millions of other web sites have figured out how to make "log in " work. I hope your techs can figure it out."

I was then told that I should call the 1-800 number for further assistance.
Ain't nobody got time for that. At least not today. I'll try tomorrow when I've got a good book in front of me and time to kill.
So it's just the web site that is jacked? They can still quote me premiums on the phone? I'll find out tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Grand Canyon Closed

2013-10-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

There is a huge flashing sign that I am passing every day on my way home that says:

GRAND CANYON CLOSED. NO THROUGH TRAFFIC.

It's very strange and kind of apocalyptic in a way.

I've never seen that sign before. The Canyon is always open. If you want to go on Christmas Day, you can.

Our entire city revolves around the Canyon. People commute up to work there. A lot of the small businesses deliver their products and services up there. We have more outdoor outfitters than most cities our size because people stop here and gear up before continuing up to the Canyon. Our hotels and restaurants probably get about half of their business from tourists heading up. Our Walmarts and Sam's Club parking lots are always filled with RVs while people stock up on supplies before their trip.
People plan and book months and years in advance to get a room, an RV spot or a camping spot at the canyon. The North Rim closes in two weeks. It's the most beautiful time of the year on that side of the canyon and no one is going to be able to see it.

What effect is the government closure going to have on our town and all the surrounding communities?

I can sum it up in one word: HUGE.

The selfishness and stubbornness of the govt. is driving me crazy. Don't even get me started on the effect it's having on the WIC program. I might burst a blood vessel.
Closing public lands that actually MAKE money doesn't seem like a great idea. It seems like a very uneducated idea. I know the decisions on what to close and what to leave open as a necessary service are difficult, but who are we hurting here? The men who can't come to an agreement should be punished, not the working folk, small businesses and tourists.

Would France close down the Louvre or the Eiffel Tower? Did Greece close down the Acropolis when their govt took a dump? I don't think so. They desperately needed that money and so do we. The Grand Canyon is a money maker. Let's let it make money.

I'm not a huge Grand Canyon fan. It's a big hole and I've seen it a hundred times, but people travel literally from all over the world to see that hole. It's a big deal. Let's open it up and shut down DC.

Healthcare Tuesday Oct 1

2013-10-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

58?

58 People have viewed my blog today.

Who are you and why are you here?

Identify yourselves.

Don't get me wrong. I'm cool with it, but having trouble wrapping my head around it. It only took 4 years to reach that one day number. If we keep going at this rate I might actually make that .05 cent commission from Google for allowing adds. A girl can dream.

Now lets get to the question of Health care.
It's a big deal today.
My family buys private insurance from Blue Cross. Carl and the kids are on the plan. It currently costs around $600/month for a $5000 deductible policy. We hardly ever use it but pay $7200 a year for the privilege of having insurance and getting a slight discount on health care services from the association with BCBS.
In a bad year where we actually used our insurance (broken arm or minor surgery) we could spend $12,000 on health care.
I was on the school district insurance until Aug when I went to part time. I am no longer covered on insurance. I will probably buy a new policy for the whole family or just get myself a policy thru
Healthcare.gov. starting Jan. 1
I have visited the site several times this morning. Needless to say it is not working. I cannot even create an account. I know it's overloaded today, but I have never been kicked out of registration process for providing "wrong" answers to my own security questions.
This is going to be a rough process. I am interested in having better insurance. I am also interested in having more affordable insurance. I already feel as though I am paying my fair share to contribute to the health care system that supports those who don't have health care. Our $7200 is going somewhere, but not to take care of us. It's just such a bullshit system already I dont' have much confidence that this is one will be more equitable.
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.
I'll keep you all posted on the price and coverage and process of getting thru the new system. I am a librarian after all and I am supposed to disseminate information freely.

Just stop back frequently and help keep my numbers up. Mama needs some insurance and those 5 cent commissions for every 5000 visitors could really start to stack up.

Are You Feeling It?

2013-09-30T12:05:00.001-07:00

I am.

I shaved my son's afro off yesterday. It felt so good. He looks like a young upstanding boy scout now instead of a homeless punk who doesn't own a hairbrush or have a mother that loves him. Can you say "School photo retake"?

Also note that my 13 year old is taller than I am. I'm a solid 5'4" and he is now a growing 5'6".
It's weird I tell ya. Who is that tall man walking around my house? It's not a man it's Isaak.

That photo is so fresh I am still wearing that outfit right this very second.

I saw the movie Don Jon this weekend. It was all sex the whole time which I much prefer to all explosions and car chases.

The bills are paid, the dog is sleeping, the laundry is folded, the dishwasher is emptied, I've trolled all my favorite interweb sites and here I am now blogging.

Should blogging be the last thing that I do? Should I be making it a priority to take the time to write down crazy shit that happens here in my house and in Flagstaff? I totally missed last week. I've been reading too much and then writing about reading. Not everyone wants to read that. Most people don't even want to read books let alone read a blog about somebody else reading books.

I'm only working 2 days this week.
I'm going to read a shit ton of books or at least attempt to.
I'm going to get my moustache waxed (waxed off, not use moustache wax to style my stache).
I'm going to get the dog washed.
I'm going to start and finish some taxes.
I'm going to listen to more Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
I'm only going to eat at Chipotle once this week.
I'm going to use highlighters only when absolutely necessary.
I'm going to feel it.
Are you feeling it?

Travel Planning

2013-09-23T18:06:00.001-07:00

We didn't do anything or go anywhere this weekend.
So disappointing.
I did how ever spend some time planning for the next few months.

It is a tradition in our house to take our children for their 10th birthday to the destination of their choice without their siblings. Of course their choice must be within a days drive of Flagstaff.

Three years ago Isaak chose Las Vegas and spent the weekend driving go-carts at Circus Circus and shooting weapons at one of the fancy Vegas ranges. Meanwhile I spent some quality time shopping at Caesars.

Otis turned 10 back in August but it was so close to our gigantic summer road trip that he got shafted on the dates and hasn't had his trip yet. He has finally decided he wants to go to Legoland and we have chosen a date and booked a hotel. He wants to spend the weekend riding rides and building Legos. He has also developed a love of beignets from Ruby's Diner which is conveniently located across the freeway from Legoland.

Next on the agenda is a trip to Vegas for Carl and I to see NIN in November. This will be a childless weekend. I always wonder whether to take the children with us on weekends or leave them at home. Of course we always have a fabulous time without them, but we feel bad leaving them out of fun experiences. Do we spend too much time away from them? Do we go out too much? It's standard parental guilt, but it still stings every time we go somewhere without them.

Ideally I would like to take the following trips in the upcoming year:

New Orleans for Carl and I in May of 2014 for our 15th anniversary. Cost of hotel and flights: $2000

Hawaii with the kids in June of 2014. Cost of hotel and flights: $6000

Summer Road Trip 2014 West Coast Highway 1 all the way to Seattle. Cost: $4000

If we keep saving and keep Christmas on the down-low I think we can make New Orleans and the road trip, but Hawaii is pushing it.
The road trips are priority #1 for travel for the next few years. Anything else is just gravy.

What I have learned most in the past year is that if you want to travel you have to book it. Book it months in advance and then plan around it. If you don't pay for the tickets and hotels in advance you will have no incentive to make it work out. We work hard all year long and our business makes it hard to take time off. I had dreamed for years to take a trip to Europe and didn't think it was possible, but it was and I still can't believe that we did it. Buy those non-refundable tickets and make it happen.

Next year New Orleans, the year after Machu Picchu, then maybe back to Europe. We will do it all.

Veit Springs Flagstaff

2013-09-16T13:07:00.000-07:00

We didn't make it to Red Mountain. We kept it super local and crossed the street to our own backyard mountain.

This is one of the best hikes to do with kids because it has a very clear destination. We've found that when we just walk a mile in and then turn around in the middle of a trail, the kids are frustrated and cranky. If we have a goal, they are totally on board.

The destination on this hike is an old abandoned cabin, a spring, a cave, and some rock art. I know… so much reward for such a short hike. That's why it is amazing for kids. Ours loved it. This hike is super short, only a mile and a half round trip. It's not too steep or rocky, but rocky enough that the kids won't feel like they are walking on a side walk. We've been walking this hike since the kids were small and strapped into backpacks and strollers. Now that they are big enough to crawl around on their own it's even more fun. The cabin site and it's associated structures are wedged in between some huge boulders and up against a cliff wall. There is so much to climb on and explore we probably stayed here and looked around longer than it took us to hike up.

Also since it's the end of monsoon season it's also mushroom season. Carl spend the entire hike taking pictures of all the variety of mushrooms. He says he's going to see which ones are edible and hope for some that are classified as hallucinogens.

The hike can be found in most Flagstaff guide books under Veit Springs Trail. Take highway 180 up to Snowbowl road and turn up the mountain. Climb up about 4.5 miles and look for a turn off in a little crack on the right. It's called the Lamar Haines Memorial Trailhead, but you can't see that sign from the road. Just look for the crack and a little parking area. There are usually a few cars parked there on the weekends.

Rock Art

Standing in front of the cave.

Rock art at entrance to cave.

Trees growing in the cracks up the cliff wall.

I can't say it enough times. We are very lucky to live in Flagstaff. This is not our vacation home, but our final destination. There are so many places to explore and opportunities to teach our children. It's mind bottling. We are in nature every day. We feel the seasons. We watch things grow and decompose. We measure the rain and the snow and enjoy the sunshine. We smell the elk, hear the coyotes, feel the caterpillars, and see the trees change colors. This is one of the best seasons in Flagstaff. The monsoon is tapering off. The ground will dry out, the temperatures will cool off and it will be the perfect time to hike and explore without the threat of heat or flash flooding. The wildflowers are still in bloom and most of the summer tourists have gone home for the fall. We have the place all to ourselves.