LameWare™ Sdn. Bhd.

The Big Bang Theory Massive Update!

2009-08-24T18:23:00.002+08:00

I have after for months finally done a massive update on The Big Bang Theory - LameWare.

Info:
Episodes 2-3 & 5-10.

Please watch it and more updates will continue!

The Big Bang Theory - LameWare

Enjoy!

BIG BANG THEORY brought to you by LameWare!

2009-02-21T15:13:00.002+08:00

Hey!!!!!

Yes, yes its the moment everyone has been waiting for!

Big Bang Theory Season 1 !!!!

With the help of LameWare™

Big Bang Theory is being streamed at..

LameWare-BBT.blogspot.com

You can watch all your Big Bang Theory episodes there.

If your wondering what is Big Bang Theory..

it is a comedy series directed by the same director as Friends!

Its funny in an intelligent way!

What are you waiting for ?

GO NOW!

Big Bang Theory

What if opened a hotel? How will it look like? The visitors?

2009-02-18T20:41:00.006+08:00

You must be wondering...

"WHAT TYPE OF VISITORS WE GET???"

We'll we got alot of types of visitors.

We as Lame Facilitators, provide to many types of visitors.

People from the far-east to the fat-ass.

And from the northern heights to the lowest of low

like the North Pole*wait a minute... isn't that...*

As they come here we give them the best treatment like

carry your own baggage up to the 200 story room!

ITS SO HIGH YOU CANNOT EVEN SEE THE WORDS!!!

Our Bell-boys will always be waiting for you...

at your room for a tip!

Rather than they wait downstairs, it will be easier for you!

Just get to your room, if you can, and pay them there and then!

PETER & KARL! THEY LIKE MONEY!!! TEEHEE!!!

So, as you manage to get to your room.. You settle down

unpack and check out the place.

We get alot of nice comments from our visitors, some we don't even understand! like...

PEACE TO YOU TO!!

700!!!!

and sometimes we get...

Symbols :

!@#$%

$#@!

:] !!!! :D !!!!!! >>>>---------> (AN ARROW) (O)_(O)

After you have settled down, you would look forward to our room services!

COOK YOUR OWN MEAL AT $900

All you need to do is... kill the chicken, pluck its feathers,

clean it, cook it, and add some flavour and color!

WALAH! AT $900 WHO WOULDNT WANT THAT???

And if your looking for a nice swim,COOL WATERS! BLUE & CLEAR!!!!

LIKE....

BUT why not use the pool

at the basement!

It has everything! RATS!!! MICE!!! DICE!!!

And we'll even add in the Roguegator for you!

You want more? sure water is free just ask for it and we'll

connect the pipes to your pool!

Instead of blue and clear water you will get

a colorful one!

GREEN! BLACK!!! BROWN! ORANGE!!!(Orange? The man had a bad dinner, he didnt cook his chicken right)

LOOK YOU CAN EVEN SEE THE GREEN STUFF HANGING FROM THE WALL!!

YES!!!

SO..

when you come to our pool you have to look for..

Thats right!!!

What about tourism?

It is still underconstruction by our finest contractors!

SEE FOR YOURSELF!!

Aren't they hard working contrators?

One step at a time, they have their whole lives ahead of them, NO RUSH!!!

How will it look?

Lets ask our architech! (Yes I know the spelling should get a 100% but my teacher disagrees and I don't know why?)

(OMG SO UGLY!! YOU BAD BAD BOY!!)

And our finish product!

With visitors like..

Drug-dealers, criminals, murderers, con-artist like the recent Facilitator-L we have no fear! that our place

is the

BEST!!

UNIQUE!!!

LATEST!!!

LAMEST!!!

SUPERB!!!

HIGHEST!!!

INDISCRIBABLE!!!

TO SHOW HOW WE CARE!!!!

AND YOU GET:

B.U.L.L. S.H...... crap.....

WE ANYWAYZ COME SOON!!!

BUH BYE!! BUH BYE!! AIR KISSES!!! MUAH MUAH!!!

YaY! US!

LameWare™ Law Court!!!

2009-02-06T18:59:00.003+08:00

BAILIF : "OHDER!!! OHDER!!! OHDER IN THE COURT!!!

The Court is in session!!!

All rise for the honorable Judge Law Mee enters!

*APPLAUSE*

Judge : You maybe seated!

Case #3w87 in the Low Court of the criminal division, regarding the matters of

imposteration between Probationary Lame`O-G agaisnt Facililator-L.

Date : 06.2.2009

We call upon counsel Probationary Lame`O-G to present her case.

*To make this more fun, G & L will have to fight for their rights and win the case,

I,Judge Law Mee, will judge this case and if the other side cannot bring enough information

to win this case then the winning side will win.*

*Gwen you are accussing Lenix so state your reasons and facts.

Lenix you are in the defending position so protect yourself well, really really well.*

*Do not post a whole lumpsum in one post, you need to fight so save the best for last.*

*Gwen please post on the next post not here.

Post about information you are going to use to fight for your rights in this case.*

*Lenix you will post after she has finished her post.*

*Objections*

You can only object twice in the person who is fighting or defending's post.

Only 2 times.

Your objection cannot be more than 1 paragraph and less than 5 sentences.

Gwen please proceed...

Ini Sangat Scandal Leh.

2009-02-05T23:07:00.011+08:00

OKAY SO THIS IS REALLY WEIRD.
FOR THE PAST THREE (OR SO) DAYS THERE HAS BEEN AN IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* WHO HAS BEEN TRYING (AND FAILING MISERABLY, TOO, I MIGHT ADD) TO PRETEND TO BE ~~AWESOMENESS IN THE FLESH~~ ME.

NOW, I KNOW almost half of the world's population would KILL to walk in MY ~~EXTREMELY SEXY CUSTOM-MADE FOR MY FLAWLESSNESS~~ SHOES, but MURDERING SOMEONE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF FLAT OVEN-BAKED GENERALLY ROUND BREAD THAT IS COVERED WITH OFTEN FLAVOURFUL TOPPINGS!?

~~Scandalous!~~
THIS IS TOO MUCH WEI.

And pretending to be ME, of all people. ME!
Do you KNOW how much havoc me being put in prison would cause?
DO YOU?!?!??!!

Well JUST SO YOU KNOW, law happens to be one of the languages I'm fluent in. >=3 RAWRRR!
~~The others are English, Awesomian and LAMEIAN, FYI!~~

I can't seem to shake the feeling that the IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* is Facilitator L *ahemHAOZHEahem*, though. x(
HMMMM. HMMMM.

'CAUSE YOU SEE RIGHT:

5 Feb 09, 19:35
Facilitator-L™: ...why are u accusing me..? I have better things to do than impostering people..
5 Feb 09, 19:31
Probationary Lame-O G: ..? okay =.= this is stupid. WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE U POSTING MESSAGES AS ME.

(THIS ^ IS SO TOTALLY NOT ME OKAY. HE JUST COPIED AND PASTED WHAT I SAID. Tsk tsk, plagiarism AND a fraud. ~~NO WONDER YOU WANT TO BE ME.~~ HAHAHAHAHA! xD kiddingnya.)

LOOK AT THE TIME. JUST LOOK AT IT.
How can it be that they happened to be at the same place, at the (almost) same time, doing the same thing?!?!?! PLUS! I always, ALWAYS use emoticons when I comment.
The IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* doesn't. ~~THAT GOES FOR FACCIE L, TOO.~~

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME, FACCIE L?! WHAT?!?!!?!
xD

Of course if I am wrongfully accusing you Hao Zhe please don't use your forensic knowledge against me after all we all can't be perfect right? xD

... Right?

*Gulp*. Somehow, I think I'mma havta appoint a defense attorney ASAP. O_O

Me: Hey Gwen Yi, wanna be my lawyer?
Me: Sure! :D

DONE. Yay! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Smart-nyaaaa. x)

If you have ANY IDEA AT ALL who the IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* is, please dial our hotline at
1300-I-KNOW-WHO-THE-IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning*-IS!

Oh, and sorry for the excessive Caps Lock. :D It's a bad habit of mine, the over-usage of it. LOL.

The REAL Probationary Lame-O G, over and OUT. x)

Eh Hao Zhe please don't take offense okay? o.O I only meant whatever I said as a joke.
... So, yeaaaaah. Just in case you're mad: SORRY! :X

A Imposter Case at LameWare™

2009-02-05T20:51:00.002+08:00

MYSTERIOUS IMPOSTER

There has been an imposter at LameWare™.

Our staff member Probationary Lame-O G™ has been framed for murder, bribery, and a death penalty.

Lame Officers have already started investigating the premise for any clues and prints of

the IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning*

This incedent has just currently happened on 9th of February 2009.

The victim of the IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* was killed

in the study room, with a knife, with the help of Colonel Mustard!

Suprisingly the victim's body died inside the white lines. This has amazed federal officers

of how cunning and evil this IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* is.

Luckily our janitor, Janitor Lame V10.8 was there and heard the whole conversation.

The janitor told us everything

"Cum indraznesti sa face asa ceva! Am ştiut că ar trebui să nu au mai avut incredere in tine cu prezenta ŞI ACUM ITS timpul să mori! DIE paşnic, sau bucăţi!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA"

*f.y.i. Google is the Numba 1 translator*

The whole conversation was spoken in Romanian.

But our Romanian Lame Translator all the way from...... you guessed it! MONGOLIA!

Translated it for us to english!

"My mother was right! I am hurt, I should have never given you the key to my heart, you broke my heart and now I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU THE TICKETS TO THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE you old fart! DIE pizza, is bullshit!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

As our MONGOLIAN translated, this IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning*

is very dangerous and he will kill anyone who likes pizza, and thinks his mother is wrong.

A picture will be posted on later by our staff Facilitator-L and an interview will be held

with the impostered Probationary Lame-O .

Our follow readers, if you have seen this IMPOSTER™ *Sound Effects- Thunder & Lightning* please call our hotline at :

1300-I-HAVE-SEEN-THIS-SUPER-MAD-KILLER

Thank You for your cooperation!

LameWare™ "Donating & Contributing"

2009-02-02T20:25:00.005+08:00

LameWare™

A place of great lameness!

It is time for YOU!

To help youselfs

by helping us

to help the customers

so that the customers

can help other people

that helps other people

in other things

which are unknown

that helps the other side of the world

do unkown things which are currently unknown to us.

By doing so it relates back to us by BBC

then it tells the people in the other place

of the other side to help....

uhhhhhh wait....

to help... YOUR BOSS!

Then your boss relates it back to you!

AND TA! DA!

So help yourselfs by donating to LameWare™.

Donations, as other companies would do, would be given to the homeless

and helpess and poor people in Africa & India.

They will provide them with food and shelter.....

But LameWare™ donations goes to help the lame and the lameless, and lamer.

These people are in desperate need of help!

So why don't you help them by donating to our contribution box

starting at the amount of $00.001 and work your way up!!

Oh yes new products!!

For students going to school!

You need your pencils, pens, pencil box, eraser!

Well LameWare™ has made stationaries for you!!!

The...

Pencil With No Lead Inside™!!!

Its all wood and no lead!

Tears the papers right out of your book!!!

Pencils now sell of a dollar less.

But LameWare™ sells it to your for $50.00!!!

Its cheap!

Its affordable!

It can't get any better than 50!!

The...

Pencil Box As Small As Your Finger™!!!

Its small its compact you can put it right up your nose!!!

The Pencil Box As Small As Your Finger™ is going for.....

a good and sensible price of $800!!!!

And The..

Magical Eraser™!!!

Instead of getting rid of all your mistakes and dirts.

Magical Eraser™ puts more dirt on your paper!!!

THATS RIGHT!!!!

It gives your work the umph! in it!

Magical Eraser™ is selling for only a small, little price of...

Collecting 10,000...1 sens!!!!

Start counting your one sen now!!!

This whole set can be bought together!!

Its on sale for..

well...

its so much that you can't afford it!!

Well so much for your UMPH!!

BUY IT NOW ONLINE AT

http://www.thislinkissofreakinglongthat

itwilltakeyourfiveminutestotypeitoutandaccessthewebsitetouseitandfind

yourproductwhichyoucantbecausethislinkissooooolongand

youcantdoanythingaboutit.com.my/lameware/openfile/closefile

/underthefile/throughthefile/dotopensource/enteringfirewall

/inputpassword/inputnickname/gogetcoffee/drinkasip/gettinghungry

/gocooksomelamewaremee/afteradayswork/siteisloading

/1%/2%/3%/4%/99%/100%/siteaccessed.htm/

Copy™ and Cut™ has been bought by LameWare™ so you are not given the permission to

use the word Copy, Cut, or Copy, or Cut, anything.

So get your products online now!!!!!!

Lame Now Here!™

2009-02-02T14:11:00.005+08:00

This is the synopsis of the lastest and lamest action movie "Lame Now Here!" by LameWare™ Productions™ ™.

Warning: Read whole post then proceed to the warning at the bottom.

Staring

The Yellow Truck & His Tiny Red Sports Car!

Co-Staring

L's Finger

L for Lame™

Directed by

CEO Of LameWorks™

Co-Directed by

CEO Of LameWorks™

Stunts by

Facilitator-L

Visual & Sound Effects by

Facilitator-L

Pictures by

Facilitator-L

The Tiny Red Sports Car™ is sick
Once apon a time there lived a vampire car. He loved to suck gasoline. His name was Tiny Red Sports Car™. His favorite sport was to drink gasoline.
One Day he got sick. He felt like he would throw-up. His mamma said he should eat more blood. His papa said he should look at Tiny Red Sports Cars™. So he tried to look at himself. His Grandmother said to just lie in bed.
so he did and he got better. But he got sick again.
He asked his brother, The Yellow Truck™. But his brother said, "I don't care"
So he asked his sister, The Silly Pink Honda™. But she said, "I hate you."
He remembered what his Grandma said. So he lay in bed and he got better.
He never got sick again.
Awww...
The End

Warning: Spoilers intended, don't read post if you don't like spoilers. Whoops, too late!

We LameWare™ do not post anything not appropriate for our customers.

Which means nothing 18+ and above.

LameWare™ post should not post any type of information

or pictures which is related to anything "dirty"

We are Lame™ not dirty minded people.

Editted by : Facilitator-D

More LameWare™ Coming YOUR WAY!!!

2009-02-02T00:56:00.019+08:00

OKAY WELL, I know nobody really CARES about who-joins-this-company and who-posts-what but JUST SO YOU KNOW, this is the new Probationary Lame-O™. Probationary Lame-O' G (which stands for GREAT). :D

SO AS YOU CAN SEE, for the past four decades our highly-ESTEEMED *ahem ahem* organization has been ~~ripping people off~~ benefiting the human race selling Solar-powered Flash Lights™, Waterproof Tea Bags™, and even smooth sandpaper™ that does WONDERS with your Kemahiran Hidup woodwork projects (coming soon for the EXTREMELY FREAKING IF-YOU-DON'T-BUY-THIS-YOU'RE-NUTS CHEAP price of $999.27!).

It even comes in a variety of FOUR COLOURS:
Frictionless Brown, Silky Maroon, Velvety Beige and even Sleek Blue!

To pre-order, please dial our hotline at
1300-I-WANT-TO-MAKE-MY-KERJA-KAYU-SUCKIER!

And speaking of nuts, we are ALSO working on a nutcracker that doesn't crack nuts™, estimated to be out by the end of September (when the nut season is in full swing!). It will be only going for $400 for the first five minutes, then the price will be lowered to a STUNNING REDUCTION of $399.99! ISN'T THAT JUST BRILLIANT?
You can now use your left-over cash to buy our EXTREMELY FRESH NUTS exported ALL THE WAY from Indonesia for just $57.60 with every purchase of a non-nut-cracking nutcracker!

Note his bound-up-and-secured-with-Mammoth (Elephant too outdate lah)-glue upper lip - so the mouth cannot be closed shut and therefore, THE NUT CANNOT BE CRACKED!!

To pre-order, please dial our hotline at
1300-IF-I-BUY-THIS-I-WILL-LACK-NUTS!

Now, I KNOW the mere mention of nuts has, erhem, INVOKED THE INTEREST OF A FEW CERTAIN YELLOW-MINDED PEOPLE OUT THERE *ahem ahem! xD*, so while we are on the topic of YELLOW, we have been experimenting with our latest product - the black highlighter pen™.

Tired of having to study, take note of and - God forbid- MEMORIZE those important points in your history textbooks and reference books?
FEAR NO MORE, FOR THERE IS NOW A NEW ALIBI IN THE "BOOK OF EXCUSES":

"Teacher, I accidentally used the wrong colour highlighter."

It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT!

And it only costs you an IDEAL RATE of $69.79! Refills are sold separately in a different polystyrene pack which costs $89.54 (environmentally friendly ones cost $109.99).

To pre-order, please dial our hotline at
1300-I-NEED-A-BETTER-EXCUSE-FOR-NOT-DOING-HOMEWORK!

Hope y'all liked that. :P
OH OH and believe it or not, THOSE INVENTIONS REALLY DO EXIST. *Grins*

(Products are not refundable)

LameWare™ (Important) [UPDATE]

2009-02-01T19:43:00.007+08:00

Hi! Today, I have made two pictures of LameWare™

1 from scratch

1 from a blog header, provided by Hao Yi. Thks!

For picture number one, to me it has this old 60s truck look.

With the mix of orange and black! Wu Hu!

Man it does look like 1895!!

How much does this beatiful thang cost? You ask?

Well, since it wasn't easy, it ranges from the size you order it in and how much HD you want.

$1,000.00 - $2,000.00

So CHEAP???

YES IT IS!

With that money you could feed atleast 500 starving people!

This picture can be used as a wallpaper!

Or a card for your mothers B`day!

Call Now! At...

1300-DANG-THATS-GOOD

Now for the second product!

This picture is giving the expression of tranquililty and grace, kindness and warmth,

peace and harmony~

YES! IT IS TRUE!

LameWorks™ is creating a new movie, called Lame Now Here→!

Staring

The Yellow Truck & His Tiny Red Sports Car!

Co-Staring

L's Finger

L for Lame™

Directed by

CEO Of LameWorks™

Co-Directed by

CEO Of LameWorks™

Stunts by

Facilitator-L

Visual & Sound Effects by

Facilitator-L

Pictures by

Facilitator-L

(F.Y.I. We are under man-ed)

Screened at GLC™ 1894 @Golden Lame Cinemas™

COMING TO YOUR "GLCinemas™" SOON!!!!

And Lastly, our new prohibate/staff/Lame-O`s...

Lame-O`-G

YaY!! (CLAP) not claps.

CLAP

Thks

LameWare™ Feb 01,09 UPDATE

2009-02-01T00:10:00.004+08:00

It's the 1st of February 09 and it's time for our monthly update on what we have for our customers.

Firstly, we are recruiting new people! YaY! More people! More Lame™!

Our under-studies will be given the position of Lame-o`s™.

If you think you have what it takes to become a Lame-o`s™, then email your application

to lameware.co@gmail.com

Another update is, of our new products.

Yes new and Lame™! All the way from LameWare™ Co.

We have 4 new products for our customers.

1. LameWare™ Pocket Dictionary™

2. LameWare™ Pendrive

3. LameWare™ Pendrive v2.o

4. Weightless Paper Weight™

Since it is 12:00am I shall not explain them.

But Facilitator-L will do it!

YaY!

All our products have been tested and have been given the Safety Award from Africa, Utopia.

Over there it is really safe!

And if you are not satisfied by these 4 items, we also have new books coming up.

Written personally by CEO of LameWare™, Facilitator-L, and me, Facilitator-D.

[UPDATE]

Since it is 12.41 a.m and I can't go to sleep, I shall explain them. Big boss better pay me overtime.

1. LameWare™ Pocket Dictionary™ - A dictionary so big, it can fit into your pocket! (Dictionary size is equivalent to the standard year 1895 jean pockets, aka the ones that miners used to store coal and such.)

2. LameWare™ Pendrive - These cheaper and faster models are great if you're on the move. Best feature is: Once Only Usability™! Store your data and never get it out!!!

3. LameWare™ Pendrive v2.o - These WAY faster models, although lacking in the Once Only Usability™ feature, makes up for it with is GIGANNOURMOUS memory space of 8MB!! Stores up to 2 songs!!!!!

4. Weightless Paper Weight™ - These weightless beauties are a great thing to have on your desk when you're moving house and are lazy to take it off your desk before carrying it! You may want to do something to keep those papers from flying about though..

-Edited and updated by Facilitator L

(Products are not refundable)

Gotta Collect Them All!

2009-01-31T18:23:00.003+08:00

Well folks, you heard it! The CEO of LameWare™ has just announced the availability of " Getting To Know Your Lame Shui " books.

BUT!

There's a catch. Customers can choose between buying the whole book at the CHEAP CHEAP price of $599.99 a page..

OR

Find all 1234 pages inside various LameWare™ products and get a free cover!

Its the offer of a lifetime!!!!

Examples of page locations include:
-Inside the nozzle of the Flammable Fire Extinguisher™
-Inside the pack of the Landing Delay Parachutes™
- Underneath the garbage inside the Disposable Garbage Can™
- Wrapping the poop inside the Poop In A Bag™

Happy Hunting~

[Update]

The CEO has witness several pitiful attempts of people trying to find the pages inside stupid places of our products. A man has even been sent to the hospital because he was looking inside the nozzle of our Flammable Fire Extinguishers™ while smoking...

I advise customers not to do that..

Therefore, the CEO has announce that he will release 1 free page to the public, namely page 123 "How To Draw A Decagon Of Lameness, Using Only A Compass And A Pencil Or Stick".

The gracious CEO has also decided to give a 1% discount on every page sold for a total of 2 hours! Each page now costs = $599.99 x 99%
= Elenventy-Twelve Ringgit!!!

Please thank the CEO.

(Products sold are not refundable for cash or Lame-Credit, also known as LC)

Lame Shui™ is the new Feng Shui! (Also has insides on the new book "Getting To Know Your Lame Shui™ " )

2009-01-31T18:00:00.012+08:00

Hello!

Thank You for all your support in making LameWare™ an undestructable Lame Fortress.

Today, as the CEO of LameWare™ and Founding Father of Lame™( Founding Father of Lame™ is above all other founders, which are the Founding Fathers of Lameness™. )

I shall touch on the subject of Lame Shui™.

Many people have always asked me personally " Sir, what is arh, Lame Shui™ arh? "

Well being the Grand Master Of Lame Shui™ I shall reveal to everyone what Lame Shui™ is!

Lame Shui™ is an ancient technique used by Lame Monks™ during 1234 B.C.

They were based at a Lame Temple™ at the Tibetian Mountians, where all Lame Shui™ was conducted.

Lame Monks™ would use Lame Circles™ & Squares™ to find out how Lame™ the area is, whether it is Lame™ or Lamer™. They also do this on people. People, during those times, where very cautious about how Lame™ they were. If they weren't Lame™ enough, by atleast some degree.

Dangerous punishment would be dealt. Punishments that were un-imaginable, they used

Swords The Cannot Cut™ on them, and Canes That Break All The Time™,

and the worst is Fire That Cannot Burn™.

All these punishments were used because they were not lame enough.

To not get punish the people went to seek out the Lame Monks™ to help change their Lame Vibes™.

As time went on, people became more mature and less Lame™. They deserted Lame Shui™ and started their own journey down the path of " BEING MATURE ", because of this they could not obtain the true Lame of Lameminity™.

Lame Shui™ was the true origin of Feng Shui. A Lame Monk™, went out to the world on a journey. Because he went out without the protection of "ARMOR THAT CAN BE PENETRATED™ " he was influenced to think that the Feng of Fang of Fing of Fong of Fung of Harry was the correct way to get Lame™!

This is just a small taste of what is instored in my book called

" Getting To Know Your Lame Shui™ "

Which is limitedly sold at LameWare™ Co.

At the price of $599.99 a page.

Collect all the pages and you get a free cover!

Call Now!

At 1300-LAME-ME-THAT-BOOK

Thank You, and a Lame Day to all.

CEO- LameWare™

(Products are not refundable)

Biography - Facilitator L

2009-01-31T15:26:00.000+08:00

Hey, this is my biography, Facilitator L- As in Lameness to the Max.

By Lenix Kok

Ok, you probably read and gagged at Facilitator D's biography, and found it extremely hard to read and understand. Some of you might also have though: "THIS SUX BIG TIME!!! WE WANT FACCIE L (NOT FAECES) BIOGRAPHY, FAECES D SUX!!!" XD

So here's how I got dragged into this wonderful establishment.

4o years ago, when the humble creators of Lameware™ were sitting in the Chat Room bar, I was still a hardworking employee in TupperWare™. At the exact same time they were LTICOMP-ing, I was told by my boss in TupperWare™ to finish up a ridiculously large project by that month.

Needless to say, I was pissed. When the deadline came and went, I headed to his office with the project which I had painstakenly worked on 24/7 for the pass month, but he threw it out of the window and threathened to take my family and put them in a room made out of TupperWare™ plastic, which we all know is fatally poisonous.

Anyways I was at a lost of what to do and decided to head to the Chat Room bar for a drink, or 2.... or maybe 10.. Thats when i saw it.

Yes, it. Or rather, them..

The founders of LameWare, selling Poop In A Bag™.

I was ecstatic and a plan formed in my mind. I bought 200 of these wonderful products and had my family placed under LameWare's company care. Then I came back to my boss's office 2 weeks later with my "project"

Boss- What the *censored* is this?

Me- It's my project. *Holds up box*

Boss- Let me see it *Opens box and finds it empty*

Me- Sneaks up behind him and dumped a bucket off Poop In A Bag™ on him.

Needless to say, I was fired and LameWare™ has taken me in. They have provided for me ever since.

How did I rise to Facilitatorship, some of you may ask.

Well, my good friend, Yang di-Perasankan Datuk Tan Sri Denzil Lim, was the main contributor to LameWare™'s fortune. He saw my potential in LAMENESS management and recommended me for Facilitatorship to the CEO, Mr.*Censored*

"How did you become rich?", "Are you single?", "Can I be as successful as you?" All these questions and more will be answered in my book "Faccies VS Faeces" which can be ordered via telephone at 1800-I-GOT-RIPPED-OFF-BUYING-FACILITATOR-D'S-BOOK-SO-NOW-IM-BUYING-YOURS

Or email us at lameware.co@gmail.com

A Painting For Your Living Room by LameWare™

2009-01-31T14:46:00.001+08:00

LameWare™'s Artist has just made a break through with their new painting.

Our Artist, A.K.A. Hao Yi, or you may know him as Nicholas, or even So Glad I'm Me.

Yes, him. He spent months picturing this work of art.

You can always visit him at :

So Glad I'm Me

It can be put anywhere, your living room, bath room, bed room, or even infront of your own car!

Yes! IT GOES ALMOST ANYWHERE! ( It is not water proof, that version is still under testing)

This painting is the LAME of picasso! and its going for only...

$299.99!!!

YES THATS RIGHT YOU HEARD ME!!!

$299.99!!!

Call Us now!!!

1300-I-WANT-THAT-PICTURE-OF-JON-TEOH-93!!!

(Products are not refundable)

Lolz this is a decision made personally by me!

Because Jon_teoh93 said this blog is boring!!

LIKE OMG!! HOW DARE HE!!

WELL PAY BACK!!!

=] TEEHEE!!!

LameWare™ Biography by Facilitato-D (D for Damm Lame)

2009-01-31T14:14:00.002+08:00

The Biography of LameWare™@ by Denzil Lim,

Published by LameWare™ & Associates, BookStore@.

@1995

Production by LameWare™ & Producers, ProductionStore@.

This book is dedicated to the Lameness all over the world.

It was 40 years ago, our company, started it's business just off the Chat Room.

The Chat Room was located at a bar, where my associates & I took our pencils and papers and started chatting. Thats how we did it in the old days.

Our conversation consisted of, the day is sunshine for you?.

That was the slangs we used.

But on that specific day our conversation got on the topic of TupperWare™ and how working there was very "down the old tree" (another slang for bad times). So we decided that we should start our own company, and the chat room went wild with, "LTICOMP" (which stands of Laughing Till I Choked On My Peanuts) Peanuts were the in thing to do, though it was illegal.

After our laughter ended, we actually thought about it and said we could do it! The things we could come up with was "way leafy"(another slang for cool~) than TupperWare™'s inventions.

But we were missing a name, but it wasn't hard we thought hard, had a few peanuts, and we came up with LameWare™ it was better more catchier than TupperWare™.

The next day, we quit our jobs and left TupperWare™. We went to the back of TupperWare™'s building and opened our own company right there. At the parking lot, where we got our big break! All we had was garbage and poop. But that didn't stop us we just took it and sold POOP IN A BAG! POOP IN A BAG! IT's HERE! IT's NOW!! NO MORE PICKING UP POOP!! JUST GET IT IN A BAG!!! ONLY FOR $5.99

People from everywhere started coming with 5s and 1s to buy our product.

It sold faster than, going to the toilet with a stomach ache!

With that we started and earned our way up to the roof top of TupperWare™ building selling our products, or LameWare™.

Now, after 40 years of hard work, we are big and powerful with our fantastic LameWare™.

And our location is just right beside TupperWare™ company!

Thank You for reading.

If you feel like you want to say something or buy this book.

You can get it now, by calling our hotline!

1300-THIS-BOOK-FOR-$150.99

(Products are not refundable)

LameWare™ Jan 31, 09

2009-01-31T02:22:00.001+08:00

[UPDATE]
Yes, eyewitness reports and forensic evidence have determined that it is, a lamp post. -FacilitatorL
[UPDATE]

The Board Members of LameWare™ has decided that, the Night-Sun-Glasses will be reduced to a price of $99.98.5

The price has been reduced because of a riot just outside the company building, next to TupperWare™. They have been there all day, standing next to what I think is a lamp post.

With ladders and cables. The CEO is sure that they are rioting so the priced has been reduced.

PLUS!!

The Night-Sunglasses has a newer version.

Night-Sunglasses V1.1

This version has littler flowers stick to the side of the glasses.

The upgrade was because the Board Members looked better in them and they like little flowers.

SO CALL NOW!!!

1300-I-NEED-A-PAIR-OF-NIGHT-SUNGLASSES-V1.1

(Products are not refundable)

LameWare™ Sdn. Bhd.

2009-01-31T00:23:00.000+08:00

History Of LameWare™

LameWare™ is a small company located just outside the building of TupperWare™.

We were founded in 1985, just 40 years after TupperWare™ was founded.

LameWare™ was an industry ready to pounce into the "lame world". We were young, fit, happy, and all jolly. All we had was just a paper and pencil, but that didn't stop us. Now we are at the peak of our business!

What Do We Sell?

LameWare™ sells products which are usable and applicable to life for the consumer, examples include:
1.Disposable garbage cans to throw garbage... along with the can!!!
2.Solar-powered flash lights which is enviromentally friendly
3.Flammable fire extinguishers, cheaper than their non-flammable cousins, these beauties are an economical miracle!!!

BUY NOW!

All our products have been tested but not necessarily passed.

So call our hotline now at :

1300-I-HAVE-TOO-MUCH-$$$

(Products are not refundable)