In the midst of a scam I refer to as “Ocean’s 1,” a scam that cannot be talked about otherwise it would not be an effective scam, I recorded this  garbled excuse for a podcast that we will call Killed By Porn #62/Ocean’s 1.2. It’s being hosted by Mevio.com, who are, as usual, dropping the ball on paying me via advertising. But as I say, “Whatever duuuuuuuuuuuuude,” I’ve got 99 problems and lazy ass people who aren’t me ain’t one.

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Duke was riding a bike with no breaks around the city and sprained his wrist trying to skid to a stop. This episode is a millisecond by millisecond recreation of that incident. Actually more of a hydrocodone-inspired mash through his record collection, but who really cares?

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It’s the 60th episode of Killed By Porn. It’s also the 900th podcast to be posted on GaragePunk.com. In other words, I shouldn’t have to explain this shit to you again.

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A dark plunge into a dark sense of humor, or just some retarded songs put end to end, Killed By Porn #59 is what you imagine it to be. But look at it this way, at least it’s not what your flunky junkie friends are listening to.

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Duke came home from destroying SUVs in the desert to discover his Internet had been turned off. But don’t get the wrong impression, this podcast is not phoned in. Duke untucks the heat in this episode, and it has bump appeal for real. Crank this shit up and have a watergun fight, because art is faggotry.

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Maribel finally came over to record a podcast as part of Duke’s new “Killed By Porn Fan Club Podcast Collection.” It became a mostly Spanish-speaking band episode, except for the songs I wanted to play that were sung in Spanish that turned out to not be in Spanish at all. Anyway, you get to hear: Ultimo Resorte, Polo Pepe, Los Explosives, Los Psychos, the Vexors, y mucho, mucho mas.

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June is here again; the time of the year that makes power pop relevant. The season and the kind of music that makes you want to wash the grease out of your hair and go into the shark-infested waters of love. Sink or swim, or a bit of both, Killed By Porn knows your filthy ass is in line and on time for this raucous collection of sweet jams to put you on the main road…wave…whatever; I know ya heard of that.

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Killed By Porn assumes that if you listen to this podcast, you’re probably that kind of person who J’s off on records all day long. No one’s judging you; just try to not make it too obvious.

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Duke tries something he’s wanted to do for a long time here: he puts his iPod on shuffle and lets it play like that throughout the whole podcast! That’s right, Duke has no control this time; it’s all up to whatever weird-ass mechanism that makes the iPod’s shuffle function work. Be that as it may, it still is Duke’s iPod, so you know the force of Killed By Porn is Strong in it.

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Duke has dumped Lucy and has returned to producing Killed By Porn solo, so here’s episode 53, sickos. No teaser this time, you’re just going to have to go into this one naked.

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Host: Duke Eastwood

Duke Eastwood deals with a pain in the ass called Lucy Lux of the Apocalypstick! show and they team up to make a podcast together. It’s one big cluster fuck, so tune in for all the fun!

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Duke knows everyone out there is doing a tribute to Lux Interior, and he doesn’t give a fuck, he’s doing one, too. Lux was not only important as a rock ‘n’ roll musician, but also one of the coolest rock ‘n’ roll DJs of all time. Because of him I know about a whole mess of rock ‘n’ roll personnel that I would have never known about otherwise. In this tribute I play all the songs I know about specifically because of Lux himself. So enjoy it and don’t get too sentimental. Remember, Lux would have wanted you to “stay sick.”

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It’s the wettest issue of Killed By Porn yet. Celebrating 50 episodes of gettin’ your gash all snotty, Duke has brought you some of the stickiest tunes you’ve ever bopped on a schmeckel to. So, sit your fine ass down and learn some shit.

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Taking from the lessons of Texas Celebrity Turkey Tribe, Duke Eastwood is giving you another installment of kick-you-in-the-face programming. So, if you’re too pussy to get into it, whatever dude. Break it down to responsibility… I make a podcast you’re supposed to listen to. You are supposed to love it!

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This podcast just keeps stooping lower and lower. Duke Eastwood almost didn’t live to see the recording of this one; more than once. But here it is, a collection of rare records thrown on one after the other to amuse your unappreciative ass. You thought he would always kiss you people’s asses? Well, you shouldn’t trust him so much. This episode is like a kick in the face, but only because we know, deep down, you love that.

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Oh Boy! Another episode of a podcast made for people who live like they’re not trying to live; well you have to listen to something between blackouts. This JAM-packed show features the Zero Boys, the Feederz, Digital Leather, the Rotters, and a few other bands your dumb-ass friends don’t know about, but you’re going to love; you diabolically cool muthafuckas youz!

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If you thought party-boy time was reserved for the weekends, then you should know by now that it’s not, because Killed By Porn #46 is here to grind its most intimate of areas all over your ignorant ass. It’s one more thing to identify with as you shower yourself off in a cheap motel after a scandalous night. Another president to keep you guilt free when shame tries to run you rampant; A reminder to you that there is always someone more filthy than you out there somewhere; and that no matter what crazy shit you like to do, Killed By Porn is the soundtrack for your wicked-sick life.

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Fuck all that election shit! Is whatever happens in the election going to change the fact that you like to smoke weed and try to get in the pants off almost everyone you meet? No! Now don’t get Duke Eastwood wrong, the only place he wants to see more of Sarah Palin’s face is in his pillow; but, you can only “vote” for so much. Just go ahead and celebrate the fact that you’re a dirt bag that no candidate would stand behind with the sounds of the Jacuzzi Boys, GG Allin, DMZ, Supercharger, the Functional Blackouts, and tons more. Start stickin’ it to the man, whoever it’ll be, right now with Killed By Porn!

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Alright, why are you reading this? You should have already listened to this podcast. Duke Eastwood is going to teach you about life today. You should have woken up an hour earlier than you did just to have listened to this today; no, yesterday. Today we’ve got for you music from: the Simpletones, Hunx and His Punx, Volt, No Bunny, the Smith Westerns, Plasticland… all that and more. Let’s go cave people!

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You Weren’t There

Host: Duke Eastwood

Recently Duke Eastwood was a DJ at an L.A. screening of the film “You Weren’t There,” a documentary about Chicago punk spanning 1977 through 1984. After digging up all relevant records and putting the set together, then listening to its power, he decided the set was too amazing to just be heard that one night in a loud, crowded theater; so here it is! Hear tracks from Windy City giants such as the Effigies, Strike Under, Naked Raygun, the Mentally Ill, Articles of Fairth, Big Black, and many, many more. After you realize you wish you had been there, go over to www.regressivefilms.com and check out the film for yourself!

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