Well, there is a beginning and an end to all things, right?  And truly, if we think of life as a spiraling… and a movement upwards in a continuum of growth at all times, then there is no such thing as beginning and end, or past, present, and future.  I speak to you with words of love.  I speak to you with a voice from highest light.  I want to thank you for reading my journey of a thousand miles…Thank you for taking this journey with me.

Writing my life here, and creating this space has been a riveting experience.  I feel an overwhelming sense of support and love from all of you.  I am up to 40,000 visitors per month from all around the world and it has been with great enthusiasm that I prepared 150 sacred posts for you.  When I post, I think of all of you.  I think about the grace of love, and wonder of life, and the sheer enjoyment of evolution!  This feeling is what has kept me moving forward, as well as the bliss of your sharing.  I sit and wait for your comments like a child on Christmas day… I love knowing that someone is out there, witnessing my life.

I appreciate you.

This is my final post to the JujuMama Blog | Manifest Sexy.

I complete this cycle of my life and ready myself for the new year.  I have done what I needed to do here.  The love revolution has been televised.  I am, now, moving on.  Of course, the blog will remain awake and alive.  There are 150 posts here – that is three full length books for your reading enjoyment ~ all written free of charge, with absolute love and profound endearment.  But with this post, I end the saga – I leave a full year of my life written for all to see.  Nothing sensational about it – this has been, simply, a journey in trust and faith and love that I have allowed to come through me… to you.

Today I found a post on another blog.  I don’t read a lot.  Most of the theories on this blog are intuited…  I like to meditate and see and live a theory in order to know it.  Reading is so intellectual.  My ancestors or angels, or expansions of my imagination have informed my theories… But today I found this.  THIS is the quintessence of what I have meant to say all this time. I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  I offer it as a final post here on Jujumama | Manifest Sexy.

Thank you again.  You can always contact me by coming here and clicking “Make An Appointment”.  I am always with you on facebook and twitter and linked in and email – mail@jujumama.com.  I am always your Manifestation and Sexy Love Coach… but this journey, this blog journal, this amazing ride is done.  Enjoy this final post!

I’m Sorry I Love You: Simple Steps to Healing
by Dr. Joe Vitale

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients – without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story…

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho’oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.  [Well, I don't know about new and advanced... The ancients have been practicing this in the jungles of time for a millennium].

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,” he told me. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.”

I was in awe.

“Not only that,” he went on, “but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work.”

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said.

I didn’t understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy – anything you experience and don’t like – is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho’oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone – even a mentally ill criminal – you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.

That’s it?

That’s it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

In short, [Dr. Len says] there is no “out there” out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you.

And when you look, do it with love…

I offer Tears of Joy, lovelies!  Wasn’t that beautiful?

Full Circle.

Best and Bliss

Love Always

JujuMama xoxo

Kenya K Stevens

Signing off.

I dare you to create the committed relationship you desire by summer 2010!  You have to try Cn365.  My husband and I created it just for those who feel that their dreams are just out of reach.  Believe me, they are not.  You can have anything you want!  Life is just that simple…

But you have to use MORE than the Law of Attraction.  There are eight corresponding laws that make it happen! Cn365 enrolls September 21 – October 21.  Get it in!  Hope you enjoyed these testimonials… there are many more, but everyone is not willing to come online and share in this way.  Thank you for those ladies who did!  I love you!  Click the link below for more information on how to get started!

http://www.skwok.ca/jujumama/

Wow!  I feel so sexy.  It’s the third day of a new solar year and we have gathered 40+ individuals worldwide to personally support in manifesting two BIG goals in 2010.  Running this system is something that I would never have imagined myself doing when I graduated from Howard, or when I had my children, or even when my husband and I began this company.  We have manifested all that we need to provide this stellar service to you.  Bliss lives!

It is an honor to provide a clear path to success for so many deserving people – it is a thrill to receive personal calls at the end of each solar year from people what have manifested sexy new marriages and lasting relationships, awesome new careers and sustainable happiness!  All in ONE YEAR.  It takes one year of focus – and you can have it too!  Whatever you want, lets make it happen…  One year of mindfulness and a little bit of Juju Power!  Oh yes, we use gemstones, colors, vibrations, metaphysical processes, meditation, deep trance, we go way beyond reading a book, or listening to an audio.  Click the link below to know more about my system.  I think it’s time you live one year of your life with the solstices and equinoxes and see what magic the sun has in store for you!

Ciao!

So many women want to know is it necessary to marry.  I mean with this entire idea of open love and Universal Love, why marry?  Right?  Well, in my humble opinion, I think that marriage is a foundational step in obtaining what we think of as Universal Love.  Now please allow me to explain…

Do I believe that one has to be married in order to be happy?  No.  Of course not.  Happiness is a choice.  We can choose at any phase of life to be happy.  And we should, because happiness begets happiness.  If we are happy single, chances are we will meet happy people and enjoy happy relationships!

Do I believe that without a man, women are doomed?  No way!  One can spend a lifetime without a man and still enjoy the bounties of life!

What I am saying is that, as a married woman, I believe that marriage is good for me and a needed component in my life, even as I now have an Open Relationship.  I have come up with a few reasons as to why marriage is so wonderful.  Click and enjoy!

Jujumama’s Top FIVE List on why A Good Marriage is fabulous!

1.  Marriage ensures that one will be exposed to the Law of Duality.

The law of Duality is one of the Universal Laws just like the Law of Attraction.  I discuss that here. In a marriage there are two becoming ONE.  The law of duality is all about Yin and Yang and the coming together of these forces for harmony.  In each of ourselves, we have yin and yang.  When we come into union with a partner, we now have to decide of the two of us, who will be primarily yin and who will be primarily yang – this is obvious as there is now a new unit beyond the individual self.

So in this new unit, we have to have Yin and Yang.  Working this scenario out can be a real whopper of a task.  Often, in American relationships, there are two STRONG YANGS and fighting ensues until we work this out. (Here is a good way to work it out…)  So it is a wonderful thing to be able to work this out in marriage because we then create a new skill.  It is called adaptability and flexibility (the purpose of yoga).  If we can adapt to our roles in marriage, we are more well rounded and balanced people.  What a great thing about marriage, when this is adhered to…

2.  Marriage will increase your overall power to manifest whatever you want on Earth!

The power of manifestation is all about the coming together of yin and yang forces.  To make a baby on this planet, we have to have the coming together of man and woman.  Thus, and in like manner, to manifest money, cars, clothing, resources, joy, peace and love, we have to have the coming together of Yin and Yang.  In a marriage this is a powerful thing.  Have you ever seen a couple who argues all of the time and also has no cash?  This is simply due to the fact that the wasted energy in lack of harmony is preventing these two powerful forces called yin and yang to come together and manifest something.

When we use Tantra – or sensual bliss between yin and yang to come together and create – it simply means that the act of sex becomes a ritual and we can create anything from the bedroom.  How is this done?  Deep science – attend our Tantra retreat in December to discover this powerful skill and art!

But know this… If you have yin and yang balanced or a couple living the Law of Duality together, they become a vortex of synergy that can possibly create whatever they want together – through the act of loving one another, they both increase the power of the individual unit (single human being).  They are now a powerful magnet – with North and South Poles respectively – attracting all things good!  This has been luscious for me in my union!

Some say – well I can do this with any man or woman.  Sure you can!  But when you develop a lasting Vortex that you work on over the years with one person, this become a stronger force than the shorter term relationships that you will develop.  Right?

3.  Marriage will evolve you.

Becoming harmoniously united in love with one person for a lifetime is very evolutionary.  You will work out the Law of Duality and master it!  You will become the most powerful vortex known to man with your partner.  But most important – I expressed in the Progressive Relationships article that you will also be able to live the purpose of any relationship – which is GROWTH.  The purpose of love relationships are GROWTH – not love – GROWTH.  Love is the BENEFIT – GROWTH is the purpose… So, by spiraling upwards over the years with one mate, you will grow out of many older versions of yourself.  This may not sound fun, but this is the purpose of life itself – to grow into your best, most powerful, most sustainable and wise self!  Marriage with this purpose in mind will ensure this!

4.  Marriage is a microcosm of community

We are human beings on the planet earth.  But we are not islands.  We are interconnected and so the concept of community becomes important.  We need one another, we need one another’s gifts and talents to round out our own.  Thus, we create community, culture, mores and law.  Fabulous!  I have no problem with laws as long as they match up with Universal Law.

Now, in terms of the family unit – when forming communities, what is the base unit?  It is, of course the family unit.  Groups of families come together to form a community.  It happens in every culture since the beginning of time.  SO without the family unit could there be this larger unit we call community?  NO.  Just as without the individual, there could be no family or community.  Right?  So three circles – first individual – second family – third community.  Three concentric circles that make our meeting and sharing possible.

So we can’t just say -well, we no longer need the family unit – it just isn’t working out.  I will be alone, maybe have kids on my own and so forth… this would put a dent in the center circle – family… right?

5.  Marriage is a fertile place to raise children.

Because my husband and I have three children, I can speak on this one.  Children require a community to be raised.  The essence of that community is the individual family unit.  This family unit, as I spoke on earlier, is made possible with the harmonious coming together of a man and woman or couple (ok, man and man, or woman and woman as long as one is yin and one is yang).

But children need a real foundation of family in order to thrive, in my humble opinion.  Why?  They need a consistent example of the yin role and the yang role.  Without this, they end up fumbling in their own relationships because they do not know what a relationship is.  We have all been there.  Living in this country, the level of dysfunctional homes are soaring and we have all had our share of not seeing the roles clearly demonstrated which affect our ability to relate in our own relationships…

So with the evolution of a couple, the growth they experience together, and the living out of the yin and yang roles, they provide this sort of firm foundation for children.  Our children get to witness the foundational structure of yin and yang in harmony.  Now harmony does not mean that all the days are perfect.  Harmony simply means that they see us working to live our roles, with the purpose being growth.  This is more than enough.  Perfection is evolution in progress!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this…

I can say that, yes, I have a good husband and a family unit.  I created it at the age of 14 when I proclaimed that I would be married by the age of 21, which I was.  My parents are still together and I watched them work things out in their own say, and so I was not afraid of marriage.  Lucky me.  But anyone can clear the past and work towards harmonious relationships.  Anyone at all!

My good husband is married to me, a good woman.  But all human beings are good at heart so there is  good one for you too, maybe you already have him or her.  The point is that marriage is not, in my opinion, the issue.  The practice of marriage in this modern society seems to be without basic Universal Laws to govern things!  And it is so simple, you know  So simple really.

In terms of an open relationship – well I discuss the ten ways to know you are ready here – and I discuss the entire process here… Anyone who has a stable family unit can extend things if this is their desire… It is universal law… everything that is established will expand.  No need to fight it.  But also, no need to rush it.  My husband and I have an open relationship because we have done the work to set up a stable foundation of trust and love by utilizing the Law of Duality.  He is Yang and I am Yin.  He is the leader and I am the Devotee.  Both are Equally powerful positions…

Love and Light

Juju xoxox

I am that… yes, ahead of my time… I realize that I identify with this ad and with Steve Jobs because I am different, I am what some of you consider to be a different thinker… but I am real, I am sincere and I am committed to my purpose: To undo the guilt and shame that women and men feel about sensual/spiritual/sexual acts of love – thus opening millions to the Aquarian Paradigms of Universal Love, Progressive Love and Boundless Power to Manifest Anything Desired!

This week I have placed some older stories to the front page… I went digging in the JujuMama crates to see how far we’ve come as ONE… Thank you for reading JujuMama | Manifest Sexy circa 2008!

Here is the original post | Ahead of My Time | January 1, 2009

Ahead Of My Time…

That I am. That I am. It’s all good… When I say:

Change Your Man – what do you see? Do you see a miserable woman in an abusive relationship trying to tell you that she can Change him?  All the while suffering from a black eye?  LOL!

I see a beautiful Goddess, establishing relationship, wielding her mighty, unshakable, undeniable, spiritual power to shift reality; as if baking a cake – but stirring the pot of hips lifted high, thoughts even higher, luscious circles of light, glowing warm, moon essence womb, sifting thoughts, leaving the old behind…

No words, no lectures, no nagging, long gone is excessive talking or dramatic force – just pure crystalline magic seeping from seams from her skirts..

Sensual Tantrika, Love Soaked, Feminine Vibe…Water Bending Power… lusty dew in her eyes – She drenches him free and he doesn’t even know it…She drenches him subtly as she knows not to show it.  He reignites his fire, over and over again… he comes to find her, as gentle as the wind.   Strong and powerful, though, are his fires that glow, for within him rests bountiful, heartfelt intention to love her forever and ever…

Juju is just that simple!  Get your mind on your own magic today!

Order your copy of this epic work today!

Change Your Man…http://www.amazon.com

Love ya’ll!

JujuMama

WOW!  I am so excited to share this little note that came into my inbox after the call last night.  A wonderful soul, and good friend of mine wrote me a letter that I now call – the note from my own hell. Let’s talk about heaven and hell for a moment since it is, oddly enough and still, such a large paradox of modern culture…

Heaven is supposed to be a place we go when we die, if we are pure at heart – sinners, Fat Change!  Heaven is supposed to have pearly gates and cool, flowing, river of joy to bath in and stuff.  Good people go here to meet their maker.  Sound fun!  Hell, on the other hand, is the only other option. (should there not be a middle place for those who did some good and some bad…?  And BTW who defines good and bad for us? LOL!)  If you were “bad” this lifetime, you will go to hell when you die… OK?  And rumor has it that you will burn eternally.

So, of course, I have another spin on these mythological places called heaven and hell.  I don’t want to offend anyone, but certain non-Cristian, non-Islamic, non-Judaism based traditions have certain beliefs and sociologist in the West deem these beliefs “mythology”.  Other traditions have other beliefs and sociologists deem these beliefs “fact”.  I am a bit confused as to which as which, thus, I deem all traditional stories, religious beliefs and so forth, mythology.  I simply even the playing field, right?  If one culture is said to have a religion based on “mythology” and another’s are “fact”, and there are literally millions of different cultural/religious beliefs in the world, then who decides which is mythology and which is fact?  So I’ll be fair -then – and say that it is all mythology.  Don’t be offended, mythology is not a demeaning, condescending, dirty, word.  Right?  If it IS a dirty word then why are we using it to describe a cultural or religious belief anywhere in the world?  You feel me?  LOL!

Come on ya’ll.  I don’t play…  So lets move on to the note that I received from my hellish self!!!

My personal “mythology” (tee hee hee) is that heaven and hell are states of mind and states of matter.  When I think of hell – I think of the places I go to when I am angry, irritated, frustrated, incensed and otherwise taken in deep with negative emotion.  Now I do not believe that negative emotion is hell – I believe that my response to and use of these emotions can cause me to land in a living hell.  If I were to process these emotions and channel them wisely, then I could end up in heaven.  But if I attache to these emotions and think that i must carry them with me allowing them to stress me out, hold me back or otherwise destroy my life, then I am in hell.

On the other hand, I believe that I can have living heaven as well.  Positive emotion like Joy, Love, Bliss, Pleasure, Peace and Enlightenment can take me directly to a living heaven.  But again, it is all based on how I process these emotions.  If I feel the pleasure but then have guilt about it – hell again.  If I feel the joy but worry that the joy might some day be taken from me – living hell.  But when I embrace the joy, and bring more of it from the inside of me sharing it out – HEAVEN!  When I embrace the peace and the pleasure and enjoy it – and allow it to become a living part of me – Heaven again!  Yes, right here on planet Earth.

SO I say that I received this note from hell because it came from the parts of me that when processed improperly are my living hell.  The note is something I created from fear and lack and a disbelief in the Godliness of who I am.  (How dare I say God after calling heaven and hell mythological places, right?  LOL!)  This facebook note that I received came to me by way of the hellish thoughts that I have attached to over time and space.  BUT, I process the emotions properly and you can do this too!  Even with facebook comments that you do not “like”.  I allow the note from hell to take me directly to heaven!

So here is the note…

NOT EVERY PROBLEM IS CAUSED BY ONE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER!!!! Just stop proclaiming that Kenya–your one size fits all diagnosis is completely flawed. And, if one has deep psychological scares caused by her Father, that person needs the assistance of a Licensed, Trained, Caring, Professional Psychologist or Psychiatrist. There are plenty of Doctors of Psychology who are licensed, who practice spritual concepts in their treatment and who believe in the Law of Attraction. As a bonus, many people have insurance to cover the theraphy for next to nothing with a little co-pay. Lacing my ass—if anyone has real psychological issues, then they should seek assistance from a licensed professional with years of training–there are hundreds of professonals in the country who believe in spritual concepts and the impact of past lives. My heart goes out to anyone who has not had a kind and loving Father as I did. Please work with a professional to gain true inner healing.

~Your Hell (who refuses spell check)

What do you think guys?  This is a really deep note, right?

Wow!  So first question to always ask when we get this form of communication is – how did I create that???  Next question:  how is it my ticket to heaven if processed properly?  Well, let me count the ways.  First, I am overjoyed to see this part of me appear in my face this way.  Oh yes, what this note proclaims is a part of me that I thought I had dealt with but now I know I have not.

It is the self-doubt that I have always languaged on the inside.  I used to say it out loud, but now it is internal chatter – “who do you think you are, you do not have a degree in psychiatry – you have a degree in early childhood development, child psych and education – how are you going to administer life coaching… and what are all these modalities you are coming up with?  Lacing?  How did you create that and who are you going to sell that to?  Are you kidding me kenya k?”

WOW – Wow – wow!  So the note from hell, the hell within myself, is talking real talk. It is an exact and perfect mirror of my own thoughts.  So how is this a blessing and how do each of us, when we receive this type of input, stay clear on the purpose of it and use it to our advantage.  Here is how I do it…

1. Never take things like this personally.  Do not look at who said it and place blame.
2. Analyze the comment and be sure to thank the person who brought the message.
3. In your quiet time, think of the comment, feel the rage it made in you,  VERY IMPORTANT to feel the feelings.
4. Think about WHY this has come to you at this time, what is the lesson, and think in terms of how you created it!
5. You create all experiences to help you grow beyond who you were!  Know that as you analyze…
   
6. Find the meaning… find the mirror, find the purpose, and allow that meaning to put you to work on yourself!

OK, so I did this analysis last night when I realized… wait… I think these same thoughts that she shared!!!  This is a HUGE wake up call from my spirit telling me – HAY – KENYA – you still have to erase this thinking from your hard drive if you want to go further in your career.  We are screaming it at you KENYA – we are showing, with this note, that you still feel this way and have not dealt with it!  We are trying to help you KENYA!  LISTEN please… and learn!

Me:  OK, I see.  I still feel this way, my glorious friend is a vehicle for SPIRIT!  Thank you glorious friend.  I see that I have not cleared these negative beliefs!  Now I can get to work…

Me:  I get to work.  I sit down and meditate.  First I go back to the time when I said these very same things to myself… doesn’t feel good, I was young and afraid… then I go back further… oh yes, I feel this way because someone told me that I could not accomplish what I wanted until I had certain degrees and accolades…  I was nine then.  Is it true Kenya?  Is it true Kenya?  IS IT TRUE? YYYYEESSS!  I still believe that it is true!  No matter how much talent I have – I need something more to prove it!

Me:  I begin to cry during the meditation… I feel it is true.  I have to be Tony Robbins, I have to be a white woman named Dr. Ruth… I have to be older… I have to be smarter… I have to be rich… It takes money to make money… It is hard to make it… I have to have straight hair… no kinky hair… no short hair… no long!   (OMG is that why I spent 400 dollars on my fly new do?) [New realization: My new look is a part of my path... I can accept it and love it just as I loved natural kinky hair for the past 20 years! - All is ONE]

Me:  Crying more and meditating deep… doing some EFT to to tap into my cellular memory… It is not true. Tapping…  Even though I feel that I have to be more in order to share the gifts that God (I said God again… LOL.  Am I still allowed?) has given me, I still love myself and I still intend to move forward with my objectives… Tapping… Even thought I feel that I am not smart enough, rich enough, or white enough to make this happen, I still love myself and I am still willing to move successfully toward my objectives. My body shivers as it releases those cellular memories…

Me:  The tears flow out and I am now visualizing the people I have already laced, the people who say things like “Kenya, you have changed my life” I am now even seeing the work I did for ten years with others before charging a single dime… but now at 35 ~ this as a career… so I charge… That brings guilt… why?  So I go back further… Tapping…Why is there guilt in charging for my talent?  Mother, father, they had businesses and worked hard and felt guilt in charging and still do 30 years later!  So I clear that- I clear even for them… them… them…  I visualize them charging and loving it because people are loving and finding value in them, and I see them with retirement cash because they charged properly for the past 30 years instead of sacrificing themselves…  Ah that feels better.

Me:  Them lovely…   I see lawyers, doctors, Psychiatrists charging $500 an hour and then I see me – I went to school for just as long as they did – four years at Howard, ten years at Ausar Auset school for Meta-physicians… I paid the price, I charge… And with 78% of women still non-orgasmic and 66% of marriages still adulterous… and with 55% of marriages still breaking up and … I charge…I share… tapping.  Even the millions of psychiatrists have not yet solved it… There is room for all.

Me:  And I see myself create my own certification program.  Degrees?  I will give them.  My methodologies, priceless.  Abundant people from everywhere wanting to discover the modalities, like Lacing, Tantric Lacing, The Three Way Mirror, The Progressive Relationships, The open Relationship, Yin and Yang rebalancing… they want it.  NO matter their age, skin color, no matter my age, skin color, we see pure light in one another and we grasp hold.  My methods were channeled to me and this is higher than a college degree, not that I do not already have one.  But will be even more than that… more than a peice of paper that my parents paid 100,000 dollars for.  Dollars that they sacrificed themselves for…  My methods Will heal… Do heal… Will heal… Do indeed heal – And I have the testimony to prove it, but I do not need testimony prove it.  Kenya does heal… we all heal. Kenya is enough.  We all are enough.

And all the while – it is not me – it is through me that this healing happens.  It is through me that the Universe speaks and writes.  And I accept that.  I accept me.  I honor me.  I don’t need your degree for that.  You need mine.

And after the tears stop.  I am in heaven.

And after the salt water carries away the mythology of a dying mental paradigm (my own hell), heaven awaits.

And after I look back at this message on Facebook that she sent to me, to me!  A gift to me, to me!

I see that she is my heaven on Earth.  She is my Lord and Savior, yes the letter writer herself, my savior.  We are always that for one another… no matter what the words, no matter what the energy of the words, no matter what.

No Matter What
(I love that song by TI)
Now this type of processing will create Whirled Peas… fo sho!
Bliss to you!
Juju xoxox

Hay love!  Check this call I did on Blog Talk Wednesday Night.  You’ll love it!  I had a ball!

The Topic is my epic book – Change Your Man… find it here http://jujumama.net/products.cfm

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Kenda-Bell/2009/09/17/tba

The above link houses the recording of the call – enjoy!

Wow – I am so happy for Whitney Houston.  And I am really excited for Bobby Brown too.  What?  Oh, you didn’t expect for me to say that, huh?  Well, I said it.  I love both of these amazing human beings who agreed to show us all what it looks like to live in a relationship with:

A. No relationships training

B.  No relationships support

C.  Without consciously taking 100% responsibility for manifesting creation.

Oh yes.  Bobby and Whitney are but models to demonstrate to America and Americans what is going on in each of our relationships to some degree or another.  They agreed to do it, to show us, to be the model for us to look at, judge, decipher, pontificate over and thus become closer to discovery of our own selves.  Kudos Blissed couple!  You even did a great little reality show for us to get the inside scoop…

So what have we learned?  Let’s begin Lesson ONE.:

The Dumb Down Vs Feminine Receptivity

So Whitney proclaimed that she had to dumb herself down after making the hit movie Bodyguard because Bobby became jealous of her.  How often do you hear that?   Very often indeed.  Many women feel as though they have to become smaller in order to appease their men, especially if she is more "successful" than the man she is with.  However, I have a different remedy for women who might feel this way.  Maybe Whitney is reading this post and can practice this the next time she attracts this situation.  Oh yes, she will attract it again because apparently she has not taken the moral of her story (Lemons) and made use of it (Lemonade).

So what is the difference between dumbing down and being feminine.  BIG difference!  When Whitney said she dumbed down, she really meant that she recognized Bobby’s alleged "jealousy" and tried to do things that would make him know that she still respects him even as the world gave her respect for her accomplishments.  Great!  But is it necessary?  No.  And did she attract his behavior, yes!

Here is how we as woman attract men to show up as envious of us, or even intimidated by us.

1. We expect it.  We are so fearful of our own light that we second guess ourselves and we feel that everyone will judge us based on our perceived status… And so because we focus on that expectation, we attract the malevolent behavior directly into our lives.
2. We look for it.  Because of the way we were raised – “don’t brag, don’t be a show off, don’t be so uppity – so forth, we begin to look at our own accomplishments through the lenses of fear.  We fear that others will be envious and we look for that behavior in others.  When we find it we say “see!  Mom was right, people are envious of me” and thereby, we attract what we are looking for (even if only sub-consciously are we looking for it.)
3. We are refuse to submit to a man.  "Successful" women, because of the first two areas of concern, often say to themselves that they do not need a man, or that they can do without a man.  Even if they want a "good" man, they fear they will never find one, and they even secretly fear that if they do find one, he will want us to dumb down.  And so we attract what we focus on!  And when we get into that "terrible" situation with an envious man, we revert back and try to harmonize things by "dumbing down" instead of being naturally receptive and surrendered to him; but it does not work because in essence we are supposed to be getting rid of fear, doubt, and negative thought patterns and submitting naturally to the man!  So the dimming down does not work and we say "you see, I tried to submit to him, but it did not work, he abused me".

In either case and when things don’t work out – Its time for the blame game.  So old paradigm!  Let’s take a lesson from Whitney.  She had several options when faced with the jealousy that she expected and thus created in a mate.  She could have:

• worked on the fears that she had about people being jealous of her, eradicated these from her thinking
• exercised feminine receptivity and surrender which is more natural and authentic than a fake “dumb down”

How does one do these two things?

Well, women and men have fears.  Growing up in the good ole USA ensures that we will not honor ourselves and value our talents.  Usually parents tell us not to be a show off because others will be upset.  All of this is non-sense.  But it is sown into our sub-conscious minds young.  So we have to reach into the sub-conscious mind and work those fears away.  This is done through meditation, trance, deep thought, artistic healing, tantric healing and a process I created called Lacing.  The sub-conscious mind does not understand language.  It understands music, emotion, feeling, art, scent and visions.  So this is how you can retrain the brain to be fearless and thus attract fearless individuals!

In terms of being feminine authentically.  There are many ways to do this.  First and foremost, it is allowing your man to be the leader of the household.  Even with Whitney’s great “success” she would have to depend on Bobby to be her guard and guide.  Now this may have been difficult because she had management staff for this.  But he would have to be placed into a major role of governance in order to feel a part of things.  Instead of “dumbing down” if she had placed him is a role of leader and guide, asking him questions about what directions she should take, honoring his opinion and advice, depending on him for certain tasks like financial management, and protection, he would have felt quite at home in her life.

Instead, he was a boy.  She attracted him that way.  But the way to grown a jealous boy into an honorable man is to honor him.  Not dumb down, but honor him as a man.  Need him!  You know?  She would have had to depend on him for specific things and allowed him to grow into that role.  All the while, complementing him and supporting him with soft, warm, embracing feminine magic!

Does it still seem abstract?  Well, here is a list of practical things that we ladies can do to create in any man that dignity that we adore.  We can make any man hospitable and giving by taking these steps.

1. No matter how much money you make, allow your man to take the lead on how the money is spent, paying the bills, managing the finances.
2. Go to your man with all questions concerning direction and ask him what to do.  Let his wisdom unfold upon you.  Men are very wise (as are women, but more so because of intuition, not practical logic)
3. Compliment your man when he has made a choice, tell him how well following his advice worked for you and thank him for the advice and support.
4. Submit to your man in the bedroom, try not to make sex happen on your own terms all of the time.  If he initiated sex, go with it and ENJOY him!  Tell him how much he pleases you (even if he does not) Recall the law of attraction.  If you are focused on enjoying him then eventually he will become very enjoyable in the bed.  If you are focused on how he does not measure up then you will attract more and more distance and turmoil int he bedroom.

Do you have to do these things?  Hell no!  But should you do them if you want a harmonious union, indeed you should and can!

So thanks again Whitney for showing us something very important.  Men need to be considered a success in order to feel comfortable in the relationship.  And women have the power to encourage it.  When we do, then we get anything we desire from our men, why?  Because nothing succeeds like success!  Men will feel that everything they do is fabulous and thus come to you more often to find out what you need, what you desire and what you really crave.  And they will not be afraid to at least try and deliver because you are always complimentary and rarely blame them for not "doing it right".

Bliss and Light!

Juju xoxo

(I am sure you have some comments on this one, lets chat!  Leave your comments below.  Bobby and Whitney – Lesson II coming soon!)

This is an interesting article that I found… I love the Examiner – such an open minded post…

Armoring is a process whereby past traumatic experiences are stored in the body’s muscle tissues. What happens is that the body’s tissues harden, creating tension and blocking energy flow to the area that was traumatized. (The Art of Sexual Ecstasy)

Article By:  Luminessa Enjara

In general your entire body is armored. This usually starts at an early age, even during infancy. To the degree that we as babies and later children feel safe, loved and cared for, is the degree in which we begin to develop armoring…

Child rearing up until the last 50 years often included things like spanking or letting a baby cry for long periods of time without being touched. These may sound archaic to you now but there was a time when this was the normal way to raise a child. So much of our armoring develops over the course of a lifetime in many different ways. Wilhelm Reich a colleague of Freud, was one of the first to discover body armoring or structure characteristics.

The body’s intention by armoring itself is to protect itself from pain. When the genitals become armored you will have either a reduced level of sensitivity or an increased sensitivity in them. They are also a major storehouse for negative imprinting which results in reducing your ability to receive pleasure. As mentioned in my previous article, Sexual Healing for Women, traces of every negative sexual imprint or unsatisfactory sexual experience has been recorded and stored in the muscular tissues of your genitals, which builds up tension in that area over time.

For men, circumcision, religious beliefs of guilt and fear associated with masturbation, sexual abuse, clumsy prostatic examinations as well as the forced “masculinity” of teaching men to thrust forcefully in lovemaking, contribute to genital armoring. Armoring for men can show up in a variety of ways. It can cause the penis to lose a great deal of sensitivity so that it requires extremely strong stimulation to achieve arousal, or by contrast, oversensitivity, a “don’t touch me” stance. Armoring also manifests for men as tension in the anal sphincter muscles as mentioned in my last article on the Male Sacred Spot Massage.

In women, armoring can occur by guilt associated with masturbation, sexual abuse, forceful male fingering, sexual intercourse without sufficient foreplay, making love when you don’t feel like it, failing to reach orgasm, having an abortion, or undergoing a caesarian birth or a hysterectomy.

Margot Anand has come up with a map for genital armoring and a few questions you can ask yourself. Think about them slowly rather than giving them a reflex response.

Women:

Were you forced into sexual intercourse or sexual manipulation at an early age, before you were ready?

Have you ever made love because your partner was turned on, even though you didn’t feel like it?

Have you ever felt your partner left you “hanging in midair” while he was already “over the edge”?

Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Men:

Have you ever made love as a performance, even though you had no enthusiasm for it?

Have you ever found yourself so busy giving pleasure to your partner that you forgot about your own pleasure?

Have you ever found that you could not masturbate to orgasm unless your movements were “hard and fast”?

Both:

During sex have you ever found to your dismay that you couldn’t feel anything “down there”?

Have you ever made love as a way of avoiding confrontation with your partner or covering up your anger?

Have you ever believed that everyone else was sexual and orgasmic, while you were lagging way behind, feeling just a trickle of a satisfaction?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you probably have some genital armoring. Remember also, that these questions may not reflect everything that can cause genital armoring.

If you do feel you have some armoring, and many people do, you may wish to look into doing some sexual healing work around being de-armored. A wonderful but challenging week-long training for this is with the Metis Deer Tribe’s warrior training which is designed specifically to de-armor your entire body, including your genitals. You can also work with your partner using some of the healing techniques I have written articles about, both sacred spot massage techniques I have written about help to de-armor the genitals, or see a sexual healer. Any psychological attitudes that have developed from your sexual experiences will also have a chance to be healed and released with this type of work.

When a woman’s yoni or vagina, is healed it is soft and naturally yielding, welcoming, allowing a sense of trust and playfulness in lovemaking. She will be open to receiving the love of her man. When a man’s penis is free of armoring and he has healed his lingam or penis it will be more flexible, warm, and vibrantly alive when erect. He will also feel more open and receptive, relaxed and playful during lovemaking.

I hope that you have found this article informative and that it will assist you in discovering and healing any genital armoring you may have.

I most certainly have!  It’s Jujumama – Love you Luminessa!  You ROCK!

Tantra Jamaica as well as our traveling Tantra and Relationships BlissShops also address armoring and show the technique we use (Lacing) to work out past trauma… we’ll talk more about that soon!

I Can Attract Relationships That Agree with My Desires… People are not finding it difficult to find the mate of their dreams because that person is not out there, but because of their own contradiction to their own desire in the thoughts they offer about the subject every day.

When you consistently offer thoughts about your future relationship that feel good while you think them, that means you are consistently matching the desires that you have discovered as you have lived life. And under those conditions, only someone in agreement with your desires could come to you. Under those conditions, no need for control is necessary.

Through each exposure to interacting with others, you launch continuous rockets of desires of what you prefer. And only when you are a Vibrational Match to the culmination of those desires will you allow your rendezvous with someone who matches those intentions that you have gathered along your physical trail.

— Abraham

Excerpted from Abraham’s newest book, The Vortex, Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships