So we were very keen to get our hands on this latest JAV porn epic, the Black English Conversation School Teacher Gyaru Orgy, in which a tall black Eikaiwa teacher finds himself giving VERY practical English tips to a group of gyaru ladies.

Group sex, interracial Japanese-on-black sex… Are we having fun or what?!

We also love the neat touch about the school’s name, “MOVA”, no relation to any other major English conversation chain in Japan there, then!

The two hour epic stars Rio Sakura, Tsubasa Miyashita, Kirara Hoshizaki, Ema Kizaki, and Runa… plus one very, very luck black guy!

If you like interracial porn, we recommend you check these titles out!

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Its makers say it is a “buttocks humanoid that represents emotions with visual and tactual [sic] transformation of the muscles”.

We say it’s the best sex machine that never was!

Yes, now the genius of Japanese engineering has been directed not to saving the country from its energy crisis, food shortage or any of the litany of other issues. Instead, there is Shiri, a realistic ass robot with “organic, artificial muscles”.

Made using a urethane skeleton, there is a Gluteus Maximus Actuator — whatever that means — which can inflate and “move” the buttocks in the apparently “emotional” way.

Well, we have no doubt that Shiri looks and feels ultra-realistic. But the developers missed one vital element! The hole!

Until that gets added, we will content ourselves with some nice idol ass.

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Just released for Android phones, the Moe-yu app takes two concepts (moe and bathing) and lets users enjoy sensual bathing with special bishojo character Momori. Naturally Momori also talks to you (voiced by Asumi Kana) so you can, well, think you are having a conversation with a real girlfriend.

You can change backgrounds, and use the camera and augmented reality technology so that it even seems that the girl is actually in your bath at home with you!

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Born in Osaka in 1980, Miho is little in the public eye these days after she starting having children — she’s now got three kids! — so we will have to make do with some lovely images from a few years ago.

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It is very common for husbands to be “serviced” in this way and it can often become a form of bonding, or even foreplay, for couples. Psychologists of course will read all sorts of mother fantasies into this relationship.

Even the tool used is different, a kind of bamboo hook with a bit of cotton on the end. Apparently it is more effective for cleaning and also safer. (Cotton buds famously end up ramming more bad stuff deeper into your canals.)

There are also professional mimi-kaki clinics, places where a man can go and get his ears cleaned while resting his head in a girl’s lap, and telling her all about his stresses and problems. If all this sounds like a kind of hairdressers-meets-hostess club, then they would be right! There is even at least one major chain with multiple branches.

It is also obviously just a hop, skip and ear swipe away from a sex club, and many fuzoku use “mimi-kaki” as a cover word for blatant sexual services.

I personally quite like giving Taro or Tadashi’s ears a clean (it makes a change from giving head!) and listening to their work woes. It is a kind of counseling and the power of course is all in the hands of the female!

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Well, this otaku took it a step further.

He wanted to squeeze breasts and pump out milk so bad that he designed a computer software system that lets him do that to 2D images on a screen!

Using a camera and a PC to pinpoint the spot of “milk discharge”, he crafted a program whereby he can touch the breast on the screen and then it produces an instantaneous fountain of milk!

Here’s the video… Keep watching for the really creepy stuff where the girls get younger. (Tip: since this is Nico Nico Douga, if you want to turn off the scrolling comments then click the speech bubble icon at the bottom.)

Our advice to this gentleman would be to get your hands on some milky mother pornography or one of KanojoToys’ great oppai breast toys.

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Here’s another super example, the Tomeko Idol, a “virtual onahole with superbody feeling”!

It’s based on the anime mascot of an adult toys series and is made from Yawahada, a new material that is odor-free and long-lasting. Just imagine pushing yourself slowly into a cute Harajuku girl with silly cat ears.

Here’s how KanojoToys describe it:

The gaping lips-style entrance tightens to a long and narrow nub-lined passage, finishing in an air pocket vacuum that will put pressure and pleasure on your head as you plug and pump away. Tomeko herself is a cute but busty eighteen year old Tokyo office lady and idol, ripe for all your anime fantasies.

And Tomeko feels as good she sounds…

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If you have some imagination and a bit of money, you can invest in one of the massive range of dolls around — from blow-up air dolls to lap cushions, “love cushions” to full-out silicone love dolls from Orient Industry.

Otaku in particular have always liked to have cushions of their loved ones as pillows-cum-partners. This is probably more out of companionship than anything physical (i.e. they don’t actually fuck the pillows… maybe).

Now some boffins have developed Hugvie, a huggable cushion… with a heartbeat! You just slip in your phone and then you can transform the cushion into something — or someone — who feels real.

The idea is you put in the phone while you are talking to someone special. The “vibrators” and sensors match the characteristics of the person’s voice, so you can basically be hugging the person on the other end of the line.

It doesn’t surprise us at all that this Hugvie is from the same wacky scientist who has been traversing the “uncanny valley” with his android mannequins, Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro.

Now all they need to do is equip the Hugvie with som breasts and a face, and hey presto, this one will be a bestseller! Professor Ishiguro even talks several times very temptingly of “vibrators” and making it more “human-like”. (He forgot that other vital element, the hole!)

Well, we know where to go if we want full realism in a companion…

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From photography exhibitions to design projects, they dabble their hand in just about anything, whether it has a direct correlation with sales or the adult industry, or not. They seem just to care about working with interesting people, rather than always pursuing only the bottom line all the time. Our kinda company!

Tengu A Night (a play on their name — Tengu is the name of the naughty long-nosed mythical creature) is a special music event happening at Tokyo’s top night club, Womb, in Shibuya. (One of the famous things about Womb is that it is located deep inside the love hotel district too, which is kind of appropriate.)

Tenga has organized a batch of cool and exciting music artists and DJs to spin the decks for partygoers, including JAV actress Sumire Matsu. And the best thing? Tenga are distributing free Tenga Eggs for everyone!

Well, you can be certain of one thing. Come May 25th, us TokyoKinky bloggers will be there in force on the dance floor.

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In fact, you can get even more of the former AKB48 star than usual with this Acchan Kojiri masturbator, a realistic tight onahole which, very unofficially, models itself on Atsuko’s (aka Acchan) cute small butt (kojiri).

Not only is this an onahole masturbator with a hole to pleasure yourself, there is also a pair of Acchan’s sexy panties AND even lotion based on her own love juices.

This is of course not designated official merchandise created by the AKB48 Yasushi Akimoto monster consumerist machine — but that doesn’t mean it isn’t good! In fact, if you like cute idols with pert little asses, then this Acchan Kojiri is what you have been waiting for!

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