Jacob vs. Zoey

2010-06-14T12:59:00.001-07:00

hi casey

A Good Enough Day

2009-07-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Jacob: Why is it still Zoey Anderson's facebook chess turn?

Zoey: Pressing matters, Jacob C!

Jacob: Zoey + facebook multitasking = fail.

Zoey: we definitely need to find something else to do with our days - how did this turn into five hours?!

Jacob: I dunno. In my defense, I'm still pretty sick and having a crushing headache... so there.

Zoey: I have no defense.

Except that I read that as 'crusting headstache'.

Jacob: That made me laugh quite a bit, then consider what that might entail and then laugh further. Unfortunately, this caused my head to hurt more. Another fail in a long line of failures for Zoey today.

Zoey: or a huge win, as that was my secret intention.

Jacob: Still a huge fail for multitasking.
Spinner and I are going to start a facebook group about how slow you are. It will be hurtful and have pictures of your head on things generally identified as being slow. Spinner does not know about this plan.

Zoey: can I have my head on a manatee? manatees are my favorite animal.
I often think about the noises they probably make; I imagine it's like a slow dronneeee noise.

I've always wanted my own facebook group.

Jacob: We will also have clever catch phrases like, "A bird, A plane, a.. we don't know but it's definitely not Zoey because it's traveling at a pace that's greater than zero!" Then we will chuckle and possibly eat cookies.

Zoey: ooh I love cookies. Hey! we could put your head on a horse guy!

Jacob: Then I would be a centaur! WIN.

Zoey: centaurs can't reproduce!
HUGE FAIL

Jacob: Because they're too awesome!
WIN

Zoey: I'd rather have sex than be greater than my regular amount of awesome!
FAIL

Jacob: Oh, we can have sex. Lots of it, there's just no consquences! (Except for Horse aids, terrible terrible horse aids)
WIN

Zoey: yeah, good luck getting a blow job.
FAIL

Jacob: If centaurs exist so do leprechauns and other appropriately heighted nymphs and such.
WIN

Zoey: ...
ewwww leprechaun sex. Their hats would be all askew!
HUGE FAIL

Jacob: RACIST!
ULTIMATE FAIL.

Zoey: ?!
Jacob C, this is true scandal. it'll probably be in the papers.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v15/zoeyanderson/jacobblowjobcentaur.gif

Jacob: That picture is hurtful and uncalled for. It was a private moment.

Zoey: Hey, I look up to you for your sexual openness

Jacob: Everyone looks up to me. I'm a centaur!

Zoey: even other centaurs? or are there other centaurs?

Jacob: Nope, just me. Hence my thing for leprechauns.

Zoey: How many leprechauns are there? is it a big playing field?
do you find it difficult to fit in?

Zoey: Uhh, I mean fit in socially not . . . uhh...

Jacob: If you think I'm going to discuss with someone who's clearly bigoted against them, think again.

Tremendous Dynamite

2009-07-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

Zoey: Hey, where'd you go?
Zoey: Jacob?
chat was sent at 12:18am
Zoey: JACOB
chat was sent at 12:38am
Zoey: okay okay I promise not to reference masturbation and eels together again
Jacob: good.
chat was sent at 12:53am

Time Lapse Lifeline

2009-07-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

Zoey: That chess game was embarrassingly quick.

Jacob: Yeah, all because you won't lower your queen to killing a horse. :) Ugh, even after killing you in chess, I have an awful headache. Jeff from work played Crazy Frog on repeat all day today.

Zoey: um actually I think they're called 'knights'. And ha ha Jeff -what a man. all I can think of is him with flock of seagulls hair, and it's making my day a little bit better.

Jacob: Yes, I'm aware of the proper name. They remain horses.
I like Jeff quite a bit too - I'm always surprised to find that there are people that really don't.

Zoey: It's a good thing you hate queens so much, or else I would lose within three moves everytime. I don't get it, games always start promising for me and then get terrible within like ten moves.

I won a $50 gift certificate from jeff today for being awesome. I'm glad he appreciates my awesomeness.

Jacob: Yeah, I think you may be more impulsive than me (this is not a difficult feat). Not that I didn't have a couple of really dumb moves that game.

Ah, you may be awesome, but ask him who the genius at work is. I accepted the chess game by the way.

Zoey: then maybe I should be flattered that he thought we were related?
...or maybe you should?

I think I'm more impulsive than 98% of the populace. Anyhow, we're pretty much the same person so we couldn't be related ANYWAYS

Jacob: Clearly we can't be the same person, or maybe we are and impulsiveness, if divided equally, would lead to us both being normally impulsive people.

He thought we were related?

Zoey: Yeah, in the lunchroom . . . remember . . .?

Jacob: I don't . . . store . . . memory . . .

Zoey: if we became the same person then we would be moderately impulsive and have decent memory retention, clearly.

I'm going to quash your horse.

Jacob: Never!

Zoey: maybe instead we could be like a tag team in video games: basically they do the same thing but being one or the other is good in particular situations.

that way you don't have to be watered a couple times a week.

and this chess game already looks bleak.

Two Daughters And A Beautiful Wife

2009-01-18T21:27:00.000-08:00

Jacob: Hey, is that a (circa 1995?) hotmail address that you use? I keep forgetting to send you oink.

Zoey: yeah, it is what i use. i was going to switch to gmail, but i figured if i stuck with hotmail the whole time i could pull the 'yeah well i had hotmail when it wasn't even cool' card.
it's really just an example of lateral thinking.

Jacob: I'm disappointed that you conceded this whole hotmail issue so quickly - I had timelines, anecdotes, possibly flowcharts, all ready for an ensuing debate.

It's a shame, really.

Zoey: hey, just because the situation is resolved does not mean i don't appreciate a good flow chart.

feel free to send them to my newest email address, spitingjacob@gmail.com

To: spitingjacob@gmail.com
From: thejacobchang@gmail.com

Hey, I tried to sign up for the address out of curiousity... and it was taken. If this is you, Zoey, you're hilarious, if this is someone else, I'm not trying to diminish your possible hilarity level, but I'm not really the one to judge you on it, given that we've never met and I know nothing about you, and you know equally little about me, beyond my apparent fascination with the sound of myself talking (typing?) and a likely propensity for run-on sentences of questionable grammatical merit.

To: thejacobchang@gmail.com
From: spitingjacob@gmail.com

i make an email, and i don't even get a flow chart?

for shame.

To: spitingjacob@gmail.com
From: thejacobchang@gmail.com

Speaking of grammar, what is with this non-capitalizing nonsense? That's some lazy typing. You should go on Binder's wall and check out the messages by his girlfriend - it's really something to aspire to.

It's not a flowchart, and it doesn't really concern the first issue, but it does address your new claim and I think it adequately shows that it fails as well. I'm sorry, I know it probably hurts.

I added a song from the best album of this year which you may or may not like, but is awesome nonetheless. Seriously, I love the album and think everyone else should too. It's like the Beach Boys, only good.

2 Attachments:
MF - Hold Your Secrets to Your Heart.mp4

To: thejacobchang@gmail.com
From: spitingjacob@gmail.com

my shift key is broken. 'sure', you might say, 'but aren't there two other shift methods on your keyboard?'. well, the answer is yes, so i suppose i am lazy. think more ee cummings than illiterate islander.

pretty sure that chart shows that gmail is inadequate compared to hotmail, otherwise why wouldn't more people have it? the masses have spoken, and hotmail is there even for the proletariate as opposed to gmail, which was, until recently, invite only. any real socialist would support hotmail on the basis that it accepts everyone, regardless of who they know, how smart they are, or how much cred they have.

i like the song. have you heard bikeride? they have a similar, if more upbeat, sound. i also like the miracle fortress song about dreaming, i forget what it's actually called.

in the words of Binder's girlfriend,

A Mirror Without

2009-01-18T21:20:00.000-08:00

Jacob: The Vanguard is the suck.

I left a message on your wall last night but it was pretty much unreadable with the drunken typos. After I left your place, I swear I wandered around trying to find my way home for about an hour. Seriously, it was pretty bad. I'm pretty sure you live about 5 minutes away from me.

Zoey: it might suck less now that i'm writing for it. or more.

haha i was wondering if you got in alright, i feel bad for shooing you out the door. how was work this morning?! i dropped in briefly [actually, i spent like half my day there] and looked for you but you weren't in your department.
typical.
:)

Jacob: Hah - I was actually on my 15, and not slacking off... as for when I was supposed to start and what time I actually arrived...

Have fun in Ottawa. :P

Zoey: i'll do my best. i hate flying, but i like it more than getting up early on a saturday for a meeting, so i guess there is silver lining to getting my first flight canceled.

in unrelated news, the halifax airport is the most boring place in the world

Jacob: Clearly other people need to post on my wall because now it looks like Zoey wall. I actually spent a full night in that airport in the bar, I'd tell you more details but it involves youthful folly and it's extremely left wing.

Zoey: ha yeah i've definitely taken over your wall.
you should add me to msn. my email is on my profile. this is assuming you are not above MSN, i think you call me '@hotmail.com' email something offensive the other night
do you want anything while i'm here? i'm taking orders, but they have to be fast orders, cause i'm only here for like twelve hours.

(deleted post)

Zoey: you want a monkey that would please dane cook.
i'll see what i can do.

11.08.07

2009-01-18T19:15:00.001-08:00

Jacob: last.fm/USER/moravscik/ - I like your top neighbour.

Zoey: oh wow, I didn't even notice that. on either count. good to see my music taste has expanded since the last account, haha. can we be last fm friends too?
ps-no way you listen to andrew bird

Jacob: Yeah, my last.fm tends not to be terribly accurate because I am usually either listening to CDs or my iPod, neither of which get scrobbled. Andrew Bird is awesome, latest is probably one of the top ten for the year.
We only have medium level matching for music. Alas.
Oh, your last.fm link is still wrong. he he.

Zoey: mine's also pretty off,especially since my little brothers use my laptop more than i do... so maybe in real life, our musical similarity is more than medium, though i gotta give you indie props -- you have bands i've never heard of.
and yeah i'll fix the link.

Jacob: Miracle Fortress and Taken By Trees - both artists, though established elsewhere, have their debuts under those names this year and both are in my top ten for 2007 so far. You should check them out if you haven't.

Anything I might not have heard that I should be listening to?

Zoey: if you like sufjan, you might like my brightest diamond and shapes and sizes, which are also on his label. a band called half handed cloud is also not bad... though all of those bands are a little more twee than what you generally seem to listen to. page france is another band to check out.

you might like final fantasy. both 'he poos clouds' and 'has a good home' are awesome albums. if you're a huge rilo kiley fan, then you've probably heard jenny lewis and the watson twins, but if not then you should. the whitest boy alive are a lot like midlake. so is sparrow house, kind of.

are peter bjorn and john good? i've only ever heard that one song.

Jacob: Well, as a preamble, this wasn't a ploy so I could act smug and superior, exclaiming, "ha ha, I know those bands already!". . . but I do. :D

I don't really like most bands on Asthmatic Kitty much, I'm not sure it's a twee thing though. I used to self-identify my taste as being twee, but most of it was early twee except for Boy Least Likely To, or The Like Young.

I used to have a music blog that was had some level of minor recognizability, with around 5k hits a day. I had a short thing on what I think is the genesis of twee (without being anachronistic).

We had an interview with Owen Pallett too. I never really got into the first album, but I like "He Poos Clouds" a lot. I love Rilo Kiley's second and third album, but the upcoming one is brutally disappointing. Jenny Lewis's solo was a bit too country-gospel for me, but the Traveling Wilburys cover was insanely good.

Zoey: alas. how humiliating.
i downloaded the newest rilo kiley today, i can't say i'm a huge fan either. i also got the new weakerthans which i really like! it's hard to top what they've done in the past though.

wow, i didn't realize that not only do you sell warranty like a motherfucker, you talked to owen pallett. i'm duly outdone.

Jacob: Ha ha.. I actually didn't talk to Pallett, that was one of the guys that came on my site later from Ottawa. He still runs it as a promotional company. He's put on a lot of shows now and one festival with lots of good indie names.

I downloaded the Weakerthans new album about a week ago, but I still haven't gotten around to listening to it. Which is weird, since I thought Reconstruction Site was really good. Where do you download music from? If you use torrents and aren't on Oink, I can send you an invite.

Very nice movie picks by the way.

... and I suck at selling warranty, our dept gets false numbers since our only sales are warranty sales.