Krapsody - The place to find out of the ordinary humor.

Swine Flu and You

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:51:00 +0000

Coming to my Swine Flu Party? We're gonna lick all the inanimate objects in the house..like the door knobs, sneeze on the dinnerware, spit in the punch bowl, then we're gonna fill up Super Soakers with fresh ladlefuls of body fluids and squirt attendees in the face. Come on in! Most experts say...

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A Bedtime Story by Static

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:46:00 +0000

A bit of a hiatus between the Halloween Countdown, because I can't be arsed to suffer another review...even though to complete my degree that's what I have to do in my Film As Literature course...but at least most of those features are enjoyable to watch. A long long time ago (really, the...

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Halloween Countdown: 14 Days : Devil's Rejects

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Two weeks to Halloween and I haven't found the ultimate movie or meme to rate. But I'm getting closer with this edition. The last movie I reviewed, that's an epic. It's just dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of it and throw the original away. And when you get through with that,...

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Halloween Countdown: 15 Days: Braindead

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:39:00 +0000

The Halloween Countdown continues! Few movies are so horrible that you would rather rub icy hot on your genitals than watch a movie like this. TWICE. Movies like Braindead are exactly that. It's badly edited, shot and acted, the score sucks, the humor is tacky. For a horror spoof, it fails. In a...

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Halloween Countdown: 16 Days: Count Wussula

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:40:00 +0000

I’ve read Bram Stoker's Dracula before, but it has been probably ten or fifteen years so I don’t remember it in it's entirety. I do remember my reaction was like "HELL TO THE YEAH!" NOT disappointed due to the fact he’s not quite the sophisticated pop culture pansy-ass Dracula we all know and...

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Halloween Countdown: 17 Days: Zombie Kid

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:27:00 +0000

With Halloween right around the corner, it begs the question, do insomniac zombies count dead sheep? Nope, but they do like turtles! LINK and brains (if they can find them)... LINK and techno remixes... LINK and PSAs... LINK Aww, looks like someone's been eating the GLUE and...

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Woody Allen, Gary Glitter Show Support For Polanski

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:18:00 +0000

Since his arrest on September 26, in Switzerland on his way to pick up a lifetime achievement "Golden Icon Award" from the Zurich Film Festival, Roman Polanski's fate now hangs in the balance. These days good and sensible doesn’t sell. Especially when you've eluded a 31-year-old fugitive warrant...

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I Saw Her Again Last Night

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:39:00 +0000

"I Saw Her Again Last Night," the famous song by the Mamas and the Papas. Bet you didn't know the real meaning behind it...did ya? And you thought news of the weird couldn't get any MORE weird. note: No animals, persons, or piles of vomit were harmed in the making of this article and video....

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Thought For The Day No. 8

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:16:00 +0000

I would really like to find a useful application for lint. It seems like such a wasted resource. Honestly, I feel funny admitting this, but I don't empty the lint trap in the dryer until I know I can pull out a wad of lint so enormous, that it could only be compared to bigfoot, and then I feel like...

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The Sixty-Four Thousand Dollar Question At Walmart

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 03:06:00 +0000

As I've gotten older very few things shock me anymore. Mostly, things that are meant to be shocking end up making me laugh...which happens quite frequently. I often burst out into fits of laughter. I must look like a crazy person...just laughing hysterically seemingly for no reason. Whether I'm...

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15 Rejected TV Pilots

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 03:29:00 +0000

(To be buried forever!) Never judge a book by it's cover, even if it's a little book. Or a little person. They're people too you know. It's just that, they can do some things that average people can't, like undetected shoplifting. And playing stunt-double to some child actor who will no doubt grow...

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The Evolution of Pharmaceuticals

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:24:00 +0000

As the health care reform debate reaches it's pinnacle of lunacy, I think it's high time to blow off some much needed steam...by focusing on the general public outcry for affordable medications and health care (and how they feel about it) whether the government is involved or not! Y'know, because...

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How The Sci Fi Channel Became a Venereal Disease

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 01:59:00 +0000

SyFy (n.) 1. Slang for syphilis, a venereal disease. 2. Name of a TV network that shows imagination-based programming to go with their illusionary ratings. Failing after a re-branding press release insulted its core audience. 3. New phonetic spelling for the Sci Fi channel. This is so people...

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To Be A Cop Or To Be A Racial Profiler..That Is The Question

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:07:00 +0000

The ill-advised (in my opinion) arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Lewis Gates last week by Cambridge Police Officer Sgt. James Crowley for being "uppity", caught the attention of the nation, but it was President Obama's comment that the Cambridge Police "acted stupidly" and the rather terrible...

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My Chat Session With "Steve"

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 00:10:00 +0000

I recently picked up a Palm Pre from some shlep on Craigslist. I am hopeful they aren't an eStalker, or a serial killer...actually I do, simply because I'd like to take them out. I enjoy raping and strangling serial killers (more than I do clowns, but sometimes it's a real bonus when they are...

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Can You Hear Me Now?

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:25:00 +0000

"The inability to stay quiet is one of the conspicuous failings of mankind." - Walter Bagehot, 1826-1877 I'm sure you've all been asking yourselves "where has that wild and crazy guy, Static been?" I'll tell you in this torrid tale, just for your enquiring minds...

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Lick The Big Bone (Revised)

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 01:52:00 +0000

"The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture." - Thomas Jefferson I don't know about you, but I sure would like a puff of whatever plants he was smokin'. You can thank Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States...

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Doing The Eternal Moonwalk Up In The Great Big Neverland Ranch In The Sky

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:23:00 +0000

"Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, 'I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight,'...

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A Totally Pointless Useless Arcane Stupid Deranged Puzzling Random Survey

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:00:00 +0000

"I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers." - Kahlil Gibran Answer these questions at your own peril... Loading... var _sttoolbar =...

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The Internet Is For Porn and HoBlogging!

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:00:00 +0000

I know you've been wondering for awhile now. And the facts are in. It's true. The internet is for porn! It's a well known saying to be sure. The internet is not strictly for looking up trivial information anymore. It's all about the booty. Perhaps the funniest depiction of this was a...

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Krapsody's Nottie of the Week™ #8!

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 02:01:00 +0000

It's that time again, I know these articles in particular give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Continue reading this trash if you like to throw up a little in your mouth. This installment of Nottie of the Week™ is all about me. Yes, yours truly has decided after my last post that I really...

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Krapsody's Nottie of the Week™ #7!

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 01:48:00 +0000

This Nottie tops the list. Lonely Butcher Needs Fresh Meat Hi there! Eddie Durvel here! Resident Axe Murderer! I'm looking for a lady who likes long walks in the country Someone shy who maybe doesn't have any friends or family Likes to hang out in deserted heavy industry warehouses. Not...

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Saving The World With Torture

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 03:26:00 +0000

"In the name of Hippocrates, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival." - Luis Buñuel (Spanish Film Director, 1900-1983) Ever hear of waterboarding? Let's just say it's not an aquatic sport such as surfing. Here's a short video on the...

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Want To Steal/Rape/Kill Again? Here's How To Gets Freaky Now! Limited Time Offer.

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:13:00 +0000

"I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?" - Patrick Bateman American Psycho Craigslist is running rampant with freaks! If you didn't realize this by now, then you have not been paying attention. Craigslist has seen quite a bit of trouble lately. The...

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A Memory Stick Loaded with Porn Beats a Box Load of Rocks Any Day

x.static.one@gmail.com (Static) — Thu, 21 May 2009 03:45:00 +0000

Looking for a unique gift? A gift that says it all? This is what you were seeking then. A gift that exudes style with originality - with simplicity. What better way to show that special someone in your life that you care? What mother doesn't know that their son would be thrilled when they...

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