According to Pew research

80% of 19 – 25 year olds see getting rich

as a top life goal for their generation.

Next is being famous at 51% followed by helping the needy at 30% and being a leader at 22%.

Society complains that Gen X or Y feel so entitled but fails to convict itself of its role in creating an altered reality.  Through no fault of their own many children of the 80’s were handed luxury and steeped in keeping up with the Joneses.  The decade of excess epitomized by the 1980’s in America (sometimes dubbed the decade of greed) seriously skewed our ideas about success.  Young adults were no longer satisfied living in a split-level or ranch homes that they grew up in but built executive homes, put their children in designer clothing and more.  On page 33 of his book, “Is the American Dream Killing You”?, Paul Stiles states:

“Since the 1980s, American personal savings rates have been going down while personal income has risen and credit card debt has tripled.”

If adults fell prey to the messages, consider how firmly entrenched the entitlement mindset might be for those born during that time.  It’s true: Children learn what they live and those who are  late Gen X and all of Gen Y have never known any other way of thinking or being.

In part I of this series we examined how something as fundamental as how the very definition of the word success; initially meaning achieving a goal, had devolved to become about material wealth.  The the clip by Alain DeBotton urged us to consider how we “suck in” our ideas of success from outside sources. What we are experiencing is a potentially dangerous mind meme – the belief that success means money, prestige and status has gone viral.  The problem with any meme is that we are often unaware of its impact on our thoughts, values and behaviors. This unchecked meme is dangerous because it’s at the root of so much unnecessary suffering – personal debt, low self-esteem, corporate greed, mistrust, political backstabbing, stress, and depression – among a few.

Stiles provides an example of Maslow’s hierarchy when he states:

“Money only buys happiness up to a point. Once you have clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and food on the table, multiple sources suggest that all the money in the world will not make you a bit happier.  Ironically, beyond a certain point, money actually buys unhappiness.  After a basic standard of material well-being, happiness comes from family and friends, marriage, leisure activities, and the nature of your work.  Ironically, these are all negatively impacted by the excessive pursuit of money, which creates stress, steals family time, alters moods, and breeds friction”…Oh, yeah and also that deathbed regret thing.

The point is that being infected with the meme (previously dubbed “Affluenza”) of never having or being enough can make us miserable, so why DO we accept it as a part of life – like the common cold?  Especially since unlike the common cold, we can inoculate ourselves to the meme by mindfully choosing what success means to each of us.  Getting inoculated means that when we become the authors of our own ambition, if we come down with an occasional case of piggy-itis, we aren’t likely to suffer unduly or succumb to it.

So what do you think?  Do you feel the tug, get sucked-in from time-to-time, or still grapple with your personal definition of success?  Please offer your thoughts and take this 30 second poll to identify your “top-o-mind” idea of  success – if you answer “other” to the poll choices, a quick comment below will be illuminating and most appreciated.

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Entrepreneurship requires a passionate desire and work ethic to write your own ticket and/or to bring a product to market.

Regardless of how great your idea or passion, it’s vital to acknowledge that entrepreneurship is fundamentally about taking risk, so the first thing to assess is your risk tolerance.

According to the Small Business Administration’s 2009 Frequently Asked Questions, 7 out of 10 new small businesses (<500 employees) last at least 2 years but only about 1/2 of new businesses are still in business after 5 years.  The first question, then, is are you willing to wager your financial stability, security, and possibly your credit rating?

The statistics are only a reality check – don’t let them discourage you.  While risk tolerance is a big factor, having enough of a fire in your belly can go a long way toward minimizing the fear factor.  The Harvard Business Review offers a quick quiz to help you identify if you have the gut-level fit for taking the plunge.  To sum up the drive vs fear issue, my online colleague, GL Hoffman, said something that is very telling, “When people ask me whether they should become an entrepreneur, I tell them, if you have to ask, then I’m leaning toward answering, no.“ Case in point, during a succession planning meeting (when I was a Training Director in a fortune 500 pharmaceutical company) the HR Director asked me what I wanted to be doing 5 and 10 years in the future.  I quickly stated the 5 year plan but fell silent about the 10 year plan because it did not involve staying with the company.  I was already certain that I wanted my own training business.  And in 1997, as a single mother with no other form of support, I quit my job and started Emp-Higher Performance Development, Inc. Was I afraid?  A little, but I had a tremendous passion for the training business (and still do!) a great credit rating, clarity about my personal development needs, and a plan to boot-strap my business. Thirteen years later, I haven’t looked back or been sorry for even a moment.

Yes, there are a lot of other traits, competencies and skills that differentiate entrepreneurs who make it  from  those who don’t – a topic that merits its own post so I’ll detail those in part II.  Since I just mentioned GL Hoffman, it occurs to me that as a serial entrepreneur, a book that he recently published is an excellent and inexpensive reality check for those considering entrepreneurship or for entrepreneurs interested in increasing their probability for more success. The book, Start-up: 100 tips to get your business going is packed with tried and true success factors, is a quick read and handy reference. Most interesting to me was that despite our very different business models, his tips still rang true.  I found myself nodding and mumbling, “yep” during many of the passages – particularly tips 9, 12, 15, 16, 18, 38, 47, 48 and 50 – and that was only the first half of the book!  So, I recommended that you read it, ask yourself if you could see yourself actively doing the best practices that he suggests… and if not, why not?

What other questions or advice do you have about identifying who is cut out for the entrepreneurial life?

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A “Think Quick” challenge: Right this second, can you state your definition of success?

Most people think they know but few are able to define what success really means when applied to their own lives. And if YOU can’t define it, then WHO IS defining it for you?

If you can’t DEFINE success – how can you DESIGN success?

This quick clip (<2 minutes) of a TED talk by Alain DeBotton creates a great springboard to consider what YOUR idea of success is.

In view of DeBotton’s point about who creates our ideas of success, consider the Merriam Webster Dictionary’s definition:

1 -  obsolete: outcome, result
2  – degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence
3 -  one that succeeds

I was both surprised and saddened to see how the original, now obsolete definition  has evolved (or devolved) from generic goal achievement to encompass fortune and/or fame. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with fortune or fame. Like DeBotton, I’m very interested in success. What I’m proposing is that success as defined by worldly standards is often at the root of many a deathbed regret. We simply need to have clarity around what we truly value in order to define success in our own terms.

In his book, Is the American Dream Killing You? Paul Stiles eloquently captures this: “Success in America is neither moral or spiritual nor intellectual nor artistic these days, but financial. Unsure of what they stand for, people rely on money as the criterion for value…people deserve respect and admiration because they are rich. What used to be a medium of exchange has usurped the place of fundamental values…the cult of success has replaced a belief in principles.”

Many who have never questioned or defined success strive to “live the dream” only to awaken to the nightmare of a self-imposed prison consisting of a burn-out job to pay for a big mortgage, serious credit card debt and/or an empty family life. DeBotton talks about the “notion of work-life balance nonsense” – that we can’t have it all and I quite agree.  That’s exactly why clarity is vital to prevent burnout and/or rude wake-ups from what we thought was “our” dream.  He urges us to be the authors of our own ambition by probing to ensure that our ideas of success are truly our own.

Some folks want to simply hire a coach to tell them how to be successful but this work cannot be delegated. Trying to hire-out defining and designing your success is like asking a cleaning service to clear out your closet. Only YOU can… make the tough decisions, know your style, try things on to see what fits and let go of what you need to discard!

Have you defined success in your own terms? If so, please comment about:

• how your idea of success has changed
• who previously formed your ideas of success
• your commitment to defining and designing it for yourself.

Then answer the questions that follow to refine or define what success means to you.

Answering the questions isn’t easy but it’s pivotal to long-term happiness and the ability to live with purpose and on purpose. It requires that you stop putting one foot in front of the other  – that you take a step back to observe and reflect. This quote sums it up:

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life.

The problem is I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.   ~Mark Twain

So…let’s begin proving Mark Twain wrong. Start with a blank sheet of paper and use Webster’s definition #3,“one that succeeds”- begin to define:

What IS success in each of the main categories of life?

1. Family
2. Health
3. Finance
4. Job or Career
5. Personal: spiritual, friendships, hobbies
6. Community, etc.

- Where does the successful you prioritize your time?

- What are you known as, or for, in each category?

- How does the successful you look, walk, think, and talk like in each category?

- How can you integrate those to create some semblance of work-life balance? What do you need to let go?

IF you’re serious about doing the work, you’re on your way to becoming the architect of your job and life.  Start your list and keep it handy for further thought and reflection – maybe transfer it to an index card that you can easily post to consider throughout the day and weeks ahead.  Read part 2 to further explore the implications and definitions of success.

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I counted down the days in anticipation of my first appointment with the junior high school guidance counselor…only fourteen days before the secrets to achieving my goal of gaining admission to medical school would be revealed.

As outlet for my enthusiasm during what seemed like an eternity before meeting with “the wise one”,  I kept busy compiling a portfolio of clippings to demonstrate my credibility and abilities.

When the appointed day f-i-n-a-l-l-y came, I could barely breathe from excitement.  I counted the hours, waited in line and had barely planted myself in the seat before pronouncing that I really, truly wanted to be a doctor.  The counselor was silent and just cocked his head the way a dog might when confused or curious.  He leaned in and broke the pregnant pause with thunderous laughter.  Not the mocking laughter that might just  take the wind out of my sails – a laugh that created the sickening suffocation feeling that you may recall as a kid when you got the wind knocked out of you from rough-housing.

Despite reeling from shock and confusion, it only took moments before I begin peppering him with questions in hopes of understanding.  His reply then was, “Well, kiddo, pretty girls don’t need to work”… while he leaned in and literally patted me on the head!  Ignoring his crass compliment, I continued to press for an answer.  I talked about being an honor student, showed him my portfolio of A+ science essays and the bibliography of healthcare books that I had voraciously read as a hobby.  After this round of pestering and proof he said, “Well… if you HAVE to work, you might consider being a secretary or a nurse”.  He glanced at his watch -  I realized that I was running out of time and panicked.  That’s when I blurted out, “I just don’t understand why what’s between my legs counts more than what’s between my ears”!

The experience may help explain some fierce feminism on my part but to this day, I don’t know where the words came from or who was more shocked; I still marvel that at 13 (or any age) I uttered them;  I vividly recall that this was the first time my ears burned with indignation and embarrassment.  We both stared at the floor – he cleared his throat and rose to his feet.  There was a long and awkward silence as the “wise one” led the “wise mouth” to the door.

It took years before I realized that my counselor was more classist than sexist.  It never occurred to me that my parent’s divorce and my subsequent move to a public housing project was virtually a life sentence.  But I, like so many of us (especially children) had allowed his judgment to “program” my beliefs, self-esteem, goals, and limitations.

A burning desire to learn, stretch, and grow made me too restless to stay tuned to my counselor’s program.  I began to change the channel and eventually tuned in a “station in life” and a program that I owned.  Here, I could be the writer, producer, director, and lead actor in a program called, “Your Lot in Life”.  This melodrama and occasional sitcom is about an underprivileged kid who refused to park on her lot in life and instead, became a JobLife Architect determined to excavate, renovate, and build on her lot.  In fact, this slice of my life helped me begin to create the JobLife Architect philosophy.

We alone must define and design our own success

Or life may happen TO us

Instead of THROUGH us.

You cannot “choose” to change the channel until you identify the programming preventing you from building on “Your Lot In Life”.

What limiting ideas have you gotten from parents, teachers, friends, lovers, family?  They are often off-handed comments stated in frustration by those we trust when we are so young that we cannot filter or analyze their veracity -so, they become a part of our subconscious script.  They often sound like: “You can’t do anything right” – “You’re stupid or bad at math” – You’re lazy or You’ll never amount to anything”. They may be more innocent or far worse but that’s not as important as how we continue to allow the messages to auto-loop in our heads.  We become victims of the unwanted messages like the frequent commercials that we find irritating yet cannot help but recall – argh, like the 1-800- Empire carpets jingle just sprang to mind!  Only with maturity and experience can we examine and question them:  Is every one of the judgments and beliefs about you, your character, abilities or limitations based in fact or reality?  Which have a kernel of truth but became your reality program because they were repeated so much that you lived down to the expectation?  Which still haunt you as negative,  “I told you so” self-talk just waiting for you to trip up? 

Which of these negative beliefs…

• Are not true at all or any longer?
• Inhibit your self-confidence?
• Limit your hopes, dreams or goals?
• Have become a self-fulfilling prophecy?
• Drive you to gain promotions and titles or material success to prove them wrong?
• Need to be censored before they do harm (like an F-bomb or Janet’s wardrobe malfunction)? Do you have a delay mechanism like meditation to allow you to consider before acting on your thoughts?
• Should be edited or re-scripted?

Will you share examples of when you junked the program, wrote your own program, or when you took control of the remote and changed the channel?

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Think back over your lifetime of friendships, romantic relationships, and jobs.

If you list deal makers that created or sustained them and the deal breakers that eroded or destroyed them, you may be very surprised by the trends that emerge.  Those trends will identify what you really value.

I’m not speaking of  what your ideals or beliefs tell you that you should value but what you uniquely value – what best suits YOU and keeps you in the game (job or relationship) over the long haul. 

When you clarify what you value (read “need”) you learn the strategy to play your cards right.  You can live with purpose and on purpose because you know what sparks the fire in your belly, gives you the mojo that makes you eager to come home each night, get up in the morning, and sing in the shower…okay, nix the shower bit because sometimes you just need to belt one out for no good reason! 

But seriously, this simple exercise can be wildly eye-opening and only takes a minute to set up.  So ‘cmon, print the PDF or grab a blank sheet of paper to get started identifying your values.

 1. Print this Values Exercise page or create your own sheet in the same format.

2. Decide whether to focus on Job or Relationship or both.

3. GOAL: Identify trends in your deal makers and breakers.  Consider every meaningful relationship or job that you walked (or ran) away from. Deal Makers: What drew you and kept you (perhaps too long) and Deal Breakers what ultimately broke the bond or caused you to end it? 

Trending Tip: List adjectives  in each column, e.g. opportunity, material things, safety, belonging, nuturing/love, personal growth or self-actualization, etc.  You don’t need to use the example words per se, just try to use similar words (where relevant) to faciliate ease of trending.  A bit like sorting and organizing the cards in your hand by color and suit, e.g. red, black, hearts, diamonds, spades, and clubs so that you know what you’re holding and how to play them.

If you’re doing the exercise now, take 10 – 15 minutes for reflection and if later, just create the page and put it in a prominent place for reference.  Reflect upon the hand that you’ve been dealt and which cards you have thrown into the discard pile over the years. What you trend may be as rewarding as it is shocking – I experienced a relationship values breakthrough that changed my life.

When you have clarity around your deal makers and  breakers it’s easier to find work that feels more like play and  relationships that don’t feel like work.  

This simple but powerful exercise can help you to play your cards right.   I cannot encourage it enough so I’ll tell you what… create your lists and if you show me yours ( just comment about your experience) I’ll show you mine!

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Human beings are hard-wired for social acceptance and are motivated to do whatever is necessary to fit-in or be liked. The question is…at what cost?

Consider the impact on history made by those who have dared to be different; from Joan of Arc to Elvis Presley.  Albert Einstein was initially seen as a failure and out right weirdo long before his ideas were ultimately deemed genius.  He dealt with the rejection by saying,  “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

I’m not suggesting that we ignore convention; we need some level of conformity for order.  Being true to oneself isn’t exactly radical but as Einstein’s quote demonstrates, a certain level of audacity is in order.  An audacious confidence and bravery is vital to balance our hard-wired fear of rejection.

The bravery that I’m speaking about was summed up beautifully in a comment to part 1 of this series. Karen Swim said, ” doing me scared is better than not doing me at all”.  So many of you commented with encouragement, honesty and refreshing revelations – thank you!  Some of you have arrived, some of you are just embarking on this journey and I’m not at audacious yet.  So when the trepidation comes to call, I have to affirm my resolve to be completely myself if I hope to fully realize myself.  I’ve also become keenly aware that audacious transparency is necessary if I hope to find my “right people”.  By “right people” I’m referring to the people that I am best suited to serve or those who bring joy and knowledge to counter-balance the stresses arising from inevitable mean-spirited or small-minded encounters.  That’s what defining “right people” means to me – the real beauty is that it’s personal and unique to each of us.

We can spend our whole lives trying to find a few that we consider our “right people” but when we are authentic and transparent, they find us -  and we soon find that we are surrounded just the right elements for our growth.

Audacious authenticity isn’t reserved for those with the power to revolutionize the planet – it can revolutionize each of us.  What do we miss when people live and die without the freedom to bloom, to bring forth their unique essence?  In Science, Religion, World Culture, Sociology, Education, Music, Media, and more, the very soul of innovation and our evolution was made manifest by those considered anything but normal.   These brave souls who “marched to the beat of a different drum”, were able to be true to themselves, actualize their true potential, and in the making, make us all better for it!

How does “fitting-in” impact your peace of mind or quality of life?

What would it feel like to be truly comfortable (authentic/transparent) in your own skin?

What would working with your “right people” look and feel like?

What might you be able to achieve if fitting-in was eliminated from the equation?

Read part 2 of this series.

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Freud dismissed the very idea of “normality” as “an ideal fiction” – and of course it is!

When we consider the vast diversity of human beings,  we see a kaleidoscope of complexity rather than conformity from the time of birth.  Ask parents of more than two children how different each was and you will most often hear that they arrived with differing temperaments, personalities, tastes and talents.

Normal is predicated by our environment:  families,  schools,  social and spiritual, each creates overt and subvert pressure to conform. The published and unwritten rules are reinforced with the selection of those who are popular from those who generate gossip or are ostracized.  Even children who don’t fit in the family norm are dubbed the “black sheep”.  A recent example of not fitting “the norm” came from a former employee who called me requesting a reference.  She said that after a year in a new job, she was not a good fit in a corporate culture that was suffocating her so she was actively interviewing for a new job. Our conversation reminded me of a time (1990) when as the only female corporate sales director,  I wore short hair, boxy suits, and put on a no-nonsense facade in order to be taken seriously – I was convincing, but I couldn’t maintain it;  it withered my soul.  So I started to ask myself these questions:

• How important is it for me to to fit in?  To myself, my family, my job, my community?
• What aspects of my true self do I need to suppress or hide in order to fit in?
• To what degree can I really be myself at work, with friends, or even at home?
• Do I sometimes feel like an imposter or actor?
• Am I  exhausted at day’s end from “acting” my role or wearing my “game-face” all day?
• Am I affected by the need to “stuff” a part of who I am for such a big part of my day and life?
• Do I value social approval over self-actualization?
• Do I prevent others from knowing me and benefiting from all that I have to offer?
• If I don’t allow others to really see me, how will I ever find my “right people” – those that get me?

I was so grateful for the many comments to this week’s launch post on this topic.  In the comments to part 1 of the series, John Reddish provided an excellent frame of reference for why many of us are grappling with authenticity and transparency and struck a chord: “The fact is that more and more, we realize that the old model, requiring self-containment and following traditional paths, just doesn’t work. Blame Joseph Campbell, blame a permissive society, blame the “me” generation, blame the New Age, but more and more of us are seeking to “follow our bliss” and because the old model isn’t working, more and more traditionalists are paying attention, even making allowances.

Over the years, I’ve become less willing to sublimate the silly and spiritual aspects of my true Self and to trust that others will still be able to see my polished professional facets, too.  How about you?

Join in the discussion with a comment or read on to part 3.

Have you ever found yourself miscast in a job, relationship, or culture?

Have you ever made job or life changes by asking some of the above questions to yourself?

Are you becoming (or have you become) more daring or vulnerable about sharing your authentic self?

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Truth be told, I have never found a comfortable fit in any one peer group.

I first noticed it in high school – a time when we need to “belong” to a group or clique but the problem was that as a high honor, Jesus-loving, pot-smoking (hey it was the 70’s),  student council do-gooder and cheerleader, I didn’t fit-in with the brainiacs, the stoners, the Jesus freaks, the joiners, or the jocks.  Even though I related to an aspect of each group, there were other aspects of the groups that didn’t fit me and many of my own aspects that didn’t fit them.  Grappling with the teen angst, I remembered wondering why I couldn’t just be “normal”  and subscribe to one of those groups.

While journaling about my conundrum one evening, I dragged out the dictionary and looked up the definition of normal.  I was surprised that the terms (not deviating, conforming, standard, regular) used to describe what I thought I desperately wanted to be, were what I simply couldn’t aspire to being.   Then I realized that the desire to be “normal” must be an oxymoron for a lot of other people, too.  The problem with “being normal” is that many of us don’t want to be just  “average” but we don’t want to be seen as a “weirdo” either – we want acceptance, we want to fit-in but we also need to be allowed to be ourselves.  I’ve pondered the topic ever since the teen journaling years so this post is likely to be a series on the topic because while I thought I had found a comfortable place, the use of social media has forced the issue anew.   So here I am grappling with finding the right balance of fitting-in vs. daring to show my authentic and transparent self with the similar angst about the risks of ridicule and rejection.  My first paragraph was a huge leap  so if you’re reading this, I took a deep breath and hit the publish button.  If you can relate, please join me in exploring what normal, fitting-in, authentic and transparent mean to you.

Join in the discussion with a comment or read on to part 2.

What does the right mix look like?

What are the risks?

How much of ourselves  should be revealed in order to be to be transparent and authentic?

How much is too much?

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When people would complain I would give them an ear, and when the complaints morphed into a bitch-fest, the younger me might even happily join them.  But as soon as the rants turned to gossip, I would disappear.  I don’t think that anyone really knew how I felt about it;  I guess my approach was a bit like the military’s don’t ask/don’t tell policy.  I was blissfully happy not to know about the swirling dirt but I also realized that not being “clued-in” could potentially put me at a political disadvantage.  I decided that I would have to live with the handicap.

The first Christmas after my divorce in 1994, my friend and admin at the time came over to help me put up my tree.  The work was pretty tiring but we kibbitzed about a little of everything, laughed, and drank wine the whole time.  It was well after midnight when exhaustion and a snoot full of wine got her to gossiping.  I was able to change the subject several times but she would return to the next bit of scoop.  On a whim, it occurred to me that if I couldn’t escape the gossip, I should ask what people are saying about me.  To my astonishment, she lit up and said, “Ohhh…yeah, there’s one about you, and it’s a doozie”.  She went on to chuckle and tell me that anyone who knew me would find it absurdly funny or  set the record straight or both, as she did.

Whether you chose to engage in the water cooler gossip or disengage from it,  you cannot avoid making the rap sheet – it’s where your reputation is formed.  Sure, it’s helpful to have friends that will take your back if you are ever a gossip victim.  The more  serious consideration is, “it’s hard to play in the dirt without getting dirty” – and we rarely know who our friends are when careers or promotions are at stake.  If we stay and play in the swirling dirt, we need to be prepared for the water cooler rap to become a messy mud bath.

• Do you stay for the juicy gossip and if so, are you able to resist the pressure to comment or contribute?

• How often does criticism of management get back to them, including who said it?

• Have you ever had something that you said to “trusted” colleagues come back to bite you?

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JobLife Architects want to know… can job achievement and life happiness co-exist a well-adjusted and fulfilled person?

A 72 year-old study provides us with a glimpse into some of the answers.  Harvard researchers began following 268 (male sophomores including John F. Kennedy and Ben Bradlee) who entered Harvard in the late 1930s.  These were men that already “had it made” by most societal standards.  But the study’s goal was not to see how the well-adjusted, affluent and educated would fare, but rather, to see how their lives would play out and what factors really impacted happiness or success over time.  The study was followed these men for 72 years, allowing data to be gathered as the study participants went through life stages beginning with their sophomore year of college and (including for some: war, careers, marriages and divorces, parenthood and grandparenthood, and now for those still alive, old age)  up to death. Here, for the first time, we can learn from one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history, The Grant Study delves deeply into what really matters at the end of each day and at the end of our lives.

David Brooks writes of the study in his Opinion article “They Had It Made” published in “The New York Times” and summarizes:  ” A third of the men would suffer at least one bout of mental illness. Alcoholism would be a running plague. The most mundane personalities often produced the most solid success. One man couldn’t admit to himself that he was gay until he was in his late 70s.   Author Joshua Wolf Shenk was permitted access to the study archives – his findings and thoughts are published in “The Atlantic” in an essay, “What Makes Us Happy?”

The articles beg the questions that only we can answer for ourselves:

At the end of our days and lives we will only have deathbed regrets if we discover that we spent our lives living someone else’s idea of success.

What does success mean to you?

• Is success more about material goods, achievement, happiness or some mix thereof?

What is the cost of living a life unexamined?

• How might taking the time for reflection and self-awareness have benefited the Grant Study participants who seemingly had it all?
  

See “Who is Defining Your Success” Part I to begin to define your own ideas of success.

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