Janana Bee

Welcome!

2009-11-09T00:00:00.002-05:00

Welcome to all the visiting SITStas! If you aren't familiar with SITS, it is a great program for bloggers to support other bloggers. It's a great way to find new blogs, and possibly meet a friend in the process.

My name is Janna, and I am a Mom of two of the sweetest ~~and most frustrating~~ boys, Drew and Jacob (or as I sometimes refer to him, Mr. Calamity) and wife to an awesome husband, Mr. Bee. I love my life ~~most of the time~~, but I'm someone that will vent on her blog. I hope you can laugh along with me at life's silly little imperfections. I can be quite silly or raunchy and sometimes I swear. Just a warning. I tend to write about whatever topic comes to mind, but often it is about parenting and my children, or sometimes I like to write about silly pop culture news.

Now for some gratuitous pictures of my boys:

Drew is 4 1/2.
Jacob turned 2 last month.

I have been blogging since 2006 and consequently have ~~way too many~~ a lot of posts, so I had such a hard time picking out three posts that best represented my blog. I hope you like the ones I picked. If you like them, and want to read more of my favorite posts, go ahead and look in My Favorite Posts tab for more. Also, if you are interested in finding more good reads, check out my Blog Roll! I also have a tab for items related to Pop Culture or Entertainment Posts, Photography Related Posts and Posts about my two boys, Jacob and Drew. You can find out more about me on my About Me tab. Here are my three posts:

Geeks Are Underrated

I Know I'm a Mom Because...

The Secret Eating Habits of the Bees

Thanks for coming to visit.... let me leave you with a picture of what I would have baked if you were coming to visit my house... oh, who am I kidding, I don't bake. You would have gotten Chips Ahoy.

Heck, I didn't even take the picture, this person did:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dongkwan/ / CC BY 2.0

Hmm... that picture is making me hungry... I'm off to go eat some of my children's Halloween candy!

Time keeps on Slippin', slippin', slippin... into the future

2009-11-07T22:20:00.006-05:00

Is it possible? Is my baby now a little boy? Check this out:

November 2008:

November 2009:

So bittersweet... and so exciting. That's my boy.

Elmo Emergency Part Two

2009-11-05T20:32:00.000-05:00

One of the great things about having a second child is getting to see the differences in your children's personality. Everything about Jacob and Drew is different.... including their taste in toys. Toys that Drew never gave a second glance to, Jacob loves.

This is most evident in Jacob's new favorite toy, Elmo knows your name. Drew got this elmo for his first birthday from his wonderful Aunt Amber, who programmed it for us with Drew's name, likes and dislikes... and so forth. Drew never really got into it, or Elmo for that matter. Flash forward 4 years.... and suddenly this neglected toy is Jacob's favorite toy. The boy can't stop playing with it, which was great, except for one thing.

Elmo kept calling him Drew.

Jacob was okay with Elmo's strange fixation with talking about what Drew likes, and who he loves Elmo told Jacob that Elmo loves Mommy, and Jacob looked at me like I was the coolest person ever, because, gasp, I know Elmo! And Elmo loves me! Elmo also loves Drew, Daddy, Grandma, Mac and Cheese, but no Jacob. In a word, this was just sad. Of course, being the organized Mom that I am, I spent an hour looking for the disc to reprogram Elmo to Love Jacob before I realized I must have tossed it or it was in the depths of the basement. Thankfully, Mattel has a dowload available on their website. I managed to find the USB cable (thank goodness I never throw those away, even though I curse myself whenever I am trying to navigate a drawer full of cords).

Next I had to find a way to sneak Elmo away from Jacob's grasp. I waited until I heard Elmo stop talking in his room. I tiptoed in and grabbed Elmo quickly, and backed away from the crib slowly with him behind my back, praying I would not bump him against something.

That is how much of the silly little post I had typed last night and then....

....I try and download Jacob's name onto Elmo. Instead of working, it makes Elmo malfunction. Apparently this was an issue with this toy that I never encountered because my sister programmed it. Now instead of having a toy Jacob loves that calls him Drew and sings songs to him, Jacob has a silent Elmo doll. This would be fine if he wasn't expecting Elmo to sing and talk to him. Normally, I don't get all bent out of shape over a broken toy, but the way that boy loved and got so much joy out of that toy, well it has made me completely irrational.

The worst part is that there is no compareable replacement, no online help, no patch, no nothing. How can I explain this to a two year old? How does Fisher Price expect people to deal with this? Thanks for leaving me hanging, asshats! It's one thing if he never had the toy, but to have it and love it for a week and then poof, it's gone? Well, it did not go over well tonight when he cried non-stop for Elmo to sing to him and I had to tell him he couldn't, and realize it was my fault and I broke it. Moms are supposed to fix things, not break them.

I don't know if it's stress or not feeling well or plain exhaustion at trying to do a million things at once, but I am getting to be ridiculously stressed out about this mess. Let's not mention the fact that I have spent over 5 hours trying to fix the stupid doll, because it only gives me another reason to cry.

Man, I think I need a Vacation. Even a Staycation would do right now. When Elmo almost sends me over the edge it's time to get away.

Thanks for letting me vent. I needed it. Also, Fisher Price? You are on notice along with Daylight Savings Time. I'm boycotting you for Christmas. So- there- feel the burn of my $39.99.

Elmo Emergency. Part One.

2009-11-04T22:51:00.006-05:00

I was in the midst of writing a really cute post when I had an Elmo emergency. I am way too tired to go into right now. I want to kick the ass of the guy at Fischer Price who decided to discontinue Elmo Knows your Name Dolls. I will explain more tomorrow, let's just say that I have been messing with a farking Elmo doll all night and I probably will have a crying two year old on my hands tomorrow.... This sucks.
Damnit.

My November Playlist

2009-11-03T20:02:00.007-05:00

This is what I am enjoying the most this month in music. Check them out.

Go It Alone, Beck
Rebirth Of Slick (Cool Like Dat), Digable Planets
Vocab, Fugees
Working Class Hero, Green Day
In My Heart, Moby
It Takes Two, Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock
Meet Me On the Equinox, Death Cab for Cutie
Kids With Guns, Gorillaz
Just, Radiohead
Munich, Editors
Daft Punk Is Playing At My House, LCD Soundsystem
No Way, The Breeders
Huddle Formation, The Go! Team
Something Is Not Right With Me, Cold War Kids
Islands On The Coast, Band Of Horses

Screw You, Daylight Savings Time

2009-11-02T20:01:00.005-05:00

My 5am this morning...... (in the form of a play script)

Jacob: Wah! Wah! Wah!

Janna: Tosses and turns before finally sighing and getting out of bed. She stumbles on a toy truck, curses under her breath, and stubs her toe on a storage chest in the very dark room. Finally she makes it to Jacob's room. She leans over the crib. What, Jacob?

Jacob: Whine, whine tepeeksjehd,

Janna: Picks up Jacob and holds him. What?

Jacob: Squirms. Whine nbsoohlyehd, whine....

Janna: Jacob, what do you want? You know I don't speak whine!

Meanwhile, Drew's door opens.....c r e a k!

Janna: EVERYONE, it is still night time. Everyone will lay in their beds until I say it is not nighttime any longer. GOODNIGHT.

Drew: Scurries back to his room.

Jacob: Stops squirming. Whine.... hmph.

Janna: Sets Jacob down as gently as possible in his crib in the dark. She runs back to her bedroom, closes the door and hides underneath the covers for another hour, until the alarm goes off.

THE END
~~~~~~~~~~

Just so you know, daylight savings time? You are on notice for that hour.

Halloweenie: In Two Parts

2009-11-01T19:26:00.010-05:00

Part 1: The Police Station Visit

Drew testing out a radar gun.

Jakey's excited about the Police Van.

It's not the Batmobile, but the police car will have to do.

Curious George on the lam.

Not pictured: McGruff the crime dog scaring the bejesus out of Jakey. Also, me hightailing it out of a jail cell when the officer offered to lock us inside so we could see what it's like to be locked up. I'm hoping I never have to experience that, for real or for pretend pretenses.

Part 2: Trick or Treating, Mall Style

Enough pictures, now to get candy!

Portrait taken by Drew. Hmmm... do you suppose we always look this way to them? I think Mr. Bee was Halloweened-out at this point!

After the mall trick-or-treating, we arrived home,. The children got completely buzzed on sugar and then had a sugar shock-paranoia induced comedown, which involved Drew asking why we stole his sticker ("where is the picture? It's BLANK!") when he just needed to turn it over, and calling me into the bathroom to ask me to make sure no one was messing with his Trick or Treat bag while he was pooping. Jacob, who is not used to any sugar or candy was a wreck most of the rest of the day, chanting "Canny Corn" and velcroing himself to my leg.

As with all of the Holidays, I was relieved and sad when the day was through. Everything seems stressful and then it's over so quickly! I hope you all enjoyed your Halloween, too.

Also, I'm going to try and do Nablopomo again this year. If I make it past the first week I will be shocked. Anyway, I will try to do this as long as my content doesn't go way down the tubes. Sorry to clog up your Google Reader, it's just for this month, I swear.

Swine Flu for Me and You? Well no, not you, Drew

2009-10-30T08:16:00.008-04:00

Yesterday I was embroiled in controversy. Well, this ~~definitely is~~ may be an overstatement. My four year old son, Drew got his H1N1 vaccination, or as some would say, we protected him against the Swine flu. (Hopefully the pork council won't hunt me down for calling it that.)

After much careful deliberation (reading what little information I could find on the Internet about the vaccine), I asked my co-worker what she would do if she were me. My co-worker always has advice for me, and it usually is great advice being as her previous job involved working with children in a social worker-type- role, even if the advice is mostly unsolicited. Yes, after all the information I read, I based my decision to get Drew's shot based on my co-worker's feelings, because I felt so mushy and turned around I wasn't sure what to do, and after reading about the shortage of seasonal flu vaccines all around our city, I felt he definitely needed some protection, like NOW.

I rushed out of work to go pick up Drew and hurried him to the Middle School where they were having the clinic. Pulling in, I noticed two cop cars, and policeman patrolling the entrance to the parking lot, where I had to talk to a volunteer, who told me to "park anywhere". Wow, her job was necessary.

We parked, and Drew started to saunter towards the line. "No, Drew-bear, let's walk extra fast- can you do it?" Being the total asshat I am, I sped walked my way in front of a few people who were taking their time walking up to the line that stretched out past the courtyard and spilled out onto the sidewalk by the parking lot. In my defense, I had to urinate this whole time.

As we were waiting in line, policeman patrolled the area. I'm not sure if they thought people were going to start freaking out and frothing at the mouth, like in zombie movies. I mean, for god's sakes, it's just children in stroller and parents. There were large signs all over courtyard that if you had flu symptoms (Fever and cough/or sore throat) you could not come into the facility. Loud speakers announced this as well and could be heard throuought the courtyard. It felt like we were waiting in line for the worst Disney World ride ever. Immediately I felt the need to cough, and was worried that the policemen would come over and take me out of line for coughing in which case I would have to drop to the ground and scream "My baby! My baby needs this shot, please, officer you have to help me!" (Or not.) The whole scene was like something out of a Roland Emmerich movie. I felt all valiant that I was saving my son, even if I wasn't going to make it, at least for a second, and then I remembered I was in real life, and real life is not as exciting or dangerous.

We were finally allowed to enter the school after a quick screening of Drew's eligibility (thank goodness Drew is tiny, I thought, and no questions about his age), and I had to sit and speak with another volunteer about when Drew's last flu shot was (hadn't had one yet) and so they told me he could get the flu mist). Of course I had a million questions for her, which she didn't want to answer or didn't know.

Next, we waited in another line. Drew started to whine, a four year can only be patient for so long! I told him he could play with my Ipod, then realized it was in my car. Then I told him he could have a piece of gum, which was dirty, so I had to take that away as well. Then I promised him candy corn at home. That satisfied him. Bribery, my favorite parenting skill.

Drew and I entered the cafeteria, i.e., crying central, and two shoots up the nose later, and no tears (!) we were finished. It took about an hour, and when we left the building, there was no line- it just figures, right?

We went back to school to pick up Jacob, you know, my unprotected son. Unprotected against the swine flu, but protected against seasonal flu. This way they can't cross-contaminate each other or something.

Once we arrived home, I was so happy to see our bathroom. Near tears, myself actually. THE END.

Conclusion?

The thing that bothers me most about this vaccination and the clinics is the lack of information out there about these clinics, and the weird rules that are spelled out and not spelled out for everyone. Drew is 4, but he will be 5 in January. Are they trying to tell me that because of these 3 months he is high risk and should not be turned away, unlike the 5 year old boy I saw turned away yesterday?

Also, there needs to be more information on H1N1 Flu mist vs. H1N1 Flu shot. My two year son, Jacob received the seasonal flu mist, so now he is not eligible to get the H1N1 shot for another month. Drew received the Flu Mist for H1N1, but he can get a flu Shot, just not the seasonal flu mist. What?!? I am also not excited about the fact that the flu mist contains a live virus, vs. the flu shot which contains the dead virus. Again, my information on this topic is all internet hearsay, so I have no idea of knowing what this means.

We cannot forget about the fact that Drew will need a second shot, also, which Drew have to wait ANOTHER month for, that is, if that shot becomes available, and the people I talked to at this clinic don't think it will. Don't worry, though, the one shot is "better than nothing" I was told. I understand that this is a new virus, and we are learning as we go (scary thought) but there really should be a collective way we are receiving and understanding the different shots, how they react with one another, and the location of any and all local clinics.

PS Thank you to all of the volunteers. For all my joking, everything ran very smoothly and all the volunteers were wonderful, and very friendly.

PSS Drew is doing absolutely fine today.

I think this signals the end of "The Courtship" Phase of our relationship....

2009-10-29T07:00:00.001-04:00

When I first starting dating Mr. Bee, he brought me flowers for every occasion and sometimes just because. Of course, I dated broke-ass students before Mr. Bee, and he was older, and more mature (but not mature enough to frown upon my rite-of-passage-big-ten-college-binge-drinking, thank goodness) and I totally swooned over a boy who was able to buy me ANYTHING, much less flowers all of the time. My sister's first words to me when I gushed over these flowers was: "enjoy it now, because it will never last". I thought she was totally wrong. Mr. Bee would always bring me flowers.

We moved in together after a little under a year of dating, and being 21, I was still in the binge-drinking through the week heyday of getting cab rides home and puking up vodka and cranberry juice concoctions, which is not a pretty picture. During the time Mr. Bee was commuting for me, so I could go to school and he could work at his new job. Still, he was ever so patient, and while there weren't flowers all of the time, there were the thoughtful gestures. (Holding my hair back until 2am when he had to be at work at 6am? He had the patience of a saint!) I can't even begin to tell you how often he would pick my loaded friends and me, and laugh along with us, even though he must have been annoyed.

Then we got married. We were husband and wife, and Mr. Bee, being an understanding husband, accepted the fact that I could not find a steady full time job because I sucked at interviews. He went and saw chick flicks willingly with me, and we lovingly talked about when we would start a family. In turn, I eventually found a steady, albeit low paying, job.

After about three months of trying, I found out I was pregnant. We were both nervous (heck, I was a wreck, and I stress-ate to compensate), but Mr. Bee put on a brave face, and lied and told me I looked pretty as I went on to gain 55 lbs. After Drew was born, I was grumpy, puffy and tired, but he told me how beautiful I looked and I actually believed him. I'm not sure who was more delusional at that point.

Our second child was a surprise as it happened so quickly. Still, we were very excited, and Mr. Bee was patient, if not as helpful with the other pregnancy. After all, we had another child to take care of and he couldn't hold my hand through the whole pregnancy as he had before. I had found a new, higher paying job, and money wasn't tight. We did a lot of shopping and went to restaurants often, which was a relief, as I discovered I really hated cooking in our outdated kitchen.

After Jacob was born, Mr. Bee started a stressful change in jobs, and the stress was dully noted by me. There was little in the way of magic or babymooning the second time around. (Babymoon: The period after your child is born that you are both so in love and happy that little stresses matter less. This lasted about 1 month with Drew and about 2 days with Jacob.) Restaurant and shopping trips stopped as we had neither the money or the patience to deal with two children out at a mall. Oh, I also outlawed red roses at our house. How cliche! (Not that I was getting a lot of flowers.) So now I get plants, on the appropriate day. No suprizes.

Did I notice any of these changes at the time? No, it was subtle, and I think, a part of our relationship maturing. I am no longer being courted or coddled, those days are (sadly- I did enjoy them) over. I came to this conclusion after another argument about what movies to watch, and I remarked that his taste in movies had gone downhill. "No," he replied, "[my taste in movies] hasn't changed at all." In other words, yes, it took me 10 years to realize that husband never really liked girly movies at all, he just watched them to appease me. Don't poke fun at me, as I am not the only person living in a bubble; when he insisted that I liked the movie Wolverine and I insisted that I thought that it was really stupid, I realized that he still hasn't realized I don't like action movies.

There are still many sweet moments in our life... Mr. Bee still will get up and get me ice water after I decide I want one when he gets one for himself, even though I have two perfectly good legs. I am planning on watching GI Joe on Blu-ray when it comes out for him, and he in turn will watch The Proposal for me. (Well, he will watch that because Mr. Bee has a thing for Sandra Bullock, much like his love for Hugh Grant.) I will still work furiously to get stains out of his clothes, and he will still make the bed for me (he makes it so much nicer than I do). I will still make him Chili, even though I hate cooking and tolerate Chili, and he will still make french toast on Saturdays mornings because I love it so much. We do these things because we love each other and we know it will make the other person happy. We are not trying to impress, just trying to make each other's lives better. That's the difference.

Now, can someone remind of this blog post before I have to watch The Matrix for the 4,000th time?

In the heyday of our courtship phase. Oh mah God, We look like Behbees!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: (Kind of) Red

2009-10-28T00:01:00.002-04:00

I went for a change in hair color. What do you think? Drew is obviously excited about it.

For more wordless Wednesday, Visit Five Minutes for Mom,and Ordinary and Awesome

My Google Reader Taunts Me

2009-10-22T15:39:00.007-04:00

No matter how hard I try to keep up, I can't keep up with my Google Reader. I hate leaving any job unfinished, I do, but I just think I am fighting a losing battle. I don't know how so many people have so much to say with only 26 letters in the alphabet. The possibilities must end at some point, right? Isn't there a finite amount any blogger can write about? I am flabbergasted by the amount of posts some bloggers can churn out, and how funny or poignant or interesting they are, and here I am, still discussing my children's poop fetishes.

So, yeah, you could say I'm in a wee bit of a creative slump. It's only a mild case of writer's block, I hope. I think this slump means I need to go out and experience some things instead of reading these things in my Google Reader. So for the next couple of weeks, I might not be the bestest bloggy buddy ever (I'll still visit, just not as often), but my content will get better (hopefully?!?), and for those of you who are a slave to your Google Reader as I am will be thankful in the long run (again-hopefully?!?).

I leave you with this picture and caption which I have circulated in Facebook and Twitter (am I really stealing material from myself? I would say it's a new low, but I have done it many times before....)

Batman... or Cowboy/Lumberjack? You decide!

PS- 60 minutes into this experiment of less computer time I have done laundry and opened mail. And then updated my post. WOOT there's some blogging material.

Dear Jacob,

2009-10-19T00:01:00.001-04:00

For you I have watched dozens of episodes of Elmo's World, cut up countless slices of pickles, let you spit out food into my hand because you bit off too much to chew, pick your boogers, and read Ten Little Fish over and over again. For you I have listened to Dr. Worm numerous times, sang Twinkle Twinkle, and Ba Ba Black Sheep (with made up lyrics because I can't remember them). For you I have given too many hugs and kisses to count, kissed thousands of boo-boos and tucked you in almost every night. For you I promise to love you unconditionally, even those times when we don't get along, see eye to eye, or even when you don't like me. Even when you're in High School and your room smells like a dirty sweat sock, I will still love you, I promise.

In return, you will always be my baby at age two or age forty-two. Sorry, it's a package deal.

My life changed so much when you came into this world two years ago today, it became 100 times crazier, but 10,000 times more enjoyable and interesting. Thank you for filling my life with laughter and joy.

I love you Jakey, more than I can ever express in a letter. Happy 2nd Birthday.
Love, Mommy

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Reason #1,236 why Facebook makes me feel stabby:

2009-10-15T20:49:00.007-04:00

TMI status updates.

Now, please excuse me while I go gouge my eyes out with a dull No. 2 Pencil.

Gah! Blaurgh! Pshaw!

2009-10-14T20:57:00.001-04:00

I know, I know, I know! I've been a bad blogger lately.
I have a reason/excuse- I am busy getting ready for Jacob's Birthday. That's right, my little munchkin is turning 2! I can hardly believe it myself. I know I've been calling him 2 for a while, that's because he seems like a 3 year old to me with his expansive vocabulary. At this rate, he'll surpass my mental capacities by age 8. I can't believe how much he has grown, although at the same time it's hard to remember him this little:

Fun Fact: It's corny, but Moms really do believe in love at first sight.

I will hopefully be back with more funny soon, that is, if I am not busy scrubbing my whole house down with a toothbrush. (I get neurotic when guests come over to my house for parties, even when it is a small get together- of course some of you already know this.)

Venting it out

2009-10-08T14:37:00.004-04:00

I must confess, I am letting someone get to me. I am trying to let it go. I am trying not to be upset. So far I am doing a good job (I made a promise to myself not to shed a tear because of this person's actions, I am so proud of myself that this time I haven't let the waterworks loose), but it is still in the corner of my mind, lingering. It's putting a damper on my day to day activities. You know that feeling when something isn't right- even though everything should be fine and you can't put your finger on it? That is exactly how I feel right now. That is the way this person made me feel.

Yet, I know I didn't do anything wrong. The fact that I stood up for myself and did it in a mature, honest manner should put my mind at ease. I can only answer for myself and my actions and no one else. Unfortunately I am still thinking about it, and this person's actions are still affecting me. I just don't like it when people don't like me, and this person obviously doesn't like me, and chose to act out on it in a strange, passive-aggressive way.

Don't worry about me, I will get over it, I always do, eventually. It's just a very toxic relationship that I have to deal with, and I know from experience it just takes a couple of weeks to fade.

So please bear with me for this melodramatic post. Also bear with me if I have been distant lately, I have a lot on my mind right now. Sorry I am being so cryptic, I have to be though. If you are reading this- it's not you.

The good news is- I am still healthy, and the kids are getting better. Mr. Bee is another story. (Why didn't he go to the Doctor when I told him he should?) All that hand washing, orange juice and water are working, although I am spending a LOT of time in the potty (Momspeak for Bathroom).

The sickness in my house and anger in my mind should leave by next week. (A girl can hope, right?)

A Walking Bullseye

2009-10-07T08:45:00.003-04:00

Yesterday Drew had a fever. He also had a cough, was lethargic and didn't want to eat. Under the advice of my husband, we took the little man and the littler man (who was exhibiting similar symptoms) to the Doctor.

After waiting in a 7 X 7 foot room with one chair with all of the Bees for over an hour, we saw the Doctor. The test (which involves sticking the world's biggest q-tip up my children's noses, which amounted to lots of tears) was positive almost immediately for Influenza A. I only had to look to my left to my husband to know where they caught it.

So now I am the only healthy one in my flu ridden family. My flu ridden family that has to stay away from healthy people for 5-7 days so that others don't catch it- this includes school. (Goodbye Vacation time!)

So,
I am drinking lots of orange juice and water.
I am taking my vitamins.
I am getting lots of rest.
It's okay for the rest of the family to be sick, they don't do the bills, the laundry, the grocery shopping, make dinners. I do. Plus I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to fevers. Not Mr. Bee whiny, but pretty close. It will not be a pretty picture if I get sick.

Think healthy thoughts for me, okay?

Not Me Monday: El Sicko Edition

2009-10-05T08:00:00.001-04:00

I solemnly swear I did NOT do these things last Week:

I did NOT gloat at all when I kicked butt at scrabble this weekend: I beat the runner up by 50 points! (This is NOT the product getting all the big letters- and of many hours of playing scrabulous on Facebook- no, NOT at all!)

I did NOT whine about a face rash the end part of the week and all weekend that no one could see but could feel. It started to get better, than I had an outbreak before work this morning; this did NOT make me think I might be allergic to work.

I did NOT stay up too late on Saturday night watching the movie, Adventureland. I did NOT stay up too late all freaked out after watching the movie, Knowing, on Sunday. Consequently I am NOT ridiculously tired to start my workweek.

I did NOT debate with Mr. Bee during Adventureland about who was cooler, Dane Cook or Ryan Reynolds. (FTW- Ryan Reynolds- he married Scarlett Johansen, while Dean Cook was in Employee of the Month with Jessica Simpson. No contest!) This was NOT the dumbest debate ever.

I was totally NOT annoyed by Mr. Bee's sickness this week. I did NOT bitch about how annoying Mr. Bee is when he is sick.

I did NOT get a lecture from my son Drew for leaving my library book out when we were cleaning.

My son Jacob was NOT so ridiculously adorable with his catch phrases this weekend. My favorites were "I'm a bouy!" and "I'm nak3d!" which he says in a surprised fashion while pointing to his chest.

We did NOT let Jacob open a gift for his birthday two weeks early, consequently I was not ridiculously pleased at how much he love his stuffed animal- named appropriately "Puppy Dog". Poor Jacob is the "hand me down" kid- he was so happy to have something that was actually his and his alone.

I did NOT forget to take any pictures this week, leaving me to take this picture of Drew with my Cell phone, because I was totally NOT too lazy to upload pictures from my camera.

I did NOT have to say- "open your eyes, Drew, open your eyes" to get this picture.

I also did NOT promise Tina I would post about her Fundraiser/Giveaways for this month to bring awareness to Breast Cancer. It is NOT a great idea, so please do NOT go check it out!

This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Cure JM Awareness Day

2009-10-02T03:01:00.003-04:00

Before I read Kevin's Blog, I had never even heard of juvenile myositis. I was shocked to see what a debilitating, life threatening disease this can be. Therefore, when Kevin contacted me, I knew I wanted to participate and make people aware of this disease, as his blog had done for me.

Kevin of Always Home and Uncool has asked me to post this as part of his effort to raise awareness in the blogosphere of juvenile myositis, a rare autoimmune disease his daughter was diagnosed with on this day seven years ago. The day also happens to be his wife's birthday.

(Happy Birthday, Rhonda!)

**********

Our pediatrician admitted it early on.

The rash on our 2-year-old daughter's cheeks, joints and legs was something he'd never seen before.

The next doctor wouldn't admit to not knowing.

He rattled off the names of several skins conditions -- none of them seemingly worth his time or bedside manner -- then quickly prescribed antibiotics and showed us the door.

The third doctor admitted she didn't know much.

The biopsy of the chunk of skin she had removed from our daughter's knee showed signs of an "allergic reaction" even though we had ruled out every allergy source -- obvious and otherwise -- that we could.

The fourth doctor had barely closed the door behind her when, looking at the limp blonde cherub in my lap, she admitted she had seen this before. At least one too many times before.

She brought in a gaggle of med students. She pointed out each of the physical symptoms in our daughter:

The rash across her face and temples resembling the silhouette of a butterfly.

The purple-brown spots and smears, called heliotrope, on her eyelids.

The reddish alligator-like skin, known as Gottron papules, covering the knuckles of her hands.

The onset of crippling muscle weakness in her legs and upper body.

She then had an assistant bring in a handful of pages photocopied from an old medical textbook. She handed them to my wife, whose birthday it happened to be that day.

This was her gift -- a diagnosis for her little girl.

That was seven years ago -- Oct. 2, 2002 -- the day our daughter was found to have juvenile dermatomyositis, one of a family of rare autoimmune diseases that can have debilitating and even fatal consequences when not treated quickly and effectively.

Our daughter's first year with the disease consisted of surgical procedures, intravenous infusions, staph infections, pulmonary treatments and worry. Her muscles were too weak for her to walk or swallow solid food for several months. When not in the hospital, she sat on our living room couch, propped up by pillows so she wouldn't tip over, as medicine or nourishment dripped from a bag into her body.

Our daughter, Thing 1, Megan, now age 9, remembers little of that today when she dances or sings or plays soccer. All that remain with her are scars, six to be exact, and the array of pills she takes twice a day to help keep the disease at bay.

What would have happened if it took us more than two months and four doctors before we lucked into someone who could piece all the symptoms together? I don't know.

I do know that the fourth doctor, the one who brought in others to see our daughter's condition so they could easily recognize it if they ever had the misfortune to be presented with it again, was a step toward making sure other parents also never have to find out.

That, too, is my purpose today.

It is also my birthday gift to my wife, My Love, Rhonda, for all you have done these past seven years to make others aware of juvenile myositis diseases and help find a cure for them once and for all.

To read more about children and families affected by juvenile myositis diseases, visit Cure JM Foundation at www.curejm.org.

To make a tax-deductible donation toward JM research, go to www.firstgiving.com/rhondaandkevinmckeever or
www.curejm.com/team/donations.htm.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K

2009-09-29T22:00:00.000-04:00

This Month in strange events and funny happenings from around the world, and in the Bee's world....

Awww... Kirk, really? Kirk Cameron's claims about Darwin's theory of evolution being false makes me even more embarrassed that he was my first crush.

Did you know when I would write WTF, I was referring to Wisconsin Tourism? Well, not anymore.

My kids are totally losing in the cutest kids contest. I know what you are thinking- how is this possible? They are so cute! Well, you can vote and change this- on the left hand sidebar of the blog, there is a voting spot. (Jacob is #16 on the baby one, Drew is #8 on the kid one.)

One of my blogging friends looks like a barbie. No, really.

My Nonnie (Grandma) totally schooled one of my Facebook friends:

Did I tell you how awesome my Nonnie is? I hope I am half as cool as her when I am a Great Grandma.

TLC decided to change name of series from Jon and Kate plus Eight to Kate Plus Eight. You have taken a step in the right direction, TLC, by getting rid of the DOUCHE. Now, how about getting rid of the ~~media circus~~ show altogether?

Ellen on Idol? This is late, but what???

Oh yeah, and there is the whole issue of the deer that decided to run into my Bessie. With all the Bees in the car. Luckily no one was hurt, I mean, except the deer.

Don't worry, I bought Ernie to soften the blow.

Hahaha, it wouldn't be funny if it weren't so true. Wait, did I say funny? {Sob}

My fahrty, bug-tattooed, spaghetti-sauce-body-paintin' boys: A Not My Child Monday Edition

2009-09-27T21:08:00.008-04:00

** Hey, can you go vote for my boys in the Cutest Baby/Kids/Pet contest? Go visit Baby Makin(g) Machine and vote for them in the left hand column- Jacob is #16 under cutest baby, and Drew is #8 under cutest kid. It's easy to do-just go vote please! Also, please check out the March of Dimes raffle she is hosting- there are a LOT of great prizes- The button is on the left side of my blog.**

The Bees decided to brave a new frontier this weekend-going to see a movie in prime time. (Small aside- um never again- they wanted to make us pay $26.50 for the four of us! I looked at the clerk and said to her- "My son is under 2- do we really need to pay 6.50 for him to see the movie?" The answer was no- fortunately, and he got in free.) We went to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (side note- adorable, definitely a must see for families with young children). I was impressed with my children's behavior, especially Jacob, who, as a 23 month old, sat still the whole movie, giggling and clapping, even saying "oh no!" in his adorable voice. We were very proud of him, and he totally did NOT say "I fahrted, Daddy", in his cute little voice during a quiet scene. My older son, Drew did NOT actually fart really loud, the sound accentuated by the hard plastic of the booster chair.

After the movie, Drew did NOT beg to put a temporary tattoo on his arm of a bug until we finally gave in. (Because we NEVER give in on things just to quiet our children down, nope, NOT us.)

I hope this child looks at his first born as lovingly as he did this tattoo.

Jacob did NOT run away and cry in fear of the big bug on Drew's arm. Of course the Mommarazzi was there to take the picture of him running.
Then, the next day I cooked a big spaghetti dinner for Sunday night- Jacob did NOT use the spaghetti sauce for body paint, nope, not at all!

For these reasons, I was NOT excited for bath night tonight. No, I really mean that, although I guess you could say I was excited for the outcome of the bath night. Mr. Bee gave them a bath, which was NOT a total relief. I so did NOT give Mr. Bee a big smooch when I saw that he had managed to rub that bug tattoo off. Score +10 points for Mr. Bee!

This blog carnival was created by MckMama.Go head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Teh Winners!

2009-09-25T08:00:00.001-04:00

Congratulations Carmasez! You've just won a 25$ Giftcard to Target!

Congratulations Kelly! You've just won a mixed CD by me!

I will be emailing the winners today. Thanks for playing, everyone!

A Mom's Proudest Moment

2009-09-24T12:40:00.005-04:00

This morning Drew put a new toilet roll on the toilet roll holder and threw away the old toilet paper roll,

marking the first time I haven't had to switch out a toilet paper roll.

The best part? I didn't ask him to do it, he just did.
He might be trainable yet.

Number 300 Giveaway Contest

2009-09-20T00:01:00.004-04:00

This is shocking... I've made it to my 300th post!

I have probably wasted more than 300 hours on this blog. Okay, I know I have wasted that much time on my blog. Scarily enough, this is making me want to celebrate and have a giveaway... not any old giveaway, but a scavenger hunt/trivia giveaway! If you win you will win a 25$ Target Giftcard.**

Second place prize is the annual Janna-created Mixed CD, made to your specifications (as long as they don't include Christian Rock, Death Metal or County. I don't have any of that.)

Psyched to enter?

Here are the rules:

To enter, you must answer one of the questions I ask. Any question is fine- and you may look these up in my favorite posts, about me or archives section (or you can use the search tool on the right hand side).

To gain additional entries you can:

Answer more questions (Each question answered correctly is an entry.)

Follow me on twitter (2 entries)

Repost this giveaway on your blog and link back to my blog (4 entries)

StumbleUpon, Kirtsy or Digg any Janana Bee blog post that you've particularly enjoyed (2 entries)

*Please comment to recieve credit on each entry. When the contest closes (on Wednesday, Septmenber 23 at 11:59pm) I will use random.org to pick a winner out of the comment numbers, so make sure to make a comment for each entry.*

Here are the questions. Each question answered correctly is an entry.

1. How many times has Mr. Bee wrote a guest post?

2. What is the name of the man I think looks like Mr. Bee?

3. Which of the four seasons is overrated (according to me)?

4. What exactly is in that tupperware container?

5. Which Sweet Valley High twin did I want to be- Jessica or Elizabeth?

6. What college basketball team do I root for?

7. What is Drew's favorite song?

8.What is my nickname for Drew?

9. What is my nickname for Jacob?

10. Who did people say I look like?

11. What am I training for?

12. What is the "bullet"?

13. We have a little elf friend... what is his name?

14. What music festival do I attend every year?

15. How old am I?

16. What is my newest "gulity pleasure" TV show?

17. What are my children's names?

18. How old are both my kids?

19. Name a word I want removed from my lexicon.

20. Name I word I want to stay in my lexicon.

**This is my own giveaway, I am NOT being reimbursed for anything**

Please enjoy and play- you do NOT have to have a blog to enter- just make sure to include your email adress with each entry, so that if you win, I can contact you.

Geeks are underrated

2009-09-17T09:23:00.016-04:00

Last night when I was watching Glee (which is becoming a guilty pleasure of mine) I was struck by how cute I thought the Glee teacher was.... which made me think that I really like cute nerds. In fact, one might say I have a type, and part of my type is that guy cannot be conventionally handsome.

I mean, for me, Brad Pitt= snooze, George Clooney= eh! I'm just not into conventional leading men.

I know a lot of women like bad boys, I find them boring too, very one-dimensional. Give me a nerd/geek/weirdo any day... they don't take themselves too seriously, they are funny, self deprecating, and smart.

So here is my list of my favorite Nerd/Geek/Weirdo Hotties, and the Nerd/Geek/Weirdo roles that made me love them.

Matthew Morrison
Acafellas wearing a cute hat HOT. Caring Glee teacher HOT.

Paul Rudd
Paul Rudd plays the geeky brother you love to hate so well, perhaps why I fell in like with him when I saw him in Clueless. Also, totally awkward guy HOT in I Love you, Man.

Simon Pegg
Accent= HOT. Funny= HOT. Making movies 100% better just by being in them (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Run Fatboy, Run)? Hottest!

John Cusack
Indie I don't give a s**t HOT. Lloyd Dobbler HOT. I can make a hitman look HOT.

Zachary Levi
Oh wait, Zack Levi again? I'm sorry, HOT! I don't care if he is supposed to play a nerd- how many nerds look like this?

Will Smith
I totally thought this was a conventional pick until I talked to other people. Will Smith isn't hot? Is it the ears? Big ears are HOT. Last 5 minutes of The Pursuit on Happyness HOT.

Jake Gyllenhaal
Donnie Darko mentally unbalanced HOT.

Patrick Dempsey
You may be McDreamy now, but you had me at Ronald Miller HOT.

What about you?
Who do you think is unconventionally hot?

Infuriated and Grateful

2009-09-15T08:00:00.002-04:00

I want to thank you all.

Thank you for your tweets and comments after this post. I felt so alone and sad after it happened and I reached out with my story that embarrassed me, and you guys embraced it.

Now I don't feel alone and sad, but mad and pissed off at the stupid woman and society in general. Why woman are made to feel badly about their bodies and their various shapes and forms, I will never know, but I am not going to apologize for mine, or feel embarrassed or sad about it. I know I will still have my moments of self doubt, but right now in my newly realized feelings of self worth (that I can thank you for letting me realize, dear readers and commenters) I know that it is her problem with her diarrhea of the mouth, and not my problem. I shouldn't make it my issue.

Thank you for that.