JdMacHope

I wish you peace.

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Sat, 21 Nov 2015 23:32:00 +0000

I have to work hard to get to this peace I find today within my heart without Jon. He will always be a part of me but he rests somewhere else now... With strength and courage I survive each moment today, tomorrow and every day after that.

I wish you all peace this Thanksgiving 2015... Life is short... live it well!

Time. this all takes time.. Vonna

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:06:00 +0000

For all the angel mothers who struggle!
You can do the impossible... remember that!

compassionatefriends.org

peace vonna

When Families Grieve "A different way to look at grief!"

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 23:56:00 +0000

I was doing a little research on Family Grief a subject I have had on my mind for a while.
Posting has been for me quite a challenge lately!

Family grief is can get quite complicated!

Sometimes baby steps and getting back to basics keeps it simple. Who knew family grief can be just this easy.

When Families Grieve

Children Learn What They Live  By Dorothy Law Nolte

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 03:55:00 +0000

If children live with criticism, 
They learn to condemn. 
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight. 
If children live with ridicule, 
They learn to be shy. 
If children live with shame, 
They learn to feel guilty. 

If children live with encouragement, 
They learn confidence. 
If children live with tolerance, 
They learn to be patient. 
If children live with praise, 
They learn to appreciate. 
If children live with acceptance, 
They learn to love. 
If children live with approval, 
They learn to like themselves. 
If children live with honesty, 
They learn truthfulness. 
If children live with security, 
They learn to have faith in themselves and others. 

If children live with friendliness, 
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.  

Copyright © 1972/1975 by Dorothy Law Nolte  

Children Learn What They Live

November is National Adoption Awareness Month

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 21:14:00 +0000

Could it be possible that maybe my destination on this new journey is to help other not necessarily "like in kind". Just bringing factual information, events from organizations, people bigger than I can ever be. If they can make a difference than why can't I pay it forward for them? You see, I have days that I sit wonderment of what shall I do next, what should I eat, should I, could I; YES, yes I can do it.

November is not so much a good month for me as soon it will be three years.
Gone he has been gone three years. I have my good days and I have my drop down "UGLY" days.
Just like any other mother who has lost a child.

You don't go get over it, you go through it.

Back in 2006 I had a website with a friend dedicated to designing and creating adoption awareness handmade jewelry for "The Dave Thomas Foundation" and "Wendy Wonderful Kids" through The Dave Thomas foundation donating the proceeds to these children. I donated my time to a wonderful organization in Wisconsin working with great woman. "Adoption Resources of Wisconsin"

----------------------------------------------

"You could save a life and possible change yours"

In the United state over 114,000 plus children are in foster care, and they are waiting for good homes and a loving family. These children have been removed from their homes for so many reasons. Children of child abuse, abandonment, neglect, or just thrown out on the streets.

I found this poem it made me cry....

My Pillow

As I lay on my pillow
with my eyes shut I think
and wonder while I dream.
I lay on my pillow as I get beaten
my body sore and I’m in pain,
As I lay on my pillow
I think about the future and what it holds.
As I lay on my pillow I think about where
God is going 2 send me.
I lay on my pillow dying from stress that a young girl shouldn’t have.
My pillow is full of tears. Asking God am I safe.
Lying on my pillow I cry because I want mom.
Wondering where is she.
As I lay on my pillow I fade away slowly but surely!
Lying on my pillow
As an angel!! --Thelma Gafford. 7/13/06
The above poem taken from "
Our Voices Cook County Public Guardian"

Friday November, 19, 8:00 am
10201 W. Watertown Plank Rd.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

A celebration event for the families who are having an adoption finalization at the
Children's Court Center (Vel R. Phillips Juvenile Justice Center)).
Breakfast brunch will be available for the families as well as other activities such as coloring and other. Backpacks stuffed with toys, books and blanket and other gifts for the children being adopted.

An statement from a friend to me:
(It isn't all about me, it is about people giving back and paying it forward)

Vonna is Hero Today
She (like many others here) is a true & loyal friend.
She listens to me whenever I need to vent or cry or even scream & she always calms me down enough to see things clearly.
It doesn't matter how much time has passed between our contact with each other,
our friendship never falters.
She never fails to make me laugh.
She's not afraid to yell at me when I need it (lol) and she gives advice with a gentle heart.
She's trustworthy and her word is her bond.
I love you Vonna.
And I am so very glad that you are my friend. ♥

I never thanked her.. Now I do!

♥ You can donate for adoption and just by a cute bear too!

Author Unknown

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 00:40:00 +0000

"A ray of sunshine, a balmy breeze.
Are a gift from God above
And He also gives us faithful friends.
To warm our hearts with love"
Author Unknown

Grief it's Complicated OCT 27, 2010

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:01:00 +0000

How time sure does fly by. Fall is among us, and do I dare say that the winter months are slowly approaching. Those dreadful months of most of us when it's cold, dreary and the sun sure doesn't shine. By Jamie Sotonoff Daily Herald Staff 9/30/2010

What began as a few suburban moms fed up with the community's unorganized efforts toward drug education and prevention has evolved into the new Ela Coalition Against Youth Substance Abuse.The coalition is composed of roughly two dozen high-ranking police, school and business leaders from around the Lake Zurich area, as well as a doctor, social service administrators, parents and local PTO presidents.

Coalition member and Lake Zurich Police Chief Patrick Finlon says the group is compiling data on the use of substances like alcohol, marijuana, prescription drugs and heroin among young people in the area.

"What we're really trying to do here is identify the substances being abused, and then educate the parents. Awareness is a big part of this. Not fear, but knowledge," he said. "What the problem boils down to is availability. We'll develop strategies to reduce availability."

Educating young people about these substances is another goal, said coalition member Susan Kostner, an alcohol and drug counselor and the clinical director of Ela Township's social work program.
"We're also looking at the kids doing positive stuff, and how to keep them staying positive and making them role models in the community," she said. "We have to get people involved."

The coalition was formed this summer after a standing-room-only drug education forum at Lake Zurich High School in February. The idea was to study the problems and see what ideas realistically can be put into action.

"Forums are great. People get excited and riled up, but then what? This (coalition) gives people an opportunity to get organized to address the issues," said Liz Nelson, a coalition member and a community health specialist with the Lake County Health Department.

Ideas being discussed include drug testing in area high schools, crackdowns on underage liquor sales, and educating parents about things to watch for to make sure their children aren't using drugs.
The group also is planning an educational forum for parents Oct. 27 at Lake Zurich High School, to be held in conjunction with Red Ribbon Week. The schools and businesses are getting involved, encouraging people to wear the color red, displaying fliers promoting the event, and working to increase awareness about drugs in the suburbs.

"Everyone has just rallied around this issue," Nelson said.

Drugs are a chronic problem across the Chicago area.

Recent headlines include a "Dial-A-Rock" crack and cocaine operation in Arlington Heights, an indoor pot farm in Woodstock, a "historically large" methamphetamine bust in Aurora, and a record number of heroin-related deaths in Lake County.

Roosevelt University released a study this summer that ranked the suburbs among the worst nationally for heroin-related problems. The report found a spike in the number of heroin overdoses in the collar counties up 130 percent in Lake County in the last decade, up 150 percent in three years in McHenry, and up 100 percent in just two years in Will.

As a result of all this, many communities across the suburbs, including Barrington, Mundelein and Des Plaines, have formed coalitions to address these issues. Lake Zurich's is the newest addition.
"It is in our backyard and there are kids from Lake Zurich who have died. But we have to take it a step at a time," Kostner said.
Michelle Hines, the Lake Zurich mom who spearheaded the effort for the initial forum that led to the Ela coalition's creation, applauds her community for not trying to sweep the problems under the rug.
Instead, she said, a lot of people are ready to face them head-on.

Raising awareness and education is the key, she said.

"Not every community is willing to do this," Hines said. "It is time-consuming ... but it only takes one person to get it started. It's not all me; it's the community. We were called to come together, and we came. We just have to keep it rolling."

Anyone interested in becoming involved is invited to attend the next meeting, at 10 a.m. Monday at Ela Town Hall, 1155 E. Route 22, in Lake Zurich. For information about other upcoming meetings, call Kostner at (847) 540-8380.

NEWS FLASH! No Child shall be left behind!

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 00:08:00 +0000

To much to read to much to investigate -- but what I have seen on 60 minutes tonight makes me happy!
Just wanted to share.. Unbelievable amount of money they have donated globally for the children of our future! Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation

Courage, Change & Acceptance

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:55:00 +0000

A day of courage, a day of change for me, the fact that Jonathan is not coming home for dinner tonight, he isn't going to call me, he won't be poking me on Facebook from his computer downstairs and he won't be saying. "I love you "Ma".

I don't have to accept this fact, I just have to learn how to live with this fact.

Two things I have found today that may just help parents with children, teens, young adults that have issues with alcohol and drugs. An entire community and a wealth of information can be found here -- I thought I would share this post I found.

"We’ve heard that necessity is the mother of invention and that change emerges when you can’t keep doing something the same way. Mental balance is sometimes that necessity. Positive change and acceptance are more than just talking and coping. It’s not necessarily as complicated as it sounds. Change in context to acceptance is powerful and it takes courage to break through the destructive patterns that are in the way. Change is born of courage. Acceptance is what we give something we know we are powerless with. Wisdom is knowing that difference. In a nut shell, that’s the serenity prayer. It has served those impacted by the actions of an addict as much as it has any addict."
August 17, 2010 Intervene Blog Post - read the rest of the story

"You see a mother should not loose a child, it changes her life forever."

Intervention I found out this show was going to air this evening.. May "God" bless this family.

"Tormented as a child and viewed as a failure by his father, ~~Joe~~ turned to getting high as a way out at an early age.

Comcast has an online TV listing schedule.
Check your Cable Network Listings for your area.
7:00 PM on A & E TV August 30th 2010

A thought while writing the book.

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 03:30:00 +0000

Drugs have the power to both destroy and heal.
When we speak honestly and openly with our children about drugs.
It's a win win situation as they can change our world into the future.

Eric Carle's Dragons Dragons & Other Creatures That Never Were.

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:53:00 +0000

Special Stories within the books of his belongings!

Mermaid Undersea

Beneath the waters
Green and cool
The mermaids keep
A swimming school.

The oysters trot;
The lobsters prance;
The dolphins come
To join the dance.

But the jellyfish
Who are rather small
Can't seem to learn
The steps at all.

"Marchette Chute"

As I stumbled through that first day back home deciding to organize his belongings; the story above was marked in this book by him. My desire to seek the truth shall never stop. I shall continue to heal as I speak my peace. You may think I am wrong you may think I am right, this is your choice. This post is my own an interpretation, my opinion of the thoughts the feelings my son had within his soul.
"that only a mother could know"

If you look up the definition of a jellyfish you will find a wealth of factual information, stories, quotes, books, pictures and much more.
This is what I found, this is what smacked me upside the head!
Taken from:
Medusa-Truth he makes an appeal to Maya-Lie."
—Jack London, The Mutiny of the Elsinore

"The profoundest instinct in man is to war against the truth; that is, against the Real. He shuns facts from his infancy. His life is a perpetual evasion. Miracle, chimera and to-morrow keep him alive. He lives on fiction and myth. It is the Lie that makes him free. Animals alone are given the privilege of lifting the veil of Isis; men dare not. The animal, awake, has no fictional escape from the Real because he has no imagination. Man, awake, is compelled to seek a perpetual escape into Hope, Belief, Fable, Art, God, Socialism, Immortality, Alcohol, Love.

My son was not heard, my son would not speak... his decision to journal his life was his choice. Yet that next tomorrow never came.

A poem for my children who are still here.

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 03:30:00 +0000

A Mother's Poem
I found for Katie & Michael

A Mother's Child by Mom

A mother's child is every breath that she takes, walking hand in hand, they are every step that she makes. And as their steps will grow to strides, still a child, in mother's eyes.

Every ache and pain they shall feel, mother will share and with love she will kneel. She will pray to God to take care of her child, to protect and guide them through every mile.

Her child is the very core of her soul, from baby in arms to an adult they will grow. For to a mother, her child will stay, the precious infant she held that day.

Poems for the People - Poems by the People

"The Myth of Getting Over It." Steven Kalas

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 05:39:00 +0000

The following story was shared with me yesterday. I urge you to read this post in it's entirety. Looking from the outside into a world he does not know. He truly hit the nail on the head!

[quoted text] When our first child is born, a loud voice says, "Runners, take your marks!" We hear the starting gun and the race begins. It's a race we must win at all cost. We have to win. The competition is called "I'll race you to the grave." I'm currently racing three sons.

I really want to win. Not everyone wins.

I'm soon going on stage to speak before a crowd of parents and loved ones impacted by the death of a child. My address is titled, "The Myth of Getting Over It." It's my attempt to answer the driving questions of grieving parents: When will I get over this? How do I get over this? You don't get over it. Getting over it is an inappropriate goal, an unreasonable hope. The loss of a child changes you. It changes your marriage. It changes the way birds sing. It changes the way the sun rises and sets. You are forever different. You don't want to get over it. Don't act surprised. As awful a burden as grief is, you know intuitively that it matters, that it is profoundly important to be grieving. Your grief plays a crucial part in staying connected to your child's life. To give up your grief would mean losing your child yet again.

If I had the power to take your grief away, you'd fight me to keep it. Your grief is awful, but it is also holy, and somewhere inside you, you know that. The goal is not to get over it. The goal is to get on with it. Profound grief is like being in a stage play wherein suddenly the stagehands push a huge grand piano into the middle of the set. The piano paralyzes the play. It dominates the stage. No matter where you move it impedes your sight lines, your ability to interact with the other players. You keep banging into it, surprised each time that it's still there. It takes all your concentration to work around it, this at a time when you have little ability or desire to concentrate on anything.

The piano changes everything. The play must be rewritten around it. But over time the piano is pushed to stage left. Then to upper stage left. You are the playwright, and slowly, surely, you begin to find the impetus and wherewithal to stop reacting to the intrusive piano. Instead, you engage it. Instead of writing every scene around the piano, you begin to write the piano into each scene, into the story. You learn to play that piano. You're surprised to find that you want to play it, that it's meaningful, even peaceful to play it.

Written by a man, his name Steven Kalas, not a bereaved parent, which is amazing in itself. Steven C. Kalas, M.Th. Born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, Steven graduated from Northern Arizona University with a B.S. in Psychology and earned his Masters in Theology at Southern Methodist University.

Blog Post for May 17, 2010

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:54:00 +0000

Loosing a child is devastating and living with this loss at sometimes unbearable. Life’s took a turn and as my son; despite his ongoing efforts to get away from this disease of alcohol & drug addiction died making just one bad choice. Many journals he left, many stories he told. Over Two and a half years after the fact, certain circumstances change, this blog will continue. This disease of drug addiction and alcoholism sees no color, no gender, no age, nor income bracket; it brings its death to those we love. It is a simple matter perhaps, but dwells in our back yards. These are "The Children of our Future" – in my words enough said for today

“Everyday Miracles – Holy Moments in a Mother’s Day"

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:00:00 +0000

The following was sent to me the other day from my friend Debra. I am grateful for her friendship and thought I would share as no matter how hard you think it is to get through this day. "Grief is Important"
Debra had a good friend of hers read this at MargaretAnn's funeral.

It Will Change Your Life

By Dale Hanson Bourke

“Everyday Miracles – Holy Moments in a Mother’s Day” 1989

Time is running out for my friend. We are sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family. What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

"We’re taking a survey,” she says, half joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?” “It will change your life,” I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.

“I know,” she says. “No more sleeping in on Saturday, no more spontaneous vacations…” But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound to raw that she will be forever vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, “What if that had been my child?” That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will look at the mothers and wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think she should know that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will immediately reduce her to the primitive level of a she-bear protecting her cub.

That a slightly urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation. That the anger she will feel if that call came over a lost toy will be a joy she has never experienced.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might successfully arrange for childcare, but one day she will be waiting to go into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure he is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday routine decisions will no longer be routine. That a visit to McDonald’s and a five-year-old boy’s understandable desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the restroom.

I want her to know that however decisive she may be at the office, she will second guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same way about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not so much to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his.I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My friend’s relationship with her husband will change, I know; but not in the ways she thinks.; I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to always powder the baby or who never hesitates to play “bad guys” with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my modern friend could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my child's future. I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real that it hurts.

My friend’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
“You’ll never regret it,” I say finally. Then I reach across the table, and squeezing my friend’s hand, I offer a prayer for her and me land all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way in to this holiest of callings.

Debra Smith-Andersen CEO/Founder
margaretannsplace

My own daughter was born the day after Mother's Day, a miracle, a holy moment an experience I shall never regret. "Happy Mother's Day many blessings and peace to all of you."

Is a heroin overdose painful?

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 22:03:00 +0000

I really don't know the answer to that question all I know is that Jonathan is gone two and a half years today and I am "ANGRY" - I am angry that he really isn't coming home. He didn't just go off to college, he didn't travel the world, he hasn't called in a very long time; and the memory's are coming back, the painful one's of the day that changed my life as a mother forever!

A friend of mine were conversing the other day, what she said to me stunned me, as she has lost a child as well. I am grateful that we spoke that day. This is what she said.

Anger is part of the grief you feel, along with sadness, frustration and guilt. Those feelings are all normal and eventually the grief will fade and become part of who you are!

I hope someday soon, I will be far along enough in my journey to be able to take her words and apply them to my feelings. Right now, I don't want this to be part of who I am; I want my baby back, my son that wasn't meant to die. Maybe the answer is yes it is painful to overdose on heroin when a mother has to loose her son to a senseless accidental overdose. I would not wish this new journey I follow on anyone
_______________________________________________________________
I found this article and the link is below! The verb age is a tad bit raw, just saying, just in case.

All that I know on the subject I know first hand... I'm a recovering heroin addict, and have, on more than one occasion, overdosed. From pricking the skin, jacking it and then finally mainlining it you feel little pain... about six or seven seconds later a rapturous rush comes over you like never before amazing too amazing
It's at that point that you think

"Whoa... maybe I did a little too much..."

Unfortunately, that's all you have time to think... now what you don't know is that you've passed out from the drugs unrelenting assault on your entire system... soon your breathing will slow and eventually you're heart will stop.

Very, very painless "And then you're dead! Perfect and painless!" In fact the bliss that one would feel before they died of a heroin overdose would be immense not painful.

But let's roll back to right after you shot up and got that explosive rush:

One of your buddies showed up and saw you barely breathing on the bathroom floor..

Being the smart guy that he is, he called EMS and now they've got you in the back of the truck while they prep that' god-awful narcotic antagonist that's about to go it you. At this point you're still barely breathing, drawing shallow, gurgley breaths while drool dribbles out one side of your mouth. You're extremities have turned purple and hair is now completely matted down with sweat. It is now time for them to administer the shot. Within seconds you reawaken to find yourself in a state of utter confusion and sudden, horrendous agony. You're heart is racing and nausea sets in... As you spew vomit into the bucket the EMS has provided you, all the while the only thing going through your mind at this point is, "Holy Sh*t... I went from feeling amazing to truly wanting to die... how the H*LL did this happen?"

Honestly, that is the worst pain in the world when they bring you back from an overdose it's countering the effects of a drug that was made to treat the pains of certain amputees or grievously injured men during the war (a.k.a. morphine).

So, in conclusion, an overdose from heroin is not painful being revived most definitely is and if one should find themselves experiencing that pain they should consider themselves lucky! Credit to the above posting was found on WIKIANSWERS
Like I stated above, I would not wish this journey of mine on anyone. Mom's hug and talk to your kids. Kids, hug and talk to your mother, stay safe make good choices -- do the right thing. Peace to you my angel, Peace to you today!

“Because that is what I do.”

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 06:59:00 +0000

SPIDERS

There is a story about a kind, quiet man who went each morning to the river to refresh his spirit. One day while there, he saw a poisonous spider struggling in the water and he picked it up in his cupped hands a moved it to shore. As he placed it on the ground it stung him. Thankfully, the poison did not affect him lethally as it might have.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day, the kind man was knee deep in the river and, sure enough, there was the spider, legs frantic in the water. As the man went to lift the spider yet again, the spider said, “Why do you keep lifting me? Can’t you see that I will sting you every time, because that is what I do?” And the kind man cupped his hands around the spider lifting it back to safety, replying, “Because that is what I do.”

The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life ...
By Mark Nepo

Pain just and Opinion

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:10:00 +0000

Just an Opinion -
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.
People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts.

Feelings are disturbing.
People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.
Pain is meant to wake us up.

People try to hide their pain.
But they’re wrong.
Pain is something to carry, like a radio.

You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it.
That’s what matters.
Pain is a feeling.
Your feelings are a part of you.

"Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

"Jim Morrison"

Break on Through: The Life and Death of Jim Morrison

Thank you Chrystal

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:10:00 +0000

I remember when we spoke one day over 2 years ago maybe you don't remember me. That is okay! So many mother's with tears. I remember when my daughter attended your sons funeral and how sad she was, then just few month's later my daughter had to attend her brother's funeral.

I am sorry for your loss. I am grateful for all you have done to speak out about this horrific tragedy.

Gone to soon, they are all gone to soon!

Scroll down to read the rest of the story!

Visit Nick's website
Staring up at the new billboard she had installed on Milwaukee Avenue in Wheeling, Chrystal Beinlich starts to cry.

"If this doesn't get their attention, I don't know what will," the Lincolnshire mother says, as she wipes a tear off her cheek and a friend wraps an arm around her shoulder. "If we have to be in people's faces, we will."

The billboard, which went up Monday, urges parents to talk to their children about heroin and offers free drug-testing kits at nickbeinlich.com. It's Beinlich's latest effort to educate parents about heroin's growing presence in the suburbs, which has been her mission since her 18-year-old son, Nick, died of an overdose in 2007.

Getting parents' attention has been difficult and frustrating, she said, because of a prevalent not-my-kid mindset.

Parents took every precaution to protect their children from H1N1 swine flu, which killed 76 people statewide this year. Yet, heroin killed more than 100 people in the suburbs alone in 2009 and Beinlich said it seems as if hardly anyone blinked. Drug educational forums put on by several suburban high schools and police departments drew only a few dozen people each.

"There's blood running in the streets, but no one's paying attention. They just walk over it like it's a puddle," said Lea Minalga, a Geneva mom whose son is a recovering heroin addict. She now runs Hearts of Hope, a group that helps families deal with drug addiction. "I (tell parents), 'Do you understand that unless you're prepared, this could happen to you?' They think it can't happen to them, so they tune out."

The Rest of the Story!

Tribune Article Part II "The unrelenting power of Heroin

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 19:53:00 +0000

My son did not know! I did not know.

Do your children know how powerful Herion is an how available it is in your own backyard?
This is a sad situation, get yourself involved in your community, make a difference this coming new year!

"This is how powerful heroin is."Street Drugs A Drug Identification Guide

In September 2007, 18-year-old Nick Beinlich overdosed on it in the Buffalo Grove home of his Stevenson High School classmate Matt McGovern and never regained consciousness, dying five days later.

Four months later, River Forest police found McGovern in a shopping center parking lot, slumped over the steering wheel of his car with a needle dangling from his arm.

Just think about that. A friend essentially died in his house, and that didn't stop McGovern from using. It wasn't enough to scare him straight, wasn't enough to shame him straight, wasn't enough to force him to face his addiction.

A friend essentially died in his house, and yet, McGovern went back to heroin. Just think about that.

But the power of heroin didn't stop there.

In September 2008, another Stevenson friend of McGovern's, 18-year-old Phil Capone of Vernon Hills almost died of an overdose, saved only because his mother found him unconscious in time to summon medical help.

Then in April this year, another Stevenson friend, 19-year-old Eddie Sivkov of Buffalo Grove, died on the floor of his bathroom a few months after completing a two-week rehab program.

And two months after that, Lincolnshire police arrested McGovern and charged him with possession of heroin after an auto accident. The 20-year-old driver of the car in which McGovern was riding also was allegedly high on heroin.

Two months after a second friend had died. Less than a year after a third friend almost died. And if the police account is correct, McGovern was still on heroin.

If you're clean, you ask yourself, how could that be? Two high school friends die. Another almost dies. You're arrested once. With all of that happening, who in his right mind would still be using? How could that be?

The answer, unfortunately, is simple. Someone with a heroin addiction isn't in his right mind.

As Jamie Sotonoff's reports sharply described last week, we're facing an epidemic of heroin abuse in the suburbs and in our schools. And it's leaving death and shattered lives in its wake.

Much more needs to be done to combat it. More attention and more funding is needed to try to get addicts off it.

But as McGovern's story clearly illustrates, the most effective way to get off heroin is to never get on it in the first place.

That's a message our community and our schools and parents need to underscore ~ read the article

U Tube Pink Glove Fundraiser - Med Line Money Million Mark Mammograms

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 23:27:00 +0000

I thought I would share this a friend of my mine posted this on one of the forums I frequent ~

This is the note she posted.

"Our daughter-in-law, created, directed and choreographed this in Portland last week for her Med-line glove division as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. This was all her idea to help promote their new pink gloves. I don't know how she got so many employees, doctors and patients to participate, but it started to really catch on and they all had a lot of fun doing it.

When the video gets 1 million hits, Med-line will be making a huge contribution to the hospital, as well as offering free mammograms for the community. Please check it out. It's an easy and great way to donate to a wonderful cause, and who hasn't been touched by breast cancer?"

Enjoy your Thanksgiving Holiday!

Pink Glove Dance

If it makes me happy!

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:00:00 +0000

Waking up is happy & difficult to do, especially when you realize it will be almost two years since that horrific day that changed my life forever. I continue on this crazy ride of emotions from feeling very sad to very happy. (Not working in over 5 years doesn't make it easy either!)
No ~ I am not depressed, no I am still not crazy yet, and no I am not going through the change. Maybe just a tad slow to realize certain pieces of this puzzle.

WHO KNOWS! What the next year will bring.
Let me tell you what is is like for me, getting a double whammy smack me upside the head girlfriend slow down duh moment.

RESULTS ~
Whammy number #1
Thursday evening of this week the Bead Society of Greater Chicago had their annual election. Mind you I knew I was on the slate as I was nominated. I have been their Vice President of Programming for a year now. I had a lovely afternoon looking for a new facility to house our meetings with the current President. Actually, I had a lovely afternoon circling O'Hare airport while she scoped the new place. I shall admit one of my minor flaws is giving the gas companies more money; I got lost again. I tell ya, I just have no sense of East, West, North, South.

Whammy #2
Back in June of this year I decided to join in on the juried collaboration project together with
Michigan Glass Beadmakers Guild to create a piece with a Jewelry Designer I had never met, as I am a member of Glass Act another organization that is non-profit in MI.

Ladies and Gentlemen the votes have been counted and the results are in.

Whammy #2
The piece that was entered in the jury show took 3rd place YAY!
Whammy #1
What will the future bring!

Sheryl Crow seemed to sum up my feelings best ~

"I've been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquito's,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimos rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's corset and pen

Well, o.k. I made this up
I promised you I'd never give up

[Chorus]
If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?"

Sad, not really ~ just a little dumb struck.

The Bead Society of Greater Chicago ~
Join, have fun, meet new peeps, share your stories!

Whether it be a grief group, beading group, reading group, on line forum ~ any group!
It's thearpy for me - That's what makes me happy today!

This is going to be a lot of work as a volunteer position, but down the road this will be good for me, having a job ~ keeping me busy. This is what I can do for me. To make my days go by with more happiness, I think!

PS: if you are in the local area, - join volunteer, let's make some history for the love of beads!

Edited: Update on positition of my presidency position of the Bead Society of Greater Chicago - I resigned before the new year.

The why does not matter if it makes me happy it can't be that bad; in life you have to take care of you.

A Hug Certificate for You!

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:59:00 +0000

She wrote to me : LET'S SEE WHO READS THEIR EMAIL

A Hug Certificate for You!

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.

This is a Hug Certificate!!

Send One to All Your Friends Who You Think Deserve A Hug
(Which, Hopefully Includes the Person Who Sent It to You).

You might send it to your enemies as well!
It'll really tic 'em off!

If you receive this back 2 times . You're off to a good start,
Unless you sent it to yourself. That's cheating!
If you receive this back 3 times. You're a good friend.

If you receive this back 4 times
..... You are popular I wanna be just like you.
If you are busy or do not forward items, I understand,
you are still my good friend.

If you receive this back 5 times or more,
There are angels watching over you..

Life is a coin, you can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my parents never told me

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 12:35:00 +0000

my parents never told me ~

there is a time to grieve
there is a time to breathe
there is a time to wake up
there is a time to go to bed

there is no time to listen to someone tell you when are you going to just STOP!

no, no, no, no, no it won't just stop ~ it will be with you forever
that's why I have such good friends who like to poke me

Grief Support After the Death of a Child

“The Compassionate Friends is about transforming the pain of grief into the elixir of hope. It takes people out of the isolation society imposes on the bereaved and lets them express their grief naturally. With the shedding of tears, healing comes. And the newly bereaved get to see people who have survived and are learning to live and love again.”
—Simon Stephens, founder of The Compassionate Friends

just type in your zip code after clicking on here ---------> -xxxxxx

black elk

noreply@blogger.com (vonna) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:31:00 +0000

Found a card in my mailbox today from a woman I admire so very much.

"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss."

Credit - CL's Kids cards 2009 collection - created by Primary School Students on the Pine Ridge Reservation.

Nicholas Black Elk a famous Wichasha Wakan (Medicine Man or Holy Man) He participated at about the age of twelve in the Battle of Little Big Horn of 1876, and was wounded in the massacre that occurred at Wounded Knee in 1890.

I am attending the Drug Forum at the Buffalo Grove High School this evening, but the way things are panning out in the news lately ~

WHO is listening to the children?

JdMacHope

I wish you peace.

When Families Grieve "A different way to look at grief!"

Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte

November is National Adoption Awareness Month

Author Unknown

Grief it's Complicated OCT 27, 2010

NEWS FLASH! No Child shall be left behind!

Courage, Change & Acceptance

A thought while writing the book.

Eric Carle's Dragons Dragons & Other Creatures That Never Were.

A poem for my children who are still here.

Poems for the People - Poems by the People

"The Myth of Getting Over It." Steven Kalas

Blog Post for May 17, 2010

“Everyday Miracles – Holy Moments in a Mother’s Day"

Is a heroin overdose painful?

“Because that is what I do.”

Pain just and Opinion

Thank you Chrystal

Gone to soon, they are all gone to soon!

Tribune Article Part II "The unrelenting power of Heroin

U Tube Pink Glove Fundraiser - Med Line Money Million Mark Mammograms

If it makes me happy!

A Hug Certificate for You!

my parents never told me

Grief Support After the Death of a Child

black elk

Children Learn What They Live  By Dorothy Law Nolte