Ever since I was young he had a desire, an idea, a picture of the future. Some of his dreams were quite interesting (The Great American Ruler Race, The Lawn Ranger, Muskrat Mike).

On strengths finder tests I rank right up there with futuristic as one of my top 5. Thanks dad.

Today he’s 60. But we almost lost him at 40. I’m blessed he’s still with us.

He’s still dreaming today. His latest dream is called The New Man Project – a nonprofit designed to help prisoners find hope and redemption. He’s even made the news because of it. Take a peek at his dream:

• Waukesha Patch
• Wisconsin Christian News
• Project Return

Happy Birthday Dad!

(Listen here)

On February 15, 2012 callers from all over the world jumped on for a unique conference call. In a conversational chat we discovered truths from Your Secret Name that helped us gain greater clarity about who we are and whose we are.

When you understand this, the world becomes an exciting place. You feel confident, centered, fearless, and free.

Also, take some other steps in discovering Your Secret Name:

• Listen to the call from February 15
• Watch Kary’s 700 Club Interview
• Take the Your Secret Name Test
• Watch the Your Secret Name Trailer
• Attend the next Your Secret Name conference
• Join our Secret Name Team

I’m sharing a special teaching. Here’s 7 truths you will discover:

1. An ancient promise which reveals that you have a new name written on a white stone
2. The difference between your Birth Name, your Given Names, and Your Secret Name
3. How men and women differ in their strategies to win at the “Name Game”
4. How to overcome the chronic personal pain in your life
5. How to tap into your true potential and step into the destiny your Creator designed for you
6. How modern movies give us a glimpse into the story of Your Secret Name
7. A community who believes in you and shares your passion for personal development

Here are 3 tips to make a killer endorsement (and an example of one):

1. Real - Say something believable. Write from the heart. It shows.
2. Risky –  Boring won’t work. Be bold. Safe stinks.
3. Robust – Make every word count. Capture the essence of the person.

Here’s an example of a recent endorsement I gave Tim Willard (solo) and another one I gave for Jason Locy & Tim Willard (duo) authors of Veneer:

When you know who you are and whose you are the world becomes an exciting place. You feel confident, centered, fearless, and free.

On this special evening we’ll spend 60 minutes live with Kary Oberbrunner, author of Your Secret Name, as he teaches us how to achieve greater clarity about our identity.

On this call you’ll discover:

• An ancient promise which reveals that you have a new name written on a white stone
• The difference between your Birth Name, your Given Names, and Your Secret Name
• How men and women differ in their strategies to win at the “Name Game”
• How to overcome the chronic personal pain in your life
• How to tap into your true potential and step into the destiny your Creator designed for you
• How modern movies give us a glimpse into the story of Your Secret Name
• A community who believes in you and shares your passion for personal development

Join us for a complimentary chat (landline, cell, or skype). When you register for this exclusive event we’ll send you our private phone number (freeconferencing.com) and/or instructions how to log in with skype.

DON’T DELAY. 

Yesterday is ashes. Tomorrow is wood. Today burns brightly. -Old Eskimo Proverb

Chances are, you have at least one relationship where conflict currently exists. This is normal and natural. However, the goal is for that conflict to be resolved.

Enter stage right my friend Linda Outka of Breakthrough Solutions. Linda is experienced in this area and agreed to sit down with me and shed a little light on the subject. I trust it will add value to you and help you have a breakthrough solution in one of your relationships that might be stuck.

• How did you find your niche in conflict resolution?

Immediately after college, I traveled with a singing and drama team touring the U.S. and Canada. Nine women, four men in a van for nine months…conflict was inevitable. I learned the importance of talking out disagreements rather than letting them fester. I realized that when two people communicate with openness, honesty and respect, the conflict gets resolved and the relationship grows. 

Since that time, employee relations roles have followed me because I am passionate about helping people work through their interpersonal stress. I believe life it too short and people are too valuable to build walls and shut each other out. We can live better. 

• What is the source of conflict in personal and professional relationships?

When we don’t understand why our co-workers and family members do what they do, we make up stories in our heads. And then we act as if these stories are true. This gets us into trouble because we act on our faulty assumptions. If we slow down, get off autopilot and untangle truth from stories, that’s the beginning of trying to understand the other person’s reality and resolve conflict. 

Let me give you an example. When was the last time you got cut off in traffic? What stories did you make up about the other driver? “That jerk! He knew I was here and he cut in front of me anyway.” Or “That idiot! He thinks he’s the only one on the road!”

On the other hand, think about the last time you accidentally cut someone else off in traffic. Was it because you were distracted or had a lot on your mind? Do you think that other driver gave you the “benefit of the doubt” you deserved?

When we make positive assumptions about people rather than negative ones, we stay in a better mood and have more clarity in our thinking. We can check the accuracy of our stories with curiosity rather than judgment. Simply put…when we assume positive intentions rather than negative intentions, we don’t damage our relationships. 

• What steps can a person take to resolve conflict in their personal and professional life?

If you have a difficult conversation you need to have with someone, I would recommend the following steps: 

• Prepare for the conversation beforehand.
• Untangled fact from stories.
• What are the stories I am telling myself about the other person?
• What are the facts?
• What am I feeling? (State as “I feel…”)
• What could have been their positive intention? (How could a “reasonable” person do what they did?)
• What have I done (or not done) that could have contributed to the problem?
• What questions can I ask that communicate curiosity rather than judgment? (avoiding “why” questions)
• Set up a time to meet face to face with the other person. Start by asking them curious questions. “Jump into their shoes” and listen to understand their perspective. Sometimes the conflict is resolved at this stage because when people truly understand each other’s perspective, the conflict can dissipate. 
• Finally, describe your perspective, referencing facts, not assumptions. Use “I” rather than “you” in your conversation, and carefully avoid blame.

This process seems simple, but I’ve seen it work countless times. The key is creating an  environment of emotional safety, openness and respect.

• What is Breakthrough Solutions?

Breakthrough Solutions is about creating space where people feel safe to be real. Where people find common ground and new perspective when they are in conflict with one another. Where people explore new insights in places they feel stuck and discover breakthrough solutions that open doors to their potential. This can be in the context of a coaching relationship, a team building session, or a workshop.

Linda Outka has been a coach, trainer and speaker in the business world for nearly 20 years and she is certified as a coach, trainer and speaker with the John Maxwell Team. She owns Breakthrough Solutions, which creates space where people feel safe to be real and resolve conflicts in their personal and professional lives. Linda is called to make an eternal impact in both the church and the marketplace setting.

Lately, I’ve been immersing myself in her life and the life of her husband – Mark Kelly.

Not for her public policies or her stance on issues.

For something deeper, for her courage.

And her courage does what all courage does – it inspires others.

She stepped down this week, but she hasn’t given up her dream.

Sometimes we have to step back in order to move forward. 

But you can only do this if you know what you want and if you know where you want to go.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -Soren Kierkegaard

 

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Here’s to your legacy. Don’t Play Small.

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Here’s the first one. I hope it encourages you.

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