You all know how much I love when the LAC community can help people out with their big goals. The other day Al Smith, a long-time reader and all-around awesome guy, reached out to me about HIS big scary goal — a book on career advancement, the origins of which started after he was passed over for a seemingly shoe-in promotion himself. Al was devastated, and determined to unlock what went wrong and how to move forward.

Al currently has 486 survey respondents, but he’s looking for 1,001. The survey only takes 5 minutes — will you help him close the gap? I’d take all 515 if I could! I will report back in my next post on how we did Here’s the link: http://bit.ly/y8QTxJ

Now I bring you my first video update in AGES — huge thanks to Monique Johnson for filming!

Your assignment: make a list of 25 things you’re proud of (right now!) — either from the last week, the last month, the last year, or your whole life! It will honor how far you’ve come, and give you an extra boost of motivation when you’re getting ready to tackle your next big goal.

Looking for the inner confidence it takes to go after a big goal? My good friend Molly launched her Fierce Love Course this morning. If you do nothing else, watch her super moving video at the top of the page. 

Creating your own video handshake

I have to say a little bit more about Monique — she’s another super long-time LAC reader (and now good friend) who helps clients “create a virtual handshake that will make your business (or blog) stronger, sexier and have clients lined up at your door.”

I cannot recommend her services highly enough! Monique is fun, creative and incredibly passionate about telling stories through video. If you sign-up for her newsletter, you can also get instant access to her new video course.

Two upcoming speaking gigs: you’re invited!

The first is tonight (Wednesday) — a live video Q&A call with me at 8:30pm ET, hosted by The Young Entrepreneur Council. Grab a glass of wine and join from your living room!

The second is a day-long event in Syracuse on April 3 called the WISE Symposium (Women in Support of Entrepreneurship). We were asked to submit a picture of ourselves with a word that describes us. It seemed so odd to say something like, “I am…fabulous! brilliant! a rockstar!” so instead I turned the focus back on all of you — feels much more true to what I’m all about anyway. I’d love to see you in Syracuse if you live in the area!

***

Celebrating Valentine’s Day with Everyone

P.S. Speaking of video, another reader — Jeremy Wisuthseriwong — sent me this awesome video of how he celebrated Valentines’ Day last week. I absolutely love seeing how his gesture of “one love” just lit everybody up!

There must be something in the air…I was asked to post on the topic of Freedom for two blog round-ups today — very fitting given a recent dream of mine (more below). It’s fun to get such a meaty topic to pontificate on! Today’s post is part of Mike Routen’s Personal Freedom Round Robin and Molly Mahar’s ABC’s of Self Love Blog Crawl + Treasure Hunt. Molly’s series is part of a broader program called The Fierce Love Course, an awesome offering to help you “activate your amazing.” 

On Freedom: The Counterintuitive Way to Fly

I’m a dream junkie.

There’s nothing I love more than remembering a crazy dream and analyzing it the next day with my trusty Element Encyclopedia of 20,000 Dreams, discussing all the possible meanings with friends.

The other night after returning from Mexico during a series of otherwise scattered dreams, I remembered seeing an extremely vivid, three-dimensional Avatar-style cobalt blue butterfly flying straight toward my face. It was crystal clear and extremely memorable.

According to my dream book:

“To see a butterfly in your dream denotes creativity, romance, joy and spirituality. You may be undergoing a transformation or rebirth in your way of thinking. To see a beautiful colorful butterfly in your dream denotes the positive impression you hope to make at a future social gathering or in some aspect of your life. It may also indicate your love of freedom and a refusal to be tied down. For Jung, the butterfly was a symbol of the whole psyche — as it was for the Greeks, to whom the word “psyche” meant both butterfly and soul.”

What does freedom mean to you?

Freedom is defined as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.”

It is no small coincidence that my words of 2011 were Freedom and Fly. Hello dream! Freedom is one of my core values, and is a driving force behind almost every decision I make.

But freedom does not have to mean that you are self-employed, single, or a stuff-eschewing minimalist; freedom can mean many things:

• Freedom from shackles of the mind: self-doubt, fear, limiting beliefs
• Freedom from financial worry
• Freedom from shoulds and social-self constructions
• Freedom to think, speak and act with truth, integrity and authenticity
• Freedom to make decisions that serve your highest good, and that of those around you

In commitment we find freedom

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating — in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
—Anne Morriss

A fallacy of freedom is that we must not allow ourselves to be tied-down, lest we lock the cage on our ability to fly. However, as the quote states, oftentimes it is in those very commitments that we truly find freedom:

• Commitment to a giant goal gives us the freedom to pursue it even on our worst days
• Commitment to our friends and romantic partners allows us the space to speak hard truths in service of strengthening the bond
• Commitment to our values grounds us and roots our decisions in what really matters
• Commitment to living in the moment, gratitude and forgiveness gives us freedom from mental suffocation, as we learn to let go of worry, stress and regret and focus on the gifts in front of us instead
• Commitment to ourselves allows us to play big in the world, to create and serve others in our highest form

Freedom is the exhilaration that comes from our ability to fly, made possible by the commitments we make to what really matters in our lives.

What does freedom mean to you?
What commitments allow you to find that freedom? 

***

Reminder: I’ll be doing a live video Q&A call hosted by The Young Entrepreneur Council at 8:30pm ET on February 22 — would love for you to join us!

One more picture from the top of the water tower - Bow Pose (Danurasana) - Photo by Sean Ogle

There’s an important announcement that I left out of my last post. Beyond being unplugged, one of the biggest highlights of my recent Mexico trip was finishing my yoga certification!!!

I taught my 25th class in a Mayan cave for a group of 10 incredible entrepreneurs . . . Geek Yoga at it’s absolute finest. After 75-minutes of sweating while staring at stalactites, we closed our practice with three rounds of Ohm, resonating beautifully from our seated position literally within the walls of the earth.

As I bowed forward to express my gratitude, I saw a flash of all my previous teachers and felt, in seconds, that they were passing a baton to me. I felt deeply supported, as though they were all welcoming me in to their community, giving me their blessing to step into my new shoes as a teacher so I could serve and help students transform just as they had done for me.

I haven’t always felt this way. I completed my yoga teacher training at White Lotus in October 2010. It wasn’t until January 2012 that I finally believed I was worthy and capable of teaching yoga.

Big goals are like that sometimes — they are so big that even if we are outwardly taking steps, our inner belief system hasn’t quite caught up. And yet, I find the longest goals to be most rewarding, particularly because they require such an internal transformation.

Everybody Starts Somewhere: Video + Article

The video below is from a recent speaking workshop called Platinum Presence (led by Cheryl Dolan) which I was fortunate to attend with highly inspiring friends like Pam Slim, Jonathan Fields, Willie Jackson, Nick Reese, Lewis Howes, Mike “Ambassador” Bruny, Charlie Gilkey, Derek Halpern and other incredible creatives. We were asked to speak extemporaneously for seven minutes about a topic we are passionate about.

The funny thing about this speech is that I delivered it the day before leaving for Mexico; all those fears were completely washed away by the time I returned home.

This speech is ruff and not rehearsed — but I’m sharing with you anyway, because the emotion behind it is real — and very relevant to any of you attempting something new. There’s also a mini two-minute seated yoga sequence at the beginning — I encourage you to follow along! 

Yoga Journal Article Submission

Bow Pose #2 (Dhanurasana): Acro Yoga with Mike Hrostoski

Below are my same thoughts in written form — this is from an article I recently pitched to Yoga Journal. 

Within the first ten minutes of teaching my own yoga class I became overwhelmed with a visceral appreciation for just how much skill all of my past and present teachers possessed. The dance of verbalizing every movement, breath and body position while delicately balancing demonstrating, adjusting, assisting, and holding the space. For the first time in six years of practicing yoga, I finally understood that teaching was much more than a hobby; it was a doorway to a lifetime of learning.

Much like children only start truly appreciating their parents after they’ve flown the nest, I gained an entirely new appreciation for my teachers once I found myself at the front of the room. For so long I had been a student, lost in my own world, hearing the teacher just enough to follow the class — certainly not “hearing” the multitude of considerations they were seamlessly weaving together.

It is from that place of deep admiration and gratitude that I make a humble request to all of the veteran teachers out there: let us newbies in. Even if you’re a little nervous about our lack of experience, give us a chance to find our way.

With articles like the recent (and controversial) New York Times piece by William Broad on how yoga can “wreck the body, ” it’s easy for new teachers to feel like they shouldn’t bother, lest they ruin their students for life.

Broad says, “Many teachers lack the deeper training necessary to recognize when students are headed toward injury.” While this may true, consider also that newer teachers are just as equipped at asking their students to listen to their bodies and to stop if something is causing pain or bodily harm.

Teaching yoga is a tradition that dates back thousands of years. Without new teachers to carry on the practice, we would have far fewer yogis benefiting from the wonderful marriage of mind, body and spirit. And yet, it can be incredibly intimidating to emerge as a new teacher among tens of thousands of gifted veterans worldwide.

But every one of those teachers started somewhere. Every teacher taught their first class, even if they are now teaching their five-hundredth. While not every teacher may have had nervous butterflies, sweaty palms and a fumbled-flow during their first few attempts, many did experience those growing pains.

In my past life on the Training & Development team at Google, I discovered a very handy learning model that I frequently refer back to when attempting a big goal or learning a new skill:

• Unconscious incompetence – You don’t know what you don’t know (ignorance is bliss)
• Conscious incompetence – The dip! You suddenly become aware of how much you have to learn. You might feel dumb, incompetent, frustrated or discouraged as you realize you need more skills, time or practice in order to move forward.
• Conscious competence – You’ve started to master the new skill, but you still have to actively think about whether you are doing it right.
• Unconscious competence – You don’t even have to think about it any more – the new skill comes naturally and/or finishing the goal becomes completely do-able. This is really the fun part, where you are flowing and “in the zone.”

Whenever one is learning something new, they will almost certainly hit a “dip” — the phase of conscious incompetence where they are fully aware of how much they don’t know, fumbling awkwardly through the task at hand, feeling like all they want to do is quit and give-up. The key is to keep going — to remember that, as cliche as it sounds, the only way out is through.

I completed my teacher training at White Lotus in Santa Barbara in 2010, under the tutelage of Ganga White and Tracey Rich. It wasn’t until January 2012 that I finally mustered up the courage to start teaching my own classes in New York City.

For months prior I would psych myself out of it, particularly after taking classes from the many brilliant teachers in New York. Why would anyone ever take class from me, when there is an abundance of more experienced teachers right outside their doorstep? And why should these more experienced teachers let me in to their community when they have so much more insight and experience?

But eventually, class by class, Sun A by Sun B, I started developing my “teacher legs,” feeling increasingly more confident in my ability to facilitate a great experience for my students, even if I was still new. And the teachers I encountered were gracious and helpful.

To the new teachers out there: give yourself a chance to succeed. Remember that everybody starts somewhere.

To the experienced teachers: know how much we admire and respect your knowledge and experience. If you cross paths with a newbie, let them in. Ask them how teaching is going, and maybe even if we have any questions. You have no idea how much we’ll appreciate it.

I am finally emerging from The Dip and finding a new home in the “conscious competence” phase. I have a feeling I’m going to be here for a while…if not a lifetime. That’s the beauty of life and big goals — we get to practice “beginner’s mind” every day, as a teacher and as a student, on and off the mat.

***

I’d love to hear in the comments:
In what area/s do you want to give yourself permission to be a beginner?

P.S. I’ll be doing a live video Q&A call hosted by The Young Entrepreneur Council at 8:30pm ET on February 22 — would love for you to join us!

View of one of Taninah's palapas (fab photo by Sean Ogle)

“We show up, burn brightly, live passionately, hold nothing back, and when the moment is over, when our work is done, we step back and let go.”

–Rolf Gates, Meditations from the Mat

Yoga at sunset on top of the water tower (By Sean Ogle)

I just got back from the most incredible week of my life…totally unplugged with 11 other entrepreneurs in a Mayan villa called Taninah, situated in the middle of a jungle near Playa del Carmen in Mexico. We slept in palapas at night under the stars, then woke up to the sound of birds chirping and ducks splashing in the pond. We ate three meals a day together cooked by an incredible staff, and laughed, played and had great conversations all day every day like we were kids again.

It’s funny that just before I left I wrote the post, What’s Your Happy Place? I found it. I found it in physical form (the resort had ziplines, a mini golf course, a game room, a treehouse, hammocks, and a waterslide in a cave) and in my spirit — I’ve never felt such a pure sense of joy, bliss and love for such a sustained amount of time.

This post won’t be a recap of my vacation – there are no words that would do the experience justice. I feel transformed beyond measure, and this is my attempt at maintaining it moving forward, and helping you find that same sense of aliveness in your own life.

My book is centered loosely upon the Wheel of Life (template here), an exercise where you can rate every area of your life on a scale of 1-10 (work, money, friends, family, home, organization, health, personal growth, relationships, fun & relaxation). While that exercise can help you design your life in every area, it doesn’t quite hit on the qualities that bring us alive within that life.

The areas (and accompanying Wheel of Aliveness template) below are based on my trip and are influenced heavily by Martha Beck’s latest book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World. I believe they can be applied to any person at any time, because they hit upon fundamental aspects of being fully human. If there are any areas that don’t resonate with you, feel free to replace them with ones that do.

12 Ways to Wake up, Come Alive and Find Your Bliss

As you read the list below, consider how each one is showing up in your own life (or not). On a scale of 1-10, how present and full is that element? How do you feel when you maximize each one? What would be possible in your life if you were to increase the areas that are lacking? Feel free to also use the shiny new template for this exercise.

• Movement/play – many of us sit at computers all day and continue staring at screens into the night. How can you incorporate more athletics and movement, even outside of the gym? Yoga in the rain, tossing a football and baseball around, and zip-lining (among many other activities) completely brought me back to my body this week. The owner, Marino, even set-up an obstacle course for us on the last day, and I almost peed my pants watching everyone else go through it! It feels great to sweat and release energy through play. See also: Sean Ogle’s The Importance of Play (about our trip)
• Dance & Music - you may not like dancing, but I believe that there is something incredibly powerful about connecting with music, feeling it in your bones, and letting yourself dance and be free. Sweating in a club, connecting with people around you, or just dancing by yourself when no one’s watching. See also: Where the Hell is Matt? (One of my all-time favorite YouTube videos — you can’t watch it and NOT smile)
• Nature – It was an incredible experience getting to immerse ourselves totally in a Mayan jungle, especially after coming from THE concrete jungle of New York City. A reminder about how powerful it is to be outside, play outside and rest outside. Go for walks, lay in the grass, sit on a bench and people watch. See also: Martha Beck’s Logging Off: The Power of Disconnection
• Water - I thought about combining this with nature, but it’s different. Water has a powerful effect on our bodies — whether it’s a pool, hot tub, bath tub, slip and slide, or even staring at a natural body of water like the ocean or a river. See also: Bon Iver’s incredible Holocene bonus video from his self-titled album, 20 Life Lessons I Learned on the Rogue River
• Community & Connection – there is something magical about sharing meals (3 a day), and finding people who inspire you to be the best, most authentic version of yourself. Consider the communities in your life: are they serving your most authentic self? Are they making your life better? During the trip we would come together for a few rounds of “Ohm” after every sporting event, even in the middle of a restaurant one day. Ohm is said to be the universal sound, and the beautiful harmony reminded all of us that we are connected and we are loved. See also: The Holstee Manifesto: This is Your Life.
• Laughter – laughter is one of the purest forms of joy. Find people who make you laugh, don’t take life too seriously, and let yourself be silly. See also: Top 10 Funniest YouTube Videos
• Learning & Creativity – this entails reading books, engaging in conversation, asking questions, giving yourself space to explore your creative side. Engage your mind, and just as you let your body play and be outdoors, allow your inner creativity to shine through freedom and flexibility. By creating such an incredible place, Marino taught us all to dream big, bigger and bigger still. Never give up on bringing your wildest dreams to fruition.  See also: Live for the Dip
• Challenge – get outside of your comfort zone, tackle big goals and big ideas, undertake projects that bring you alive. See also: Joseph Campbell on The Hero’s Journey
• Commitment – what matters to you? Commit to living authentically, commit to living in accordance with your core values, and commit to projects and people that carry significant meaning. See also: Big Difference by Willie Jackson, about the powerful conversation we had with Marino about the plight of the Mayans (much like Avatar) and his commitment to serving them.
• Gratitude & Positivity - it was amazing to be around a group of people who let all negativity roll right off their backs at any given moment. No sooner did someone state a fear or self-doubt than it was washed away by caring, positive encouragement. This is about maintaining a player mentality (as opposed to a victim role) in your own life, about reframing negative thoughts into positive incarnations, and about constantly reminding yourself of everything in life that you are grateful for, therefore giving it a chance to expand even further. See also: Be Thankful  and Zen and the Art of Happiness Book Notes
• Letting go – resting, relaxing, dropping any thoughts or worries that aren’t serving you, let small infractions in life roll of your back. My friend Mike from the trip uses the motto, “Zero F*cks” — as in, “I have zero f*cks to give” when something irritating happens, or even when going into a situation (like a night out with friends to focus on being carefree). He quickly got us to all adopt the phrase — making sure to clarify that Zero F*cks only applies to stuff that doesn’t matter, so that you can focus your attention on everything else that does. See also: Dancing with Demons and Finding the Light
• Light and love – sending love to yourself first and foremost, then to all others around you. One love. See also: Light, Love and Yoga Money and Expanding Happiness: on Bliss and Fear (with notes from my dad)

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments: What brings you alive?
What do you have room for more of in your life?

Modified pigeon pose at Taninah (HDR photo by Sean Ogle)

“It’s always darkest before the dawn…
And it’s hard to dance
With a Devil on your back
So shake it out…”

—Lyrics to Shake it Out by Florence & the Machine 

Yesterday, as I was transferred for the seventh time during a 15-minute phone call that can only be described as a customer service black hole, my blood started boiling. RAGE.

I’ve had a cold this week, so my normal be a friendly decent human being defenses were down. I hadn’t gone running or to yoga in days. I had a devil on my back (as the brilliant lyric above goes) and I had lost my happy place.

Origins of the Happy Place

After my sophomore year of college, I did a two-month travel study program in Europe. My roommate and I devised a method for dealing with frustration, long lines, angry people and other mood-zappers: go to the happy place.

Mine happened to be on an island with Vin Diesel, and she taught me how to say it in sign-language.

When something would go wrong, instead of reverting to RAGE or complete bitch-mode, she and I would look at each other and sign our happy places. “I’m on an island with Vin Diesel!” I’d mouth while giggling. It might be a complete fabrication, but it worked.

(Consider also Adam Sandler’s happy place from Happy Gilmore for a good chuckle/example…thanks Alex Dea!)

Shake it out. . .

These days, my happy place is my yoga mat. While it helps to have a place that actually exists, it’s certainly not required.

When I feel my patience grow thin or my good-mood resources deplete, I know it’s time to get out of the house and get moving. Fresh air, a walk or a run, and definitely a yoga class. My dad has a theory that unused adrenaline (which we start out with every morning) quickly turns toxic in our bodies if we don’t put it to use within 24 hours.

When you’re in a funk, you don’t always realize that it’s because you’ve neglected your happy place…but it’s never too late to go back. Or to imagine yourself there in vivid detail.

Just as negotiators suggest “going to the balcony” instead of reacting on the spot, the same applies for going to your happy place. The next time you find yourself sad, mad, frustrated or otherwise on a rapid downhill slide into toxic energy, conjur up a place that makes you smile.

What does it look like? Who is there with you? What are you doing? What imagined scenario (or real activity) is guaranteed to lift your spirits? It might even help to make a list or do a free-write so that you have something to come back to when you’re feeling less creative.

I’d love to hear in the comments: what is your happy place?
What person or place (or puppy!) makes you smile just thinking about it?

***

P.S. Two fun features elsewhere on the web today: My “Act as If” story is up on Positively Positive, and the most in-depth interview I’ve done in a while is posted at Idea Mensch. Head on over and check them out — both are great websites that I am honored to be on and look forward to exploring more!

P.P.S. Thank you so much for all of your enthusiasm and kind words about the Mint infographic — it’s been a blast seeing it spread around the Internet!

Click to head over to Mint and see the infographic in full!

Today is a VERY exciting day . . . I’m proud to introduce the newest member of the Life After College family!*

*Oh my . . .now I’m referring to projects as children. You know you’re hopelessly addicted to blogging when . . . 

In collaboration with Mint and Quicken, we’ve released an infographic today called “Your Roadmap to Life After College“ — an eye-candy CliffsNotes version of my book!

Our aim was to create something fun, interesting and useful, in a style that harkens back to the Choose Your Own Adventure books many of us loved as kids. The Roadmap to Life After College covers six major life areas: Home, Money, Career, Health, Social Life and Fun, with tips and statistics sprinkled throughout. A little virtual easter egg: If you look closely, you’ll notice that my dog Patches (may she rest in peace) is in the picture frame at the top

If you’re looking to take the roadmap even further, I encourage you to sign-up for my latest greatest Design Your Life course (inspired by the infographic) — six weeks to help you “stop spinning and start LIVING” in all the areas above. The best part? If you enroll, you get a friend in free. Accountability is sexy, baby! 

Whether you are nearing graduation, a few years out, or know someone approaching this major transition, we hope you enjoy the digital adventure on the Mint Blog!

That’s not it…

You can also purchase this infographic (reconfigured slightly) as a 18×24 poster, which I’m really stoked about. First official JBE merchandise outside of the book! I may be biased, but I think it would make a great gift for any soon-to-be-grads you know

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments here or on the Mint blog, and please share this with anyone and everyone who you think could benefit!

***

Make Sh*t Happen Doors are Open!

Thanks to the awesomeness that is AnyMeeting (h/t Sean Ogle), I was able to record today’s free Make Sh*t Happen Crash Course. View the recording* and set your biggest goals on fire for 2012! In a good way, of course

*If you can’t see the video and PPT, here’s the work-around from AnyMeeting: “Start playing the recordings in question and right click the area where the content is supposed to be playing. Press “Settings” on the small menu that appears and now a Adobe Flash Player Settings prompt window should pop up. Uncheck the “Enable hardware acceleration” box and close the prompt window. Refresh your browser a couple times and that should resolve the issue.” Sorry for the hassle! 

The full course is now open for enrollment, and I’m already in love with the early enrollees. It sold out in less than 24 hours last time, so make sure you get a jump on it if you know you’re interested.

Here’s what one of the participants, rockstar David Geier, had to say about his experience:

“I really knew very little about this course before I signed up. Someone I know tweeted Jenny’s blog post about leaving Google to pursue her dreams, and that post struck a chord with me. I realized that I have had dreams of new pursuits that were just that – dreams. But something about that post made me want to give the MSH course a shot. And I was shocked how great this course was for me, because everything about it is not at all like me (or my past me).

I remember very specifically how nervous I was typing my big goal into the response section, knowing that the other members of the course would soon read it. I had to open a bottle of really expensive wine I had been saving for a special occasion as I typed it. I hit enter with some fear, honestly. But then I read the other responses and I couldn’t get over how amazing everyone’s dreams and projects were. I felt like we were all starting an amazing journey.

Every step along the way – creating our support network, writing our vision statements, creating accountability, discussing our progress with other course members – made the journey more and more tangible. While I still have a long way to go to complete my goals, I am so much more confident that I can do it and that it will happen that it almost feels inevitable.

I can’t say enough how much Jenny and her course have helped me!”

—David G.

Cheers — to geeking out on infographics and to big goal swagger in 2012!