jennifer kay smith

Busyness can destroy our identity as a child of God

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:27:00 +0000

More thoughts from Running on Empty: A Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers.

Noise and words and frenzied, hectic schedules dull our senses, closing our ears to His still, small voice and making us numb to His touch. - Charles Swindoll

Life was filled with doing things for God rather than pursuing intimacy with God. I had perfected busyness but failed miserably at stillness.
I could talk easily with others about Jesus, but I knew nothing about how to sit still long enough for Jesus to talk with me
We quickly learn that ceaseless activity earns us tremendous praise
On the surface you appear like a swan graciously gliding along, but beneath the surface you're paddling like a man possessed to get ahead

If I had set out to destroy my identity as a beloved child of God, I couldn't have done better than living in America at the start of the 21st century. The greatest threats I've encountered are not the arguments of skeptics or the lure of drink, drugs, or sex. The greatest treats are the constant busyness and frantic hurry that demand my allegiance.

Living now in a world that never seems to stop for rest, much less slow down, raises my anxiety level. I feel as if I've left something undone.

Several decades ago futurists predicted the arrival of the "leisure society," a world that would demand less work. Testimony before Senate subcommittees in the 1960s forecast that new technology would speed up the work process so much that people would soon be dealing with the "problem" of extra free time. Americans would wonder what to do with all their newfound freedom. Sadly, the futurists were wrong. Greater efficiency has pushed us to use our time for more productivity and more work. Instead of becoming the leisure society, we've become the most driven, most stressed-out society in history.

Running on Empty: Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:06:00 +0000

I picked up this book last weekend. I read the first couple pages and thought immediately of several friends who'd love this book. I emailed one of them and she had bought the book somewhere else that weekend too!

I'll share some notes over the next couple days. It's been a transformational book for me.

Many of us have been hooked on approval since infancy
Emotions that are not expressed cannot be fixed
In contemplation we return to our naked, poor self and discover who we are apart from the role we play
When we take ourselves too seriously, we identify with image, with what we think we are, with our reputation and the applause and compliments of others. Silent solitude liberates the pray-er from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others.
Breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs
Do we value the approval of God more than the approval of others?

Someone told the author: "You seem dreadfully close to losing touch with the Jesus you so desperately want others to know."

This book comes at a good time for me. I do not feel burned out in any way. But I am an overachiever. It's been life changing for me to reflect in the past week that God will love me whether I "fail" or "achieve." Seems simple. We always say God loves you, no matter what.

But it's extremely easy to stop believing it.

Especially when everyone else measures success a different way.

And our human relationships struggle to imitate truly unconditional love.

NYWC - Donald Miller on Story

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:43:00 +0000

Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles

A movie was made out of Blue Like Jazz which was about his life - the screenwriters told him his life was boring - and Don realized they were right - he learned a lot while making this movie...

Every story is about a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it
We approach the Bible looking for what we can get out of it, not simply getting to know God
A perfect character in a story makes people uncomfortable
To tell a good story: the character has to sacrifice of themselves for other people
We think if we succeed, our story/life will matter
But story teaches us that's not true - we must sacrifice of ourselves
A character is that they do, not what we wished we were, or what we want
All about their actions
We have to want something
A character must be clear on what they want of they're pulled from the film
If we want things that aren't important, our story won't be important
Every great story has to have conflict
By staying safe and not moving forward into conflict, our stories/lives are uninteresting
God intends there to be conflict in life

Conflict

Only way a character changes is through conflict
Only way they get better is through pain, not joy
Our stories are uninspired & boring if we avoid conflict
The true great character dives into conflict
Act 3 climax: one action makes everything okay
There's no climax in our human experience - no point where the conflict ends
As Christians, we're taught that there's a hole in our soul that only God can fill
It's not true
That says Jesus is the act 3 climax that will make the conflict go away
Not true
We got this idea from 3,000 commercials a day that instant gratification is possible
We turned Jesus into a product
The Act 3 climax in Scripture is at the wedding feast of the lamb - after we die
In life, we're in the middle of act 2, right in the middle of conflict
"I've learned the secret of being content...hope that will be revealed"

Other Thoughts

The Danish are the happiest people on earth - they have low expectations
We go on such an emotional roller coaster in life
"This will fix my life, I'm so excited" and then it doesn't work
Contentment is our goal - being emotionally even-keeled
The number one way we understand stories is through each other (not always music & movies)
Conflict doesn't mean God hates you
Many of the reasons we're depressed are because we think we can get to a climax and it always falls short

Addressing conflict in the church & youth ministry

Don't jump into conflict unless it has to do with your story/life
Biblical wisdom on confronting authority
The fall of man happened...and it happened to the church too
Don't create conflict for the sake of conflict
Be very discerning in the conflict you enter into

Don is very passionate about helping the fatherless generation

Where's the answer to this generation with absent fathers?
In a wide survey, people were given the choice of government, schools, etc.
85% chose the church
70% atheists chose the church

NYWC - Managing Your Ministry

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:07:00 +0000

Managing Your Ministry - Ginny Olson

God was an organizer - water, sky, day, night Sabbath

Mess = lack of order

Who spends more time looking for things? Messy or neat people? == Neat people because they store things out of sight

When you don't have a clear mission/vision, the team all thinks they're going the right direction

General Planning

1. Choose a system - physical or digital calendar

2. Short-range planning

Take 15-30 minutes at start of the week to plan out your week
Review unfinished work from previous week
Review upcoming calendar

3. Sanity-saving tip

Don't open your email for the first hour of the day
Otherwise you immediately have little things coming at you
Instead, start your day working on a project, you'll feel accomplished and feed off that productivity the rest of the day

4. Prioritize

A = Critical, must get done today
B = Important, but not due today
C = Unncessary
We spend most of our time doing unnecessary things

5. We get nibbled to death by...

Emails & texts
Crisis situations
Junk mail
Lack of a good filing system
Talking with people too much

Use the "away from office" function in your email when you're gone
Change your voicemail often, say when you'll check it next
Get out of your office a day each week for prayer, planning, study, evaluation
Schedule time for things you tend to avoid
Respond rather than react to crisis - Your crisis doesn't mandate my crisis

Long-Range Planning & Event Planning outlines - let me know if you want those!

NYWC - Boys Ministry & Reggie Joiner on change

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 14:11:00 +0000

Aaron and I are having a great time at the National Youth Worker's Convention in Cincinnati this weekend. Enjoy some notes from different sessions...

Smash-Mouth Youth Ministry: Building a Youth Ministry for Boys

True self vs. false self

Our false self is born when we believe other's opinions and then live by those
This is especially true and tough for guys
The false self is created out of fear and insecurity
It's a defense against pain
So we invent a new self that everyone will admire and nobody will know
Every boy is faced with the idea of developing a false self of who they are
Guys need role models who tell them something positive and encouraging every time they're together
Wild at Heart: The true test of a man starts when he can't rely on what he's used all his life - the real journey begins when the false self fails

Practical Ideas

Storytelling - share your story with your boys
Principle of Descent (John the Baptist principle): The only way to real freedom is to give your life away - but it takes humility & transparency
Have dads write letters to their sons and give them out on a retreat
Speak words of affirmation to guys - identify their positive traits

Reggie Joiner

1) People change when the pain associated with the status quo becomes greater than the pain associated with the change

When we build, create or design something, we think it should last longer than it does - we think there's no expiration date on our ideas & opinions
If I want to build something that lasts, I have to be willing to change what I build
Example of first Mac computer in 1985

2) The best way to keep a team moving forward toward your mission is to frequently upgrade your systems

We can't see the end product from where we are but we're driven by the mission
Every time we sit down to talk about what needs improvement, we're reminding ourselves of the mission

3) Every change gives you an opportunity to distinguish between what is core and what is cultural

Define what is core and never changes vs. what is cultural and has an expiration date
Allows us to debate, dialogue and discuss without splitting
Often we take something that is cultural and treat it as if its core
Jesus Christ is core > midweek services are cultural
Bible is core > Sunday School is cultural
Corporate worship is core > Organ and praise bands are cultural
As a leader when talking about change, we can help people decide what's core and then discuss the cultural issues that have an expiration date

4) When you don't upgrade the system, you lose your capacity to support a more relevant approach

It took 80 upgrades in 20+ years and 60 different computers between the 1985 Mac and the MacBook Air
We have a new great idea and put it in a system that hasn't been upgraded
Relevant just means connecting to the matter at hand
We take an eternal concept and help someone see how it would make sense in their world
Jesus was relevant: he came as a Hebrew man in a time when they were oppressed so Jesus could show them how God would act
We don't make Jesus relevant, he already is
Our job is to not get stuck putting God in a box and presenting God in a way that doesn't connect
It's like trying to install Photoshop CS 4 on a 1985 Mac
There's a reason we can't just add something and expect it to work

5) Effective organizations create a culture that is intentional about upgrading critical systems

System that connects leaders to each other
System that we use to communicate truth
We have 40 hours a year with a teenager to tell them everything they need to know about God and faith - they spend 400 hours/year on video games
We're convinced that what moved me should move them
System for how we partner with parents
It's easy to get trapped in the myth that the family is broken and I can fix what the parent can't fix
Help strengthen the entire family
Parents DO HAVE spiritual influence in their teen's lives
They spend 3,000 hours/year with their parents
Encourage parents that they're still influential, not to disengage, learn how to redefine their relationship with their teen
System for how you build relationships between teens & leaders
Parents can't do this alone
Teens often really hear something from a trusted adult who's not the parent
System that mobilizes teens to serve
We often treat youth ministry as a spectator sport
Reorganize ministry so teens are serving
Mission trips were transformational for us, why wouldn't they be for teens?
We can tell them all the time they're significant, but until we give them something significant to do, they won't get it
Instead of defining success by numbers, define it by what % are serving

more coming soon... :) I know you're waiting on pins and needles ;)

an 8th grader's goals for a relationship with God

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:58:00 +0000

In the short time I've been hanging out with teens at Stillwater, I've learned how interesting it is to try to measure spiritual growth. Are the things we put all our time and effort in showing up as growth in children, teens and adults?

The more realistic revelation is understanding our place in the seed planting process. I'll get to see spiritual growth in some teens. I'm deeply thankful for those moments. But here's the kicker...I'm getting to see spiritual growth because several people invested in this teen long before I got to hang out with them.

For others, their contact with our church is the first time they'll hear that God is crazy in love with them. A pastor in 10 years might get to see major spiritual growth in that person.

I think this is one of the subtle awkward truths of ministry. We can't will growth to happen. But we sure work like we can. We should simply love people, give them resources & practices to connect with God, listen, tell the truth of the Gospel and care for them. Then we watch the Trinity go to town. I want to live my life in such a way that I constantly remember my place in the process.

All that to say I wanted to share something cool with you. :)

One of our 8th graders texted me last night saying she had a list of goals for her relationship with God. This wasn't something I challenged her to do. Made this list on her own...

Goals for My Relationship with God

To spend more time with God in general
To totally devote my life to God
Sometimes I feel like I only have a relationship with God because He's my ticket out of Hell and into Heaven. I don't want to be like that at all. I want to be in a relationship with God because He can use me as a witness and can make my life sooo much better.
I want to have a fair, unselfish relationship with God. I do NOT want God to be like my good luck charm that I only have contact with when I need something or have a problem. I want Him to be my BEST friend that I go to with everything. I want to crave conversations with God.
I want to be totally focused on God and make decision based on what He thinks
I want to start praying every night again before I go to bed
I want to start reading the Bible daily. There's so much that I don't know about it
I want my life to totally revolve around God instead of myself

Celebrate the life situations where you see God at work. The more we tell those stories, the more we're aware that God is present in more situations than we ever thought.

I am the pastor's robe

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:40:00 +0000

I'm finally going through the six bookcases of books I own. By the encouragement of my husband, I've got to get rid of some of them. :) I came across a book I didn't know I owned: Courageous Spirit: Voices from Women in Ministry. I flipped through it and landed on this story below. I have yet to wear a robe in ministry but this story still spoke deeply to my soul.

I am the pastor's robe. I hang on the office door amidst stoles, crosses, and bubble necklaces. I see her furrowed brow as she types at her computer. I see her laughing on the phone. I see her crying, bent forward in her chair as emotions gush forth from her depths.

I am the pastor's robe. I listen to meetings she holds with other people. I hear her strategize, think creatively, be funny. I hear her reflect the feelings of others. I hear her miss the point, get defensive. I hear her listening. I hear her regroup. I hear her relax, be playful. I hear how hard she is trying; I hear how hard she can be.

I am the pastor's robe. On Sundays she puts me on. I feel her weariness, her excitement. I feel her mustering courage, will, hope. I feel her love for others coming through me. I feel her fear of being hurt, being wrong, being different - and hiding inside me. I feel her forget why she chose this path. I feel her forget she ever doubted it.

I am the pastor's robe. She takes me off. She hangs me back up. I witness a content smile as she remembers the day, a welling in the eyes when she remembers someone's words. She shuts her computer down, grabs her bag, picks up her keys, and turns to me.

She neither wants nor waits, neither wonders nor worries. She simply looks - thinking of the day she got me, imagining the day she'll fold me. She reflects on the day of growing old and smiles, remembering with grace her furrowed brow and her hard efforts. Remembering with amusement her seriousness and anxiety. Smiling with joy, because she never stopped laughing or learning or risking love.

I am the pastor's robe. I am her gown of proclamation, her apron of service, her shield from negative forces, and her gateway to the Spirit. I am the pastor's robe. See how she wears me.

- Crystal R. Sygeel

Pacific Northwest Conference

telling our stories

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:05:00 +0000

I got to talk about the power of sharing our faith stories last weekend at Frederick Pike. Talked about why we should and why we don't. Shared some ways to better understand where we've been and seeing God's action in our lives. I was honored to share Amy, Shannon and Adam's stories in worship.

Several people commented on the power of hearing stories from people we know. It's fairly easy to grab a video camera and a mic, sit down with people, get pictures that go along with their story for b-roll, edit it together and show it in worship. They're certainly not the best videos ever. But it's getting amazing stories of faith up on the screen for our people to hear. Enjoy...

Facebook people: Check out the videos here

thoughts from leadership institute

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:45:00 +0000

a beautiful autumn day in ohio

we're getting ready to share at lunch!

sanctuary at church of the resurrection

umc young clergy pondering our list of dreams

rezlife youth group

computers for teens to sign up for events and surf the web

church of the resurrection

This past week I got to represent GBHEM at the Leadership Institute in Kansas City. It's an annual conference hosted by Church of the Resurrection, the largest United Methodist Church in the US. Some of my highlights:

meeting up with other young pastors through our UMC Young Clergy network for an afternoon of sharing, dreaming and discernment
sharing about GBHEM and the young clergy project at the Friday lunch
spending time with four pastors from my Alaska Conference
getting my first rental car :)
visiting their youth group on Wednesday night

Leadership Lessons

Send every single decision through the framework of MVP (Mission - Why are we here? Vision - Where are we going? Plan - How are we getting there?)
We like change as long as we've initiated it
Set high expectations for your church that we'll meet God in worship
Give people space to do business with God during the worship service - too often we do all the talking
The closer you get to Christ, the farther you feel from him
If you're a leader, you will be criticized
Facts are our friends...even if we don't like them
A good organizational mission is brief, clear, inspires, gives clear direction and provides limitations
Every sermon has 5 goals: inform, inspire & motivate, invite, practical & relevant and Biblical
Be expectant!
Define for your people what it looks like to be a committed Christian

The #1 thing their senior pastor, Adam Hamilton, does so well is give intentionality to everything they do. He doesn't just say it once or twice but drives the point home over and over in different ways. Every single person in the church of 12,000 knows why exist and what their purpose is as a faith community.

Throw it at the cross

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:59:00 +0000

Last weekend I got to preach on holding grudges at our Frederick Pike campus. I was glad my sermon was done earlier in the week since I got sick as the week wore on.

Our teens opened the teaching time with a modern-day drama of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18. I wish I could have just read the scripture and sat down. Jesus was so clear on how we should forgive others.

We invited people to write down a person who they want to forgive or at least start that journey. They crumpled it up and held onto it as we remembered how much energy we've wasted on this situation. Then I invited them to lay it at the foot of the cross as they came up for communion.

At the 9:30 service, I saw an older woman walk down front, wind up her arm and throw her crumpled paper at the cross. I could feel her pain in that action.

Many of us are clinging to pain that's lasted a life time. We keep score of how others have hurt us. We hold onto the score card because it seems fair.

Matthew 18:21-35 is annoyingly simple. God has forgiven us each an immense debt. We are to turn around and forgive others. If not, we'll be tortured through keeping score.

Hold out your hands in front of you. Clench your fists. Feel the time, energy, tears and anger you've wasted on this junk.

By the power

Jesus

Christ....

let

go.

time to start commissioning questions...

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:31:00 +0000

This morning I'm sitting down to start answering the questions to become a commissioned member of the United Methodist Church. That means I can get an appointment in a church while I spend a couple years in probationary/residency status. Then I would be ordained a full elder in the United Methodist Church.

For those of you who've followed this blog since I began seminary, it's been a long journey! I'm sensing the importance of these questions as I discern what to write. I'm reminded of the seriousness and importance of helping people in their walk with God. I don't take this lightly and am honored to spend the next several months reflecting and writing on these issues...

My understanding of God

Evil

Humanity & grace

Jesus Christ

Holy Spirit

Kingdom of God, resurrection & eternal life

Quadrilateral

Nature & mission of the church

United Methodist polity

My gifts for ministry

Servant ministry

Ordination

Inclusive church

Integrity & spiritual disciplines

Whew :) I'll be working on these until I go before the Pacific Northwest Conference in February in Seattle. Here goes...

Revolve Tour 2009

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:14:00 +0000

We had a blast this past weekend in Columbus on the Revolve Tour. We took about 45 girls & adults. My favorite moments were improv comedy at midnight, hearing girls share their renewed love for God and committment to making good changes, laughing for hours, giggling at 2am, pizza, panera bagels, driving around downtown columbus on game day & hearing speakers who were funny, focused and real. More pics here. Videos coming soon...

mexico, friends, sun & vegas

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:32:00 +0000

Aaron and I just got back from our last summer trip! More pics here.

I enjoyed haggling for a guitar and magnet in la bufadora in mexico. We enjoyed comedy shows, eating dinner with our tablemates, laying out, reading, driving a golf cart, jeep and scooters, beautiful weather, casinos in vegas, swimming in the pacific ocean in mexico and lots of great conversations.

life in the margins

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:27:00 +0000

I've been thinking lately about margins. The extra space in our lives. I've been to a couple conferences where the speaker has reflected on the importance of living in the margins.

When I fill my life with everything I can think of (and usually all great endeavors), I get stressed, sick, worried and worn out. This could be too many school classes, spending too much time at work, scheduling too many activities, hanging out with too many groups and people, etc.

I heard someone say once that it's amazing how every opportunity is an amazing opportunity. If we say yes to every great thing, we're doomed. When I'm inviting people to serve in teen ministry, I always tell them I value people who can say no because they'd be over committed. I have to trust that the right people will discern it's a great time for them to serve.

When I say no, it makes my yes mean something.

Benefits of Living in the Margins

better health (which honors God)
more focused & relaxed time with God
choosing to invest your time (which is now more valuable) in specific people
leaving work at work and being present with your family at home
a deeper awareness of God's movement
i've had more meaningful conversations in the last month or so since I've focused on this - it's incredible how I see opportunities that before I didn't have time for
it reminds me that I'm a child of God and don't have to earn anything - my busyness doesn't make God love me more

For those of us who have the desire to fill our schedule and never sit still, what are we afraid of if we slow down?

What can you do to create more space and downtime in your life?

Is there something you know you need to step back from so you have more time for something else?

Discerning God's call is like driving in a downpour

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Last week I was driving some of our our teens home from an afternoon of mini-golf. The heavens opened up and let loose on Dayton, Ohio.

As I drove down Main Street, I realized that discerning God's call in my life is like driving in a downpour.

1. I couldn't see very far in front of me. 5 feet maybe? Beyond that it wasn't clear at all.

2. I could drive on recall because I was familiar with some of the roads but some areas were new to me. I could not even guess where the road went.

3. I had my GPS that so clearly told me where to go. But if I looked 3 inches to the left of the GPS at the drenching rain, I got nervous.

4. It was more fun when there were friends in the car with me. They couldn't always tell me where to go, but they were along for the ride.

5. I felt camaraderie with the cars around me. Mostly we were going slow and staying close to each other's tail lights so we could see. When I got too far from other cars, it was even harder to see where to go.

6. The whole time the GPS knew where I was and where I was going. I could trust that. But I still had to do the work of driving in the downpour.

There are so many nuances to discerning a call from God. It's joyful, frustrating, painful, confusing, peaceful, complicated, exciting, scary and messy. But every conversation with a trusted friend and mentor has moved me closer to the heart of God. I've also learned that there isn't necessarily and right and wrong choice. God will use us wherever we are.

If you or someone you know is 18-24 years old and thinking about full-time ministry, I invite you to check out a very cool event in Dallas this November. More info here.

Check out some other posts on discerning a call into ministry here.

friendship takes time

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:48:00 +0000

We've been talking a lot about community lately at church. Reminds me that I don't have many friends my age. I feel close to many people younger and older than me. But there's something about connecting with people my age.

Aaron and I got a great opportunity to hang out on Sunday with a new couple who's moved to the Dayton area. Looking forward to eating dinner & playing cards at their place on Wednesday.

Then a friend I've known for a while and I went out to dinner tonight. We haven't spent time together in a while. And I was reminded that friendship takes work. I talk often about how difficult it is to make friends after college. We get busy and if we don't call people up and make things happen, months & years fly by.

Then we wonder if there's more than the situation we're in. We all want the same thing.

For others to know the real us. We want to share our life with friends we trust. We want to know others in a way that really means something. We want to laugh, joke around, make memories, understand and challenge each other.

And we can all have it. But it takes work. It takes time.

Calling all bloggers!

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:57:00 +0000

On Thursday, August 20, anybody who has discerned a call into ministry is invited to publish a post on what that process has been like.

What are the struggles, joys, surprises and outcomes? Who helped you along? Where are you now? What do you wish someone told you at the beginning of discernment?

Write the post, send the link to umcyoungclergy@gmail.com and they'll all be posted at www.umcyoungclergy.com on the 20th.

We hope the outcome is two fold:

They'll be shared with young adults ages 18-24 considering a call into ministry
They'll also be helpful for young adults interested in attending Exploration 2009 this November 13-15

You're invited to include a link to the Exploration website and a personal invitation for young adults to attend this discerning event.

The power of community and prayer as young adults continue this discerning journey is powerful. Thanks for helping spread the word!

old dreams & new dreams

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:47:00 +0000

1 Kings:1-5: Hiram king of Tyre sent ambassadors to Solomon when he heard that he had been crowned king in David's place. Hiram had loved David his whole life. Solomon responded, saying, "You know that David my father was not able to build a temple in honor of God because of the wars he had to fight on all sides, until God finally put them down. But now God has provided peace all around—no one against us, nothing at odds with us.

"Now here is what I want to do: Build a temple in honor of God, my God, following the promise that God gave to David my father, namely, 'Your son whom I will provide to succeed you as king, he will build a house in my honor.'

David wasn't able to build a temple because God had something else in mind for him. God called David's son, Solomon, to build the temple.

What are we not able to do because we've been called to something else? Are we holding onto an old dream with a death grip and not able to see a new dream God has for us?

Old dreams can get in the way of new ones.

I can't save them all

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:22:00 +0000

We went fishing one day when we were in Nome, Alaska last month. I decided to meander down the beach since it was a gorgeous day. I was rocking out with my ipod and quite enjoying myself.

I looked down and saw a starfish washed up on the beach. He was moving a lot so I got a stick and tried to get him back in the water. I threw him back in and noticed there were a ton of other starfish washed up too.

Then it hit me.

I can't save them all.

No matter how hard I tried, I can't save all these starfish from washing up and dying on the shores of the Bering Sea.

And I had to be okay with that.

It's the same in ministry. There is so much pain, heartache & brokenness. I want to single-handedly save every child, teen, young adult and adult that I can. I want them to experience the unchanging, indescribable and quiet peace that God brings. I want their worries to melt away as they place things in God's care. I want them to face hard issues in life and have the confidence that God is with them and will heal the situation.

But I can't save them all.

God does the saving. I just love whoever is in front of me the best that I can. I hope I point them to God as best I can.

Clarity of purpose is great isn't it? Love God & love others. That's it.

chuck e cheese, hiking, friends & family in alaska

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:09:00 +0000

I did get some great family time & down time in between my school trip to Nome and my sister's wedding. Here's the rest of the trip. I love Alaska.

leaving Seattle, view of Mt. Rainier

my mom has done enough classes to earn an equivalent of a master's degree in nursing so we made her a certificate and had a graduation ceremony :)

right before we found out there really was a bear on the trail

beautiful paintings put up at st. john umc in honor of my parents

i gave my brother a couple piano lessons

my sister got married!

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:10:00 +0000

My little sister got married last Saturday! It was such a fun weekend. Rehearsal dinner at Sourdough Mining Company with ribs, chicken and halibut. Ceremony was at our home church, St. John UMC and reception was at O'Malley's on the Greene. We danced all night and sent them off in a cloud of bubbles. They're going on their honeymoon to Mexico this weekend.

Congrats Lauren & Rob! We love you both so much. Welcome to the family Rob :)

More pics at the end of this album

salmon lake, van rides & a village

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 05:09:00 +0000

Fish hanging to dry in the village of Teller, Alaska

The team cruising the streets of Teller with the Lutheran pastor

On the way to Teller

A Lutheran camp on Salmon Lake

We drove an hour to Salmon Lake and back this morning. Beautiful day. Scenery just takes your breath away, over and over and over. We got separated from our other car. Once we finally reunited we jumped back in the van to head 2 hours northwest to the village of Teller. 200 people live there. There's no running water or sewer in Teller. Great school though.

Their biggest problem is that they're located on a flood plain. Businesses won't invest and move into the area. We met with a Lutheran pastor who serves Teller and Brevig Mission, a small village across the water. He gave us a lot to debrief tonight about his ministry and 19 years in those villages.

Our professor got out of the van and said, "I've ever said anything bad about Nome..." Then he said, "No, if I've ever said anything bad about Dayton..."

Back to church late to debrief & have devotions.

I've heard God speak very clearly this week. Deeply refreshing.

senior center, starfish, fishing & bars

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 06:40:00 +0000

I fished! Didn't catch anything though.

I saved this starfish.

The girls posing with the 3 Swedes, the guys who discovered gold at Nome that prompted the Gold Rush.

Friday morning :)

Today we ate lunch with elders at the senior center. It was great to hear their stories about life at their summer fish camps.

Julie & David took us to the mouth of the Yukon River to fish. It was an absolutely beautiful day. I found a tiny little speck of gold too! But I threw it back because 1) everyone said it was fools gold & not real and 2) it was so small I couldn't hold onto it. But I swear it was gold.

We had a great dinner back at the church. Julie and David said Friday was usually their date night so we decided to set up a candlelight table for them with flowers & encouraging notes. And it's Kristen's 25th birthday today! We had cake & ice cream.

We debriefed and had evening devotions. Marcia came and talked to us about alcoholism in Nome. There are 9 bars and 4 liquor stores in this small town of 3500 people. It's a $5 million/year industry. In comparison, their school's budget is $2 million/year. Alaska has local option law on alcohol. Each town can vote on whether to be wet, dry or damp. Nome is certainly a wet town. People are also allowed to smoke anywhere.

Marcia shared that a drunk can come to Nome and be almost functional because a high level of intoxication is tolerated. There's little accountability for people who are late to work, can't pay bills, etc.

There is also no public drunkenness ordinance. It's okay to be drunk in Nome. Cops can only pick someone up if they're endangering someone else and they have to take them to the hospital. That drives up hospital costs as there are 1000-1200 alcohol-related hospitalizations a year.

So the problem is big for Nome. Marcia took us to see two of the bars. One had pull tabs littered all over the floor. Gambling is also an issue here.

It's 11pm and the guys went back out fishing since the sun is bright and it's still a beautiful day. The girls are heading to bed. :)

on air, squirrel parkas & walter the walrus

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:29:00 +0000

a camp we went to on the coast for a potluck dinner

we found walter the walrus. poor guy. we had a funeral.

wilfred anowlic, very cool alaska native who spent time with us

we got to help host the morning radio show!

Today I watched my professor chase reindeer, saw walter the walrus dead on a beach, almost got smoked out of a small cabin, used an outhouse, celebrated Julie's birthday, spent $60 on fruit, looked for gold and talked on a morning radio show. I love Alaska.

It was great to be a part of the morning prayer show at one of the local radio stations. I understand now a little more about the power of radio. I had trouble with the industry not knowing how many were listening. With internet, we know how many people visit at any moment. I don't put my time into something that no one enjoys. But with radio, it's trust that someone is listening. They do a survey every 10 years that tells them who regularly listens. They also got permission from the Geneva Commission to broadcast into Russia!!

Wilfred Anowlic, an Alaska native who lived on King Island, came and spent time with us. Here's a picture of where he used to live. The island wasn't flat. They lived on the side of it! He called it paradise. No traffic, no stoplights, no stores.

Wilfred: "God has given us everything we need to survive through earth & nature." "My favorite white man food is T-bone steak."

Wilfred and his people were kicked off the island when the government thought the rocks on the mountain would fall on their houses. The rocks never did. But the people were removed from the only home they've ever known. The land & sea is everything for Alaska natives.

Kristen and I were walking to the grocery store when we looked up and saw a reindeer riding in the back of a truck. It was so funny. Turns out a family in town has a pet reindeer.

We had a potluck dinner at a camp on the ocean with the other pastors in town. We ventured down to the beach and found a dead walrus. We named him Walter and had a funeral. Poor guy.

During dinner, everyone rushed to the window because 6-8 wild reindeer were walking across the tundra. We ran outside to get a better look. Really wishing I had my better camera. But my professor walked much closer to them and got about 75 yards away.

Enjoyed a couple hours of devotions & debrief this evening.

pics from today are at the end of this album

my professor's blog post about yesterday

Radio, pizza & kids

jkbsmith@gmail.com (jenny) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:52:00 +0000

headquarters for the sin city of Nome

biggest pizza slice ever

Today we toured two radio stations here in Nome. They play music, news & weather. They also act as a message board for the 15 surrounding villages. People can call in with messages for others.

We're impressed with the passion & energy of people who serve in ministry here. We figure they have to otherwise they probably wouldn't choose to live here.

We attended a Rotary meeting at Airport Pizza over lunch. Jesse Zink shared a presentation on his time in South Africa working in a clinic. Ironic to see pictures from a place with deep poverty while we're experiencing similarities here.

One of the radio stations purposely installed a lot of windows so their staff can stay connected with the outside world during the dark winter months. The radio stations help get the word out that traveling medical equipment and doctors will be visiting a village.

One of the radio station managers said sometimes you just have to keep lighting candles instead of focusing on the darkness. Appreciated that comment.

We stopped by a museum and learned some Nome history. They said people can still find gold on the beach here. We're going to try it later this week. :)

We got some downtime and then played with kids from the Children's Home on the church playground. They kicked my butt at tag. So much fun.

new pics are at the end of this album

Here's David's post from yesterday