Remember that good feeling everyone had after the men’s Gold Medal game between Canada and the United States?  Remember how the excitement generated from that game was going to carry over to the National Hockey League, once the Olympics were done, and how NHL television viewers would increase in numbers for the remainder of the season, and beyond?

Yeah, ain’t gonna happen.

Exactly one week, one stinkin’ week, after that epic showdown between the Yanks and Canucks drew an unheard of (well, unheard of for a hockey game) 17.6 rating overnight, and a 15.2 final rating, the Red Wings/Blackhawks tilt, NBC’s NHL Game of the Week, drew a meager 1.2 overnight rating.

Sure, that 1.2 rating is better than last year’s Bruins/Rangers game (1.0 rating), but somewhat lower than the Pens/Capitals game on February 7, the final NBC broadcast heading into the Olympic break (1.3 rating).  Of course, the February 7 game had the added benefit of a showdown between the leagues top two stars in Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin.

But still, this doesn’t bode well for fans hoping to see NHL stars at the 2014 Winter Olympics.  Increased viewership, courtesy of the Olympics, is pretty well the only benefit the NHL and the team owners receive from NHL participation.  And it’s fairly obvious from these latest numbers that casual fans that get caught up in the excitement of Olympic hockey, realize that the NHL product is far less entertaining an animal, and would rather watch Golden Girls reruns on a Sunday afternoon, than sit through an NHL game.

[Sports Media Watch]

And that’s not great, because Shane Battier really, really loves karaoke.  It’s almost unhealthy, the Rockets forward’s affection for off-key singing–the man considers himself a “huge karaoke aficionado.”

Battier gives a little more detail on his karaoke love affair in this video, which is both a joke (I think), and a promotion for an upcoming charity night he’s hosting…

Wow.  Gotta love when Battier breaks out a little “Ice Ice Baby.”  When was the last time you heard an athlete use the words “aficionado” and “cotillion” in the same interview?  Or ever, for that matter.  But Shane Battier is one of the most articulate and well-spoken athletes I’ve ever seen.  Plus he has the temperament to laugh at himself, while others laugh at him and his karaoke skills.

So, if you find yourself in or around the Houston area on April 8th, you should definitely try and get tix for Shane and Heidi Battier’s Clutch City Karaoke, to hear Shane and some of the other Rockets players badly singing other people’s songs.

[H/T Ball Don't Lie, Image via Wikipedia]

Even Joe Buck’s wife can’t stand him anymore. [Deadspin]

What the hell is futsal?  I have no idea, but it sounds dangerous.  How dangerous?  Some dude died while playing it. [Sportress of Blogitude]

Ron Artest has a freaky new haircut that has to be seen to be believed. [The Big Lead]

The Angry T has 22 pics of the most inappropriate mascot in sports history–the Cleveland Cavaliers Moondog. [The Angry T]

Great video of Villanova’s Scottie Reynolds going through the Spanish announcer’s table. [Can't Stop the Bleeding]

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If Monday is giving you problems, call this dude…Trouble Man can help you out.  Remember–he has one edge, and that’s his cool.  And that’s all he needs.  Damn.

Like the band’s drummers in the cult classic This is Spinal Tap, the Portland Trail Blazers are having a tough time keeping their center’s knees healthy–first Greg Oden is lost for the season after fracturing his patella, then just over two weeks later, Joel Pryzbilla ruptures his patella tendon, thus ending his season as well.

Marcus Camby, you are on notice.

But wait, it gets even worse for Pryzbilla and the Blazers.  Almost 2 1/2 months since having his knee surgically repaired, Pryzbilla looks like he will have to go under the knife again, after a freak accident at his Milwaukee home caused him to re-rupture the already damaged patellar tendon.

What happened you ask?

Pryzbilla slipped in the shower.

Man, how much does that suck for Pryzbilla?  You can pretty well put a big bow on Pryzbilla’s career and kiss it goodbye.  It’s going to take some kind of miracle for the 30-year-old center to come back from this most recent setback.

And if I was you, Marcus Camby, I’d start washing your knees in Holy Water if you can find it.

[Fanhouse, Image]

For the hundreds of Florida fans that lined up for the Chosen One’s signature, the answer is a resounding “YES!”  I doubt that the real Jesus Christ could have pulled this off–charging $160 to scribble his name on footballs, jerseys, pieces of paper and whatever else the rabid fans thrust in the former Gators quarterback’s face.

But a four hour wait to meet Tim Tebow?  Really?  It’s pretty clear that Florida fans will continue to love Tebow long after he’s named backup QB of the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

And if you’re a jaded and pessimistic jerkass like myself, you immediately thought that 1) $160 is way too much for Tebow’s autograph, and that the money would be better served on weed and hookers, and 2) with so many people lining up for Tebow’s “John Hancock” at $160 a pop, his wallet’s going to be a lot heavier.  And, like me, you’d be dead wrong…at least about the second part.

Why?  Because Tim Tebow is a better person than you or I.  See, the boatloads of cash he’s making from whoring out his signature will be going to the Tim Tebow Foundation, which is slightly more charitable and altruistic than George Costanza’s Human Fund.  Tebow had wanted to form this charity during his playing days at Florida, but NCAA rules barred him from doing so.

And while it’s fairly obvious, from the jealous bile that spews out of my mouth when talking about Tim Tebow’s quarterbacking skills, that I don’t think he’s in for a long or prosperous NFL career, there’s no doubt in my mind that Tim Tebow’s character and humanity is second to none…in any football league.

[News4Jax, Image]

This has all the makings of a straight-to-video Steven Seagal classic…including a plucky, well-known sidekick in tennis star Boris Becker.

Germany held it’s largest poker tournament this past Saturday, at the Grand Hyatt hotel in Central Berlin.  Like I said, Becker was there, because I guess that’s what German tennis legends do when they finish playing professional tennis.  All was going swimmingly at the tourney, until this happened.

Six men, armed with assault rifles, machetes, hand grenades and Gary Coleman hidden in a duffel bag, stormed the tournament, making off with about $1.1 million in prize money.  Along the way, the thugs manged to crack the skull of a security guard who attempted to stop one of the bandits during the daring raid.

Several of the poker participants were injured in the melee, although none seriously.  Sufficed it to say, Becker and the other players won’t return to the tables anytime soon.

[The Local]

UPDATE: According to an AP report, the only gun seen was a revolver (not an assault rifle, as was mentioned above), and the banditos made off with much less than the reported $1.1 million–more like $328,000.  Still a good haul, but not Ocean’s 11 worthy, that’s for sure.

It’s a depressing commentary on the state of boxing when I am actually able to write about the possibility of a 47-year-old Evander Holyfield stepping into the ring against a 44-year-old Mike Tyson, for a third, and hopefully final time.  A match between these two dinosaurs would be akin to watching a couple of old codgers square off at the nursing home over the last bowl of pudding. If this comes to fruition, I may just crawl into a bottle of scotch and never be seen from again.

Tyson’s troubled life is well chronicled, as is Holyfield’s, albeit to a lesser extent.  While Holyfield has continued to fight, against the advice of pretty well everyone in the free world, Tyson has stayed away from the ring since quitting against Kevin McBride.

Until now.

Rumor has it that our man Don King has a tentative deal in place for Tyson to get back into the ring sometime this year, and that they’re hoping that Tyson’s first match is against Holyfield.

Hoo boy.

Listen, I was a fan of boxing back when these two were kings of the ring.  Tyson in his prime was as ferocious and talented a boxer as there ever was, and Holyfield was a masterful tactician with the body of Adonis.  But hell, that was 15 years, and a billion brain cells ago.  Now they’re just two worn-out, pathetic, aged fighters looking for a payday–which is sad, because it shows just how ill-prepared these guys were for life outside of boxing.

No word yet on when, or if this will happen–but safe to say that if a deal does get done, it will be a fairly profitable Pay-Per-View event, and the winner (and loser) should both receive a lifetime supply of Geritol.

[Yahoo UK, Image]

Wow!  Talk about your king of shameless self promotion.  You can see that thing coming a mile away.  Whatever you say about Kyle Wilson as a football player, the man is not lacking in confidence.

The way I figure it, Wilson’s plan to wow scouts at the NFL Scouting Combine consisted of three components…

1. run a sub-4.4 in the 40 yard dash
2. do a ton of bench press reps
3. drive up in this behemoth and blow their collective minds

Experts have Wilson touted as the second or third best cornerback in the draft–but he’s No.1 in style thanks to this sweet ride.

[H/T to the Sportress of Blogitude]

Not exactly what I was expecting...

Yes, I’ll admit that I am one of those pervs who has fantasized about women wrestling in assorted condiments and foodstuffs–everything from that old standby, Jello, to hot oil, to warm oatmeal.  But coleslaw?  Never once considered it as a suitable forum for wrestling ladies.

But it is.  And at the risk of generalizing a segment of the population, it seems very popular amongst the biker redneck niche.  Why do I say that?  Because  the coleslaw wrestling tournament is held annually during Bike Week, the 10-day festival that attracts a huge number of bikers to Daytona Beach, a gathering that dates back to 1937.

Of course, like any great sport, coleslaw wrestling has its champion.

And that champion is a 27-year-old mother from Volusia County by the name of Heather Spears.  Make that 9-time defending champion Heather Spears, who is undefeated in her last nine tournaments held at, and I’m not making this up,  Sopotnick’s Cabbage Patch Bar in Samsula.  The tourneys are part of Bike Week, and a second festival called Biketoberfests.

While this is Spears’ fifth year wrestling, the tournament itself dates back to 1985.  That marked the first time two bikini-clad women squared off in a pit of vegetable oil and cabbage, while hundreds of horny bikers cheer them on in the hopes that some or all of the participants clothing comes off.

Two women enter, one women leaves–naked, oily and smelling of cabbage.

And if you’re thinking that Spears’ is a one-dimensional wrestling champ, think again.  Not only is she undefeated in cabbage, she’s also triumphed in the pudding and creamed-corn wrestling events.

An impressive resume to say the least.

[Orlando Sentinel, Official Site of Bikeweek]

OJ Simpson’s “acquittal suit” to be donated to Smithsonian…meaning once again, Fred Goldman gets nothing. [Sportress of Blogitude]

Luke Scott is one player who wishes he could still bear arms in MLB clubhouses. [The Big Lead]

Ochocinco, Erin Andrews and a bunch of other pseudo-celebs headline the next edition of Dancing With the Stars, a show I will never watch. [Guyism]

27pitches has one final look at the 2009 NFL season. [27pitches]

One Canadian thought that winning the hockey gold medal gave him the ability to fly.  He was wrong. [Bob's Blitz]

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I don’t like to say I told you so…oh, who am I kidding, I love saying i told you so.  I told you the Canucks were a force to be reckoned with.  All is right in the hockey world.