On the one hand, this is good because it enables me to critique my own writing and (hopefully) improve it continually. 

But, it also makes my experience of listening to music rather…..challenging.  It is nearly impossible for me to listen to a song without analyzing the songwriting, the production quality (if I’m listening to a recording), and the performance of the singer and musicians.  Being able to analyze a song deeply is really cool when I hear music that I like.  But, the truth is that when I hear most music, I analyze it and am pretty bummed about what I hear.

In fact, I really get a bee in my bonnet about it. For example, there is band that is popular right now (which shall remain nameless) that I get super upset about.  They make really beautiful music, so beautiful that I really want to like it and be able to listen to it, even learn from it.  But the lyrics are so completely disappointing to me, that listening to them actually makes me angry.  I’m all, “This could be so amazing, but these lyrics are ruining it!  It’s like they didn’t even try! Such a tragedy!”  (Can anyone say “drama queen”?) Unfortunately, stuff like that gets to me a lot, and there are periods where I don’t listen to music at all.  It just upsets me too much and I need a break.

But then, every once in a while, I hear something so beautiful, so well-written, so evocative, that I find myself falling in love with music all over again.  I feel like a teenager in love for the first time---I can’t stop listening to it, thinking about it, daydreaming about it. I get chills, goosebumps, butterflies in my stomach.

The other night I was driving and heard a song that gave me faith in music again.  It made me want to write again; to write the best songs I possibly can. It also made me want to be a better person, to strive, to communicate, to feel more.  Now THAT is what music should do!

Music is so subjective that I won’t even mention what song it was, or what kind of music I like.  We’re all entitled to our own opinions, and actually that’s one of the best things about music---everyone can find what they love and derive inspiration from it.

But, my own inner drama with music rages on.  It is an emotional roller coaster, but I guess I can deal with that, because it shows how much I really love music.  I am just very sensitive to it, almost protective about it.  (We’re all entitled to a few things we’re a little irrational about, right?) And, the highs and exhilaration I get from listening to those few songs that I love, more than make up for the more frequent disappointments. 

What is your experience of listening to music?

What does your favorite music inspire in you?

In her wonderful book, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, Julia Cameron talks about the importance of taking your inner artist on artist dates:  times when you do things that bring you joy and inspiration. 

Yesterday I did just that and I went to The Getty Center, an art museum perched atop the hills above Los Angeles.  It feels like a serene shelter in the eye of the storm, like a beautiful tree house where you can go to get away from the heat and grime of the city. 



The architecture alone is beautiful, elegant and worth the visit, but keep exploring and you will find unbelievably beautiful gardens there, too:

Being there made me think about meditation.  When I meditate I go to a place inside myself that is calm and peaceful, and going to the Getty felt like a material manifestation of that process.

I looked at paintings, bronze sculpture, and photography.  I loved looking at each piece and thinking about the artist that made them, spending countless hours pouring their energy, devotion, and love into their work.  Doing this always gives me a profound appreciation for the human spirit, and it makes me want to write songs, write books, paint.

The photography exhibit I saw featured people in the 1950s who worked in “small trades”.  Seeing each person, their pride in their work, the way they related to the situation of being photographed, was like getting a glimpse into their personal psychology.  It made me admire each of them and want to coach them so I could learn more about their lives, their dreams. 

Some of the paintings I saw showed artists’ efforts to enhance people’s spiritual experiences by depicting various scenes from scripture.  It is awe-inspiring to see what people can create when they feel love and devotion for something.   It makes me wonder what more is possible for my work, and the work of the artists I know.

There are worlds of complexity, emotion, and beauty in each piece of artwork. Whenever I spend a day at an art museum, it refreshes my spirit and inspires me.  I really should go more often.

What refreshes your spirit and inspires you?

What is your experience of viewing works of art?

Now when you sign up to be a part of my community, you’ll receive my free gift to you: a trio of tools to get you inspired and energized!  These tools include:

1)    A download of one of my most popular songs, “Little By Little”

2)    My new e-book, “20 Powerful Ways To Bring Meaning & Inspiration Into Your Life”

3)    A subscription to my e-zine, “The Guide Inside”, with tools to help you live from the wisest part of you

These tools will give new subscribers a good sense for what I do and how my work can be of help to you in your life.

I call it signing up for my “community” because the content I share and the interactions we have are personal.  For example, since I started offering these tools (just last week), I’ve already been receiving messages from people sharing how the tools have helped them and how they’ve been using them in their lives.  I love hearing from people, and having these kind of exchanges is the reason I have a blog and an e-zine.  It is such a blessing to have the chance to share coaching/ creative concepts, questions, and tools with you, and to learn together through the experiences we share with one another. 

So, sign up today so you can be a part of a community of people who care about living meaningful lives and making the world a better place (just look at the upper right corner of this page for the sign up form).  I look forward to our connection!

I’m lucky to be leaving today for a weekend at Big Bear Lake, CA with my husband. 

I’ve never been there before, but I’ve heard wonderful things and can’t wait to see all the natural beauty there.  Being around mountains, forests, oceans, and lakes always gives me a renewed perspective on my life.

My favorite vacations are the ones where I don’t have to “do” anything except experience my surroundings and be with my family.  When I go on vacation it always takes me a while to switch out of work mode into relaxation mode.  I find myself thinking, “Did I make that phone call?  Should I have done more on that project before leaving?”, and on and on.

It used to take me a long time to switch off my worries, but I’ve learned how to calm them much more quickly now.  Practicing meditation has allowed me to build my skills around noticing my worries, but not getting engaged with them.  It is interesting how just meditating for a few minutes a day can dramatically improve one’s ability to focus and be present in the moment.

My goal for this vacation is to call on those meditation skills, and to really enjoy each moment of this experience.  When I’m able to do that, I truly feel relaxed, grateful, and open to the gifts of each moment.

What are vacations like for you?

What helps you deal with your worries?

What role does meditation play in your life?

We’re human, and so we all mess up.  But, the more we can learn to be aware of and learn from our emotions, the more we can have healthier, more compassionate interactions with others.  This can actually serve to decrease our stress level and can help our relationships be happier and longer-lasting.

So, what’s the trick to doing this?  It’s actually pretty simple, but it takes practice, commitment, and some training of the people around you. 

First, practice being aware of how you are feeling throughout the day.  If you notice yourself feeling frustrated, angry, worried, or insecure, take a moment to ask yourself where that feeling is coming from.  Maybe someone said something to you that brought up an insecurity of yours.  Maybe something happened at work to make you feel worried about your future employment there.  Maybe you messed up and you feel bad about it. 

Once you are aware of where the feeling is coming from, it is easier to differentiate between your own issues and feelings, and the things others are saying and doing.   

For example, let’s say you are feeling sensitive about money and your spouse mentions something about going on a vacation with you.   When he says this, you feel your blood pressure rise because you are already worried about money and he is talking about spending money.  But, if you can take a moment to realize that your own insecurities are one issue, and the fact that he’d like to spend more time with you is another, you may have an easier time responding to him in a calm manner.  You might say something like, “I’d love to go on a vacation with you.  Spending time with you is my favorite thing.  But I’m worried about money.  Can we talk about it?”  (This is much better than responding in the heat of the moment with, “How can you think about vacationing at a time like this?  Aren’t you worried at ALL about our finances?!”)

Now, it may be that you don’t know where your strong feelings are coming from; you just know that you feel them.  If this happens in the above scenario, you may feel anxious or angry when your spouse mentions wanting to vacation with you, and you may not know why you feel that way.  In that case, one thing you can do is to say, “I’m not sure why, but when you said that just now I found myself feeling angry.  Can you help me figure out what’s going on with me?”  Again, this is a much more connective and easeful response than just lashing out.  To figure out what’s going on with you, your spouse/friend could ask you questions like, “When did you start feeling this way?” or “What do you think is going on?”  The key is to stay in a compassionate and curious place with each other.

You can even “train” your spouse/ friend/ family member in on this new approach to communication.  Share this blog entry with them and talk about how you might use this approach together.

Sometimes we need to do some more self-work before we're ready to use some of the techniques I mentioned here.  For example, you may feel stuck in your negative feelings, or you may find yourself feeling very skeptical of the above ideas.  If you are in that position, coaching can help.

                                                    

In order to simplify, I’m going through all of our accumulated things and keeping only those things that are really necessary.  I’m finding that very few things are actually necessary.  And when you think about it, most people around the world live in small places with very few things.  Unfortunately, it can become very easy to accumulate things and to think we need them. 

I find that accumulating things not only takes our resources away from more important causes, it also gives us more stuff that we have to spend time “managing”.   This can lead to a waste of our precious time, energy, and material resources.

In a world where there are countless people in every neighborhood that need help, it seems tragic to spend time and money on unnecessary “stuff”.  We really only get one chance to make our time on earth count, so it makes sense to me to constantly challenge ourselves to use our time and resources in ways that will help our families and communities.

For example, instead of pouring my time into shopping and building a collection of objects, I could spend time building a relationship with someone in my community who is lonely and needs friendship.  That person, in turn, could help someone else in need once their emotional resources feel a bit more filled.  Along the same lines, I can choose to live in a smaller place in order to spend less time and money on house payments and maintenance, and more time in the community helping to nurture children in need and do other community building activities. 

Of course my choices aren’t right for everyone.   Some people may get a lot of peace and connection through, for example, doing yard maintenance or collecting something.   And that is very important!  I totally don’t mean to knock those things, and in fact I believe we all need things that bring us peace and comfort so that we can be of service to others. 

Instead, I’m just putting out there a few examples to show the kind of thinking that I’m finding helpful in my life: to really examine my finite resources and use them the best way I can.  I’m sure it is something I will continue learning about and that may change as I go through various life stages.

Here are some questions to think about:

How am I using my time, energy, and material resources?

• What causes matter most to me?
• How much of my resources could I be spending on the things that are most important to me?
• When I die, what will I have wanted to do in my time here on earth?
  

(Getting clear on what is most important to you and how you want to live your life are topics covered in greater depth in my latest book and companion album.)

Consulting with various professionals is an awesome idea and I highly recommend that you explore your options, find reputable people, and reach out for help when needed.

But, I become concerned when people start getting almost addicted to getting advice from other people.  In moderation, advice and assistance are very valuable and healthy.

But in the end, I believe that YOU are the only person who can really examine what’s going on in your life, measure what others have told you, and make the decisions that are right for you.  If we develop a pattern of looking to others to give us advice and answers, we can become confused, unfocused, and it can even make us doubt our own abilities to take care of ourselves. 

I think the best professionals are those that work with you to help you hone your ability to take care of yourself and navigate your life from the wisest, healthiest part of you.  As a coach, my goal is to help my clients be able to do all these things on their own.  If I sense that someone may be feeling dependent on me or is looking to me for answers, I always address it and help them look inward again.

I believe that we’ve each been created with the capacity to learn and grow, and we each have our own unique path to navigate.  In fact, it is a precious gift to have our own unique path to navigate, our own unique mistakes to make, and lessons to learn.  Constantly looking outside ourselves for answers can actually take us off that path.  It brings to mind this quote from Billy Wilder:

“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's.”

I’m concerned about the degree to which our culture encourages us to look outside for answers.  I think it leads to a habit of looking for quick and easy answers, and takes us away from the reflective attitude that is needed to live the most meaningful live we can live.  For me, prayer, meditation, and reflection (coupled with an attitude of humility and compassion) are my strongest sources of guidance.  Here are a couple of passages from the Baha’i Writings on this topic that really inspire me:

“Thou art My lamp and My light is in thee.  Get thou from it thy radiance and seek none other than Me.  For I have created thee rich and have bountifully shed My favor upon thee.” (Baha’u’llah)

“The best beloved of all things in My sight is Justice….By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor.  Ponder this in thy heart; how it behooveth thee to be.  Verily justice is My gift to thee and the sign of My loving-kindness. Set it then before thine eyes.” (Baha’u’llah)

• What inspires and guides you in your life?
• Where do you need to turn inward to find answers in your life?

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As a creative person, one has to dig deep to create something new, have the courage to share it with others, and work through creative blocks.  As a business owner, there are A LOT of things to learn and take care of, and that can be overwhelming in itself.

I was recently chatting with a friend who is in the process of starting her own business.  We talked about how it is easy to sometimes feel like you’re not making progress because it takes so much time and effort to get to the “end product”.  For example, as a music artist, it may take years for me to go from creative idea to completed album, with lots of challenges, mistakes, and setbacks along the way.  Once you get to the state of completion, it is an awesome feeling, but it takes a while to get there.  And then once you “finish” the album, you aren’t really done.  Next is the whole project of marketing your product, and guess who gets to do that?  YOU!

So, it can be overwhelming.  I’ve learned that it is crucial to become your own champion and to learn to celebrate all your little victories along the way.  So, when I finish a song idea, I have learned to make a big deal about it---tell my husband I did it and that it’s a big deal, take myself out for a treat, remind myself that I am making progress. 

I make a point to do this with my friends and my clients, too.  For example, the other night I was talking with a friend and fellow business owner.  She mentioned in passing that she’d created a template for a new product.  Then, she casually went on as if it weren’t a big thing.  So, I made a point to stop her and say, “Congratulations!!  That is awesome!  What a big accomplishment.  I know how much time and energy went into that.”  She paused and said, “Yeah, you know you are right.”  Then she started talking about something else right away, and coach that I am, I tried to keep her in the place of celebrating herself a little longer.  I was all, “Just a sec.  I just want to acknowledge again how awesome you are doing with your business.  Every time I see you, you’ve learned something new and made more progress.  That is so great!”

We work so hard, and then don’t get a chance to feel completion or acknowledgment.  That is, we don’t get the chance unless we make a point to acknowledge ourselves and each other. 

And celebrating our accomplishments doesn’t just apply to creative people, or people that own their own businesses.  It applies to all of us---whether we are home devotedly raising our children (the hardest job of all!), working in a company where we don’t feel acknowledged, or are in limbo---we all need to acknowledge ourselves for trying hard and for making progress, even if that progress seems small.  We are creatures that operate best when given compassion and encouragement.  It doesn’t make us selfish or arrogant to receive them, it just makes us more nourished and more effective.

In my book, I have a special section at the end of each chapter to acknowledge you for your insights and growth.  My hope is that my readers will go on to regularly acknowledge and celebrate themselves. 

So…..

• What do you need to celebrate  about yourself?
• What are some new or difficult things you’ve been trying lately?
• Who in your life could really use some acknowledgment and encouragement?
• What will you do to celebrate?
• WHEN will you do it? (Being specific helps make it more likely to happen).

"To send light into the darkness of men's hearts - such is the duty of the artist."

As an artist, I really resonate with this idea in a couple of ways.  One way I interpret the idea of “sending light into the darkness of men’s hearts” is to bring new insights to people.  Like bringing a flashlight into a dark space one needs to navigate, artists’ work can help people see things in new ways.  Most of us can remember a time when we listened to a song or saw a movie, and it helped us understand something about ourselves in a new way.  The insights we gained may have even helped us make key changes in our lives.  What an honor for an artist to be  a part of such a sacred process!

• What artists have had the greatest effect on you?
• Why do you think they had such a great effect?
• If you are an artist, how do you view your role in the world?

This weekend I saw the new movie based on the book, The Time Traveler's Wife.  I thought it was very beautiful and it got me thinking a lot about enduring, long-term relationships. 

The story is about a man who has to travel through time (he has no control over it), jumping back and forth from one age and time to the next.  And it is about his wife who must get very used to sudden good-byes and long times apart, never knowing when she will see him again.

My favorite part of the movie was seeing how their love and relationship endured these hardships.  I especially admired the fortitude and patience the wife character displayed in the face of uncertainty, pain, and unexpected cirumstances. 

Now, none of us actually have to deal with time travel in our relationships (thank goodness), but all long-term relationships do have to endure times that are uncertain, times that are uncomfortable or painful, and times that are completely unexpected. 

For example, there are times when one partner goes through a phase or an experience that leaves them relatively emotionally unavailable to the other partner.  At times like these, the other partner sometimes needs to learn to give his or her partner the space and time to figure things out.  To allow that space requires patience and it also calls on one’s ability to meet one’s needs for connection and interest in healthy alternative ways.  I find that couples in which both people don’t have the ability to do this (to spend more time with friends or have one’s own interests in times when the other partner needs space) often have more problems.  Making sure that both people in a relationship have their own interests and friends, and that they both have things they tap into for strength can be a wonderful way to strengthen a relationship.

There are also times in relationships when life takes an unexpected turn and we have to adjust accordingly.  Maybe something we really want doesn’t occur, or maybe someone gets an illness or an injury.  Sometimes things can be helped to a certain degree, but sometimes a difficult circumstance doesn’t change, and instead we find ourselves needing to adjust to a new way of life.  If approached with a spiritual perspective, these challenges in life can actually strengthen and deepen a relationship.  If not approached in this way, challenges can tear people apart.  I find that couples who can develop an ongoing practice of looking at challenges as opportunities for growth, and who can work to solve problems together, are much better able to deal with hardships as they arise.  Moreover, they’re better able to find joy and connection even in the toughest times.

I am captivated by the idea of love enduring through all, and I deeply admire the people who work to make their relationships last and flourish. It is something I often write songs about.  On my first solo album, for example, there are two songs in 
particular that explore the idea of a deep, enduring love: "To The Sea" and "Whisper".  You can get those songs here.  They can help you meditate on the ideas in this post.

And to continue the exploration, here are some questions to think about related to this post:

• How can you strengthen your relationship?
  
• How can you support one another in having strong friendships and interests?
  
• How can you help one another look at opportunities for growth in your life together? 
• If you are in the process of looking for a partner, how can you get to know him or her in a way that will allow you to learn about his or her character, qualities, and ability to be your partner through good times and bad?

Often, this is because of how I am approaching things.  It may be that I’m taking on too much responsibility for things that aren’t really up to me.  It may be that I’m putting too much pressure on myself to get things done quickly or in a certain way, rather than letting things unfold as they need to.  Or it may be that I’ve gotten into a habit of thinking negatively about myself or my current situation.  Noticing what is going on inside, and striving to set things on a healthy internal path helps me feel more energy and motivation again.  And, it helps me get that spark back!

When you are feeling burned out, what helps you to heal and re-focus?

Where are you feeling burned out in your life?

What do you need that you aren’t getting?

What are the steps to meet those needs?

As an artist, I can identify somewhat with the experience of pregnancy.  I often find myself incubating an idea and bringing it into this world as a song.  It has gotten me thinking about how we are all “pregnant” (so to speak) with something at all times---a new idea, an emotion, a concept, a dream.  At any moment, we can ask ourselves what is coming into being inside of us.  Here are some questions to help us think about this theme.

• What is coming to life inside of you?

• What are you “incubating” right now, that will come into being fully at a later time?

• Where are you in your process with this “pregnancy”?

• What help, if any, would you like to have in bringing your idea or dream into being?
  
  

I also find that because I’m excited about some things that are coming down the road for me, I’m often thinking about the future, rather than being in the present moment.  Today, for example, is a gorgeous summer day, and yet I haven’t been noticing it most of the day. In fact, the day has been feeling really long.  I find myself feeling like I wish things would just hurry up and happen right now! 

All of this makes the challenge of living in the present moment a little tougher.  But, it is an excellent *opportunity* to cultivate mindfulness, be present, appreciate each moment, and trust that all will unfold as it needs to.  My morning meditation and prayer, as well as walking and other exercise have been great allies in this process.  Taking mini-meditation moments throughout the day has helped, too.  I just take a couple minutes, take some deep breaths, and practice noticing what is going on right now around me, and checking in with myself.

So, how are things going with your inner life?

How peaceful do you feel inside these days?

What helps you live in the moment?

Why is this important for your life?

Here are some photos of the participants working on the exercises:

Here are a few of me in action J :

Thanks so much to everyone who came to the show!  It was great meeting you and I look forward to keeping in touch.  Thanks also for the lovely feedback!  Here are what some of the participants had to say (all quotes shared with permission):

“This was very inspiring and uplifting!  I will now make daily efforts to live my life in accordance with its meaning.” –Zarko

"This was positive, helpful, serious but uplifting, unique.” – Jeremy

“It was nice to have the combination and break up of simple exercises with musical selections.  Your singing further helped bring clarity to my thoughts and written words.  I will take away the knowledge that no matter where I’m at in my life, it is always my duty to check in with myself and to remember that bringing in the creative process helps better know myself.  Thank you!”--Dena

“Tonight was confirming.  I will take away that I need to make more time for myself.”  --Anonymous

“This was peaceful, calm, comforting.  I will keep striving to let go of some stuff I don’t need in my life to live as is intended for me.” 
--Malii

“This was like having a concert in your own home combined with guided self-reflection.  It helped me to recenter my thoughts.  Sometimes your thoughts can be all up in the air and it is easy to get busy with “life”.  This helped me to remember what is most important for me.” –Corinne

“This was calming, introspective, refreshing.”  --Vijay

“Tonight was very practical and uplifting!  It helped with increased focus on priority goals and identifying concrete ways to pursue them.” –Ravi

“This was fun, inspiring, and insightful.  I now have more confidence and hope.” –Sarah

“This was grounding and enlightening.  I will take away from tonight the importance of living in today and being creative.” –Janise

“Tonight was relaxing and entertaining.  It gave me more focus on some life goals.”  --Marnie

To be perfectly honest, when he said that, it used to really annoy me.  I was all, “Teddy, I want you to help me calm my fears, give me reinforcement, not tell me some motivational line!”

But, over time, I realized the wisdom in what he was telling me.  He was being honest with me, not sugar-coating anything, just telling me the truth.  And he did that because he knew I could handle hearing it.  And that helped me have more confidence in myself. 

“You’ve gotta be in to win” is something I regularly tell myself now when I have to do something new that I’m nervous about.  What it means to me is that you have to reach out in order to learn and get results.  Sure, there will be times when things don’t work out as you’d hoped.  But, there will also be times when things work out better than you could have ever hoped.

When I feel afraid, I ask myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”  And usually, the worst really wouldn’t be that bad.  And it would help me develop a thicker skin. 

Then I ask myself, “Would you rather just not take the next step and wonder about it for the rest of your life, or would you rather take the next step, regardless of the outcome, and feel good that you did it?”  If my answer is the latter, then it is worth taking that next step.

Every day, I arm myself with trust and courage as I make steps to bring my music and coaching into the world more.  And I know that you can do the same for what you are called to do in this life.

So, what is your next step?

When will you jump in?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

I find that some of the most powerful insights happen when we encounter emotions within us.  Music is a very powerful way to get in touch with this.  How many times have you heard a song and your eyes filled with tears?  Or you were filled with longing?  Or you felt happy?  Based on the emotions that come up for you while you are listening, you can have lots of insights about what is important to you and what you need to do in your life.  As a singer and a songwriter, there is nothing better than performing a song and having someone feel moved by it.

Similarly, in my work with my coaching clients, I find that it is often in the moments when emotions surface that clients have the most powerful insights.  Emotions may come in the form of sadness, anger, fear, happiness, or excitement, and when I notice an emotion I always like to go into it more deeply.  An emotion indicates energy and an “aliveness” that is very important. Emotions indicate that there is something to learn from and experience within ourselves, and we need to pay attention.

As I think and write about this, I feel grateful to be able to do work that evokes something as sacred as human emotions.  What an honor to be able to be a part of people’s internal processes, and to help people experience and learn from their lives in a profound way.  

My book and CD set have enabled me to combine my music and coaching work, and to help people do this even more.  I invite you to check it out if you haven't already!  It is a unique system that can give you tools  and insights to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

So, how do your emotions affect you?

How are you feeling these days?

What could those feelings be telling you to pay attention to?