Over the last few weeks I’ve played a number of solo shows in Shepparton at the Yahoo Bar and The Workshop (Melbourne). I particularly enjoyed opening for ‘The Wild Women Show with Kelly Auty‘ at the Shepparton Arts Festival on the 14th March. This was held at Westside Performing Arts Centre, Mooroopna (over the bridge from my hometown Shepparton). Let me say that Kelly and her band were fantastic, and lots of fun to hang with backstage.

I must admit that stepping on stage to perform to a seated audience in the theatre type setting was a little daunting at first. I’m used to people buying drinks and making some noise, but there was none. All eyes were on the stage and I was thinking that perhaps I could have prepared a little something to say. Perhaps, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.  Before my final song ‘Wings of your Love’ I took the opportunity to talk about the need for us being more open to strangers and reaching out to our community. Although most of us weren’t affected by the bushfires directly (not to downplay this tragedy), each of us have spot fires in our lives and need the support of each other, possibly more now than ever. This topic is becoming ever more closer to my heart and I look forward to being actively involved in community building projects in the future.

Thanks to Kurt (Kelly’s Bass player) who put me onto Richard Thompson and John Martyn. I’ve been Listening to John Matyn’s ‘Solid air’ and ‘Bless the Weather’ albums. I highly recommend them, and any Nick Drake who I’ve only just discovered also.

So 13 songs are chosen for recording. The songs are pretty much finished except a couple. The timeline has changed as my life has taken a severley unpredictable turn the last few months.  Still the recording will be happening early in the new year. I’m sorry that I’ve been unable to keep promises regarding recording earlier and performing more shows, but shit happens. I wish you well, and I’ll keep you updated!

Love to you and this world,

Joel

Where to start? I guess I’ll begin with what’s on my mind. I’ve recently separated from my partner of 9.5 years. I was with her since I was 17, and tonight I am overwhelmed with tears (even as I write). I have spent the last few months coming to terms with what we had been aware of for quite some time. We did so many things so well. We laughed lots and gave each other the space to grow. I guess in this growing, somewhere we grew apart.  It was never my intention for our relationship to end like this. I thought we would grow old together…

I have a lot of guilt over what I could have done differently. I could have been more of a ‘provider’, and taken more time to slow down and stop striving for someday. There is a lot that I wish I had and hadn’t done.  Still, no one taught me the things that I lacked, and to only concentrate on the ending of a relationship doesn’t do justice to the journey that was/is the relationship. We will remain close friends, but right now I just feel an overwhelming sense of loss. To the person that I am referring to, thank you for all the love and freedom you have offered me all these years. Your love will remain an integral part of me and I will never forget your generosity to me, or the privilege of spending  nearly 10 years in a committed relationship with you.

Just letting you know that I’m excited about a few new songs that I’m writing, which seem to be coming from a really honest place. It’s been a while coming, but for some reason there is a creative flow happening for me now. I’ll be introducing these songs into my regular Saturday busking (usually Bourke St out the front of JB hi-fi) and I’m now starting to pursue gigs which I know has been well overdue. There has been a lot of personal things that I’ve had to focus on first.

Just letting you know that I’m really positive about how the songs are looking for the album and I’ll keep you posted on gigs shortly. I’m actually moving house over the next few weeks so soon after that is the plan!

Lastly, thanks to everyone who supported my busking efforts yesterday, especially Richard who went out of his way to help me take my busking gear out of the rain.

Bye,
Joel

Yesterday my day started off with a heap of tears (as I’m currently going through a tough time with my long term relationship) and I really needed a lift. I was comparing myself to other men who had more money and career success (obviously this depends on how you define success!). I wondered if  my relationship was struggling due to the fact that I could have been more of a ‘provider’, instead of battling my way through some precarious paths in pursuit of my own happiness and in a sense, my manhood.  This brings up a lot of insecurity in me as my dad died before I was born of an Asthma attack and I never really learned in a conventional sense what it is to be a ‘man’. Along the way I had some significant male role models, but some who clearly had their own agenda for me and actually discouraged me from going down my own path, in favour of their own ‘higher way’. I guess you could say that I have struggled with my own sense of identity for a while outside of the institutions of religion and marriage (save that discussion for another day).

So I found myself sobbing and then started praying for some encouragement. When I say praying I don’t mean “Our Father who art in heaven…”, I’m talking about the kind of prayer that all people have access to that is not belief specific. I’m talking about the inherent spiritual connection that we are all born with, not born disconnected from as some prefer to believe! You could argue that this is just my belief, which is a valid point, so I won’t judge you over it - Haha. No judgement here peoples!! Hear me?

As I waited on the train with my usual busking gear and got a text from a mate (one of my many wonderful friends) who sent me a text cause he felt like I needed some encouragement! It read “Remember, the past is over and the future isn’t as important as the here and now…live for today and enjoy the harmony of the world and universal peace”. - So for the skeptics of my belief, there it was … A SIGN hehehe

The rest of the day was inspiring as I met fellow busking friends and other beautiful people who I know well. I had the best busking day for ages in terms of sales, but also encouragement. Thanks to everyone who supported me, all those many bright faces who walk past in some cases giving money and also the energy of their being. I can’t get enough of the smiles and mutual acknowledgment. This seems to be where I’m basing my manhood from these days and it’s refreshing.

While I was performing near the corner of Little Collins and Swanston St, this chick came across the road and started yelling at me. She said “That is all residential over there you know, and you are so loud that I can’t hear my television”. I stayed looking at her as she interrupted one of my favourite songs and I began playing really softly without turning the main volume down.  Meanwhile an incredibly loud street sweeper rolled past as did a couple of trams and I was struggling to hear her. She threatened to call the police if I wouldn’t turn it down from the main volume immediately. I couldn’t help wonder why her need for low volume at 6pm on a Saturday night, on one of the busiest streets of Melbourne wasn’t considered before she decided to take up residency there. Just a minor oversight I guess…

All in all I had a great day and felt reconnected by the end of it.

Catch ya,

Joel

Today I caught the train into the city, and was feeling quite relaxed until I became suddenly aware that I had left my mic stand at home. This kind of “shat” me (past tense of shit, other forms accepted are “shitted me right off”, or could be put “gave me the shits” - not sure if this is just an Australian saying, but I like it). It shat me because I would either have to catch a train back home and then to the city again, or buy a mic stand from the city. After I stopped mentally abusing myself for my oversight, I decided to walk to the music shop in the city and buy one. That was sweet until I walked 10mins back to where I was about to start playing, and realised that I had forgot to buy a mic clip while I was there. Okay, so… day off to a great start!

I had lunch and coffee from my usual coffee spot and then played for a couple of hours on Bourke St, just east of Swanston St. I met some sweet people and shared many sidewalk glances with many beautiful people (that’s all of you!).

Before the second session, I had a cup of tea which was a personal milestone for me since I normally go for a coffee again. I’m cutting down you see…  sure, whatever… The point being that I sat down with my cup of tea and met an amazing man named Borris. This is the part of busking that I love the most. I never know what kind of people are going to come my way. Borris spoke to me about the importance of doing what I love which he reminded me was music (thanks Borris), and he told me from experience that money alone wont make me happy. He said that anyone who tells me otherwise is full of shit! Haha! This dude was funny in how plainly he spoke to me, but clearly he was a man who has a lot of money and could see in his own life that he had sacrificed some elements of happiness in his pursuit of money.  Borris listened to me, and so I didn’t hesitate in sharing some personal areas of my life that are of concern to me at the moment. He offered me profound insight and reminded me that we all end up in the ground someday. He said not to listen to anyone who wanted to dictate to me how I spent my days above ground at the expense of my own happiness. We spoke for over an hour and then I was ready to perform for a couple more hours.

Second session took place around the corner of Swanston and Lonsdale St. This was when the wind got really chilly and my hand kept cramping up. After this session the man from the ice-cream shop that I was busking out the front of, asked if he could swap my change for notes. I didn’t hesitate. It’s amazing how many people like to eat ice-cream at extremely low temperatures. Why not… i guess?

On the way home on the train there was a young teenage male and female couple who carried bags of paint that they were obviously sniffing. They looked spaced out as you can imagine and I felt sad for them. More so because of the permanent brain damage that is happening that may be irreparable . It’s crazy that this is happening, and that I’m meeting stacks of young people lacking self love and respect, who do things that fundamentally make them disapprove and reject themselves even more. To you to teens, whoever you are, may you find love and peace within yourselves and be healed from the cycles of negativity!

Goodnight,

Joel

Last week I received a letter telling me that God’s will was for me to become a Pastor and to use my music talents to give service to the church. Apparently the letter must have been from God himself/herself, as the author also claimed to be my conscience and basically told me that I was living in sin and needed to get back to my fundamental religious days.

I must say that it came as a bit of a surprise. The person used to be my pastor and although I haven’t responded yet, I’m glad they were so blunt so now I can be blunt in return. No offence any fundamentalists reading this, but you can give up calling me to repentance as it ain’t going to happen your way. Are you going to ask for my forgiveness for teaching me that I am fundamentally sinful and there is no ounce of hope in me, and teaching me to feel guilty about touching my girlfriend sexually before marriage? I don’t think so!  I’m talking about severe guilt and self hatred that you teach in order to glorify God. Not my way!

Well I believe that people are lovable without having to subscribe to a particular belief or worry about being damned to hell! After all, didn’t Jesus say “If you can’t love man who you see, how can you love a God who you don’t see?” And also, “Love others as you love yourself”?  If this is true then loving ourselves should be taught. Not being afraid if we will make it into God’s good books or not.  Therefore how can we love a heaven we can’t see, if we despise the world that we see.? The world that some religious enthusiasts trash and believe is going to be burned up in a big fire as it says in the book of revelation. That is disrespecting our creator!! Love is universal, not for the chosen few. Get it? Language is limited and can complicate simple truth. Be here with me and let’s receive together!

Peace to you…

Love yourself, others, and this world you’ve received and you will praise God!

May this site be a platform for people to share stuff about life. Although my reflections are through my eyes, I’m interested in celebrating what we have in common for the benefit of life and living!
Peace,
Joel

Hi
So I admit it, I’m no household name, and I’ve clearly spent more money making music than I’ve made through music. However, today I celebrate the fact that I sold my first CD online! Marketing experts may say to hide such info, and give the impression that I’ve sold heaps. Well I’m too excited to hide it! The site is only new and I see this as the beginning of greater things to come. So thank you to the dude from the western suburbs (which is my part of town), I’m eternally grateful! I’ll be sending the CD off tomorrow with a personalised note and a sense of great satisfaction!
Thanks again for everyone who keeps me believing in my music dreams!!!

Joel