Katy on Wellbeing

Women on the Edge of Evolution

2010-03-21T18:51:01-04:00

In my last post, I said that there are many pioneering women out exploring the edge of what it means to live most fully as a person and as a woman. What it means to live your best life individually, and also as an active, evolving member of society. Spiritual leaders, film-makers, writers, musicians, teachers, social activists, psychologists, scientists, business women.

A great way to hear and be inspired by many of them is through a terrific free tele-seminar series called "Women on the Edge of Evolution: Awakening to the power to co-create our lives and shape our collective future". This series is produced by transformational coaches and visionaries Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit. Interested people can listen and participate on the live calls, or download recordings afterward. Here are the talks currently available in the archives:

Awakening the New Feminine Power - with Claire Zammit and Katherine Woodward Thomas
Fearless Love: Living lives of searing authenticity and audacious courage - with singer / song-writer Melissa Etheridge
Answering the Call: Life is talking. Are you listening? - with Reverend / teacher / speaker August Gold
Celebrating the Differences in Our World: Creating a thriving global community - with speaker / author / life coach Peggy O'Neill
Shining the Spotlight on Your Mission - with publicist / marketer Arielle Ford
Igniting a Consciousness of Change: How to be the solution - with spiritual activist / peace-builder Eisha Mason
Turning the Tide: Restoring the feminine and reclaiming our whole selves - with Bioneers co-founder Nina Simons
Creativity and Co-Creativity: What women can contribute to our evolution - with mind-body integration teacher Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks
It's Not the End of the World: Developing resilience in times of change - with integral health pioneer Dr. Joan Borysenko
Creative Activism: How to realize your highest vision for yourself and our world - with Creative Visions Foundation founder Kathy Eldon
Let it Shine: Activating your feminine radiance - with interfaith minister / life coach Devaa Haley Mitchell
Doing Well While Doing Good: The power of social entrepreneurship in action - with Spryte Loriano
Unleashing Your Passionate Creative Spirit Upon the World - with Music and Arts Director of the Agape International Spiritual Center Rickie Byers Beckwith
Creating a New World: Meshworking evolutionary intelligences for the human hive - with Integral Institute founding member Dr. Marilyn Hamilton
The SHIFT: A movie being made by a movement - with film-maker Rochelle Marmorstein
Creating Heaven on Earth: Leading our communities toward greater levels of happiness, health and wholeness - with spiritual leader Rev. Dr. Kathy Hearn
Sister Giant: Rousing the sleeping giant of American womanhood - with spiritual teacher / author Marianne Williamson
Transforming Ourselves, Transforming the World - with clinical research scientist / medical anthropologist / writer / President & CEO for the Institute of Noetic Sciences Dr. Marilyn Mandala Schlitz
Urgent Message From Mother: Gather the women, save the world - with Jungian analyst / author Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen
Having Enough of Life - with voluntary simplicity pioneer Vicki Robin
Women Leading Change: A new perspective on ourselves and our world - with CEO of the Center for Human Emergence in the Middle East Elza Maalouf
Opening to the Fierce Feminine: Tuning in to archetypes of feminine strength - with yoga teacher / Yoga Journal columnist Sally Kempton
Caring for Ourselves While Caring for the World - with yoga master and iEvolve core founder Sofia Diaz
Living Deeply in a Rapidly Changing World - with Association for Global New Thought co-founder Mary Manin Morrissey
The Feminine Co-Creator: The evolutionary woman as the next step for our species - with furturist / social innovator / conscious evolution pioneer Barbara Marx Hubbard
The Next Women's Liberation - with EnlightenNext magazine senior editor Dr. Elizabeth Debold
Embracing and Evolving the Feminine: Engaging the gender paradox - with Zen priest / integral spirituality teacher Diane Musho Hamilton
The New Woman and The New World - with scholar / philosopher / human potential pioneer Dr. Jean Houston
The Power of Our Collective Intention to Create a New World - with The Field author Lynne McTaggart

I wanted to give the complete list here to illustrate the richness of the offering. Obviously, some topics will appeal more than others. And the list, while impressive, is not exhaustive. I'd love to hear as well from Oprah, Dr. Christiane Northrup, and Regena Thomashauer (aka Mama Gena). And some business leaders and political figures. Perhaps in Round 2 ...... But overall, this is an excellent resource for evolutionary-minded women. There's something useful here for everyone.

If you're interested in this whole "evolutionary" thing, but could do without the feminine lens, there is another series you may want to check out. It's called Awakening the Impulse to Evolve. I have not started listening to the recordings yet, so I cannot give as wholehearted a recommendation as I do to the Women on the Edge ones. But some of the topics look intriguing. Here are a few:

The Evolution of Spirit: God, enlightenment and the path ahead - with integral philosopher Ken Wilbur
Lessons from Evolution: Learning to walk in the rhythm of life - with biologist / futurist Dr. Elisabet Sahtouris
A Moral Imperative to Transform - with EnlightenNext founder / evolutionary enlightenment teacher Andrew Cohen
Learning to Live in a Living Universe - with futurist / voluntary simplicity leader Duane Elgin
Reinventing the World: Creating a new cosmology - with cosmologist Brian Swimme

In summary: three cheers for Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit, and hurray for the iPod!! Should I worry that there is smoke curling out of mine ..... ?

Navigating Self Actualization and the New Feminine

2010-03-18T14:12:19-04:00

This week, over a civilized lunch at Jacque's Omlettes with my friend Sarah, the conversation turned to the complex place in which we find ourselves and our women friends. It's like we're shooting the rapids at the confluence of two great psychological and social rivers. And it promises to be a long ride.

Challenge #1: Self-Actualization

We are a privileged group by world standards: well educated and enjoying an unprecedented level of personal security and social freedom. If you picture psychologist Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of human needs, we are fortunate to have the basic business of shelter and survival in hand. Also social support, and a measure of achievement. Increasingly, we are trying to navigate the less-traveled terrain of self-actualization. Maslow described self-actualization as "the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." It's easy to dismiss any terrors and growing pains in this process as nice problems to have. And indeed they are. But the need to grow in this way is no less insistent than the need for food or friendship. And the anxiety, when this need is blocked, is intense.

I am reminded of my doctoral program. The early years -- classes through comprehensive exams -- were quite structured, as we all marched lock-step through together. But then most of those support structures fell away. We were left flailing about, crafting researchable proposals, carrying out our research, and writing the dissertations. Each candidate had to find his or her individual path: by definition, unique and uncharted. The paradox was that it was virtually impossible to navigate alone. There is no way I could have done it without guidance from my advisors, companionship and intellectual play with my colleagues, and the support of friends and family. And so it is with self-actualization, with expressing our whole selves and full potential in the world: by definition a unique and ultimately personal endeavor, while also impossible to manage alone.

Challenge #2: Redefining the Feminine

Meanwhile, we're entering this stage of our lives at a time when our feminine identities, our roles as women, are also in a state of flux. The women's movement of the 1960s reflected a large-scale collective hunger to stretch beyond the traditionally feminine roles of wife and mother, care-giver and home-maker. A hunger to push and express and hazard ourselves in the wider world. The courage and determination of that generation of women, and the generation that followed, have given Sarah and me, and our peers, the platform to ask "are we there yet? Is this it?"

My sense is that western women, collectively, are feeling that this is not "it", not yet. Too many of us have, in the immortal words of Gloria Steinem, "become the men we wanted to marry". We have adopted, often with great success, traditionally masculine ways of thinking and acting at work. Then we go home and try to assume more "feminine" ways in our personal lives. The result is a pervasive feeling that something is missing, that life doesn't quite fit either at work or at home, that some essential light has gone out. Others, who have chosen to stay at home and raise their children, do so with a nagging sense that their choice is somehow unsupported or out of step.

Fortunately, this discomfort is balanced by an equally strong feeling that something new is trying to be born through us. What if we could evolve new ways of being women, that were:

Powerful and generative in the world
Deeply connected to our inner selves, other people, and the planet
Supporting the fullest development of our potential, individually and as a society
Grounded in love and respect for our bodies, and our value
Beautiful, brilliant, joyful
In loving partnership with men

What might that look like? We don't fully know yet. But something new and alive and hopeful is already beginning to come through. We're catching glimpses of it in other women and in ourselves. That itchiness you're feeling? It's collective. And the good news is that there are lots of passionate pioneering women exploring this frontier. I'll introduce some of them in my next post.

So that's what Sarah and I were talking about at lunch: the complexity of living at the intersection of these two powerful impulses, in the Wild West of so much uncharted territory. Only one thing is clear to me: the two must be engaged together. I cannot be fiercely whole as a person without being so as a woman as well. Who else is here, too? How can we help each other as we go? And what wonders can we create?

Creation and Early Spring

2010-03-16T16:06:10-04:00

Early spring has arrived in Toronto. Though the branches and flower beds are still bare, all around we feel the quickening of new life. A concentration of energy, sucking in of nourishment, and sprouting of hidden shoots, before leaves and flowers burst into form. Pairs of waterfowl are feeding on the pond in the park (mainly frozen last week; entirely thawed now), enjoying a few weeks of freedom before the commitments of nests and babies.I am feeling spring, too. I have spent the winter, such as it was, immersed in new ideas and skills. Learning to experience consciousness as infinite, non-local and generative. Reading about the emerging multi-disciplinary field of "conscious evolution". Learning how to create healthier relationships. Studying the evolution of feminine identity. Contemplating the development of a management consulting course. And with spring, like the plants, I feel the energy collecting, pushing to be organized and born in the form of writing. But also, like the plants, this new growth is still largely unmanifest. Last week, it was still "soon, but not yet". When, driven by the building pressure of the energy, and my enthusiasm for the topics, I tried to write about them, the ideas lay pale and fragmented on the page.

I was torn. On one hand, I looked at the natural world of which I am a part, and saw that everywhere creation is an organic process of allowing what needs to be born to be born. On the other hand, I am a firm believer in a modicum of discipline, and the wisdom of Karl Weick: "how do I know what I think until I see what I say?" In other words, "sit down and write, already!" This is what separates humans from plants and animals: the ability to get tied up in knots about where we are and where we are not.

From last week to this, I see several changes marking the advance of spring in the park. The ice, I've mentioned. There are shoots of new, green grass, and a few buds on the trees. The sun shines warmer, and more birds are singing. This is the change I've noticed in myself: like rising sap, the words have begun again to flow. So I will return to the unknotting of big tangled subjects like consciousness, relationship, and evolution. And every so often I'll get a piece smoothed out enough to blog about it. And I will do so inside a sense of kinship with the natural world, remembering that this is the season when we are all engaged in bringing forth something new. We are all engaged in that awesome, timeless alchemy of transmuting energy into physical form.

What is building in you, wanting to be created?

Juicy Fun 2010 - part II

2010-01-21T21:43:37-05:00

In the last post, I summarized what some of my friends are doing, or planning to do to make this year more juicy, fun, vibrant, and alive than last year. Here is my own list. It may not be necessary to do everything, all the time, but I bet it'll be fun to try!

This year, I desire to:

Physical

Live deeper in my body purely for the pleasure of it (vs. for medical reasons or because "I should exercise"). At a minimum, belly dance classes and a 90 minute massage every month.
Get strong again.
Go kayaking.
Wear bright, colorful, fun clothes -- oranges! greens! patterns!

Creative

Write, write, write.
Carry my camera everywhere. And take a class on imaginative photoshopping.
Dust off and resume my knitting project (a big, soft, purple scarf).
Develop and teach my new Management Consulting MBA course at Ivey.
Do more crafty things -- beading, painting, etc.

Social

Say "YES" to more invitations, especially ones involving different people and unusual activities.
Fall in love. Big love.
Get to know my friends and family in a deeper, more open-hearted way.

Experiential and Intellectual

Attend workshops that interest me. Richard Bartlett on Matrix Energetics in Fort Lauderdale in February. SARK on creativity etc at Hollyhock in September.
Actually read the Economist magazine that arrives at my home every week. Generally stretch my reading in terms of breadth and depth. Explore pet passions -- archeology, zoology, mythology. Fascinate myself!
Do a big cross-country road-trip. Perhaps out east to the Maritimes, or down the west coast from Vancouver to San Diego.

Just reading over this list gives me a happy hum of anticipation. Because I know I'm standing up for myself imaginatively, and making the creation of a joyful, juicy life a priority. And even on the grayest and chilliest of January days, I have plenty to look forward to!

What are YOU going to do??

Juicy Fun 2010

2010-01-17T19:31:36-05:00

Not that I have anything against "I'm going to get in shape / lose 20 lbs / be more productive" type of new year's resolutions. Goodness knows, I always have a bunch myself. But it's cold, damp and January. What I really need is inspiration!

What I really want to know is what people are doing to ensure that 2010 is more FUN than 2009. So I sent the following question out to some of my friends: "What do you plan to do (or what have you already starting doing) to make this year more FUN, RICH, INTERESTING, VIBRANT, JUICY and JOYFUL than last year?" And here are their responses:

Being Creative

Emphasize the creative. For me it's sewing, knitting, needlepoint -- all with unique, one of a kind products in mind. I give them to my local charity, hoping that someone shares my pleasure in the product, for a balance of form and function.
I'm going to try new things! Not just go to the movies every 10 minutes. I'm going to check out the theater and explore the city. Get out of my usual habits and comfort zone.
I'm opening the pathway to joy! I'm in the midst of a MAJOR paper purge with all of the things I pulled from storage from my 3-1/2 years in NYC as a writer. My intention is to let go of the past so I can take hold of my future by living in the present. Simplifying to enjoy my life. Clearing space for all my good to flow in.

Getting Out and About

A long time ago, my wife and I decided we'd take our elder daughter to Paris when she turned 10. I won't be the last man in love with her to take her to Paris, but I will be the first. Now it has turned into a family trip. So .... fun: plane trip .... rich: the Mona Lisa .... vibrant: strolling along the Champs d'Elysees .... juicy: picnic of baguette and cheese in the gardens of Versailles .... joyful: seeing the faces of all my girls as they look over Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
I am excited to reconnect with the magic that is the Pacific Ocean. Exploring tide pools, birdwatching, seeing otters and porpoises play and whales migrate. I find the ocean soothing and it's constantly changing, so you never have the same experience twice. Amazing!
I plan to travel to Belize and snorkel with my kids and hubbie, ride my bike from Perth to Kingston with a group of powerful women, and spend quality time with family and friends.
I'm attending new events, charities, and meetings for both social and business reasons. I was asked to be on the board of a start-up company by someone I met at Duke in November. The board includes people from leading companies such as Google, as well as leading e-commerce technology firms.
I have a list of the best restaurants in what will be my new city. Every month, I will go to one of those restaurants, and also to a cultural event. I will also find a reading group and a writing group (both things I already do). And I hope to dip my toes in the Caribbean .... we're thinking in March ....
I'm going to make a list of all the adventures I want to have, and when I might do them, and start going down the list. In 2010 I want to sky-dive! Every time I see someone jumping out of a plane, I want to do it myself. I also want to get back to the sports I do for fun, like ju-jitsu.

Cherishing Friends and Family

We are going to do a family triathalon, maybe several -- train together, tri together, share the moment and the fun
Finding a really unique gift for our baby brother's 40th birthday -- something that really says 1970 (not bell-bottoms!)
Spending time with my family, enjoying my new job, good meals with friends, and some camping will probably do it for me this year!
Cherishing relationships with our Sister Goddess Group and family, as well as those who are supportive of my goals in building my business.

Flirting, and More

Tonight at dinner with a girlfriend, I decided to censor myself less with men. Like our waiter, who I thought was really handsome. When he asked us what we wanted for dessert, what I wanted to say was, "I'll have a slice of YOU. With a little chocolate sauce, please." Of course, I didn't. But I did get a little flirtier with him, and I'm pretty sure I got "the look" a few times. Hmmm. Yep. I'm gonna start living dangerously and saying whatever comes to mind when I'm around attractive men. Propriety be damned.
I'm going to resume flirting with my husband, and keeping him juicy. It's amazing to me that I always need to take the lead and maintain the positive tone at home, but it's worth it, since whenever I stop things get very stale.
As a single woman now 38 years old, I have always subjected myself to this invisible pressure about what love and my life "should" look like and how that would unfold. I've decided to give up that pressure for 2010 (and beyond). So I plan to say YES to love where I find it, or where it finds me! What I mean is welcoming ALL kinds of love into my life, making more time for friends, family, myself, and not pushing that all out of the way to hold space for something I don't even know what it looks like yet! I've decided to experiment with the idea that as romantic love comes to me, all that other love is the soil it needs to grow into the kind of relationship I really desire.

Taking Special Care of Themselves

My long-time modus operandi has been to reach for food or drink as a means of temporary relief or escape, but I am so tired of the way it makes me feel! This year I am committed to exploring options that make me feel good instead of choosing the comfort and numbing and safety of what I know so well. E.g. taking time out to exercise during the day then coming back refreshed, taking a break from caffeine and sugar. I am so excited to see how these new choices create expansion in all areas of my life as I become more present, positive and have more energy.
I need to pay attention to staying juicy. I'm going to schedule a pleasure event weekly, which is a radical move for me. The event might be a massage, or spending some time shopping for clothes, since I like to wear interesting, flattering things, but I never have time to look around for them.
This year I am committed to equilibrium in all things. Balance brings more pleasure in all areas, and requires a commitment to SELF which is something that I've been unwilling or too lazy to achieve. I trust that as I become more comfortable with this process, I won't feel hesitant to say that my choice is for SELF and not simply for balance!
One thing I plan to do is buy a new wardrobe. I've started shopping, and buying new things to wear to the gym, and reorganizing my closet and drawers. I saw some great things at St. John and Saks. I visited Alice's Hair on thursday and had my hair cut and colored. She did a great job. I'm indulging in my gym membership 4-7x/week and eating healthy.
I am using all those terrific Estee Lauder products on my face, taking care of my skin. I think I see a difference already!

Thank you very much to everyone who responded so thoughtfully and generously to my question!! If you're reading this, I want to hear from you too. Let's create a great big list of inspiring ideas for a fun, juicy, ALIVE year! A list we can refer back to when things get dull. This post is turning into a book, so I'll stop here. In the next post, I'll say what I'm planning to do!

(Hey, I want to give credit where due. I created the collage in the pic, but that marvelous photo of the little girl with all the hula hoops is by Dennis Mosner.)