When you know who you are and whose you are the world becomes an exciting place. You feel confident, centered, fearless, and free.

On this special evening we’ll spend 60 minutes live with Kary Oberbrunner, author of Your Secret Name, as he teaches us how to achieve greater clarity about our identity.

On this call you’ll discover:

• An ancient promise which reveals that you have a new name written on a white stone
• The difference between your Birth Name, your Given Names, and Your Secret Name
• How men and women differ in their strategies to win at the “Name Game”
• How to overcome the chronic personal pain in your life
• How to tap into your true potential and step into the destiny your Creator designed for you
• How modern movies give us a glimpse into the story of Your Secret Name
• A community who believes in you and shares your passion for personal development

Join us for a complimentary chat (landline, cell, or skype). When you register for this exclusive event we’ll send you our private phone number (freeconferencing.com) and/or instructions how to log in with skype.

DON’T DELAY. 

Yesterday is ashes. Tomorrow is wood. Today burns brightly. -Old Eskimo Proverb

Chances are, you have at least one relationship where conflict currently exists. This is normal and natural. However, the goal is for that conflict to be resolved.

Enter stage right my friend Linda Outka of Breakthrough Solutions. Linda is experienced in this area and agreed to sit down with me and shed a little light on the subject. I trust it will add value to you and help you have a breakthrough solution in one of your relationships that might be stuck.

• How did you find your niche in conflict resolution?

Immediately after college, I traveled with a singing and drama team touring the U.S. and Canada. Nine women, four men in a van for nine months…conflict was inevitable. I learned the importance of talking out disagreements rather than letting them fester. I realized that when two people communicate with openness, honesty and respect, the conflict gets resolved and the relationship grows. 

Since that time, employee relations roles have followed me because I am passionate about helping people work through their interpersonal stress. I believe life it too short and people are too valuable to build walls and shut each other out. We can live better. 

• What is the source of conflict in personal and professional relationships?

When we don’t understand why our co-workers and family members do what they do, we make up stories in our heads. And then we act as if these stories are true. This gets us into trouble because we act on our faulty assumptions. If we slow down, get off autopilot and untangle truth from stories, that’s the beginning of trying to understand the other person’s reality and resolve conflict. 

Let me give you an example. When was the last time you got cut off in traffic? What stories did you make up about the other driver? “That jerk! He knew I was here and he cut in front of me anyway.” Or “That idiot! He thinks he’s the only one on the road!”

On the other hand, think about the last time you accidentally cut someone else off in traffic. Was it because you were distracted or had a lot on your mind? Do you think that other driver gave you the “benefit of the doubt” you deserved?

When we make positive assumptions about people rather than negative ones, we stay in a better mood and have more clarity in our thinking. We can check the accuracy of our stories with curiosity rather than judgment. Simply put…when we assume positive intentions rather than negative intentions, we don’t damage our relationships. 

• What steps can a person take to resolve conflict in their personal and professional life?

If you have a difficult conversation you need to have with someone, I would recommend the following steps: 

• Prepare for the conversation beforehand.
• Untangled fact from stories.
• What are the stories I am telling myself about the other person?
• What are the facts?
• What am I feeling? (State as “I feel…”)
• What could have been their positive intention? (How could a “reasonable” person do what they did?)
• What have I done (or not done) that could have contributed to the problem?
• What questions can I ask that communicate curiosity rather than judgment? (avoiding “why” questions)
• Set up a time to meet face to face with the other person. Start by asking them curious questions. “Jump into their shoes” and listen to understand their perspective. Sometimes the conflict is resolved at this stage because when people truly understand each other’s perspective, the conflict can dissipate. 
• Finally, describe your perspective, referencing facts, not assumptions. Use “I” rather than “you” in your conversation, and carefully avoid blame.

This process seems simple, but I’ve seen it work countless times. The key is creating an  environment of emotional safety, openness and respect.

• What is Breakthrough Solutions?

Breakthrough Solutions is about creating space where people feel safe to be real. Where people find common ground and new perspective when they are in conflict with one another. Where people explore new insights in places they feel stuck and discover breakthrough solutions that open doors to their potential. This can be in the context of a coaching relationship, a team building session, or a workshop.

Linda Outka has been a coach, trainer and speaker in the business world for nearly 20 years and she is certified as a coach, trainer and speaker with the John Maxwell Team. She owns Breakthrough Solutions, which creates space where people feel safe to be real and resolve conflicts in their personal and professional lives. Linda is called to make an eternal impact in both the church and the marketplace setting.

Lately, I’ve been immersing myself in her life and the life of her husband – Mark Kelly.

Not for her public policies or her stance on issues.

For something deeper, for her courage.

And her courage does what all courage does – it inspires others.

She stepped down this week, but she hasn’t given up her dream.

Sometimes we have to step back in order to move forward. 

But you can only do this if you know what you want and if you know where you want to go.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -Soren Kierkegaard

 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here’s to your legacy. Don’t Play Small.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here’s the first one. I hope it encourages you.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Live in or near Columbus, OH? Let’s do breakfast this Wednesday. Details here or below.

Join TechColumbus for our continuing Business Breakfast Series: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow them and people will follow you.

Everything rises and falls on leadership: your team, your job, your kids, your marriage, your charity, and even your community. Leadership can be learned and like most subjects in life – leadership is comprised and governed by laws. Even if you’re ignorant of these laws, you’re not immune from them. They’re affecting you right now.

According to New York Times Best-Selling author John Maxwell, the #1 leadership guru in the world, “the greater the number of laws you learn, the better you will become. Each law is like a tool, ready to be picked up and used to help you achieve your dreams and add value to other people.”

Come join others leaders for a fun and educational breakfast as we learn these laws and discover practical tools and strategies to apply them in our lives immediately.
Continental Breakfast Provided

Thanks to WCBE for sponsoring this event.

Speaker Details:

Kary Oberbrunner earned a Doctorate in Transformational Leadership. He founded Redeem the Day, a movement connecting people to a process that ignites their souls on fire. Author of 4 books on self-leadership, he is a pastor at Grace Church in Powell and a Founding Partner on the John Maxwell Team. Kary has been interviewed on hundreds of TV and radio shows for his perspective on life, personal growth, faith, and leadership. More at www.karyoberbrunner.com

Want it? You got it.

In order to build their business most people make the mistake of putting their attention on building their business.

This will only produce minimal results. 

• The #1 secret for building your business is BUILDING YOURSELF. 

Your business will never outperform your abilities. You are the lid on your business and your results. And in order to raise your lid you need to get better.

Need help on that? Let’s talk.

Don’t be a victim and wait for luck to smile upon you. Take action and the smile will come.

Negative? Not intending to be. I’m just as hopeful as anybody else. I want the New Year to bring surprises, blessings, and inspiration.

But the truth is, I know a secret. I know how you can actually cheat the system. It has nothing to do with dumb luck, chance, or good fortune. Instead, it has everything to do with what you can control…yourself. I’m not saying you can escape trial or pain, God promises us that we’ll have our share. But I am saying you can choose your response ahead of time.

You can live your life by design or by default. It’s your choice.

So here’s 12 reasons to guarantee your 2012 won’t be any different. (My advice? Do the opposite and then sit back and watch what happens):

1. You have self-limiting beliefs: I can’t. I’m not smart enough. I don’t have the money. I’ve failed before. Etc….
2. You can’t make decisions: You believe in “keeping your options.” Little do you know it’s killing you.
3. You don’t know what you want: The truth is that If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never get what you want.
4. You haven’t killed your biggest critic: Quit celebrating the drama inside your head. Instead, be the lead in your own life.
5. You’re not an arsonist: You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t light others up if you’re not on fire.
6. You don’t want to make your mark: Take action. Get off the bench. Get in the game.
7. You believe you’re lacking what you need: Because you think your impoverished you live in poverty.
8. You fill your life with noise: Pascal said it best, “Distraction entertains us and leads us imperceptibly to death.”
9. You’re asking the wrong question: When you ask the wrong question you get the wrong answer. You should not ask, what will it cost you to act? You should ask what will it cost you NOT to act?
10. You choose to be a victim rather than a victor: We are either Victims (we let the world happen to us) or Victors (we happen to the world).
11. You’re too scared to live your dream: Faith or Fear? One of them is pumping through your veins right now.
12. You give God too much credit: We don’t take risks. We blame God. We look to others to tell us what to do.

A man at war with himself is at war with the world.