I don’t have time for rest! My schedule is too full. I’m too stressed out. I will fall too far behind if I take a break.

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Rest is essential for our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It’s so important that God gave us an example of rest in the creation story at the beginning of the Bible. Yet, it’s so easy to let this basic human need fall by the wayside when life gets busy.

We’ve been wanting to touch on the topic of rest for a while, and we can’t think of a more fitting pair of guests for this conversation than our good friends, Scott and Myndee Anderson. Scott’s father, James, was the author of a book called For God’s Sake, Rest!, and growing up, Scott’s household tried to prioritize those very concepts his father wrote about.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why we find it difficult to rest
• The #1 sign that you are actually experiencing rest
• Scott and Myndee’s reflections on visiting Uganda with us
• And more!

We are delighted to have such dear friends on the show to talk about such an important topic!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
• Scott & Myndee in Uganda
• To Uganda with Love with Pastor Zachariah | Episode 135
• [BOOK] For God’s Sake, Rest!
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Rest is more than sitting still. Rest is found when we take intentional time for self-reflection. This introspection not only helps us discover unknown areas of sin within us, but it also helps us release control to our Heavenly Father. In this conversation, Scott mentioned a practice of writing down all your worries or current life obligations. When you look at this list, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to affect the outcome. If the answer is no, those are the things we should release to God. Why not take some time this week to make your own list? You may be surprised how this simple practice can quiet your mind.

2) Practice pausing with gratitude. Creating a ritual of rest doesn’t have to be some long, drawn-out event. Start small by noticing what you are thankful for as it happens. This could be by physically writing it down or by offering up small prayers. The prayer may be something as simple and straightforward as “Thank you, God, for that beautiful flower.” When we practice gratitude, it tells our minds what to take notice of and who created it.

3) Real rest requires releasing your cares to God. In today’s go-go-go culture, it can seem like there is no end to what we have to worry about: the to-do list, the future, our schedule for the day, the economy, our children, finances, and more! While you may have attempted to create a habit of rest in the past, you will know when you are truly practicing rest when you finally feel the weight of all the worry you’ve been carrying lifted off your shoulders.

About Scott and Myndee:

Scott and Myndee Anderson have three children and split their time between Minnesota and Florida. Scott’s father, James, was the author of For God’s Sake, Rest! Scott grew up in a household that tried to prioritize the concepts his father wrote about. Scott serves as a volunteer Board Chair for the Anderson Center, which provides management and leadership development services to facilitate economic progress in Greater Minnesota. He is also the Executive Vice President and CAO at Anderson Trucking Service.

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Things like the date he asked for a divorce and left our home or the hotel he would frequent during the affair would bring up all kinds of negative emotions for me. Yet, as we did the healing work around these triggers, do you know what we learned?

Everything that threatens to be a trigger can be reclaimed and reframed in a more positive light. 

Mark: We worked with a couple recently on this very principle in our coaching and were reminded of how many people still feel the lingering effects of broken trust. Healing is a long process, and there are bound to be moments along the way when one or both spouses is hurt by a memory of the betrayal. We can’t stop this. However, what we can do is choose to reframe triggers from a negative to a positive. This process is not always easy, but it is so worth it if both partners are committed.

Jill: That’s right! That’s why, in order to help other couples who may be experiencing and struggling with triggers, we are sharing our tips for how to reframe and reclaim them.

Identifying Triggers

Mark: A trigger could be any number of things, from a location to a date to a behavior. There are no limits, because each couple and their experience is unique. For a spouse whose betrayal involved financial mismanagement, a trigger for their partner might be finding a large amount of cash in their wallet. If cash was previously used to avoid leaving a digital record of spending, discovering it can quickly bring up feelings of fear, suspicion, or uncertainty. This can be true even if the spouses have been putting in consistent work to rebuild trust over time.

Jill: In our story, many of my triggers were tied to places associated with the affair. Some were local locations connected to what had happened, and I would feel on edge whenever I or we drove near them.

Another location that threatened to become a trigger was the city where the affair partner lived. Coincidentally, it was also the city where our extended family lived, which meant we occasionally needed to travel there to visit them. Sometimes Mark needed to travel there alone to help his mother. At first, that felt daunting, because the city had become linked to the betrayal in my mind. However, thanks to the intentional steps Mark took to rebuild trust like taking a friend with him on those trips early in the rebuilding trust journey, those trips did not become the source of ongoing fear they could have been. We’ll share more about that later.

Dates were also a big thing for me. The first year the date Mark walked away from our marriage (February 4th) showed up on the calendar, I experienced a sense of dread, as all the emotions I felt when he left came bubbling back to the surface. It’s almost like my body remembered it before my mind remembered it!

Mark: Once we identified these areas of frustration, fear, or apprehension, we were able to move on to reclaiming and reframing them from a negative to a positive. If you are reading this and you have not yet begun the healing process from broken trust, then we highly recommend starting with our roadmap. Reframing your triggers should come after trust has already begun to be rebuilt.

READ: A 4-Step Roadmap for Healing from Infidelity and Broken Trust

Reclaiming and Reframing

Jill: While it may not feel like it right away, we have the power to change how we interpret our triggers. We can choose whether we are going to view them through the lens of our hurt or through the lens of our healing. Our hurt reminds us of the pain of the past and causes us to relive that experience each time we are triggered. However, our healing reminds us that this is just one part of our story. We have the ability to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and direct how they’re going to impact us moving forward.

Mark: One of the first things we did in our healing process was intentionally reframe the date I had walked away from Jill. Reframing a trigger isn’t about asking your spouse to forget what happened or erase the painful emotions associated with it. Instead, the goal is to introduce new, positive associations alongside the old ones.

With that in mind, when February 4th rolled around on the following year, we planned a weekend getaway at a cabin. Rather than spending the day dreading what it represented, we chose to create a new memory together.

Today, the Feb 4 memory reminds us of that weekend away—the conversations we shared, the connection we rebuilt, and the healing that was already underway.

Jill: You can do something similar in your own marriage! Consider all the ways you might reclaim the triggers that you experience. If it’s a song, consider reclaiming it by taking dance lessons with your spouse so you can bust a move together every time it comes up. If your trigger is a location, how might you create new, positive memories there? And if it’s a particular time of year or specific date, plan a date or a getaway during that time that you will look back on fondly. You might consider making it an annual activity that you can look forward to year after year.

Mark: We’ve worked with many couples in our coaching and intensives on overcoming the triggers in their relationship. For some, a room in their home was a trigger that brought up memories of the betrayal. Reclaiming that trigger looked like giving the room a makeover, repainting it, and giving it a new purpose.

A Word to the One Who Broke Trust

Mark: I want to take a moment to give some advice to the one who did the betraying in the relationship. While reframing triggers related to the broken trust might not be as important for you as it is for your spouse, it’s crucial that you show up and commit fully to this process. 

Be sure to acknowledge the pain and trauma your actions caused. Whenever possible, take the lead in rebuilding trust. Ask your partner if they are ready or willing to take some steps to reclaim a certain trigger. It may be that they need more time before they are ready to take that step; if that’s the case, communicate your understanding, offer reassurance, and take that next step with them when they are ready.

As Jill and I reclaimed triggers, it was important that I held myself accountable and offered up information she needed to feel safe. This is not about being monitored. It’s about choosing to be transparent, forthcoming, and patient as you rebuild trust one honest conversation at a time. Here’s a practical example:

Because my affair partner lived in the same town as my extended family, when Jill and I were rebuilding trust, I knew I needed to take the lead in pushing accountability when it came to visiting my family. I decided to take the extra step of having a friend travel with me whenever I visited my mom and Jill wasn’t able to go with me. This protected my marriage by removing any concerns about what I was doing while I was there. For Jill, this city, and my trips there to see family, could have become a trigger for anxiety and worry. But by taking the lead and pushing accountability, I helped reframe this location in her mind from a potential trigger to a clear sign of my commitment.

Jill: I know it can be daunting to face your triggers, let alone reframe them. However, we have seen the power that reclaiming and reframing can have for a healing relationship. There is not one couple whom we have counseled that would say it wasn’t worth the work! 

Mark: We want to offer one more resource as you and your spouse walk through reframing triggers, and that is our 2.0 Marriage Intensive weekend. We understand how lonely and hopeless it can feel when your marriage is hurting, and we do these intensives because we love coming alongside couples so they don’t struggle alone. 

Our intensive could be for you if…

• You’re in crisis after infidelity or betrayed trust has been discovered.
• Your marriage is not in crisis, but you feel like something is missing. You want to make your relationship better, but you don’t know how.
• You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, gone to counseling, and still the same issues keep coming up to cause trouble in your relationship.
• The kids have grown up and left home, and you suddenly find yourself looking at each other asking, “Who are you?”
• Years of struggle have worn you down. You’re resigned that nothing can ever be different.

Jill: If you’re ready to grow, take the chance to get a year’s worth of counseling sessions in one transforming weekend—with follow-up care as well. 

Mark: Our pledge to you is that you’ll return home with a renewed sense of understanding and commitment in your marriage, along with practical tools and strategies that will guide you through a lifetime of marital connection.

LEARN MORE OR BOOK YOUR MARRIAGE INTENSIVE WEEKEND HERE.

Are you feeling worn out from doing all the heavy lifting in your marriage? You are the only spouse who is putting in the effort to listen to podcasts, read the books, and initiate thoughtful conversations—or at least it feels that way.

Resentment is slowly starting to build as you think to yourself over and over, “Why am I the only one doing the work to improve our marriage?”

The topic for this conversation was inspired by a listener-submitted question that asks:

“Is the woman in the marriage the one who does most of the heavy lifting to promote emotional growth?”

This is such an important question, and in this episode, we’re here to answer it. Listen in to hear our thoughts, as well as some tips to help you not only encourage growth in your spouse, but to shift your perspective on the effort they are already putting in.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How your attachment style affects the way you pursue depth in a relationship
• How you can invite connection in your marriage
• How to know when you are being called to accept your partner where they are
• And more!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
• Tackling Selfishness | Episode 298
• [BOOK] No More Perfect Marriages
• BONUS: Why Marriage Should Be 70/30, Not 50/50
• FREE Attachment Quiz
• Understanding Attachment Course
• Wait Is Not Wasted Course
• Wait Is Not Wasted FREE Webinar
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

Our Key Takeaways:

1) The anxiously attached partner is typically the one motivated to do more work. To answer the listener’s question: No, it isn’t always women who are doing the majority of the work to grow the relationship. We’ve found that people who have an anxious attachment style, regardless of their gender, have a tendency to never feel satisfied with things as they are. While this may make it look like they are the ones working on the relationship, there’s also a downside to this mindset. As soon as their current desire for connection and growth is met, their insecurity bubbles up again, and the goalpost gets pushed further away.

2) Invite rather than accuse. Have you ever heard the saying that you’ll catch more flies with honey? It’s the same concept here. If we only communicate to our spouse all they aren’t doing, then there is very little incentive to change. Try this approach instead: replace “you never…” with “would you join me…” This might also look like a brainstorming session on activities you both would like to do together to increase your connection. We love taking 5 minutes at the end of a meal to chitchat before moving on with our evening!

3) Acceptance is needed where you are most frustrated. The act of releasing our spouse from our unrealistic expectations and instead meeting them where they are is so crucial. It’s important to stop measuring what is missing and instead see what your spouse actually brings to the relationship. If there is a particular area in your relationship where you are constantly frustrated with your spouse, that’s a sure-fire sign that you need to reach for the God tool of acceptance. Take some time to identify the positive things about who your spouse is and what they bring into this relationship.

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Real connection happens when you master the personal, powerful way your partner uniquely receives love. That’s when love moves from routine to remarkable.

If you are one of the 20 million readers of Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages®, you already know that love isn’t one-size-fits-all. This framework provides us with a great place to start, but many couples have found there’s still more to learn about how to fill up each other’s love tank.

Our guests for this episode are experts on this topic who have teamed up with Dr. Chapman to bring us the long-awaited sequel to his renowned original guide. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are psychologists, speakers, and #1 New York Times best-selling authors of numerous books, including Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. This married couple not only share the same name, but also a passion for helping others build healthy relationships.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How to go beyond your spouse’s Love Language™
• A rundown of the dialects your partner may be “speaking”
• The one question that will transform your relationship
• And more!

For Mark and I, understanding our Love Languages™ has been instrumental in transforming how we express our love for one another. We hope this conversation is a helpful resource as you seek to understand and connect with your spouse on a deeper level!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
• [BOOK] Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before — and After — You Marry
• [BOOK] The Love Language™ That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It
• Love Languages Free Assessment
• Love Languages Premium Assessment
• Les and Leslie’s FREE gift to you
• Connect with Les and Leslie on their website, Facebook, or Instagram
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Start by fostering curiosity about how your spouse receives love. Real connection is created when we are expressing love to our spouse in the way they prefer to receive it. Each Love Language™ has dialects, which are personal and powerful ways love is uniquely expressed and received. When we don’t seek to understand what makes our spouse tick, even the right language can fall flat. Get curious this week by learning about the Love Language™ your spouse appreciates most, or consider taking one of the Love Language™ assessments together.

2) Regularly ask, “How full is your love tank?” This question can transform your connection and relationship. When you understand your spouse’s Love Language™ and dialect, you can ask them this question periodically, consider their answer, and then respond with simple actions that you know will affirm the love you have for them. It’s often not about grand gestures, but instead those small things throughout your daily interactions that help fill up your spouse’s love tank.

3) It’s about practicing love, not perfecting it. We can often feel a pressure to love our spouse perfectly, and when we don’t, we may end up beating ourselves up or feeling like a total failure. The reality is that no one can love another person perfectly. The 5 Love Languages™ and their dialects are a helpful tool to practice loving our spouse (and expressing that love) more fully—knowing that this is a lifelong journey that will be full of making mistakes, learning, and growing.

About Les and Leslie:

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are psychologists, speakers, and #1 New York Times best-selling authors of numerous books, including Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. They not only share the same name, but also a passion for helping others build healthy relationships. Leslie specializes in marriage and family therapy, and Les is a clinical psychologist. They’ve been featured on Oprah, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and a variety of other media outlets.

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But I’ve been gardening long enough to know that so much growth is happening below the surface before it ever becomes visible to my eye.

Bulbs buried deep in the dirt are storing nutrients. Roots are strengthening underground. Tiny green shoots slowly emerge when the conditions are right. On the surface, it may seem like nothing is changing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

This idea of slow, unseen progress shows up in many different parts of life: in personal growth, physical fitness, home improvement, and of course, in marriage. In all of these areas, we may wish for instant results, but the truth is, growth takes time. Progress happens through small, consistent efforts.

This is so important to remember, especially if you’re working on growing your marriage. After all, when you’re going through a period of internal growth, you can feel it—but when your spouse is growing, it’s not always something that can be seen from the outside.

That’s why I want to share a few practical thoughts about how we can remain patient and hopeful while our spouse is growing beneath the surface:

Accepting Where Your Spouse is Now

In our marriage coaching, one principle Mark and I teach is the God Tool of Acceptance. We guide couples in how to cultivate what we call an abundance mindset, as opposed to a scarcity mindset. 

Abundance sees small steps of progress and celebrates them. Scarcity focuses on what is missing. Abundance accepts the reality of who our spouse is. Scarcity views our spouse through the unrealistic expectations of who we wish they would be. 

When I see a tiny green shoot unfurling in my garden, I don’t criticize it for not being a full-grown flower. I celebrate the new growth that is happening! 

That’s how it can work in marriage, too. 

Unrealistic expectations make it easy to overlook the small but meaningful progress your spouse is making. It’s just like if you were looking down at a patch of soil from above and getting frustrated that you couldn’t see any signs of growth. 

But when you adjust your expectations to meet your spouse where they are, things level out. You’re more likely to notice and appreciate their efforts—bringing encouragement to them, and greater contentment to you. Think of this like looking at a terrarium from the side. All of a sudden, with your new perspective, you can see that little buds were sprouting under the surface all along.

Are you truly accepting your spouse for who they are right now, or is your heart harboring unmet expectations that are leading to resentment? Make the intentional choice today to relinquish control—to accept your spouse without trying to change, alter, or correct them. 

This turns your perspective to one of appreciation instead of discontent. It’s a game-changer!

READ MORE: Why Choosing Acceptance Over Expectations Opens the Door to Growth

How to Nurture Your Spouse’s Growth

If a gardener becomes impatient and stops watering seeds because they haven’t bloomed yet, the garden will never flourish. The flowers will die, and the gardener will end up feeling even more disappointed. It’s a lose-lose situation. 

In the same way, relationships still need intentional care during seasons when progress feels slow. One of the biggest mistakes we can make in marriage is withholding care and connection because we feel frustrated that growth is taking too long.

You may not be able to control your spouse’s choices, growth, or timeline. But you can control how you show up in the relationship.

So, ask yourself this important question:

Am I helping create an environment for growth? 

When you’re in a season of waiting, you can still “fertilize” your spouse, yourself, and the relationship as a whole.

You can nurture your spouse by voicing kind words of acceptance. By remaining encouraging as they try, fail, and try again. Most importantly, you can nurture them by praying for them.

READ MORE: Being an Intentional Wife: The Power of Praying for Your Husband

You can nurture yourself by pursuing personal goals that you’ve been putting to the side. By investing in your mental and physical wellness. By spending time with friends and family that make you feel fulfilled.

You can nurture your relationship by investing in quality time together, speaking your spouse’s love language, and making the marriage a safe and secure space where both spouses can show up honestly and authentically as themselves.

When we practice patience with our spouse and intentionally choose to focus on the small signs of progress, our relationship takes on an environment of encouragement, support and affirmation. This makes our spouse feel safe, and safety is the fertilizer for growth. 

Just imagine a child trying to do something scary for the first time—like riding a bike. If that child is yelled at, berated, and shamed, their fear will only grow, making it even harder to learn this new skill. But if the child is made to feel safe, and assured that they can go at their own pace, it’s only a matter of time before they are off on their own, exploring the whole neighborhood with the training wheels long gone.

Appreciating Different Seasons

Have you ever felt the warm sun of a summer’s day and thought to yourself, 

“Man, I wish it could just be like this all the time!”

I’m sure we’ve all had a thought like this at some time or another. I certainly have moments when I wish my beautiful flowers could remain in full bloom all year round. 

But if that were the case, I would miss the joy that comes from tending to my garden.

It wouldn’t feel nearly as fulfilling to look out the window and see those blooms without knowing that my hard work and patience helped them grow. And it wouldn’t feel as meaningful to gift a bouquet to a friend and know they can see the time, dedication, and love poured into it.

We may wish it could be “summer” all the time in our marriage or in our spouse’s personal growth—that everything would feel easy, smooth, and free from sacrifice or effort. But that’s not reality.

There will be seasons when you have to put in the work, both individually and as a couple.

And in many ways, that’s the beauty of marriage, isn’t it?

As a gardener, I’ve had to learn over the years that every season has its purpose. If you can offer your spouse love and encouragement during the “winters” of their life—and they can offer the same grace to you—you’ll be cultivating fertile ground for a marriage that continues to flourish for years to come.

I know not everyone reading this will be a gardener like I am. But I am willing to bet we ALL have areas in our lives where we get discouraged and feel like nothing is happening. So let me say this to you (and myself!): Hang in there, and keep doing the work. Your efforts matter, even when they feel small. Don’t give up! 

And if you are reading this with a weary heart from a marriage that feels dormant like my winter flowerbed, consider if our 2.0 Marriage Intensive weekend could be a good fit for you! 

We understand how lonely and hopeless it can feel when your marriage is hurting, and we do these intensives because we love coming alongside couples so they don’t struggle alone. 

Our intensive could be for you if…

• You’re in crisis after infidelity or betrayed trust has been discovered.
• Your marriage is not in crisis, but you feel like something is missing. You want to make your relationship better, but you don’t know how.
• You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, gone to counseling, and still the same issues keep coming up to cause trouble in your relationship.
• The kids have grown up and left home and you suddenly find yourself looking at each other asking “who are you?”
• Years of struggle have worn you down. You’re resigned that nothing can ever be different.

2026 started off strong with our weekends filling up quickly, so we know the remaining 20 spots will fill up fast. If you’re ready to grow, take the chance to get a year’s worth of counseling sessions in one transforming weekend—with follow-up care as well. 

Do the work of tending your relationship now so that, like my summer garden, there can be a season of flourishing beauty in your marriage.

Have you ever noticed a tendency in yourself to put your own wants before the needs of others?

If we’re honest, that’s not an easy thing to admit. Most people don’t naturally think of themselves as selfish. And yet, when we slow down and truly examine our hearts, selfishness is something we all wrestle with at times.

Recently, Mark has felt God directing his attention to this area in his own life. What we’ve discovered is that selfishness can be sneaky—which makes it difficult to identify. It can show up as that desire to stay on the couch rather than fold the load of laundry sitting in the dryer. It could look like neglecting to show up at a friend’s party because you didn’t feel like going, even though you know it would mean a lot to them.

Selfishness takes many forms, but no matter how it shows up, it affects the state of our hearts in a very real way. That’s why we wanted to take some time to talk about how addressing selfishness is having an impact in our life, as well as offer some tips that everyone can use to tackle selfishness.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How avoiding sacrifice can cause us to miss blessings
• Four steps to address selfishness
• How self-care is different from selfishness
• And more!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
• Marriage Through the Ups and Downs of Life with Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman | Episode 295
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

Our Key Takeaways:

1) Deep down, we know when we are being selfish. Selfishness and self-care can tend to look similar from the outside. However, where selfishness says, “I don’t want to,” self-care says, “I can’t keep pouring out from an empty tank.” The difference is our heart’s attitude behind our response. So while others may not be able to tell if our response is coming from a place of self-care or selfishness, we know the root of our actions.

2) Selfishness can prevent us from accessing unknown blessings. Selfishness only sees how something benefits us on the surface. If we allow our selfishness to rule over every decision, then we will miss out on the not-so-obvious benefits of selfless action! In this conversation, Mark shared how his selfishness made him want to avoid babysitting our grandchildren. But because he sacrificed his time and energy to do so, he now has a bond with our grandson that he wouldn’t have had otherwise. Consider what blessings your own selfishness may be causing you to miss out on.

3) Overcoming selfishness starts with awareness and ends with action. It can be hard to recognize our patterns of selfishness. However, when we examine our lives, decisions, and attitudes, it should become clear where we tend to struggle with selfishness. Once we have done that, our response should end by taking action in the opposite direction from selfishness. Where we would have previously said no to anything that inconvenienced us, we should start saying yes and acting from a place of sacrificial love.

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What emotions are clogging your heart? Is it worry? Panic? Regret? Guilt? Anger? Is there deep pain you don’t talk about because it’s buried under bitterness, worthlessness, or loneliness? Do you long for relief?

All of these feelings can keep us “stuck” for far too long. It’s time to unburden your heart and clear out the emotional baggage that has been hindering you from fully living free in Christ. My friend, Laurie Davies, knows what it’s like to feel trapped by the emotions that can build up in our hearts.

Laurie is a writer, speaker, and lay counselor who helps women deal with their “emotional accumulation.” She is the author of the new book, Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck, in which she offers practical help for decluttering our souls of unprocessed feelings.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Signs you might be an emotional hoarder
• Practical steps to address your heart
• How to recalibrate our thoughts
• And more!

Addressing our built-up emotions is hard work, but it’s so worth it when we’re able to heal wounds and experience wholeness.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
• [BOOK] Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck
• Connect with Laurie on her website or Instagram
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Emotional hoarding can be intentional or unintentional. Sometimes, we might not realize we are stashing away our feelings. Other times, we may be holding on to certain feelings willingly. Whatever the case may be, it takes intentional work to eliminate the built-up clutter of hoarded emotions in our hearts. Intentionally hoarding emotions may look like holding grudges and hiding away grief. The emotional hoarding we are unaware of occurs when we fail to make space to work through smaller feelings.

2) Moving from hoarding to handling emotions practically looks like letting God’s Word convict us. One of the practical first steps Laurie gave in our conversation was to take time to uncover our feelings and regularly allow Scripture to convict us of those unhealthy emotions. If you can’t name the last time God’s Word caused you to rethink your feelings and reactions, it’s time to do some heart work.

3) There is no shame in having emotional baggage. Every single person on this planet has their emotional “stuff.” It can come from our childhood experiences, relationships, or just the challenging parts of life. It’s when we avoid unpacking our baggage that it can begin to pile up and overtake every aspect of our lives. Laurie’s book is a great resource to begin to process the feelings that have gone unresolved in your life.

About Laurie:

Laurie Davies is a writer, speaker, and lay counselor who helps women deal with their “emotional accumulation.” She is a member of the Proverbs 31 writing team and has been featured in Guideposts books and magazines. Laurie lives in the Phoenix, AZ area with her husband of 30 years. She likes to drink hot coffee, even on a 115-degree day, and has two schnockerpoo pups.

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Many couples believe in the power of prayer, but they struggle to practice it consistently—us included! In fact, 95% of Christian couples do not pray together.

There are times when we struggle to make prayer a priority like it needs to be. Whether it’s because of busy schedules, not knowing how to begin, or feeling uncomfortable praying with another person, there are so many factors that can keep husbands and wives from sharing a regular practice of prayer.

However, prayer is one of God’s most powerful tools for strengthening your marriage. Our guests for this conversation understand this well, and they are here to share practical tools that will help you and your spouse kickstart your prayer journey together.

Brad and Heidi Mitchell are the co-founders of Build Your Marriage, a ministry dedicated to helping couples create Christ-centered marriages. Out of a season of deep brokenness and God’s powerful restoration, their marriage was rebuilt. That experience became the heart of their ministry. Brad and Heidi have been married for 42 years, and they bring honest, hard-earned wisdom to the journey of developing a lasting marriage.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Some of the factors that break down marriages
• Obstacles that prevent people from praying together
• How to practice “popcorn” prayer
• And more!

If you’ve never prayed with your spouse before, we hope this conversation has provided some useful tools that will help you start!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Prefer to watch this episode? You can now view and subscribe to our YouTube.
• [BOOK] Build Your Marriage with Prayer
• Connect with Brad and Heidi on their website, Instagram, or Facebook
• As a thank you for listening, get your 3 free eBooks.

My Key Takeaways:

1) Prayer protects marriages. The Mitchells shared a statistic that only 1 out of every 1,152 couples who pray together ends their marriage in divorce. That’s less than 1%! When we pray with our spouse, we draw closer to one another, create more intimacy, and strengthen our shared faith. This small practice can have a huge impact.

2) Being comfortable praying with one another takes practice. There will be some awkwardness to overcome when you first start praying with your spouse. It can feel weird to try to speak to God in front of your spouse and even to merge your two prayer styles. The key is to commit to praying together for a period of time and push through the discomfort. As we practice praying together, it will soon become the new normal.

3) There’s no right or wrong way to pray. Many couples struggle to know how to begin praying with their spouse. It can feel like we don’t know the right words to say. The good news is that there is no magical phrase you have to use in order to talk to God. Many couples find it helpful to follow a devotional book like Brad and Heidi’s that provides prayers and prompts you to develop a practice of prayer. Resources like this can help you start the habit of prayer and overcome the worry regarding what or how to speak to God.

About Brad and Heidi:

Brad and Heidi Mitchell are authors, marriage speakers, and co-founders of Build Your Marriage, a ministry devoted to helping couples build a Christ-centered marriage. Out of a season of deep brokenness, infidelity, and God’s powerful restoration, their marriage was rebuilt. Brad and Heidi have been married for 42 years, and they bring honest, hard-earned wisdom to the journey of developing a lasting marriage.

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Deep down, most moms are longing for the same thing. It may show up in different ways, but at its heart, it’s simple: we want to feel seen.

We want to know our families notice the everyday moments—the effort, the sacrifices, the love that often goes unspoken. We want to feel appreciated. Valued. Remembered.

And on Mother’s Day, that desire tends to rise a little closer to the surface.

It doesn’t have to be something big or expensive. But when a gesture is thoughtful—when it reflects that you truly know her and took the time to consider what would mean something—that’s what really touches a mom’s heart.

To help give you some meaningful gift ideas this year, I asked my Empty Nest, Full Life Facebook Group to share their thoughts on what moms really want for Mother’s Day. Here are some of their responses: 

1) Quality Time

“Their TIME and PRESENCE ♥️” – Melissa

“Mostly, time spent together.” – Ruth

“A meal sitting down together.” – Rebecca

“Family hike and no phones!” – Lora

I just love how many moms asked for this gift! In fact, it was the most requested gift out of all the comments I received! Whether it’s coming over to share a meal and conversation, going to church together, or enjoying a hike, moms cherish spending quality time with their kids. Remember, the key word here is “quality!” Here are some pointers for how to make sure the time feels special for Mom:

• Set a positive mood – This doesn’t mean putting on a show or being overly nice. But it does mean that a smile and an enthusiastic spirit go a long way! It also means that Mom is the center of attention. Moms are used to being the person who has to take care of everything and everyone. If you can lift some of that responsibility off of her on Mother’s Day, it will mean the world to her.

• Be fully present – We’re all guilty of scrolling social media during a family dinner or interrupting a social outing to take a work call from time to time. But on Mother’s Day, leave the screens at home (or at least face down on the table). Avoiding these distractions can help you fully enjoy one another’s company in a way you may not have experienced for a long time. 

Too often, we can focus so much on material items that we forget how valuable it is to gift your time. One mom in my group even suggested coming over and helping with projects or gardening. Regardless of what you do together, moms long for a slice of your undivided attention.

2) Handle the Details

“I want to be pampered! Bring me breakfast, flowers, hold the door for me, drop me off and pick me up, honor moms from the pulpit, take me to lunch, and have all the details worked out!” – Beth

“Some kind of meal or activity together that they plan. I always make the plans, and it would feel so special if they thought of something.” – Julie

“Really just a day of having to do nothing. Time for church, reading, and maybe a beach walk. A family game of Scrabble and not having to prepare any meals or clean the kitchen would make the day complete.” – Jill

“I love having a Mother’s Day lunch with my crew – I just don’t want to do dishes!” – April

Moms often are the master coordinators. They make the reservations months in advance. They coordinate a place and time that works for everyone. They’re always checking in to make sure others are enjoying themselves.

But too often, moms end up being the one-person party planning committee for Mother’s Day festivities. What if you took the opportunity this year to organize and manage the day’s agenda for her? 

Now, it’s your turn to take care of her and ensure that all the details are handled so that all she has to do is show up. Moms often carry a heavy portion of the mental load, so imagine what an incredible gift it is to have all the details worked out.

Not sure how big or small to make the event? Here’s a hint: pay attention to how Mom usually plans parties for other people. The way people celebrate others can tell you a lot about how they themselves would like to be celebrated!

3) A Heartfelt Note

“A handwritten note from my son, plus a big hug!” – W.

“I think it would be nice to have some acknowledgment of love and lessons they’ve learned at home. It’s reassuring to be appreciated and remembered.” – Susan

“Personally, a potted plant or flowers to plant and a heartfelt note.” – Marla

“A handwritten card means so much! Especially when they share a happy memory they have of us together.” – Julie

“If they give me a card that seems like they put thought into what it says or write a short note expressing how they feel, that is the most precious gift of all.” – Betsy

Words of affirmation are so valuable in letting moms know that they are seen and their efforts are appreciated. 

When we were little, we may not have had the words or the perspective needed to let Mom know what she meant to us. But once you’re an adult (or young adult), you can really reflect on all the things your mom has done, and is still doing, for you. 

Taking the time to write out all the ways you felt her loving care means so much more than anything you could purchase at a store. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Share your favorite memory with Mom
• Write about the qualities you admire in her and hope to emulate
• Reflect on some life lessons she’s imparted over the years

I hope these ideas have sparked some inspiration as you search for a meaningful gift or experience to give your mom this year. 

I want to leave you with one more response I received from a mom in my Facebook group. I think it perfectly encapsulates the heart of all moms and highlights the gifts that mean the most to us. And to all the moms reading this, “Happy Mother’s Day!”

“The best gifts that keep on giving for me is the year-round love and respect I get from all four of my adult children. They are all in different stages in their own lives, some with their own families, and if all they can afford is a phone call or greeting card or a kiss on the cheek or a potted plant, then I’m the luckiest mom on the planet.”

I’m so grateful to the wonderful women in my Empty Nest, Full Life Facebook group who took the time to share their thoughts. This group has become a special place for Christian moms who are approaching—or already in—the empty nest season. It’s a space to ask questions, offer encouragement, share ideas, and find support from others walking a similar road. We’re always glad to welcome new members, so feel free to join today or pass it along to someone who might benefit.

This group was started after I wrote my book, Empty Nest, Full Life: Discovering God’s Best for Your Next, which resonated with so many moms. If you—or a mom you love—are stepping into the empty nest season, I’ve also created the Empty Nest, Full Life Course, a 4-part experience designed to help you navigate this transition with purpose, hope, and a deeper sense of peace.