Just Peachy Baby Blog

A Mompreneur Closes The Door On Business

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:06:00 +0000

I just filed papers for the dissolution of a business entity. Which means I'm closing down the business.

It was a very hard decision because I had invested so much blood, sweat and tears into the whole thing. Not just me. But, my family, too. I promised Hubby that it'll all be on me. No sweat off his back.

All I've got to say is that I couldn't keep that promise.

Don't let anyone tell you that starting a business is a piece of cake.

Just do it! the Nike commercial cheers!

Well, starting a business is thrilling.

No one starts a business envisioning it’s doors closing. No, in the eyes of the entrepreneur, the land appears ripe for opportunity, just waiting to be claimed. The market won’t even know what’s gonna hit them. Watch out, ‘cuz here I come!

Just two years ago, I was a doe-eyed new mommy, with a plan to generate income while being a stay-at-home mom. The work I did previously didn’t come in a part-time role. So, I figured with over a decade of experience successfully leading product teams at Fortune 500 companies to capture new markets, I had what it took to run my own business.

Finally, a chance to be my own boss and run things the way I wanted! A mompreneur. I liked the sound of that!

I settled on creating USA-made quality, designer shopping cart covers. I spent nine months doing the market research, creating a business plan, and developing the product before launching in the fall 2007.

Everything started off well. Customers loved the product. Soon, I saw myself placing my second and third production orders. I was ecstatic. I was even receiving unsolicited requests from boutiques to place orders.

It looked like my dream of enjoying motherhood with a flexible work-at-home schedule was coming true.

Then, the stock market crashed in the fall of 2008. And it was just awful.

Along with every other business in America who was stocked up for the upcoming holiday shopping frenzy, I was stuck with a ton of product. I thought back to what Jedi Master Yoda said to young Luke Skywalker about being afraid, “You will be. You will be.” And I was. Very.

The funny thing is that Just Peachy Baby did survive the economic winter. I slashed prices and put everything on clearance. Thankfully, I was able to clear inventory and got out of the mess relatively unscathed, compared to what could have been.

Something unexpected happened in that terrible time of stress and uncertainty, when the business was on the ER table.

I was hit with a moment of clarity around what was really important to me.

Is this business really my passion? Would I willing to go through another round of going into the red for this “child” of mine?

I was poised and positioned to take the business to the next level of retailing and creating new distribution channels. But, did I still have any fight left in me? Did I want to put another chunk of our family finances on the table during these difficult economic times?

The answer was no. Although there is something to be said about cutting your losses, my story did not end in the negative.

You see, I discovered what my true passion was through the back window of this online business. Jill Asher, co-founder of Silicon Valley Moms Blog, contacted me, after checking out my business blog, Just Peachy Baby Blog. I joined the SVMoms team of writers, and my lifelong passion for writing finally found an outlet.

I found that my passion for writing grew bigger and stronger than any work I had given myself to. I started out with a business blog, but it evolved into a space for me to express my parenting adventures. Now, my writing passion has launched a more personal blog about my spirituality, FaithBarista.

Blogging stayed with me through my seasons of motherhood and running a small business. I hit my true stride in writing.

I have always wanted to be a writer. But, due to family circumstances, I choose an engineering degree, the more practical choice for reliable income. At the time, writing was a luxury that was there for others, but not me.

This is no longer true. Thank goodness for mishaps in life. Sometimes, they bring us a gift unexpected.

When I started this business, I would've never guessed that one day I'd be closing it's doors, only to walk through another that would open up a hidden life passion.

One dream has ended. But, another dream has begun.

I am a blogger. I am a writer. I am alive.

A Shout Out To Formula Feeding Mommies

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:06:00 +0000

Psst... I'm bottle feeding my second child. Yes, I'm letting it be known. Formula feeding has been in effect since week three of my baby's new life. And I am at peace with not breastfeeding.

There. I've said it. I formula feed with pride. This is a shout out for all the mommas who felt like I did initially. Guilty and in the closet.

You see, I breastfed my first baby 100% until he was self-weaned at seven months old. I was brainwashed with the mantra that if I wanted to mother responsibly, breastfeeding was at the top of the list, next to making sure I had a mobile hanging over his crib.

I was told I'd be giving the gift that keeps giving: high IQ, impeccable immunity, resistant to allergies, and the big zinger: bonding with my baby, which led to faster language acquisition and baby/child connection.

Well, I'm here to tell you that I was a case study in breastfeeding from hell. I had overactive letdown, which meant baby got sprayed, I had to feed practically upside down, at a backward incline to slow the flow. Add on top of that my baby had acid reflux, and that meant no acid inducing allergens: no gluten, no pasta, no pasta, no tomatoes, no broccoli, cauliflower, beans, peas, no seasoning except salt. I lost 25 lbs in six weeks!

The outcome? TJ still got hit with a bad virus that attackes the lungs at two months and inherited a bad case of eczema at four months. Not to mention a string of every other cold that winter (no, baby was not in day care).

So, when my second baby, CJ, came on the scene and I became a mom of two boys, the thought of ditching breastfeeding crossed my mind, like a secret escape hatch in a prison cell. I told myself, if this baby has acid reflux also, and I end up going crazy trying to breastfeed with a three year old pulling at me, breastfeeding has got to go.

I placed my sanity above breastmilk.

Of course, I was racked with guilt as I even considered feeding CJ formula.

But, it turned out my decision to stop breastfeeding was eventually made for me.

CJ did end up having acid reflux, just like his brother. Crying 24x7 for 5 days straight, CJ was writhing in pain from the breastmilk. I weaned myself from all the possible allergens, but baby was still throwing up from the acid coming back up his esophogus.

After hearing baby scream and cry out of pain one too many weeks, I hesitantly switched to formula. And guess what? The lactose free formula gave my baby hours of rest and pain-free sleeping.

And that meant everything to me.

It has taken me a couple months to accept that I am doing nothing but the best for my second baby, without breastfeeding. And now that CJ is four months old, happy, giggling, babbling, and super cute, without a sneeze (no colds at all!), I know that I did the right thing.

I am happy, feeding times were quick and easy, which made the transition to having two boys smoother. I've been able to read to TJ while bottle feeding CJ easily. And big brother loves helping with feeding times, too.

Encouragement also dropped by early on when I was guilt racked about considering formula feeding, but putting having this blog post cross my path from SVMoms: Is There A Case Against Breastfeeding?

It prepared me for all the questions and "helpful" advice and comments I was sure to receive as I was out and about bottle feeding my baby. The post mentioned a journalist case study in the a journalist's case study by Hana Rosin, in the Atlantic:

"The evidence on IQs is intriguing but not all that compelling, and at best suggests a small advantage, perhaps five points; an individual kid’s IQ score can vary that much from test to test or day to day."

Okay, 5 points less on his IQ. I can handle that. Heck, Hubby and I both grew up on formula in the 70's, and we didn't turn out too shabby (although Hubby still thinks I was dropped on my head as an infant).

Now, as you can see from today's posted picture, I am so comfortable with formula feeding, that I orderd a teapot of hot water just for that purpose. And bottle fed him on a lunch "date" with Hubby.

A pain-free baby and a happy mommy? Thai never tasted so good.

So, next time you see a mommy bottle feeding her baby, just smile and say, "What a beautiful baby." I promise you, it will make the noon day sun shine on that mommy's heart.

And to all the formula feeding mommies out there.. You are giving the best to your baby, whenever you make a choice for a happy family, a happy baby, and a happy mommy!

Are you a formula feeding mommy?

How do you feel when you see a mommy bottle feed her baby?

Fav Foods: NOT! Deep Fried Twinkies

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Deep fried twinkles. Yes. Someone actually sells this atrocity. I caught sight of them at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk here in Northern California.

What's worse is that they're being sold is because people are actually buying and injesting these things.

This is just wrong, people!

Deep fried twinkies don't even qualify to be called food. I took a peak because I was curious what they looked like. Uh. They didn't even look tempting. At all.

Would you eat one of these? Or if you have, tell me, what was it like?

Don't get me wrong. I eat plenty of junk food when I'm out on vacation. But, this? No, thanks. I'll stick to my ice cream, popcorn, and candy apples.

Book Review: Freaky Friday, Except Dad Becomes Mom For A Year

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:38:00 +0000

Oh, I love a good "payback" movie. You know what I'm talkin' about. Sometimes, someone needs to learn a lesson the hard way. By the time only popcorn kernals are left and you're trying to avoid crunching your molar caps off, the unappreciative sinner changes into a repentant believer, never again look at life the same ever again. This is the conversion storyline in Michael Miller's What Happened To The Girl I Married, as the author steps into life as a stay-at-home mom for an entire year.

And boy, did I love the "payback". Every page I turned, I was shouting, "Honey! Come here! LISTEN TO THIS!" And I'd start following Hubby around the house, reading excerpts aloud to him.

Hubby rolled his eyes when I first picked up my review copy from the mailbox. "Oh, great. Is this book gonna make you mad at me?"

No. In fact, it wasn't the husband bashing book my Hubby feared. I was just making him sweat. I knew he'd like what I was gonna read to him because Miller voiced my husband's unspoken complaints.

Especially about the laundry.

"Just listen, Honey. You'll like it. The author feels the same way you feel about laundry."

"Okay." Hubby concedes, as he mixes CJ's evening bottle. Hubby is already a wonderful husband, starting his night job after coming home from his day job at the office.

Hubby actually doesn't deserve any bashing at all. But, um, laundry has been silent sore point for Hubby. Although he never has said anything, I can always read his brain waves about this.

"As a customer of the existing laundry process [Hubby starts laughing], I had a good idea where the problems lied.

My very logical theory was that by changing the sorting criteria, folding frequency and put-away methodology, I could quickly streamline the process [Hubby cheers "YES!"] ...

Gone would be the giant pile of clean, wrinkled laundry that moved from room to room ["EXACTLY! Hubby pontificates.] ...

.. that means clean clothes folded into our dreawers when we need them -- without it taking days to complete ["THAT'S WHAT I SAY! Doesn't that make sense? Why is this so difficult?"] Hubby emerges from his shell!

.. I was confident it was achievable."

Ah, I got Hubby where I want him. Miller pins him down for me. And voila! In just a few paragraphs later, The pile wins. Miller learns through actually executing his methodology, albeit streamlined, inefficiencies eliminated just *does *not *work.

One of his own has 'fessed up. Hubby has conceded on the laundry because of this mini-book reading that early evening.

Unlike Miller, Hubby actually does not want to take a year off his wonderful day job to live my life as a stay-at-home mom in order to learn this lesson first hand. He is smart and is willing to take Miller's word for it.

Miller spends ten chapters writing out his confessional of his error-of-his-ways, as a spouse who was the sole breadwinner of the family. And they are spot on. My favorites were "It's Just an Inefficient Process -- Household Chores" and "So Where's the Applause? -- Recognition and Appreciation".

The great thing about this book is that my Hubby loved me reading it to him too. It wasn't Hubby Bashing material, and I wasn't mad at him after reading it.

In fact, we've had lots of laughter from it. Miller writes from a office guy's perspective, meaning full of Dilbertesque buzz words, from my prior corporate life. Since we're both from cubicle-land professionally, we appreciated a corporation's perspective on the stay-at-home job.

By the end of the read, I felt even more empowered about my life as a stay-at-home mom. It re-emphasized the monstrosity of the job. It lessens the the guilt I often inflict on myself when I take what little time off for my writing, my walks, my girlfriend outings, and spending money on regular date nights.

Being a stay-at-home mom is all consuming. And if you let it, it will completely burn you up, your marriage and your life. Hubby and I are committed to avoid that at all cost. This book helped us review where we were at as a couple, talk about areas in domestic life that bugged us, and re-commited ourselves to prioritizing my well being, as we raise our two boys, just three years apart.

How about you? What are the ways you unwind, to recover a part of yourself as a work-at-home or stay-at-home parent?

What's a job you wished Hubby/Wife appreciated better?

Full disclosure: I received a copy of Michael Miller's book, as a part of Silicon Valley Mom's Book Club July Selection.

Do You Speak Toddlerese? A Glimpse into the Milky Way

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:15:00 +0000

I remember the moment my baby became a toddler. It happened during the evening bath. I noticed, under the suds, his baby belly wasn't there anymore. Not too long after that, I got misty missing his adorable diaper waddle, as TJ strutted around in his new Elmo speckled underpants, freshly potty trained. Thankfully, I still have one last piece of the preschool wonder years: Toddlerese.

As a three year old, TJ is extremely articulate, able to conjugate past, present and future tense. But, TJ still has remnants of babyhood in his speech. He tells me when he's on a search for lost cars, "I'm looking for sumbing". Or when I ask him what he did at preschool, TJ answers, "I played with my flends."

Every time he says one of these words, my heart just melts and I want to tickle him to death. It's just so a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e.

Toddlerese is not only learned by figuring out the semantics of their speech, though. It's a state of mind, from which their words flow. Receiving a question from a toddler is like getting a glimpse into the milky way, one of the universe's wonders.

I'll forever remember this special conversation between TJ and me. After hearing me call my mother "mama" on a number of occasions, it dawns on his toddler mind that "Poa Poa" (Chinese for Grandma) is my mommy. His brain quickly computes another data point, and he further clarifies, "And Grandma is Daddy's mommy, right?"

"Yes. That's right," I answer.

A short silence. Then, a question reverberates from TJ Toddler Universe: "Mommy... why don't you and Daddy live with your mommies?"

I explain. "Well, when kids become grown ups, they get to live in their own house. They don't live with their daddies and mommies anymore. And if they find someone special, they get married and have their own kids and live with them."

I was happy to start inserting thoughts of independance into his little world. My scheme to launch him into the Grown-Up Universe at eighteen years of age was beginning it's early stages.

"WWWWAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

Wailing and tormented cries erumpt from the toddler universe. A total frowny face contorts my troubled son's countenance. His brow is furrowed with sorrow, and his voice trembles as I ask him, "What's wrong, sweetie?!"

"BUT, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HERE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH ANYONE ELSE! I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU & DADDY F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!!"

Big, fat crococodile tears make their treks down the sweetest of angel faces. Underneath my tough talking pirate, car crashing speed devil, my baby still lived and thrived.

I drop down to the ground, scoop his long, gangly legs, once chubby and stubby, onto my lap. Rocking him, I offered words of reassurance, "It's okay, it's okay. Don't you worry about anything like that. You'll be living here for a long, long time.."

As his sobs calmed to whimpers, TJ shouts, like a gold miner hitting pay dirt."I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!"

"What?!"

"I know how I can stay here forever... I will marry YOU! Then, I'll never leave here!"

A big happy smile lights up TJ's eyes again. A crisis averted, he wipes the tears from his face and I get a tissue to blow his nose.

I wanted to remain his one true love forever, but I know I wouldn't be keepin' it real. So, I gently reassure him, "Well, I don't think anyone marries their mommy. But, don't you worry, we'll figure something out, okay?! .. C'mon. I think we might have some ice cream around here. You wanna ice cream cone, sweetie?"

"Yeah," TJ pauses a bit. Hoping he'll just forget about the whole growing up thing for now, I rise up with his hand in mine, as I lead him to the fridge.

"Yeah, Mommy... I think ice cream will make me feel better... I love you."

I love you, too, TJ.

All is good in Toddler Universe once more.

Fave Foods: Did You Know Kiwifruit is a SuperFood? I Didn't

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:39:00 +0000

Knowledge, they say, is power. In this case, it's SuperFood power. Just a week ago, I thought of kiwi as has-been fad fruit. You know. Every once in a while, a fruit hits celebrity status. It grabs all the "Did you know -this fruit- can cure cancer?" headlines among the chit chat circuit, and listeners chime in with "Oh, really?" choruses. Kiwifruit used to enjoy such attention, but it fell to the wayside as summer fruits like peaches, cheeries, and plums grabbed the spotlight on my weekly farmer market treks.

Well, last week, after New Zealand's Kiwi company, Zespri, sponsored a VIP luncheon at Calafia Cafe in Palo Alto, I found out kiwifruit is a SuperFood. And it's now my personal superstar favorite. As in over-the-moon-can't-wait-to-eat-it-again favorite.

Does that ever happen to you? You just get ga-ga over a certain fruit and the thought of eating it makes you swoon? I love it when that happens!

Three things about kiwi cast it's fruit obsession spell on me:

1st Importance. It's super healthy: one serving can knock out three nutrients with one kiwi.

By eating one kiwi, I get a day's worth of vitamin C, potassium (1/2 a banana), and 2 grams of fiber. And if you happen to find a gold kiwi (sold at Asian markets) rather than a green one (just check out the label, it'll say), you'll get double the dosage.

How that translates to me? I can break out of my daily routine: skip oatmeal for that day and still get my fiber (yeah!), pass on the banana, and get the same nutrients in a kiwi instead! All in just 45 calories, which is awesome, since I'm trying to lose my pregnancy baby fat.

2nd Importance. It's super easy to eat: I used to feel that eating kiwi was like eating a mango. This meant it was good fruit for my pre-mom era, but not a practical luxury with a newborn and toddler. One is yelping for milk while the other is hollering at me to watch him stand on one foot.

What changed all that is the spife. A spife is a spoon and knife combined. I can eat a kiwi by cutting it in half and scooping it out like ice cream (my other not-so-diet-friendly obsession).

Karen Brux, Zepsri's US Market Manager, passed out the spoon-on-one-end, knife-on-the-other spife to us, along with some kiwis to try out. Chef Charlie, owner of the classy eatery, demo'd it for us in a flash (Amaaazing food, btw. Must go again. Charlie Ayers was the chef that fed Google as it's Executive Chef).

I couldn't wait to try out the spife myself. After all, like Hubby says, "It's all about the tools."

For once, I totally agree. We went to the beach that weekend and actually ate our kiwis (three year old TJ included!) in the open air. Can you imagine eating anything with sand everywhere mess free?!! We were all kiwifruit converts!

3rd Importance. It's deliciously beautiful and sweet to eat. Hey, you won't find this girl crunching on bran or dry oats with a smile. I just can't sustain eating boring but healthy foods indefinitely.

But, now that I've found kiwi, it's on my list of Healthy Foods That Make Me Happy!

So, if you haven't given kiwi a chance to be your fave food, check out the Zesprikiwi.com website, get a spife (I bought some kiwis in at Safeway this week and it was packaged with one), and make sure it has the Zespri label on it. Then, you'll know it's actually from New Zealand and not from Chile or someplace else.

Going Down Memory Lane of Divorce

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:44:00 +0000

Not to alarm anyone. It's not my divorce. Sadly, a divorce I saw first hand, up close. I grew up avoiding the topic altogether, even though anyone and everyone would always ask me the same questions, "Have you seen your father? Do you miss not having a dad?"

No. And No. (This was my answer growing up. Now, I do miss having a dad, after seeing my Hubby as a loving father. I never knew what I missed out on, until it came back to me in such a beautiful way.) I never saw him after a few visits on the weekend after the split. My parents had a blow up and it was bad enough that I never laid eyes on my Dad since.

I've never allowed myself to think too much about the impact of not having a Dad. Life was too busy and I've always thought, What's the use in looking back? I couldn't wait to grow up and just get on with my life and pursue my own dreams.

But, now that I'm a mom, it's funny. Painful childhood memories keep cropping up now and then. Flashbacks to scenes in my life I thought were already over. Outtakes that have been locked away in the vault of a past life I'd lived.

I've never watched Jon & Kate plus Eight. 'Cuz c'mon. I have enough kiddie drama in my real life. I don't need reality TV to dish out anymore toddler potty training episodes filling up my free time.

But, news of their arrival in Splitville a week ago sent me back to my trial by fire as a child of divorce: the moment I was launched from an intact family, to one that crumbled into a broken up one.

I wrote a post on SVMoms about it. You can read it here: Jon & Kate's Divorce: Not Just Another Tabloid Story.

Yeah, I know there's a lot of different takes on divorce is good, divorce is bad, blah, blah, blah. But to a kid, that moment of reckoning is never easy to swallow. And that's reality.

So, I hug my TJ and CJ tightly and cover them with kisses and tickles until they scream for mercy. That's my therapy, and oh, it's a good life. I'm back in the now.

A Twittering Twig Am I: My Two Cents on Twitter

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 13:00:00 +0000

I finally crawled out from under a rock and got myself a Twitter account a few weeks ago. I avoided it like the plague because blogging already takes up every free minute I have (And trust me, those minutes are NOT really free!). I just didn't see how I could fit microblogging in, on top of everything else I've been juggling.

But, with my awful nausea-laden pregnancy behind me and my newborn surprisingly a marathon sleeper at at two months (three naps a day and sleeping through the night until 5:30am!), my hierarchy of needs suddenly got bumped up.

No longer sleep deprived, my mind immediately went into panic mode with my writing. Yes, I could go on just whipping up blog posts, but what's fun about blogging if I'm not connecting with other like-minded writers and readers?

Hubby already got a Twitter account months ago and suggested I get atwittering to get the word out about my blog. When I found out the large number of followers he had listening to all his tweets, the competitive side of Bonnie went bonkers.

So far, I'm still a slow poke on putting out tweets. After all, doing actual writing is still my higher priority. And being in the moment with my Hubby, three year old TJ and newborn CJ are even higher priority. I can't tweet while bottlefeeding CJ and reading TJ a story, all the while keeping an eye on dinner on the stove.

So, what do I think about Twitter? Since you asked (ha!), here are my two cents (maybe even my one cent, since I am a newbie to Twitter). At least, here is a conservative beginner's take on Twitter:

1. Beware of getting addicted. Experiencing real life moments is more important than tweeting. I caught myself totally addicted when I'd be with my family and I'd be so tempted to eek a tweek out under the table. The way I get around this is to limit myself to tweeting at home, only when I'm not in front of friends or family members.

Twittering made me want to get an iPhone for Christmas (Jury's still out on this request. Santa's still not sure if I should have one). Hopefully by then, I tweet in moderation. There are a lot of expert tweeters that know the right tools and have established a rhythm to manage it. But, I'm a wussie and I know how addictive I can become.

2. Twittering is a good challenge for self-esteem. Sometimes I follow people and they don't follow me back. I know it's not personal, but when you're just starting out, it nice to know someone's out there catching your tweets. But, it's important to tweet what you mean and mean what you tweet!

The tables were also turned on me. I started following my Hubby right off the bat. But he actually made me unfollow him! He wanted to stay anonymous from my blogging escapades (Hubby didn't want his blog readers to hear about his personal family life from my blog). What does that say about my blogging? .. Ahem, another post for another day!

3. Twittering is fun because more people can know about your blog. I know this for a fact because since joining Twitter myself, I've found many new blogs that are awesome! Checking out who people follow is a great way to find great blogs. And whenever someone retweets an article, I'm introduced to interesting information I would've never known about.

4. Twittering is fun because I can get to know another side of friends. It's neat to hear the things that are capturing my online friends' attention. It's like walking up to some friends who are in conversation and enjoying the chat or just hanging back to just listen.

5. Twittering is fun because it's new. It's always a good opportunity to learn something new, especially when it's foreign. Because first it feels very daunting, and then I learn it, I feel good about being able to do it. It think that is the key to staying young. Just try something new. Even if I end up not liking it. At least I tried it! And if I suck at it, at least it's good material to write about, right?!

We'll see how it all goes. I'm not a nut case yet with Twitter, but who knows. Maybe you'll catch me out tweeting with my iPhone under the table on Christmas morning. If you do, tap me on the shoulder and hit me over the head with your iPhone. Just don't tweet about it, 'k?!

I've recently added a Follow Me on Twitter link on my blog. So, if you are looking for a tweet from Yours Truly, please follow me at: TheBonnieGray.

Recession Proof Parenting Isn't Just About the Economy

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:21:00 +0000

With the sour economy still hovering over our nation's consciousness, I can't help but wonder how our kids would be affected if we were to really hit hard times. One thing I know for sure is its affect on me as a child, and how it continues to affect me as a parent today.

My story doesn't begin with, "Although we didn't have very much, we were rich in laughter and our days were carefree."

No, as a single parent carrying the burden of being the bread winner, my mother constantly worried and was rarely at rest in her heart.

I was the oldest in the family and saw up close how being restless affected her moods. Looking back, I think she tried to distract herself from worry by being busy or controlling. While some children resort to apathy (as to not rock the boat), I compensated by putting her worries on my own shoulders. I would be my mom's hero.

Our family checkbook was open for me to see, so I was often concerned whether we'd have enough for clothes, food, school supplies and the bills. One of my biggest worries came when one of us got sick, since we couldn't afford to see the doctor. I still remember how anxious I felt, hearing my little sister cough at night, unsure if it's simply a cold or something more.

With mom too worried and busy coping with her own problems, I grew up too quickly without the perspective from one who is at rest with herself and with the world.

So I told myself when I was young and thinking about life -- if I ever get to be a mom, even if I hit hard times -- I want to be the mom who doesn't pass worry onto my kids.

It's true that growing up early in life has made me stronger and more resourceful than if I hadn't gone through it. And out of my need for someone to guide and care for me, my faith in God grew deep and real.

But like a drop of water on the dessert ground, my childhood disappeared, with too much knowledge on a heart that was too young.

I'd rather pass on joy and laughter to my children. I want them to remember mommy smiling more than worrying.

After all, my kids will have their own share of headaches and heartache. With or without money, that's just the honest truth.

How I can best parent through the recession? Be at rest with myself.

I won't be able to do it perfectly. But, no matter how bad the economy gets, I hope to shield them from the real negative effects of a recession: not just the dollar sign, but from discouragement and worry.

I hope that when my kids look back at the hard times one day, they'll see a smiling mommy and remember that along with the tears, there is always laughter.

Fave Foods: A Summer Smile With Berries & Cream

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:40:00 +0000

Summertime signals splashes in the pool, running around with my hair up in a ponytail, and heat all around me. After a long day with the sun out, evening rolls around and I'm itching for something sweet and cool. Fruit alone in the winter is comfort and calming. But, for whatever reason, summer can't be complete without ice cream and berries.

No longer in my twenties, though, I can't gobble up three scoops of ice cream like I used to. I mean, I can technically. I have no problem putting it away if I'm on vacation somewhere, feeling carefree and dangerous.

Back at home, I have enough sense to know I can't buy pints of Ben & Jerry's without paying the piper (Although I do mourn my old fix of New York Super Fudge Chunk). So, I make up for the fat by throwing in a ton of my favorite summer treat: strawberries and blueberries.

Just seeing the strawberries lined up pretty and berry pink make me happy. And blueberries are now in season, so I don't have to eat them for nutritional purposes. They're more sweet than tart now.

I put a small scoop of ice cream in my glass bowl, just so it'll melt ever so softly in the warm afterglow of a hot day. The windows are open and the breeze is just starting to come in.

I'll open the freezer door, just as I have countless times as a little girl and take out my ice cream. But, now instead of full fat indulgence, I reach for a slightly sane alternative. I'm so happy I've found Dreyers Light Ice Cream Slow Churned with 1/2 the Fat (Vanilla Bean is my favorite). I can't go for non-fat, so this is a great compromise. Still creamy, with only 100 calories/30 fat calories/11g of sugar.

So, when the warm evenings are still at a slow bake for the day, I unwind with a spoon full of berries and ice cream. And smile a summer smile.

Does Balance in Life Exist?

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 03:04:00 +0000

Before I had children, I would've definitely answered yes to this question about life balance. I had my life pretty well compartmentalized: Fitness, Family, Career, Romance, Finances, Friendship and Personal Growth. My sense of well being hung in the balance of how well I was traversing these different areas of my life. If one area seemed to be neglected, well then, I'd just take a weekend or so to tweak my schedule a bit. Call up a friend, take a trip to Borders for a book, or hit the gym. Voila, all was well.

Now, on the other side of motherhood, things are looking mighty different. I started thinking about this recently, having had my second child. It's dawning on me, as I move past the survival months of newborn life.

With a clearer head, I look at my life now as a mom of two. I simply don't have that many hours in a day or work week to be "balanced". There are trade offs I'm having to make on a day to day basis. If balance is what I'm after, that would be pretty depressing, chasing after something that's more of an ideal than a reality.

So no, my answer now is more a shade of gray. Even inching over to "no" if I was feeling a bit rebellious on a given day.

After all, two kids plus a household. What do I get? A life that continually loves to move towards chaos. Just check out my laundry basket, my recycling and garbage cans, my shopping list, my emails, and my calendar.

You see, I'm finding out that "balance" is a bit misleading goal at this point in my life. Balance conveys some sort of steady state, where everything has equal weight.

Time is precious and I don't want to be running around trying to be all and do all. It might look like I can on paper. But, I know where I'll end up. Feeling unfulfilled, I would have given a little of myself to everything, but not fully invested in anything.

Now is the time to embrace what is important to me and pick my priorities. I'm not so concerned about balance any longer. A better fitting word is alignment.

Yes, alignment resonates with me. If I can look back on my day or week and see a series of moments and activities that align with my heart's desires, then it's been time well spent.

A Happy Father's Day Letter, Rediscovered

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:06:00 +0000

Dear Honey,

When I first fell in love with you, I imagined a life lived out happily ever after. I often tell others, I married for love and not for a family. I didn't know if we would have children, but I knew that I had waited a lifetime to find someone I could call lover, best friend, and soul mate.

It turns out that you are truly all those things to me, but I never anticipated what a gift you would be, as I've watched you grow into the loving father you are today.

As we brought two beautiful babies into this world, we never imagined how much work it was going to be to take to care of them. We've been battling our way through temper tantrums, taking turns wiping up poop, and voluntarily signing up for "guard duty" at night to watch over our waking children.

I sometimes catch myself longing for the carefree days we enjoyed before the treadmill of our everyday mommy-and-daddy schedule entered our lives. But I realize this Father's Day, in recounting all these tough memories, that it is all worth it, Honey.

For every difficulty we have encountered, I see a Daddy who has been a faithful watchman, loyal to his post. I see a loving father who will never leave his children, no matter how tough it gets. And for that, I am blessed forever. Not only are you shaping the course of the lives of two boys into manhood, but you see, you have also been changing mine.

With every moment of fatherhood I witness, you are filling my life with pictures of the father that I never had:

... With every kiss you plant on our boys' cheeks every day, after a long hard day's work.

... With the strength of your forgiveness, even when the milk was spilt and they wore your patience thin.

... With the safety of your hugs, even on days you were weary with tiredness in your body and caffeinated to the tilt.

... With your smile that welcomes them into your arms, shielding them from a world of troubles and grown up woes.

I count myself among the lucky, to have a husband who can walk beside me as a loving and faithful father. Although I never had the memory of a father to grace the bedroom doorway of my childhood, I now have a future of loving memories of a father who makes our children and my life happily ever after.

With Love Forever,
Bonnie

Last Minute (Proven) Father Day Gifts

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:39:00 +0000

Some weeks go by fast and some go by slow. Murphy's Law dictates that when it's the week before Father's Day, time flies fast forward and the To Do list grows exponentially long. At least it has for me in these early preschool years, where I'm trying to just keep everything afloat.

Father's Day is not a day to be missed, for all the hard work daddies do nowadays. So, here are some of last minute gift ideas that have been a hit with Hubby. These were gifts I could make myself after Hubby hit the pillow the night before, run out to the mall on Saturday, or buy from Amazon with 1 day shipping:

1. Moleskin Notebook - Picasso, Matisse and Hemingway used it and Hubby liked it's simple design and signature elastic bookmark. I like the print inspired covers for notebooks, but this one hit home for Hubby. A quick run into a nearby stationery store or click online, and I'm good to go.

2. Baseball Cap and a cool T-Shirt - This is a fun one to get, 'cuz usually a year has rolled by and the cap I got him last year has been trampled by the stoller in the back trunk. To avoid having Hubby grab his geeky t-shirts with company logos (please only at work, honey!), I like to pick up a fresh T. An extra important side note: Hubby appreciates it, too. An hour at Macy's, and I'm done.

3. Sony's Shower Radio and Fogless Shaving Mirror - This was definitely a crowd pleaser gift set. I bought cheaper shower radios before, but it would just break easily with bad suction cups on the walls, not to mention poor reception. The Sony one has been great. And those fogless shaving mirrors don't stay fogless forever, so it's great to get a new one.

4. Heart Rate Monitor Watch - Okay, Sssshhh! This is my Father's Day gift to Hubby this year (I told him do NOT read today's post!). Hubby wants to start running, so I think this will be a good motivator, to help him hit his peak heartrate and lose those pregnancy empathy pounds. I bought Timex as a good middle of the road watch before going hard core with too much features with a Polar.

5. Cool shoes - This one is easy because of Zappos.com. Hubby can return them easily if it's not the perfect fit, but at least I've got the style picked out for him.

6. Photo Travel Mug - This is easy to pick up at Target, Starbucks, or the local camera store. I print out the pictures off the computer and spend a few hours with TJ's stick of glue, insert, and voila! Lots of adorable family photos to hold Hubby's java.

7. Photo Framed for the Office - Hubby loved having a ready made picture frame with him as Daddy to take to the office. It's fun to finally buy those adorable picture frames they sell at the Hallmark store around Father's Day.

8. Daddy Slideshow - This is a lot of work, but worth the smile I saw on Hubby's face. I sat around into the night and picked out all the photos with him as Daddy and put them in a Picasa folder. Then, I clicked "slideshow" on Father's Day and Hubby got to enjoy seeing the journey of fatherhood, a picture at a time. I sent the link out to familly and it was props to Hubby for being a great dad.

9. Homemade Cinnamon Maple French Toast - This recipe is DA BOMB! I found it on epicurious.com, made it for the first time a few months ago, before I had baby #2 (since I wasn't sure when I'd get to do it again). Two Bonnie changes: I use Brioche bread and sprinkle a dash of cinnamon in the custard. Guarantee: a heavenly smelling house while baking. Hubby has been requesting it since! I will surprise him with it this weekend (if I can squeeze it in!)

Happy, Happy Father's Day everyone ..!

I've Been Cast: Three Boys and a Mommy

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Okay now. I don't regret having ever prayed for two boys. I would still definitely choose having boys over girls 'cuz I grew up with all women. My mom, my sis and me. I feel like I've been there, done that.

But, the truth is dawning. I'm starting to realize my life has become a sitcom of some sorts. I'm reminded of the movie Three Men and a Baby, except the movie I've been cast in is "Three Boys and a Mommy". I'm the Mommy. My sons TJ, CJ, and Hubby are the Three Boys.

Now, I'm no stranger to chillin' with guys. I've played kickball with the best of the little squirts, speed dissected a frog in junior high science lab in ten seconds flat, and debated 'til the cows came home no matter what encyclopedic Urkel they'd throw my way.

Not even my days as an engineering major with the geekiest guys in college, though, could prepare me for life as a female in the minority.

I knew cars and trucks were gonna be staples in the toy purchasing department. But, I never could've anticipated how annoying it would be to hear them crashing into each other hour after hour. I still cringe every night I go through the house with the Swiffer to sweep away the debris of paint chips, after a day of car crunching destruction.

And hello! Is there anything else we can talk about other than answering questions like, "Why does Peter Pan have a sword?" or "What does a gun do?" Not just once, but repeated ad nauseum.

I don't find the idea of playing with dolls particularly appealing, but having played "the bad guy" whose legs and arms get chopped off everyday by TJ who's always "the good guy", pink and girly is sounding mighty calm and soothing.

The other day, as we were listening to classical music, I drilled TJ with questions to identify which instruments were playing.

"Okay, TJ, what instrument is playing now?" TJ answers cello, which is correct. "Awesome!"

After ID'ing the instruments correctly, I decide to take it to the next level and teach some lessons in music appreciation.

"Each of the instruments is telling a story," I explain. "Try to listen and imagine what is happening. For example, I hear the violins and it sounds like birds are flying and happy. Now, what do think of when the cello is playing?"

I hold my breath, anticipating a pretty good answer, since TJ is quiet, deep in thought.

Careful not to break his reverie, I softly ask again,"So, what do you imagine? Anything?"

Looking quite reflective, TJ slowly proclaims, "Yes, Mommy! I think of .... CHEESE!"

"Cheese?!!? Did you say cheese?!" Are you serious, TJ?

"Uh-huh! It's lots and lots of cheese ... on a big cheeseburger!"

Need I say more?

Well, at least I've got great material for a future movie script!

What's For Dinner? Pan Seared Halibut Pasta with Asparagus

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:34:00 +0000

Friends often ask me what I make for dinner, now that I have two kids.

My answer is that it varies. Sometimes, it'll be something I'll warm up in the microwave from the freezer. But, on a good day, if I have the energy, I'll make a nice big batch of something. That way, I'll have leftovers. That means the "making dinner" check box on tomorrow's To Do list will be marked off!

I only have time to make meals that can be done in 30 minutes (worth one tv show that's been Tivo'd for TJ), so I'm usually working very hard in that half hour.

I am not a chef, so you'll have to excuse my lack of correct culinary terminology.

Okay, onto the recipe!

At least once a week, I try to cook fish because it's a a heart healthy protein (God knows we need it for all the stress we go through in a week as parents). Fish is great because it cooks FAST (10 minutes only) and you don't have to touch it while it's cooking. I choose fish that chews on the meaty side, since it sorta tastes like chicken (according to TJ, that is). Plus, it's easy for the toddler to pick up with his fingers or stab with a fork.

Asparagus is also a healthy vegetable (again, great for the heart) that is good to match with pasta, because all alone, it's hard to get TJ to chow down on it. He actually doesn't like it. But, cut up in slices, along with bites of pasta? It's a lot less fibrous and he'll tolerate it. Especially if he's hungry!

Pan Seared Halibut Pasta with Asparagus

Ingredients

Bunch of Asparagus
2-3 Roma Tomatoes ~ or whatever kinda tomatoes are in the fridge
1 Can of Olives
1 lb of Halibut ~ or Salmon. Can be frozen. I buy mine at Trader Joe's. Just thaw it out in the morning or night before.
1/4 jar of creamy Afredo sauce ~ or just enough to do a glaze

Olive Oil
Salt
Pepper

Pasta of choice ~ Linguini or Spaghetti if I feel like being messy eater, Penne or Rigatoni if I want to be neater. Depends on mood.

Optional: onions, garlic. I only add these if I feel I have time to spare. If it's a fast dinner I'm aiming for, I skip it.

Servings: 2 dinner meals for 2 adults, two toddlers

Directions

1. Start boiling water for the pasta. As I prepare the veges, I throw in the pasta and start the timer. After 9-10 minutes, drain the pasta & add a little olive oil in the pot to keep it from sticking. Keep it in the pot until I'm ready to combine everything at the end.

2. Prepare the asaparagus. Break off the ends by snapping them off at the bottom. Wash. Cut slanted into little pieces.
3. Prepare the tomatoes. Wash, cut into quarters. I like bigger chucks so they don't disappear into the sauce.

4. Prepare the fish. Rinse with water, pat dry with paper towels.

5. Open your can of olives, ready to throw in later.

6. Pour some olive oil into a prep bowl. Brush the olive oil on the fish, sprinkle with salt & pepper. Turn the fish over and do the same on the other side.

7. Warm up the pan on medium high. Put 2 T of olive oil.

8. Stir fry the asparagus for 5 min. Toss over every other minute. Sprinkle in some salt. Should be crisp, not soggy & flat. Spatula them out onto a separate dish.

9. Warm up pan again on medium high. Put 2-3T of olive oil. Place the fish onto the pan and cook on each side for 5 minutes. Don't move the fish as it's cooking during the 5 minutes, so it'll get a seared effect and the fish will be crispy outside & tender inside.

10. How to tell the fish is done. The fish fillet flakes off if you poke it with a fork. If you look at the fish, it's almost done it's no longer opaque. If you're lucky, just as you see the white appear and the opaque color leaving, it's perfectly done. Not overdone and not underdone.

Transfer the fish onto aluminum foil and wrap, to keep hot.

11. By now, the pasta timer had already gone off and you've drained the pasta.

12. Stir fry the tomatoes & olives with some olive oil. Stir it around a little until tomato looks softened. 13. Then, throw in all the ingredients except the fish. Pour in the creamy white sauce, just enough to glaze over the pasta, and stir fry.

If I put the right amount of sauce, you can't even hardly see the white creamy sauce. It just has a hint of flavor. I don't add anymore salt at this point. But, flavor to your licking.

Then, scoop up onto the plates and put the fish on top of the pasta.

Voila, done! Bon appetit!

When the Kids are Sick, Mommy Is Held Hostage

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:47:00 +0000

You know the ol' saying "When Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"? It's often used as a proverbial club that hangs over the husbands, to encourage granting of favors. My darling Hubby granted such a favor after he spent a whole morning painting our family room with "cappuccino", painstakingly blue taping the crown molding to avoid ruining the white trim. I was preggie at the time with baby #1, so I was out of the house to avoid the fumes when the first coat was being applied.

After poking my head into the room and a quick peek, the color on the wall bugged me more like a coffee stain than a coffee drink. I knew I was not going to be happy unless it was redone.

Hubby looked at me with a silent stare. My father-in-law, experienced with years in merry matrimony, jumped in and encouraged his son, "No problem. We can do it. After all, if Mama's happy, everyone's happy.." And off Hubby went, driving off to the paint store, with good ol' Dad by his son. (Hubby has never truly recovered from the trauma and continues to retell the story in hopes of being healed.)

I was happy and relieved the room was gona be repainted. But man, I felt so g-u-i-l-t-y.

Not anymore. You see, I've basically spent the week in this room, held hostage by a three year old sick kid and a 3 month old newborn. Summer has arrived, which means no preschool for TJ. As for CJ, his circuit training workout equipment of baby swing, Tiny Love activity gym, and bouncy seat are all in the family room.

Throw in a fever, runny nose, sore throat and a nasty cough (picture a screaming toddler pulling at his throat everytime he coughs, yelling, "IT HURTS!! I DON'T WANT IT TO HURT!! FIX IT MOMMY! MAKE IT GO AWAY!"), and what do you get?

A sick-crazed Mommy! Not the kind with the sniffles. No, I'm talkin' 'bout going bonkers when the kids are sick. These four walls of "mocha frost" have been borders around my jungle of chaos. Everyday, TJ carefully crafts a new minefield of exploding cars, trucks, and legos for me to walk through. Here, among the wounded vehicles and missing car parts, I've wiped noses, changed diapers, fed countless bottles, played puppets, and read ad nauseum. Imagine me begging, "Can we please pick another book besides the one about Cars, dude?"

It's liberating to no longer feel guilty about the paint on the wall. What was I thinking?

In fact, with all this time on my hands while tending to my kids this week, I started thinking, "Wouldn't this room look a lot nicer with a warmer color of khaki?"

Honey! ... Can you do me a favor? ..

A Book Review: The Hope of Siblings Without Rivalry

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:29:00 +0000

The title of the book caught my attention right away. My second child hadn't arrived yet. In fact, I had just found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic and crazy happy when I went in for my twelfth week ultrasound. It was confirmed I was having a baby.. a sibling for TJ.

Along with the excitement of giving TJ a sibling, however, I was very sobered by the fact that sibling rivalry is a very real threat to the brotherly bond I was hoping for the two of them. I know from personal experience in my own family that having a difficult sibling in your life can mar your childhood and nightmares can happen during the daytime.

My sister is happily married and all grown up now. Although we are cordial when we visit with each other, I've always felt an ache for the loving sisterly friendship that some women have with their sisters. Some friends say, "My sister is my best friend and the first person I turn to." (I think of Nicole Kidman, who upon finding herself divorced, found comfort in the safety and support of her parents and her sister, Antonia.)

So along with sending out the "I'm pregnant!" emails to friends and family, I searched Amazon for a book on dealing with Sibling Rivalry. And ordered "Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You can Live Too" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

I was really drawn to the part of the title that said, ".. So You can Live Too". After all, I didn't want spend my motherhood years being overshadowed by the conflicts between my two kids. But, like sleep training and potty training, I knew that learning to keep peace among two brothers was going to be hard work, challenging beyond advice any book would give.

I didn't have a good role model on how to parent siblings successfully from my own mom, so I was hoping the book could give me a good reference point. And go from there.

And the book did not disappoint. Even though CJ is three months old, I have already benefited from the insight this book has offered to promote harmony between the two brothers.

Here are my top three:

1. Sibling rivalry is serious. It can affect children into their adulthood. The book's introduction chapter talks about how grown ups who are responsible citizens can still feel the negative impacts of how their siblings treated them or how their parents treated them as a result of their sibling.

It impressed how significant my role (and my husband's role) is in shaping and influencing their development. It's been said "boys will be boys" or "all kids fight". Although both statements are true, there is a fine line between letting it go too far. I hope I can learn to be aware of times where that line is being crossed to avoid having a bad dynamic develop.

2. Instead of Dismissing Negative Feelings About a Sibling, Acknowledge the Feelings. This was helpful because whenever TJ would say things like, "Oh, gosh! CJ cries too much!"

Without the book, I would have responded by saying: "No, CJ doesn't really cry that much. He's only hungry. That's all."

The authors are saying that by invalidating or not acknowledging CJ's feelings, there would be a subtle message I was conveying: your brother is more important than you. Which is the crux of sibling rivalry: importance.

Instead, the book taught me to respond: "I know. CJ cries so much, doesn't he!? It's so noisy, huh? .. You know, that's the only way he knows how to talk... ." Sure enough, it worked. The next time baby would cry, TJ would say, "CJ is talking again! What is he saying?"

3. Don't Give Your Attention to the Aggressor. Attend to the Injured Party Instead.

Ooooo, this one is a good one! Without this little tip, I know I'd naturally jump on whoever is doing the harassment. Meanwhile, the child who is hurting would be put to the side. And the aggressor would think, "A-ha! I'm getting the attention."

The simple act of going directly to the injured person ("Come on, let me give you a hug. Let's go get a yummy snack" and walk away from the other person temporarily) would put the aggressor on the sidelines. It would teach him that it actually doesn't work in his favor to be difficult, 'cuz his sibling would get all the goodies!

I haven't used #3 yet, but I like it already because I cannot tell you how many countless times as a child, a moment has been ruined for me because my sister was acting out. Instead, she got all the time and attention from my mom. And I was often left to be by myself whenever my mom was off trying to calm the hurricane.

There are a ton more practical techniques and strategies the book outlines. I have used them several times throughout my week. The brothers are getting along well so far, so I think the little tidbits I've applied have helped lay the ground work to a peaceful and loving relationship between the two -- and in our home.

Of course, I am just at the very beginning of this long journey. And much is still theory until it's practiced. I know that there are gonna be hell on earth days when my boys fight. We are all human, which means pain is a part of the human experience. And there is nothing that's perfect really.

But an amazing healing thing about becoming a parent is that it replenishes hope for all that is wonderful and beautiful in life. Even if past experiences have been less than ideal, there is something about parenthood and the innocence of children that gives me hope for a better future. One filled with friendship between brothers.

How My Weekend Was Spent with a Cleaning Product in a Tech Museum with Bill Nye the Science Guy

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:33:00 +0000

I didn't think I'd be very much interested in attending a product presentation about a cleaning product on a precious Saturday (hello, I know I'm a mom, but puh-leeeze -- cleaning is the last thing on my mind come Saturday morning!).

But since the folks at Activeion treated Sili con Valley Mom Bloggers and their families to a free day at the San Jose Tech Muse um and also a chance to see Bill Nye the Science Guy explain how the thing works, I was there.

TJ LOVES science. Even though he's only three, if you were to ask him, "What is science?", he'd answer,"It's how things work." He got that from watching Sid the Science Kid.

TJ's not old enough yet to get into watching Bill Nye on TV, but Bill Nye live? .. The thought of anyone doing a live experiment was enough to motivate the little guy to get buckled into his carseat (trust me, getting into the car can take forever).

The product spiel itself was pretty quick. And that was good because with a third of the room filled with little kids, it kept my anxiety level low. The fun part was seeing Bill Nye in his element making a smoke machine out of a plastic garbage can that shot out cannonballs made of smoke (you just had to be there to hear all the gasps and squeals of delight erupting in the room). TJ confirmed the experiment was a hit when he proclaimed, "I liked it when he did all those tricks!"

As for the product Activeion Pro itself? .. All I can say is that it would be a dream come true if it really does work as advertised! It claims to work like a general household cleaner that can clean glass, hard surfaces and carpet -- and kill >99.9% of bacteria -- WITH ONLY TAP WATER! Yes, I'm totally serious. No chemicals. Totally safe for people (esp. the moms who clean and kids who are around 'em) and the environment.

The marketing pamphlet explains that when I press and hold the trigger of the pump, the water gets "infused with charged, super-oxygenated nano-bubbles.. the water is activated to attack dirt."

Does it actually work, you ask? .. Well, Activeion put the power in our hands by actually sending us home with a complimentary Activeion Pro to put it to the test ourselves.

What happened when I went home to conduct my own experiment and started spraying stuff to see if it actually worked? Stay tuned.. Hubby and I actually went at it and the results? .. That'll be another post. ;)

As for the San Jose Tech Museum?! Wow! It was so much fun. Not so much because I was into staring and pressing buttons at all the different monitors that were placed throughout various exhibits -- But because my son was into it! .. Which meant an easy afternoon of entertainment! YEAH!

Isn't it interesting what constitutes as entertainment as a mom now? .. When I was single, strolling through a tech museum probably would've landed at the bottom of my list of Things to Do on Saturday. An art museum? Yes. But, after a work week in the technology industry, no thanks. I want to get away from computers as far as possible on Saturdays and be outside.

Actually, I was really pleasantly surprised.

I actually had a favorite at the Tech Museum: I got to ride a Segway! On the roof the the Tech Museum, overseeing the high rises of San Jose Downtown. That was TOTALLY AWESOME! (Don't I look like a nerd?.. The guy behind me is watching to make sure I don't steer the thing off the path and injure anyone..)

TJ's favorite? He loved the music "machine". Really, it was digital DJ station. And we couldn't tear him away from it. Kids just love music. It's a natural attraction that all children respond to.

Hubby's favorite? He loved the thingmajig that takes thermo-photos, that shows the the different temperature readings on your body - hottest is red. Here's our thermo-family photo! (CJ is snoozing in his car seat)..

And how about 2.5 month old CJ's favorite? Riding in the Baby Bjorn, soaking in all the new lights and sounds. And of course, dozing off to the nice background buzz in the museum.

Some stuff could definitely be more appreciated by older kids.. like the hologram making demonstration, which TJ couldn't entirely sit still for, while the camera took pictures revolving around him. But, everything is so new and cool, it didn't matter. TJ had a BLAST!

We'll have to go back to catch the IMAX movies on the big dome picture experience. We didn't want to push our luck and just "walk away" while we were ahead :).

The Tech Museum itself is in downtown San Jose, so it was a fun experience for TJ during our walk to the museum from the parking lot. He saw a lightrail up close passing by, as we waited at a stop light, and walked through a sculputre of fountain. He had fun soaking in the downtown atmosphere.

Overall, I would say it's definitely worth spending a morning or afternoon for family fun!

A First Family Outing out at the Tracks -- Train Tracks

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Sat, 30 May 2009 03:58:00 +0000

Our family finally hit a week of stable sleeping schedules. TJ no longer woke up throughout the night and CJ was able to sleep until 3am (some nights it's been 4am or 5am!).

Finally rested with five or six hrs of sleep at night (amazing what constitutes as "rest" now that I'm a parent!), Hubby and I decided to attempt our first "family outing" of four. Sure, we've done quick ventures to go out to lunch, but nothing that took longer than 2 hours. We've always returned home before the proverbial coach turned into a pumpkin.

Last week's Memorial holiday brought us a three day weekend, so we knew if things didn't quite work out, we had an extra day to recover. So, we set our sights on a local favorite of TJ's:
the Billy Jones Wildcat Railroad in Los Gatos, CA.

Running since 1970, the railroad is a real steam engine that takes a scenic tour between Oak Meadows Park and Vasona Park. It's just a 10 minute ride, so the line isn't long (key to success for antsy toddlers). What's also great is there is a carousel that dates back to 1915!

And TJ goes crazy bonkers riding it. And to our surprise, little 2.5 month old CJ loved it, too! His cute little eyes darting back and forth, up and down, checking out the new sounds and sights. I was so happy to be able to join CJ & Hubby on the ride. I actually wasn't expecting to be able to go on it. But, it was such a quick and gentle ride, I think CJ might have even felt a bit lullabyed by the ride!

It's a nostalgic little mini-vacation that is toddler and newborn size: popsicles, popcorn, shaved ice cones, and even fresh grilled hot dogs. So, after the train and carousel ride, it's easy to kill time getting some yummy snacks.

What's also convenient is that the train and carousel are both nestled inside a park with a playground. So, after the snacks, Hubby and I could leisurely walk hand-in-hand, with TJ running ahead of us, playing on the play structures. And what about CJ, you ask? He was dozing away happily in the stroller (I'm very good at steering the stroller with one hand now!)

So, it was a great Memorial Weekend for the Gray family - we were out and didn't get back until the evening! I know not every fun, family holiday outing will go as smoothly, but when it does, how sweet it is!

A Restful Weekend Away

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Mon, 25 May 2009 16:16:00 +0000

Last weekend, I went on a sorely needed three day retreat with my church's women's group. Hubby had gone on a week long business trip and I was left with a six week newborn and a three year old toddler. I was wired to the tilt, having to do night feedings, handle night wakings, and juggle the two during the day.

By the time Hubby got home, I was an andrenaline-wired zombie. I just couldn't shut off, I had been "on" so many days. Hubby did all the night feedings when I came back, but I just couldn't fall asleep. There were also TJ's night wakings peppered throughout, because he only wanted "Mommy". I was in trouble when even sleeping pills didn't do the job.

Thank goodness, the last second, there was space for me to sign up for our church's women's retreat. To my surprise, when I arrived, the retreat campus was right next to the beach! I stayed at Asilomar in Pacific Grove, and I had oceanside view right from my room. The sight of the ocean, the sound of the tide, and quietness washed over me. I was in seventh heaven.

I went for the physical rest, just to get away. What I also got, but didn't expect, was the encouragement from other women! At first, I didn't feel like doing much talking, but I had fun just listening to other women's stories. By the end of the retreat, I made some new friends. It was great to laugh about all the things that can make you cry, you know?

As for spiritual renewal, I finally enjoyed what I crave so much: journaling and prayer. I learned some important things about myself, that enabled me to have some personal breakthroughs and grow in this season of my life as mom of two.

With some quiet time to rest, space to reflect, and warm food to eat (that I did not have to prepare!), I was able to do what sleeping pills could not accomplish: sleep.

Of course, I missed Hubby and kids like crazy. Because I was all too familiar with the schedule back home, I couldn't help but wonder how things were going. When I was on the beach and saw a golden retriever running through the waves, I flashed back to the sweet memory of the day Hubby proposed to me on the beach. With arms locked around each other, we also smiled at a wet dog enjoying the spray of the ocean.

My husband was wonderful to encourage me to enjoy the time away and stuck it out for two nights. As I called to check-in on my way back, poor Hubby revealed he hadn't slept a wink the whole weekend as well. I donned my virtual "super-cape" on, and went back refreshed and rested to the family I love, my life with two kids.

Brotherly Love is in the Air

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Wed, 13 May 2009 04:25:00 +0000

I love, love, love these photos. When I look at them, I tell myself all the sleep deprivation and insanity-filled days juggling a newborn and a toddler are worth it.

You see, I am only human. At two months young, CJ is at the age where he's not portable anymore, but is still learning to nap. In other words, I'm homebound... along with his three year old brother!

Umpteen times a day, I am called to respond to three year old questions like:

"Why do I have to eat my breakfast/lunch/dinner/veges/fruit/fill_in_the_blank_food?" or "Why is the sky blue?". All the while, I'm trying to feed, nap, diaper, and burp CJ on 4 hours of sleep. Not to mention cook, clean, and launder (remind me why am I not getting paid for this?).

Parenting a three year old feels a bit like parenting a teenager.The kid wants independence, but still requires supervision. A lot of messes are made that I have to clean up. These "learning opportunities" might be innocuous, like "I want to pour the milk!". But, it might also involve situations that are not for the fainthearted.. "Mommy, I went poop, and I wiped all by myself!" Oh, isn't that so wonderful, son! ... Ahem.. excuse me while I totally g-r-o-s-s o-u-t!

Then, a moment like this appears. While I'm sitting on the sofa, feeding CJ, semi-zoning as I run through my mental list of my to-do's, TJ stops zooming and crashing his cars to come ask me a question.

"Can I hold CJ?" TJ asks wide-eyed and excited.

For a moment, I almost say, "No, honey. CJ is still eating. Don't bother him while he's feeding."

Thankfully, I change my mind.

I'm so glad I had a moment of clarity, which doesn't always happen. As I show TJ how to hold his brother, he did something that just blew me away.

TJ snuggled his little brother up close, giggled, and said ever so sweetly, "I love you, CJ."

Yep. This is what I dreamed of when I was pregnant. This is why I wanted to have a second baby boy. So that the world can see brotherly love. It turns out that world is my world, right on a snack stained couch, smack dab on this tired, but happy mother's heart.

My Happy Mother's Day

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Mon, 11 May 2009 04:01:00 +0000

I had the absolute best Mother's Day. My Hubby started the celebration off on Saturday by sending me off for an afternoon at the spa (What a sweetheart!). I came home feeling very pretty and pink, floating on air, after a steam bath, a dip in the jaccuzzi and an hour long facial.

I pulled into the garage and as TJ ran over to welcome me home, he asked, "What did they do to your face?!" I had told him that Mommy was going to get some special lotions and creams on my face at the "spa".

"Here, come smell.. Doesn't mommy smell good?" I asked, offering him a sniff of my cheek.

TJ takes a whiff and wrinkles his nose, "Eeeewww.. YUCK!.. There're bugs on your face!" And runs away laughing. Boys!! That's why they say they're made of snails and puppy dog tails!

Today, we took some pictures with my two boys. CJ was SO adorable, I wanted to just eat him up. He's two months old this weekend! He is such a cutie, I got a video of him talking to me. Seriously. I'd talk to him and he'd coo and goo-goo-ga-ga. I'm so serious, he really did!

As for TJ, we're best buds. TJ wanted to be a pirate for our photo session and as you can see, we were hamming it up for the camera. Ahoy, Mommy Mateys! Happy Mother's Day!

Recommendation: Baby Sleep & Soothing Baby Books

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:34:00 +0000

To go with my post today about sleep (or lack thereof), I wanted to post my two MUST HAVE tools of the trade for helping babies and toddlers sleep/nap better and colicky ones to be less fussy.

Okay, so for all the experienced parents out there, this post may be preaching to the choir. But for the parents who have colicky babies (like I did), who want a step by step guide to when and how to sleep a baby and toddler, these are what I call my "survival guides" for sleeping and sanity!

Book #1: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth

Why I recommend this book:

1) This book saved my sanity with my first child, who was one of the 5% of babies who have extreme fussy/colic.

What this means is that none of the moms in my mom support groups -- 20 moms -- had to deal with what my baby had for *6* months, which was crying around the clock and the inability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

It was painful to be told,"You're stressed, so the baby is feeling it too!" or "keep him awake longer and he'll be tired and fall asleep" or another of the common non-solicited advice was "Put the baby on a schedule." Yes, I did try the stroller. And I did try driving the car to help in sleep. And yes, I tried the binky, the swing, and etc. And no, they all did not work.

The book relieved me of all guilt because it said that some babies' sleep maturation just doesn't start until 5-6 months and that those babies canNOT be consoled, no matter what you do (or don't do). His advice? Just keep holding, rocking and do whatever it takes to minimize fussiness, even if it still leads to crying. And wait until 5-6 months before sleep training (which the book describes step by step). By the time TJ was 9 months old, he was sleeping through the night, all the way even to his 3rd birthday.

2) With my second child, who is one of the 90% of easy, common fussy babies, I was able to learn that babies can only be awake 1-2 hours (max) throughout the day. And they should be napped within 30 minutes for some. It gave me confidence to know I wasn't doing anything wrong by getting my baby to sleep all the time, even if it wasn't convenient for guests who wanted to play with the baby during their visit.

It was also very helpful to know that the first 3-4 months, I can expect that baby would wake up 2-3 times at night. And there wasn't anything I could really do to get the baby to "sleep through the night" other than waiting for the baby's natural sleep maturation process. It is the exception that babies would sleep through the night by 2-3 months, NOT the norm.

So, when I get those questions launched at me or unsolicated advice to get baby to sleep longer at night, I quietly know better, smile and thank them for their kind words.

Book #2, Happiest Baby on the Block, by Harvey Karp:

Why I recommend this book:

1) It tells how-to five secret tricks to get baby to stop fussing and crying. Dr. Karp calls them the five S's:

- Swaddling
- Side/Stomach
- Sucking
- Shushing
- Swinging

Both my babies needed the swaddling in order to stay calm and get whatever sleep they could catch. Swaddling may not seem "nice" to the untrained eye and conventional wisdom might lead some to think that babies should be "free". But, in fact, newborns want the security of being cuddled close to prevent their arms and legs from flailing, and swaddling definitely provides that needed comfort.

2) It explains that the first 3 months are called the "4th trimester" and really helped us set realistic expectations. Babies are not gurgling, coo'ing, and giving Kodak moments around the clock during the first months.

Even with my second child, I have turned to these books for reference on almost a daily basis. Each baby is different, so I've focused on different parts of the back that apply. I call the Weissbluth book my "sleep bible" because I read it every night, to encourage me to keep up the sleep training day by day!

Sleeping Through the Night.. or Not?

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:04:00 +0000

When I'm out with newborn CJ, one of the first questions I get from strangers is "How is he sleeping?" or "Is he sleeping through the night, yet?" In fact, I was just at Toys r US the other day, and this question was launched at me by the cashier while she was ringng my purchases up.

I think it's one of the universal questions that bonds all parents together. Like war veterans who share a brotherhood that transcends race or religion, battling those first months of sleep deprivation is the rite of passage for all parents.

Although CJ is number #2, and despite that many say that "the second time around is much easier", I am here to state, for the record, the sleep deprivation is NOT. So, if you are feeling bewildered why the second time is not easier, I am here to testify, we are not alone (of course, there are somethings that are easier, but getting up x number of times is not one of them).

Sleeping is one of the most underrated luxuries that singles have. The other day, I drove through downtown late one afternoon, having picked TJ up from preschool. With a screaming newborn unhappy in his carseat and TJ whining about who-knows-what (it was hard to hear), I couldn't help but stare longingly at the care-free twenty-somethings sitting outside the cafes with their lattes and cappuccinos, laptops opened for leisurely googling (or blogging, in my case!). I felt like a prisoner trapped on Alcatraz, able to see the city lights through the window bars, but shut out of everyday life. Oh, the humanity!

You don't know how good you've got it until it's gone. And boy, with the arrival our second born, sleep has really gone out the window.

Hubby and I thought we were in seventh heaven the first few weeks after the birth of our second child. Unlike our first born who mercilessly woke up every two hours to feed, CJ only squawked every three to four hours. Before his feeding session was over, CJ would have drifted off to sweet slumber. Aahhh, the sound of his newborn's soft snore was music to our ears.

Then, everything changed overnight. It was as if a switch had been flipped. CJ suddenly went from being a calm baby to a fussy, can't-fall-asleep-can't-stay-asleep baby. Life has turned into a complete madhouse since.

All we think about, eat, and breathe is sleep. We are consumed with wanting sleep, but not getting any of it. Every thought hovers around the moving target of sleep. How can I get the baby to sleep? .. Please, be quiet! The baby is sleeping! .. Better shovel some food in my mouth before the baby wakes up! .. SSSSSSHHH!! .. I've never shushed so loudly, so much before.

I could kill anyone or anything that would wake my baby up, even if it's for a 30 minute nap. You know, sleep deprivation is serious stuff, man! It is listed as one of the torture tactics in extracting intel from terrorists!

CJ's not the only little person keeping us from our zzz's. If I happen to finally doze off after the 2 am feeding, "WWWAAAAHHH!!!! ..." I'm painfully jolted out of bed by the screams of my three year old who just has to have a drink of water, or his teddy bear is lost, or his covers are messed up. And so on and so on..

Will I recover? Yes. When? I don't know. I keep telling myself, just put one foot in front of the other. Right when I seriously doubt if I can make it, I get my second wind. As I'm burping him after a 2am feeding, getting ready to pace the well-worn track in his bedroom for God knows how long, CJ looks up at me and smiles. Not the I'm-about-to-fall-asleep smile. A real smile. And though I'm crying 'cuz I'm delirious from not sleeping, I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the joy of being a mom. And I remember why I signed up for this... and smile back.

Can You Guess? My Favorite Things Post-Birth

bonnie@justpeachybaby.com (Bonnie Gray) — Sun, 03 May 2009 02:54:00 +0000

Guess where I went the first time I got out of the house after giving birth? It was exactly 10 days I was "shut in". Not only was I recovering from giving birth to a nearly 9 lb baby (as one of my friends commented, practically a "bowling ball"), I was tethered to CJ for around the clock feedings. It was just brutal. Then, halfway into the 2nd week, I was healing up pretty well and baby settled down a bit. I was dying to get out of the house.

I asked one of my closer girlfriends to guess where I ventured out, and she replied, "Hmm.. Well.. " thinking outloud, "I don't think you'd go for a facial.. " Oh, man if I wasn't so sleep deprived, I would've definitely hit the spa..

"Umm.. lemme guess.. Was it grocery shopping?!" she asked with some confidence.

"Are you C-R-A-Z-Y?! NO WAY!" I shot back. Hmm.. maybe this isn't one of my closer girlfriend, after all. I would not want to do anything domestic!

After a few more wrong guesses, like going to the gym or going to Target, I revealed my answer.

"THE MALL!" as if it wasn't obvious. Come on!

Now, let me make clear. I did not go to the mall to shop. 'Cuz after all, pssst... I'm still wearing maternity clothes. My post-natal body was not exactly giving me inspiration to go try out the latest spring fashions.

I was just wanting to be in the mall for the hustle and bustle. Ahh.. Serenity now... You know that calm buzz that fills you when you're in the mall? .. It's the kinda peaceful trance that hails back to when I'd hit the mall as a teenager. Even if I could only buy a pair of earrings that cost a few bucks, I loved kicking it back with an Orange Julius at the food court with a gal pal.

Except, fast forward, now I'm in my 30's, kickin' it with my sweetheart, Hubby. And it's no longer an orange drink I'm sippin'.

Nope, it's a delicious decaf mocha with my favorite chocolate brioche. And for my main squeeze, he stuck with a buttery, palmier (which was delicious, btw!). Eventhough we took CJ with us, he was the dreambaby 2nd week newborn - snoring away for hours while we giggled and laughed at how lucky we had it with our good sleeper.

Oh, pastries, coffee.. and the mall. Life couldn't be better!

If only we knew life would take a turn for sleeplessness in a couple of weeks... Ah! Igorance is bliss!