You want to have more sex?  You need sex appeal.
When you see a gorgeous woman that you want to have sex with, the first thing you notice is her image.  What she looks like, what she’s wearing.  What does this mean?  It means that when women look at you, they either see it or they don’t.  They either see themselves fucking you or not.  Here’s what you have to do.

First step:  Your Image (You have to be clean).

Hairstyle:  If you don’t know what looks good and constantly find yourself switching hairstyles then go see a stylist.  It will be worth the money.  And one more thing:  Always keep the back of your hair line shaped up.  Neck hair is unattractive.  Oh, and no mullets.

Facial hair:  Shave it off UNLESS you look like a 12 year old without it.  If you need the facial hair to look your age, make sure you keep it nicely trimmed.  No heavy beards. Keep it shaped up and keep it consistent, don’t change your beard style every other day.

Nose hair:  Trim it.  It should not be visible.  Most girls you talk to will be shorter than you so make sure you take note of that when you’re trimming.

Ear hair:  Get rid of it.  It’s gross and 99.9% of women will be turned off when they see it.

Eyebrows:  Don’t go crazy with your eyebrows.  You don’t want them too neat, it will make you look too pretty.  No woman can see herself being with or having sex with a man prettier than her.  Just make sure you don’t have a uni-brow, that’s all.

Second step:  Your Style
How is your wardrobe?  Do you get complimented on your fashion sense?  If not, you’re not wearing the right things.

Here’s a breakdown of fashion DOs and fashion DON’Ts.

T-shirts:
Do wear sleek looking tees from stores such as Express or BananaRepublic.
Don’t wear graphic tees where the image takes up the whole front or back of the shirt.  Don’t wear “funny” tees, no matter how funny you or your friends think they are.  And definitely do not wear Hanes or Fruit of the Loom undershirts, no matter how fit you are.

This is all for the sample portion, the full length version in my upcoming E-book “Learn to Flirt Fast!” details all the fashion dos and don’ts and includes more steps to increase your sex appeal.  There is also a ‘James Dean Analysis’ where I show you how you can have as much sex appeal as James Dean.

Make sure to look out for my E-Book which will be released in November.  And just to reiterate incase you missed the memo, it will be free of charge.

I am working on my first E-book, “Learn to Flirt Fast!”  This e-book is designed to help you pick up gorgeous women and have more sex as soon as possible.
I am really excited about this book and you should be too because,

The E-book will be FREE!

No catch, no bullshit.  Just me, Marlon Reed, your coach hooking you up with more advice and tips.  Now you can refer to me on your Kindle when you’re on the subway or the bus.  Or when you’re out at the bar, you can refer to me on your BlackBerry or iPhone.  I’ll be your on-the-go wingman.

I am providing sample excerpts from the book.  The excerpts are not the full length features that are in my E-book but they should give you an idea of what to expect.
Here are links for the samples:

Learn to Flirt Fast! The Eyes

Learn to Flirt Fast! Sex Appeal

The book will be released early November, and I will send out a press release through Facebook, Twitter as well as other social networking sites.

Your wingman,

Marlon Reed.

If you want to attract more women and thus have more sex, you need to do more flirting, particularly with the eyes.  Do the exercises I tell you, they will help you guaranteed.

First Step:  Make eye contact
The eyes are the windows to the soul.  You need to make eye contact, and lots of it. Make eye contact with women everywhere.  Practice when you’re walking down the street, or in school.  Start off with average looking women.  Just make eye contact with them (5-7 seconds long would suffice) without looking away.

Women will know you’re attracted to them and they can reciprocate and show you whether they find you attractive by gazing back at you.

Don’t be creepy!
Do NOT stare at a woman who is inches from you for 5 seconds straight.  You will make her feel very uncomfortable.  Instead, practice your eye contact on woman a considerable distance away, at least 10 feet.

Second Step:  Practice smiling with your eyes (Example below)
This is very important.  The best way to practice this is to smile in front of the mirror with your hand over your mouth and focusing on the shape of your eyes.   Try recreating that shape again without a smile on.  It takes A LOT of practice, so don’t be discouraged until you’ve done it consistently (5-10 minutes a day for at least 2 weeks).

You might not get it perfect but that’s okay!
You just want to be more presentable.  A faint smile with your eyes will still look more pleasing than a dead glance.

Here’s an article you can take a look at that might give you more insight on how to smile with your eyes.

What then?
After you practice for at least a week, start to look out for:  The Gaze of Intent

You will notice some women will reciprocate the eye contact and then glance down shortly after.  If less than 30 seconds after, she looks back at you again, she is guilty of the gaze of intent. This is a classic example of flirting behavior (one of many signs that she is attracted to you).  I mean, why else would she look back after a short amount of time (15-30 seconds)?

This is all for the sample portion, the full length version in my upcoming E-book “Learn to Flirt Fast!” will give you further advice for flirting with your eyes, including how to perfect your wink and use your eyebrows to express interest.

Make sure to look out for my E-Book which will be released in November.  And just to reiterate incase you missed the memo, it will be free of charge.

One overlooked aspect when learning to pick up women is not realizing that there are certain situations where you DO NOT want to approach women. If you go out to a bar on a Friday or a Saturday, you will bump into groups of women who are just hanging out. This is not what you want if you’re new to picking up women at bars. Instead, when starting out, try going out to a bar on a Monday or a Tuesday. You are more likely to find women who are there by themselves.

So now you’re at a bar and want to pick up a woman. Sit yourself down and get a drink. Look around and get familiar with the territory. You don’t have to look like you’re looking for someone specific, just look relaxed and confident. If there is a woman at the bar with an open seat next to her, sit next to her. You don’t have to ask if the seat is available or not. It will make you come off as being nervous. It’s safe to to assume that women who sit at the bar by themselves want somebody to talk to. http://marlonreed.com

Spend a few minutes just getting relaxed. Now it’s time to initiate conversation. Here’s an example of a basic ice breaker:

Observe the drink she’s having and try to guess what it is. You can say something like:

What’s that? A Vodka Cran?

Here are examples of more ice breakers you can use to pick up women at a bar. Just keep in mind that your questions should remain open-ended. If she’s not having a drink (or having water for example), or you don’t know your gin from your tonic, ask her for her opinion on something.

The most important thing to keep in mind when picking up women at bars is to talk with your eyes. You must make eye contact.

Important tips:

Perfect your wink

Learn to smile with your eyes

Use your eyebrows to show interest

These might seem stupid, and without practice they will probably come off as so, but you should be able to communicate these signals in a subtle manner that won’t make you come off as a creep.

See my new post on post-ice-breaking. You’ve Started a Conversation, Now What?

My best friend picks up women just as well if not better than I do but he cannot hold a relationship. He has no inner game at all. Being that I am his best friend, I know how he really is. He has a lot of insecurities. He doesn’t find himself attractive and he has no faith in himself. Whenever he wants to start something, he doubts himself, so much so that he never begins. Just recently, he wanted to start playing the guitar. I told him I can teach him a couple of things but he kept insisting he was too old to learn now. He never picked it up.

It’s not surprise that he cannot hold a relationship. I tell him this. Women want someone who has faith in himself. They want to be inspired. If the man has no faith in himself and is afraid of trying anything new, she will see right through that.

I’ll tell you what you exactly what I told my friend. Identify your positive qualities.

This is beyond important and yes it takes a while. It took ME a while. But it was worth the patience and effort. If you were to ask me to sum up myself in a couple of words I would quickly say: I am funny, smart, attractive, creative, good at everything I do, I learn quickly, very goal oriented and I am modest (You can love yourself and not be cocky.)

How would YOU sum yourself up in a couple of words?

If you paused to think that’s okay. That’s why you’re reading this article. Keep that question in mind, it will help you in the proceeding sections.

Before I had the inner game I do now, I would always ask my girlfriends what they admired about me. They would run down a list, “funny, intelligent, attractive.” Those were the big 3 that all my girlfriends noted. I never bought any of it. I thought they were saying that because they were my girlfriends, they wouldn’t be mean. That belief is wrong. Here’s how I fixed my mindset. I told my best friend these same exact things.

Things you MUST do to fix your inner game:

1. Write a list of what YOU feel your best qualities are. Let it be as long as possible.

2. On a separate sheet write a list of what YOU feel your worst qualities are. Be honest with yourself.

3. Without showing them either sheet, ask your friends what they think your best & worst qualities are. Tell them to be brutally honest.

3. Compare what they told you to the lists you compiled. Did they tell you qualities about yourself you didn’t think of?

Review. Just think about the information you gathered.

4. Acknowledge the good qualities. Stand in front of the mirror and say “you’re funny,” or “you’re attractive.” Whichever qualities came up, say them back to yourself. Internalize them. Live them. Do this everyday for 5 minutes and you will begin to believe it. You have to view yourself bigger than you currently are (see image to the right) because the way you currently view yourself is wrong.

5. Acknowledge the bad qualities and ask yourself, “what should I do?” More likely than not your friends said you need to boost your confidence, in which case you should proceed to step 4 again. However, everything else that they said should be taken with a grain of salt. In other words, don’t put too much emphasis on what they say. Your primary goal is to work on your positive qualities and you will see whatever negative qualities you have will dissolve.

6. Work out. Get physical. Jog every once in a while. Play a sport. At the very least, do some push ups every other day. You will look good and feel good about yourself. I work out not only to maintain a great physique. I work out because it helps me boost my confidence. You will naturally want to work out more after you begin seeing results.

The inner game is important not only for the dating world, but it’s important to live a happy life. Life is all about perception and fixing your inner game will help you adjust your lens. You will view the world in a better light.

You might be interested in reading my related article: Tips to Boost Your Confidence.

I was in 9th grade of High School.  I was dating, Sheila (a cute Filipino chick) for about 2 weeks.  For those two weeks, I kept shying out of the kiss.  She wanted me to initiate it (I knew this because when I would walk her home, we would wait on her corner for a good 10 minutes and she would stare at my lips).  I would always tell myself “today is the day” yet when we said goodbye, I would just go for the cheek.  Everyday was first kiss disaster for those two weeks.  During all of our conversations, I would have an internal dialogue would myself (”after she finishes this story, I am just going to pull her close and do it”).  What made it worse was how my friends would ask me “how was it?” and I would have to reply with “I didn’t do it yet.”

Looking back at it now, I know I psyched myself out.  I had read up on “The First Kiss” way too much back then.  It was a huge thing to me and I thought that if I didn’t get it right, I would lose my girlfriend and all her friends would laugh at me when they found out.  All the information I found on the internet said stuff like:

• The first kiss is important.  Keep your lips moist.  Carry chapstick.
• Stand up tall and make sure you’re not hunched over.
• Tilt your head a little and move in slowly.  Don’t move in all the way and force it on her, she will get turned off and dump you.

Bullshit.  All of that was bullshit.  The one thing that they should have said was how NATURALLY awkward the first kiss is.  It’s an awkwardness that you have to fight through.

Anyway, Sheila would take the bus to school every morning and it would stop about 4 blocks away from school.  I waited at the bus stop one morning and when she stepped off the bus we started making our way to school.  I didn’t say much on the walk there because I kept telling myself “you’re doing it now” and I didn’t want to distract myself from the goal.  Two blocks from school, I stopped at the corner with her hand in mine.  I moved in close and looked at her lips to signal the kiss.  I said nothing.  She looked back at my lips and I knew it was my best chance.  I moved my face close to hers and she reciprocated.  It was a little awkward because I tilted my face one way and she tilted hers the same way so I had switch (definitely not like the movies).  But eventually our lips locked and it felt great. I think we both sighed a big sigh of relief on the inside because surprisingly, the first kiss went really well.

Naturally, after lip locking the first time, we both looked at each other and moved in for another one.  And ironically, this is when it got a lot more awkward.  Our noses collided.  I smiled.  She laughed.  And giggled.  And snorted (a testament as to how the girl anticipates the awkwardness just as much as the guy does).  After she gathered her breath, we kissed again and made our way to school.

Awkward Kiss

Okay so that was the first kiss.  But there was more.  It was on to the first REAL kiss.  You know what I mean.  Yeah, the french kiss.  The tongue wrestling.  The Making out.  The stuff foreplay is made of.

After about a 3 days of lip kissing, I felt it was time to step it up a notch.  The first french kiss was more awkward than the nose collision incident.  She didn’t know I wanted to tongue her so when I went in for the kiss, I opened my mouth a little too much and engulfed her lips.  She giggled (thankfully she didn’t snort again).  We went to kiss again, and this time she opened her mouth too and our teeth grazed each other.  Don’t ask, I STILL can’t fathom that situation but it makes me laugh always.  When we finally touched tongues, the french kiss became the only kiss (of course we would add the lip kiss in as dessert here and there).

There was a phase where we were trying to figure out each others kissing rhythms.  Each person is different and it takes time to adjust to how the other one kisses. For example, being the dirtball, I would generally I move my tongue in too and she would giggle or be surprised.  Or she would swirl her tongue around mine when I am moving away from the kiss.  Eventually, we learned each others nuances about the kissing became progressively better.

The moral of the story is, your first kiss WILL be awkward. Anticipate that.  The girl knows it will be awkward too and that’s what makes it easier.  It’s something you both will experience so why not experience it now and together for that matter.

And if you’ve never kissed a girl but you know she has (either because she’s been in a relationship, or your friend let you borrow her) it’s okay.  Go ahead and kiss her.  Let her lead and just follow along.  If she asks you ‘Have you ever kissed anyone?’ BE HONEST.  If you show her your honesty in that situation, she will find it endearing.  Trust me.

Besides, your first kiss does not say much.  Girls know that there is a rhythm to kissing and they know that it takes a little time to get to know someone’s rhythm.  They will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Now gather your nerves and jump over the hurdle.  You’ll love it.

4. Keep up with the latest trends. It’s not necessary to follow all the trends if you want to be stylish but don’t be completely out of the loop. For example, if you’re wearing a denim jacket, stop because it just isn’t stylish. It’s actually pretty corny.

3. Visit a barber/hair stylist regularly. Preferably every four weeks to make sure you have a clean and consistent look. If a woman notices that you take the time out consistently to look good, she will really appreciate that. This will also give her the notion that you manage your time well.

2. Have a signature scent. Get yourself a decent cologne. Pay the price. Women use scent to judge if they would have chemistry with you. I will post some colognes you should purchase which will have the women crawling on you.

1. Have sleek and clean looking wardrobes. Make sure you have at least 3 clean dress shirts (black and white dress shirts are essential). Have 2 clean pairs of denim and at least one pair of slacks. Your clothes should be ironed at all times. You don’t have to prepare your outfits the night before just as long as they’re well pressed. A wrinkled button up will turn a woman off.

AskMen has more tips on how to be stylish.

Make sure you have a full sound; no scratchiness.  Try to speak in a lower range.  You can practice this by laying flat on your back and speaking out.  This is your chest voice and this is the voice you want to speak with at all times.  Here are some tips on deepening your voice.

Back to flirting with a phone operator.  First of all, you need a leverage statement.  This is a statement you can use that relates you and the phone operator.  Once you have this, you can use it as leverage for more flirting. These statements are simple, and ones you might already be using. Here are some examples:

• You have a nice voice
• You’re really sweet
• What would I do without you?

You can use multiple statements. Use one at the beginning and come back to it to make the flirting more obvious and interesting.

Learning to use leverage statements takes practice, as do most aspects of flirting.

Here’s a practical example of my own. This happened recently with an Armani Exchange customer support rep. I’ll interject flirting tips.

Rep: Thank you for calling Armani, I am Amber, How can I help you today?

Me: Wow, outta all the customer service reps I’ve talked to, you definitely have the nicest voice.

This is the leverage statement. This is what I leveraged off to flirt with her throughout the conversation.

Rep: Aww, thank you!

Me: I am Marlon by the way and I had a question about one of my orders

Rep: Hi Marlon, what’s your question?

Me: Well, I wanna double check if my order was shipped and I need you to tell me that it has with that you pretty voice of yours

If it wasn’t for the leverage statement, this would come off as awkward.

Repr: (giggles) Okay well let me try to see what I can do, can you just give me your order # and the last four of the credit card you purchased the items on?

(elevator music)

Rep: Thank you for holding Marlon, I have went and double checked the order and..

Me: (I cut her off) Tell me good news sweetie.

The significance of “sweetie” is heightened now because she knows I’m flirting with her.

Rep: Okay, well your order was actually not shipped but I went ahead and placed a first class shipment on it.

Me: Just for me? You shouldn’t have!

I was speaking with confidence because I anticipated what she will say next.

Rep: (laughs) Yes Marlon, just for you

I knew she would say this because I’ve flirted with her enough to know she’d flirt back.

Me: Okay, I appreciate that.  By the way, you have my number there.  You know I’d love to hear your voice again.

The leverage statement allowed me to ask her for her number.

Rep: (giggles) You’ll definitely hear my voice again Marlon.

Me: Thank you Amber.  Talk to you later.

Rep: No problem Marlon, talk to you soon.

Prepare a leverage statement before you call.  The phone is also a good way to practice for those who cannot, or are too shy to do so face to face. Even if you don’t intend on going out with her or getting her number, just flirting back and forth alone will build up your skill and confidence.

]]> http://marlonreed.com/how-to-flirt-with-a-phone-operator/feed 1 http://marlonreed.com/how-to-flirt-with-a-phone-operator http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LearnToFlirt/~3/FYo1Zhccn6o/how-to-break-up-with-a-girl http://marlonreed.com/how-to-break-up-with-a-girl#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:09:35 +0000 Marlon Reed http://www.marlonreed.com/?p=200 Breaking up with a girl is difficult but no matter what reason you have to end the relationship, at the end of the day, it has to happen.

First off, you have to realize that there is only one way to break up with her, in person.

It helps to think of girlfriends as just best friends that you have sex with.  There is a comfort level between you so you want to make sure you honor that. If you break up with a girl via email, text or on the phone, you might sacrifice that comfort level and jeopardize what I call the holy trinity:

Connections, Networking and Booty calls.

If you break up with the girl on bad terms, you’ll lose all of the connections to her hot girlfriends,  You’ll lose the networking opportunities which may potentially propel your career path and of course, you’ll lose the chance to call your ex on a random day for some booty.

The existence of the comfort level allows these goodies to exist even after the break up so make sure you break up with her on good terms.

Now then, let’s go over how to actually break up with the girl.  Before you start, you must have a good setup statement (also referred to as the break up line).  The line that’s always worked for me when breaking up with a girl:

“It’s just not the same.”

Unlike men, females are not oblivious to reading signs. They know when things are shaky in a relationship. When you tell them, “it’s just not the same,” they usually see it coming. This is why it’s good to use this line. You will be the douchebag heart breaker but at least you’ll still be the honest and genuine you that she’s adored.

This set up statement will allow you to personalize the break up and conform it to the contours of your relationship.

Most likely she will say, “What do you mean?”  From here you can say anything that reflects what’s been going on.

Here are example reasons to use to break up with a girl following the set up statement:

1. I’ve been having a lot of family problems (substitute family problems with: work, school) lately.  And with the shakiness we’ve been having, it’s just a lot of pressure on me.
2. I am focused on too many other aspects of my life to be fully dedicated to you.  If she asks ‘Other aspects like what?’ You can say work, goals, school or family.
3. Physically we’re on the same page but emotionally I don’t think we are.  Right now is just not the right time for me.  Especially with work (substitute work with:  life goals, school, family) in the way.

Note:
Never, under any circumstances, should you use this set up statement to break up with a girl;

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

It’s too overused and the girl will know you’re just saying what you have to say to escape from her chains.  Here is a list of top 10 set up statements you can use to break up with a girl.  Although I don’t agree with all of them, I think they’re better than “it’s not you, it’s me.”

If you use the set up statement then you are in the clear to be genuine and honest. This will allow you to break up with a girl and maintain the sex, connection and networking opportunties.

My friends approach women any time, any place, and then wonder why they get rejected.

There are certain situations in which you shouldn’t approach women. They aren’t all out and about just because they’re lonely or they’re looking for someone. Here are situations where you shouldn’t approach women.

If she is intently reading her newspaper or book

She is too fascinated by the text to give you attention. You’ll be annoying her so don’t even try to approach her.

If she is on her cell phone

If you approach the woman when she’s on her cell phone, you’ll be ignored. If she says anything to you, you would have gotten lucky.

If she is upset or crying

She’ll know you’re fishing for ass so don’t bother. If you’re genuinely concerned for her that’s one thing but don’t expect digits.

If she looks pissed off

She will take her anger out on you, so save it for another hottie.

If she is wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses

Most women would never wear these things outside. This is a clear signal of when you should not approach her. She’s probably running out to the super market for a snack.

If she is with her co-workers

Most women would not flirt in front of coworkers. Approach the woman and she will blow you off (not a BJ).

Remember, when approaching women you want to maximize your chances. Don’t ruin your ego by approaching women at the worst times.