Learning, Living and Leading Successfully Every Day

Appointment or Engagement

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:36:00 +0000

Appointment or Engagement/Acquaintance or Alliance? They seem to be quite different yet most professionals go for the low-hanging fruit and put a limit on their time and even the connection with others.

We all know that it is important to differentiate yourself in today’s rapidly changing world. It may seem at this time that this is an unprecedented time of uncertainty where people are fearful, anxious, low trust, even angry… But you have a big presentation to make, it is now even more crucial to get that face time. So how can you relate to others in the most impactful and influential way…When someone is emotional especially now with the continual change present in the marketplace, you cannot relate to them logically regardless of how organized your facts and figures are – it’s like gas on fire. As the person continues to focus on their emotions, they grow and you should be ready for the potential of a volatile explosion if you don’t decide to relate differently….

Our gut reaction is to follow the old familiar and stay in our head, it’s safe and we all think we have the answers. You must start by creating a deep meaningful relationship with your clients where they feel valued and confident in your abilities. How should you begin valuing another? You must give them a voice…We all have a basic need to be heard, truly listened to. That may not be the introduction or meeting you have typically planned but that must be reinvented also. Ask them their story, refrain from telling them what they need. Offer your ear and you begin to build the bridge towards a value-add relationship. Once this type of relationship is established then they will look to you to fulfill needs they might have and trust your voice to guide them to make the right decisions.

You have now truly differentiated yourself from the competition. A Practice based on Relationships or a focus on motives, emotions, questions rather than Things and solutions/answers. All successful companies, advisors and salespersons know that once the relationship is established that bond kept healthy and meaningful is a better predictor for continued work with the client than any portfolio with the latest and greatest. Products and services will forever be revamped but you are the key to keeping that client alliance. Choosing to grow and maintain relationships will lead you to become a person who experiences success daily.

For more on Success Daily tools, visit http://www.surveconsulting.com/

It's All About the Experience - Meaningful Relationships = Value

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:17:00 +0000

When I am out and about on errands I don’t go into a store wondering what type of experience I am about to have but when I leave that will be paramount in my mind. The other day my son and I headed for, not regular Wal-Mart but Super Wal-Mart, to pick up some last minute project supplies and a little treat for our baby turtles. I found a space right away as the amount of parking is absurdly wonderful. Then upon entry I was greeted by a smiling face and a clean store, aah already starting to grin back at people I pass. We had a list to check off and a quick get away to make. We found our items quite quickly and I heard the dreaded “I have to go to the bathroom”. Oh, my well since I have to wait a moment, then I will go to the pharmacy section to pick up my favorite allergy medicine since I am running low. It took a minute for anyone to notice I was there although I am not certain why… So when the clerk came up I was beginning a downward spiral toward surly. In a curt tone I told her what I needed and she said no problem here you are. Hmmm she sounds nice… she then asked how I was doing and I proceeded to tell her I had just been hit in a car accident. She asked me how I was and told me she was glad I wasn’t hurt. Another plot clearly designed to win me over. But as I left to go to the real check-out counter I was again smiling. My son met me at the cashier and we began to discuss the how and what of his project. The cashier said “sweetheart, what kind of project are you working on?” He of course beamed, and replied “we are doing a county fair and my county is Rowan, I have to write a report, prepare tri-fold boards and design a game to play.” She then asked what grade he was in and he replied 4th grade. She said he must be pretty smart to do all that as she didn’t even recall a computer when she was in 4th grade. She wished us good luck on our project and we went towards the door. Now my son was smiling too. We were greeted again by someone that wished us a nice day and we had to agree it had been. The focus that day in Wal-Mart had been on people – I hope that is what people will say when contacting us.

You might say that is the exception not the norm and you are correct. It should be but many businesses have no idea “how they feel”. I can tell you that I will not only continue to go to that store but tell others about my experience. My only hope is that my view isn’t changed in the future and that they continue to win me over every time. So in conclusion, today do three things, first find out how your business feels when someone calls or clicks on your website. Secondly, check your email responses or direct messages, your voicemail even and see “how you feel” to others who contact you. Lastly, remember that you not only have a chance to win a new client/customer by providing them with a great experience but you have the same opportunity to lose them each time they interact with you or your firm. Bring value to your relationships and your firm by creating a wonderful experience in all your interactions.

Personal Development...Just What Is That?

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:59:00 +0000

Before you raise your hand and sign up for the latest in personal development, it might be helpful to discover just what that means....What is it? Getting better? Doing better? It's nothing more than creating a way of living that dramatically increases the control you have over your life, how you live it as well as how you experience the uncertainty that awaits you.

Also, it is a way of living that increases your ability to influence others in ways that they feel valued and that you are promoting the potential they have relative to their life purpose and way of living.

Here is the short list:

* Becoming more of the talents, strengths, and gifts that are uniquely yours.
* Finding the purpose/meaning that you were created to fulfill.
* Living successfully where success is defined as "being involved with and accomplishing that which results in the feelings that you want to experience most of the time"
* Creating a way of living that gives you more control over your life, how you live it, how you respond to the unpredictable, uncertain, and rapidly changing future that awaits you... less busy... less feeling behind... less out of control.
* Creating a way of living that gives you more control over how you can contribute to others in ways that promote their value and potential... your family... friends... co-workers... the community.

A Deadly Epidemic - Arrival Syndrome

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:45:00 +0000

The author, Charles Handy, is quoted as saying, "The world keeps changing, it is one of the paradoxes of success that the things and the ways which got you where you are, are seldom those that keep you there."

It's always worked before, you say...so why won't it work now?

I've always been out front with little effort...and now I'm in the pack and struggling. What's changed?

If you've entertained either of these questions, the answers are clear. Everything is changing with one exception, You. You're not changing, and as your world keeps changing, you are experiencing the problem with success. You've arrived, and the world and others are passing you by. As this disease takes hold, your old ways are becoming obsolete. So what is the prescription?

It’s a personal top-down/inside-out process that begins with creating thoughts that formulate beliefs which lead to new behaviors and actions. You are creating transformation and self-renewal.

There are four steps to get you back on the fast track..

1- Separate goal achievement from your definition of success
2- Clarify your purpose
3- View your life as instrument of learning
4- Choose healthy relationships as opposed to long-term ones
5- Don’t try to grow in isolation – become part of the change instead of observing.

Next week I will discuss the four steps in more detail.. in the meantime send me your most recent triumph or challenge and join our “Wall of Remarkable People” online at www.surveconsulting.com

Its Always Worked Before-Discussions around the need for change - Pt 2

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:44:00 +0000

Aah, so you’re back… Let’s think about the potential areas we might change in our lives…things like being more secure in my professional life, happier at work, happier with my marriage, more money in the bank, better sales results, become a vertical learner, listen to your children, enjoy the little things and so on.

Let’s take a look at how the dictionary defines transformation as "to change markedly in the form of, appearance of, nature of, function of, or condition of." Not really complex, or is it?

So how can you consciously transform or change?...and by the way transformation doesn't mean just changing what you do and doing new things. It also means doing same things differently, becoming more, and figuratively going where you've never been before. Choose to learn vertically. Discover your beliefs and experiences and how they have shaped you. Notice your patterns, decide to change your mindset and become centered. Establish a SURVE Partner and nurture healthy, impactful relationships. Become that remarkable you.

Send us your tales of impactful relationships and how accountability works to create your story…

Its Always Worked Before-Discussions around the need for change - Pt 1

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Mon, 11 May 2009 17:27:00 +0000

Okay I know you are doing okay, you have your strategies in your back pocket that you pull from and use each week. So really status quo is good and these things have always worked before…

Now why should you change and is it even important? Because the world we're in won't let you stay as you are or arrive. Did you know the world is changing faster than ever before?...and as Jack Welsh said, "if the change on the outside is greater than the change on the inside, the end is in sight". So, how can you tell if you have arrived? Well, for starters, any change to your current reality becomes a threat to you and you defend the way you have always done things or your status quo. Secondly, other people who are changing will feel like they're against you. And thirdly, you begin to feel frustrated and out of control as what once worked is no longer working.

Let’s think about this.…Outside/outer changes begins with inner change, not the other way around. Inner change begins with intentions and desires to "be different" versus "do" different... you can't sustain doing different without being different. So what needs to change about "how you be" to create the change you seek in your outside world?

Read next week about what exactly is that thing called transformation, what can I change and how…

Is Your Day Full of Struggle or Success?

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:02:00 +0000

Earlier today I was thinking about people who always seem to do well/glide through life with ease while others around them struggle and seem angry much of the time. For the most part, all these people experience life the same way and have very similar characteristics... skills... intelligence... capabilities... so what's the difference? Is it luck? Is it right place-right time for some and wrong place-wrong time for others?

I don't think so. I believe the differentiator is how people choose to think about and relate to what's happening to them. Here's the way life works. "How you choose to view and experience something is what it becomes." It's nothing more or less...

Let’s think about a discussion I had the other day…. A very successful salesperson shared with me the other day how management denied his request for a larger territory. The motive for the request was a desire for increased exposure and activity. The reaction by the salesperson was to say “they don’t get it, they want to control me, keep me down”....this was driven by the belief and thought that they (management) were against him and didn't want him to succeed more than he has already. In that this salesperson's income is more than his managers', these thoughts may have some validity. And, for sure, it reinforces the salesperson's view, but it does not add value to this extremely motivated, highly-skilled salesperson.

The important question is do these beliefs and thoughts contribute to or do they detract from this salesperson's ultimate success and happiness. I can hear you now. "But suppose it's true?" And my answer is, it doesn't make any difference.

The meaning of anything is the meaning you choose for it to be, and how you choose to relate to an experience is what it becomes. It seems that people who do well and project a positive attitude to match, have the ability view the meaning of their experiences in a way that not only serves them well but also contributes to their growth. Let’s think back on my original question: Are these beliefs and thoughts contributing to or detracting from the ultimate success and happiness of our salesperson? And if they are not, why does a person hang on to them? Let us know how you choose to relate to your life experiences.....

Getting Under Your Skin

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:25:00 +0000

Have you ever wondered why there are certain people who continually get under your skin, while there are others that energize you? What's the difference?

I've been giving this some thought, and I have observed that typically the people that aggravate you, are those people who have different beliefs and in turn a different value system.

I have observed people in various business organizations and find that most have someone who is a constant irritant. As I look more deeply into the relationships, I have observed the following examples: One particular professional has a strong belief system around the value of personal responsibility for example, while another employee they work with often is very careless, negligent and possibly even immature. Those two are like yin and yang and their different beliefs have the potential of becoming a frequent aggravation. In another instance, a business leader values resourcefulness, the ability to solve problems. Again, the employees in the organization that are unable to resolve problems in a way that matches the belief system of being resourceful prove to be a constant source of irritation for the leader.

Other examples could be those that are always prepared, early to every meeting and always the first with a response. Now that you are aware, what do you find is the source of your irritation and how will you manage your response going forward?… Request our weekly focus to help remind you of how to manage your mindseye, notice your past experiences and how they shape you and rediscover your purpose - Click Here..

Falling Without a Parachute...The Erosion of our Security

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:49:00 +0000

Deepak Chopra says, "The search for security is actually an attachment to certainty, to the known, and the known is the prison of our past conditioning."

Let’s think about all that's going on in the economy and the fact that the American citizen has lost almost 50% of their net worth. Are we focusing, as you might imagine, on all the financial security that has been eroded and the financial assets that have disappeared, or can we see that what's going on in the economy could be, at most, a blessing indicating that there are opportunities to change spending habits, contribute more to others and become more innovative.

In discussions with friends, those I work with and others within my sphere of influence, the focus seems to be on losses and the dramatic state of the nation. This has caused me to view this environment of loss and concern differently, to begin approaching the events of the day with a new mindset. It's actually creating energy for me, as I think about all the possibilities that will allow me to become more, be able to work with others, and to be able to accomplish things using a different approach.

The Power of Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:10:00 +0000

Do you believe you have the power to choose what any experience means? You definitely do. There is a wonderful quote by John Wooden - "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." This compliments one of SURVE's beliefs nicely -The Meaning of Any Experience or Event is the Meaning You Choose for It To Have. So this morning will you choose to feel calm for example and look for ways to experience that or do you want to feel joy at the world around you even if it's raining...With this knowledge in front of you, and the choice to accept it...what is today going to become for you? How do you want to feel and how will you make it the day you want it to be?

These and other Jimism's will appear frequently on this blog - subscribe to this or visit us on Twitter..

Okay I'm A Believer in Meaningful Coincidences..

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 02:05:00 +0000

Okay I am a believer..even when I attempt to ignore purpose-filled whispers they continue to come my way, insistent on breaking through. Last time I talked about meaningful coincidences that occur every day. Well thankfully, they keep on coming, let’s look at what happened this week….

What would your life be like if everyday your paid attention to all the whispers/meaningful coincidences that come your way? Remember, these are events or experiences that are normal everyday happenings that show up in ways that allow you to see more clearly the opportunities and possibilities that await you.

Let me begin with my day today. I started with low energy, having difficulty getting started, and feeling a little depressed. The first thing that drew my attention as I started my day in the office was a book I sometimes refer to... A well-worn page read, "The more we give for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life." -The Dalai Lama

I began to focus on the relationship opportunities I had right in front of me. I had to think “Wow”, this opened me up to the start of what was to be a phenomenal day. In fact the message on that page had begun the process of changing my outlook on the day. It gave me the momentum I needed and created the energy I was lacking.

I have found that these whispers happen continually… so you won’t be surprised that within a short time something else occurred to reinforce my new outlook. As I opened my e-mails, there was a message from someone I barely knew who was on a conference call that I conducted yesterday. The message was simply, thank you for helping us see what was right in front of us. Okay now I was smiling just a little and began to brainstorm all of the ways I could be creative that day.

The third coincidence, and by the way these all happened within 15 minutes, was an e-mail from my wife who was traveling. Her e-mail contained materials that she wanted me to review relative to a seminar series on leadership. As luck would have it my plan for the day had been to work on creating a educational series for business leaders in North Carolina. This reinforced my desire to move forward with the project that I had put on the backburner for quite some time.

As you and as I continue to go through our days, the importance of being aware and noticing the various life experiences that become instruments of learning is critical to living a life of fulfillment and impact. I wonder how many more of these whispers I will hear today? So the next time you run into someone you have been meaning to call or receive an email of appreciation when your mood has soured, know that this small blip on the scale has a major impact on your day. Comment and let me hear some of the whispers you have heard this week…

A Purpose-Filled Whisper or Just the Wind?

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:23:00 +0000

Whispers are what I define as meaningful coincidences. This is something that is not unusual, in fact, very common that occurs throughout your day. However, when you're really paying attention, these coincidences or whispers as I call them, are filled with opportunities and possibilities.

For instance, a couple of things have already happened to me today. First, as I was looking at the books that I have sitting on my desk, I noticed first the dust from a book untouched and secondly that at one time these books had great meaning for me. As I picked up the first one titled the Eye of the Storm, it fell open to a page that literally reminded me of an insight that I hold close to me heart and count as one of my core beliefs. That being… how you chose to relate to an experience is what it becomes, interesting, as this literally changed how I was relating to the day ahead.

The second coincidence came when I glanced at the morning paper on the kitchen counter. I tend not to look at the paper until I've had a few minutes to get coffee and think through the events planned for my day. But as I looked down and quickly flipped to the sports page, an ad jumped off the back page that said to me, pay attention. It detailed a business expo that was occurring here in my state in the coming weeks that could be an opportunity for our business and the new direction we are heading. Okay, two things in one day..my interest was peaked…

The third coincidence came when I saw an e-mail from my daughter-in-law dated two months ago that I don’t remember reading, but it was clear I had opened it. The e-mail was an invitation to join a networking site called Jigsaw. I forwarded this to one of my co-workers and her response was “Jim, Jigsaw has approximately 700,000 subscribers, while LinkedIn has over 30M.” Then, she began to share with me the benefits of LinkedIn or any other professional networking site: increased presence, networking opportunities, events calendar and a pool of potential staff. That too was something I had heard from her before but this time I heard her. The coincidence here is that I had unknowingly been resisting all the Linked-In opportunities I've seen for approximately a year now and at this moment I decided to notice. Since joining two very old relationships surfaced…surprise, surprise.

What have you missed today or maybe last week that could have changed your outlook or given you a new way of seeing same things differently or possibly broadened your span of influence. Post a comment and share….

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 14:31:00 +0000

THE LONG & WINDING ROAD TO THE CLOSED SALE -
Have you ever heard anyone say they don't like sales.. well they actually may be a hard-hitting salesman after all. When people realize that building relationships is selling they may find that it's not half bad and that promotion by asking questions therefore finding out what they need, is the key to client retention. Ask your clients if you can audit how they are using your products, services, etc..and spend the time making their office more efficient and productive. At that point you are better positioned to discuss your latest offerings and how they will benefit. You can do this if you own a software company, a real estate firm or a consulting practice - the core belief that you are listening and therefore interested in their success is still the same.

These ideas will take you further down that winding road to long-term relationships where not only you but your client receives maximum value.

This blog site for Success Magazine http://darrenhardy.success.com/2009/02 and look for the Coffee is for Closers post - discusses how our inner child knew how to sell at a very young age and is always a source for continually finding ways to help you be more impactful.

Obstacles to Growth

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:24:00 +0000

*Did you know that competing/comparing is a major blocker to organizational and individual growth?

*Did you know that the greatest obstacle to transformational change is the leader who initiates the change?

*Did you know the greatest potential for failure is immediately after achieving a goal or objective?

Visit to learn more about Leading, Learning and Living.

PERSONAL GROWTH=PROFESSIONAL GROWTH

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:28:00 +0000

Transforming your business requires not only a change in process but in your mindset. Expand your influence over your team by not only BEING an effective leader but also by DEMONSTRATING your own personal growth. Simply put, you model behavior in order to set your employees on the path to exceeding challenges while encouraging their personal fulfillment. -Influence equals First Being then Doing- Let SURVE work with you to move you & your firm to the next level - info@surveconsulting.com or 919-969-2522.

Tell Us - What Challenges Do You Face?

noreply@blogger.com (Your SURVE Team) — Tue, 20 May 2008 01:02:00 +0000

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