English Jokes Joks : Crispy Funny Jok of the Day Daily Humar Adult Comedy Sardar Doctor La

Drunkard

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Fri, 25 May 2012 08:57:00 +0000

A drunkard, who was fully drunk, picking up an empty bottle from the bottles kept in front of him, said -
" You are the one, because of whom my wife left me" and then he broke it throwing it on the ground.
Then he picked up the second empty bottle -
" You are the one who spoiled my house" and he throw it angrily on the ground.
Picking up the third bottle he said -
" You are the one who spoiled my whole life" he broke this one too.
Lastly he picked up the last bottle, which one was still full,
" You don't have to worry ... you are not at all at fault... on the other after this much of misery ... you are the one who is going to give me a support" he opened it and started to drink.

New Cell Phone

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Wed, 23 May 2012 09:17:00 +0000

A lady buys a new Cell phone.
To surprise her husband
She goes to the Kitchen, and .... calls her husband...
"HI DARLING"
He says "Call You Later Dear ... The devil Is in kitchen"

When sardar was shocked

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 10:46:00 +0000

Banta got an Invitation for Party,
They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to the party, he was shocked???
WHY?
because others were wearing pants & shirts also...

How many Apples can you eat in empty stomach?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 10:31:00 +0000

Boy: How many Apples can you eat in empty stomach?
Girl: I can eat 6 Apples.
Boy: You can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach because when you eat the second Apple that's not in empty stomach..

Released in the interest of People !

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 07:46:00 +0000

If your Wife kises u

Every Time u Come home, beware ... Its Not Affection..

Its Inspection Of

Liquor, PERFUME OR LIPSTICKS..

Be Careful.

Released in the interest of People !

Did you know ?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

What should I do?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 09:43:00 +0000

Chaman - My wife is passed away yesterday, I tried hard, but I could not get tears in my eyes, What should I do?
Mani - Nothing ... just imagine she has came back.

What would you do?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 04:42:00 +0000

Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

Boy: Easy, stop imagining

Belt and his Age

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:51:00 +0000

Belt and his Age

Why are you late?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 08:15:00 +0000

Wife: Why are you late?

Husband: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Wife: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Husband: No. I was standing on it

What time does the library open?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 04:55:00 +0000

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.

"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"

"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.

"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"

"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

Psycho, The Rapist

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 04:36:00 +0000

Santa goes to a library and asks for a book ” Psycho, The Rapist”. The librarian searched for hours… comes back slaps Santa & says ” Idiot! The book is called Psychotherapist”

Windows Addiction

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 08:23:00 +0000

Even when his Internet is down, Ted can still use WINDOWS

Two Ladies are Fighting...

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:47:00 +0000

Two Ladies are Fighting For A Seat In A Bus ..

Bus Conductor: The Older One Should Sit Here

Both Looked At Each Other

And The Seat Remained Empty

four legs under the blanket ...

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 04:30:00 +0000

Wife comes home late at night

and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket

she sees four legs instead of two! ...

She reaches for a baseball bat

and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,

she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,

she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. ...

"hi darling", he says,

"your parents have come to visit us,

so I let them stay in our bedroom.

Hope you have said hello to them.

Why are u arrested?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 04:21:00 +0000

Judge :-

why r u arrested?

Sardar :-

for shopping early?

Judge :-

well, that’s not a crime!

Sardar :-

Yes ... that's not a crime...

Judge :-

anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar:

before opening the shop…..

Traffic Signals

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 06:36:00 +0000

But then I got a job ...

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:48:00 +0000

Initially... you know... I used to work too hard , but then I got a job ...

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 06:32:00 +0000

Once during a Management training program, a team of Senior Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So these Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.

They're falling off the ladders, dropping the measuring tape - the whole thing is just a mess.

An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers,

Re-erects the flagpole and walks straight-away.

After the Engineer has gone, one Manager turns to another and laughs …

"Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length!"

Moral: No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you.

Funny but true

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 04:23:00 +0000

If a man has an apartment stacked to the ceiling with newspapers, we call him crazy. If a woman has a trailer house full of cats, we call her nuts. But when people pathologically hoard so much cash that they impoverish the entire nation, we put them on the cover of Fortune magazine and pretend that they are role models.

If a man has

Worst Job

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 04:19:00 +0000

Benefit

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:49:00 +0000

Patient - Doctor I am taking daily medicines costing about Rs. 100 daily, but I could see there is no benefit.
Doctor - O.K I will give you the medicine costing Rs. 75, so that you will have benefit of at least Rs. 25.

Bump on head

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:35:00 +0000

A patient with a bump on his head comes to the doctor.
Doctor - How did it happen?
Patient - I was trying to break a rock, hitting on it with my fists. One of the passer by said, " Use your head"

Best way

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 05:41:00 +0000

Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.

"I started a new practice last year,"

The first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."

"Why in the world would you do that?" the other asked.

She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without."

Dentist joke : How much it cost?

noreply@blogger.com (Sunil Doiphode) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:37:00 +0000

How long will it take to pull my tooth? The patient asked the dentist.

Only two seconds

How much will it cost?

Fifty dollars.

˜For only two seconds of work?

Well, The dentist answered coolly, I can pull it very slowly if you prefer !